Saturday, June 6, 2009

What's YOUR Twilight Vampire Name???

Image from here.

It's the weekend and I know that everyone's probably off at a weenie roast or heading down the shore [we live in Jersey - we go "down the shore," not "to the beach"] or T-ball practice or something, but c'mon: you know you still need a quick Twilight fix to keep you going. Admit it! Or maybe you have a few minutes to kill while waiting for the next bit of Twi-news or smokin' Robward pic to hit the net? Well boy oh boy I have a found just the thing for you! It's totally worth the fifty seconds of time suckage it can offer you... Don't you want to know what your Twilight Vampire name is??? Of course you do! So navigate your busy self over to the Twilight Vampire Name Generator, and in ten seconds flat, you'll be done (even if you have a long name, are a "hunt-and-peck" typist, or both).

What's your Twilight name??? Snarkier Than You is "Rosalie Stanley" (wtf?!) and I'm "Renée Ateara" - grrrrreeeaaatt...- I'm a stinky werewolf! [note from STY: I always knew there was something not right about that girl...]

Want something a little more traditional??? Well then head on over to The Vampire Name Generator and find out a little bit about your old-school vampire self.

Here's what it had to say about me:
The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity: Empress of Drac

Known in some parts of the world as: Bast of The Highway Thieves [wtf?!]

The Great Archives Record: Takes more than gold from the rich on the highway - takes blood too.
And about STY's ancient vampy self:
The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity: Poppy Pope [Whaaa?!]

Known in some parts of the world as: Artemis of The Balkans [note from STY: I'm the virgin huntress of the Balkens?? Cool!]

The Great Archives Record: An animal-like vampire who can barely speak [aka "Snarkier after a few drinks - lol!] - everything is actions with this one. It runs with the deer. [note from STY - Does this mean Edward's gonna chase me through the woods and catch me mid-air and have his way with me?! Wheee!!!]

Don't wanna get all Dungeons and Dragons with it but still want a cool vampire name? Then try THIS site for an entirely different traditional-but-not-quite-as-ancient vampy moniker! My name here is "Tessa Iceshard." Maybe I have spent too much time recently flipping through the Curse Generator, but this sounds dirty to me somehow. Like it's my 14th century nordic porn-star name or something... STY is "Churel Ghostfire" here (if you can think of something clever to say about that, go for it; I'm at a loss).

Still have a sec? On a somewhat similar yet entirely not-Twilight-related note (giving a nod to STY's love of mod Scandinavian/Danish furnishings), how would you like to know your Swedish Furniture Name?? Snarkier is SNÅRKYÖRD TJANVIK YÖU and I'm JENII SVERKFÄSS. If you were on the shelf at IKEA, what would your name be??? And between you and me, I think these names would be perfectly cromulent as our "Scandinavian Vampire Names" - and you saw the Cullen house in Twilight - you know how much they like that mid-century modern look!

Snarkier Than You's dream house (bonus if it comes complete with Cullens!)

39 comments:

  1. I am official Angela Cullen. :)

    Which honestly I like more than Angelique Tussaud, however apparently I am known around the world for "wraith of the flesh" and my greatest archives record is "a sensual one who knows the flesh and knows the blood."

    Hum. I think I'd rather be Angela Cullen, who knows a certain someone's flesh and blood.

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  2. HOLY MOTHER OF MONKEY BALLS! I am "Carmen Volturi" which is freaky cause according to the book, I look like Carmen... *insert the Twilight Zone msuic here*...
    lol.

    Also, on the other one I am:
    The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Empress of Blood.
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Thief of The Steely Moon.
    The Great Archives Record:
    A child of the Moon Goddess - Cold, determined, but of the light in the night.

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  3. Hmm...mine is Isabella Swan--not very original! But I'll take it because that means I get to give all my lovin' to Edward! :)

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  4. Here's mine:

    The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:

    Empress of Moldovia

    Known in some parts of the world as:

    Haunt of The Flesh
    The Great Archives Record:

    A sensual one who knows the flesh - and knows the blood.


    *blushes*

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  5. Twilight name: Charlotte Cheney
    Other name :The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Sultana of The Arctic
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Curse of The Crows
    The Great Archives Record:
    Intelligent, knowing, wise and shrewd. This winged one was cast from the firmament.
    and last "Willow the Cruel"...That sounds about right!!!

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  6. Isabella Clearwater! I'll take it, even if I am half-wolf. At least I'm Bella. ;)

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  7. Shit Yeah, I'm Isabella Cullen Holla!! I have nothing more to say, thank you very much for the link, I am pleased with my Twilight name.

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  8. My twilight name is "Isabella Black". Was hoping to be a vampire! Rats! I am team Edward.

    My vampire name is "Marchioness of the Ghastly" aka "Scourge of the Hungry." I had to find the definition of marchioness. It the the wife or widow of a marquis. FYI.

    Thanks for sharing the fun links!

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  9. My Twilight Vamp Name is: Tanya Newton... what the fuck? That sucks ass chunks! Newton? What a joke! OK, I hate my Twilight Vamp name.

    The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Sorceress of Drac
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Poison of The Tormented
    The Great Archives Record:
    A soul in torment and tumult - hell of their own making!

    Now that one I can live with. It makes me sound super bad ass like I just wanna fucking rip someone's head off (which is how I feel most of the time anyways...)

    Oh and my Vampire Name on Facebook is: Tatania Black (Jeeeeesus, it sounds like some sort of disease!)

    Course, nothing is better than my (Facebook) stripper name: Star RazorDazzle (ya, baby!)

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  10. Isabella Newton (WTF?) I guess I'm mortal... That sucks...

    Guinevere Shakespeare
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Mistress of Blood
    The Great Archives Record:
    Thirsty, unstoppable and vicious.
    Sounds about right...

    Mariska Black This sounds like a twilight name doesn't it??? But it's from the vampire generator .net I'd rather be a warewolf than mortal....

    DEBJI WOÖD My Swedish Furniture name..... Bwaa Ha Ha...

    Ah that was fun!

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  11. OMFG I love shit like this!

    OK--here goes:

    Twilight Name: Isabella Swan...So, so happy for obvious reasons.

    Ancient Vampire Name: Marion Oleander aka Lilith of Gypsies. A traveller of travelers, of good humour but dangerous.....So, love these as well--the description fits me to a tee--ha!

    More traditional vampire name: Kali Fargloom...most excellent as well.....almost sounds like a Harry Potter name though.

    And, the best for last, my Swedish furniture name is Svitamynnr....I fully expect to be addressed by all of the above from now on....or maybe just my Swedish furniture name--ha!

    @JJ: I think Tessa Iceshard takes the cake--that name just freakin' rocks.

    @STY: I think you got screwed with Poppy Pope and need to re-enter your name with slight modifications in the hopes of a better result ;)

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  12. TwilightobsessedMamaJune 6, 2009 at 11:08 PM

    Carmen Cullen is what I got at the Twilight Vampire Name Generator - SCORE I get to be Cullen!!!

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  13. I'm Jessica Hale! So I'm airhead but I get to be with Jasper so SCORE!
    My other name:The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity: Poppy Maundrell(sounds like Barbara Mandrell with flowers)

    Known in some parts of the world as:Haunt of Bats and Shadows

    The Great Archives Record:
    Slipping amongst the shadows, flitting between dark places, always quiet.(CREEEPY!)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cool blog thanks girlies! Hope I get this right because just got home after having quite a few "Soco's and Lime"... Yummy!

    Twilight name: Carmen Clearwater?! WTF?!?!

    Great Archives Identity: Marion Arnauld

    Known in some parts of the world as: Minerva of Gypsies

    Great Archives Record: A traveller of travellers of good humour, great power but dangerous.

    Ok, so being the bloody dork I am I put in RPattz name just for the hell of it...

    Twilight name: Jacob Newton

    Great Archives Identity: Maharaja of Trannsylvania

    Known in some parts of the world as: Him of Seducers (I kid you not!!)

    Great Archives Record: Beautiful, alluring hiding great power and great danger..

    Too funny! :)

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  15. @Limey_1996: New code name for RPattz--Him of Seducers--love it! For short: HOS

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  16. Me and Jenny Jerkface are related! I'm Maria Ateara (which is just lame because my first name is really Maria). Maybe me and Jenny Jerkface are like Quil's polygamous post-pubescent wives, since you know, Claire is an infant and that shit's illegal.


    Josette Spenser
    Aphrodite of The Vile
    Vile, foul, filthy and greedy: this creature knows nothing of light. [in bed]

    Actually just add "[in bed]" to the end of all of these and they are sooooo much better

    ReplyDelete
  17. Twilight vamp name: Maria Stanley

    ICK! Am I horrible that I don't remember whose character had the last name Stanley?! Who ever it is, I hate them.

    The other site was cooler and said my name was Josette Beau Pre. Niiiccccceee.

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  18. I'm Alice Cullen, which fits perfectly since well... I am Alice lol

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  19. My Vampy twilight name? I apparantly am Bella's sister, Lauren Swan.. As my name is actually Laura, I thinks it's okay.. 'specially if Edward ever gets a new brother!

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  20. My name is Rosalie Dwyer, I like it! I'm gonna use it.

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  21. Who knew this would be so much fun! LOL!

    @Red_Bella - your Scandinavian name sounds like a porn name, lol.

    @Limey_1996 - All I have to say... fucking brilliant. Him of the Seducers. Too perfect.

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  22. Hilarity!

    I'm Emily Cullen

    Vampire Name Gen:
    Marchioness of the Underworld

    Known in some parts as:
    Bitch of the Howling Wolves (HA!)

    Hot of blood and running wild with the hungry wolves. (too bad I'm not Team Jacob)

    My Ikea name:
    SLISBET GUYLLORNDÖRD

    fun!

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  23. Hey Twitarded Ladies, I found a website today that had me thinking of you girls! It is a ramdon Curse Word Generator...I stopped at "penis bagel" because I was laughing so hard... the site is http://www.beefchoad.com/Home.html it is too fun! -Ms M

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  24. Thanks again JJ & STY so cool! haha

    @VitaminR- Great definatley "HOS" for short. haha

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  25. I am now Isabella Mallory

    I have to say I kinda like it. Do I get to go sleep with a Pillow Biter now?

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  26. Alice Stanley, thats mine. urmmmm does this mean me and STY r sisters?

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  27. I am officially an Isabella Volturi...weird.
    Oh--and I live 'down the shore' in Jersey. This is my LEAST favorite time of year here...which is why we are moving...FAR AWAY...unfortunately also, we are moving to an entirely too sunny area of the country..no hopes for Cullen sitings there!

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  28. So I did my Twilight Vampire Name- I am Alice Cullen.....umm...ok, I don't see the future. How unoriginal is that?

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  29. I am apparently Rosalin Pappilon. Huh...I like it.

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  30. Oops, it would help if I actually read the entire blog. I did mine and my name now is....

    Katrina Cheney. How very..human. Thats a let down.

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  31. @Jayme, i love the whole "HOLY MOTHER OF MONKEY BALLS!" hahaha its hilarious..ok so here is my Twilight name:
    Jessica Clearwater ...
    which really pisses me off because i really hate Jessica! lol she is so fake and stupid and ewww! lol haha
    The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Giselle d'Angoulême
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Kiku of The Steely Moon
    The Great Archives Record:
    A child of the Moon Goddess - Cold, determined, but of the light in the night.
    ..
    but i really like that one! hahah its really...cool! ahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  32. Woah Isabella Weber .. So Angela's and Bella's name XD gahhhhhhh
    Coool I think

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  33. i am deaf but i am royal blood about my is The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Maharani of Drac
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Poison of The Cursed
    The Great Archives Record:
    The cursed and the curser - bringing downfall and ill favour to kings and peasants alike!

    ReplyDelete
  34. i'm Isabella Newton wow

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  35. I did my Twilight Vampire Name- I am Isabella Newton I promise Edward and Carlisle Cullen I will adopt you.

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  36. Had to post mine coz I pretty much snorted when I read it
    The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Chastity Raven [Chastity? Really? Bahahaha]
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Demeter of Wraiths [c my mind changes Demeter to dementer. I'm also an LOTR fan. So I dement the wraiths? The Nazgul? Cool!]
    The Great Archives Record:
    A needy and violent spirit. [Needy AND violent? Not a good combo. Supose I'm needy for my Rob lovin and would b violent if anutha twitard stood in my way. not really. I'll just take Jackson if sum1 else wants Rob badly enuf]

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  37. The Great Archives determine you
    to have gone by the identity:
    Countess of Scandanavia
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Mother of The Winged Death
    The Great Archives Record:
    Comes on silent wings in the night and wraps a deadly cloak about the victim; impartial as a die, unyielding as stone.

    ReplyDelete
  38. i am deaf but i am royal blood about my is The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
    Maharani of Drac
    Known in some parts of the world as:
    Poison of The Cursed
    The Great Archives Record:
    The cursed and the curser - bringing downfall and ill favour to kings and peasants alike!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Woah Isabella Weber .. So Angela's and Bella's name XD gahhhhhhh
    Coool I think

    ReplyDelete

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