Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Vegetarian Vampires – a Conversation

I'm sure, if you've read a few of my posts, you know ML is not a fan of Twilight. At all. He only tolerates my obsession with all things Twilight because he knows if I'm not focused on this, I could potentially zero in on something that might adversely affect him. Like the messy state of our apartment. So, naturally, given the choice between having me hole up in the back room or me wandering around the apartment and asking him to a) do the dishes b) pick up his clothes c) vacuum, etc., he leaves me to my addiction. He's a smart man, that ML.

Despite his zero lack of interest in Twilight I still blabber about it constantly to him, which means he knows things against his will. He doesn't want to know that Edward is cold and sparkly, but he does. He could care less that the Cullens can't step foot on Quileute territory - but he still knows it.

He also knows that the Twilight vampires (well, the good ones, anyway) are 'vegetarian', a concept he finds... baffling.
ML: What do you mean, vegetarians?
JJ: They don't drink the blood of humans.
ML: What do they drink?
JJ: Animal blood.
ML: They're still drinking blood, though. How can they be vegetarian if they're still drinking blood?
JJ: {heaves a martyred sigh} Because they aren't drinking human blood. That means they don't kill humans.
ML: So, they're fake vegetarians? Drinking animal blood is still drinking blood. That's like those people who call themselves vegetarians but they eat fish. Fake vegetarians.
JJ: It's different. They have to drink some kind of blood.
ML: Wouldn't animal blood weaken them?
JJ: Er, a little, but not really. {Doesn't mention Jasper's suggestion to go off 'the wagon' in Breaking Dawn}
ML: Do they eat powerful animals, like grizzlies and shit?
JJ: {giggles} Uh huh. That's Emmett's favorite.
ML: {gives me the hinky eye} So, you're reading a series about teenage vampires who say they are vegetarians but aren't really vegetarians? {Shakes head} That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
JJ: It is not!
ML: Vegetarian vampires! It makes no sense!
JJ: {Throws hands up in disgust} You just don't get it. {Incidentally, this phrase is becoming my 'go to' when discussing Twilight with anyone who does not read or like Twilight} Forget it.
What do you want for dinner, by the way?
ML: Hmmm. I think I'll heat up a black bean burger...



Oh, and by the way, ML is a vegetarian himself.

pic from here.

16 comments:

  1. Should've given him the tofu example from the book! Although, if he doesn't like or hasn't the read the books, he still probably wouldn't get it anyway. *sigh*

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  2. Aren't you freakin tired of people eyeing you like some mental patient about to go after the butter knife?

    I am. It happens on a daily basis.

    I'm just going to start directing all the "stare-ers" to the Stephenie Meyer website. Nuff said.

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  3. This is a totally cute conversation and sounds just like the ones I used to have with Jeremy before he allowed me to read the books out loud to him. Will he watch New Moon with you?

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  4. My husband and I both enjoyed the movie. I devoured the books and he refuses to read them. Every time I bring up something from one of the books he refuses to hear it!

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  5. HAHA...this totally sounds like my Not-Quite-Edward.
    He has this look ,sort of like who are you? and where the hell is my wife? I've been seeing a lot of it lately, and trust me I am on my best behavior and try to control my Twiblabber to a minimum.
    Except, now he knows whenever I laugh at myself or talk under my breath something Twirelated just happened (saw a Volvo on the street, someone wearing Ray Bans, wolves on Discovery Channel...you know, the usual, and by usual I mean everything on Planet Earth!!)

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  6. This is my very first post on your page. I heart your page! :)
    And I love this conversation, like all those posting before me.
    My husband and I have a good thing going.
    He's obsessed with WOW and I'm obsessed with Twilight. We both allow one another to completely go off and pretend to understand. ;)
    But that still doesn't stop him from getting the same snarky look every time we discuss veggie vamps... I don't know if men can accept such a concept????

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  7. my husband snapped the other day when I tried to show him something funny on youtube...
    I said "honey watch this, watch, its funny! WATCH this!" and then he exploded "NO!! ITS TWILIGHT ISN'T IT!? it is SERIOUSLY EFFIN' ANNOYING!" well, it wasn't about twilight, and he never did watch it. *humph* =(
    I guess I have really burnt him out on the whole deal. I have really tried to not talk about it around him. He watches the movie with me sometimes, but I've loaned out my DVD to keep myself from watching it too much (no worries, its on my pc and ipod too) and for fear that is might be dvd-napped or murdered by the twi-hating-hubster. plus how else will I convert everyone I know into crazed twilight fanatics like me? =D hehe

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  8. LOL! I love how...ahem, patient the men in our lives are about this. :P Either that or they're just waiting for the papers from the mental ward to clear our insurance companies.

    I'm used to ML looking at me hinky though, to be honest. I sort of live to embarrass him...he's quiet and I am definitely not.

    So far we've only watched half of Twilight together. We stopped when he realized I was recording his reactions with my voice recorder (muwhahaha!!) More on that later...

    I almost feel sorry for all our boys when New Moon comes out. Almost. LOL.

    Thank you for all the comments!!

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  9. I've done a pretty good job at keeping the bulk of my Twilight obsession from my husband. My wee Edward lives in my purse and never sees the light of day when hubby is around. I'm heading to Cooperstown this weekend and am trying to figure out how to get a pic of wee Edward at the Baseball Hall of Fame without getting caught! They just don't understand! Oh and he flat out refuses to watch the movie...

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  10. I think my lovely DH only watches/reads the books so that we have something in common right now! Not that is stops him making fun of me. He completely draws the line at a Pocket Edward....Oh well......

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  11. Technically, it doesn't make sense but we Twilight lovers accept it and make sense out of it...in our twisted, vampire-loving minds, lol. But if we wanted to get specific, then the Cullens would have to drink a blood substitute and that's getting into something entirely whacky!

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  12. @Koolio - It's amazing how far we can stretch out imaginations, isn't it? LOL. It really makes zero sense. I mean, it's not like the blood is something fun to do on the weekends- they need it to live.

    Ok, now I'm delving into potentially 'crazy' territory.

    @Kristen - surprisingly, ML is ok with me dragging Edward everywhere. He refuses to read the books and I couldn't get him to sit through the movie, but, hey. He lets me feed my addiction, lol.

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  13. I like the way you say your ML knows things against his will! Its the same thing at my house. My husband teases me constantly about setting up an intervention for me and infecting our kids. He looks at me like I'm crazy but he knows how to make me smile, he's brought me home lots of twi-loot - tote bag, jewelery box, keychain, movie companion book, director's notebook... I even put up a big-ass movie poster in our bedroom that I won at a DVD release party (I really didn't think it would be up for long) but its still there!! Although he did put a huge neon sticky note by Edwards eyebrows with SHAVE HERE! on it.

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  14. @Stephanie - I can't believe you got away with putting a movie poster in your bedroom!!!

    And your husband's sticky note is HYSTERICAL. Hands down. And, he's absolutely right. Edward/RPatz's eyebrows are huge caterpillars. lol!

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  15. Stephanie, I have a 43-year old friend who may be more addicted to Twilight than you. Not only does she have a movie poster in her bathroom but when I mentioned spotting the life-size cardboard cutout of Edward, she had to run right out to get it for her bedroom. And then she has the nerve to complain about her husband's World of Warcraft addiction!

    If you haven't listened to the commentary version of the movie, Catherine Hardwicke gives Rob a hard time about how his eyebrows looked before the movie and about how they had to tweeze/wax them for the film.

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  16. I like the way you say your ML knows things against his will! Its the same thing at my house. My husband teases me constantly about setting up an intervention for me and infecting our kids. He looks at me like I'm crazy but he knows how to make me smile, he's brought me home lots of twi-loot - tote bag, jewelery box, keychain, movie companion book, director's notebook... I even put up a big-ass movie poster in our bedroom that I won at a DVD release party (I really didn't think it would be up for long) but its still there!! Although he did put a huge neon sticky note by Edwards eyebrows with SHAVE HERE! on it.

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