Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Mini-Edward Goes to the ER!

I think I've mentioned in the past that since his arrival in my life back in January, Mini-Edward accompanies me everywhere I go. No matter what bag or purse (or "pockabook" as the ladies of "WeBitePrettyHard" said once and now I can't stop saying it), I always find room for Mini-E and his carrying case.

I suppose it's lucky for me that I've never been one of those chicks who carries a lipstick and a credit card and that's it; I like to be prepared for everything that might come my way. By which of course I mean I might want to wear five different lipstick colors (plus several balms - I am an addict) in the course of the day; have my choice of pepper spray or pocket knife should the need arise to defend myself; and be capable of freshening my breath with an assortment of gum, mints, floss, toothbrush, toothpaste - well, you get the idea... Fresh breath is never inconsequential. What if I unexpectedly run into you-know-who??? I want him to be able to say "My, your lips look so kissable! And your minty breath is irresistible! Please don't mace me, ok? Just defend me from that pack of rabid fan-girls rushing up behind me..." And then I carry him off like he's Whitney Houston in "The Bodyguard" and... Um, wait, where was I again?? Oh yeah - yesterday's trip to the ER...

Anyway, when I go to the doctor's office - any doctor - Edward comes along, too. And when I inevitably find myself stuck in a room by myself with nothing but a very pawed-through copy of "AARP Today" to keep me company, he usually makes an appearance (albeit a brief one because I am a scaredy cat and don't want to get busted).

He comes to general evaluations and physicals...


He comes with me when I go to the ophthalmology office:


And yesterday he had the pleasure of taking his first trip to the Emergency Room! Way to go Edward - you're such a trooper!

To backtrack a tad, I was at work Monday morning and started feeling a little squiffy... My nose (and ability to breath through it) went haywire, my face started getting red and puffy (not a nice look, ftr), I suddenly got itchy, and my heart was racing. I felt hot (not in a Twi-porn-induced way, either). And then I noticed that I was turning scarlet and breaking out in hives. Everywhere.

Believe it or not, in my personal life I hate making a spectacle of myself (really!) so I turn to the person who sits nearest to my desk and ask her to keep an eye on me for a minute and maybe call someone should I keel over... I guess I can't blame her for immediately picking up the phone and asking my boss (who is awesome) to come RIGHT NOW. He brings the HR director (who is also awesome) with him. Everyone sits there staring at me for ten minutes and when it becomes obvious that the hives are getting worse and people began wondering aloud if anyone might have an epi-pen handy, I am shuttled off to the hospital.

The ER is a place where the "time on your hands" to "desirable/distracting reading material" ratio is unlikely to work in your favor. Although the Princeton ER isn't exactly a hive of activity and it's unlikely that I'll have to wait TOO long, I realize I that in my haste to get there I have almost none of my usual stuff with me. But then again... I DO have Mini-E with me. And my phone...

If Tasha at Something Less Productive... can blog about and post a pic of her DH while he is awaiting his vasectomy, far be it from me to wuss out over a little rash...

[Tasha, this STILL cracks me up... Is that wrong???]

I text JJ: Having massive allergic reaction to who the fuck knows what & am in princeton ER...

Two seconds later she texts back: Holy shit! need me 2 come? [this would have involved not only ditching her work on an uber-busy day, but also multiple rail lines and about two hours. I love her for offering.]

While everyone is busy on the other side of the curtain trying to figure out what is wrong with a very sweet elderly woman who is assuring everyone she's just there for a check-up, I quickly snap a pic and send it to JJ:


Since it's possible I was a tiny bit panicky at the time, I'm glad he was there to scope out the surroundings, declared "Carlisle Would Approve," and talk me off the ledge...

I get a reply from JJ: He looks very concerned...

I shoot back: I've only got him & a cup of my own pee to play with so he's being a good sport...

I'm there for a while with people coming and going and running tests... Earlier they'd started an IV and I realize I'm getting a bit woozy from the combo of drugs and the fact that it's mid-afternoon and I haven't eaten anything since breakfast... Photo op!!! I take a pic and send it to JJ -

We are both getting hungry...

At some point I score a copy of Newsweek with a story on Twitter on the cover...

Doing bloggy homework while i wait...

Me: What does it say about me that i'm wondering if i should tweet being in ER?

JJ: The same thing is says about me b/c i think u totally should do it.

Me: ...& that's why we are bffs... Just got my walking papers and Mr. Snarky is on his way!

When it was all said and done, I'm glad that I had JJ & mini-E to keep me company! And nobody (including me) had a clue what I'd reacted to in the first place. I'm thinking maybe there were some bad vamps or rogue shape-shifters in the area...

P.S. I am fine now! Three cheers for steroids! Now I am going to go write fifty new posts...and clean the house...and write those letters I've been meaning to get to...and I think the cat needs a bath... [This is STY on prednisone...]

44 comments:

  1. STY - OME I had nooo idea! glad you're ok, first of all(or are you ok- what ended up happening?)

    And second, love, LOVE the fact that you had PE with you; he always makes for fun photo ops.

    Miss you guys- darned life getting in the way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ack! So scary. Glad you are OK!

    Glad Pocket Edward thought that Dr.(ILF) Carlisle would approve. PE always knows just what to say :]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, myz the drama!
    BTW, this is the best image ever-
    "And then I carry him off like he's Whitney Houston in "The Bodyguard"
    LMAO!
    Makes me think of this-
    http://17.media.tumblr.com/zv8qY2asrojsy8nmopNA0CvEo1_500.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  4. Glad you are okay! Gotta love trips to the er.. or not.. But atleast PE was there to keep you company. He did look mighty concerned.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm glad you're okay now!

    You guys have inspired me to buy my own Mini Edward! He should be arriving in the mail any day now. I can't wait to have my own Mini E adventures to take pictures of! :]

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh STY--I am so glad PE was there with you to keep you company--what a doll.

    Seriously, glad you are OK. You have inspired to me to take my PE with me more frequently--I do need a handy carrying case though--must look into that. My very large purse is full of gawd knows what that might tarnish dear PE's lovely sculpted face.

    I just love the imagery of you sneaking PE out and snapping hasty photos before the doctor pulls back the curtain or opens the door. Have you prepped what you will you say when you get caught one of these days?

    Not to make light of your allergy scare but your situation reminded me of a great children's book called "A Bad Case of Stripes"--check it out--it is quite funny.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anntastic (aka Anne)July 1, 2009 at 12:16 AM

    STY! So glad you are OK. They really have no idea what you had a reaction to? Work maybe? I'm sure it was some bad vamps in the area, or maybe Jacob. Anyway, Edward continued to show CLASSIC restraint, appreciating the bouquet while resisting the wine (or IV as it was in your case.) He is nothing if not steadfast & reliable, oui?

    Add some Benadryl to that well-stocked bag of yours (if you ever choose to become a mom someday, you are WELL equipped already - action figures included!)

    Rest up!

    ReplyDelete
  8. yikes - you got chutzpah girlfriend..And You're so Butch (in a good way) thinking of gettin all Bodyguard on rob - carrying him off - when you are clearly having an ER moment. I'm sure PE watched you sleep that night..and never left your side.
    glad u r ok. phew.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Forgot to mention that the "AARP Today" reference cracked me up! So true, so true.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks everyone!! And hope I didn't gross anyone out (too much) with my TMI and iffy pics...

    I know I probably crossed a line or two here but what the hell - you know what they say: when life hands you lemons, make vodka lemonade - Mmmm... Tasty!

    Plus as I think some of you have mentioned [and I'm lookin' your way, VitaminR, even though you were referring to sex at the time and I am clearly not in this instance...], it's pretty comfy sharing all the details of my life with you guys, for better or for worse! You're all stuck with me now...

    : )

    ReplyDelete
  11. So glad that you're okay and that you didn't have to go through that alone!

    ReplyDelete
  12. this post is bringing me out of lurking. first off, glad you are okay; too scary. second, the picture with the IV and Edward, i scared the cats i laughed so hard!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dude...that was a close call! Please tell me you didn't get a package from FedEx...tell me STY! I swear FedEx is trying to take out my bloggy friends. Be on the look out.

    I'm so pissed I didn't have a Mini Ed for DH's snip-snip-fun! THAT would've been funnier. =D

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sucks.. I'm glad that you recovered though. Nothing like random mysterious illnesses or reactions. Hey guess what. I went to the ER too yesterday. Bet mines was worst. I had montezuma's revenge and then the smell from the bathroom made me sick and I started throwing up too. I went to the ER thinking I was dying. (just checking..) and basically I have the stomach flu. But my mini E was with me too and unfortunately he witness more than he wanted to yesterday. It was a bonding experience for the both of us. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. well im happy to hear you rny dying, cuz idk where ne vamps are, and i mean i dont want you to die, i depend on u and jj for comedic relief, so i need to find sum1 to change u shopuld this occur again.

    feel better, and yes the steriods they give u suck.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Glad to hear that you're ok and that Mini-E was there to give you the support you needed. Love is so much more special when it's with an inanimate object. A possible cause...Maybe RPatz was contemplating the latest happenings on his favourite website (that's Twitarded of course), and with your omniscient like connection to both him and the cosmos, the effect was a very, very bad case of blushing. Jus' sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  17. "I've only got him & a cup of my own pee to play with so he's being a good sport..." = FTW
    I am glad you survived, with sense of humor intact no less! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. See, this is why I love ya guys ... if it was me, I would have been obsessing about finally buying it in the ER while wearing my aforementioned 10-year-old period panties AND carrying a 7-inch action figure in my purse. I'm apparently still wedged a little too f*ing tight in the Twi-closet.

    Sigh. Nevertheless, your bravery in the hospital today inspires me. I've put Pocket Edward into my Amazon shopping cart, waiting for that moment when I know ... all right, all right, when I've had the appropriate amount of alcohol to bring him home to mama.

    Take care of your crazy ass, STY - Suz

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just discovered Twitarded...you guys are SO funny and so creative...I just about peed my pants reading the 100-is Ways last night! Twilight has brought a new spark to my life...love just mught be worth investing in again and now LOL humor...much needed in my pathetic (at the moment) life!! Thanks for the laughs...might try some blogging/writing myself!!:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh I hope you feel better know! Take care!!

    It´s a pity that Dr. Carlisle Cullen was not around... but if he would work in a hospital nearby one would find tons of excuses to go to the ER.. ;-)

    But I´m sure Mini-E will watch over you. Wasn´t it really hard for him to be so close to your blood?? Poor guy..
    Very likely he was so worried about you, that it didn´t matter.

    He is so brave.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Glad to hear everything ended up ok. Since I'd been having weird anaphylactic reactions to something for the last 6 months, I finally went for testing. Turns out I was having reactions to ibuprofen (aka advil, motrin, aleve etc.). Apparently it's a really common allergy and you don't necessarily react to it like other allergies; it can be intermittent and seem kind of random. Something to think about, perhaps?

    Or maybe you're just lacking vitamin RPattz. I imagine a little eye candy and some sweet dreams would clear that right up.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Glad you had Edward to keep you company, and am glad he is thoughtful enough to check out the hospital before/while allowing anything to be done to you

    also cool to see he had restraint when faced with the IV in your arm and didn't rip it out in an uncontrollable feeding frenzy.

    Glad you are feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
  23. When I saw the title of the post - I actually gasped, out loud. I'm so glad you're ok! But what a totally suck ass thing to have happen to you, especially at work. I'm sure you felt safe with Mini E by your side!

    And dude, "I've only got him & a cup of my own pee to play with so he's being a good sport..." - holy shit, I nearly peed in my pants!

    BTW, glad to meet another lip balm addict (I just did a post on Monday about Chapstick for our dry-lipped Twilight friends!) Too funny!

    Next time you decide to roll around in the meadow, make sure there's no poison ivy!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Glad you are doing better! Hope you don't have any more wierd reactions! Aren't Twi-BFF's the best? I know Bitches would offer to come to my bedside in my time of need as well. Thanks for the "pockabook" shout-out! I really need to get a pencil case for my PEs because I noticed one of them had a mark on his face from traveling so much!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Love the post, Hate that you got sick. But I am glad to hear you are doing better. Edward really is a trooper. At least you had company (Mini-Edward) while you were probably WIDE AWAKE that night!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Of course you make a visit to the ER funny! I'm glad that you are doing ok and that Mini-E was there to hold your hand.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It's a good thing Edward has been to medical school several times to help Carlisle, otherwise it might have gotten a little messy...

    Glad you're ok now. We need you and JJ to provides us with our regular Twitarted dose!

    ReplyDelete
  28. "I've only got him & a cup of my own pee to play with so he's being a good sport..."

    Too Freaking Funny! I am glad you are ok! Scary stuff!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. You know I love you and all but I still crack up over those pictures. There's nothing like getting an 'I'm in the ER but it's cool cuz' Mini Edward is here with me'. I love ya, STY.

    ReplyDelete
  30. yikes STY... hope you're all better now! lucky they didn't admit you to psych ;)

    twitarded... turning lemons into twilighty lemonade since 2009

    be well

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh STY,

    Thank goodness you're all right! :)

    Now, I don't want to get your hopes up (and then crush them, when you realize the preventative measures your well-meaning physicians took)—but is it possible that you were reacting to VENOM?

    P.S. I love that the photo from the eye doctor's office is BLURRY.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm so glad you're better now! Good thing PE was in your "pocketbook"!

    I love the mental image of you rushing to get a photo of PE before a doc comes through the curtain. Too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh scary stuff! So glad to hear that you are feeling better and that PE was there to help pass the time and comfort you, along with JJ.

    ReplyDelete
  34. SNY - Thank goodness you are ok. Even in hospital you make us laugh... So glad that mini Edward was there to hold your hand. Thank god your blood didn't 'sing to him' else that could have been quite messy.

    Maybe the allergic reaction was from the 'Edwardtini's?'. Damn, I'll have to rethink the ingredients - ok, so maybe half the 6 different types of alcohol (shit,maybe not half, just a couple of ounces less), oh and mixer might help that and some ice cubes, just didn't want to water the taste down... hahaha

    Be careful of the steroids don't want a deep voice, two vagina's and a dick growing out of your forehead...

    But seriously, I'm glad you are ok. :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love your blog!
    Hope some of your readers and you would like to check out mine! :)
    http://leaverobpattinsonalone.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  36. Glad you are ok STY!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. LOL - you guys slay me! I swear we need to start a new blog just to post all of your comments - I hope everyone takes time to read them (I do even when I don't always have time to comment!) because you chicks [whore flaps??] are hysterical!

    A few random notes:

    @ Honolulu Girl, you win this round. I don't know if it will make either one of us - or anyone reading - but been there, done that (but didn't end up in the ER, so there's that, anyway).

    @ AcidAngel - good point... I have been tested for just about everything, and don't think ibuprofen triggered anything, but allergies are strange and don't always identify themselves easily. and I DID take one that morning, so... Oh and Alleve is naproxin, which is a whole different can of worms (it can trigger all sorts of weird stuff - even lurking manic dosorders and stuff like that - eek! I've seen it happen...).

    @ Anntastic - I always have benadryl on me! thankfully. i have a whole little "medicine chest" pouch. I think i could perform minor-ish surgery in a pinch.

    @latchkey wife - I would be lost without carmex. and rosebud salve. and about 10 other concoctions. i need help.

    @limey 1996 - if one of us sprouts a penis from anywhere we're all in big trouble - lol! even Mr. Snarky & ML... : )

    @sarah - i am kinda sad that my blood doesn't appeal, but i suppose it was for the best... {{{sigh}}}

    Thanks to everyone for their comedic (albeit real) concern - you're the best! Now I'd better get back to my steroid-induced frenzy of activity - wheee!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Holy Shit Girl!!!

    I've been in computer mahem world and didn't get to read this blog until now. I'm glad to hear that everything worked out and you managed to keep a sense of humor through your ordeal!

    I have a naproxin allergy and it was so scary when I first took it! I couldn't breath, felt like someone was sitting on my chest.

    I'm also finding that I have other random allergies that are starting to crop up...

    Like I break out in hives from the Sun... Not fun, it's usually happens the first time I'm in the sun for a couple of hours. You must remember that I'm some 90 miles from Forks and we get alot of rain!

    Oh and I'm allergic to Lamb, my dad wanted curried lamb chops for father's day one year. So I made them for him trying to be a good daughter (make up for all the shit that I put him through growing up) and for days afterward the palms of my hands and lips were so freak'n ichy it wasn't funny. I guess it would make a good lip plumper?!?

    ReplyDelete
  39. I just cannot express how I enjoy your posts though this one was scary! Glad you're OK! And glad you were not alone :) Now I want to have my own mini Edward too. Where can I get one? I'm left to my own devices for most of the time ( BF always away on business) and I feel so miserable.

    ReplyDelete
  40. thanks red bella!! and that's too weird that you are allergic to lamb - you probably know that it's considered to be one of the most "safe"/hypoallergenic foods, right?? go figure...

    TwiDazzled - not sure where they sell mnini-e but i got mine online - worth every penny! Google that little guy and get yourself one...

    : )

    ReplyDelete
  41. Glad you are ok STY!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. SNY - Thank goodness you are ok. Even in hospital you make us laugh... So glad that mini Edward was there to hold your hand. Thank god your blood didn't 'sing to him' else that could have been quite messy.

    Maybe the allergic reaction was from the 'Edwardtini's?'. Damn, I'll have to rethink the ingredients - ok, so maybe half the 6 different types of alcohol (shit,maybe not half, just a couple of ounces less), oh and mixer might help that and some ice cubes, just didn't want to water the taste down... hahaha

    Be careful of the steroids don't want a deep voice, two vagina's and a dick growing out of your forehead...

    But seriously, I'm glad you are ok. :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. It's a good thing Edward has been to medical school several times to help Carlisle, otherwise it might have gotten a little messy...

    Glad you're ok now. We need you and JJ to provides us with our regular Twitarted dose!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are our life now. Leave one!