Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's Time for a Career Change

I have a confession to make.

Before my addiction to Twilight, I never gave a flying fart about movie stars, or even movies. I mean, sure, I LOVE movies and I have my favorites but I didn't care who was in the movie or who directed it as long as it was good.

That has all changed. Twilight has made me a different person. Now I drool over pictures of RPatz and spend most of my free time catching up on all the Twilight gossip. Frankly, it's kind of hard to keep up.

That's why I've decided I need a career change. Rather than juggle my new obsession AND my soul sucking career choice, I've decided that I'm getting into acting. More specifically, acting in two of the four Twilight movies (unless I can somehow also get a role in New Moon, that is).

I could be sitting on that couch.

You see, if I'm already on the set than I don't have to furtively sneak around the Internet all day for Twilight information - it'll be all at my fingertips. I can drool ON RPatz if I want, for crying out loud.

Plus, let's face it - acting looks fucking fun. They hang around sets all day, people dress them and do their makeup, and then they go out and party at night (well, not unless you're Taylor - his ass has to be up early to work out or sumpthin'). I don't know about you, but that's sounds a whole lot better than, say, staring at mind-numbing spreadsheets and calculator tape all day, ya know?


Anyway, it was really 86 Rabbit who gave me the idea. She posted a link about Eclipse auditions. I already have a headshot (thanks Myspace!) and I try to keep my resume current, though, frankly, I think my glaring lack of acting skills might be a hurtle I'll have to overcome. I waited tables for years - that's sort of like acting, isn't it? I'm really good at faking sick, too.

Now, I know I'm just a tad older than most of the cast of Twilight but they can use makeup for that sort thing, can't they? You know, maybe do a little CGI on my face and take a couple (fine, fine, at least 10) years off my face?

Oh, and one more thing: I guess this means I'm going to have to start smoking again, since that appears to be mandatory on the set. That's cool, I'm a team player...



17 comments:

  1. I'm with you, acting sounds a lot better than working the regular job, being bored out of your mind, waiting for the end of the day.

    And heck yes, the waiting tables is kind of the same thing! A lot of actors start off waiting tables.

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  2. I agree also. I'm willing to forsake my husband and two children to become a fancy Twilight (I'm exclusive) actress. I'm pretty sure I could steal one of those boys away from Bella.

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  3. If all it takes is a lot of twitching and looking glum, then I'm pretty sure I'd be an awesome actor. (Here's looking at you Kstew)

    I'm going to go practice my emo face in the bathroom mirror right now. I hope no coworkers walk in... ;)

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  4. Word. Though I screw up something every time I tried to act when I was younger ... in Ann of Green Gables I threw a wooden spoon across the stage (whoops) and in another play I kind of dropped a (fake) gun. If I tried to play a vampire, I'd probably accidentally kill somene. Big whoops.

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  5. Hey, great idea, JJ. Since I gave you the idea, how about you throw me a bone? I'm between jobs right now. I could be your Jerkface Assistant.

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  6. Hey guys. Do you have an email addy I can have? I 'm sorry if it's posted & I am just blind. Mine is kim@cullenboysanonymous.com.

    Thanks! BTW please get a job acting so I can live vicariously through you.

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  7. @ 86rabbit - Sorry, but I have first dibs as JJ's assistant when she gets all rich & famous. When she's on set, I'll be right there, gently wiping her drool off of R-Patz's face. But I will probably need some help. Co-Assistants??? I'll share... [JJ's very needy... She'll say she's not, but she is...]

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  8. @STY - Needy, eh? We'll see about that...

    @86 Rabbit - You're in! Just a warning if you share with the position with STY - she doesn't play fair. ;)

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  9. @STY - I have no problem being Second Jerkface Assistant. Maybe when you are on set getting JJ a bottle of Fiji and I'm "stuck" in the trailer doing manual Second Jerkface Assistant labor Rob will drop by and...

    What was I saying? Oh yeah! @JJ - I accept!

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  10. @86 Rabbit - Awesome!! I'm so excited!

    @STY - make sure that fiji water is chilled to at least 45 degrees farenheit. I want it in my favorite glass (the green one with the chicken) with five ice cubes. Oh, and a little stirry straw too.

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  11. i want to be zooey deschanel when i grow up

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  12. @ LTT - take me with you!!! then we can make cool indie movies and do awesome collaborations with m. ward [i love me some m. ward] and marry cute guys from other cool bands!!! besides, you can see already that JJ is going to be a completely unbearable diva when she stikes it rich - if that fiji water is one degree off, she'll have me thrown out on my ear. please???

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  13. Haha. I have had the exact same thoughts. I really do want to be an actor. And I think I would make a good one for the same reason as you, I wait tables. You have to be one damn fine actor to pretend to care how people want their steak cooked!

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  14. @perpetual fangirl - You've got that right! I figure if I had enough skill to plaster a smile on my face while someone was berating me for putting to many ice cubes in their fucking soda - I'm headin' for the Oscars, baby! lol.

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  15. @ LTT - take me with you!!! then we can make cool indie movies and do awesome collaborations with m. ward [i love me some m. ward] and marry cute guys from other cool bands!!! besides, you can see already that JJ is going to be a completely unbearable diva when she stikes it rich - if that fiji water is one degree off, she'll have me thrown out on my ear. please???

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  16. @STY - Needy, eh? We'll see about that...

    @86 Rabbit - You're in! Just a warning if you share with the position with STY - she doesn't play fair. ;)

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