Sunday, April 5, 2009

[Edward Doesn't Go] To Forks!

As much fun as JJ and I have been having with mini-Edward, sometimes he needs a break from the limelight...

As I troll the web feeding my insatiable hunger for all things Twilight, I occasionally happen upon something that seems worth sharing... It's likely that not everyone is as obsessed as I am, and even if you are, let's face it: there's a whoooole lotta Twi-stuff out there and it's inevitable that some good things might not make it onto everyone's collective radar.

Case in point: recently I've been contemplating the merits of getting a "Forks High" t-shirt. Mostly because it would be a sneaky way to profess my love of Twilight to those in the know without simultaneously exposing myself to the non-Twi-friendly masses. The tee they sell at Hot Topic is mighty cute and I was tempted, but then I discovered it is emblazoned with the Twilight logo across the back (they also run really small...and fitted white tees are NOT pooch-friendly...it is possible that I tried one on when I went to pick up my DVD...). Cute as it is, it would make it difficult to go semi-incognito. So I expanded my search to see what other Forks merch is out there, and came across a MASSIVE amount of Forks-related items. Most notably, imho, the swell (and apparently very gracious) town of Forks has transformed itself into a veritable mecca of Twilight-themed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!
[Soon to be more ubiquitous than the "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas" sign?]

I will likely never visit Forks. Don't get me wrong; if I had unlimited time, more disposable income, and no DH, JJ and I would likely be on the next plane to Sea-Tac, mini-Edward it tow (this despite being fully aware that none of the movie was filmed there and you're pretty much guaranteed to have bad hair days given that it is the rainiest place in the continental United States). And because the town has chosen to embrace its fame-by-association, it seems like it would actually be a fun place to visit (albeit briefly). Fine, you're probably not going to bump into the Cullens and I am sure that there must be at least a few hold-outs who are not so thrilled with the town's transformation into a vamp-friendly tourist trap attraction, but it's a destination that's likely to appeal to any Twitard out there.

Anyway, for those of you who might consider a visit, why not go all-out and stay in one of the Twilight-themed rooms at a local motel??? DH would definitely have me taken away by nice folks in white jackets were he to discover I'd booked accommodations guaranteed to make any Twifan go "SQUEEEEEEEE!!!" - this is probably more of a girls-only road trip! Seriously, what dude would willingly sleep with his S/O under a giant and somewhat creepy Edward poster?! Relationships are all about compromise, but this may be too much to ask...

Twilight Room @ The Pacific Inn - Sleep under the watchful eyes of the Cullens!

Bella Suite @ The Dew Drop Inn - Where's Edward???

I also came across a couple of interesting things as I read about everything they had done in Forks to make it more Twitourist-friendly...

Carlisle has a reserved space at the hospital (I'm not making this up! They probably only had to sacrifice an ambulance or handicapped parking spot to make way for this...) -
And at the Visitor's Center, you can take a pic next to a replica of Bella's truck (just be careful - Edward won't save you if an out-of-control car suddenly careens your way!) -

Because some entrepreneurial antique dealer has too much time on his hands, you can even find faux-vintage [fintage??] images of the Cullen Clan for sale here! For the low, low price of only four bucks a pop, you too can add a cheesy, tasteless, photoshopped image of Edward, Carlisle, Jasper, or Rosalie to your Twilight collection!
Edward's first wheels! Not a shiny silver Volvo, but better than a horse and buggy...

And Carlisle, back in the day. "The day" being the seventeenth century in this case...
Carlisle circa 1670 (I don't know why, but somehow this image just works...)

Jasper, pre-Alice, earning his stripes (literally) during the Civil War [this guy should have made a mock pic from the Vampire Wars era - now THAT I would have paid for!] -
And while I was initially impressed with the possibility that maybe this guy had done his Twilight homework prior to creating these pics and attempting to make a profit from it, his "photos" of Rosalie in her wedding dress (faux-doctored to show how she had later removed the groom) suggest that he still has a thing or two to learn [note to the person selling these photos: Snarkier Than You and Jenny Jerkface's collective Twilight expertise is available for a reasonable consulting fee...] -
During your visit, stop in to any of the numerous restaurants in Forks offering Twi-friendly meals - Bella Burger, anyone? Or if you are feeling flush, perhaps some mushroom ravioli at the somewhat swanky Bella Italia???
[note the amazing resemblance to Bella... But for under three buck, who's complaining?!]

Seriously, you can't throw a rock in this town without hitting something Twilight-related...

No tour of Forks would be complete without a stop at the local high school - but please keep in mind that Bella and Edward have moved on, and it is technically illegal to try to sit in on biology class...

Which brings me back to my original point - the search for the perfect Forks Tee - I'm thinking a little something like this - and since it's kind of a social experiment of sorts, I think I will be documenting it's inaugural wearing when the time comes... Stay tuned!


21 comments:

  1. Great blog!

    That last black and red shirt is gorgeous. I know an entire department at my job that would line up to get it :)

    http://boredomsbounty.blogspot.com/

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  2. You are on to something here! I'll be waiting for the update on how this shirt is in real life!! Thanks for the fun & entertaining blog!

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  3. Well I guess my hubby is OK after all. I mean I have 2 posters of Edward on the wall next to our bed. And they are the same exact posters. One is just framed. I thought of buying the matching blanket but it might have thrown him over the edge. LOL

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  4. Hi! Your blog is super awesome!
    Thank God Forks got all Twilight-y. It used to be the boringest place on Earth! I haven't been to post-Twilight Forks but I am going soon... possibly in a mere month! But I only get to go b/c for me it is a free vacation with lovely accomodations at my parent's house. Hopefully the hubby will accompany me without too much complaint.
    Here is a recent blog I wrote about Forks if you'd like to check it out ;)
    http://etomyb.blogspot.com/2009/03/atonement.html
    Thanks for being funny and making me feel less alone in my Twi-crazies. ;)

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  5. I was just looking at Twilight tees yesterday! Trying to find ones that aren't super obvious! I love the Forks High shirts, and the La Push Diving Team shirts. thank god I am not the only one who wants to show the twilight love more discreetly... we're not tween/fangirls! fo sho!

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  6. Thanks for the comments - you guys crack me up, too!

    @ for the love of pictures - You, too, can have your very own sneaky Twilight tee! That one is available at Cafe Press (along with about a gazillion other designs...) -
    http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/twilight-forks-spartans-mascot-womens-vneck-dark/360346619

    @ Melanie - Glad you like the blog! I will definitely be writing up "The Great Forks Tee Experiment" in the future! JJ has agreed to document with photos...

    @ Tiffany - I am actually speechless. And thinking maybe I should give it a shot and hang my posters up??? Um, or not. I'm s-u-r-e my DH would freak!

    @ EtomyB - Must be cool to have your folks in Forks [sorry - couldn't help myself...]! I'll definitely check out your blog - glad you like ours!

    @ kdgrimmer - I'm all about discretion. Well, when I'm not out in public taking pictures of mini-Edward, anyway - lol! I liked the La Push tees, too, but I gotta stay true to "Team Edward"! : )

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  7. I was thisclose to going into Hot Topic on Saturday to look for a fairly discrete Twilight t-shirt, but I'm a sissy and was scared of the looks I'd get from all the emo employees ... so I looked longingly at the display in the window and pushed the stroller forward (yup, baby was with me at the time).

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  8. @ Kathy - Honestly, I can't speak for EVERY Hot Topic, but the one I haunt near my office in Princeton is awesome. As inexplicable as it may seem, none of the cooler-than-you kids behind the counter have given me the stink-eye or uttered so much as a snicker (and I was prepared for a snicker. Or two.). I mean, they handed me an invite to the dvd release party with a straight face (no kidding). They've actually been NICE! I am a total 'fraidy cat, too. So you go get that t-shirt!! You only live once. Eff 'em.
    : )
    If in doubt, please read my "Tales From HT"- sorta post -
    http://twitarded.blogspot.com/2009/02/twilight-confessional-pocket-edward.html

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  9. You can get a burger for under $5.00?! And it's not a White-Castle-Colon-Killing-Slider?! Wow, I'm definitely going to Forks.

    I'll just make sure that I tell ML that I'll book the room...

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  10. JJ - just found this blog. LOVE it! Will be back frequently! I am a 34 year old, married, mother of 2. My youngest is 9 months old and I am still nursing (sorry, TMI!). Which means that none of my regular/pre-baby shirts will fit until after the Wee One's first birthday & I have her weaned. So last fall when she was a couple of months old, I felt sorry for my boring/nursing wardrobe. I decided I HAD to treat myself to some under-the-radar Twilight shirts to spice up my clothing selection. None of mine are from Hot Topic, but I have some great ones from Cafe Press. This is the first one I bought:

    http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/forks-2-womens-plus-size-scoop-neck-tshirt/308144999

    The first time i wore it to drop my 4 year old off at preschool, another mom looked at me and went "OMG! Twilight! So subtle!"

    So now there are several of us that are friends that keep getting Twilight shirts that are fairly retro, etc. The other two I have are these:

    Black Swan Motorcycle Restoration:
    http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/jr-ringer-tshirt/336854589

    And my most favorite, Isle Esme:
    http://clothing.cafepress.com/item/isle-esme-womens-raglan-hoodie/296389779

    I know those aren't Forks High, but they are subtle & I thought you & your readers might enjoy.

    Happy wearing!
    Anne

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  11. @ Anne - I LOVE the "Black Swan Bikes" design! I might have to get more than tee - lol! I had thought about seeing if I could come up with my own "covert" designs but honestly Cafe Press has such an assortment that I'm not sure what (if anything) they left out... Thanks for the tips - glad you enjoy the blog - and don't worry - I don't think JJ and I have any limits when it comes to "TMI"! : )

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  12. I swear, if we weren't on opposite sides of the country I'd think we were the same person!! LOL I found a Forks High Tshirt at Hot Topic that I was thinking of getting for the same EXACT reason!!! They have one in the guy size that is blue and says "Forks High" like the girly white one. I don't think it says Twilight on the back either...can't be having regular folk think us old broads are weirdo Twifans right!?! It's on my birthday list :^)

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  13. @ Aunt B - LOL!!! Yes, it appear that you are my west-coast doppelganger!

    Beware the white T - SOOOO tiny... So perfect for the tiny teen/tween who should be wearing it (who has no reason to be embarrassed by the whole thing, mind you). (((sigh)))

    I only want the other "in the know" old broads to recognize me as the Twitard I am...
    : )

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  14. Oh! One more thing, ladies! Aunt B's comments reminded me...if you order any of the Cafe Press shirts, be sure to check out what brand T the seller is using. My "Forks, WA" shirt is a size large American Apparel shirt. I normally wear a size 8 all around, but post-baby/current nursing state has me up a size or so. I have a VERY non-existent bust, and nursing only puts me up to a solid A. Anyway, that size Large Am. Apparel shirt is SNUG. All over. So if you are luckier than I to be graced with some larger ta-ta's... I'd order carefully so as not to be disappointed!! (I wash mine & then stretch it while it's wet...) I was too excited to return it & wait for an XL. OH for the love of Twilight!! :) You said "no limits" on TMI! :) it's so nice to see some other "old broads" (I bet we're not THAT old!) obsessing!!

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  15. I actually found this website that just does high school memorabilia. You can type in any high school in the US, and they have all these things they can put the school logo on. I plan on getting some tees and sweatshirts soon.

    http://www.alumniclass.com/forks/store/apparel-high-school-forks-wa

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  16. @ Whitley - thanks for the tip!

    @ Anne - LOL! yeah, i've had some experience with American Apparel Tees and things - they do run REALLY small (i'm not super-busty but i do have to do a little shirt-stretching pre-wear) - they're essentially designing stuff for hipsters - i've created a handy hipster size chart:

    XS - people so tiny you can't see them, but they are rumored to exist (what all other hipsters aspire to: "hipster nirvana")

    S - does not eat; lives on second-hand smoke and dew off of Sparks cans

    M - eats only sugar-free gum, cigarettes, cocaine

    L - same as above; occasionally consumes small portions of "ironic" foods (fluffernutter, candy necklaces, hello kitty jelly beans)

    XL - nobody will talk about this one; hipster equivalent of "untouchable" caste

    (and no, i'm not THAT old... just old enough to know that i am too old to be blogging about twilight - lol...)

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  17. Love your blog!
    If you want to see some first hand pics of a (21 - hour) road trip from Los Angeles to Forks, check out our blog at viewfromavampire.blogspot.com

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  18. THAT sizing chart is hilarious! So I am thinking alternate size equivalents could be (XS) The Olson Twin, (S) La Lohan (M) The Fox (L) The Brit Brit (she seems like the type to enjoy "ironic" foods along with her Cheetos & Redbulls..) and (XL) well, like you said, we cannot talk about it. Therefore, XL will be She Who Must Not Be Named.

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  19. Ha! @Anne - 'she who must not be named' is hysterical. I definitely needed that this morning.

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  20. THAT sizing chart is hilarious! So I am thinking alternate size equivalents could be (XS) The Olson Twin, (S) La Lohan (M) The Fox (L) The Brit Brit (she seems like the type to enjoy "ironic" foods along with her Cheetos & Redbulls..) and (XL) well, like you said, we cannot talk about it. Therefore, XL will be She Who Must Not Be Named.

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  21. JJ - just found this blog. LOVE it! Will be back frequently! I am a 34 year old, married, mother of 2. My youngest is 9 months old and I am still nursing (sorry, TMI!). Which means that none of my regular/pre-baby shirts will fit until after the Wee One's first birthday & I have her weaned. So last fall when she was a couple of months old, I felt sorry for my boring/nursing wardrobe. I decided I HAD to treat myself to some under-the-radar Twilight shirts to spice up my clothing selection. None of mine are from Hot Topic, but I have some great ones from Cafe Press. This is the first one I bought:

    http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/forks-2-womens-plus-size-scoop-neck-tshirt/308144999

    The first time i wore it to drop my 4 year old off at preschool, another mom looked at me and went "OMG! Twilight! So subtle!"

    So now there are several of us that are friends that keep getting Twilight shirts that are fairly retro, etc. The other two I have are these:

    Black Swan Motorcycle Restoration:
    http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/jr-ringer-tshirt/336854589

    And my most favorite, Isle Esme:
    http://clothing.cafepress.com/item/isle-esme-womens-raglan-hoodie/296389779

    I know those aren't Forks High, but they are subtle & I thought you & your readers might enjoy.

    Happy wearing!
    Anne

    ReplyDelete

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