Thursday, July 16, 2009

Taylor Lautner in Interview Magazine: Twitarded's Two Cents

Can I just preface this by saying Why YES I am going to hell! Thanks for asking! At least I will be in good company... Just sayin'... [For the sake of full disclosure and to keep that "To Catch a Predator" dude from ringing my doorbell, he's not my type. Too wholesome. Of course I don't want to corrupt that...]

So yesterday my inadvertent Twi-Enabler, Office Snarky, brought me a fresh batch of magazines and assorted journalistic ephemera (Office Snarky and her DH get EVERY magazine and periodical on the planet - he is a publicist and apparently needs them for work-y reasons - and she brings them to me. Extra-fast when they're Twilight-related... Yay Office Snarky!).

OME I thought Edward Cullen couldn't age?!? Someone needs to tell that to the Wall Street Journal's illustrator. Stat. Ewwwww... I feel bad for Harry Potter and his creepy magic wand, too.

OME is NOT happy! But he's lovin' the "Welcome Back Potter" byline...

HA! Twilight gets the last page of Entertainment Weekly... SUCK IT, Harry Potter...

The copy of Interview with Taylor Lautner was hot off the press and has just shown up in their mailbox!

Hey chick I don't recognize 'cause you're not in Twilight: Edward's got yer nose!

If I were a more motivated blogger and was not in "my cat is sick, my parents are in town, and work is hell = no bloggy fun-time for STY-ville," I SO could have scooped everyone on this story! I mean, it wasn't even on Interview's website yesterday! But, I'm not. And I didn't. Oh well. Having the actual magazine DID actually result in some nice photo ops, though:

Don't worry! Mini-E does NOT succumb to the black hole that is Taycob's gaping maw...

In addition to requiring more motivation than I possess, getting in ahead of the game would have involved my learning how to use the scanner that came with the new computer I got to replace the one that literally fried last month. Given my massive technical ineptitude, it's probably for the best that I didn't mess with it. Surely, it would have ended with me crying at three a.m. because I had accidentally scanned and posted a picture of my ass. 'nuff said. But I DID read the Interview article today. Or at least the first few lines. And frankly, I was a tad miffed.

From what I could surmise, it's apparently not necessary to have any particular knowledge of your subject matter - or their body [he-he!] of work - when interviewing them. And I say this as a long-time fan of Interview magazine. I'm going to go ahead and date myself by saying that I used to subscribe to Interview in my teens - back when Andy Warhol was still at the helm - and I have high expectations regarding its content. So I was disappointed when I read the first few introductory lines of the article:
The producers opted not to mess with their core constituency. While Twilight was ringing up $380 million at the box office and becoming one of the top pop-culture phenomena of the past year, Lautner was busy packing on 30 pounds of -muscle at the gym. His character, Jacob Black, the platonic best friend of heroine Bella Snow [SNOW?](played by Kristen Stewart), transforms in New Moon from a likable klutz into a member of a wolf pack. Likewise, the film gives Lautner a chance to bust out of more than his shirts, challenging co-star Robert Pattinson’s dominance of both the teen mags and the movie’s monster love-story narrative.
Um... Say what??? I have problems with that paragraph for a few reasons. I'll agree that the overall interview is great, but what a lame way to kick things off... Even though Taylor Lautner describes his character as "klutzy" before his wolf-y transformation, I think maybe I was absent that day... "Likable klutz"?? Huh??? I thought all the klutziness was reserved for Bella... To the best of my recollection, Jacob wasn't all that clumsy. He may be young and a little awkward around Bella, but only because he really liked her. Which brings me to my next beef: I don't think that from Jacob's perspective things were ever all that platonic. OK, maybe when they were making mud-pies together as wee tots he wasn't trying to get into her Garanimals, but that's all I will concede.

In all fairness, I didn't find anything particularly objectionable in the rest of the interview. Taycob seems like a genuinely nice kid; admittedly "not a reader" [GAH!] but he has read the series. OK I am too old to be going any further than this, but Taycob, well done my jailbait friend. You look, um, OK I guess. If I was into young boys. Which I am SO not, Chris Hansen. JFTR.

OK - gotta run - literally! Hope there's enough cash in the Twitarded fund to bail me out...

And in case you missed it, here's the video that was posted in conjunction with the interview:

Inteview also had a feature on Michael Welch last month, so check it out here if you missed it! This is the coolest he will ever be...


  1. I've been following your blog for a little while now, and I don't think I've posted a comment to let you know I'm here so, I'm here!

    Anyway, this is a totally random post to post this comment on (what?) but what did you think about the movie?

    Did you think it lived up to the book? Just wonderin'

  2. I don't know what it is, but once I see this boy's pic I don't even bother to read on. He's too young. He just doesn't do it for me. Can't manufacture even a fleeting lustful thought about him.

  3. WoW just a big congrats!

    You have 401 followers now. That´s so awesome!!
    I remember following you in the early 100.

    *cough* and now I go and read your post, I was just so exited for you that a had to add my comment first.

  4. So, so, so, so, so young. His voice kind of grates me the wrong way. Anyone else have that issue.

    I get "Entertainment Weekly" and totally glossed over the "Welcome Back Potter" line--dammit now I am going to have the "Welcome Back Kotter" theme song in my head. Shit!

    Welcome back from your cat and family hiatus STY--missed you! :)

  5. Yeah, I'm safe from "To Catch a Predator" (although Jacob looks very mature and soulful in the new movie photo with Bella.) In the meantime I'm still saving my bail money for Rob. - Suz
    (word verification: bousness - I believe this is what I will now call any business I conduct during happy hour!)

  6. Dear Interview,

    When referring to a best-selling series with a cult-like (heh) following, it might behoove you to, oh I don't know, DOUBLE CHECK THE NAMES OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS. I can forgive the "klutz" comment, because you probably didn't read Twilight and got info from others/read a synopsis/made a stab in the dark, but names don't require reading between the lines. Just reading in general.

    Just sayin'.


  7. I watched that interview earlier today. It was helpful in reinforcing how YOUNG Taycob really is. In a still photo- super hot. Talking in real life- high school boy through and through. Phew- now I can go back to drooling over Robward.

  8. Ok, my second comment this morning - sorry for spamming..
    I couldn´t read the interview myself as - *sigh* - germany does not provide those stuff to us. Anyway, from those lines you posted it seems like they didn´t read the stuff they are talking about. Which is just stupid...
    and I agree with you : Jacob has never been clumsy and he never had platonic feelings since she moved to Forks.
    Taylor seems to be a nice kid, agree, but that´s what he is - a kid!

  9. Little Taycob has never done it for me, either. He still looks way too Nickelodeon, with a dash of Mario "Gross" Lopez. Seems like a nice enough kid, though. *Pats Tay's head" Now run along and play. That's a good dog.

  10. Also need to add this: that illustration of Edward up there looks like someone reused an illustration of Peter Faulk from back when, and just added some lipstick. Watch out, Harry! Columbo in drag is trying your ear off? What is he doing?

  11. I just can't bring myself to read the interview,however I did forward it along to my Team Jacob friend (who I hope looks good in orange jumpsuits 'cause that's what she's going to be sporting once Chris Hansen catches up with her.) I even gave her the Jacob poster from my Sexy Stars mag for fear if I even had it in my possession, I would be risking incarceration.

  12. Yeah, I have to admit that Taycob is too child-like, too cutesy, too nicey-nice for me (thirty lbs of muscle or no - just made him a beefier kid)). I'm ok with that I guess (it's not like I WANT to be ogling the kiddies - lol!) but I hope it doesn't ruin the movie for me on some level. Although I guess that I kind of felt the same way about the character in the books (Team Edward!!! Yay!!!) so maybe it's all gonna be ok. But couldn't he bad-boy it up a notch??? Is it terribly, terribly wrong that I want him to start smoking??? [I kid... I kid...]

    Thanks to everyone for the kudos on our reaching 400 followers!!! You all keep us motivated, so keep on coming back and commenting! Huh that sounded twelve-steppy...

    OK I am off to tend to sick kitty and visiting family! Sorry I haven't been around much or visiting my fave bloggy friends... I miss you all!!!

  13. Hi STY:

    "Welcome Back, Blogger!" ;P

    As for Jacob's alleged clumsiness: In "New Moon," Stephenie makes a point of describing Jacob's near-Evel Knievel level of agility, when he races on his motorcycle to assist Bella, who has crashed her own bike for the upteenth time.

    (Sidebar complaint: I know they are just dopey teenagers, but wouldn't one of them have realized that a HELMET was mandatory for Bella, before she even attempted to straddle said motorbike?)

    And STY, I congratulate you for the tameness of the positioning of Mini-E, in the photo with Taylor's gaping maw—in less restrained hands, that could have gone VERY wrong....

  14. Welcome back STY! Hope your moggy gets better.

    Sorry but "TayLat" does nothing for me. I know he buffed up blah, blah and kudos for him for doing that, as it took willpower and total commitment. But he just doesn't have that 'Je ne sais quois'...

    TFIF!! Woo hoo!


  15. I'm as wild about Robward as the next Twitard, but greatniece (who led me to the saga) is teenage-appropriately Team J - tho' she loves Rob's music (good taste, that kid!) I have to admit TayLaut seems very personable and is (or might grow up to be) the better actor...and I've always been drawn to Native American culture so I really like the Jacob character (who, as you note, is so not a klutz!)
    BTW we're in Forks right now and it's pretty cool (despite the heat;) Sunset @First Beach was worth the trip...
    I don't post often but appreciate the almost daily dose of your blog - y'all make me GOL (guffaw out loud;) Good luck w/ the cattie, STY! =^;^=

  16. Hope your kitty gets better soon, STY...

    That "likable klutz" thing is pretty ridiculous, it's so far off the mark.

    Love the pic of Mini-E coming out of Taylor's mouth... hee hee

  17. OK Taycob is seriously tooooo young for me. He is not the century old 17 year old that Eddie is...
    I have a son that looks the same age as Taylor for pete's sake...gross.

    I honestly don't think that he looks gruff enough to play the part either.
    @STY Totally think he needs to take up some vice to get him in the whole swing of things Twi-related. SiGH

    Anyhoo, hope your kitty gets better!

  18. just want to say..... where i live (rhode Island) age of consent is 17, so i can say he is hot.... but i dont think he ranks newhere near rob. taylors a good looking guy, and i think he'll look better in like 7 years. his body dont hurt to see either.....

    ...... in this months cosmo there was an article about rob and kristen..... nothing major, just disecting their body language around each other, u know the normal are they lovers shit.

  19. STY, hope your kitty is better...

    I have to admit (looking embarassed at the ground) that I think "the Cullens" and "the pack" are well casted... *sigh*
    Never get tired of looking at them!

    Thanks for posting all these links to the magazines.
    If you think you have misinformation there, we get almost nothing here at Portugal, and what you do get it's just "WHAT? Do they know what they're talking about?!!"
    @ Mrs. Vanquish: I know exactly how you feel!


  20. I read this article today and I was soooo disappointed about the klutz comment and all the pohysicality of his New Moon Jacob. I'm always struck by the image in the book where Jacob comes to school in Black leather jacket and motorcycle looking all badboy, The transformation is from innoncence to BADBOY/RISKTAKER..Since taylor didn't acknowledge that I thought - hmmm- did he hit that mark? I now wonder..I hope the movie does not suck because of it. i still don't see Taylor as "THAT" guy..But i was never Team jacob.

    Congrats on your Followers! You sooo deserve it.

  21. WoW just a big congrats!

    You have 401 followers now. That´s so awesome!!
    I remember following you in the early 100.

    *cough* and now I go and read your post, I was just so exited for you that a had to add my comment first.


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