Monday, August 17, 2009

And Robert Pattinson said "Let there be Twitarded thongs." And it was so.

WE DID IT! WE DID IT! We finally did it!!! And by "we," I mean "Latchkey Wife ," because she did 99.9% of the legwork that it took to make this happen.

We've been meaning to do this for a while. But we are chronic procrastinators. Sadly, we started the Cafe Press store three or four months ago but realized we were totally in over our heads and had no idea what we were doing. Have my technical chops improved since I discovered Twilight and blogging? Absolutely! Could I explain the difference between a jpeg, png, and tif file if my life depended on it? Nope - it would be dirt-nap time for Snarky.

People began mentioning that they wanted Twitarded merch months and months ago, and it became increasingly apparent that you Twitards are a resourceful lot (as if I didn't already know this - of course you guys are brilliant!). When Latchkey Wife sent me the pic below I knew it was "shit or get off the pot" time, because clearly the rest of the world does not share my caveman-level technical competency and would take matters into their own hands if I didn't take care of business...
Whoa - set up the X-rated Twitarded store, STAT!

Soooooo... It makes me happier than Bella on Isle Esme to announce that we have Twitarded merchandise available for your late-night impulse-buying pleasure at both Cafe Press and Zazzle. There isn't a ton of stuff at the moment and hopefully we'll be adding items in the near future, but if your life has been in a perpetual state of distress as a result of not being able to have the Twitard chicks emblazoned on your bosom in all our silly, vampy glory, well my friend, today is your lucky day. So go forth and buy shit!

Go Team Twitarded!!! Too bad they don't sell giant #1 foam fingers... Or maybe they do?!
Your gonna spew it anyway but wouldn't it be nice to have your morning cuppa joe in a Twitarded mug first?
Gotta have something to tote your shit to the New Moon premiere, right???

And because I feel kinda weird about selling stuff that I would happly give out for free if I were independently wealthy (surprisingly, that Mega-Millions lottery get-rich-quick scheme of mine has not panned out as of yet), I want to state for the record that we're selling these items for the minimum 10% markup that Zazzle requires and adding only $1 (or in some cases $0 for the really inexpensive stuff) to the merch at Cafe Press. The idea of people wearing, stickering, or stamping envelopes with our Twitarded logo (that Mr. Snarky doodled on the back of an envelope one night at my request!) makes me so insanely happy that I can't even find words to describe it. Plus I will be my own best customer and I am currently residing in Brokeville.

Should you feel compelled to spend your hard-earned cash spreading the Twitarded love, we'd love it if you would take pictures of you, your S/O, your kid, or your pet wearing our merch! Please snap a few shots and sent them our way so that we can post them here for everyone to enjoy!

Thanks again to Latchkey Wife for making this all possible - I bow to your technical superiority.

And thanks for all of you who want to sport Twitarded merch! I am truly in awe... OK I gotta go buy a mug... and a thong... and an apron and maybe a few buttons and stickers and...

P.S. I know a lot of you are interested in the Team Twitarded buttons - and I am thrilled! I will get a link for purchasing them up in the next day or so!


P.P.S. I also want to thank Lys for the awesome "Team Twitarded" graphic!

41 comments:

  1. AAAAAHH! So excited!

    My Twitarded shirt (courtesy of Deb) needs to be photographed STAT and emailed your way. I can't be more thrilled with my shirt or the new merch!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh that I had a million dollars! I guess I will have to settle instead for just ONE piece of merchandise! Great stuff ladies - thanks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. as soon as i get some sort of new chas flow secured, im buying shit!! i want a mug,a nd def a i want to lick your vampsicle shirt

    ReplyDelete
  4. That.Is.Awesome. ! Lol you girls have your own merch, still can´t believe that! It´s amazing. The stuff is great, really! The panties crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I squeed at the mug! You'd think Robward came with it!

    VW-gamptiz- what your boobs look like when your 100?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Woofreakinhoo! I am so flipping excited. Me want it all, except for maybe the thong b/c, er, um I don't really understand them (Do they really cover your goods?)

    Thank you JJ, STY, Mr. STY and Latchkey Wife--the wait just made it that much sweeter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am soooo getting the military cap. Anyone know if it's adjustible? The pic shows it on a mans head.

    If your taking requests.....While I am fully out of the twilight closet with friends and family, I'm not out with the world in general. I would love a skinny T shirt or tank top with just the logo, like on the cap and thong.

    I'll sport the vampy cartoon JJ and STY in public, I'm just not ready to sport TWITARD in public.

    I know, I know, I could always go the thong route. Thinking... thinking... Nope, just not a thong type of gal.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love, love the military cap too! I second @onoimatwitard2 and would like more just JJ/STY stick figure options--i.e. a bumper sticker--are the circle stickers bumper sticker grade? I would love a black hoodie with just your stick figure faces. Now,that would be my new uniform for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awesome! I love the mug and must have it. Ok, got to go, my free True Blood link has probably loaded by now. I'm still on freaking Season 1 trying to catch up.

    ReplyDelete
  10. YAY Twitarded! When JJ & STY are rich and famous we can all say "I knew them when..."

    I will proudly send a photo of myself any my Twitarded merch......as soon as I buy some....after payday.

    Thanks Latchkey Wife too!

    (Word Verification: yernies. "I be yernies for some Twitarded merchies"

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woooooo! Merch! I'm so going to buy stuff with the money I have left over from the Twitour in Birmingham.
    It was going to be spent on redecorating my room, but that can wait!
    Team Twitarded ftw!! <3

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yay! SO excited to check this stuff out. Will definitely be needing the coffee mug...and probably lots of other stuff too!

    ReplyDelete
  13. ahahha the G! I hope it has absorbant lining for when i pee my pants laughing at the blog

    ReplyDelete
  14. I just bought my Twitarded button! I'll put it right next to my Twilight Addict and Edward pins on my gym bag. Even more inspiration to get in shape for the New Moon Premiere (oh god, did I just admit that I'm going to the gym to look good for Edward on 11/19... yup, I did. I MUST by Twitarded!!)! =}}}

    ReplyDelete
  15. would love to buy some Twitarded Merch if the damn shipping to SA wasn't so damn expensive.

    will take a peek anyway and keep my purchasing to a minimum... maybe...

    this stuff is fabulous!

    Looking forward to introducing Twitarded to South Africa!

    ReplyDelete
  16. YAY! STY (and Mrs Latchkey!) did it! I am going to start with the military cap & the bag & OF COURSE the mug. Spewing forth MUST be done in style.

    I'm with VitaminR - a hoodie would be super fun too. Would you like me to look into those - and wine glasses? I think it would be fun to have a skype date some night, with wine, of course! And said wine must be done in style (I'm not above drinking it out of a mug, however!)

    Lastly I can rest easier knowing that the thong is Made in The USA. I wouldn't want one from anywhere else...unless it was made by some hot British guy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. oh SHET. i'm so excited. i know what i'm splurging on next payday: TWITARDED MERCH!

    coffee mug = mine. tshirt = mine. bumper sticker = mine.

    wtf my life is complete.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have never ever but a bumper-sticker on my car (ok, well, not since I was 18) but I am TOTALLY getting a Twitarded bumper-sticker to go along with my "Be safe" sitcker - woohoo! Now all I need is custom-designed plates ("TWITRD"??) and I can call my Forester "The Snarky Mobile" or something like that (gimme a break it Monday morning, I was up 'til 1:45 last night, and my funny isn't working all that great today...

    : )

    I hope DH doesn't mind that the place is going to fill up with Twitarded merch, because I want one of everything!

    Oh and Latchkey Wife reminded me to mention that all of the shirts seem to run on the small side, so you might want to order up, especially in the ones indicating "fitted" sizing.

    I can't wait so see pics of you guys in your Twitarded merch! I wonder what size FSE wears??? Hmmm he's a trim dude do maybe a Medium Twitarded tee for him. And a hat...

    ReplyDelete
  19. YEAH, Just ordered my very own aesball shirt, mug and apron. WOOOO HOOO!

    ReplyDelete
  20. OMG I love it!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. YEAH! I got the doggie shirt for my doxie/jack russel mix - she has a naked tummy and wears tshirts when it's chilly. I'll take a pic when I get it! Of course got a sticker and a mug for my space at work, too!

    ReplyDelete
  22. How about a twitarded maternity shirt?! I need something to wear to New Moon opening night when I'm 6 months pregnant!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wheeee!!! If I even see any of you out and about sporting Twitarded anything, I am going to rush up to you and give you a big kiss (You've been warned! But don't worry - I think I am a pretty good kisser...)

    : )

    ReplyDelete
  24. OMG - this is AWESOME! I'll go ahead and try and find a hoodie and some maternity wear to post. And I'll also do a whole series of stuff with just the heads! I love the shit with just the heads!! LOL - I'm going to call it Just Heads. What about men's t-shirts?? Think any of the DH's will want to sport some Twitarded gear??!

    PS - my word verification is DEFOL - it kinda reminded me of deflower or defile - I'm going to defol Mr. Pattinson if I ever get my grubby paws on him!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow! When I stumbled in this morning from the flight from hell I had no idea STY (and Latchkey) had actually gotten this up and running!! Er, STY may have said something to me but I was a little slow this past weekend.

    Sweet! Definitely send us pictures of you folks in Twitarded gear and if you give us your permission, we'll try to post them!

    ReplyDelete
  26. LOVE the baseball shirt and mug, def on my WANT list, but, not the thong. I love you ladies, but, do you really wanna be that close to my cooter? If it was Rob on the other hand ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anyone looking for maternity wear - hop on over to the Cafe Press Twitarded store! Just white shirt up for now - working on black one.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Just found your site a few weeks ago....LOVING it! Ordered a bumper sticker. My husband is going to shit when I put it on my car but oh well! Maybe now he won't want to drive it and screw up my seat adjustments.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so freakin' excited that I am truly doubting my sanity. Does this mean that it's finally time to let my Twitardedness come out of the closet? I don't like to draw attention to myself and I feel a little old to be publicly outted (43)... but I just can't help myself.

    ReplyDelete
  30. OMG, I love it all! Can’t wait to get me some Twitarded stuff! Absolutely want the black hoodie ya’ll were talking about!!

    @Twinatic…cooter? Seriously? I thought only my husband called it that!

    ReplyDelete
  31. all the stuff is so cute! I want too, but i don't think i can buy 'cause i'm in Brazil :(

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks ladies! I had no idea when I whined a few weeks back that this was already in the works. Hmmm... I wonder if my whining powers extend any further...? Nope. Wine glass still empty. Shit.

    Anyway, all the simple graphics are perfect for my half-closeted Twi-self (47, Twilove1 - got ya beat) and I will be ordering various sundry items shortly. I wish you girls took more profit - you have no idea how much we appreciate this 'home' for Special-Ed Twitards, such as we are.

    Idea: I love the vampsicle tag and 'suck it' but I'm hoping with all of the clever and smart-ass bitches on this site that we can come up with a whole line of shirts/slogans that no one ever thought of. Subversive, cerebral, without boundaries... you know the type:-) Make it a contest? Thanks again for the chance to show our true colors!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Ahh!!!! That's so amazing!!!!!! I cant wait to get my hands on some Twitarded merchandise! Even more twilight related stuff to make my husband go crazy! Yay!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. This is so funny (and great) that I posted a blog on our site about it. Hope it gets you guys some sales. I'm seriously going to rock a Twitarded shirt when K and I hit vancouver next month to set stalk. May as well let everyone know why I'm there right?

    -E @ Robsten Loves

    http://robstenlovers.blogspot.com/2009/08/moment-youve-all-been-waiting-for.html

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh, by the way, STY - my compliments to the very talented graphic design work of Mr. Snarky. I had always wondered who scribbled that perfectly juvenile-yet-classy logo! I love the twitarded twisted wink that the girls have fangs altho Edward and family don't. I've designed many, many logos - yours rocks!

    ReplyDelete
  36. @Latchkey Wife--You are freakin' amazing! That black pullover hoodie is mine!!!! Next pay check..it is mine!

    I think I just decided that my all new babies need the bib--to bad my own are too big for bibs---maybe for their baby dolls...hmmm...a bit decadent for playtime but it would bring me such joy......

    ReplyDelete
  37. @VitaminR - I think the hoodie is a men's so keep that in mind when choosing your size!! Glad I could make you soooo happy!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thanks Latchkey---Most of my hoodies are men's I believe. I like the zip through hoodie but I would want it in black and I don't think my "birthed/nursed to babies boobs" can fit in a junior size (I know they can't)--are there any other options in the female variety? You are wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  39. @suzspetals - I love your idea of "a whole line of shirts/slogans that no one ever thought of. Subversive, cerebral, without boundaries..." I love everything so far and am going to buy mine today! I hope to run into some fellow twitards in our subversive gear sometime :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. This. Is. Hi-la-ri-ous! Love all the stuff! Does your merch ship to Europe?

    ReplyDelete
  41. How did you know that I needed 1) another coffee mug, 2) a baby onesie and 3) a sweatshirt all with your cute logo on them?!?!?! I. AM. IN. HEAVEN!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are our life now. Leave one!