In an auspicious concurrence of two noteworthy [to us, anyway] milestones, Twitarded is posting THIS, our 100th post, while almost simultaneously crossing the "50,000 visitors" mark. Yay us (and everyone who's helped us to get here)!
This might not seem particularly impressive, since we started the blog back in January, but let me just toot our own horn for a sec and point out a few things (like the obsessed blogger I am): in January and February combined, we had a grand total of 88 visitors. 87 of which were either JJ or me (the other person must have just been lost or something). It got to the point where we disabled our feedjit [aka the gadget that shows a running list of where a blog's visitors are coming from] because it was embarrassing to see nothing but the two of us constantly checking in to see if anyone else had bothered to read our stuff yet (they hadn't). In March, we averaged less than 75 visitors a day (not that we obsess over our stats. nope! not us!). So the other 48,000 (or so) of you have stopped by some time after that. And fine, fine, I know that this still isn't particularly impressive in the grand scheme of the TwiBloggy Universe, but it makes JJ and me very, very happy!!!
To celebrate, we're having a contest and giving shit away! That's right - we'll probably botch this somehow and it's possibly illegal in at least several states for some reason, but who cares?! We're a blog! We can do whatever we want because nobody will notice! Wheee!!!
Here's all you gotta do: we want to compile a list of "100 Ways Twilight Has Changed Our Lives" ("100" - get it?!), and we need your help. So send us your funniest observations! What has changed for YOU, for better or for worse, since you first cracked the spine on Twilight? We might not be able to use them all or credit the submissions when we post them (and let's face it, some of you read this blog in secret and don't want your name associated with us in any way), other than to say YOU helped make it happen, but we'd love to hear from you!
Here's the beginning of JJ's list! [thanks JJ!]:
Anyone who sends a response to Twitarded@gmail.com will be entered to win their choice of the prizes below! Please note that you have to send your response via email to Twitarded@gmail.com and NOT LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENTS (we can't contact commenters, sooo...). We'll choose one winner at random from the submissions we receive.
- I haven’t read a book that wasn’t about Twilight or vampires in nine months.
- ML can’t remember what I look like without the eerie glow of a computer monitor stuck in front of my face.
- I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard in my life. On a regular basis.
- I’ve learned it’s ok to have no shame or social filters.
- I almost feel like a cool kid on the block.
So what's in it for you? Let me confess up front that we don't have anything spectacular to offer as a prize... In the unlikely event that we'd somehow managed to get our hands on an autographed or exclusive anything related to Twilight, we'd be keeping it for ourselves. We love you all, but we're selfish, greedy bitches like that. At least when it comes to Twilight. Sorry! But at least we're honest, right? That said, who doesn't love free stuff? So what we ARE offering to the winner is your choice of the following swell items:
The Secret Language of Birthdays book - in mint condition except for some minor slobber and wine stains on the 'May 13' pages [jk!]. This is an awesome (and huge!) coffee-table-worthy hardcover book! Plus you can actually show this to people and they won't think you're weird (or they'll think you're less weird than if you try to show them, say, your Twilight Edward action figure). It's a great conversation piece at a party - you can even have friends sign "their day" if you want! Besides, isn't that pile of Twilight merchandise you keep hidden in your closet taking up enough space as it is??? As an added bonus, you'll be able to re-read "The Day of Natural Appeal" over and over and over again at your leisure.
A collection of Twilight-inspired perfume sprays (and a small body lotion) made by Essence of Twilight. Essence of Bella,* Edward, Alice, and Jacob. I have no idea what possessed me to buy this stuff, since I'm not a perfume fan (and that is a HUUUGE understatement You can read about it here!). Er, I am sure it seemed like a great idea at the time... And then it arrived and I remembered that I don't wear perfume. Oops! All I can say is maybe it's time to have a breathalyzer installed on my computer. Includes four 2 oz. sprays + a 1 oz. "Promise" scent body lotion. In a fit of Twilight-scent-induced hysteria, JJ and I sprayed each of these once or twice before I realized the error of my ways.
*Note: If you cover yourself in a cloud of "Essence of Bella" and suddenly Robward materializes at your side, I want it back. Immediately. Edward action figure not included!
A copy of the Twilight dvd from Amazon.com (two-disc version). I know that all of you probably own at least one copy, but maybe not everyone does and either way, it's always smart to have a back-up copy just in case your S/O "accidentally" drops yours in the garbage disposal in a vain attempt to momentarily regain your attention. I ordered too many copies of the dvd and was too lazy to return this, OK? New/sealed.
To recap plus some rules & stuff:
- Send your brief/succinct, funny (or tragic...) thoughts on "Ways Twilight Has Changed My Life" to Twitarded@gmail.com
- We'll pick one random winner from the entries we receive, and they can pick one of the items listed above as their prize.
- If you would like to be credited in a group "Thanks!" when we put together the follow-up post, tell us what name to use and we'll try. But we're not making any promises.
- Submissions accepted now through Friday June 12th.
- Open to 18-and-older residents of the U.S. only (sorry Canada - I don't know your customs regulations!).