Sunday, July 26, 2009

Bite Me, Two-Column Blog... Twitarded Goes Three-Column!

Are you sure you guys know what you're doing?!

When we started this blog back in January, we didn't have many bells & whistles. And honestly, we still don't have a ton of widgets and graphics and gifs. For the sake of full disclosure, we don't even really know what a gif is, but suffice it to say that we're not going to send your computer into cardiac arrest when you come to our page. But even keeping things reasonably low-key, we've been running out of room on the right side of the page and the open space on the left side (which you can't utilize in Blogger's default two-column format) had steadily progressed on the tantalize-0-meter to the point where it hit "Bella's blood that day in science class" epic proportions.

Sadly, we couldn't figure this three-column thing out. True to Twitarded form, we apparently had some sort of wonkiness in our format or htlm coding that had even our most tech-savvy friends throwing up their hands in despair and declaring that we were shit out of luck. "Can't be done!" they proclaimed when we told them we desperately needed more space to tack up the latest Twilight & Robward news, helpful widgets, and an assortment of other stuff we like and think you guys might enjoy.

JJ - who is by far the more technically proficient of the two of us (which is still pretty low on the tech meter, sadly) - took several stabs at it, but the sum of her valiant efforts amounted to nothing more than many futilely squandered hours, a popped blood vessel or two, and a post that will never see the light of day entitled "I FUCKING HATE BLOGGER."

Thankfully, we've got some fantastic bloggy buddies who are always more than willing to selflessly lend a hand when we find ourselves waaaaaay out of our techno-league.

Enter Latchkey Wife of Ramblings of a Latchkey Wife fame & notoriety. She didn't know what a three-column blog was initially but was clearly more adept at resolving technical problems then we are here at Twitarded. I lamented that it had been the bane of our bloggy existence (one of several, actually) and we were at a complete loss. Lo and behold, not more than a few hours had passed before Latchkey reported back in that she was now the proud owner of a three-column blog [what. the. fuck. SO. unfair.], and she was kind enough to pass along the info she had used to make the transition.

Now, don't get me wrong: JJ had worked herself up into a lather on several occasions following similar instructions with no success, but she was determined and willing to give it another shot. If any of you were getting your Twitarded fix a few hours back and suddenly the blog went absolutely haywire (it was ugly for a moment there, believe us!), well, all I can say is that you'll inevitably have a period of trial and error when you are trying something new and there were definitely a couple of moments today where "error" had the upper hand.

After tweaking a few things, however, JJ was able to bring you the wonderfulness that is our brand-spanking-new three-column layout. I could have kissed her!!! And not only because people say she looks like Robert Pattinson - it was almost entirely because she knows how to make stuff GO. And who doesn't need a bff like that?!

So thanks to JJ and extra-special thanks to Latchkey Wife who we may or may not have been promised unspeakable, scandalous favors in return for her techy support! I'll put JJ on the next shuttle to your neck of the woods - just promise to send her back relatively unscathed at some point, OK? I need her.

P.S. In a rare instance of JJ and I not agreeing 100% on something bloggy-related (or otherwise, for that matter - we really are morphing into one being, but more on that topic some other time), there has been some debate recently regarding Twitarded's layout/look. How do YOU like the black background with white text? Is is awesome? Do you think it's the greatest thing since Twilight, RPatts and his sex-hair, and TwiPorn came into your life or does it leave you dizzy and feeling like your retinas have been scorched like they haven't been scorched since we posted about the anatomically correct one-of-a-kind "Renesmee and Jacob On Their Wedding Day" dolls we found on eBay several months back? Like we've said in the past, Twitarded's not a democracy and we're not promising a "majority rules" outcome to this, but we'd genuinely like to hear your feedback so we can decide if we need to make some changes.

Sorry to include you in our relatively boring bloggy operations, but we're kinda all family here (a big, dirty, scandalous family), and we like to keep you up to speed on what we're up to. Just remember that we have the right to pull the "Because I said so!" card and do what we want when it's all said and done.

I promise some random funniness tomorrow! Because Monday sucks and not in the good vampy kinda way, either.

47 comments:

  1. I completely love the new look, and the white on black is sexy hot. Don't change a thing! Thanks for being my homepage.

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  2. i love the colors! don't change it! love you guys!

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  3. Moving on up with the 3 columns! It looks great! And as for the black background/white text - it doesn't scorch my retinas. And it's not quite as awesome as RPattz, sex hair and Twiporn, but REALLY - what is? :)

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  4. The three columns look just great! and the posting space is wider now... Like that too!

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  5. I love the three column look! We wanted that for our blog in the beginning but damn it we just aren't that tech savvy! I've always loved your color schemes the black, white, and blue works! I say stick to what you know and what you're comfy with.

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  6. Well first... Love the three column! And I dont mind the balck and white i mean its not the greatest thing in the world but i do like it.

    And NO that was not boring or whatever you said, i also like to think that we're all kind of a big twilight family too and i love to hear bout everything you girls are up to even if it is techincal stuff! And this post was hilarious too as always! =D

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  7. I like the black and white, but the blue links on the sides throw me off. I feel like I walked into a halloween blog everytime I get my Twitarded fix. I think red would be cool :) Just throwing my opinion out there, since you asked for it and all.
    -W

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  8. maybe you could have more topaz on the blog ;P i kid, i kid its alll good

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  9. The simplicity of the site is what makes it awesome! Besides, once you start getting all fancy it just becomes more troublesome with browser compatibility, different screen resolutions, and whatnot.

    Buuuuuut if you're ever in need of graphics or color scheme advice I'd be glad to help!

    Check out my Twilight/Robward love in my DeviantArt: http://forapessimist.deviantart.com/

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  10. WTG on the 3 columns! I lurve it like rpatz. The black on white with blue is total twitarted's sig look, so don't change it....and careful who you give your blog password to. My friend who molests my shadesward, revamped my blog.... I know it toats lookes like it had some bad italliano and blew twilight chunks all over it but, it's all good. Whatevs.

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  11. NO, NO, NO!!!! Don't even think about changing the black/white!!! I love it that way! I mean, I absolutely love TWITARDED (it's the DEFAULT HOMEPAGE on my laptop, DUH!) but having it permanently burned in the back of my eyeballs...I rather Have a ROBWARD burned FOREVER in my brain! I actually even read fanfic on ff.net in the same black/white scheme as you have it. Brain resists more hours of reading this way.

    Love u guys, srsly!!

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  12. Wait....what did it look like before?
    :-D

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  13. Colors are fine. Just don't to the Twilighted thing and have a small busy pic repeated as your background, talk about eye strain.

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  14. Loving the three columns & love the layout! Don't change a thing! It's my homepage too!

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  15. loving the new look!

    and how in the world did i miss that post in the dolls? now i'm going to have nightmares ;)

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  16. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the New Moon clips from Comic Con!

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  17. Hey Twats' I lurve ya all.3 collumns, 2 collumns WTF? Jst dont stop blogging. All I need every morning is a shot of coffee, some sludgy cereal and some serious quality time with the Twitarded!

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  18. A big giant YAY! for 3 column-y goodness!

    My thoughts on colour schemes. Leave the black and white - it's tradmark, to change it to anything else is as blasphemous as Jacob and Bella ending up together.

    If I could however do one thing to your blog. It would be to take the list of awesome peeps that you love and just make it a list. It's uber-long with all the updates and visually distracting. But that could just be me.

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  19. Hey! Thanks for the shout out! I'm so glad you finally made it happen. And I like the color scheme - don't change a thing!

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  20. i love the 3 columns and i LOVE the black with white text (for us color blind folk, its fabu!)

    and thanks for letting us all be part of your big, scandalous family :)

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  21. the new 3 column layout looks awesome! And please don't change the black background with white text.. your site is one of the easiest to read right now and it looks great. I love the simplicity of the site.. i hate sites that have too many animated/flashy/scrolling things, they make me (and my computer) want to have a seizure. Keep up the good work ladies!

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  22. Well, it would appear the twi-masses have spoken! Undoubtedly, STY is doing a little I-told-you-so jig right now because I was the one who suggested changing the black/white background for better reading-ness (it's a word now if wasn't before, dammit). But I promise I won't touch a thing (unless STY pisses me off, then I'm going to plaster little kittens all over the background or something).

    Admittedly, I'm rather fond of the black/white and would have been sad to see it go.

    And you all will never have to worry about us clogging up this site with bells and whistles because we will never figure out how to do that, anyway. :)

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  23. Rock on, JJ & STY! Looks fine to me.

    Did you guys get my email re: the pins? If you need anything different, just let me know (I also sent 2 jpgs of that design for web use...) 'cause I'm ready to roll whenever.

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  24. I'm unfashionably late to the party as usual, but I'll put my vote in for the black background. I love it. It makes it harder for anyone walking by to easily see what I'm reading.

    And I wasn't sure about the 3-column thing at first. I thought it all looked a little mooshed together and ocular claustrophobia began to set in. Then I realized that it made it even MORE difficult for nosy passers-by (I'm looking at YOU, hot medical records guy...probably more than I should, actually) to see what I'm reading. It makes the whole effect that much more subversive, and I salute you for it!

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  25. Looks great!
    Congrats!

    Three Cheers for Latchkey Wife!

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  26. twitarded is my LYFE (not life, but LYFE, which is 10 times more gangster than its predecessor.)

    i fully support the white-on-black, and i congratulate you on your three column layout endeavor!

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  27. Love it, love you. Simple as that.

    I totally agree it looks super sexy with the black background. I read all my fanfic.net smut with the black background....we all know you have alway been going for the super sexy look.

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  28. woot three columns! i like the black and white. i even like the blue links, its not the annoying bright ass blue that most links end up being. i say dont change a thing!

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  29. Yay for three columns! So jealous to you for figuring it out as I want to as well. Way to take the plunge!

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  30. so i click on the link to check out the new post, and b4 i start to read it, im like "WTF, its different!" it threw me off, i almost clicked off the page, but then saw the woderfullness that is the twitarded banner.

    i think it looks awesome, the new layout. and as far as changing anything up, i wouldnt care, as long as you ladies keep writing you amazing posts!!! although i am partial to the black background

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  31. I generally dislike white on black blogs as they do tend to strain the eyes after a while, but for this site it genuinely works. I don't mind the blue links either - it's all part of your charm. I love the three columns, it's easier to navigate and looks cleaner.

    If you ever get more techno-prowess powers, feel free to move the right column (with the links) over to the right a few more pixels to give some breathing room to the main column of text. You've got room to spare on the right so it should all fit fine.

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  32. I came to visit today and before I even saw your new post title I was like WOW 3 Columns! Way to go twitards! Plus, like eveyone else, the B&W just does it for me...screams Twitarded-ness!

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  33. So totally unrelated...but that is how I roll...I noticed your Alltop button and clicked to see wtf it was all about and WHAT THE HELL I am on there too....*patting my self on back and sending pats your way* Who knew?! Don't really know what the heck the site is but who cares I am on it! And so are you! HA! Maybe U will put a button on my site too...you just never know!

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  34. The color scheme works for me and your site as a simplicity that just keeps me coming back (I'm not talking about the post, of course!). Sites with a lot of colors, info, blinking, sounds, get a total of 3 secs of my attention (the time it takes for me to close said page).


    As for three columns it make it look tidier :) but, I don't know why but I see them all quite together, so I would have to agree with Tatiana in moving a few pixels from the main column text; the right and left column are almost touching it...

    Thanks for asking.

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  35. Where you read "your site as a simpl..." please read "your site has a..." Sorry.

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  36. Very nice! Three columns are great. Since the eye naturally goes to the upper right side of any page, you'll want to put the most important stuff there. (Design 101) ;)

    People like simple. I prefer white w/dark writing but that's just me. Although, Twilight is a bit darker, so its themey w/out being overwhelming.

    Fyi I eat, breathe and sleep Twil...er, design, templates, css/html. I've designed my own blog graphics and have been tweaking templates/designing for yrs.

    You can catch me on twitter 'beedivine' or blog that's if you need me. (And free, really, can you pass that up?)

    FTR, Rob looks good on blinky, popup, pumpkin orange pages, I'm just saying.

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  37. Love the blog, three column and no need to do anything further. I just care about the content which I LOVE.

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  38. Don't change it, pretty please with sugar on top. I love that my two favorite blogs (Twitarded and Latchkey Wife) are white on black.

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  39. Fine the way it is. Love the banner - when can we get T-shirts with that logo and some Twitarded-appropriate smartass saying on the front? Pleeeease.... - Suz

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  40. love the white on black background, too. and your link color is great! it's so awful when ppl use lime or red on black - those colors make my eyeballs want to spin in their sockets! your blog is perfectly 'tarded.

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  41. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the feedback!

    Now we've thought it over and decided we're gonna make Twitarded hot pink text on a flashing lime green background - with sparkles! - and you're all gonna have seizures or something...

    I kid, I kid...

    As JJ noted earlier, I like our current look and haven't really felt compelled to change it much. I'm an "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kinda chick, I guess!

    That said, those of you who had the poor judgment to offer technical support, you'll definitely be hearing from us. Mwahahaha... Put on your techie thinking beanies and tell us how to make the left-side-column move a tad to the left and the right-side-column move a hair to the right. There's wiggle room in there and I'd like to open up a tiny bit more space around the center column without giving JJ a coronary or embolism or any of that stuff... We might have to let her recover from the three-column transition for a day or two but rumor has it she'll have time on her hands in the next month to tinker to her heart's content.

    : )

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  42. Isn't 3-column the best? So good for those of us trying to whore our sites out for advertising pennies-a-year...not that I'm talking about mine or anything...

    Definite nay on the black background white text (unless you're a photo blog). It's pretty much the first rule of reader-friendly blogging. This guarantees that I will only be viewing Twitarded goodness through my reader and never visiting the site again. In fact, I'm in pain just writing these comments ::crying::

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  43. Doesn't this look bloody lovely. I'm so technically challenged it just isn't funny, so my hats off to you girlies.

    As for your colors - Like it, love it, leave it!

    :D

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  44. Hey, STY!

    I'm emailing you....

    :)

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  45. Green with envy over the 3-column layout. Lucky bitches. I'm too scared to even try...pretty sure I'd take down half the 'net if I started messing with HTML and whatnot.

    We'll just continue to stuff 10 lbs of Robtaters in a 5lb bag ;)

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  46. Hi
    Very nice and intrestingss story.

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