Friday, June 5, 2009

Twitarded Guest-Posts at Cullen Boys Anonymous!!

Damn. It's been a busy week for us here at Twitarded! Not only did we have a great interview over at The Volturi Approves when we were chosen as their Site of the Month, but we also got a Youtube mention over at ApplesnFeathers. But wait, there's more! What The Forks?! posted an email from an outraged Snarkier Than You, AND Cullen Boys Anonymous asked us to do a guest post on their site!!

That's right: head on over to Cullen Boys Anonymous to see the very first edition of "Guest Blogger Fridays" featuring none other than yours truly! This is going to be a weekly special guest spot where other Twilight-themed blogs will have a chance to strut their stuff. You can also check out their newly revamped site, as CBA recently took the leap from Blogger to web page and have all kinds of new bells and whistles!

Because it's been such a crazy week for us, we're thinking that perhaps there may be a few Twitarded virgins lurking around (it's ok!), and it is our personal goal to make sure your first time is a relatively painless experience (it still might hurt just a little bit, but in a good way).

Therefore, we've compiled a short-list of some of our favorite shenanigans. Whether it's mortifying ourselves at SXSW or coming to terms with our Twilight addiction, we've held nothing back. For better or for worse.

Which reminds me... I should warn you: Snarkier Than You and I are seriously lacking in certain areas of etiquette and social graces (well, I am, anyway, and I have been doing my best to corrupt STY), so if your delicate sensibilities get offended easily--or you're under 18--tread with care, or maybe not at all.

With that in mind, please enjoy some of our faves!
Edward's Adventures at SXSW

Is it Time for TwiHab???

The Controversy in Breaking Dawn - SPOILER!!

Edward Goes to the Trash Bar

Exclusive Breaking Dawn Sneak Preview! [Spoiler]
If you like what you see, leave a comment! Sign up to follow us! Or just come back and lurk every once in a while until you are ready to embrace your Twitardedness. We have a feeling you'll be back...


  1. Thanks for the primer, JJ. You ladies are funny.

    I didn't know I was Twitarded until very recently. *sigh* Glad to know I'm not alone.

    My inner high-school-goth-chick is raging. I guess it's the 20th anniversary of my 15th into 16th year, so it's only fitting. Back then I was lying in bed reading the Anne Rice books, and going to school in purple cotton velveteen suits...

    Sometimes a boy-meme comes along that's so intense, women of all ages throw their virtual panties and start screaming.

    Viva la revolucion,

  2. You girls do an amazing job with this blog, really!! You always make me lough, but the best thing is: i do not feel alone anymore:-)

    My favourite post is definitely "The Controversy in Breaking Dawn" - just great!! Don´t want to go into detail right know here ...

    But in " Is it Time for TwiHab??" you´re perfectly describe how my daily life changed since i got so horrible obsessed with all the Twilight stuff. In the beginning i was afraid of myself but then i found your Blog, hihi :-)) Good to know that there are other crazy people out there!

    So please just go one like this and make all of us so happy while reading your stuff!!

  3. Loved your guest post! And I too tend to walk out of restrooms with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose. WTF?? Glad I'm not alone!

    And, I will admit I have a hard time remembering the name of all the Volturi. Blasphemy, I know! But again, I'm glad to know despite my twilight obsession, I'm not the only one who has complete and utter brain fart when it comes to these things sometimes.

    I haven't commented in awhile, but I'm still lurking around and enjoying you ladies! Congrats on all your new found internet fame. :)

  4. You guys are just simply bloody brilliant! You crack me up everyday - thank you. :)

    Haha skirt stuck in pantyhose god isn't that just the most embarrassing thing? One of the girls at work completely forgot to pull her skirt down (it was still wrapped around her waist) so I had the friggin eye burning pleasure of telling her I could see her vag and crack alive, alive O - Friggin funny, just glad it wasn't me.

    One of my fav posts is - Robert Pattinson's Personality Explained.


  5. You ahem *ladies* "are my life now".
    You are both so hilarious and seriously say what everyone else is thinking!
    I came across your blog when lurking at Twicracks blog and the love custard comment I thought to myself.. 'whhhhaaaattt?!? So need to check into this further' and so I did and I haven't been disappointed since!!
    Congrats on what has been happening this week and all!
    Keep up the great & fabulous work! (man I sound like a job performance review)

  6. Great post JJ! I love all the weird looks I get while I sit at my computer and just laugh out loud!

    BTW: I agree STY, it does look like Mini E is using the coffee maker as a urinal...hahaha!

  7. I could not be happier that Twitarded has brought us all together. When you tell us that you didn't have anyone to share your obsession with - that nobody really "got it" - before stumbling upon us, it made me sad because I've always had my bff-enabler right there for me... I think if I had to deal with this on my own I would have burst! Or spent a LOT of time talking to the cat. One of those. So lurk, follow, comment, whatever! Have a good time with it. And then leave a comment & sign up, will ya'???
    : )

  8. Yeah for this site. Before I found you gals, I was commenting on Facebook twilight sites and so help me god if those comments ever popped up on Facebook's home page, I will personally murder (not really) the makers of Facebook. Anyhoo, on here. I can be free and twitarded and not need to take my meds..

  9. Hey you clit junkies (yep, I just received my very own copy of the literary genius that is "Creative Cursing.") And yes, you may have created a monster by introducing me to this book. First of all... hello? It's the cutest little book I ever did see and OMG, we were pissing our fucking pants at work today. Fun game... say someone's name in your office (who you don't like) ... for example, Kim is a ____ and randomly flip open the book. My boss came back as "cunt wrangler" - I fell to the floor!

    OK, sorry, I digress... this blog has been my saving grace. Not only an outlet for my sick obsession, but you ladies also bring out the foul-mouthed, dirty minded, Twislut that has been hiding for a loooong time! Thanks :)

  10. You two are my heros of the blog world! And any over-thirty-snarkyness-world for that matter. I've never left a comment before but believe me, I am here and am very appreciative of all that you and pocket Edward do for me.

  11. Thank you for the shout out for the youtube channel(ApplesnFeathers) and the message you sent the other day! You ladies rock! Looking forward to the next chapter and more knee slapping hilarity! Keep watching our videos!

  12. I know I've said this before but I never had any clue how many Twi-obsessed, foul mouthed, dirty minded women walking around with their skirts tucked into their panties out there. It really does make me all warm and gushy inside. It's nice to know we all can make ourselves at home around here!

  13. @JJ - You said it just right. There are tears in my eyes. ;)

    I heart my Twitarded friends, so very very much.

    And I am ever so grateful that Twitarded is so successful. It gives a person hope. YAY, WOOT & Hooray to the guest post. I can't wait to read it. :)

  14. JJ and STY:

    Congratulations on your ever-expanding sphere of influence!

    I love the anecdotal format and irreverent tone of twitarded (and I am a fairly recent convert, whom you had at "love custard").

    I also loved reading about the genesis of your friendship—it is, in fact, so difficult, especially as you grow older, to find and retain a dear friend, and even more challenging to meet, heaven forbid, a suitable mate.

    And now that, through the miracle of the Internet, I have met you, and feel, somehow, that we are like-minded online friends, I feel a friend's obligation to warn the pair of you about an impending danger—one whose almost inevitable arrival I have gleaned from the bent of your recent posts.

    And believe me, this danger will strike you with the force of a pandemic—a pandemic for which there is no cure, because no scientist in the world is seeking one.

    No female scientist, at any rate.

    I am speaking, of course, about the perils of Robert Pattinson.

    And I speak from experience, because long before I became functionally twitarded, I was afflicted with a terminal case of Robsession.

    (Please excuse me if I have been uncouth, by alluding to the name of another—also highly entertaining and addictive—blog.)

    For it was Rob who brought me to Twilight, not the other way around—Rob, in the form of Edward, whose literary acquaintance I likely never would have made, if it had not been for Rob's luminous, though erratic, performance—which was actually quite unlike the courtly, atavistic Edward of the books. (a subject for another day...)

    Ladies, if you value the remainder of your normalcy, do not watch a single, in-depth interview with Robert—guileless, laughing, charming, seductively clever Robert. For if you do, he will thereafter hold in his long, expressive, piano-stroking fingers the dense weight of your very souls.

    It is against the siren of Robert—Robert, not Edward, and not some preposterous combination of the two—Robert, as I said, against whose deadly English-accented allure my reason—my dignity? my sanity?—has lashed me to the mast.

    And here I struggle, where my ship has been wrecked—the rocks, I swear, sprang from nowhere, like retractable fangs—just off the shore of Isle Robinsane.

    And I can hear him laughing—at himself, at me?

    And is that really Robert Himself, lounging there, or another version of him, not necessarily famous, and a bit older, perhaps—10 years...okay, maybe 15...—in other words, a man even manlier, even more impossibly handsome?

    Is Robert Himself merely evidence that rare and mythically compelling men do exist—that he is not the only one, the last one—is he like a recent but blurry photo of a Tasmanian Tiger, long believed extinct?

    Is there a Regular Rob out there, waiting for me?

    For I can see someone, laughing from his perch on the rocks. And before him—how the hell did he GET that? from my dresser drawer? cheeky...—is a copy of my novel-in-progress, which he is reading so audaciously, licking his finger to moisten each page....

    So THAT is why he is laughing! And I swear, ladies, as he reads, I can see him glancing up at me, where I wrestle with the infernal ropes...I can see him smiling at times—and even blushing, peering across the water at me with a cocked eyebrow and an expression of bawdy surprise....

    And a few times, ladies, I watched so very closely as he scrubbed the tears from his eyes—and then how quickly he raked his fingers through his hair, as if that was all he had intended to do....

    And all the while, I have been scraping my bonds against splinters and errant nail heads, painstakingly wearing down each stubborn loop—uncoupling the ropes, one by one, until the frayed ends of the fibers fall onto the deck, like girlish blonde braids....

    And so I'm warning you: such a fate will meet you, too, when a Robert waits upon the shore.

  15. Ladies, love the blog. Read your guest blog and was left wondering...


  16. @ Mrs. Robinsane:

    That was quite possibly the most eloquent comment I have ever seen. And it made crack up!!

    STY and I are very lucky to have found each other, regardless of how much our significant others grumble and grouse.

    And we LOVE Robsessed here at Twilight.

    I have to admit, I was unaware of the Robert pull until after Twilight. But good grief is that boy fucking adorable, sexy, goofy, charming, hot, sexy, funny... but I don't need to tell you. ;)

    @want@binforks - I will admit, I am keeping a eye for any news. But I don't know if I could actually set-stalk or go up to him. I haven't quite decided yet.

  17. Ladies, love the blog. Read your guest blog and was left wondering...



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