Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Twilight Widower Says "Sayonara For Now!"

We'll miss you, TW (and your special way with Photoshop...).

Let me preface this whole thing by nipping any speculation in the bud and stating for the record that the Twilight Widower is not my husband, nor is he JJ's s/o. I've never had the pleasure of meeting TW or his Twilight-lovin' Mrs., but maybe someday if I'm in the 'Couve I can set up a play-date for the men-folk and Mrs. Widower and I can go set-stalking or something.

A brief history of Twilight Widower/Twilight Widowers Anonymous:

TW burst onto the Twi-scene in late April, making his feeling on his wife's much-adored, completely dog-eared copy of Twilight apparent:

Oh no he didn't! Er, yes, he did. And we loved it!

Shortly thereafter, he sent an email to us here at Twitarded saying he liked JJ's post on Mini-E vs. Soundwave - and he gave us a shout-out in the form of his My Lame Obsession Could Totally Beat Up Your Lame Obsession post. And it was absolutely hysterical, so naturally we blogged about it. And then things went completely fucking bonkers. I've never seen anything like it! In less than 24 hours, he was a bona-fide Twibloggy celebrity and his followers list read like a Who's-Who of Twilight bloggers (I am happy to confess that yours truly was the first).

Twilight Widower struck a chord in the key of Twitard (and the men and women who love us) everywhere! His droll, tongue-in-cheek humor had us all rolling at how ridiculous our obsession is - and made us feel for the neglected s/o's in our lives. I think TwiCrack may have burst into tears after reading Typical day in the Life of Twilight Widower, proclaiming what a shiteous Twi-wife she was - and I was sobbing - mostly from laughter - right there with her... I even got Mr. Snarky to read it, and much head-nodding in agreement ensued.

Despite the Twials and Twibulations of being a TwiWidow, he managed to maintain a sense of humor...

Nothing better than a cheap date that ends with a slightly tipsy and possibly horny wife, right?

I even forgave him (eventually) when he completely and irrevocably ruined my favorite screen-saver pic from the V Man outtakes -

Why, TW? WHYYYY?!

But alas, the star that burns brightest burns fastest... Like everyone else, I wanted more TW and I watched my blogroll anxiously, waiting for an update. And waited... and waited... and waited... and... nothing. Eventually, his blog languished unchallenged for its place at the very bottom of the list, taunting me each and every mother humpin' day with this charming pic of Zombie Robward (truth be told I took down the thumbnail pics on the blogroll just so I didn't have to look at it anymore).

After a while I couldn't take the bloggy silence (or that pic!) anymore, so I emailed TW and demanded an explanation for his absence [OK, in reality I sent him a nice email asking if everything was ok and telling him he was missed and I was fielding queries as to his whereabouts from the Twidom and when was he gonna post something again for fuck's sake?!].

Sadly, he told me that he and his blog are on an indefinite hiatus...

Given that his city has recently been over-run with the Twilight cast now that Eclipse has begun filming, it is entirely possible that we may hear from him again at some point. But I don't want to give anyone false hope, as he gave me permission to pass along the word that we shouldn't count on him entertaining us with his delightfully dry humor and tales of his abject fortune any time soon.

We will miss you, TW! Please come back soon! And please tell the Mrs. that Robward is so close that she can probably feel the tingle of his pheromones... You know that weird feeling she's been having lately? The one that makes the hair at the nape of her neck tingle (among other things!)? Yup, that's him! Don't try to fight it, Mrs. TW! He's calling you and you-know-what's only going to be around to satisfy your vampy needs for another couple of weeks--then what are you gonna do?! Re-read Twilight and hit the Twi-blogs, that's what... You know you want to...one of us...one of us...).

For the record, TW, I'm looking forward to you being at the top of my blogroll again one day soon and mocking us in the way that only you can, but until then... So long, farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye...

28 comments:

  1. that jus makes me sad..... a few weeks ago i asked if anyone knew where he went...... guess we are just going to miss his humor.... awwww

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  2. That is truly a bummer. How dare that man have a life that doesn't involve entertaining us? R.I.P. ya hoser! (and I mean that affectionately)

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  3. Oh noes! That is sad! I laughed buckets with his dry sense of humor and passed the link along to my non-twitarded friends who absolutely loathe anything starting with a Twi and they loved his blog!
    Oh... never can say goodbye... :~

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  4. I often wondered what happened to TW. I will miss his hilar posts.......now if you twiches up and leave us twitarded fans behind without some kinda notice, we won't know what to do with ourselves. Oh hells to tha no!

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  5. wtforks. i got a chill at the end of the song there. that wasn't supposed to happen. I'M NOT THAT BIG OF A BABY!

    but, I TOO will miss you TW! I think you gave my boyfriend reassurance that he is not the only one...(though us Twitards already knew that)

    So long, TW! Hope you do decide to come back some day!

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  6. bummer dudes! that blog was epic.

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  7. Oh that sucks. So nice of you STY to pay homage to the Twi-husband that made of us all laugh hysterically.

    Love the video choice....love the thought of you searching for that on YouTube. Hee! Hee!

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  8. OMG I just started exploring your blog...not a good idea. Don't you girls have any respect for the hard-working-could-do-without-embarrassing-lol-in-the-office moments. Thank you so much and love you for making me laugh!

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  9. He´s great and I miss him! I go from time to time to see if he might have written something in the comments, but no luck! The NKOTB pics and the comparison were priceless it just cracked me up!

    I even gave MrV this link so that he sees that he´s not the only one struggling with a Twicrazy wife.

    My only hope it, that now they started filming in Vancouver and that´s where he lives and hopefully his wife is still one of us..

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  10. *sniff*

    i'm still going to keep him on TwiCrack's blogroll, just in case he returns.

    sob.

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  11. oh my god, i had NEVER seen that blog before and i am sitting here at work IN TEARS it's sooo funny!

    he can't just leave us like that!

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  12. I so sad... he was one funny sum bitch!

    Come back soon TW!! We miss you.

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  13. I was wondering about TwiWidower. And like you, I would peek at it every other day, dreading that horrible zombie picture...but hoping I'd see a new post. Just last Friday I took his link off my iGoogle homepage

    Thanks for the update! I'll miss you TwiWidower and the many laughs I had reading your blog!

    As always TwiTarded - you gals rock! Just got confirmation my pin is on it's way - can't wait!

    (I'm so tempted to get a Twitarded thong... I might just have to so I can wear them on 11/20 in honor of the TwiTards!!!!!). =}}}}}

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  14. Just like Edward, he's left us in the forest to suffer alone without him. *Sigh*

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  15. His was the first site I found in Twilightdom. The "Am I an Enabler" link led me to Twitarded. I will be forever grateful to him for making me feel a little less like a complete moron. Well, I still feel like that, but, atleast I know that I am not alone.

    I still think his 'reaping the benifits' post was the funniest thing ever. I have never heard the phrase 'rode me like a boat' before and I laugh everytime I think about it. Or maybe his breakdown of which superhero could totally kick Edward's ass. And I am sorry, but the Mushroom Ravioli recipe was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Who does that? Anyway, he made me laugh. I will miss him.

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  16. Boo hoo! Twilight Widower was the first blog I ever posted a comment on! Tears were rolling down my face as I stared at a photo of future RPatz smokin' and drinkin' (Keith Richards). After that, I was hooked! I hope he comes back!!!

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  17. I appreciate the confirmation - I figured he moved on to things less important than Twilight, but held out hope before I removed TW from bookmarks. I think I actually found Twitarded through his blog, so I'll be eternally grateful to his sarcastic, witty ass.

    And I agree - if you (JJ & STY) decide to get a life some day that doesn't involve this blog, PLEASE give us plenty of notice so therapists can be hired, mass quantities of alcohol can be bought, etc...

    Twilight without humor = scary, slightly pathetic obsession (We won't go there)

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  18. Hi Ladies,

    Thanks for the wonderful intro to TW and his wonderful blog.

    That man has an amazing ability to write very funny and yet true blogs.

    I hope he continues with the blog as much as I hope he is writing a book.

    Keith Richards left me gasping for breath ( in the non sexual way).

    Have a great day.

    Jaima

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  19. I just noticed yesterday too that he was at the bottom of the blog list and was wondering what was up. Damn, so he New Moon'd us, huh? I even sent my hubby TW blog links a few times because they were so hysterical (and I was secretly hoping that they would help him understand my whole Twilight fixation. Didn't work.)

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  20. It's sad...he was so good...but he probably didn't want to devolve into what my blog has become which is usually last minute dreck that I pull out of my butt because my brain isn't functioning anymore. I'm glad he got out when he was still on the top of his game.

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  21. :-( I'll miss him. I was a devoted reader and spent many a night reading his blog aloud to DH while we both laughed to tears. I'll pass the word on to hubby, he'll be bummed too.

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  22. I found you guys through his site. There is good in this world.

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  23. Thanks for updating us STY! TWA's blog was the funniest thing I'd read in a long time...except for here, of course!

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  24. His was one of the first blog I found and I rushed to show my husband and we both laughed till we cried. Soooo funny. I've been checking back too and feeling the sinking heart when the zombies came up once again. Thanks for the update and I hope he feels the inspiration to come back and riff again soon. It's just needed...

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  25. I've felt like the TwilightWidower's Widow for weeks and weeks. I miss him and will continue to. No one has replaced him..and..sigh..never will.
    Thanks STY for reaching out to TW...for him and his fans! And I know with Eclipse back in the 'Couve, we need him the most -I hope he will make an appearance..like Cher with her upteenth comeback tour! No Judging here TW. Comeback to us soon!

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  26. His was one of the first blog I found and I rushed to show my husband and we both laughed till we cried. Soooo funny. I've been checking back too and feeling the sinking heart when the zombies came up once again. Thanks for the update and I hope he feels the inspiration to come back and riff again soon. It's just needed...

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  27. Hi Ladies,

    Thanks for the wonderful intro to TW and his wonderful blog.

    That man has an amazing ability to write very funny and yet true blogs.

    I hope he continues with the blog as much as I hope he is writing a book.

    Keith Richards left me gasping for breath ( in the non sexual way).

    Have a great day.

    Jaima

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