Anyhoo, we all got to gather in the big ol' conference room and listened to some ex-FBI dude tell us what we should and shouldn't do in case some bad people try to bomb the city or release some kind of biological weapon into the air (Pstttttp - if you see things blowin' up... run like a mothertrucker - the other way).
I was thinking, since RPattz is in town that maybe he and I should get together so I can discuss what I've learned in this very informative seminar. It just may save his life!
First off, they're bringing back the duck and cover. Apparently, you're not supposed to run to the nearest window and totally rubber neck when you hear a massive explosion. Bummer. But, between you and me, I'll totally duck and cover with RPattz.
You are also, as I erroneously suggested during the meeting, NOT supposed to step over (or on!) an injured co-worker during an evacuation. Or kick them when they are down (in my defense, I didn't suggest this - another co-worker did).
Things got a little hinky after Coworker A offered to use Coworker P's head as a battering ram should we ever need to break down any doors but FBI dude took it all in stride. A cool character, that one. Though he did laugh when I told Coworker A I'd totally 'fireman carry' her down four flights of stairs, despite the fact that she's about ten inches taller than me and about 200 pounds heavier. I'm He-Man like that sometimes, ya know?
We had to explain to Mr. FBI Dude that we were taking this seminar seriously, despite our messing around. It's not our fault - we are infrastructure, which is the corporate equivalent to being a Baboon. We're loud, annoying and rude. If our company could find a way to keep us corraled on our floor, with no access to any other floors, they would. In fact, I'm pretty sure they'd make us go through the back entrance if they could get away with it.
** One of my coworkers walked by my
prison cell cube as I was taking this picture, gave me the squirrely eye, and said, 'you still playing with that damn doll? You fucking crazy.' Sigh. What makes this even funnier to me is that they don't know about this blog - they just think I'm doing it for my own amusement.