Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Boo Boo Stewart to Play Seth Clearwater... "Boo Boo"?!

Beep be beep beep beep - We now bring you the 'Jenny Jerkface Rants Over Inane shit' Show.


Apparently this kid has it all - chops, talent, skillz, what-have-you. And I do think he's going to be perfect for Seth Clearwater.

But who the fuck would nickname their kid Boo Boo? I mean, I know his real name is Nils or Nada or Zero or something like that but... Boo Boo? Yikes.

I know, I know, he's just a youngster, only fifteen or something like that, and I shouldn't make fun of him.

There are a lot of things I shouldn't do. But that's never stopped me before, so why start now?


Like search for this picture. I felt like a gawddamn pedophile Googling this, just for the record. But at least now there is someone who can make Taycob look older by comparison...

I'm sorry, but with a name like 'Boo Boo' the only options this kid has are acting or becoming a serial killer. I suppose we should be thankful he chose the former, though he still has plenty of time to become the latter. I can see the headlines now: "Boo Boo Bloodbath! City Cowers in Fear!"

That nickname is going to bite him in the nuts when he gets a little older and starts becoming interested in the girls. Just sayin'. Good luck gettin' laid with that nickname, kid. (Unfortunately, he's young and innocent-looking enough that even I feel bad 'going there' so I won't but man, oh man, I want to.)

How much weed do you have to smoke to decide "Boo Boo" is a good stage name for your kid? Or did that name appear to them during a psychedelic peyote-fueled soul-fucking trip? It was bad enough when what's-her-face named her fucking kid Apple but Boo Boo?

It's Boo Boo for fuck sake!! Like a scrape on the arm or a torn-off limb. That is NOT a person's name, nickname or otherwise!


I know Boo Boo is supposed to be wicked talented and will probably hunt me down and show me his karate moves but I just can't help myself.





Holy crap, someone named their kid Boo Boo.

[shakes head]

Boo. Boo.

I think even Frank Zappa is thrashing around in his grave over this one...

37 comments:

  1. Jesus fucking christ Jenny, you crack me the fuck up!

    How much weed do you have to smoke to decide "Boo Boo" is a good stage name for your kid? Or did that name appear to them during a psychedelic peyote-fueled soul-fucking trip?

    I'm laughing my ass off... Boo Boo? I agree, that's just cruel! Like his mom had really really bad morning sickness and said, I'll get this little fucker back. I'll give him a nickname so bad, no girlie will touch him with a ten foot pole! What a bitch!

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  2. yeah, but think of the mileage he's gonna get out of the whole "kiss it and make it better" line.... might actually be fucking gen.i.us as a nickname. combined with being part of twilight, this kid will be unstoppable...

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  3. I had a woman that worked for named 'Bootie'--and FTR I aquired her I did not hire her..she was a trainwreck. JJ you just put into your prose what we are all thinking. Brilliant....perhaps he will switch to B.B. later--you might send him a letter suggesting that.

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  4. You had me at "Beep be beep beep beep"...Now I have Go Bayside! stuck in my head, and I'm sure that was never your intention.

    I have to read up on this BooBoo Stewart. Reporters will be making a lot of funny headlines when Eclipse rolls around.

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  5. LOL!! I don't know which is funnier now.. Boo Boo or your hillarious commentaries on Boo Boo.. hahahaha!! but Boo Boo is soo cute!(laughing again!) I can't say the word BB anymore...

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  6. I wonder if he has a brother named Yogi. He's smarter than the average bear (not wolf), you know.

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  7. JJ, Did you sparklyize your BooBoo picture? I didn't notice it at first on my microsized iPhone screen.
    Hahaha. Silly girl. Werewolves don't sparkle.
    :D

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  8. werewolves don't sparkle... but werebears might...

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  9. ....and I love the Moon Unit/Dweezil reference.
    ;)

    w/v: stameate. (stay meaty???)

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  10. ...or maybe Boobears do (sparkle).....
    Boowolves??

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  11. I have been saying "Hey BooBoo, gimme that picanic basket" in my best Yogi Bear voice all day. I am pretty sure I actually irritated my kids today instead of them irritating me.
    My daughter does get called Abey(AB), shortened from Anna-Bear, aka Anna-Leasa. Someone asked why I don't just call her baby. I was baffled.It was obvious to me, but not to others. I understand how nicknames are chosen.

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  12. God, I love it when you're off your meds, JJ. Fuckin' gold.

    You know, Donny Osmond tried for a while to be Don but it never did take. Does this kid and/or his family think he's going to hit 18 and just change that moniker to something mature and respectable? He's BooBoo (and it's one fucking word too) for life and he ain't never getting laid.

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  13. I <3's a good JJ rant!

    What type of pick up lines do you think he's gonna use when he's older?
    - "Hey, I'm a Boo Boo. You wanna kiss me and make me feel better?"

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  14. Those parents are the worst of evil!

    And Booboo so reminds me of a young Taytay. I bet Tayler will go all big brother over him.

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  15. Maybe as he gets older he'll start going by just "Boo"....

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  16. It's funny how doubling a word automatically robs it of its edginess. Boo by itself, not so bad. Like Boo Radley. That guy scared the pants off of Jem and Scout. But think if his name had been Boo Boo Radley. They would have thrown rocks at him and laughed. And then he would probably have killed them. You know, because like JJ said...serial killer and all.

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  17. HAH! The first time I saw his name, I thought it was a joke. I guess I was wrong. Nice dig on Zappa! lol


    Who the fuck names their kid boo boo anyway? I hope they use his real name in the movie credits. Boo Boo, wtf?!

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  19. This is a public service for my fellow fanfic fanatics. Last night was a good update night.

    The List, Tropic of Virgo, and Star Mile all updated yesterday.

    Also, if you have not read AngstGoddesses story Withering the Ferns, you should. It's FABULOUS. It's available at her live journal page. It's not as epic as WA (what ever will be?) but it's really, really good.

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  20. Thanks for the BooBoo update. He is too cute!!

    Love your blog today, very funny.

    I agree about whacked out parents calling their children "odd" names,,,perhaps that is why he learned karate.

    What is it anyway with these wolves and karate....I guess the Volturi are really going to have their sparkly asses handed to them on a plate.

    Jaima

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  21. Do you suppose Boo Boo has yuppie stage parents named Biff and Muffy? And isn't one of the new Voluturi cast members named Noot or something like that? What's up with all the freaky cast names? Why am I asking so many questions?

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  22. Okay, the boobears and boowolves freaking killed me.

    Poor BooBoo. He really is screwed (well, no he won't be) when he gets older.

    I guess he does need to know karate so he can kick everyone's ass when they make fun of him.

    And STY found the sparkly dude. Isn't he cute? Just like Boo Boo!

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  23. Reminds me of the Seinfeld Eposide where Jerry's friend (gah can't remember his name) and his GF susan got into an arguement about a fictious baby's name.

    The name was "seven". LOL.

    A freaking NUMBER!

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  24. How's this for a pick up line "Boo boo, kiss my boo boo".. Sounds rather rude..

    Shit! How the hell would you scare the poor kid if he had hiccups?? Boo! "Yes", "No, I meant Boo!", I said "Yes", "You aren't meant to turn around", "But you said my name!", Shit sake! It could go on for hours, you'd have to kick him in the friggin shins or something.

    Poor sod! :D

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  25. Boo boo was my first stuffed animal!! I stole it from a toy store when I was really, really little and my mom was too horrified to walk me back to the store so she just let me keep it. That's my boo boo story!
    Ok, going back to Seth. I was picturing Seth tall and gangly. B.B. looks like he should be on Hannah Montana. Just my thoughts..

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  26. Boo boo means one thing to me: droppin' a deuce.

    As in, "I gotta go boo boo, that 2-day-old burrito have me a gut twister!"

    I will never be able to refer to this kid without giggling.

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  27. LOL! i know! boo boo is so unfair with the poor kid, seriously, but before i was beginning to mock his name i watched the karate video and...gosh...he can totally kick my ass and chop me into little pieces with that silver thing before i can even say...boo boo.
    so i'm not gonna make fun of him xD
    see?? serial killer material!! he's preparing in case the actor thing doesn't work out!

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  28. Kay, I really can't talk about weird names, since I have one. But seriously, BooBoo? That's gotta have even Paula Yates (mother of Bob Geldof's kids Fifi Trixibell, Peaches and Pixie for those who don't know) spinning in her grave. Just think about it..."Oh BooBoo! Yeah, right there! OH BOOBOO!" That is so never gonna happen for that poor kid. Not unless he hooks up with one of the Geldof sisters, anyway. "Oh Fifi!" "Oh BooBoo!"
    Oh barf.

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  29. Banshee713, lol!! i didn't want to think of thaat!!! well now you have...seriously, saying "oh boo boo" is a total turn off, and could be really disturbing. hey, how are the fans gonna call him when he steps in the opening night of eclipse?? you can only say boo boo for some time before start to feel weird.

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  30. ok im 15 but this is fkn hilarious i actually thot of like kids at the pool if u kno wat i mean when i first heard his name lol im pretty sure that i could never date him i mean what would ur parents say when u tell him the guy youre bringin home goes by booboo wtf

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  31. I know this is like 2010 now but i'm still gonna post this....


    Boo boo is a pretty weird name, he used to put his fingers in his mouth when he was younger andhis mom used to say he had a 'boo boo face'.

    His real name is Nils Allen Stewart and that's also his dad's real name so it was hard to distinguish between them, which was why a nick- name was a good idea.

    As for him getting laid.....
    There are loads of his fans that would kill to even get to make out with him never mind do it. Check out a website dedicated to him.
    I, for one, would love to go out with him and be his girl friend, but I live in Northern Ireland and no- one really ever comes over here, they just go to London so I have no chance of even getting a photo with him.

    But the main reason I like him is because of the charector he plays, I'm a totally decicated member of Team Seth Clearwater!!! And I think that BooBoo makes the perfect Seth<3

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  32. You had me at "Beep be beep beep beep"...Now I have Go Bayside! stuck in my head, and I'm sure that was never your intention.

    I have to read up on this BooBoo Stewart. Reporters will be making a lot of funny headlines when Eclipse rolls around.

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  33. I wonder if he has a brother named Yogi. He's smarter than the average bear (not wolf), you know.

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  34. yeah, but think of the mileage he's gonna get out of the whole "kiss it and make it better" line.... might actually be fucking gen.i.us as a nickname. combined with being part of twilight, this kid will be unstoppable...

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  35. LOL!! I don't know which is funnier now.. Boo Boo or your hillarious commentaries on Boo Boo.. hahahaha!! but Boo Boo is soo cute!(laughing again!) I can't say the word BB anymore...

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