Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Glossary of Robert Pattinson

I'll admit it: we really have no clue how we're supposed to follow up the OPattz photo shoot extravaganza... Jenny Jerkface and I got on the phone earlier and we were both experiencing a severe case of TwiBloggy writer's block over the whole thing.

JJ had actually already started a post called "Can't Top This" -
I'm sitting here trying to think of something witty to say and... nothing. I mean, all I can think about is OPattz and those ridiculous pictures and I suddenly feel like I have performance anxiety.

I can't top that shizz. I don't have game.
And I totally get it... For better or for worse, we're almost always on the same page when it comes to stuff like this! But then I remembered that back before my memory was erased by some of the hottest pics of Robert Pattinson to ever be [temporarily] splashed across the blogosphere, I had come across a spiffy Twilight blog called RobMusement. It's funny, dirty, and there's a lot of cursing. Naturally, we felt right at home! While checking it out, I made my way to their "Rob Glossary." And it's hysterical. I know some of you have already seen this, but when I find something this clever that someone obviously put a lot of time and effort into creating, I can't help but spread the word!

Here are a few choice entries; you can check the entire thing out HERE (and I highly recommend that you take a look around while you're there!) -

Glossary of Rob by RobMusement
Amen-A word used to relay that we are all agree on a specific aspect of Rob, such as, “May a belt never find its way into Mr. Pattinson’s wardrobe. Amen & Amen.
Beardward-pictures from a Twilight photoshoot for the Times.

Beardward (aka "Scruffy Rob") is one of JJ's fave Robward looks...

Buttonfly- What I wouldn’t give to be able to rip those buttons off and get to the wonderful Pattinson present that is behind those brass buttons….Amen! Vid made be RobsButtonsBabe.



Den of Sin-refers to Rob’s autograph, “You are welcome in my den of sin.”
Rawr! I'll meet you in your den of sin any day!

Lips- The gates to heaven.
...can't...breath...dazzled...
Nikes-An American shoe company that makes athletic wear that includes shoes, shirts, shorts, etc. Their logo is a checkmark and their motto is “JUST DO IT.” Yes Rob, just do me…I mean it. No, no, I definitely mean me.


Oral fixation-used to explain the glazed over look in a woman’s eyes when Rob puts anything in his mouth.
Mmmm... Nail-biting has never looked this hot...

Go check out the rest!

Hopefully JJ and I will score some Twiblogger Viagra and we'll get over the [gulp] limp-dick performance issue thing we both seem to have going on at the moment! Could someone please just tell us that it's fine, and it happens to everyone??? No??? Dammit.

47 comments:

  1. It is premature ejaculation to be the first comment on your own blog?

    How suitable.

    L.O.V.E. Beardward. Would do totally heinous but sexy things to that beard.

    ML actually went in to trim his beard and I yelled 'NO!!!' so he wandered in, took one look at Beardward and shook his head. Patient man, that one.

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  2. you girls have given my heart palpitations and my breathing is very irregular from some of this pics and your hilarious definitions!

    Love it ladies!

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  3. Thnk you so much for your kindnes. I'm glad you feel at home in my "park" as I feel quite at home here as well.
    P.S. I find that 1/2 a bottle of vodka and some dirty Robporn will cure all that ails you. I personally like the Happy Vodka, no false advertisment there. After 2 glasses I couldn't fucking be any happier. And after 3 glasses you don't really give a shit if anyone thinks you're witty or not. Stop at three though, trust me on this...just trust me!

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  4. Oh, jesus. I need to go look at the full glossary RIGHT NOW.

    I got a real kick out of the definition for "Oral Fixation."
    And then I saw that picture and the definition came true.

    Pathetic. Hahaha. =]

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  5. @itsjustme - when I saw your "I say cunt-fuck-shit-damn-etc a lot" widget, I knew I had found a kindred spirit! A kindred spirit with more technical chops than we have over here - lol!

    @NatashaBABYYY - thanks! and make sure please go check out RobMusement - it's her glossary & those are her definitions - we're just spreading the word!

    : )

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  6. When you outdo yourself like you did with OPattz, it's like after a major milestone. It's disappointing - the event you've worked so hard for is over. Besides, how the hell do you top OPattz??! Take a teeny tiny break, read some Robsmut aka fanfic, read the entire glossary at RobMusement (see "sex boots", the replacements for the "shiteous Nikes"). Besides, we're all bummed about those friggin' photos being taken away from us. Shiteous, just shiteous. Need a good laugh? Read some stuff in the Urban Dictionary. Some of RobMusements best words haven't made it there yet ("fuckhawt") though.

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  7. I ADORE itsjustme!! This is fanfreakingtabulous!!!

    The !!!'s clearly show my excitement! And the Glossary of Rob is wonderment for sure! :)

    This is an excellent way to follow up the smexiness of OPattz.

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  8. Stuck? Well JJ, I suggest re-reading parts of the wonderfully smutty "The Office" and "Clipped Wings and Armored Ink"
    fanfic that you shared links to... HOLY HELL! I'm glad the hubs was gone for the weekend so I could read them by myself--only to jump him when he finally got home! Once again..HOLY HELL!

    PS. Thanks! LMAO

    ashnanphillips

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  9. Rob's den of sin....
    *sigh* Excuse me while I go concoct sexually deviant fantasies about that man precipitated by that picture of his lips.

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  10. Aww. @Itsjustme I like what you like girlfriend! But for the life of me and I know you will all kill me for saying this. *Ok, take a deep breath* The beardward photo looks like Alan from The Hangover. Shit, kinda. Ok, sorry. Maybe a skinny version? *laughing at my own comment* Fine! I amuse myself.

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  11. Gah!!! Oh, oops! Need to change my panties AGAIN. That is like 3 times today. It's a good thing I bought extras! This beardward is absolutely, fabulously, deliciously, HOT!

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  12. Heya Chickies!
    Saw this today at the supermarket. Cashing in on the popularity amongst 30-something women?
    http://s255.photobucket.com/albums/hh131/ncarey/?action=view&current=IMG00195-20090909-1351.jpg
    Verification word - expopho. Relating to a Grandfather's Ex Girlfriend?

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  13. Den of Sin??

    Oral Fixation??

    There goes my ovaries..

    You two fucking rock. (Heading to RobMusement STAT)

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  14. I just stumbled upon that glossary of terms yesterday and was thinking it would be fun to share --bravo for bringing it to the blog. I'm really glad to have clarification of the different levels of hotness hot-hawt-fuckhawt... I want to be accurate with my expletives.

    Jenny--I never had much of a thing for beards in real life...now I'm kinda trying to talk my hubby into going a few days without shaving for that yummy scruffy look. :D

    I personally don't think you have to sing and dance for our amusement 24/7. I've noticed we can successfully amuse ourselves given the right incentive. Until the Twiblog-viagra kicks in, I think it's perfectly acceptable to link up a video or two (there's only about a gazillion to choose from), throw out some heineously provocative statement, and then........GO! I'll never forget those great captions your dear readers came up with for that creepy wolfy baby on the stairs pic.

    Thank you for running this blog which I consider my home away from home.

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  15. I think beards are sexy if done right, I think beardward works, I think there should be at least some vampires with beards, I've pondered the whole vampire hair issue, and had some ideas, but, would love a chance to talk with SM about "how it works"

    And yes, the OPattz phenomenon was fabulous and really backed you into a corner. You're great though, you'll blog your little hearts out and crack us up, and then do a follow up OPattz photo shoot ... :D

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  16. Am I the only one not jazzed by Beardward? I like my boys clean shaven..hehe

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  17. *Adds RobMusement to my T.Light Bookmark*

    That bottom lip, its like asking to to be licked, sticking out there all pouty and shit.

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  18. Ooh, I need to check out that full glossary. And I feel your pain girls. I'm in a black hole of what the fuck to write about these days.

    Just for the record - my ideal Rob = the beard of course, those fucking buttonfly jeans that I want to rip from him body, the black v-neck t-shirt {{pantpant}}, that oh so redneck-ish, yet sexy on him black/gray checked shirt, and oh yes, the Docs.... ok, maybe just him in the Docs would be sufficient.

    Could someone please find me a picture exactly as I've described (fully clothed or naked just wearing the Docs) so that I may use it for my fan fiction fantasies?? Why am I such a slut??!

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  19. Rob + oral fixations = *thump* (just fainted)....

    must.catch.my.breath....

    YUM!!!!!!!!

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  20. @Narelle from Aus - too funny! and YES, i absolutely think that companies are trying to get to the household-running, detergent-buying TwiFans - I've seen the name "Twilight" slapped on all sorts of stuff! I mean, since when did "Twilight" denote a certain fragrance??? Thanks for sharing!

    I love oral fixation Rob but I'll admin that I am not the hugest Beardward fan (although I have to admit all that fuzz has definitely grown on me over the months...).

    : )

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  21. Well, not sure this will make your stage fright better or worse... but though I loved OPattz - I didn't laugh nearly as hard as I have for some of your other entries. I know you girls still have more snark and laughter to spread to your adoring fans:)

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  22. you guys could always do another feature on teen drinking...eating disorders....

    seriously, creative chicas like yourselves need a break now and then-recharge the batteries (heh heh)...we all understand! :)

    (how screwed up am I if I can stare a picture of lips and be frozen to my chair??)

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  23. I'm gonna start making up shit on my blog if we don't get some news soon. Do you mind if I make up stories about you two?

    By the way, I had to leave my desk after the oral-fixation pic. I spilled coffee on myself :) Damn Rob and his hotness.

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  24. Thanks for the pics ladies....stunning as always...I cant pic just one..sorry.

    I agree wtih Latchkey Wife, if anyone has that pic, I too would love to see it.

    Someone wrote that we amuse ourselves, I think that is true..all we really need to do is see pics and then drool over them....so take a mental break.

    I knew nothing about the "den of sin pic!!!" the boy knows not what he is admitting into that den with you... ladies..women....girls...deviates...twitards in general.


    Jaima

    word verification...WANGS!!!!

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  25. haha!! Thank you so much for the link to the Rob Glossary :D so funny!! too bad i´m at work and can´t squee or/and laugh out loud :D

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  26. This is so fucking funny. Robmusement is pure genius.

    I'm with Latchkey & Jaima - Where is that picture? I think my ovaries would burst into flames if I saw something like that.

    @SusanaSun - Ha ha! I think I've definitely seen Twilight too many times if I knew exactly what you were talking about.

    @SparklingBites - Sure! Go ahead. Just don't rake us over the coals too much 'kay. LOL!

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  27. I just found that Glossary yesterday, too. It was so funny!

    Ladies, yesterday was hard to beat, but I have faith. You are the funniest things out there. My DH even laughs at your stuff. He is so patient with my obsession, I just have to appreciate him more often. ;-))) Especially after viewing the oral fixation pics.

    I'm so glad I downloaded one of the forbidden images for my BlackBerry wallpaper before they were pulled. *sigh*

    Okay, looking forward to the next chapter in your Twitarded FanFic.

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  28. JJ and STY: It's fine, it happens to everyone, especially after a few drinks! You guys are very funny, creative ladies who faithfully post everyday come rain or shine. You deserve a break.

    Plus your mental break led to my discovery of the "Den of Sin" autograph pic. I have discovered a dirtier aspect of Robward, and I like it!

    So, thank you!

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  29. Mmmm, oral fixation....*wipes drool off keyboard* How likely is it that he'll be filming something in Dublin in the near future? Ready, set, stalking! Then again, I'd probably just end up humping his leg or something, so maybe I shouldn't hope for that.

    Don't worry about the dry spell, it happens. The net has plenty of Twiporn to keep us horny Twitards amused while you take it easy. ;P

    @BoxergirlSydney: You're not alone, I'm not overly fond of the beard either. If a guy has a beard it has to be one of those hot little trimmed ones like Caleb Followill has at the moment.

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  30. I think the Beardward pic has a bit too much beard in it myself.

    But that "den of sin pic?"!!!!!! yeah. 8)

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  31. JJ and Latchkey, maybe not the pic you were hoping for, but, found one with a bit of scruff, maybe docs, jeans, flannel, check it here ...

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  32. i could've used the pics on this page today.... 1st day backa t school and was internally geekin out during my 1st class, those ould have eased my pain, lol

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  33. ACK, GET IT QUICK LADIES

    if you missed the whole photo pull debacle and don't know what inspired the OPattz shoot, there's a post about a video over at Twicrack addict, video courtesy of jjane64 it looks like, may not be there for long...

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  34. I am not worried--are you worried? Naaah, nothing to worry about you two are too full of snarky, creative, sassy twi-lovin' goodness to worry your pretty heads--I have faith in my fearless leaders.

    Love the glossary! How very useful. Though 'fuckjawesome' was not in there..I may have to submit it.

    @JJ@LKW--Me heart Beardbert/Beardward the mostest too--can we share? Please? Mr. Vitamin R is often scruffy and I love it more than ever now.

    FTR--Mini E can always fill the creative void. In n Out Hamburglar--there is way more where that came from if you ever need inspiration.

    P.S. Finished what is written thus far of CW&IA last night. Holy freakin' Pierceward will the smutty madness ever stop....need to go buy more batteries now. Ta! Ta!

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  35. Originally posted this in the wrong place...

    Alright ladies, this link might spark some witty chatter from you two pole cats. First there was the vampsicle, now there is the adult movie spoof of Twilight. The tag line is 'when you can f___ forever, you can f___ everybody'.

    http://www.wtforks.com/2009/09/09/twilight-goes-xxx/#more-6799

    Coming soon to a Blockbuster near you....

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  36. STY - I got the strangest look from the lady selecting her laundry powder when taking the photo. So I just shrugged at her and said, "Long story". She replied, "My kids have read the book." Noticing she was early 40's I suggested, "You should try them". Oh Gad, I'm telling complete strangers to read Twilight.

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  37. Oh puh-lease! You ladies will be just fine! You have amused us endlessly & I have no doubt, will continue to do so. You could make reading the telephone book funny! Just post whatever, don't worry about matching up to the Oward phenomenon. We will all still come here, read, laugh, hork liquid out of our noses & other such insanities! We love you both & we will never be disappointed in you. It all came together from start to finish as one of those once in a lifetime moments, that led to monumental hilarity & complete genius on both your parts! Perhaps we do owe fuck-face Segal a thank you, as without his pettiness over the best RPattz photos we've ever seen, this would never have come to pass. Maybe someday we will be able to publicly feast our eyes on the fuckhawtness again. Until then, we will treasure our contraband on our harddrives...
    I am off now to read the rest of that hilarious list. Take care, ladies. You still rock this TwiUniverse we all live in!

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  38. i'm glad i'm not the only one who had never noticed what that autograph actually said. that shit is awesome.

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  39. First of all I have to say your site kicks ass. It's one of the first I visit when I get online. :)

    I love Sparklepeen. I love saying the word over and over....sparklepeen. I can imagine his peen being all sparkly. So sparkly that it blinds me. :D

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  40. @Twinatic - nice picture! So..what?, we just shout out something we want and then you deliver? Um.. I would like...oh nevermind. :D

    Actually, if anyone had the contraband and just happened to post it into the comments, is that breaking the rules? Is that even possible? Oh well. My excuse for watching the youtube video 45 times a day is that it might get pulled at any minute.

    W/V: poevigoi--the word verification master must be drunk. This one doesn't make any sense to me.

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  41. #TwiFixx kinda, I've been told I've got mad google skills, I can find things, usually, if they're out there...

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  42. Writers block is basically a cock block by the blog gods. They see you doing fucking awesome and stick their giant cocks in the way, hoping to slip it in the hole you just got all slippery wet with anticipation of penetration. Is it just me or was that like a really sick version of Jesse Jackson - I mean that was even bad for me.

    Don't worry their dicks will get soft and they'll leave you alone.

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  43. I also LOVE Beardward. I recently found a LARGE pic that FILLS the screen. Christ I want to lick his eyebrows and rub my naughty bits on his scruffy chin!! God help me LOL

    wv = foolisms ....'nuff said

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  44. I am not worried--are you worried? Naaah, nothing to worry about you two are too full of snarky, creative, sassy twi-lovin' goodness to worry your pretty heads--I have faith in my fearless leaders.

    Love the glossary! How very useful. Though 'fuckjawesome' was not in there..I may have to submit it.

    @JJ@LKW--Me heart Beardbert/Beardward the mostest too--can we share? Please? Mr. Vitamin R is often scruffy and I love it more than ever now.

    FTR--Mini E can always fill the creative void. In n Out Hamburglar--there is way more where that came from if you ever need inspiration.

    P.S. Finished what is written thus far of CW&IA last night. Holy freakin' Pierceward will the smutty madness ever stop....need to go buy more batteries now. Ta! Ta!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oh puh-lease! You ladies will be just fine! You have amused us endlessly & I have no doubt, will continue to do so. You could make reading the telephone book funny! Just post whatever, don't worry about matching up to the Oward phenomenon. We will all still come here, read, laugh, hork liquid out of our noses & other such insanities! We love you both & we will never be disappointed in you. It all came together from start to finish as one of those once in a lifetime moments, that led to monumental hilarity & complete genius on both your parts! Perhaps we do owe fuck-face Segal a thank you, as without his pettiness over the best RPattz photos we've ever seen, this would never have come to pass. Maybe someday we will be able to publicly feast our eyes on the fuckhawtness again. Until then, we will treasure our contraband on our harddrives...
    I am off now to read the rest of that hilarious list. Take care, ladies. You still rock this TwiUniverse we all live in!

    ReplyDelete

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