Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bella & "The Whole Wedding Mess"

Image from fanpop!

I'm currently on Breaking Dawn in my Twilight Saga Reading Cycle (no point in saying "I'm re-re-re-re-reading Breaking Dawn" - let's just call all this re-reading what it is: a never-ending cycle) . While there are all sorts of things in there that get me hopped up, I am always particularly annoyed with Bella's attitude about her wedding - what she called "the whole wedding mess" like it was some awful thing to be endured. Who knows - maybe Stephenie Meyer was trying to downplay Bella's enthusiasm because she didn't want to make her 18-year-old protagonist overly enthusiastic about tying the knot at such a young age. By the time Stephenie penned Breaking Dawn, she was well aware of the influence Bella's choices would have over her young (er, and not-so-young) readers. But I'm thinking maybe she made her a little TOO unenthusiastic, and to me it came off as a little ungrateful and whiny.

I mean, really, what did she have to complain about? All she had to do was was show up. To her elaborate, exquisitely decorated wedding to the world's hottest immortal who had already professed his undying love to her. To put on the perfect couture dress that she didn't have to go out and find and have her hair expertly coiffed and her makeup applied with Alice's vampy talented precision? Bella was given the pre-wedding salon buffing and polishing that most of us would die for - and the best she could do was endure it like she was being tortured. My pre-wedding prep did not go as smoothly... A few hours before my rehearsal dinner I was sitting in a salon with my bride-of-Frankenstein foils sticking out all over the place, cursing. The poor stylist who had the misfortune of being stuck with me through the whole ordeal was probably at wit's end. I mean, I'd given him only a few months to take me from redhead to blonde (I'd asked Mr. Snarky if he'd rather marry a blonde or a redhead), and he's done admirably well at the near-impossible task of removing red dye. But my highlights were a little hinky and he tried to pawn me off on some underling for my blow-out, and while this only irks me on a regular day, it made me positively apoplectic at the time. There may have been tears involved and I am not sure I would have made it to the alter without liberal amounts Xanax and Moet White Star (aka wedding-day breakfast of champions!).

Bella also didn't have to deal with any of the 23,671 little details that suck the life out of you in the months and days leading up to the wedding. She avoided the hell that is arranging seating at a formal event - you know--"What's that? Aunt Selma won't sit fewer than five tables away from Uncle Frank and his new hoochie trophy wife??? And holy crap, did we completely forget a table for the grandparents??? ARG!!" And the expense! Never even mentioned... Clearly not an issue with the Cullens, and obviously Charlie wasn't footing the bill for this shindig, as there was no mention of Bella having to allow for Charlie to invite a bunch of his yahoo redneck friends who would be stuffing pigs in a blanket into their pockets on the sly...

You know what I would have really REALLY loved? To be in Bella's shoes (Edward aside, even) which were probably Jimmy Choos or Christian Louboutins or something. To just show up and have every last detail taken care of... You know - that wedding planning thing that people can pay upwards of tens of thousands of dollars for? And even then, the bride isn't off the hook, duty-wise. I was in my early thirties when I tied the knot; we didn't have a big wedding or allot a great deal of time for planning once we set the date, and it was still amazingly stressful. Sure, everything went without a hitch the day of and our guests told us later that is was one of the nicest weddings they'd ever been to (we had a small ceremony, had our favorite martini bar/swanky restaurant to ourselves for the reception, and then had an after-party at a hotel suite that cost more for the night than I was paying for rent at the time (thanks again for footing the bill, Sister Snarky!). It just made me rankle when Bella seemed so oblivious, not knowing what she'd been spared. Maybe it's just one more part of the whole fantasy that keeps me hopelessly obsessed...

Mr. Snarky & I used this in our wedding ephemera - it's called "Kindred Spirits" - I think it's appropriate for Edward & Bella, too!

Inevitably, I started thinking about Twilight-themed weddings as I was writing this and did a little hunting around (I love the internets!!!). All I can say is Jenny Jerkface, you had better elope without telling me because even if you go to city hall, I am bringing Full-Size Edward, a basket of apples, and some hand-written notes I'll need to read to mark the occasion. The words "lion" and "lamb" will be uttered. You've been warned.





[Note from JJ: Whatever you give me I'll give back ten times worse - in some way, shape or form. And of COURSE full size Edward will be there!!!]

80 comments:

  1. This story was a lot better (and, according to JJ, significantly less angry and bitter) before I somehow managed to delete the better part of it and had to start over at 11-ish. I HATE when that happens!!! Hope you enjoyed it anyway... grumble-grumble-stupid-fucking-blogger-sucks-grumble-grumble...

    : )

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  2. I really agree with your comments though. I wasn't too happy with Bella's "all about me attitude". Poor Edward deserved to be cherished & Alice did all the work & it was free! But that's a good point that maybe SM felt like she had to tone it down since Bella was so young.

    Nice video too.

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  3. im sooooooo sneaking twilight stuff into my wedding... urmm if i ever have one... lol....

    and i agree she shoulda been stoked she didnt have to stress over much, and that the cullens were picking up that tab.... though to be honest she only had a huge ceremony for alice i think she was down for vegas or city hall

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  4. First off...I have framed StoryPeople prints in my house--love them, love the one you used for your wedding--ummm, STY were we separated at birth?

    Moving on, I totally agree that Bella acted like a spoiled little brat about the wedding--it was over the top and it made me embarassed for dear Edward that his fiance was being such a wanker when is oh so generous family was going all out. At least she appreciated it in the end...perhaps that is how they were all able to endure it because Alice 'saw' that she would end her whiney ways.

    Great post darling and very timely since it seems to be my and everyone else's anniversaries lately (Sept. is a popular month to get married in Seattle apparently. BTW your wedding soundes absolutely fantastic! Sometimes don't you wish you had the money to just do it all over again?

    Nighty night.

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  5. Gosh, yes she was whiny. Already when he proposed to her and she was some kind of annoyed (heeelloo, annoyed of Edward - please!) I was kind of mad with her. I get SM idea behind Bella´s reactions but still it doens´t make really sense.

    This whole Twilight wedding thing is funny - I mean m already married, so there is no future plans on a marriage but I love me the colors black, white and red. This wouldn´t be the problem, but we shouldn´t forget our men, they cool enough to endure us with this whole obsession thing (and some, like MrV are really cool about it!!) but forcing them into Twilght on the weeding might be a little bit toooo much.. Just a bit... those poor guys, really!

    Basically this means you want to have a second man on your wedding, no?

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  6. I really would like to kick Bella's whiny ass someday. I was so annoyed with her throughout Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, my S.O. thought I was PMSing and left me well alone (which was good in a way since it gave me all the time to indulge in Twilight fantasies/obsessions). Anyway, coming back to the wedding, that's a good point that SM wanted to downplay the young wedding angle. But I'm sure there were other ways to do that without making the heroine a whiny ass bitch.

    I did this whole wedding planning thing not to long ago and it was hands down the most stressful thing ever. And I had a lot of help in the form of my very talented sister (a little like Alice, now that I think about it) but it was still very overwhelming. But I enjoyed my wedding very much which I honestly cannot say Bella did. All she thought about was herself and not at all about Edward, for whom that day should have been very special too.

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  7. I agree Mrs Vanquish, if I could find a man good enough to endure my Twilight obsession AND let it take over the wedding day then I don't see much need for Edward Cullen anymore ;o). I say that once you've already got them and they put up with you then it's tough, in sickness and in health right? In fact Twilight has become so big and must affect so many marriages that perhaps it might be prudent for the church to introduce a Twilight vow in there somewhere...

    I also agree about Bella's attitude, but at least she's a normal teen on this one, letting someone do everything for her and taking it for granted!

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  8. Because of Bella and her whiny ways, I don't re read BD as much as the others. I think at one point, I actually yelled "shut up" at the book.

    A few months ago my own grandmother informed me that she didn't see me getting married, and if I did, well he would have to be reallllly "special"
    awww thanks grams! She also doesn't get the whole late 20's doing your own thing. I should be married and popping out babies, own a house and a dog.
    Well, I do own a dog.

    Oh and thank you ever rec'd "Clipped Wings and Inked Armor" Geesh that's an amazing fic!

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  9. When she saw how much emotion he had in his eyes when she wore the ring for the first time, i thought she would have melted right then and there and never took the damn thing off. But she did act very childish and selfish about it, that was the one the about BD that seriously annoyed me to no end. THIS PERFECT MAN LOVES YOU and ONLY YOU. and all he wanted from her was this one little thing that she had moan and groan about the whole time..grrr!

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  10. I totally agree. Bella is so annoying and selfish and bratty.

    I watched the wedding planning video. Some of the ideas were cute but let me tell you, if I suggested to Mr. Moxie that we get matching Twilight tattoos he would give me 5 across the eyes for sure.

    Saving my virtue would have been out of the question too since he's my 3rd husband, and even the first one didn't get my lily white virtue.

    mmmmmk. That makes me sound like such a slut.

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  11. 1 - Bella shut the fuck up. man she can be so annoying. i would have gone down the aisle naked, saves time later because obviously as soon as im done im going to be screwing Edward.

    2. Holy shit Stan is that a twilight UMBRELLA in your pic? possibly the best thing ive ever seen!

    3. That video was sooooooo lame haha.

    4. i Looooooove claire de lune. even before twilight! and now if i play it people say "ooohhh mah gahd your sooo playing that twilight songggg"

    gahh I AM NOT

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  12. Yes Cass, that is my Edbrella ;o). Typically, having rained all summer over here it has been dry every day since it arrived. Pah! I think the day the heavens open will possibly be the most exciting this side of November 20th!

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  13. where did you get it? Its amazing. Although its almost summer here in Aus so i wouldnt get any use :(

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  14. Bella was indeed an ungrateful twat through most of the books. Sometimes it was hard to identify with her, but I just chalked it up to her being 18 and I remember when I was 18 I was full-on, head-up-ass stupid. That's what being a teenager is about.

    And those wedding shoes above are most insanely awesome!

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  15. Aah who needs rain? It has many potential uses, sun parasol of course, hiding behind on the sofa during scary films or you could, as I have done, just keep putting it up to gaze lovingly at :o). It was from play.com here in the UK, sure you must be able to get them everywhere though. Good luck!

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  16. Clearly agreeing with you and the others here. I never really undestood all the major complaints about Breaking Dawn. I loved it ... except Bella's over the top anti-marriage attitude. I chaulked it up to the fact that I am in fact married, over 30 (barely) and have a child, plus one on the way. So happy to know others feel the same. Note: veering off from reality here... I think Edward would have appreciated a little more enthusiasm as well. And is that really so much to ask for?

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  17. This would be exactly why I eloped!! The thought of planning a wedding made me need to breath into a paper bag. Yikes. Plus... all those people looking at me. Yuck. Mr. Latchkey and I were married at the town hall in Seward, Alaska, two days before departing from our two week RV trip around the state (figured if we didn't kill each other after 2,000 miles of driving, we were safe to get married.) Dressed in jeans and fleeces, with two complete strangers for witnesses, it was wham, bam, thank you ma'am and 10 minutes later, we were hitched and back on the road!

    I totally thought at some point, I would regret not doing the big wedding thing, but I don't. Ever. I have such great memories of our trip like it was yesterday and our three year anniversary is a week from Sunday!

    Oh, and ya, I agree... Bella needs to be bitched slapped for her attitude towards the most perfect wedding to the most perfect man ever! (Ok, yes, I know he's fictional. Fucking sue me!)

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  18. I can't believe I actually just watched all 6 minutes and 13 seconds of the 50 Twilight wedding ideas. But I couldn't pull myself away. I had to see what was next and if it was crazier than the one before. I am Twilight OBSESSED, yet.... I do have a limit. Walking down the aisle with an apple??? Hmmmmm...... nope.

    There were a few cute ones that you could sneak in and no one would really know and you could enjoy the secret.

    Oh my.

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  19. Gah! I'm not alone in this either! (I should've known.) I know how much I anticipated my wedding, and it killed me that she didn't want a wedding at all...Vegas?! Sheesh! But, like it was said earlier (I'm too lazy to look back to see who said it, sorry) she's being a regular teen with the not doing a damn thing and taking everyone else's work for granted...whatever. I look back now at me when I was 18 and thank my lucky stars that my mom didn't fucking kill me! At least I had learned by that age, not to call my mom a bitch to her face unless I had a huge head start (even though I never did it after the lesson learning incident...) Gah...I have three daughters! I will pay for my sins threefold!

    Anyway...sorry to get all angsty and shit. *rolls eyes*

    @ mmMoxie - you are not a slut. You're just...picky, yeah, that's it. *wink* FTR, my DH took my virtue and I took his. It was just about 5 years before the wedding, though! It took us a while to make sure we were doing it right LOL! Not really...

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  20. @LKW: "wham bam, thank you ma'am"- perhaps one of the funniest phrases i've ever heard. XD!

    Yeah, I wasn't thrilled with Bella in BD either. Her whining annoyed me. She had nothing to do but be there and be excited. She could have pretended for Edward's sake or something. I can't say I have any experience with wedding planning or anything, but it seems she got off pretty freaking easy. Didn't have to make it hard on everyone.

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  21. While we're on a rant here, the only thing worse than Bella's attitude about the wedding was Edward's attitude, post-coitus. PUL-EZE! Stephenie, lighten up man! After a 100 year wait, you'd think the guy would turn into a veritable vibrator for his young love (and he would certainly be capable of this....SIGH!) His whole attitude brought me down. I'm plowing through thousands of pages to get to this moment, and he needs to be bitch-slapped to get it up again. Stephenie, Stephenie, Stephanie. You blew it (I'm sure Bella did too, but of course you won't tell us about it.)

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  22. @Twi-Me? - you seriously made me spit my coffee out onto my keyboard!!! LOL!!! You took the naughty thoughts right out of my mind!! Well said!

    I totally agree about Edward's mood by the way...

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  23. I'm gonna get killed for this..... I am pretty much like Bella when it comes to weddings. IMHO they are usually just over-priced and unnecessary traditions.

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  24. I ditto Latchkey Wife. I would have been a whiny bitch like Bella if I'd had to have a "real" wedding. It wouldn't have mattered if someone else did all the planning.

    We semi-eloped. Which means that we had planned to elope until my mother-in-law got wind of it. After much torture we amended it to " we are getting married at this church in Ireland on this date, anyone in the immediate family who would like to be there is welcome".

    There were a total of 12 of us in a tiny stone church on the coast of Ireland outside of Galway, and it was perfect. No flowers, no wedding dress, no invitations, no wedding cake. We walked across the street to the pub for the "reception".

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  25. Hm.. I'm not seeing my comments from yesterday. I won't repeat in case it's just me doing something lame to be unable to see it. (unless it got deleted because I groaned at all the typos in the video-haha). Anyway I pretty much agree with the rest of you (obviously intelligent) women.

    @anon-I would think even if you didn't care for the whole wedding extravaganza you could muster a little enthusium for the love of your life who wants nothing more than to make you his wife. (sigh).

    STY-Great use of the word "ephemera"!! I had to look it up and even my dictionary had to take two tries to find it.
    No I did NOT mean ephemeraL mr. smarty pants dictionary
    man inside my computer.

    Oh, one more thought. Although I agree with the rest of the universe that Renesme is a gawdawful name to give a
    child, I chalked it up as "THAT's exactly the kind of stupid
    things teenagers do. " I once heard of a fellow (true story)
    whose name was pronounced "aRANjelo" like "Angelo" but
    with an extra sylable. Turns out his teenaged mom was a
    big fan of "orange jello" while she was pregnant. Ugh.

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  26. I never thought I'd meet the right guy. I never thought I'd bother with an engagement or a diamond ring. I REALLY never thought I'd have a wedding with a white dress and a bouquet and the whole shebang, but hey there I was wearing 37 layers of tulle and tiny blue flowers painted on my toenails because my mom told me the uber-expensive blue shawl I'd purchased the day before in a moment of desperation "didn't count" if I wasn't planning on wearing it down the aisle [thanks mom, for suddenly channeling your inner traditionalist!]. Has anyone here ever read "Hypocrite in a Poofy White Dress"??? Yeah, that was me. I have no idea what came over me but I went girly-girl with the dress. Who knew??? We didn't do any of the dancing or garter & bouquet tossing or any of that stuff but I think both of our families were happy we did as much as we did in a sorta traditional way! I always thought weddings were an overpiced waste too, um, until mine came around - lol! jftr I can cry at the drop of a hat if I watch any of those weddding shows on tv now. I used to NEVER cry and now I am a total sap about stuff.

    OK - and you guys all killed me with your comments!!

    @Track 10 - I never actually yelled at the book but I can totally relate!

    @VitaminR - Yes, we were separated at birth. clearly. {oh and in keeping with my "I can't type anything right today" thing, I just typed your name as "TitaminR" and started cackling hysterically here at my office - people around me must think I am effing nuts)

    @mmMoxie (you slut nugget - lol) - "five across the eyes"?! hahaha!!!

    @Twi Me? [love the name!] - yes, i am sure that there was some blowing and no she didn't tell. thank goodness for fanfic, that's all i'm saying! lack of deets in Isle Esme is what first got me looking for fanfic in the first place, so maybe it's not all bad...

    @latchkey wife & onoimatwitard2 - those both sound like good times! i would have been just as happy with either... : )

    @TwiWeasel - that's sweet!! and at least you had all those years to practice... : )

    oh and I must have that umbrella! but not sure I could take it outside - would definitely be testing my "outness" and it's bad luck to open indoors so i might be stuck running around in my back yard with it - lol! would be PERFECT if 11/19 is rainy, though! OK i need one...

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  27. Ha! TwiFixx I just did the same thing with the word "epherma"!!
    STY-love the "kindred spirits"--way cool!
    I feel pissed about Bella's reaction to the wedding too--She didn't even look in a mirror, I mean she's got hottie Tanya coming who wants Edward, and she doesn't even look in the mirror to make sure she is on top of her game! Sheesh. I could go on, but...

    JJ-I checked out the link to "The controversy.." I laughed my ass off. I'm am weirdly obsessed with all of the technicalities of the "Vamp mclovin scene too". You enlightened me with the info about the bodily fluids---but why would he need a hard-on, when he's already a man of steel,maybe to be even bigger and better and stronger than before... hmmmm.

    Thanks for the smiles this morning ladies. :)

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  28. @TwiFixx - thx!! I love that word for some reason. I apparently haven't killed off my inner English major entirely with my love of tweeny vampire novels... And I like having to look stuff in the dictionary here and there - always good to keep learning new stuff, right???

    : )

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  29. The Edbrella is actually exempt from all bad luck superstitions, how could anything so beautiful possibly be bad luck?! Plus according to a website run by 'unicorn' lady *snigger* (the name must be a sign right?) it's no longer considered bad luck. That'll do me!

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  30. StoryPeople - I love storypeople! I would say we are sisters - but my sister just shakes her head when I get excited about storypeople.
    I'm with you on the whiny Bella thing too. You are stronger than I am in re-reading BD.

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  31. STY- oh yes, I LOVE learning new stuff whether it's a cool new word or a phrase I'll never be able to utter aloud in real life. (sparkly vampsicle peen, crossing the swords, totes fuckawesome/fuckhawt). It's funny how that last one is a completely appropriate response to RPattz pics, however I would sound like a total D-bag if I were to use those words in conversation.

    Yeah, my Internet Twi- Trolling is all about furthering my education. :). Thanks for doing your part!

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  32. I'm glad that I wasn't the only one who had to look up ephemera. freaking show-off, lol.

    I also wanted to smack the shit out of Bella during her wedding. I mean, ML and I are the two least romantic people in the world [seriously, we've been together for four years and have never celebrated an anniversary] and even I think she should have shown a little more interest.

    In the event that ML and I ever get married (buying a house counts as marriage, right?)STY is obviously going to be my main Bitch so maybe I should elope... lol.

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  33. I'm glad that I wasn't the only one who had to look up ephemera. freaking show-off, lol.

    I also wanted to smack the shit out of Bella during her wedding. I mean, ML and I are the two least romantic people in the world [seriously, we've been together for four years and have never celebrated an anniversary] and even I think she should have shown a little more interest.

    In the event that ML and I ever get married (buying a house counts as marriage, right?)STY is obviously going to be my main Bitch so maybe I should elope... lol.

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  34. @ TwiFixx & STY– You Twat Waffles, you…I love some of the fabulous phrases I’ve learned in my brief spell of Twi-Trolling. I actually uttered the words “Sparkle Peen” in front of my husband the other night and got a massive eye roll because he KNEW what I was talking about! (He found me horking shit out my nose at that particular blog and didn’t find it even remotely as funny as I did!) Anyhoo…I may THINK the new word/phrase at the appropriate time IRL, but what comes out my mouth is usually something much more…well…mom-like. I TRY not to drop the f-bomb around the kids…I did say try…It’s so bad that I almost have a separate personality online. I mean, it’s me…I just say different things, you know? I can’t be TwiWeasel ALL the time…at least not in public…my place of business is not a place for words like “Fuck Hawt” or “Awesomesauce” or “Whore Flaps.” (More’s the pity, since I work with some real whore flappy types.) *sigh* without the internet (and this blog), I would still be unaware of the difference between the Stink Eye and the Hairy Eyeball! *snort* What kind of life was I living before I became Twitarded?

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  35. Bella has always been a whiny twit from book 1, and sadly she seemed to just get worse and more self centered. Here she is, supposedly in honors programs in Phoenix, yet she can't cut the apron strings and think for herself when it comes to getting married due to what her absent-minded mother went through. She wants to live forever w/ Edward, yet freaks about a ceremony (that STY does a fantastic job of highlighting how easy Bella got off on the whole planning issue) to tell the entire world that she is choosing him?? Bella was described as a classic martyr (by Jacob), but really she was just a spoiled, selfish brat. I truely loathe the character.

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  36. @STY--YOU can call me TitaminR any day! That sounds like something that would come out of my mouth after downing a few Vitamin Rs.

    Veriword: 'equaluv' I equaluv all the fanfic Robwards...well I might love Tattward the best actually.

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  37. @ VR - Tattward...Mmmmmmm me too! He's just so...naughty! *evil chuckle*

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  38. @VitaminR - Tattward makes me drool incessantly on myself.

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  39. I REALLY need to go read ummmm... CW/IA because I keep hearing a LOT of things about Tattward!

    [chants to self - no reading twiporn at work...no reading twiporn at work... NO READING TWIPORN at work!]

    wait until tonight Tattward... I have a feeling you might be just the thing to puch me over the edge and have me getting that tattoo I've been thinking i need...

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  40. Do it STY...read it at work. You won't regret it...I guarantee it will put you over the edge!

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  41. Holy eff, STY, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T READ CW&IA YET!! (yes, I am shouting, but its for your own good). You need to drop whatever you're doing and start reading it this second. Tattward is sex incarnate and you are going to totally fall for him hard. He even gets better in each chapter. (go! now!)

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  42. I totally agree with you! One of my biggest complaints about "Breaking Dawn" is Bella's utter lack-of romantic enthusiasm for marrying Edward! I'm not the marrying-type myself ;) But I'd sure-as-hell muster some enthusiasm if I were marrying EDWARD!! Geez. The only explanation I could come up with is her age. But I think even at 18 I could have mustered some enthusiasm.

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  43. off topic:

    I am pretty new to this whole twilight thing - just read the first two books in the last month. What I would like to know is why so much of the twilight fanfiction I've found presents an all-human cast of characters.

    It seems like vampires are kind of central to the story. Plus, I've been looking at other fanfiction repositories; it doesn't seem that so many Harry Potter fanfiction writers leave out the wizards, or X-Files fans leave out the aliens.

    I don't dislike the all-human stories I've read. I'm just curious why Twilight writers are keen to abandon the supernatural element in their stories.

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  44. @STY--You will want Tattward like no other and you will not stop thinking about tattoos. There is a lot of build up to the lemony parts of CW&IA but it is all worth it--make sure Mr.STY is nearby for sure. Oh and, uh, I don't recommend reading it at work. I read the last chapter at work and one of my employees knocked on my closed office door and I nearly jumped out of my skin--I was frantically hitting minimize! Minimize! Yep it is that HOT and that dirty and it will make you flush all shades of pink.

    @LKW @TwiWeasel--Tattward is the ultimate sexy bad boy with total sweetness underneath. Holy crap!

    @Julia--I am not sure how to answer your question. Initially, I thought it odd too that all the fanfic I truly love is all human but they use elements of the characters and their relationships that we are familiar with. I think ultimately the stories are just so damn good, and the best ones are so well-written AND they provide all the sexual stuff us more mature dirtybird Twilight fans like, that it just works somehow. Also I tend to imagine the all human Edward as Rob, not Edward the vampire so that is probably why I like them so much. Help me out in explaining this fellow Twitards. Oh and if you haven't read Breaking Dawn yet you might not yet understand the NEED for all the lemony goodness provided by all the fanfiction. Oh and there are many fanfics that do keep the whole vampire element.

    OK I will shut up now. STY start reading CW&IA tonight and then we will talk tattoos my friend.

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  45. Ok, so my hubby read this entry aloud to me last night because I had the baby in my arms at the time- he's a good sport huh? But he think you gals are hilarious anyway. So, I didn't get to respond. I felt bad for Edward, but she is who she is and he loves her anyway- kinda like how my hubby married me even though I'm shit balls crazy! My own wedding planning was such a fiasco for reasons that in no way are funny, but I'll just say that by the time I had planned the second version of my wedding with 52 days until the actual date, it didn't phase me all that much when my MOM screamed "fuck you" at me 10 minutes into my reception and stormed out. *sigh*Memories... So yes, Bella should have shut the he'll up and counted her blessings!
    As for Tattward- he's hot but I'm married to the real life Beautiful Bastard (piercing green eyes and all) so it's The Office that drops my panties ;-)

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  46. OK...what I found very annoying, and has stuck with me, is the fact that Edward had to push her to a mirror to look at herself. Are you kidding me???? Are we supposed to believe she walked around, all evening, and never passed any sort of reflective device that gave her a clue as to her appearance?? Geez....it's like those people that leave Christmas presents under the tree for days. What the hell.

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  47. Oops! I guess I should have considered the spoiler factor in the title of this post - sorry people who haven't read all the books!!! My bad... I just assume that by the time someone has searched the internet long enough to find us, they have probably read (and re-read) the whole saga!).

    My apologies! :/

    @Abigail - your husband is an EXCELLENT sport - lol!

    @TwiWeasel - "awesomesauce"?! where the hell did THAT come from?! haha!!

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  48. @ STY - I believe awesomesauce was from...hmmmm either "Cocktails & Dreams" or "Mr. Horrible." I can't remember which but let me tell you, both of them are Totes AWESOMESAUCE!

    @MaggieMay - I also love me some Beautiful Bastard. I love all my Edwards...but I have a little bit of difficulty keeping which version straight between new chapters. I'm only in the middle of 6 different stories at this time, not to mention I'm in the New Moon part of the cycle of reading the books. (Read the first sentence of today's blog, if that didn't make sense.)

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  49. I'm so glad someone else brought this up! I kept thinking, "Stop your complaining girl" while reading all of it.
    And you're right, it's the details that are painful. I'm not a wedding type of girl. We wanted a small ceremony in Thailand. We could get an entire island for 5 days for $10k. Wedding, accom, elephant if you wanted..the lot. Then I had every man and his dog saying why they didn't want that. I call bulls**t on anyone that says it's the bride's day.
    Anyway, we got married in The Whitsundays and it poured rain our entire wedding day, but it turned out for the best we got to go out to Whitehaven Beach two days later and get some photos taken when all the craziness was over.
    http://s255.photobucket.com/albums/hh131/ncarey/Official%20Wedding%20Pics/?action=view&current=381.jpg
    So Bella, you're marrying a gorgeous immortal with a wicked family who do everything to help you. APPRECIATE IT WOMAN!

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  50. I'm home from work now... hubby not here... can someone point me in the right direction to get introduced to CW/IA?? Please? =))

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  51. link me to CW&IA i actually havent read it!


    W/v - comin - as in "Edward im comin"
    *giggle*

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  52. Now I'm getting a little silly...but why not? Maybe it's just me, but while reading Breaking Dawn, and realizing she hadn't looked at herself, I immediately put myself in her position and thought not only is she bratty, but a little crazy. I would have wanted to make sure that the vamps hadn't written..."I'm a human and I'm tastey" across my forehead in black eyeliner...then walked me down the aisle to meet my demise. Then again, I'm a little paranoid.

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  53. Link for Clipped Wings & Inked Armor
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5143291/1/Clipped_Wings_and_Inked_Armor

    Don't plan on getting much sleep and have changes of undies nearby!

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  54. OOps for some reason the link didn't copy--just go to Fanfiction.net and search the title. The author is hunterhunting.

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  55. thanks VitaminR - are you proud of the fact you will be responsible when my boyfriend asks me why i have changed my undies 10 times today? LOL

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  56. I can identify with Bella on some level, because I'm not a huge fan of the spotlight but she's not just marrying some guy, she's marrying EDWARD for fuck sake!

    And even though I'm not married, I can appreciate the you-don't-have-to-plan thing, because I fucking hate planning for anything, and because my Mom has some horror stories about planning her own, mostly involving guests from the States and the fact that Dad's parents were divorced and couldn't stand to be anywhere near each other. She actually insists that my sister and I should 'live in sin' with a guy before we even think about getting married, even though that would probably kill Granny. Actually, that might be why... My other grandmother certainly couldn't complain since she's living in sin at the grand old age of, er, 76? 77? something like that. Suck it up Bella. You don't know how freaking lucky you are.

    And I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates the name Renesmee! I have a weird name, but at least it's a name. When Melissa Marr gives her characters weird names she usually goes for Gaelic ones - Aislinn, Niall, Tavish, Beira, etc - why couldn't SMeyer just find a weird name that really was a name?

    Sorry about the long rants. Veri-word: diessist. Bella, diessist your whining, goddammit!

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  57. @Banshee713

    My friend and I convinced another friend to read Twilight. She was up to Eclipse when my friend and I started talking about how Twilight has the worst name in literary history. The conversation went thus:
    Friend A - "I mean, what's with ... oh, hang on, we'd better not say."
    Friend B - "You can't do that to me? What are you talking about?"
    Me - "We can't tell you specifically, but you'll know when you get to it. Worst. Name. Ever."

    She emailed me after finishing Eclipse saying, "The only new name is Bree. And I don't think it's that strange." I replied, "Just keep reading, you'll know before you finish Breaking Dawn."

    A few days later I received an email with the subject line of "WTF?". Ahhh, she got to the bit about Renesmee.

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  58. @VitaminR - Oh no...the link came through just fine in my email... Can't. Stop. Reading. OMFE!!!!!!

    Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you....!

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  59. I couldn't figure that out....she already knows she's going to spend eternity with him so what was the big deal of getting married?

    And I REALLY didn't get the whole not looking at herself in the mirror before going down the stairs. What bride doesn't want to see herself before she goes down the aisle??

    And what bride hands over the responsibility of choosing her dress to someone else??

    BTW - this prom picture?? I find this kiss a helluva lot sexier than the one in Bella's bedroom...especially the one on her throat just before this kiss! I'm surprised this part of my DVD is still playable!

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  60. Sooooo...STY, Cheryl, Cass...CWIA is Fuck Hawt Awesome, no?

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  61. @TwiWeasel - Let me just say I'm on my third pair of panties and only on chapter 7... (oh my, did I just type that??!!)!

    *pant pant pant*

    And I see a new TwiTarded FanFic chapter just posted!!! I'm so not sleeping tonight!!

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  62. @ Narelle from Aus: It really does suck, doesn't it? Carlie's kind of cute, I guess, but then anything's better than fucking Renesmee. Or Nessie. Although someone told me that they knew a guy named Donald Duckworth, and someone else told me they knew a girl called Crystal Clear. They weren't joking either. This is why France has a list of names you have to choose from for your kid. Not such a bad idea, really...

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  63. STY, I loved this post (cause I love wedding talk)! Because I am a people pleaser by nature, when I read BD, I was so uncomfortable for Bella because there she is having everyone (and these are vampires who could technically eat her) go out of their way to do nice things for her, and she didn't show any appreciation. And we were in her head, so it wasn't even like the unafazed attitude was just for show and inside she was actually squeeing.

    I totally get the logic behind why Stephenie wrote Bella this way because I can see it getting frou frou fairy tale if Bella was all like, I love nice cars! I love money and what it can buy me! But I don't think she needed to be so resistant.

    When I made my BFF read Twilight, she couldn't stand it because it was in Bella's POV, and she refused to read the rest of the novels after it. I told her to at least read Book 1 of BD, and when she did reluctantly, she still hated her. I made a post about BFF's reaction to Isle Esme, and this pretty much sums up her thoughts on Bella's whinyness, and I quote, "Ohhh, I'm Bella, I don't like money....I don't like fancy cars.. I want to be poor because, I'm BELLAAA!!! And I don't like lingerie! Because lingerie embarrasses me, even though he's my husband!"

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  64. @Cass--Ummm, I am VERY proud indeed.

    @Cheryl--Better go buy a Costco pack if you are going that fast--you are going to need them.

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  65. @ Cheryl - just forget about the panties and sit on a towel.

    @ STY? Haven't seen you this quiet in...ever. JJ, check on her! Hopefully she's just enjoying the lovely piece of work that is Tattward.

    BTW...check the new avitar, it's NOT a posed pic of my 2yo who stole my magazine and hid it! Srsly, I can't find it, but she keeps dragging it out to "read" it.

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  66. thanks, ladies!!!! just when i thought i was going to finally get around to doing something productive today, CW&IA ruins it.

    FUCCKKKKK... oh Tatward!

    .... and my husband is 3,000 miles away! where is the sparkle-peen when you need it! i'm going to have to run out and buy more AA batteries. lol

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  67. @ TwiWeasel, love that pic! I had to have a tug of war with my 2yr old the other day over my Edward bookmark (he'd just eaten a chocolate biscuit :oO) while he was shouting "Bob! Bob!". He doesn't even say Daddy yet but he knows Rob LOL.
    Oh, and I discovered CW&IA just before bedtime so need to carry on with that one today, then read the Twitarded fanfic, busy busy busy ;o)

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  68. Well.. much to my embarrassment, i have already decided on most of those things in the video.. HAHA.. my future fiance is not going to be please, but that's ok, he jsut won't be told!! HAHA

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  69. HOLY SHIT

    im up to about chapter 13 on CW & IA and its FUCKING AMAZING. i took twiweasels advise and just sat on a towel to avoid the inevitable undie changes

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  70. You are SO right. Bella was a prize whinger the whole way through "oh boo hoo I hate shopping/makeovers/weddings/parties/presents/all the things normal girls like - how awful that these gorgeous wealthy people keep inflicting them on me". I thought Smeyer wrote her that way in part so she didn't look materialistic (loving Edward *despite* his desire to shower her with gifts and give her an eternity of international jetsetting), so poor old Jacob didn't look like he lost out due to living in a hovel on a rez.

    Your wedding sounded lovely. Mine was also a stressful shitfight, but OK in the end. Could have done with an Alice to help with the planning, fo sho. could have done with an Isle Esme honeymoon instead of a bargain basement Cough's Harbour resort. But hey, we were poor hipsters at the time, so we sucked it up and had a warehouse party.

    BTW longtime reader, first time poster. twitarded is my spiritual home.

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  71. Pmsl Cass! I'm just waiting to get the little one to bed for his nap then am getting stuck in again :o)

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  72. Sorry I wasn't around folks! Duty called (er, that would be the job - I wish I was getting paid to blog but it hasn't happened yet soo...)!

    Glad everyone was on the same page - lol! I got so ticked reading how whiny she was being about EVERYTHNG!

    And I will start CW/IA this weekend - promise!

    p.s. @Narelle from Aus - what a beautiful pic! and you guys are a beautiful couple!! the island sounds like it would have been nice but it looks like you already live in a little paradise - wow! they don't make water that blue in this neck of the woods, that's for sure... : )

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  73. holy fuck why didnt someone tell me cw & ia wasnt finished??? Gahh now im going to be hanging out for the next chapters!

    Veriword - messe - uhhhh my undies when i read cw & ia???

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  74. THAT'S what to call it - a Twilight reading cycle. I too am on Breaking Dawn now. I did this second cycle through audiobook and I'm debating whether to buy BD from audible or just lug my hardcover copy around on the subway.

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  75. @ TwiWeasel, love that pic! I had to have a tug of war with my 2yr old the other day over my Edward bookmark (he'd just eaten a chocolate biscuit :oO) while he was shouting "Bob! Bob!". He doesn't even say Daddy yet but he knows Rob LOL.
    Oh, and I discovered CW&IA just before bedtime so need to carry on with that one today, then read the Twitarded fanfic, busy busy busy ;o)

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  76. StoryPeople - I love storypeople! I would say we are sisters - but my sister just shakes her head when I get excited about storypeople.
    I'm with you on the whiny Bella thing too. You are stronger than I am in re-reading BD.

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  77. I ditto Latchkey Wife. I would have been a whiny bitch like Bella if I'd had to have a "real" wedding. It wouldn't have mattered if someone else did all the planning.

    We semi-eloped. Which means that we had planned to elope until my mother-in-law got wind of it. After much torture we amended it to " we are getting married at this church in Ireland on this date, anyone in the immediate family who would like to be there is welcome".

    There were a total of 12 of us in a tiny stone church on the coast of Ireland outside of Galway, and it was perfect. No flowers, no wedding dress, no invitations, no wedding cake. We walked across the street to the pub for the "reception".

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  78. Because of Bella and her whiny ways, I don't re read BD as much as the others. I think at one point, I actually yelled "shut up" at the book.

    A few months ago my own grandmother informed me that she didn't see me getting married, and if I did, well he would have to be reallllly "special"
    awww thanks grams! She also doesn't get the whole late 20's doing your own thing. I should be married and popping out babies, own a house and a dog.
    Well, I do own a dog.

    Oh and thank you ever rec'd "Clipped Wings and Inked Armor" Geesh that's an amazing fic!

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  79. When she saw how much emotion he had in his eyes when she wore the ring for the first time, i thought she would have melted right then and there and never took the damn thing off. But she did act very childish and selfish about it, that was the one the about BD that seriously annoyed me to no end. THIS PERFECT MAN LOVES YOU and ONLY YOU. and all he wanted from her was this one little thing that she had moan and groan about the whole time..grrr!

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  80. Yes Cass, that is my Edbrella ;o). Typically, having rained all summer over here it has been dry every day since it arrived. Pah! I think the day the heavens open will possibly be the most exciting this side of November 20th!

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