Monday, July 27, 2009

Mini-Edward: Pet-Sitter Extraordinaire + "The Furminator" PSA

Note to my friends: SURE!!! I'll be happy to house-sit/pet-sit/plant-sit while you are away... But I never travel solo and there's a good chance some part of the experience will end up on the blog. I mentioned that, right? Hmmmm... I am sure I mentioned that... Oh, I didn't? Oops. In my defense, I work cheap - just bring me back booze from wherever you went! - and I am reasonably discreet and will never post the contents of all those drawers and "secret" hiding places [really - are you even trying?]. I kid, I kid - I didn't rifle through your stuff OR plaster your home with Twilight/Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson merch... And don't think I wasn't tempted to Twilify the place just 'cause you're not fans - I am always tempted!

Anyway, this is Bennett.

Bennett never sits still and it took about 100 tries to get this semi-non-blurry pic...

I usually call Bennett "Nermal" - I realize I am SO dating myself but I am older than Garfield and his unwanted sidekick Nermal... Nermal was preternaturally cute, peppy and kitten-like. So is Bennett! She's like a cross between Nermal and one of those little fluffy-googlie-eyed-pull-toys-on-a-string that they used to sell in gumball machine but I CANNOT remember what they were called to save my life.

Oh, and you DON'T want to do a google image search for "fluffy thing on a string" because man oh man I looked at a LOT of thinner-than-thread pieces of nothing all stuffed into hot ladybits trying to find it for you. And I came across THIS monstrosity, for those of you gals who think that three grams of knitwear is too much fabric and makes your hoo-hoo, taint, and nether regions feel all claustrophobic. Click on the pic if you dare and don't say I didn't warn you. JJ, when's your birthday again? [JJ's note - I will hurt you if you purchase... what the hell IS that? A headband for your vagina?][Response from STY - according to Geekologie it's "the best thing to happen to underwear since not wearing any. Each vagina-band costs about $26 and is guaranteed to turn heads. And, also, my shoe camera."]

Er... Moving on... Getting back to cats [yes, I am aware I am missing a golden segue opportunity here, and no, I am not going there] -

Bennett is about five pounds of fuzz - the cutest, softest, most squirmy and lovable cat ever. She does the happy dance when she hears you approaching the front door... And on my advice, Bennett's people had bought her "The Furminator" - aka "The Best Thing to Happen to Cat Brushes In History" - hands-down, the most amazing thing I have ever bought for my cat. And Bennett agrees, as does my fur-baby Quato (who is doing OK-ish for a 14-year-old spoiled-rotten almost-child - thanks everyone for asking - and Limey I looove the word "moggy"!). If you own furry creatures [aside from your S/Os], you need this brush. It ain't cheap, but do a google search and you'll find it for cheaper than the $50-$60 some chains are charging. I got mine at for $25 (it was on sale). I think I got the dog-size brush, but my cat is, um, "not tiny" (she's big-boned!) [JJ's note - if she was human she'd totally get stuck in an H&M dress]. I was amazed with how much fur it took off of Quato, and I won't shut up about it because it was a gazillion times better than any comb/brush/grooming tool I have ever used and totally worth the steep price tag (I love her to bits but Quato is a dusty ol' cat and Mr. Snarky is allergic, but he was the one who picked her up off the street when she was a tiny feral kitten so...).

Mini-Edward and I chilled out for a a bit, reading Eclipse and brushing Bennett... After a little while, we stopped (brushing, not reading) because we were afraid that if we kept brushing we might run out of cat. Seriously, I am not sure what's under all that fuzz but I think "not much" is accurate:

Be careful, Edward! I see twitchy-tail behind you! It's an ambush!!!

Anyway, I don't have any fiscal interest in the company and nobody is paying me to write nice things about it (yet...) - it's just that good and I wanted to share. Buy it. Really.

Furminator kitty demo:

Furminator dog demo:


  1. Ohhhhhhh..... I lurv the furminator, I have one for my pups and it's the cat's ass...

    With seven siberian huskies running around the property, come spring the fur flies around here.

    Oh, I'm just too chicken to click on that link. That's just scary!!!!

    I laughed so hard I stared crying at headband for your vagina....

  2. ...... just think, if there was ever a 5th twi-book edward could buy one for jake,lol

    @STY~ by the way.... i love this word: Twilify

  3. LOL - Jake TOTALLY needs one of these! I can't believe I didn't think of the wolf-pack tie-in - D'oh!

    In my defense, it's Monday (er, or it was until a few minutes ago) and this day totally kicked my ass. JJ's too, because she read it and she didn't think of that, either.

    And Red Bella - of course you own one - or several - how could you not with your own wolf pack???

    : )

  4. Ok i'm seriously going to have to get one for my furbaby C.C. cause she is always a hot mess! Thanks for posting this STY!

  5. The amount of fur coming off those pets seriously was scary. I'm thinking I need to check this out for my greyhound babies. The one has decided that she needs to sleep with me and the dog hair is all over the bed now...yuck!

    Oh, and Bitches had to come take care of my babies the other night and I'm glad she didn't Twilify my place...although I think I did a good job of Twilifying my bedroom on Sunday, hehe.

  6. Mini E has such great adventures even on what seems like would be a mundane day of pet sitting. It makes me contemplate my own Mini E- but I think DH would flip the fuck out!!

    I may get that furminator- one dog has alopecia (don't make fun of him, he's bucking for world's ugliest dog when he gets older) and one doesn't shed (think he's part poodle) but of course the smallest of all 3 sheds like a MO FO!

    veri word- "frove" is that love of the 'fro ?

  7. am i the only one who thinks the furminator looks kinda (a lot) like some kind of demented dildo?

    omg. vagina headband. i just...don't know what to say. haha!

  8. @STY--are you channeling me? Are you somehow mysteriously in my head even though we are on opposite coasts? Are you my East Coast soul sister? I was just telling my husband that we need to get one of those for our old doggy who is VERY hot in our Seattle heat wave right now. I must confess, however, you put my mind so far in the gutter with the twatband that when I first looked at the furminator photo, well, I thought it must be a photo of a dildo or some other sex toy--ha! ha! Ahem.

    @yoga ninja mama--clearly you are not the only one with such thoughts :-)

    P.S. Love the new photos on FB!

  9. ROFL, that is hilarious! A headband for your lady business? WTF?!

    I have a black cat called Edward (NOT after Ed Cullen) and he is my furry-child. I actually picked up my very on MiniEd yesterday and intro'd him to the furry children . . . one was scared and the other two couldn't have cared less.

    Anyways, been reading Twitarded for about a week or so now but this is my first comment . . . and I love the site! Absolutely hilar!

  10. Oh I have one of those for my dog (Elvis aka Foo Fee) He's so 'special', that he spend the whole time he's getting brushed trying to lick the thing. Do you remember back in the day the joke about trying to lick your should/elbow -no, ok the whole point was just friends try to make you look dumb....well anyways that what dear little Foo Fee looks like.

    Ahaaa @ Jake needing one! Oh lawd, my mind went to the gutter thinking about the convo between B&J, B got Jake a "present", which then leads to Jake asking her to "bush me" (Oh damn, I think I'v been reading to much FF)

    On that note, the site looks great! WV is noushen as in I'm not noushen, Edward'a a vampire!

  11. OK first - the vagina headband is ultra scary! If that thing happened to let go, it could kill someone.

    And I'm pretty sure my dog would be bald after a go with the furminator!!

  12. Well, I also have to admit that after seeing the "vagina headband" (scary bussiness) I was thinking the furminator was something along the same line...

    But, after having my mind back on track, thanks for the advice, STY. I don't have a pet now, but sis does and I'm getting a furminator (love the name) for her's.
    It's scary how much fur comes out of one's pet... we could stuff a pillow or build an entire new pet... yuck!

    By the way, glad to know your kitty is well!

    As for the wolf pack... I wouldn't mind furminating myself some wolf. Sorry, but I stumble accross some of Paul's pics and still haven't recovered!

  13. OK, so you know, I may or may not have crossed over to the dark side, and there may or may not be a picture floating around of me at blogher licking a lifesize cardboard Edward. Yum.

  14. Oh my friggin god! A vag band?! What next?
    That thing looks as if it could do some serious damage like slip upwards, get lost and hitchhike up and through the nether region and wind up coming out of your bloody nose. Shit sake! What is it meant to do exactly? All I want to know is, does it vibrate??

    @LKW - you made me burst out laughing. haha

    @STY - Glad your moggy is doing better. :D

    I'm going to buy that "Furminator" for my hubby. He has the dead hamster problem, you know that friggin hair that grows just above his arse, drives me mad. So this thing should do the trick and save me waxing it. haha You think I'm joking.


  15. if you look up "Fruminator Funny" on youtube there is a person grooming their VERY hirsute hubby with it. I just couldn't bring myself to post it, but I should have...

    Here - go nuts {{{shudder}}}:

    @ Brittany - yay! The Twi dark side is the BEST! We have sparkly vampires & stuff! Cookies are over-rated. Oh and we want to see that picture... Who had the FSE at Blogher?! Ours is on a FedEx truck circling my house as I write this - woohoo!

    Everyone, that thing is called a C String" - it's like g-string but um oh hell i don't know it's a vagina band let's just call it what it is - lol! you can click on the link and not see anything too horrible (other than people wearing it. It comes in sequins, too)!

    Oh and I am pretty sure that if you bend over wrong it will go right up your bung-hole...

    verification word = "unaligh" as in [bends over wearing c-string]"what the--- UNALIGH get this thing out of my arse!"

  16. Anyone who's reading The List, the next chapter is out and it is not to be missed!!!!

    This was my first full length fanfic read so I feel ridiculously loyal to it (not to mention that it is insanely HOT).

    I'm currently in the throws of Wide Awake passion, but The List will always be "my first".

  17. OH MY GOSH. I need The Furminator. Living in Hawaii, my dogs and cat shed a lot, as in daily I'm vacuuming and sweeping but that's because all three are lazy and refuse to step outside and lounge on my couch all day. I'm glad that I can work to support my three ungrateful, fat ass pets!
    Yikes my word ver. is cometra. That sounds like a Comic Book villain. The Cometra! He will spew you to death!

  18. @ STY - So is "C-String" short for "Clit-String?" or even worse?? haha


  19. Ok...I havent even finished reading the post, I am stuck at this C String. I did dare to click on the picture...WHAT THE FUCK...did they really say "hugging the vagina and buttcrack" and "Your modesty remains safely covered at all times" with what?! that headband?! And that girl is wearing one in PUBLIC...and they all look so happy with a headband "hugging their vaginas and buttcracks" WTF...ok back to reading...

  20. glad you wrote about this, 'cause for some reason, I trust y'all like you're family or something. Wait, I think I trust you guys more than my family. Sad., yeah, I totally need one of those furminator things. And maybe finally I can watch tv/sleep/eat/whatever without having cat hair flying all over, in my contacts/mouth/drink. Nothing like trying to wipe cat hair off your face with a hand covered in cat hair. Especially when you have lipstick or chapstick on. *pth pth* (that's me trying to spit the cat hair off the

  21. Nermal! Yes! Garfield - the legendary deadpan delivery cat. And I mean that in the way he delivers his lines, not the method used by an organisation that may specialise in direct to your door cat smallgoods.

  22. Holy mother of...
    Well that's all I can really say
    I am shocked and actually crying with laughter.
    Silent tears due to the fact I have to be quiet because of the sleeping people
    But you girls ROCK!
    I shall continue to check back here often and twitter stalk so I don't miss anything =D

  23. Hey STY and JJ

    OME i love your blog. Had to chime in with my furminator endorsement too (not so sure about that other thing though).

    Also had to that share my PE arrived in the mail today. I was so excited to commence with inappropriate photos/videos. Here is my first: He was quickly stolen away by my furbaby Digit - the polydactyl cat.
    Don't know if this link will work (my first post!)

  24. @theamypalooza - Love the cat with PE. Digit has great taste too!

    @Vitamin R - When I first saw The Furminator, my mind went in the gutter too, so don't feel bad. These are the lovely ladies that snapped pics of PE with such 'toys'.

    Has anyone tried to use the furminator on a wire-haired dogs? My sis has two bassetts that shed like no ones business. I just may get her one. Thanks STY for the info! You guys rock as usual!!

  25. One question...
    where the hell to you put the c-string when you have to pee???

  26. Aww, Bennett looks just like the black and white kitty in this video:

    Watch it. It's really funny.

  27. No you did not just put Nermal in a post. I'm gonna send World's Cutest Kitten to Abu Dahbi! F-in A, that's hilarious.

    Oh, and I use the furminator on my three fat ass cats. Seems to do the trick when you can get the puss to cooperate ;)

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