Friday, July 24, 2009

A Twitarded Robert Pattinson Encounter of the Best Kind!

We here at Twitarded are a little sad. Huffy, maybe... It's like that part in Eclipse where Bella stomps her foot and Jacob is all 'I thought girls only do that in movies'. Well, he's fucking wrong. I'm definitely foot-stompy-bent-out-of-shape. We aren't at Comic Con [sniffle...though it's probably for the best. JJ pointed out that we most certainly would be ejected from the premises the second we went all fist-a-cuffs on the first tweeny-bopper who gave us the stink-eye], we're not going to TwiCon [whaaaa...] and we had only limited luck with JJ set-stalking Robert Pattinson while he was filming Remember Me semi-near her office [yes, you can call the whambulance now, please - just make sure there's room for two]. However, sometimes we get to live vicariously through our reader's encounters with RPatts! Because, frankly, that's as close as we're gonna get to that adorkable (and hot! oh lawd is he hawt!) dude.

Fellow Twitard Justine recently sent me an email about her up-close & personal encounter with RPatts, and she's been kind enough to let us share it with you! We secretly hate you for this, but in the most loving way ever! As in Envious. Invidious. SOOOO J-E-A-L-O-U-S!!! We are 100% certain that you all will be as overwhelmed with jealousy as we were, yet still somehow enjoy the feeling just like we did...


"Beg pardon? You want do what with me where now?! Er...I'm still listening...Go on..."


Sent under cover of "How Twilight brings families together" because she was nice enough not to gloat, Justine (who is currently in France) told me how Twilight had brought her closer to her mom Christine and her teenage sister, Hunter:

Hi Snarkier Than You,
i love love love you and Jenny Jerkface's blog Twitarded [note from STY - jftr we never get tired of hearing this - thanks!], i go to it many times a day. Anyway, in regards to the blog post about your sister and you now sharing something, i have a similar story now with my little sister (16) and my mother (46) and how we are all obsessed with RPAttz and my mom is a complete enabler now. She even encouraged me to go the the Remember Me set and to wait all day and guess what? I met RPattz i included the photo (i look like a cat in headlights who is melting because an angel is holding her at the waist and yes even a hint of a smile [SQUEEE!!])! I just wanted to share this email chain with you, from my mom to me because I think you might find some humor in it.
~Justine
PS - thanks for filling my life with amazing Twitarded humor every day
PPS - I think i may have seen Jenny Jerkface on the nyc subway once, oddly enough [note from STY - Justine has been warned that if JJ sees her on the subway, she will rush up to her and rub herself all over her just in case there is a little lingering "Essence of Robward" on her person... Although Justine said her sister already did that, soooo... And the shirt she was wearing belongs to her sister, who won't relinquish ownership of it! Yo, li' sis: give the shirt to Justine!]

*************************************

From: Christine [Mom]
To: Justine

Hope you are having a fantastic time - and having fun with Twilight!

From: Justine
To: Christine/Mom

i am having fun with Twilight, Comic Con is starting soon and rob is there in san diego :( but i was wondering if that blockbuster is still near you, can u go grab me those RPattz chocolates?
http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2009/07/23/want-some-robert-pattinson-chocolate i want one lol or 3 or 4.



From: Christine/Mom
To: Justine

I will go by today and see if they have your chocolates : ) are they shaped like Rob??? [we wish! full, anatomically-correct Robward custard-filled chocolates... mmmmmm...]


From: Justine
To: Christine/Mom

haha i wish they were, i think they are hearts or something, but they are cream filled lol... [this sounds SO dirty to me now - must be from the infamous "love custard" post"...]

From Christine/Mom
To: Justine

ok, i don't want to get into this whole Rob thing but Hunter [younger sis] and I were just listening to an interview he did for Twilight, and I have never heard his voice before...I have to say, this guy is over-the-moon gorgeous. Now I have to go peel Hunter off of the couch, I think she melted with lust from hearing him speak...she said he does not sound like that in Twilight.
Oh my...


From: Justine
To: Christine/Mom

ahahahahah when i met him [more on this in a sec!!!], his voice was no joke like an angel--so spoft spoken and melodic, GAH!! i love him ;P

From: Christine/Mom
To: Justine

yeah, well... his hands running through his tousled hair... shit yeah.

From: Justine

To: Christine/Mom

yea....mmmmmm

*************************************

Now THAT'S how to bond with your adult daughter!

But wait: the best is yet to come!!! Here's the deets on Justine's RPatts encounter!

Here's the story of what actually happened. so i live in brooklyn and they were filming a few blocks away; I wanted to go over there but my dad and grandma think i'm fucking crazy (like no joke, they want me committed to which i respond, hello! i just graduated college with magna cum laude! holy shit you think I'd catch a break?!) so I called up my mom (who lives in CT) and she was like, you will never get over it if you don't go--you must go to the set, and take pictures! [YAY Mom!] So i go super-early the next morning and they weren't there until later in the day. I go back at 8pm and wait with a bunch of other girls, some fucking annoying 12 yr olds were running up and down the block trying to get his photo, they were kicked off set luckily - people like that just ruin everything for the respectful (and somewhat less crazy) people like me :) anyway, so the crowd dwindles down to around 10 people around 1:30 am, and we had been shivering and standing in heels for hours... the crew wouldn't give us any food (jerks - and not the good Jerkface kind lol). Rob finally came out with his bodyguards (all of the PA's and guards have nicknames on twitter from fans btw like "the regulator," "dr. phil" [note from STY - I know EXACTLY which dude this is 'cause I thought the same thing!], "evil taye diggs" - the list goes on) and they made us form a line and i was 2nd in line and i was shaking because i was fucking IN HEAVEN!! and cold too and i smiled at him and he he was laughing at something and he put his arm around my waist and i put mine around his and he smelled like a man i would want to do dirty nasty things to me (don't tell me boyfriend although he already knows) and beer, lots of beer (heinken bottles were all over the inside of his trailer--you'd think he'd have better-quality beer these days). then we took the photo and i was in shock, and i forgot to do the one thing my mom made me promise, so i got in line again, and when it was my turn I whispered to him "so my mom said she would never forgive me if I didn't ask you out for a drink" and rob--laughing in his melodic voice--says "what? with your mom?" and i said "no with me hahahaa" and he replied "hahaha i don't drink" and i blurt out "hahaha yeah right!" and then the guards whisked him away very swiftly and i got a very strong need to wear blue and red plaid all of a sudden - it's like he sleeps in that shirt. he was just so gorgeous i honestly can't find the right words for it and yet so humble and nice to us...c'est tres magnifique!

PS - I told my mom we were gonna be on Twitarded maybe and she was like "omg what does that word mean? i have to add it to my vocabulary now," and as we speak she's at the library trying to figure out which is the first book in the series and why she has to be on a wait-list to get it!!!!!
I know I say this all the time [under the right circumstances I'd consider temporarily switching teams for Tina Fey], but I want to go to there!!!

Dammit! Not only did Justine get to touch RPatts, she looks soooo fucking adorable doing it! If I was hanging around until the wee hours of the morning I'd look like someone dragged my ass down Broadway and back. On my face.

Congratulations, Justine, on your uber-successful on-set adventure! We're totally proud of you - and your mom! RPatts looks genuinely happy & shy & adorable [ok and a little toasted, too] in the pic (probably because you are so cute) and your mom deserves kudos for giving you the extra push it took to get you down there - go mom!!

P.S. If it were me in the pic, you would probably only see my eyes rolling back in my head due to the fact that I was passed out. [THUD! Snarky down! Call whine nine one one!!]

42 comments:

  1. She is adorable! Is it sad I want to know how tall she is..cuz I always wonder how tall he would be, y'know...compared to me.
    (wow, my crazy is all kinds of out there).

    ANYWAY, she is adorable and lucky and I hate her...just kidding! Way to go girl! And I love that he smells manly and beerly, can she elaborate on that more???

    my verification word is: inskerid

    as in i inskerid od my rpattz obsession.

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  2. OK RobLure (my new nickname for STY - since seeing her gorgeousness in a bikini with her sis) Great POST!
    and...

    [THUD! Snarky down! Call whine nine one one!!]

    haha..snarky down. hahahahahahaha.

    Justine is adorable ! Thanks Justine and congrats on being magna cum laude! Gorgeous with Brains! Just like STY..love the caption under the first photo!

    Good night!

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  3. Justine!!! You da man!!! How cute is Justine's mom too. All I can say is Justine looks adorable in her pic and I'm very fucking jealous. Twitarded needs to organize a group rate for all of us for next year's Comic Con. Wouldn't that be fun if we all went?

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  4. Thank you for describing how he smells. I've wondered that. How did you manage to refrain from kissing him? I'm definitely having a great dream tonight!

    wv: sackxdge
    Robward, is that a sackxdge in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

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  5. Wow, lucky girl! What a great photo too. :D

    Snarky Down, you funny moo! hahaha I'm with you, once midnight hits forget it, I'd be smiling with my eyes closed, looking like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards and hoping that I didn't have spinach in my teeth.

    @HonGirl - holy shit! Could you imagine us all there? That would be CrazyTown. Trying to not get thrown out would be our biggest challenge, haha Especially if we were all waving our Mini E's. Can you spell - Straightjacket.

    :D

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  6. This is a fantastic Fondle Friday story. Oh, Justine why did he not go out for a drink with you? You are gorgeous! Hey, at least you tried. Your mom sounds so cool. My mom thinks I am nuts and does not even know the half of it :) Of course I am, ahem, just a wee bit older than you. I love how innocent sounding the whole encounter re-hash until Justine mentions his smell and "he smelled like a man i would want to do dirty nasty things to me"--Ha! Fantastic!

    I am starting to think there is actually something supernatural about Rob--some wicked sex pheromone that is emitting from him to put us all in a trance! Allright time for a drink then bed.

    Thanks for sharing your story Justine and congrats on touching the untouchable!

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  7. Awesome, Justine! I think you BOTH look adorable!

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  8. see..... another fan disproes the stinky RPattz rumors, lol. yes im incredibly jealous..... for so many reasons, like u saw rpattz, talked to rpattz, touched rpattz and ur mom is ok, and infact incouraging ur twi-addiction!!! mine wheels her ass outta the room at the mention on nething twilight or rpattz related......

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  9. I love your mom dood! My mom is a total enabler too! :go to vancouver, you never do anything for yourself!" i love cool moms!

    I likey this blog, first time visiting. I lost my twitarded virginity tonight! yeahhH!! i shall be back!

    ps: my word verification for this post is "shized" - like "i just shized in my pants" - LMFAO!

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  10. Great story and gorgeous pic! You are so effing lucky!

    And my mom is as Twitarded about Rob as I am. We both sit for hours watching vids of him on YouTube.

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  11. Just came across your blog and I'm IN LOVE. I can feel your pain in Remember Me frustrations. I've been to set twice and twice-ly thwarted. But you can bet I'm scanning every. single. bar. I attend in hopes of casually encounter that piece of British meat.

    And it is DEFINITELY true about nicknames for most of the crew. We can't forget Bitch (girl, short) and as I like to call him Fucktard (the one with tats on his arms and blatantly makes fun of fans). I'm hoping to get to set next week so I can personally punch him in the balls.

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  12. Aww great story! Smells like man and beer.... um that sounds very yummy!

    *and hot! oh lawd is he hawt!* Amen sister snarky, A-MEN!

    On a family note. I got this call while I was working today from my Dad.
    Dad- Hey check your email
    Me - ok, Why?
    Dad - I was on MSN checking sports scores, and I saw an article about NM at Comic Con. It was really good, and it had some pictures! (He was really excited to tell me this, like reallly)
    Me - *trying to process my 59 year old Dad reading a article about NM/RPattz* Um wow thanks Dad! OK gotta go!

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  13. im so jealous! as green as the green monster himself. i wish i was there to smell him. your mom is fucking awesomeee. my mother would never talk with me like that :(

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  14. I so want to hate Justine, but how cute does she look!!! Lucky girl and how great that she shared her adventure and what an awesome Mum! Justines really gotta get her Mum in a photo with Rob!
    Jo from Oz.

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  15. Forgot to add that I love your blog and yeah, I am in a snit because I want to be at Comic Con too! At least you girls are on the same continent!!!
    Jo from Oz

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  16. HEy its Justine from the picture!! I love the blog post, SQUEEEEE is fucking amazing, thanks for all the twitarded comments, i love it!!!! anyway I just thought i would add this last email from my mom which wasnt posted.
    "I got the Twilight book at the library but I am kind of scared to touch it. It looks like a million yucky teenager hands have been all over the thing. It looks old and dirty and all the pages are bent. I will not enjoy my Twilight experience reading this worn-in germ filled book. I will wait to get my own copy so I can snuggle up with it.

    Oh, and by the way, we could not resist eating all the Twilight chocolates tonight. I could not resist eating Rob...."

    [comment from Justine "damn you mother for eating my cream filled RPattz]

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  17. Justine is really adorable (maybe one day she disclose her personal secrets on how to stay so cute at 1-something in the morning!) and Rob was stupid for not accepting her drink invitation! Nice job, Justine!!

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  18. Nice Job Justine. I'm a wee bit jealous... ok, not really, I'm dying over here! And you just look so adorable in this pic standing next to him! How could you stand there next to without just turning right into his chest and taking a deep breath? I would have had to do it and then most likely would have been whisked away by security! OMG, he is so hawt! You must have had a strong urge to lick him, right?

    STY - You crack me up! Whine-one-one, the Whambulance! LOL!

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  19. Way to go, Justine! I love a good vicarious SQUEE! That's an amazing photo.

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  20. Thank you for sharing this, STY and Justine!

    And lovely Justine:

    While we may inwardly writhe over your stunning photo and admirably classy RP encounter, I, for one, am even more envious of the remarkably candid relationship among you, your mom, and your little sis!

    To place this envy in context: I suspect that my own mother is the one who set the copy of Twilight ablaze, in Thursday's "Joe Blow Hates..." post....

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  21. @Honolulu Girl: Like your idea... I'm going to start saving money 'cause airplane+hotel+"everything else" is gonna get me bankrupt.

    @ VitaminR: wicked sex pheromone! Thank God you gave me something to blame my obsession on!

    @Justine: I'm trying no to envy you, but it's really, really difficult. I find myself wanting more details about your enconter with RPattinson.... How twisted am I?

    Kisses

    Word Verification: nobal. I should try to act a little more nobal but RP just makes me go all nutty!

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  22. Justine - I'm very impressed with your equanimity while meeting his holy hotness and even getting back in line to ask him for a drink. Most of my past celebrity encounters consisted of me going nonverbal. (See my picture in the dictionary next to "starstruck stupid")

    And they weren't Rob! I can only imagine (and cringe) what permanently disabling humiliation I would bring on myself if I got that close to him. (That said, if he ever films or vacations in Colorado, I'll fucking risk it!)

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  23. @justine: this is an adorable photo. you are gorgeous! congrats on graduating with magna cum laude -- brains AND beauty!

    uhmm rpattz looks like he just finished smoking a nice big spliff. baked, fer sher. haha! what a fucking doll (the both of you, really!)

    P.S. my verification word is mingi. this brings fond memories of my british friend AW who likes to throw around the word "minge" as an insult (it's a vulgar british term for vagina). lmao.

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  24. that girl is so super cute with her Hendrix tee on and he is hugging her. Le sigh. I totally would have pressed my boobies into him more and ever so gently laid my head on his chest.and died. so he could have tried giving me CPR.

    Then I would have had Robness on my lips. Oh to dream.

    I'm so jelly over here. It's not even funny.

    and holla STY!! Thanks for the lurve on my blog!!

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  25. wait. did you see this picture? im not good at the linky stuff....

    http://whattheforks.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/image_1.jpg?w=486&h=444

    dude. i have to change my undies.

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  26. A BIG THANK YOU to STY for sharing Justine's TWITARDED worthy escapades. ANOTHER BIG THANK YOU to Justine for being so wonderful. Your observations were awe inspiring. Gives us all a little more insight into the real Rowbward.

    WV: retersh. There is no way to retersh for a Rowbard experience

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  27. @Christina Padilla: Thank you for the link to the pic. Brain melting... Gahhhhh

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  28. I am so jealous it's not even funny. Only in my dreams could I 1.) be this cute 2.) get my pic with him and talk to him more than once and 3.) hear his voice in person thud I died!

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  29. Holy Fricken Hell, I just lost my Wide Awake virginity in a big way. I was thinking "it's Friday night, the kids, are tucked in, hubby's doing his thing, I can start with the first couple of chapters tonight...."

    I was still reading at 7 this morning as the sun was coming up. The only reason I stopped then was that I was so horrified and despondent after Chapters 43 and 44 that I couldn't go on. I got 3 hours of sleep, told hubby that I couldn't possibly go out and have fun with him and the kids today and dove back in for the remaining chapters.

    I'm now basically panting thinking "July 25, today's July 25, she says the next chapter will be up July 25, where is it...pant pant gasp...."

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  30. LOL...this is the first time reading your blog and it is effing hilarious. I love this post...it made my day.

    Lucky Justine! I hate you...j/k.
    thanks for sharing that awesome story :)

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  31. What an awesome story!

    Alas, it has made me realize something:

    If supercute Justine can't get Rob to come out with her, then yea... never happening for me (boo).

    So with that realization, maybe now I can move on with my life? Please?....

    Uh yea, that's probably never happening either.

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  32. Yeah, I had that same thought....If a gorgeous young age appropriate woman can't get his attention than what are the odds.....

    Then I reminded myself...that's why they are called fantasies, because they don't have to have any grounding in reality at all!

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  33. @onoimatwitard2: you're not alone on the Wide Awake issue... Same thing happened to me. I made the mistake of reading it on working days, so I was grumpy as hell and just kept loking at the time so I could get home to read it! Someone said it's not called Wide Awake for nothing.... Yep, couldn't agree more!

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  34. Great story! Jealous, jealous, jealous.

    I'm bummed you two aren't coming to Twicon...would've been fun to have met you in person! :)

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  35. @selene: that picture is one word "HEAVENLY" swoon.

    @ onoimatwitard2: i am a wide awake virg here too. so i guess i know what i'll be reading tonight!!!

    how the hale did i miss this?

    wait! I work tomorrow, maybe i should wait until my day off, cuz im a candyass and i need my sleep.

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  36. If you are not able to function without sleep I would highly advise waiting! My response to this story was much more intense than to the Twilight books (hard to believe thats even possible). I at least shut things down at 2 or 3 in the morning when I was reading the books. With Wide Awake I did not even entertain the idea of stopping to sleep.

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  37. Have just discovered you awesome chicks!!! Love yays, from all the way down here in New Zealand, where no one else understands my OCD (or as my hubby calls it, Obsessive Cullen Disorder)....

    Fantastic, sore ribs from laughing so much!!!

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  38. I SO wanted to hate Justine but she's too fucking cute! Lucky bitch!

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  39. So lucky! So lucky! So lucky! Why can't these hot people come to my neck of the woods? I just live in the wrong place.

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  40. LOL...this is the first time reading your blog and it is effing hilarious. I love this post...it made my day.

    Lucky Justine! I hate you...j/k.
    thanks for sharing that awesome story :)

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  41. @selene: that picture is one word "HEAVENLY" swoon.

    @ onoimatwitard2: i am a wide awake virg here too. so i guess i know what i'll be reading tonight!!!

    how the hale did i miss this?

    wait! I work tomorrow, maybe i should wait until my day off, cuz im a candyass and i need my sleep.

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