Thursday, August 20, 2009

OME The Vampsicle Is Here!!! [TOTALLY NSFW - Don't Say We Didn't Warn Ya'!]

I want to show you something...

So you know you've thought about it... And now you, too, can have your very own vampsicle vampire dildo!!!

Thanks to VitaminR70 for bringing this to our attention! According to her, it's all over Facebook, but Facebook brings out my inner technophobe like nothing else on the planet, so I had been unaware of it's existence until last night... And in a remarkable (even for me!) and completely breathtaking display of poor judgment, I decided to write about it right here from the comfort of my office. Woo-hoo! Next stop: the unemployment line! All aboard!!! But it had to be done...

Want to see my cold, hard, sparkle-peen? Yes, you do.


Here's all the info from the website where you can pre-order this if you dare [you HAVE to read all the Twilight-y references! Although I have no frigging clue what Halloween has to do with anything unless you going to a nudist costume party and want to get creative...]:


Updated by popular request... Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.

The Vamp is a web only exclusive offering through TantusInc.com for $39.99. We are currently taking pre-orders for this one of a kind toy. We will be shipping them first come first serve starting 9/1/09. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today.


You can bleach it! Boil it! Run it through the dishwasher! [ok I admit I have a problem with that last one... Sex toys and dinner plates shouldn't mix imho...] Plus it's phfh-something-free!! Er, according to the video below... I have absolutely no idea what that is but I am assuming you don't want it in your hoo-hoo.



Need a little eye candy while playing with your new sparkle-toy??? They have suggestions! Of course, I might suggest a few choice YouTube videos, your Twilight DVD, and maybe a copy of GQ, but that's me...

Tantus suggests the following movies if you enjoy The Vamp. Talk about Expert Advice!
  • The Lost Boys
  • Fright Night 1 and 2
  • Twilight
  • Interview with the Vampire
  • Bram Stoker's Dracula
  • True Blood TV Series
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series
  • Angel TV Series

P.S. Ummmm... 6.75 inches??? REALLY?! C'mon people - don't we all think that Edward is a packin' a little more punch than that??? I demand size options! And honestly, this is still going to leave SOME people lusting after a cold, sparkly vibrator. In the meantime, you might just want to discreetly chuck some glitter in the direction of DH's junk when he's not paying attention. But if you'd rather take matters into your own hands [pun absolutely intended], order your very own vampsicle HERE.

My vampire penis, that is...

80 comments:

  1. Bastards! They stole my idea. (even if it was just a joke)

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  2. Aaaaggghh!! You just made me embarassingly snort out loud at work and I'm SO glad nobody walked up behind me while I was innocently reading... STY, I may be joining you soon in that unemployment line, but I'm guessing we'll both have happy smiles on our faces.

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  3. By the way, I didn't realize what NSFW meant until it was too late...
    (my verification word is phoolur - very appropriate)

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  4. @mmMoxie - there's still some work to be done here imho - although it looks like they mayy have had a little help from a twi-fan here, they didn't check with us! lol...

    @Twilove1 - sorry you had to figure "not suitable for work" out the hard way - lol! That's the school of hard knocks for sure...

    : )

    p.s. i have a nearly-impossible-to-resist urge to go to the website of the company that makes this product so that i can send them an email about the blog post but even i have to draw the line at going to a sex-toy store on the work 'puter. is it time to go home yet?!

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  5. Hahaha STY. What if they hired you and JJ to do the marketing for the "Vamp". I don't even want to know what your ads would look like. Actually I do! Now if this Vamp came attached to a certain someone (who looks like Rob), credit card would be out, phone in hand, next day shipment please!

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  6. And don't forget it's "handcrafted with pride" - can you just hear it... omg dude, I made the most fucking kick ass dildo at work today. It fucking sparkles dude!

    I was dying laughing (or trying desperately to stifle my laughter as I'm at work!!)

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  7. I agree that it's lacking in size, fo sho! That is pretty average. If you ask me, it should vibrate too and not wimpy AA batteries either, plug that sucker in!

    I wonder if Rob would be mortified if he knew that Twitards want a replica of his wiener to masturbate with. If I were him, I'd block it out of my mind.

    SORRY ROB :)

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  8. OMG this is fucking ca-razy! For a vamp peen, it's awfully pink, don't you think? Shouldn't it be more of an alabaster white?...Hmmm I guess if we're gonna get picky, it'd be as hard as granite too.

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  9. We should have patented (Pattinsoned it, more like!) it ages ago when we were initially discussing this!! perhaps a Pattinson Popsicle Mold? (a la the Daniel Craig on that is out there)

    Anyway, it could only get better if it sparkled. That is all!
    xo

    Veri word is "cotonick" which I keep reading as "cottondick"

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  10. Shit, did anyone see the pics of Kellen jogging the other day!?

    http://twicrackaddict.blogspot.com/2009/08/kellan-goes-for-run-and-i-dont-know.html

    I'll take my Vamp in the Emmett size, please. Please?

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  11. OME, that's just too funny!

    Too small if you ask me, Especially with all the Fic Edwards running around packing serious heat, 8 inches is more what I picture, and I don't recall seeing a girth measurement...hmmmm....

    Verification word "thapp" like the noises being made between bodies during sexy times, lol.

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  12. You are all wanton harlots!!! LOL!!

    But this tone of pink isn't working for me...and batteries to boot!
    Endurance demands a plug in...do you see any battery operated roto rooters out there???

    Poor Rob, he must feel like he is being divided up in small portions and marketed!!

    "Handcrafted with pride" slays me..

    Jaima

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  13. This needs the audio link of Rob saying, "I'm just a tool. A HARD Tool."
    I would post it on my blog but I don't have the balls! ;D

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  14. Hahaha this is crazy!!!! I can't stop laughing at work!!! Are you kidding me??? My god! That would be interesting!!! Good way to have fun and sparks!!! haha I agree it should be longer than that!

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  15. Toss it in the fridge?! Just what I've always wanted, for my sexy time to feel more like a visit to the gyno.

    I think RPattz is gonna die when he sees this. Like literally lay down and die of embarrassment. KStew will never let him live it down. I love it!

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  16. Damarys here ....I can't stop laughing ...love it ..but like you I think that our Rob packs more , I will point out not because I'm dirty minded ( which I'm but so what ) that he has very long fingers , and he is tall , so all things being equal he has to be more than that ...only saying ! on the other hand could they get the real Rob to cast for the model just to be authentic ? now that would be too much no ? truth be told my own husband is more than that and yeas I have asked him if I could put sparkles on him ...( he said he would think about it ) goodness I do love this blog , it just made my week ...thank you so much .....

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  17. I want to know who is going to break down and buy the thing simply because it's Twi-related....

    And how the hell would you explain that to the kids as they went to grab the ice cream.....

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  18. @Amy D - Thanks a bunch for the visual! I've already had a few close calls with my 7-year-old finding the C-volt boyfriend. Having her ask me about a vampsicle would definitely put one of us in therapy for a few years.

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  19. lol!!!

    i was thinking the same thing - who else is gonna come across that thing should you pop it in the fridge or the freezer for a spell (or the effing dishwasher! "oh no, no, kid/husband/anyone - DON'T empty the dishwasher - NOOOO!!).

    and i want to state for the record that I didn't mention Rob once!! didn't use a Rob picture, either... I figured not doing my usual muddying of the Rob/Edward line was the least I could do. I guess that's what I think passes for some level of respect these days. Is that sad???

    : )

    oh and JJ and I saw that pic of kellan the other day and we both almost choked. but then i thought of the "taycob in sweats" pic and hurled a little in my mouth over the whole thing. ugh. and someone needs to get rob out of his jeans and into some sweats, stat. i never thought i'd want to see a guy trade in button-fly jeans for sweats, but you know where i'm going with this... yes, he does have very nice hands... with long fingers... what's his shoe size, someone? (i actually think i know this somehow but I am too embarrassed to admit it even to myself - wtf is wrong with me?!).

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  20. Is anyone srsly considering buying this?

    "Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. "

    Ohh dear lord..those people writing lines like that really have a hilar job!

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  21. Um, I think they're 11's (hangs head in embarrassment that I know) but they LOOK huge! Especially when he's in wingtips. Pulling my mind out of the sewer now and getting back to work — well, at least until another post comes up that I can't ignore!

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  22. i really wish i had the balls to post a link to that on facebook. i seriously almost fell out of my chair at work laughing and then immediately deleted all browser history. ome. i showed it to my bff/sharer of twilove and she said "anyone who bought a twilight inspired dildo needs to be baker acted stat."

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  23. OMFG...I am so glad no one else is home right now while I'm trolling the blogs on our full sized computer as opposed to my usual tiny Iphone. I'm laughing, crying, snorting, peed my pants a little --hell I'm leaking all over the place! I'm glad to see there are no limits to how far you will "go there" in the name of entertaining/informing your bloggy friends. And I just want to know who is going to take this thing outside to inspect the sparkles in the sunlight? You girls rule! Gotta say I'm thinking the 6.75 would indeed be an insult to our Robward. (wink wink..at least in my mind)

    Okay, now I need to figure out how to get this thing off my internet history before I have some 'splainen to do.

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  24. Ok, I just choked on my candy bar. These comments are getting hilarious. I feel so safe on here! I heart Twitarded and it's followers!

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  25. "I heart Twitarded and its followers."

    I agree. I have as much fun playing in the comments sections as I do reading the original postings.

    W/V: omyeres (oh my eyes...are burning, bring on the bleach)

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  26. We should have Twitarded conventions instead of Twilight conventions.

    That would be a lot more fun! The booze would be a flowin'. I have a feeling I would end of vomiting at the end of the night since the older I get, the less liquor I can hold.

    Imagine the pictures STY and JJ would post after a Twitarded convention.

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  27. @mmMoxie- great idea. If there was a Twitarded convention, I just know that STY and JJ would go all out to get RPatz there, even if he was bound and gagged in the back seat of their car. They're just that dedicated and crazy. (Not that I'm suggesting such a thing, of course...)

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  28. I will sell my children for bail money. :D. Haha

    .....RPATTZ bound and gagged in the trunk of the Twitarded mobile....lovin it!

    Hey do you guys have one of those windowless white rapist/serial- killer- type vans?? I'm just askin...

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  29. Holy shit! I can't even believe my eyes/ears... oh wait, yes I can - I just remember where I was!! So I'm totally down with you guys... the 6.75" is a total insult to our sparkly friend. I was just saying the other day, it's those tall skinny guys who'll really surprise you with the size of their, um, package. I should know, I'm married to one... and I may or may not have done other research in the past!! LOL! I'm convinced RPattz would NOT disappoint us ladies!

    And I totally vote for a Twitarded convention with a bound and gagged certain vampire in a very nondescript white van (with blacked out windows don't forget!!)

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  30. Please, Please, PLEASE...can I be on the nabbing of the vamp?

    If we can swing the details between sept 2 and 19th I will be in Toronto, which is a Hell of a lot closer than I am now...in southern Mexico...where I have NO Twi support at all.

    Jaima

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  31. Count me on the Twitarded Convention.. God bless anyone who came across our group. I would hate to think what we would do to them.. I mean what they would think of us!

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  32. I think it's safe to say that where ever a Twitarded convention would be held, we'd be kick out and banned within 2 hours. (especially if we kidnapped the afore mentioned vampire.)

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  33. I'm so in for the Twitarded convention! I would love to spend a weekend drinking with all of you! (And a certain vampire...) We need to make this happen!

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  34. (finally got to look now that I'm not at work)

    LMAO So this brings a whole new meaning to the term "Pocket Edward"... and um pocket edward should be a bit more well endowed than 6.75". I can picture Bella on the wedding night... I waited for this... wha wha. That's why you always test drive before you buy ;)


    p.s. twitarded convention 2010! I'm in!

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  35. OK, I just wrote this really funny long comment and it got lost in the abyss somewhere--dammit. I shall try and re-create.

    I would just like to say how freakin' awesome it is that the comments have gone from talking about the sparkle peen to the size of Rob's pecker to having a Twitarded convention...I must say that I am home here and you all warm the cockles (ha!) of my heart.

    When I saw that link on FB yesterday I risked my employment with the state of Washington and clicked away...before you could say "This link belongs on Twitarded" I had sent it along to our fearless leaders. Who else could literally write paragraphs about a sparkly dildo?

    Twitarded convention? Well, the word convention kind of gives me the creeps but a Twitarded Bender I may be persuaded to attend. I think we should hook up at Kalaloch Lodge on the Olympic Peninsula--I will bring the Vitamin R!

    It is our destiny b/c my veriword is, I shit you not, 'booznwe'as in "You and me, we all booznwe!"

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  36. Wait... none of you have ordered yours yet? I'm the only one? Fuck.

    Just kidding! If you could hook it up to a 9 Volt or car battery maybe but... 6.75 inches? That's it?

    And no way in hell do I A) want to put a dildo in my fridge (dear lawd I hope my mom doesn't read this post) B)put a freezing cold dildo near my hoo-hoo.

    The whole sparkly thing is kinda weird too. I mean, who cares? If you're using it for its intended purpose, that baby ain't gonna see the light of day.

    If we all ever end up at a Twilight convention, there will be arrests made. That's all I'm sayin'... LOL!

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  37. @Vitamin R - HA HA HA! Just read your comment.

    Kalaloch Lodge would never know what hit them if we all showed up there but I can assure you, they'll never allow us back!

    And my WV is monyloca. So fitting...

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  38. I would definitely cough up a couple hundred bucks (bail money excluded) for a Twitarded convention before I would a 'normal' Twilight event where you run the risk of the only celeb showing: BooBoo!

    Hmmm, I wonder which blogpost will convince Rob to attend... Pooping in his trailer? Why JJ could not stalk Rob? Hair porn? Perhaps Mini-Edward at the ER? He may just come on his own accord. Or double his security. Could go either way.

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  39. Oh my...one of the funniest yet...

    I just bought a new toy. The name: The Wallbanger. Yup. When I saw that I HAD to get it (thanks to the FF of the same name). My hubby has named it "Edward Wallbanger." Yup. You know what else? It has a suction cup on the end. Took me forever to figure out why. This adds a entire new level of difficulty (and danger)to taking a shower.

    A Twitarded convention sounds like a raging drinkfest - I am in!

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  40. oh man we love you [consults Creative Cursing book] tampon lickers [ok to be honest "cunt face" came up first but it doesn't do plural as well imho. or maybe it does... it's kinda growing on me now...]

    TwitardedCon 2010: If you build it and stock it with enough liquor, they will come...

    I happen to drive a white Subaru Forester and I'd be more than willing to black out the windows and lower the back seats to make a roomy cargo area for a good cause... Close enough???

    : )

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  41. @Kristen - Holy shit. I have a hard enough time shaving my legs in the shower. Try explaining to the paramedics why you have a cracked open skull and a dildo suction cupped to the shower wall.

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  42. Oh, btw, those last two comments under 'Jenny' are me. Not sure what happened there...

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  43. Holy Crap! haha Could you imagine a kid getting it out of the fridge asking if it's the new "Boo Boo Bunny", holy friggin cold cock!! That would be hilarious, especially if you had company over and kids holding it to it's head, haha God we are friggin sick, bloody love it..

    That or it could be your new twizzle stick for your 'Edwartini' jug. haha

    Yeah- Twitarded Convention the only place to be.. :D

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  44. "Get a cold one out of the fridge" certainly takes on a new meaning.

    hahahaha :D

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  45. Just thought, you would get chapped lips with that thing!! haha Yes, vag ones....

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  46. It should say ...

    "Hand tossed with pride" haha

    Shit I am on a friggin roll.. HELP!

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  47. Would it be inappropriate to put this on my Christmas list?

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  48. ...I don't remember ever laughing as hard as today I had to let my husband read the comments he thought I was losing my mind I was hysterically laughing by myself ...he did have a point , he said no self respected tall guy would admit to a 6.75 " so if you bought it pls ask for you money back ... you guys rock really ....!!!

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  49. i just, idk what to say about that exactly........ im just ummmm.... dumbfounded?

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  50. Limey you KILL me! omfg you are too funny!!!

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  51. You're impossibly long and hard. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You keep me busy in my room for hours. How long are you?

    Approximately 6.75 inches

    That's all?... I know what you are.

    Say it. Say it out loud.

    Vamp.. dildo!

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  52. Oh, please! A Twitarded convention?!?!? I'd go anywhere!!! I was at lunch with an employee when I saw this. I spit out my drink I was laughing so hard. Thank God he's immune to completely inappropriate conversations/pictures, because I just HAD to show someone!! (Well, I hope he is, or make room in that unemployment line!!)

    The fridge part is what slays me. Seriously? I can't fathom what it would even feel like... and I'm not even curious to know... I am normal, right?

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  53. @THpakle now that's really funny ...

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  54. LMAO, really, that's all I have to say.
    Oh, and my DH is 6'6" and wears a size 15 shoe- 6.75 ain't gonna cut it in this whore house....

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  55. So am I the only one who would actually consider buying it????

    Should I be ashamed???

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  56. I also posted about this yesterday, but I didn't post that I noticed the suction cup on the bottom. I definitely know what that's for, but my mom reads my blog!

    Because of that, I also couldn't go into detail about how pissed I was that it was only about 6 inches. I mean, really. Who do they think they are dealing with here? The people buying this have already been fantasizing about Edward ween for awhile, and I'm sure 6 inches wasn't anywhere around. They should definitely add sizing options for sure.

    BTW, I have nearly peed my pants laughing at these comments, so thanks everyone!

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  57. OMGoodness! This is hilarious! It's a good thing i finished my coffee or it would have ended up in my nose or all over my computer screen (Hubby would not have been pleased). JJ & STY, you ladies are a blast. I don't read the comments very often, but I'm glad I did this time. Please, please if there is going to be a twitardcon 2010 let us know well in advance. This SAHM is gonna have some major savin to do :) And off the record i would totally help kidnap a certain gorgeous vamp.

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  58. I'm new here at Twitarded but I'm so there if you ladies ever dedice to have a TwitardCon! Between you guys, JJ & STY @ Twitarted and LTT I def get my morning laughs..... that wakes me up like nothing else!
    Thanx for that.

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  59. This is just too funny, I'm snorting away and thank god I'm working from home today...

    I can't get over the throw it in the fridge comment... Really... Hmmm... Could be fun... Wonder what hubby would say... They should really offer larger sizes 6.5 inches just ain't going to do!

    As for a twitarded get together count me in!! Hell if we’re going to hit the Olympic Peninsula, we might as well all converge on Forks! It would never be the same afterward and we probably wouldn't be allowed back!

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  60. We keep an "owie bear" frozen gel thing in the freezer for when one of my kids bangs their head too hard on something (yeah, it happens all the time. I guess that explains their brain-damaged behavior). Anyway, I can only imagine the horror of walking into to the kitchen to see a toddler crying and holding the vampsicle up to the bump on his forehead. Might as well call child protective services now.

    **TwitardCon 2010!!**

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  61. OMG the video says it is dishwasher safe...oh I can just picture that...

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  62. About three things I am absolutely positive.

    First, this Edward dildo is freaking awesome.

    Second, there is a part of me-and I don’t know how potent that part of me might be-that thirsts for a naughty, cold dildo.

    And third, I could fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love with a 6.75 inch, phthalate free, sparkly dildo.

    Sidenote: Shouldn't this thing be uncut... much like both Edward and Rob would be???? Huh??

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  63. @Rachael - WOW, I never thought about him being "uncut"... lol

    so the only thing I can think of is getting one of these vampsicles, putting it in said freezer & then being robbed (not by Rob) in the middle of the night... telling said robber that my "jewels" are in the freezer, then taking out said jewels, and (sorry, just couldn't resist) cold-cocking the sucker! i can picture the cops trying to figure out exactly how i'd managed to knock out the intruder... lol

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  64. @rachel ... uncut!? noooo! *don't go there brain... don't picture it!! don't... don't, dammit! ugh* no turtle necks please. cut men supposedly last longer anyway ;)

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  65. Oh no you didn't. (Rachael) I have been trying hard not to think about this and you had to go and bring it up. Because I've lived in Southern California my whole life and not done a whole lotta world traveling, I'm only familiar with one way. (Well some travelling. But nothing that included this kind of..ahem..research) I hate to even ask. I'm so embarrassed. (trying not to look myself in the mirror because I am judging.) Um...so...if...say a man was born and raised in England...in say the last quarter century...according to local custom... would he most likely be..um..uncut?? yikes. I felt like KStewbella stammering like that, but I'm so embarrassed that I'm even pondering that sort of thing. If anyone actually reads to the end of this post, just give me a discreet handsign or something. Don't look me directly in the eyes, I'll be too distracted blushing.

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  66. @TwiFixx, tell the truth ...would you really really care ?
    The thing is to know for sure we have to "know " for sure even if it culturaly makes sence one never knows this thigs ...Oh darn I did go there and now what do I do , like you I'm blushing too ....bad bad bad really bad ...need a shower now so off I go ...

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  67. Really care?? No no not that I "care" one way or another. I just don't want to know something that intimate about a real person. I know it's a contradiction cuz I did ask. I just can't keep my brain from going there. Aagh. Erase erase erase.

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  68. I was married to a Brit and according to him, all dudes are uncut there (exception for religious reasons).

    Trust me, it doesn't make a lick (pun intended) of difference unless you're screwing a disgusting, filthy uncut man, but would you want to screw a disgusting, filthy cut man? I didn't think so.

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  69. Okay. Curiosity is officially killing this cat.
    Meh.

    W/V: chiessin-don't know why, just sounds gross to me.
    :P

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  70. I agree that if we are going to go full on fantasy it needs to be less pink and more sparkly!

    As for this convention....what if we could time an place it for the filming of Breaking Dawn. Us Twitards would give a whole new meaning to the phrase "Set Stalking"!!! Come on ladies you know you want to! Arrests would definetly be made. I'll start my bail fund now!

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  71. Whatever about the lovely Rob, I bet literary Edward is packing a LOT more than 6 3/4 inches. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect voice - surely he also has the perfect knob?

    As for Rob, well, my sister has a theory. She reckons he's too perfect - gorgeous, a great musician, actor etc and also seems to be a nice guy. So she thinks that either he's a total tool (pun intended, hehe)in RL, or he's really small. Or maybe gay. But she's insane, so I usually just ignore her.

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  72. Whoa, wait a minute, take it out in the sunlight?! I live in the arsehole of nowhere so I have no neighbours, but what if the postman came, or the guy who owns the horses in the next field?
    "Well hi there, I was just watching my vampire dildo sparkle in the sunlight. Wanna look? How's the wife?" Gah. There's a Christmas party I won't be invited to this year...

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  73. Ok so I read this a couple of days ago but I had 2 come bak and comment coz 1. It's quite possibly th funniest blog entry I've ever read and 2. I'm totally gonna buy this as a novelty bday prezzie 4 my best friend. If they still sell it - it sucks coming from the future sumtimes!
    Oh I just hope she don't open her presents infront of her family. I'll sign the card "from Mathab, JJ & STY" hehehe

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  74. I just thought...why the fuck does it need 2 sparkle outside? Maybe I'm just old fashioned but who even contemplates using sommet like this outside? Are there many women sat in parks/ their gardens doing this sorta thing?
    And also I'm agreeing with everyone else - the fridge? Really? Because that's just what you want when guests/children/parents are getting a snack (I'm lazy...ppl make their own shit when they come over). Lolz it just ain't something I wanna see when grabbing a sandwich. Unless I'm wanting to choke on said sandwich.
    Gotta say the comments on this post made me laugh just as much as the post - u bitches are hilarious

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  75. OK, I just wrote this really funny long comment and it got lost in the abyss somewhere--dammit. I shall try and re-create.

    I would just like to say how freakin' awesome it is that the comments have gone from talking about the sparkle peen to the size of Rob's pecker to having a Twitarded convention...I must say that I am home here and you all warm the cockles (ha!) of my heart.

    When I saw that link on FB yesterday I risked my employment with the state of Washington and clicked away...before you could say "This link belongs on Twitarded" I had sent it along to our fearless leaders. Who else could literally write paragraphs about a sparkly dildo?

    Twitarded convention? Well, the word convention kind of gives me the creeps but a Twitarded Bender I may be persuaded to attend. I think we should hook up at Kalaloch Lodge on the Olympic Peninsula--I will bring the Vitamin R!

    It is our destiny b/c my veriword is, I shit you not, 'booznwe'as in "You and me, we all booznwe!"

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  76. I would definitely cough up a couple hundred bucks (bail money excluded) for a Twitarded convention before I would a 'normal' Twilight event where you run the risk of the only celeb showing: BooBoo!

    Hmmm, I wonder which blogpost will convince Rob to attend... Pooping in his trailer? Why JJ could not stalk Rob? Hair porn? Perhaps Mini-Edward at the ER? He may just come on his own accord. Or double his security. Could go either way.

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  77. OMFG...I am so glad no one else is home right now while I'm trolling the blogs on our full sized computer as opposed to my usual tiny Iphone. I'm laughing, crying, snorting, peed my pants a little --hell I'm leaking all over the place! I'm glad to see there are no limits to how far you will "go there" in the name of entertaining/informing your bloggy friends. And I just want to know who is going to take this thing outside to inspect the sparkles in the sunlight? You girls rule! Gotta say I'm thinking the 6.75 would indeed be an insult to our Robward. (wink wink..at least in my mind)

    Okay, now I need to figure out how to get this thing off my internet history before I have some 'splainen to do.

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  78. Damarys here ....I can't stop laughing ...love it ..but like you I think that our Rob packs more , I will point out not because I'm dirty minded ( which I'm but so what ) that he has very long fingers , and he is tall , so all things being equal he has to be more than that ...only saying ! on the other hand could they get the real Rob to cast for the model just to be authentic ? now that would be too much no ? truth be told my own husband is more than that and yeas I have asked him if I could put sparkles on him ...( he said he would think about it ) goodness I do love this blog , it just made my week ...thank you so much .....

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  79. Toss it in the fridge?! Just what I've always wanted, for my sexy time to feel more like a visit to the gyno.

    I think RPattz is gonna die when he sees this. Like literally lay down and die of embarrassment. KStew will never let him live it down. I love it!

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