Friday, September 11, 2009

How Does YOUR Family Deal With Your Twilight Obsession???

Who loves you, baby?

So Jenny Jerkface is on her way to Colorado at this very moment, ditching me again and leaving me to my own devices... Seriously, she's like my wife or something but without the sex and I miss her when she's gone. Oh, and maybe I need to get out more, because while I [heart] "staycations" and rarely wander too far from home, it's starting to feel like maybe I should go someplace, too... In her defense, JJ had amazingly good intentions of setting me up with numerous blog-ready rants to entertain you with in her absence, but while I didn't call her on it until she was completely stressed, frantically throwing stuff into a suitcase and desperately searching for her missing glass of wine (2-to-1 odds it turns up in the luggage), I suspected it wasn't gonna happen. And that it was OK. Because when you are trying to leave town for a long weekend, move, buy a house [yes, that process is ongoing because nothing is as simple as it should be], handle an ill-timed work crisis or three, AND be Twitarded, something's gotta give!

So I was sitting here, despondent, trying to convince Mr. Snarky that the time had come for him to don his blogger hat and write something incredibly witty and wondering wtf I was going to do when suddenly salvation arrived in the form of one of our own, Twitarded bff and bloggy reader "NeedsIntervention." She is also one of the winners of the "100-ish Ways Twilight Has Changed My Life" contest! Winners were selected randomly, but I still love her entry and use it frequently - she wrote "In place of 'please?' at the end of his requests, my 8-year-old son asks me, "Pretty please--with Robert Pattinson on top?'" - classic!

Apparently, thing have take a turn for the slightly-less-cute and somewhat-more-manipulative worse, according to NeedsIntervention... I'll let her explain, because frankly, her eloquent and hysterical email had me in tears (amongst other things):

Dear JJ and STY,

I go to your blog everyday to be "home" with "the others." I'm a grown, middle-aged woman with two college degrees, two children, and a husband, and I can't seem to shake this obsession. Why?! Argh! And to have my own son accuse (torment?) me, the way Molly Ringwald accuses Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink, "You're ashamed of me, aren't you?! Say it! You're ashamed of me! Just say it!". Even if he leaves me a "gift" and tells me that now I can look at my Edward Cullen vampire every night. [More on that in a sec...]

I’m hoping that my sharing of how I’ve been bullied lately might open the door for other Twitards to come forward to comfort one another; perhaps a therapy group might be the solution.

There are repercussions for being a Twitard: Family members can hurt the ones they love. (This is a two-part confession.)

Part I:

I once was the mother of that 8-year-old boy who asked, "Pretty please--with Robert Pattinson on top?" --And the winner of a very cute embroidered Twitarded T-shirt, which by the way is fab, so thanks to Deb/Red Bella and all her talent and hard work! I have your blog emblem faces on the front and "Twitarded" embroidered on the back. She added silver thread throughout so that I can "sparkle" when I'm in the sun. I'd send you a picture of myself in it, but I'd die mortified that there is living proof of my Twitardedness. I’m deep in the closet still. I plan to wear it to watch New Moon though.

I am now a mother of a used-to-be sweet 8-year-old boy.

First, I bring this suffering upon myself by not having the self-control to suppress (oppress?) my tween-like glee over all things Rob/Twilight. This summer, however, my son has ruthlessly tormented me about my obsession. I've had to put my foot down and threaten him if he so much breathes the words "my mom," "Robert Pattinson," “Edward Cullen,” or “Twilight” in any order of arrangement together out in public . . .

But at home, it's another story. It's like I'm being blackmailed. I am being blackmailed! He makes up lyrics about Twilight and sings them tauntingly to me as I walk past him; he asks me when I plan to wear my Twitarded t-shirt out—“Are you ashamed? Are you? Well, are you!?”, he draws my face over a Time Magazine cover that has a wedding cake and tells me that the "couple" on the cake is me and Rob, he rolls his eyes and sighs with exasperation when he sees me reading one of those very, very thick black books—“Again?!?”

One night in particular, after putting my two kids to bed, I walk into my bedroom and see something small and black on the ceiling. What is it? I get closer and realize that my precious son has equated his mom’s craziness for a book and movie about vampires with a love . . . for . . . bats. Behold, my son had drawn, cut out, and taped a black bat, bloody fangs and all, to my ceiling directly above my side of the bed. In his own innocence, he equated vampire Edward Cullen with a blood-sucking bat and had left me a bedtime present. (Oh. My. Son. Loves. Me.)


But wait! There’s more.

Part II:


My husband must be in cahoots with my son. One day I came home from work and opened my laptop (to read my favorite Rob/Twilight blogs) and a HUGE close-up of Rob’s face greets me. (I could count his eyelashes; it was that large and that hi-def.) After I gasp and then coyly smile back at Rob, I get angry. *growl* Had my husband gone through my Rob pictures folder on my laptop?! How dare he go rifling through my personal stuff, those are my folders, my pictures . . . my husband walks in right then and asks innocently, "Did you see the present I left you? It took me forever on Google images to find a large enough picture to fit your screen." Oh.

Again, this week, I come home and find that my husband’s “gift” on my desktop has changed. This time, it's a snarling Edward Cullen with a bubble that says, "I'm not good enough for you, NeedsIntervention." Oooh. That. does. it. I'm so pissy now. My husband walks in the room all smug and proud of his new "gift" that he left me: "Did you like my new gift?" he asks hopefully, "I searched the web for 'Edward Cullen' quotes. I'm not sure when he says it to Bella, but I thought it was perfect for you." (Oh. My. Husband. Loves. Me.)

Yesterday, I replaced my husband’s latest desktop gift with a massive picture of Grizzly-Adams Rob. I came home and asked my husband if he used my laptop. His response: “Yes, and I had no idea that Rob had such piercing eyes.”

I'm never ashamed when I read your blog. Surely, others are being tormented by their loved ones for their wacky obsession for Rob and Twilight. I suffer in silence and alone.

Maybe you can have another contest: "Top 100: How Family Members/Friends Have Tormented Me About My Love for Twilight/Rob."? Did I tell you that I overheard my 4-year-old daughter tell her pretend friend, "My mom's email is 'Robert Pattinson dot com'." WTF? How does she even know what a "dot com" is?!

I seriously need an intervention right now--especially since my husband just walked into the room (why is this a recurring motif in my life these days?) and said, "Hey, Colin Firth called today, and he says he misses you. You didn't even know it was his birthday today, did you? *tisk* Nothing good can come of this."

I've left the bat on my ceiling since June. It makes me smile: it's my Edward bat who watches over me.

I very nearly peed myself when I read this. OK, fine, there may have been some pee involved and my "holy crap this day sucked" super-sized cocktail may have been laid to waste by spewage (sorry, laptop screen!). But NeedsIntervention asks a question that I think needs to be asked... How has YOUR family responded to your Twilight obsession??? Better? Worse?! And if you are not out of the closet even with your nearest and dearest, how do you hide your obsession (because that's gotta take some serious effort!)???

Tell us all about it in the comments!

94 comments:

  1. My daughter says I need professional help! Mostly they just kinda roll their eyes and chuckle, but they are still supporting my decision to go to Forks this weekend and spend 10 days out there. Be there for Bella's bd when they have Stephenie Meyer Day and I hope to see it all! One gave me his airline miles to fly and paid my rental car (in exchange for some serious babysitting I did earlier this summer & partially for Mother's Day)my daughter paid me for some painting I helped her with, another son helped out too - still not quite what I was hoping to accumulate for this trip, but a long way from the $200 I had to start with!! I couldn't be going without their help in spite of their misgivings and thoughts of locking me in a looney bin!
    The kids are still a lot more supportive than my mom & sibs, they seriously think I am in the "Twilight Zone"! But I do not care, I love Twilight! Forks, here I come!

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  2. i go to great lengths to hide my twitardedness.

    i only watch the electronic version of the movie, on my laptop, when i'm alone and locked in my room (which is much more frequent since i got twitarded). i hid the dvd. and the books. same place i hide some other...stuff. (which is convenient.)

    i 'private browse' when i'm reading fanfic and reading blogs. JUST in case someone else uses my computer and sees my history. twitarded is the only blog i have bookmarked. i use the blogroll to read other blogs.

    i try not to buy anything twi-related. i broke down and bought the new moon us weekly. i tried to be all stealth...i bought a vanity fair with it. i didnt really want the vanity fair. but i slipped the us weekly under it when i handed it to the cashier. fuck me if that cashier didn't start going ON AND ON about how ridiculous twitardiness is...really loud...TOTALLY embarrassing. he thought it was funny and that i thought it was funny that he was making fun of me. i didn't. i've been so traumatized i don't know whether i'll be able to buy one of the mags again. won't go near merch.

    i publicly denounce twilight anytime it comes up in conversation. sometimes even when it doesn't come up in conversation.

    i plan on going to the NM premiere incognito.

    sigh.

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  3. I was in Walmart with my 6 year old..I was looking at tote bags and there was one with the Jonas Brothers (This is the day after the Teen Choice Awards), and my son says very loudly, "Mommy you love the Jonas Brothers!" I quietly said no I didn't, to which he replied "Yes you do! You watched that show with them!" So here I am aruging with my kid about how I don't like the Jonas Brothers.....5 minutes later....I'm looking at the books, and there was a book called Blue Moon, to which my son once again loudly says, "Mommy that book is Blue Moon, but you have New Moon and you love New Moon!"

    If I'm on a Twilight blog he proceeds to call me a Twilight Lover.

    I have a Rob poster in my garage, and when my son first saw it, he asked why Edward was in our garage!

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  4. YAY! i'm first! i think its a testament to how i need to get a life, but anyways...

    I live with my best friend who for all intents and purposes is my brother. He's an awesome guy and we get along on every level possible... with one MAJOR exception... as you can guess by now.

    Since Twilight and Robert Pattinson essentially took over my life a few months back i get NOTHING but grief... EVERY time I'm on the internet I get questions like "what crappy twilight shit are you reading now?" etc etc... I torture him with pictures of Rob on the desktop (since we share my laptop) but I give in to his love for Cam Gigandet and grace it with his beautiful bod every now and then...

    the BEST was when a fellow twitard and myself got together on one sunday to have brunch, mimosas and BOMBARD my roommate with twilight before he knew what was happening... OF COURSE being the dirty minded gay man he is, the movie was filled with comments from him like "is he at least gonna fist her?" and "where are all the gay vampires?"

    Needless to say, altho he tortures me, he was kind enough to buy my new moon ticket for me :) I claim its cause he loves me that much... he claims it's so he doesn't have to hear me whine every day :-P

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  5. Just have to point out that I was also embarrassed that I was watching the Teen Choice Awards...but anything with Rob and I'm glued!

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  6. Oh my goodness i did pee my pants....this just sounds way to familiar!!! i caught my husband on my computer the other day after he was pretty much done and i go on to see my screensaver (which is a million pics of rob) defaced!!!! talk about photoshopped- theres pirate rob, getting it up the but rob, bleeding nipple rob, booger rob and so on! it was like he had been on the computer for hours defilling my pics!!!! and as for my five year old daughter...well she loves to tell everyone im a twi-mom. the other night while she was taking a shower she said to me "mom, so should you tell your husband that you have a twi-boyfriend?" also she decided to give me a pedicure and painted my toenails black and red, well after the paint dried she told me my toes looked like a vampire bit me and maybe i should show daddy my "twi-toes"....im so happy the other kids are to young to start giving me crap!!!!

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  7. I try to avoid grocery shopping or any stores with magazine racks at the checkout if I am with my 5 year old daughter. If she is with me and Rob is on a cover (which lets face it, he always is) I have to brace myself for what is going to come out of her mouth, "Mom look! It's your boyfriend from Twilight!!" I used to hang my head in shame but now I just accpet it and sometimes even pick up the mag to check out the pics.

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  8. My family has been a trooper with my Twi/Rob obsession. I thought, by doing my own blog, and having a Twitter account, I would have a place to share my love, and in turn, share less w/ them. Definitely hasn't been the case. In fact, I've been sharing more than they would have ever wanted know. My two teenage daughters, who should be the ones who like Twilight, absolutely loathe anything related to it. They don't even think Rob is cute. (I know - the horror - how could they be related to me!) Even my sweet 9 year old has gone on their bandwagon. My hubby is a patient man, but he's at his breaking point. He hears about Twilight at the office now, as 4 of the ladies that sit near him are Twi-freaks. The only one that has remained utterly loyal to my Twi/Rob love is my 4 year old. She loves Twilight as much as I do - well, as much as a 4 year old can. She thinks Bella is beautiful, and Edward is handsome. She'll watch Twilight with me whenever I want. She even has a favorite song on the soundtrack - Full Moon. She requests it every time we get in the car.

    Okay, I totally digress...but my hubby is at his breaking point. He uses my Twi/Rob obsession to get back at me when we fight. He defaced one of my Oscar Rob pictures. I was trying to find it but my organizational system sucks.

    Anyway, thanks for a very entertaining post...so glad I'm not the only one out there!

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  9. My mom used to just brush it off as just another teenage fad but now she seriously thinks theres something wrong with me since all i ever talk about is twilight and rob. She gets freaked out when I can just randomly say some random twilight news fact or releate something totally random directly to twilight. i tried to get her into them so we could be obsessed together, but she never finished eclipse!! i got so mad at her, and i still am! how can someone just stop reading eclipse!She always says i really need to "get a hobby" i balance my total twilight obsession with school and dance class and dance team at school! thats a pretty big accomplishment, and if twilighting isnt a hobby, i dont know what is. my brothers heckling is a different story, hes 20 (5 years older than me) so naturally he does not understand why im so addicted and why i think its so good. hes 'dissapointed' in my 'poor movie taste'. i know twilight wasnt the best made movie ever but all the actors were amazing(and drop dead gorgeous and/or sexy), so he really should understand. but all he ever does is make fun of me and tell me that i need to get over it. i will NEVER get over it!! the worst part about being twilight is when you let it slip at school or something about how obsessed you are and people (esp. boys) say "wow i just lost my reps'ect for you". im always like really? i like a series of really good books and you cant respect me anymore? thats just dumb.' its fun to be so into a trendy book series! i love being absolutly overly, unhealthily obsessed with twilighttt!!!! :)

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  10. For the most part my family is supportive. My daughter and son make a point to loudly announce anything and everything Twi related, especially in public...like the grocery store, or Wallyworld..etc. so that I don't miss it. Of course everyone around us doesn't miss it either that they are addressing that their Mom wants these things..not them. (Uncomfortable stares abound) My Mom really did not want to get into the Saga...I had to brow beat her daily to read the books. Much to my delight she got hooked, not to the degree I am of course..but hooked none the less. My new quest is to get a mini Edward...which I swore I would not do in the beginning and how stupid I thought they were...HA! What did I know?? They are not as supportive about the FSE that I covet after seeing your's...I really need one! As for extended family...my sister is a complete bung hole about it! She defiles my Facebook notes with sarcastic snipits as much as she can....too bad her co-worker is in on it with me! We banter back and forth and trade pictures...pisses my Sista off! That's what you get messing with me and my Twitopia! Anywhoo...I love this blog...I really really do. Fanpire from TN

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  11. So... my co-workers are the ones who give me the most crap. (I think my parents are truly worried about my sanity (or lack thereof), so they'd rather not bring up Twilight, Robert Pattinson, or the fact that their cute, smart, and sweet 35-year old daughter is still single.)

    Anyway, my co-workers are a group of 12 guys ranging in age from 22 to 33, all younger than me... and they all tell me I need a real man...

    I loved the suggestion they left on my iPhone one day when I wasn't looking. It was shocking and hilarious to find this as my background when I got home one night: http://gallery.me.com/loriotto#100305

    I heart those silly boys... but not as much as I heart Rob!! ;)

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  12. Me! me! I have one. My husband is in a fantasy football league with his cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, etc. They needed one more team to make an even 10 member league, so he asked me if I wouldn't mind fielding a team. No problem I said, and he went back to the computer to "draft" or whatever they do.

    Later on that night he calls me over to the computer: "well, here's your team-" He had named it "The Cullen Swans". I was fairly impressed! He hasn't read the books as far as I know. Not sure if anyone will call me out on it!

    It's really funny that now I get ESPN Fantasy League email updates about trades and rosters all addressed to The Cullen Swans. Fantasy indeed.

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  13. I´m out of the closet since some time now and MrV, my parents and some RLivers know my obsession.
    I don´t have to strength to hide it anymore. ;)

    I guess my parents were fine until I took Mini-E at the B-Day party from MrV´s mother out of the pocket, that´s where they freaked out and realized the dimension of my obsession. They can´t understand at all why their 31 year old daughter plays with a doll. And a few comments on that I just have to endure..

    MrV is pretty cool. He forced me to start my own blog , which is a big help when you reached that level of obsession. And during our holidays he ( ! ) started suggesting possible Mini-E picks. Even some I was too embarrassed to take.
    *Take out Mini-E and let him do this and that"

    So I´d say I´m quite happy with my family. MrV is the coolest and that´s the most important thing :)

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  14. To be honest, most of my family doesn't know about my Twi/Rob obsession. They know I love the movie/books, but they know nothing about Rob. In fact, at dinner one night (uncle's birthday), my cousin and his wife started talking about Twilight and my cousin said, "And what's his name...Bob, Tom...something...patter...something..." His wife said, "Oh yeah, all the girls think he's so cute." I shut my mouth. But wondered how they'd react to knowing me, at 31, have a total teenaged-like crush on him.
    My friends, on the other hand, are a mix. Most are supportive and some also enjoy the books/movies. I don't have any friends who are actually Rob-obsessed like me. I do have one friend who actually told me, "This Rob thing is getting a little creepy." She no longer makes fun of me, but I expect she's thinking I need to be locked up or something. LOL I no longer mention anything Twilight or Rob related to her.

    One of my co-workers still says regarding Rob, "I think he's ugly." Oh well, I guess it's not for everyone. I adore him! :)

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  15. Hmmm. My family teases me about my Twilight obsession but compared to a lot of things in my life that have happened, they really don't get on my case about it anymore. ;) It all started a while ago, I was a Xena nut at first and caught utter hell for that, oh gods did I get hell for that, for years, from my family and everyone. Of course that was like an addiction it was Xena this and that, and it came with a reading addiction (see how I got addicted to Twilight it ties in stick with me here.) Then I discovered the internet and fan-fics. Oh it was wonderful. Then my family begins wanting to stage some kind of intervention. UGH! Really? So I cold turkied it, let go of addictions.

    Then this Twiligt thing comes out, and up comes out some new kind of addiction. Now many years have passed since the Xena thing, and a several experiences that kind of left them with a regard for seeing me excited about anything really. So I don't get much flak about it really.

    But the strange thing is, the same way that a lot of people here say there family or friends torment them about Twilight is the same way I show my fandom.Heh....

    :looks around the corner from suddenly hiding in horror:

    :Whispers:

    Does that make me a bad fan?

    :Tears up at the thought:

    Am I a bad fan?

    Of course I'm the leader in my college classes for wearing Twilight gear. It's some kind of thing to not show you actually like it if you can't handle the heat that might come with it. I have both of my backpacks sporting buttons with Twilight stuff on them. I wear my team Edward shirt, take my vampire books to school, write my fan-fic in class, and all sorts of stuff right out in public. I also have blue and purple hair (I'm a bit of a rebel anyway, maybe that helps a bit.) But some others tend to follow my lead. I notice other people wearing their shirts after I wore mine. I live with one foot in some fantasy realm anyway, eh, oh well.

    My mum is happy for anything that gets me talking to people, and I can certainly talk about Twilight, oh boy can I. And although I think Rob is cute, Jackson is my fave (Yep I'm one of them Jasper fans.)

    So my family just kind of leaves me alone about it, they don't understand Twilight, but they leave me alone. They've only watched the movie, and won't read the books. Alas. Some just can't be converted, but I'll live with them just being neutral.

    For those who feel the pain of families who don't understand. I may be small but I have strong shoulders, you can lean on me, I feel your pain, even if I don't share it.

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  16. I am partly out of the closet, my oh and kids know i am obsessed with twilight & anything related, my oh bought me the directors notebook for my b/day, but they don't know i go on every blog/ff site i can find and stay there all day lol.

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  17. I am very out of the closet with my Mom and husband. My mom and I talk about the books and squee together, but my husband...yea. He accepts that I have read the series many, many, many (Etc) times, and he generally leaves me to it. But the fanfiction....here we go. He actually tells people I read it like OHMG she sits there for HOURS and reads these vampire sex stories...OHMG. I'm like okay dude listen, first off they aren't ALL vampire stories and it IS a vampire based book so its okay so fuck off on that. Secondly, they are full of hot sex which is awesome. And third, you're just saying that cause you're jealous of Wideawakeward/Inkward/Dickward/Niceward/Inkward so fuck off on that too. His general response is *........*. I win, end of conversation :)

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  18. I am completely out of the closet. I have been banned about talking about the series at the Beauty College I am attending on Fridays. ALL my fellow students walk in on a Friday morning, look at me and remind me that it is a Twilight free zone day.

    Can I just say also that I was at college the other day and I had already completed the work that had to be done for the afternoon, so I asked my teacher if I could read my book. She said yeah no problem. But when she seen me pull Twilight out of my bag she changed her mind and told me that I might offend other people in the class by reading it and asked me to put it away.. Could that be some form of racism?? I mean what if I was to pull a bible out and we had muslims in the class she wouldn't be able to tell me to put it away because it would offend them??? Anyway my first response to that before I got angry about it was.. Oh my gosh have you read it.. What did you think?? When she wouldn't comment is when the anger set in..

    Everytime I meet someone one of the first questions I ask them is 'have you read Twilight?' If they haven't then comes the next statement of 'Let me educate you then'. I have gotten so many people addicted to (dare I say) even more addicted than myself.

    When I first read the series and had no one too talk about it (it was such a lonely time in my life) I would go to the book section in shops or an actual book shop and pretend to be looking for a book. I waited and stalked people who picked the book up or just looked a little interested just so I could chat to them about it.. The shop keepers caught onto what was going on and as a result we are now on first name basis. I will randomly and unashamely stop people in the street who are wearing any form merchandise just to have a chat about my passion... My husband usually walks the other way or will be in sniper mode when we're out so he can drag me in another direction if anything just smells like Twilight. My hubby honestly believes that I can smell it. And quite frankly I think he's right. I'm sure its in my DNA or a sixth sense of mine to spot the smallest thing out.

    My 10 year old Son just deals now. He used to often tell me that I have a problem then I got real mad and threaten to ground him so he has learnt real quick to keep his mouth shut.. If I buy him something and say when I get home 'Guess what I bought today?' He alwasy says (in a mobid tone of voice) 'something Twilight'..

    I don't care what my family think. They frequently tell me that I am bonkers and I frequently agree with them.. I always tell them they just don't understand its a Twilight thing or to read the books then come and talk to me.. I hope I didn't bore you too much but when I get to talking about my passion there is no stopping me unless this has limited character. LOL.

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  19. Only you (collective all of you) know and understand the level of my obsession. Fortunately one of my teenaged daughters LOVES Twilight so I'm really just being supportive and bonding by watching the movie together, listening to the books on tape together or driving her to LA to meet Peter Facinelli or catch a performance of 100 Monkeys. I get to walk past her room and gaze longingly at all of the posters covering her walls without actually having to admit to owning them. I email her pictures I find of the "boys" so I have an excuse as to why they are on my phone. All of my blog or fanfic reading is done on my iPhone or occasionally via privatebrowsing on the family computer when I'm home alone. I make a point of limiting the number of times I say Rob's name, because honestly Im afraid even my daughter thinks I'm getting a little weird about it. I also changed my bookmarks because everything was beginning with the letters "Twi".... This blog is under T-tard and Twicrack Addict is listed under "confession", that
    way they're all over the place. My husband wanted to know what I was constantly reading on my iPhone, To which I replied, " oh, it's an unpublished novel off the
    Internet. (Wide Awake). I get alot of eyerolls from my other daughter (non-Twilight-indoctrinated), because she always calls me out on it. She knows when I can't stop grinning or giggling then whatever I'm doing is somehow Twilight or Rob related. I try to keep a straight face when I tell her I'm just listening to a band called "Paramore" or looking at pictures of Italy, but she gives me "the look" and I'm like a schoolgirl unable to contain my composure. I kinda keep hoping this obsession will just go away, but so far no such luck.

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  20. It IS nice to have one person in my (RL) life who semi-shares this obsession. My daughter and I were up late watching a recording of " Supernatural". When Dean called someone an "asshat", we both squeeled!!! I KNEW it - he reads "Wide Awake!!. Haha. :D

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  21. readingfanficinthedarkSeptember 11, 2009 at 6:29 AM

    I just started my internship at the hospital, and have been forced to hide my twilight-crazed over-obsessive ass from the public. While i'm at work, having completely inappropriate thoughts involving unicorns and office desks (yes those were both fic references!) i have to think about my comments to fellow co-workers, because as sure as darkward is my bff, they will think i am one crazy mofo! I went into surgery the other day, and i shit u not the surgeons had a montage of sexy robward pics playing on the humongous (seriously, why is there a t.v this big in a hospital?) flat screen. As i stood there in total aww over these glorious surgeons, one of them came over and patted my shoulder, while cleverly picking my jaw off of the floor, and said " we can't hide forever..". Wow..words to live by.

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  22. My family is awesome! My 12-year-old taped an RPattz poster to the ceiling above my bed. My mother-in-law, who really enjoyed the books but did not become Twitarded over it, bought me a Twilight lunch box for my birthday (with an Edward thermos!)

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  23. Um, I think you know about my "in the closet" problems.

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  24. holy fuck! The ending is hilarious!! She's a Darcy girl!! :D Darcy was my first literary love when I was a teenager...and now I'm sure he thinks I'm cheating on him.

    I hardly read anymore pride and prejudice fan fiction, and I was in the middle of writing one when I set it aside to start a twilight fan fiction.

    But Darcy shouldn't worry too much, I'm not cheating on him with Edward Cullen, just with Robert Pattinson ;)

    p.s. In my family my sister is a total hater and she tells me regularly that she can't handle my dorkiness. However she is outnumbered because I have 3 twiobsessed cousins I can always count on for a good squeal :)

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  25. We (my twitardy bff and I) took my 3 month old godson to the mall with us to meet Peter Facinelli. There's video of it, where you can distinctly hear me say "I'm gonna rip that bitch's ponytail out by the fucking roots" (she was probably about 8) as well as my friend say to her son "That's your real daddy." He's going to need therapy...

    We've also considered starting to talk to him in a British accent so that he has one when he starts to talk. His dad just rolls his eyes at us and mumbles "test tube baby" (that's his nickname for Rob) under his breath.

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  26. My family really don't care about my obsession which means I get free run of everything Twilight related. Including printing out around 50 pages of Twilight related pictures.

    My mum just looks at me and shakes her head a little and now refuses to enter my room any further than throwing clothes at me because the sheer amount of eyes staring at her from my wall. But she has been a good sport and left up the Twilight pics folder I have on her laptop. She once came into my room and went "You know what's his face? You have a folder with his pictures on my laptop" I Just stared at her and nodded before continuing with what I was doing.

    I think they're greatful to the fact that I have a Twitarded buddy that I can squee with and do all the Twilight stuff with me.

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  27. I totally feel NeedsIntervention's pain. But my family are not nearly as supportive. In fact, before the hubs and I go anywhere, I make sure to tell him that if there is any mention of Twilight at the event, he can not, under any circumstances, call me out. I like to play all coy and feel the sitch out before I admit to more than 1 reading of the books and maybe having caught the movie. It's like I am the JJ looking for my own STY ;)
    My son (5) just says in an exasperated tone when he catches me watching the movie, reading the books, reading ff or google reader on my iphone: Mom, you are sooo into Twilight. The funny thing is I can be emailing on my phone or texting and it's still all about Twilight in his eyes. I think that he thinks I work, sleep and twilight.
    Also, the hubs totally hates my ff addiction. I can not for the life of me understand that silliness. I mean he's been getting more action since I got preggers the first time and now he's compaining. I think he secretly thinks I am fantasizing about Edward. Which by the way I am not (while in the act, maybe all other 23.9 hours of the day, but not then).
    Love the other Twitards because you make me feel like I'm home.

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  28. I'm still some what in the closet with my obsessions ...yeas they know I have the books and have read them more than ones , no they don't know that I have read them 100 times over ....my husband complains to the reason as to why on my computer all my background picts that ones use to be us or the girls are now Twilight related or Rob related ..., and of course all family related things are on hold for something as important as a movie , so instead of going on vacation that weekend we just left it for the following one ...As my husband said , it is craziness and I respond ...so what ! My 10 yrs old tells me that Rob is not" the cutes thing" that I proclaim him to be , but that it is Taylor and that she knows this things better than me and my husband just laughs out loud to the nonsense as he calls it ..the 5 yr old like Emmet , go figure....yes I know I'm over doing it this thing this lovely obsession but heck I don't smoke or drink so as vices goes I think it is ok .....

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  29. Sounds oh so familiar! Every time I go out and my girls see Twilight or RPatz they start screaming "Mom! Look it's Edward!!!" as loud as they possibly can. I have however turned my son into an enabler. Recently we went on a trip and he was the one in charge of taking pictures of Mini-E and the signs of "Jasper County" and "Newton County"...etc. He will occasionally roll his eyes, especially when I'm reading Twitared and laughing my ass off. The DH just rolls his eyes and walks away. He has no clue as to how obsessed I am. Good thing he works nights because that's when I break out the Edward PJs and watch the movie for my nightly sans-hubby ritual.

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  30. I'm single. So I don't have to hide anything from anyone :)

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  31. I have never been an embarrassed in the closet fan. Which is pretty sad for a 30 year old to admit. All of my friends and family are aware of this. I just get the smart ass comments and eye rolls from my husband anytime I am caught "researching" Rob or anything Twilight related. (Like just now- he said "Are you REALLY commenting on a Twilight blog?!") The best/cutest thing has to be that my 8 year old daughter uses "momlovesrob" as her screen name for every account she opens on line. Since my husband's name is NOT Rob, she often has to explain to her friends what she is talking about!!!

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  32. My husband torments the shit out of me and thinks its quite comical to do so. I recently admitted the escalation in my obsession by telling him about the fabulous fanfic smut I've been reading and tried telling him he had it to thank for the recent increase in our extracurricular activities. Him, showing his true jackassery, tried to play it off on his mad skills which I then rebutted, WHAT mad skills?! Yeah, going to hell in a hand basket for that low of a blow....My kids, on the other hand, are amazing! My 10 year old son takes my side and defends my obsession to my husband on a daily basis. He even agreed to watch the VMAs with me this weekend <3. The 6 year old daughter likes to switch sides. Sometimes she coos and squees with me over jawporn and other days she says "are you looking at pictures of that man with the big hair again!?" Little shit....

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  34. So, I'm 37, married, with two kids and I am totally obsessed with Rob and anything Twilight related! It has gotten to the point that I am seriously considering hypnosis.
    My 40 year old sister is just as hooked as I am. We call each other every day to discuss any new FF or pics of Rob & Co., and to discuss any recent dreams (really loved to hear that you had a dream about meeting Rob too, STY). My 7 year old son is supportive but he will point out any magazine, book, or poster of the Twilight people and say (of course, very loudly) "Hey Mom, do you already have this?" I haven't allowed him to watch the whole movie, but he has seen some parts like the baseball scene. He likes the music and asks me to play "that Twilight" music while we are in the car. I did notice that when I was reading Eclipse (for the 3rd or 4th time) my son rolled his eyes and said “Again?”

    I have started to hide more things from the DH because recently while we were in a heated argument it may have come out that I, how should I say this, have “relations” with Robward every night in my dreams! It was shouted in vengeance, but I think he feels there was some truth to that and it hurt him. So, I have tried not to mention Rob when he is around. **(hopefully, he won't notice the huge poster of Robert form the Oscars hanging on the back of the closet door!) He does know that I have really gotten into the Twiporn and doesn’t seem to mind the mood it puts me in. He’s never really had to deal with such a big obsession from me before – I used to have a crush on Jared Leto and post some of his pics on my desktop, but now it’s all about RP! Damn you RP, for those sexy eyes, and messy hair, and yummy lips, and….wait. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Needing Intervention.

    My mom doesn't get it that my sister & I are so addicted and I know she thinks we have issues. I have turned about three of my friends into Twinerds just recently and I love being able to share this with them.
    I do think I spend too much time wrapped up in the Twiworld, but it makes me happy.

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  35. My 4 year old thinks that Robert Pattinson is his baby-daddy. THAT'S an interesting story, let me tell you! No energy to type it all in right now, because I stayed up until 5am talking to my friend Roxx and doing vodka shots in honor of the new Stoli shirt... what they hell was I saying?

    I hide my addiction by obsessing vicariously through my friends. It's always, *eyeroll* "Roxx wanted me to find that pic of Rob where he has those black boots on..." or "Teri send me this funny link--you know how crazy she is about Twilight!" And my Rob-porn stash? All just a collection of "Christmas gifts" for my besties. God help me when Christmas comes and I have to give them up!

    Anyway, let me know if you are interested in running the paternity test on my son. I have pics and everything, and his argument is pretty damned convincing, even if it does involve time travel and Kevin Bacon!

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  36. my husband hates my robsession and all my twilight goodies are kept in the office where i can sigh at rob's pics from every angle i turn. Since home is off limits, i try to turn my office as conducive to twilight as possible. i have been evangelizing twilight to my colleague. My hard core critic who was a complete twilight virgin got turned into a mush now coz i made a bet with her that if she reads the books and still do not like them I'll happily hand her 50 bucks! N of coz she ended up loving it! My boss surprised me with a gossip mag which had rob on the cover out of the blue! N "Edward Cullen" is sprouted by my 2 yr old every time i read something twilighty!

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  37. Thank you NeedsIntervention for sharing with STY and JJ; and STY – GREAT IDEA sharing it with your fellow Twitards!! Thank you! I tell ya… you guys save me sometimes because my friends think I’m insane and my husband can only take so much Twilight obsession on a daily basis…BUT…here’s the thing…I have to say…I’m pretty damn lucky!! JM (my husband) is thoroughly engrossed with my obsession with Twilight. Everyday he asks me what Edward would think about something or some Twilight type question. “What is Renesmee??” “Well, what does the Voluturi think of her??” (he’s NEVER read or seen any Twilight, but yet he remembers everything I tell him…I was very impressed that he remembered the Voluturi). Here’s the funny thing…it’s starting to get annoying – I mean, it’s been going on for a year now. I’ll be reading one of the big black books and he’ll walk in the room and ask “What’s Bella and Edward doing now?” “Are they having sex yet?” “Does Renesemee have sex?” (He does forget that she’s just a baby). The questions go on and on and on… BUT, I won’t say anything b/c it’s better than him getting annoyed with me and my Twilight Obsession. I started watching True Blood the other week… “Where’s Edward…why isn’t he in this?” “Who would you rather suck – Edward or Bill?” (Sorry, that was a big vulgar, but I figured you wouldn’t mind… and of course my answer is EDWARD!). And who would have thought that JM would befriend my FSE (which by the way a friend of mine dumpster dove for… it was in the cardboard recycling bin and she totally got it for me). Take a peek at JM’s new BFF… He said that I wasn’t paying enough attention to him one night, so he decided to play music for FSE instead:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/cherylclifford/3891659746/

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  38. Not sure why I spelled Volturi wrong in my above post... duh. I'm ashamed. ;)

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  39. I feel for some of you!!!!

    The good thing about being the "den mother" of most if not all of you... is at 51... you can say to Hell with all of the negativity and blame your obsession/robsession on fluctuating hormones which you are forced to take for your panic attacks.

    I chose not to have children, so I dont feel I am lusting after someone who is my sons...(or grandsons) age....
    I live in a foreign country, which is vastly different from where I was raised and they all think I am "the gringa" (and therefore whacko) in anycase.
    So ladies, embrace your obsession and enjoy it whie it lasts...however long that may be.
    Tomorrow I am embracing my twitardiness and walking 30K with thousands of other people for cancer. I have the twitard logo,doodles and a pic of Rob in a baseball suit running with the logo "crap.. the twitards have found me".
    I will send pics when I return home.

    Jaima
    Ps I loved the bat pic on the ceiing...too cute!!!
    Also I love the humour that is on this site.

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  40. Needs Intervention, I feel your pain. I am a 38 yr-old SAHM with a masters degree, two kids (8 and 6) and am married to a college professor. So for his sake, I kind of stay in the closet with most of his friends (his co-workers.) I am out with my friends and fellow school-related moms. I don't care who knows.

    My family is mixed on their reaction. My daughter is jealous of my time devoted to Twilight/Edward. She relishes taking my mini E &B (which sit on my dresser in my bedroom) and hiding them or posing them about my room. She rolls her eyes when she catches me on the internet. My 6 yr old son is an enabler; he loves to point out Robsten on the various mag covers and yes he yells out "mom, it's your vampire again!" or "why is his face on every one?" He named his husky dog Webkinz "Wolfy Jacob Black"

    My husband is resigned to my obsession although I hide how much time I spend on the computer. He buys me Twi things-posters, magazines, etc. He went to see it at the theater with me and read the first two books. I think he just wants to understand what it is about it that has me hooked and honestly I can't pinpoint it either. He has invoked the name of Edward in various marital spats (ie. sorry I can't be like your Edward...etc.) He doesn't think RPattz is handsome so is mystified on why I am attracted to him...I wasn't at first but the Edward/RPattz distinction has become blurred for me.

    I got my MIL to read the saga but she is not obsessed. It was very weird when she tried to give DH pointers on how to be more Edward-like in the romance dept. We both just ran away as fast as we could !!!

    My masters is in counseling psych so maybe I could lead the online support group (although my license has expired LOL!)

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  41. Quick q... I've been meaning to ask...what does DH mean? I can't seem to figure it out... I know it has something to do with our husbands... right?

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  42. Love LOVE LOVE all of these comments/stories - thanks so much for sharing & I hope everyone can take the time to read them all - they're all great!!! This really made my morning!

    @jbafaith - TEN days in Forks?! WOOT!!! You'll have to let us know how it goes - have fun!!

    @Anonymous - wow - you are um, REALLY in the closet! I hope that is where you hide all your Twilight stuff since it sounds like you spend a lot of time in there - lol! You may win the prize for "Most Closeted" - you DENOUNCE the series in public?! haha! Um, you need to come out of that closet... C'mon - it's not that bad - you can do it! : )

    @Kristen - I have to admit that being lumped into "Team JoBros" does really smart sometimes - I actually get annoyed when I see Twilight&RPatts lumped into the same category as that tweeny-bopper boy band - it just ain't right!

    @Megan - It sounds like you are slowly converting your friend - yay! And A Twilight Sunday brunch?! I LOVE it - I NEED it! As soon as I figure out what the hell happened to JJ, I am totally putting that on my to-do list!

    @brandyb - LMFAO - ok, we ALL need to see pics of your DH's handiwork - please please email to me?! Sounds hysterical - at least he has a sens of humor!

    @crystal - Sounds like your kid is an enabler! JFTR, I once stood in line in front of a girl about that age (5-ish) as she patiently explained Edward and Bella to her eye-rolling father. It was all I could do not to jump in to help her - seriously, it was tough - lol!

    @half_my_self - Oh you are SO not alone - as you well know - lol! And, um, yeah... blogging might have seemed like a way to spare your family your Twilight obsession, but if it's anything like how things go in my house, blogging has only made the whole thing that much more all-consuming! And what is up with your teens?! They must be rebelling against all that is mainstream (but I bet they secretly spend their days writing "Mrs. Robert Pattinson" over and over again - hehe). : )

    @SaraCullen [takes deep breath; pretends you didn't just tell me how old you are]- What - you mean Twilight isn't a hobby??? It sure is for us - lol!

    @Anon/Fanpire - Getting other people hooked is great - I don't know why it's so satisfying, but it just IS. Definitely get yourself a mini-e - but I think unsupportive families&SOs may not be capable of dealing with FSE - he really is a tad much (he happens to be at my place now, scaring the bejesus out of me and Mr. Snarky several times a day).

    @Lori - LOL - that pic had me cracking up! At least everyone is playing along... Would it be wrong to put "Bella Seeks Her Edward" in the personals?? Bring your copy of Twilight to speed-dating??? no?? Might save you some trouble, right??? : )

    @PerfectDate - That's an awesome story! I love that "Mr. PerfectDate" seems to be playing along - too funny! "The Cullen Swans" - haha - I want to go make jerseys and stuff now... : )

    @Mrs. Vanquish - I've also had Mr. Snarky offer to take some pics - I embarrass more easily than he does, apparently! If that isn't love, I don't know what is! : )

    @Jules - Um, I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about the amount of time that I spend on "Rob Related" stuff... Like the blog is morphing - lol! But I figure it's all in good fun! I am actually considering putting a little Edward pic or greeting card on my desk at work (should I pretend someone else sent it to me? "oh that?! that's just a joke - haha" [shoves Robward into desk drawer...]

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  43. @Khismet - I think you sound like a great fan! And, um, I don't think there ARE any bad fans here at Twitarded - their computers would implode or something like that - lol! It sounds like you are doing your part on campus to spread the word... Well done!

    @Linda - Anyone who gives the Director's Notebook as a b-day present is definitely a keeper! Er, I think I bought my own but I need that stuff the second it hits the shelves so I can't blame Mr. Snarky for not being able to buy it for me as a gift... : )

    @Jenna - I am sure that your DH is reaping some benefits from your obsession... And that's great that you can share with your mom! I tried to get my mom on board, but so far, no luck. I haven't given up, though!

    @MnR - I don't consider myself to be a particularly litigious person, but I think I see the first "Twilight/Twitard Discrimination" lawsuit on our hands - lol! - someone call the Twitarded Legal Team, stat!!! That is weird, though - I mean, who would get offended by Twilight?! People are idiots - sheesh!

    @TwiFixx - haha - this KILLED me: "I also changed my bookmarks because everything was beginning with the letters "Twi"...This blog is under T-tard and Twicrack Addict is listed under "confession", that way they're all over the place." - how effing clever are you?! too funny - and, um, not a bad idea! Everyone can add that to their "private viewing" and other secrets-for-hiding-your-addiction arsenal. [Why do I suddenly feel like an alcoholic hiding a bottle in the toilet tank or something???] : )

    @readingfanficinthedark - Robward on the big screen in the OR?! Um, sure I'd like to be the person working in there buy holy crap that would be distracting! and NOW we all know the reason that people end up with sponges and scalpels left in them when their surgery is completed - lol! Makes perfect sense now...

    @Linda Bryant - I am not sure I would get much sleeping done if I had Robward above my bed. Just sayin'... : )

    @Latchkey Wife - I may have to come up there and take matters into my own hands yet - I can see it coming... {{{sigh}}} [goes off to pack up the TwitardedMobile...]

    Happy Friday everyone!! Thanks for making my morning! Sorry If I missed anyone who commented after I started this marathon novel of a reply - I'll be reading all day and hopefully will have time to chime in, too! Keep those stories coming - they're great!

    P.S. Lost my internet after I typed all of the above - SCREECH!!! Have it back for a sec and I cut&saved this but I am probably offline for a bit - sorry! But you guys all ROCK!!!

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  44. thankfully i live with my best friends and we are all equally obsessed so its not a big deal. my mom laughs at me, but her best friend is as into twilight as i am so she gets the brunt of the "wtf is wrong with you!?". apparently to my mom her 23 year old daughter obsessing over vampires is more acceptable than her 47 year old best friend of 37 years. the rest of the people in my life just think i really really like it and get a giggle over it here and there, but they dont know the extent of it. if they did i would be baker acted for sure.

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  45. when i got my wii i had my niece and nephew over...7 and 5.
    i was making mii's for it and thought...ooh! i'll make an edward mii. i grabbed my twilight dvd to look at for reference when my niece laughed at me and said loudly "you're making him?" i told her to shush cause my hubby would hear. that's when my nephew pipes up "i'm going to tell uncle steve!" in his loudest voice! he ran upstairs and told my hubby and my sil. all four of them proceeded to laugh at me.

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  46. Aside from my hubby worrying that I'll be arrested for sneaking into Rob's hotel room when I go over to Vancouver. He's pretty good about my obsession, mostly just rolls his eyes at me.
    He's even agreed to go to Stephenie Meyer Day next year in Forks for our Anniversary. What a guy eh?

    Thanks for the shout out @NeedsIntervention I'm glad you’re enjoying your T-shirt. I had fun making them.

    Wait till JJ & Sty see the surprise I put in the box of embroidered goodies that I just sent their way. Now I didn't embroidered them buy they just may make you squee...

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  47. Well Ok this was just the most recent not the most potent. (Quick what page does Bella identify three things about Edward, and uses the word "potent"? Hint the Book's back dust jacket uses the word "dominant" instead.)

    "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him---and I didn't know how POTENT thart part might be---that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was inconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Twilight pae 195

    Anyway the most recent example was last night.

    My 19 year old daughter has been sort of lost this last 18 months or so. She's flunked out of two different colleges, ended up in ICU from a drinking incident. MOVED TO CALIFORNIA with some boy. And so it goes.

    Well in the last week they've departed Hotel California and returned to Oklahoma about an hour away from home. Praise be to the Lord. At the last minute they decide they are bringing a truck to load up on everything they need for their apartment. So when you are a wanderer where do you go to get STUFF=everything. Of course home.

    So we are going through everything attic, first floor, second floor, chilhood crap, linen closets everything.

    The child found her 3rd grade science project (volcano) in th attic. Bras from cup sizes gone by. Bedspread from Jr High. Tampons in front of the boyfriend. Picture she broke over her sisters head. Anyway no shortage of stuff. About which there were relatively mild comments regarding my "saving". Saving for a day like this I say.

    Anyhow the only thing in 2752 sqare feet of home furnings the only "remark" I got was over...yes TWILIGHT.

    YOU GOT AN EDWARD LUNCHBOX????????!!!!!!!!! Hey Andy, SHE GOT A TWILIGHT LUNCHBOK!!!! OMG YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING A LUNCH BOX. BAHWAWWW.

    Then she make the mistake of entering my personal bathroom.

    Oh no rolls eyes to self.

    HAHHBAWHHH I can't believe you. Edward in the bathroom too!

    And so it goes...

    All in all really worth the ribbing. I hope she tells all her friends and they tell their mothers and all the mothers go uy Twilight and join us in our Twitarded lives.

    Love,
    Cindy

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  48. Oh Gawd, where to start? I was firmly in the closet until my obsession really got the best of me. Previously, I really looked down my snooty nose at those wierdos called Trekkies, and now I feel a special kinship towards them. My two teenage boys are totally mortified at my behavior, so they keep my obsession in the closet for me. My 10 year-old daughter is another story entirely. She uses every opportunity available to bring up Edward (thankfully doesn't associate said obsession with Robert) in public, to anyone who listens. My mom this, my mom that, you get the picture. But the cherry on top is when she announces that I've named my new fancy sewing machines Edward and Bella. Edward is the big, high tech model with all the bells and whistles, and yes, there is a photo of Edward (by the Volvo just before he saves Bella)lovingly glued to the front. Bella is my small, only in emergency, machine. There is picture of her too, but it's shirtless E kissing B, with those beautiful biceps a-bulging. Oops, I lost my thought again, those arms! Anyway, my daughter is constantly outing me with this sewing machine trivia. Aarrgh!!!

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  49. Deep down in my heart, I just knew I wasn't alone! Thank you all for sharing your own embarrassing family "outings." I love JJ & STY & all you Twitards for allowing me to feel normal. :)

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  50. I only live with my 7-year-old and she's not always patient. When I wasn't paying her enough attention once, she grounded me from my Twilight dvd for one week. She also rolls her eyes when she sees a big black book in my hand and says "again?!" However she makes up for it at the grocery store by alerting me to all the magazines; "Mom, it's Edward!"

    Sadly, I can't talk too much in front of close friends and family or they look at me funny and worriedly. Even the friend who first bought me the damn book was a little aghast recently when I showed her my bookmarked sites that I visit daily **cough** hourly.

    What they don't realize is how much worse it's all going to get when New Moon comes out. And Remember Me. Then Eclipse. Life? What life?

    STY - Where is JJ? I live in Colo. Should I check the bars, monitor police reports, watch for Mini-E?

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  51. the first time i met my girlfriend, she said "first thing first, what do you think about this twilight stuff?" clearly she was anti twilight.. so i had to explain "the movie was terribul,the books are not written all that great, the plot is just barely beliveabul...on that note. , the back of my bathroom door is COVERD in twilight posters and mag. cippings. and i have seen the movie 17 times now" she sighed and started to sneek up behind me and say "sparkle hiss" (her impression of the twi-vamps) how dose she torture me? she bought me a FSE and stuck it in my car. i came out to drive to school. and there he was driveing my car. my neighbor was stareing at it very confused and i just about died. my mother is in on the gig. she points out to anyone and everyone that i am twi-obsessed. and have a pic of 'that twilight vamp guy' as a wallpaper on my cellphone. so i get the 'arnt you alittle old for that' look OFTEN.

    sorry for poor spelling
    ~TORY

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  52. My family has been fairly supportive of my obsession. Although, it wasn't always that way. When I first read the books(in one week), my husband was more than a little freaked out by my behavior. He was like, "Oh, thank God, you finished those books, now things can go back to normal!" Ha! famous last words! After I (secretly) went out and bought the movie, I finally got him to watch it with me. That's when things started to change. He hated it, of course, but it gave him the fuel he needed for the next phase of torture to begin. I am now greeted with "Edward the Emo Vampire" quotes almost daily. Done in his ver best Keaneu Reeves voice, with a little Napoleon Dynamite, thrown in for good measure. If there is one thing my husband understands, it's this, if he can't get me with charm, diplaying utter dorkiness will win every time. His confidence was a little swayed, however, when we watched the the MTV movie awards (he actually watched it with me). It happend as Rob began his acceptance speech for whatever award it was, my husband turned to me and said, "Oh, he's british too? So there's no hope for me then."

    He's even taken to buying me little gifts to mortify me. Granted, I think he is actually thinking he is being sweet by doing this, not to mention, 'reaping the benifits' as the twilight widower used to say. He doesn't understand how hard I try to keep myself in the closet, door firmly closed. Just a few weeks ago he bought me a key chain. And patch, which for some reason he thought I should defile my leather jacket with. He even had them wrapped and presented it to me while we were walking around the mall. I called him an unkind name, one that our children probably shouldn't have heard said about their father. I think I hurt his feelings. The key chain is now in my purse. The good thing is, I never loose my keys now, since I always make sure to return (read hide) them as soon as I am done with them.

    Yesterday, I was making dinner, and he was going on and on about some non-twilight thing that was important to him. I wasn't really paying attention. Then he says, "I guess I'm like a child, I love shinny new toys", he smiled, and waited for me to respond. Bastard! Baiting the trap like that! He's done his homework. He's so getting some tonight.

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  53. The kids don't torment me (they are acutally kind of Twitards themselves), but my husband (Scottward) does. He quotes the movie (and the books cause he has read them all) and tries to re-enact the scenes just to mock me:( It's gotten a bit better though, but I think it's only because he is starting to take a liking to Ashley Greene. I think he is in the closet about it and that is why he makes fun of me. Makes him feel better.

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  54. I don't hide a thing. On casual Friday's I will gladly wear my Team Edward or Forks High School shirt (one clueless individual actually asked if I graduated from there?? Hell yes is what I told her, because in my mind I AM Bella dammit!) My cube is all things Rob/Edward (I do have a smurf thrown in for good juvenile measure, and who can live w/o some small token of hoops & yoyo??) However, there are draw backs. My husband has the upper hand when he says darkly "I won't let you call me Edward tonight" (that bastard). My girls (12 & the ever evil age of 14) tell me I can't talk to them about being responsible because for the last week I haven't cooked dinner because I'm reading the series AGAIN for the millionth time. And of course there is the whole creepy factor that I would gladly beat either one of them to get to underage Jacob.... of all the things my kids could learn from me, pervy wasn't one that I was going for.

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  55. This is so great, thank you all for your great stories, so I know I'm not alone! I never felt so passionate about books/movies and an actor!!! I'm so in love that I stare at the computerscreen all day so I can see his face (and sexy smile), my mother called me the other day to say: I'm so worried over you, what is wrong? And I didn't had the courage to tell her the truth, so I said: little bit tired lately (and that wasn't a lie, I can't stop thinking about *him*). What is this, are we hypnotized???

    A 37 year old woman, with 2 kids living in the Netherlands, Europe.

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  56. I don't know if anyone read my post about Mr. Moxie's reaction to me purchasing FSE. It pretty much sums it up. If you're not interested in reading it, well, lets just say Mr. Moxie is less than supportive.

    http://twilightsagapalooza.blogspot.com/2009/08/moxie-discovers-photobucket_24.html

    I've had to tone down my obsession around him.

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  57. My boyfriend allows me ONE Twilight comment per day to him. That's my allotment. If I bring it up again, he cuts me off with a hand to the face (in a cute way).

    My brother says "You are nuts", so I don't talk to him about it.

    My parents understand (because they don't have to hear about it all the time) and have actually started sending me articles, etc.

    My friends are split. Some are like me (obsessed), some think I am nuts (I NEVER talk about it with them), and some think it's funny/cute, which is safe territory for me.

    @rosenfie

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  58. My obsession began after a grueling day of working in hot ass south TX...stuck in my hotel room with nada to do, I causally flipped through the movies available to rent. I happened to spot Twilight and decided "What the hell!" Yeah..and I've been submersed in a black hole since! My husband growls everytime he sees one of the books in my hand.. The best is when I begin reading our beloved TWITARDED blog and end up laughing loudly and he glares at me like I'm 5 and have done something wrong...Could my husband be jealous of the time I spend each day waiting for updates of Twilight info/photos/random sexy Rob shit? Surely not! ;)

    Of course, my obsession could not be hidden from my bestie/co-worker for very long..after many jabs at my choice of reading material, my bestie finally decided to read the book...mmmm huh. Yeah..she's now almost but not quite as obsessed as myself. Well, needless to say, the hobag outs me at the last NY show we had for work! I came into our showroom and overheard the words, "Oh! You should talk to Ashley! She's sooo obsessed with all of it! She can tell you anything..." and this is when I turned around and walked back out of the room! She outted me to our co-workers who were definitely not impressed. But for the record the main gal she was saying this to did name one of our Spring 2010 shoes "Twilight"...really?! WTF?! She's a Twihard in the closet, she knows it and I know it! The icing on that cake is that the shoe she donned as "Twilight" is FUGLY! And is not being made..stupid-face.

    Wow, I feel somewhat better now! ;)

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  59. my husband is in denial. and im ok with that. i just get the occasional eye roll.

    the volunteers i work with, know to come to me for all their twilight info. they are all teenagers. makes me feel like the crazy old lady with cats, a lil bit.

    i have 3 real life twilighty friends and again i am their twicrack dealer.

    the end.
    xoxox
    cp

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  60. My fiance is more than tolerant with my my twilight obsession. He even indulges me more often than he probably should. He thinks it a bit odd that i'm acting like a silly teenage girl but he also think it's kinda cute in that pat-you-on-the-head-and-smile-cause-he-hopes-i'm-not-losing-it-kinda way. He bought me some buttons and some twilight trading cards and i'm sure i'll get more stuff for Christmas. He only gave me a moderate amount of crap when i had him hang my New Moon poster in our computer room. Then, to top it off, he was wearing some shorts the other day while we were painting said computer room (they were some cheesey valentines day shots with shiny hearts) and he looks down at his hand and gasps and calls me over. I thought he was bleeding or something and he goes "look! i'm turning into a vampire!" and i look down and his hands and arms were COVERED in a light shimmer! LOL it was front the shorts! and he would never admit it but he liked the movie too... lol he said he would go see new moon with me but he'd tell everyone i made him go.

    other than that... my mom and my best friend are twitarded too (and it's all my fault.. i made them read the books... well i made them read the first one and they were hooked after that).

    my step sister thinks i'm being stupid (i haven't gotten her to read them yet but i'm wearing her down!) and a few office people that know about my obsession tease me but other than that. I do hate getting weird looks from people at stores (taget, B&N, borders, hot topic, etc) when i buy twilight/rob related stuff though. The people at target are the worst. I've bought trading cards there a few times and they always say "they have trading cards for this now too?!" in a loud condescending tone. ugh!

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  61. I don't hide my Twitardedness. It's now just a part of who I am! :)My husband is amazingly supportive. (read: LOVES the fanfic reading perks he now receives!) He doesn't say anything about my Vanity Fair Rob pics on our shared laptop wallpaper, or about my constant Twi-blog trolling, or my daily fic reading. My 5 yr old daughter points out Rob pics in the grocery store for me and asks for the "Twilight song" (Supermassive Black Hole) when we play the ipod. So my family is very supportive.
    My "friends" however, are NOT. The ones who have read the series/watched the movie make fun of me the most. Calling the books badly written, anti-feminist, etc. And the movie badly scripted, acted, directed - you name it. They don't understand my attraction to Rob either. (WTF???) Any facebook entry or comment Twi-related is immediately made fun of.
    My hubby thinks they're jealous that I've found a hobby I enjoy and of my now EXTREMELY satisfying re-kindled sex life. (you know how us girls talk, right?) Who knows. I honestly don't care! So glad I have my online Twi-friends who understand. (*MWAH!*)

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  62. Ok. How to begin.
    At first my family & friends just rolled their eyes whenever I talked twilight. But after 3 weeks they got concerned about the amount of mental effort I was putting in.

    I had some comfort in the friend who introduced me to the books. She said when I called her, in a frantic panic as to what was wrong with me, that she begged me to read the books because she wanted company close to home with her addiction since her other family and friends with the addiction lived far away.
    Then she helped my find all the wonderful things and fellow Twitards on the web.

    My husband has now given up and goes into a glazed over look, not paying attention mode whenever he hears the words, Twilight, Pattinson, Cullen, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn etc. etc. He is very tired of me saying "Guess what I found out that is really funny". He already knows it is always about Twilight.

    Any of my other friends or family that try to give me grief, I just say If you haven't read the books don't talk to me. After you read them then you may have a say. (I'm quite stubborn and frankly not ashamed of my obsession)

    For one because nothing in my 42 years of life ever affected me so profoundly. (I'm not sure if I should be concerned with that realization. Oh Well)

    Two There are millions of us out there, so how ridiculous is this obession when so many of us share it.

    Third I found the only ones that have anything negative to say usually haven't read the series.

    I can say that my obsession causes me to not put much effort in my job anymore since all I think about is twilight. I can't wait for breaks so I can check out the latest news on Twitter, Facebook, You Tube etc.

    I also really don't want to go out with family and friends to do things (Not twilight related)because I start thinking about how soon I will be getting home so I can watch twilight movie, or read one of the books again (Over 5 times now) or my new favorite past time is the twi-smut "The Office". (This I think is the only reason lately my husband isn't giving me to much grief) I pretty much jump him when reading the smut.

    The latest concern my family and friends that haven't read the books have is why I am so quiet. I have always talked non stop since I was 3 years old about anything and everything. But since they get annoyed when ever I bring up my Twilight thoughts I agreed to not talk about it with them. Hence since all I think about is twilight I have nothing to say to them.

    For some of them being quiet is a blessing from God because they can finally get a word in. Unfortanetly for them I usually don't hear anything they are saying since I only am interested in twilight related information. (I guess I am a little self absorbed. But just a little :).

    So even though My non-readers of family and friends may give me some grief, I just tune them out because I know I can count on you all out there to make me feel better.

    Thanks all my lovely Twitards.

    Barb

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  63. You all make me feel so much better! I am totally in the closet. Totally obsessed. Lonely in my Twilight world. I have tried to get my friends hooked and they don't get past New Moon...and they are not into Rob. Come on!!!!! My 7 yr old son is my only confidant. He loves Jacob because he was Sharkboy.

    My husband knows I crush on Rob. I had a dream the other night with Rob and the hubby. I hesitantly told him about it. He told me I am wacked....and then asked if he was taller then Rob.

    Luckily, I have your blog. My folder of RP pics. I have Latchkey Wife. Even though I don't know her personally....At least she lives in Maine like me.

    Thanx for writing such funny shit!

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  64. Yeah. I just learned to only talk to other fans about Twilight. I can talk to my sisters, they get it. I have one girlfriend who kinda gets it. But that's it. My husband just tends to look at me like I need psychiatric treatment. My daughter is too little to give me any grief, so I guess I don't have it too bad! It was a bit embarassing though, being at Hot Topic perusing the Twilight gear, when this tween and her mom looked at me like I was some kind of freak. I felt so dirty! lol

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  65. For me, it started with my sister's books. I didn't get the thrill until I went online and found all of you . . . and the snark . .. oh, sweet Jesus the snark.

    Now it's like heroin. MUST . . .. HAVE . . .TWI-SNARK!

    It's breaking down other barriers. Like buying gear, watching tween shows, and putting up with crappy movies to watch trailers.

    @Jaima . . .I want to see those pictures!

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  66. well, i Think that since i called my husband an insensitive pig , for my listening to me talk about Twilight, he kinda accepted Edward/Rob in our lives...
    My mom?! sheesh...shes another story. The only thing she can say is ..."There are other books, out there!"

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  67. Thank god for Twitards!

    I feel rather alone in this whole Twilight/Robward thing, as I'm quite sure I am WAY TOO OLD to be this obessessed. I blame my 15 year old, who while at first thought bonding with Mom over all things Twilight was fun ... then somewhere decided my continual search for any and all Twilight/Rob news/pics blah blah just a wee bit creepy. WTF??

    I wouldn't dare tell my co-workers about any of this, as once again, I'm sure there's a law somehere that says old ladies just cannot be this obsessed with fictional vampires and lust over a certain f__khawt 23 year old who shall remain nameless but could easily be my son ...

    Sigh ... how the hell did a stinkin movie about vampires start me on a 4 book journey that now has me stalking for Twi-news and pictures of above-mentioned 23 year old (daily fix required).

    So I guess I'd say the family (daughter) got me started, then abandoned me when I went off the deep end.

    That's why you find me lurking here. I gotta have somewhere to go.

    the end.

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  68. WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! Ok, I'm a little late to the party here, I only discovered Twitarded a few days ago, I loved your Blog up to now but now I've read this one I truly know I have found my spiritual home :o).
    I'm 32 and married with three boys. My husband is at the end of his tether with me and my Twilight/Rob obsession. His objections have been pretty low-key up to now, general moaning about my desktop pics and phone wallpaper, the fact the books are always around,the posters I've started putting up all over the house. It stepped up a notch when our 5yr old started refusing to go to the downstairs toilet because he was scared of the Edward poster on the back of the door, hubby took that badly.

    On the whole the kids have been quite good about it, the 5yr old has drawn me a pic of Rob that I have up in the kitchen. He also asked if Edward would be my boyfriend for long - before saying that he thought he already had a girlfriend and pointing to Bella on the poster *tsk*.

    My 4yr old is better, I was flicking through some posters in a shop the other day and he shouted 'Mummy, there's Rob!' as I passed a Twilight one. As for my two year old, well he still doesn't really say Daddy, he does however recognise 'Bob' in pictures (we practice several times a day to make sure).

    A particular low point came the other night whilst I was out with friends. I came home to discover that hubby had defaced my brand new Rob Annual *sob* (have to admit, I'm not sure this was aimed at the 30+ age group given the wordsearch and recipe for rose water perfume :oS). It has been a tough week for him though, he had to indulge in some heavy duty eye rolling when I revealed my new Edward umbrella.

    Right, he's hovering demanding use of the 'puter so I'll have to be off, wonder if he'll take comfort in knowing he's not the only one being tortured out there? :oP

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  69. Can I just say something OUTLOUD for once cuz it's killing me not to? O. M. effin G... Listening to that man sing (to me) evokes the same response as ogling the Mark( U SuK) Segal photos! What IS that about?! I can't explain it.

    Even though I already had the CD, I bought the Itunes version when I found out it included the bonus track, {{sigh}} "Let me Sign"

    my Twi-daughter loves it too, but I reign myself in because I honestly think I'm close to having gone over the edge in her eyes. Especially because she's team Taylor so doesn't share in the Robsession. Whenever I talk about him, I'm
    careful to call him "Edward".

    My non-Twi-daughter with the permanent eyeroll gave me the "look" when I tried to play the song in the car. "Oh mom, he is NOT good" she says with all the sympathy and wisdom of a teenager who knows the absolute truth about everything.

    Whew. Good to get that off my chest-thanks!

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  70. Well...my husband def. thinks I need serious help but indulges me probably more than he should. When I first read the books he would beg me not to read b/c I wasn't paying any attention to him (no seriously), needless to say I didn' eat, sleep, or clean much for about a week. We basically starved!

    I made him watch the movie, which he liked, but by the third time he was like.."are you serious?".

    I joined twitter just so I could keep up with all the RPattz info and well when I get home from work he's like..."what twilight crap are you reading now?"

    I tried to get him to read the books..no go...to listen to the books on tape...no go (I know it was stupid, I thought if he could just read them then he wouldn't think I was so frakin crazy). He also has caught me reading fanfic of the rated R kind and thinks it's getting a little creppy...He says " I don't understand why women love that shyt so much"....why do men love porn movies so much ??? Huh?

    At least he supported me buying a keyboard and trying to teach my self the piano (Bella's lullaby)...there was no sense in hidding the reason...he already knew!

    By the way he's totally sick of the twilight soundtrack (he he :)

    I haven't broken down and pasted any pictures of Rob on my background b/c ...he hears so much about Rob...he really has been great and I think that would be the end of the line...although maybe ordering the glittering peen would be :)

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  71. Out of the Twi-closet but I don't start conversations with it. Have only mentioned Rob briefly to carefully Twi-tested people - women over 25 who admit to being fans. If my sister knew how much time I spent reading Twilight/Rob blogs, my life would become a living hell. She'd still be harassing me whenever she came to visit me in whatever nursing home I end up in someday. Worse yet, she'd rat me out to my (teenage) nieces and their friends at church. No thanks! Luckily my family is used to me reading books over and over and thinks it's just a nerd thing, not a hot guy thing. Safe for now!

    PS verification word is "midex" - hahahahahahaha! Is that a special box made by Kotex with Midol in it? Or is it Midol with free tampons? I kill me.

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  72. Haha... it's like a giant AA meeting. Except no one here wants to get dry, clean or cured. Bring on the Twi/Rob-drugs!

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  73. @suzspetals-you got that right!! We embrace the dirrty, wet, addictivness of it all around here. :D

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  74. Oh,oh. My Twitarded apron just arrived in the mail today!! SQUEE! I'm going to have some explaining to do while cooking dinner tonight. Either that, or my family is finally going to call those guys with the white coats...

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  75. Hmm, I guess I'm pretty lucky with my family, (my sister frequently makes remarks about Rob that would make any hooker blush, and my parents are completely oblivious to Twilight, and therefore my Twitardedness) and I'm not ashamed to show my love for Twilight in public. Okay, so I'm not exactly out-and-proud, but I am going Mini-Edward shopping next week, if anywhere in stupid Dublin sells him.

    My bff is not a Twitard, it's just totally not her scene. I've been trying to get my sis to read it, and luckily she liked the film so I do have someone to vent my Twitardiness to, even if she isn't quite one herself (yet...)

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  76. My daughter calls it TWI-lemia like its a terminal disease. Don't want a cure.

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  77. My husband has perfected the sarcastic "Ooh, here we go!" when I start my nightly perusal of Twilight websites ( I save Twitarded for last, like dessert! ). Somehow my 8 year old son knows how to do a perfect eye roll when Twilight is mentioned, too. It must be genetic. Thank goodness they love me or they might be sending me to counseling!

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  78. When I started my Twiobsession, my husband knew I was reading them & how much I liked them but neither of us knew it would go this far or get this crazy. Almost a year later now I have Rob & TW all over my computer. And I have 2 Rob posters in my closet. I'm not brave enough to wear my TW shirts in public(the 1st one my husband got me). It's gotten to the point where my husband says, "your reading them again?" And I say, "so, I like them." I get really defensive. Yes, my friends tease me as well as my husband, calling Edward the "gay sparkly boy". All I have to do is say to my husband, "come here my sparkly man" and he shuts right up. I've learned to accept the teasing because I really don't know why I've become an obsessed 36 yr old that can't get enough Rob & TW. It's woken something in me. And I've made some awesome connections w/other TWMoms my age(some in hiding & a few have joined me & came out).

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  79. I forgot to mention the time my husband was annoying me and the kids, my 4yr old announced "Let's get a new Daddy....and let's call him Edward!" Gotta love brainwashing the kids ;o)

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  80. So where to begin?? I am an out of closet type, leaving me like a deer during hunting season!! I don't effen care!

    My husband of 20 years is my real life edward although he will NEVER admit it. He insists on poking fun of me any chance he gets, thinking I will stop talking about twi-related things. His favorite way of tormenting me is in the nicknames he comes up with for Edward...Squidward, Count Chocula, Eddie Munster are just a few!

    The wallpaper on my laptop is, of course, Edward (or some incantation of Rob), as is my screensaver. My Iphone is loaded with pics as well.

    I watch Twilight on my day off from work as long as my hubby is working. As soon as I am finished reading BD, I want to pick up Twilight again (and usually do)!

    I never was into porn...until twi-porn came along. This is one thing I will NEVER divulge to my hubby! He just gets to reap the benefits! *smile*

    My boss, is just as twitarded as me...actually she IS the reason I am twitarded. It makes for a great stress reliever in the break room, when all others are engaged in their "normal albeit boring" conversations, while we are on the verge of tears or so busy squeee-ing!

    She is also my partner in crime when we need to make a purchase...(she bought it or I bought it when accused by our prospective spouses). We have a solid plan in place for november 20! AND we both can't wait!

    Now we are both working on getting my BFF (and co-worker) to read the saga, so we can be a twitarded tripod!!

    Thanks so much for this site, I always check it at least twice daily!!

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  81. I too am out of the closet. My husband has been jealous of my time spent reading about/looking at/squeeing over Edward although now that twiporn has been discovered he's a much happier man. He told me that he tried to buy me the Edward magazine for our anniversary but couldn't find it (Sexy STars of Twilight) then asked if I wanted him to wear a mask after he saw the OPattz pics.

    My 5 year old told me this week he'd "had enough of Edward" (this after I got his hair cut to look like Edward but I don't let it get dirty enough to look authentic). He always points out the mags at the supermarket. And even informed me the other day as we were driving that a guy in another car looked like Edward.
    My 3 year old has the soundtrack memorized. He can tell you the song and artist within the first 3 notes, Eyes on Fire is his favorite.
    My assistant at work even chimes in sometimes like when I got a papercut she said "good thing Jasper wasn't here"! Ha ha!

    Love you guys to death, you crack me up every day!

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  82. For me, those nearest and dearest, chose to do the most vile and unspeakable thing imaginable to me when I speak of all things Twilight: they downright IGNORE me! I want to spew my love verbally onto anyone and everyone who will listen. The only problem is I can't find any listeners! Twitarded is my only "home." It's the only place I feel normal anymore.

    My best cousin finally read them and now we squeal and faint Twilight on a daily basis together. She told me recently that she takes melatonin to help her sleeping problem and one night whilst on the 'tonin she had a very descriptive sex dream starring Rob. She even created an email address something about 'fuckingrobpattinson@...' Green with jealousy I hauled ass to the nearest CVS to pick up my own supply of melatonin. No sex dreams yet but in one dream I had of Rob he did ask me to please call him Randy...so I feel I'm well on my way. But I digress.

    Twitarded has provided me a home in which my family members a la Twilight do not ignore my need to verbal-diarhea the shit out of Twilight.

    Honestly, I think I almost would rather be ridiculed...at least then there would be some form of Twilight back and forth.

    Oh and my Best Cousin...her boyfriend's heart was broken by Jackson Rathbone's sister (true story!). So she is going through her own struggle at home as Best Cousin's boyfriend thinks every dollar she sinks into Twilight is going right into the bitch's pocket!

    Sigh...

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  83. Here is how my hubby deals with my obsession...he blogs about it...here...
    http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-wife-left-me.html

    and here (scroll down to #10)...
    http://floridachad.blogspot.com/2009/09/douches-wild_10.html

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  84. My 4-year old son (who just turned 4 a few weeks ago) picked out a Halloween book at the library. I was reading it to him before bed last night and there was a vampire on one page. My son says "Mommy, Edward is a vampire too right?" Needless to say I must talk about Edward alot! And I am not ashamed!

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  85. @tinaannb2001 - I checked out your husband's blog and he surely said something of great import. Unfortunately, as soon as that FUCKAWESOME picture popped onto my screen, all I heard was "blah blah blah......". Sorry!
    :D

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  86. My_After_Car_Is_An_XKRSeptember 13, 2009 at 9:18 PM

    a) My Mom and I (both married!) now co-crush on RPattz. b) A few weeks ago we had a half-hour discussion about whether his eyes are better golden in the movie (her vote) or his real color (my vote). c) When I was venting to her recently about various insecurities, she told me "honey, just like Edward said to Bella, you don't see yourself very clearly." d) When I checked Twitarded late Saturday night, I texted her to tell her to get to the computer ASAP to see the video - and despite the fact that she is normally asleep way earlier, I got a text back almost immediately with lots of !!!s. e) I now watch MTV awards shows. More amazingly, so does she. Finally, just last week, my dear mother sent me an email with the subject line "RPattz eye candy" and nothing more than a delicious Robward picture as the body.

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  87. I'm so far out of the Twi-closet. I've recently bought paraphenalia and have been parading it around school grounds. From my non-Twilight friends, I just get an "Oh my Gawd, Kori!" but from my Twilight friends I get smiles and thumbs up. Last night, during the VMAs, one of my Twi-friends burst into my room all squeels asking me if I was watching it, she having just seen the new trailer. I saw it today. I'm seriously not a fan of Kristen's Bella. That line when she was about to go to Italy to save Edward, "i have to go," had absolutely NO feeling to it AT ALL. Made me want to scream. Not the right choice for Bella. =[ Tarnishing the good Twilight name. ;.;

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  88. i never ment to come out of the closet with twilight, but when u have pictures of rob pattinson all over your house, carry a book called twilight around all the time, and have an edward cullen action figure in your purse, people tend to notice. everyday, wether its my friends, family, or co-workers, someone says something about how im crazy and that need some serious help. the worst part is i have no friends that r obsessed with twilight. they either think its ok but r getting sick of it (probably bcuz of me) or hate it with a burning passion. if it wasnt for u guys and all the other twi-blogs out there, i dont know wat i'd do. and dont even get me started with how much stuff ive bought. im extremely proud to say that last week i bought a twilight umbrella. i brought it to work with me, and every single person i saw rolled their eyes at me. i even got a few, "u've finally fuckin lost it"s. ive learned to deal with it though. im kinda proud of being a twitard now. yesterday, someone at my work who ive never met before said "hey twilight!" to me. i felt so special :P

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  89. My son is 7 years old and has autism. Granted, he has high-functioning autism, but he doesn't understand abstract ideas and takes everything literally.
    Tonight I let him go on my laptop. He says "mama it's New Moon! You like New Moon!", then lifts up his shirt. I look over and he has found a shirtless Robward image on google search =O
    LOL!

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  90. So where to begin?? I am an out of closet type, leaving me like a deer during hunting season!! I don't effen care!

    My husband of 20 years is my real life edward although he will NEVER admit it. He insists on poking fun of me any chance he gets, thinking I will stop talking about twi-related things. His favorite way of tormenting me is in the nicknames he comes up with for Edward...Squidward, Count Chocula, Eddie Munster are just a few!

    The wallpaper on my laptop is, of course, Edward (or some incantation of Rob), as is my screensaver. My Iphone is loaded with pics as well.

    I watch Twilight on my day off from work as long as my hubby is working. As soon as I am finished reading BD, I want to pick up Twilight again (and usually do)!

    I never was into porn...until twi-porn came along. This is one thing I will NEVER divulge to my hubby! He just gets to reap the benefits! *smile*

    My boss, is just as twitarded as me...actually she IS the reason I am twitarded. It makes for a great stress reliever in the break room, when all others are engaged in their "normal albeit boring" conversations, while we are on the verge of tears or so busy squeee-ing!

    She is also my partner in crime when we need to make a purchase...(she bought it or I bought it when accused by our prospective spouses). We have a solid plan in place for november 20! AND we both can't wait!

    Now we are both working on getting my BFF (and co-worker) to read the saga, so we can be a twitarded tripod!!

    Thanks so much for this site, I always check it at least twice daily!!

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  91. My family has been a trooper with my Twi/Rob obsession. I thought, by doing my own blog, and having a Twitter account, I would have a place to share my love, and in turn, share less w/ them. Definitely hasn't been the case. In fact, I've been sharing more than they would have ever wanted know. My two teenage daughters, who should be the ones who like Twilight, absolutely loathe anything related to it. They don't even think Rob is cute. (I know - the horror - how could they be related to me!) Even my sweet 9 year old has gone on their bandwagon. My hubby is a patient man, but he's at his breaking point. He hears about Twilight at the office now, as 4 of the ladies that sit near him are Twi-freaks. The only one that has remained utterly loyal to my Twi/Rob love is my 4 year old. She loves Twilight as much as I do - well, as much as a 4 year old can. She thinks Bella is beautiful, and Edward is handsome. She'll watch Twilight with me whenever I want. She even has a favorite song on the soundtrack - Full Moon. She requests it every time we get in the car.

    Okay, I totally digress...but my hubby is at his breaking point. He uses my Twi/Rob obsession to get back at me when we fight. He defaced one of my Oscar Rob pictures. I was trying to find it but my organizational system sucks.

    Anyway, thanks for a very entertaining post...so glad I'm not the only one out there!

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  92. i go to great lengths to hide my twitardedness.

    i only watch the electronic version of the movie, on my laptop, when i'm alone and locked in my room (which is much more frequent since i got twitarded). i hid the dvd. and the books. same place i hide some other...stuff. (which is convenient.)

    i 'private browse' when i'm reading fanfic and reading blogs. JUST in case someone else uses my computer and sees my history. twitarded is the only blog i have bookmarked. i use the blogroll to read other blogs.

    i try not to buy anything twi-related. i broke down and bought the new moon us weekly. i tried to be all stealth...i bought a vanity fair with it. i didnt really want the vanity fair. but i slipped the us weekly under it when i handed it to the cashier. fuck me if that cashier didn't start going ON AND ON about how ridiculous twitardiness is...really loud...TOTALLY embarrassing. he thought it was funny and that i thought it was funny that he was making fun of me. i didn't. i've been so traumatized i don't know whether i'll be able to buy one of the mags again. won't go near merch.

    i publicly denounce twilight anytime it comes up in conversation. sometimes even when it doesn't come up in conversation.

    i plan on going to the NM premiere incognito.

    sigh.

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  93. Oh my goodness i did pee my pants....this just sounds way to familiar!!! i caught my husband on my computer the other day after he was pretty much done and i go on to see my screensaver (which is a million pics of rob) defaced!!!! talk about photoshopped- theres pirate rob, getting it up the but rob, bleeding nipple rob, booger rob and so on! it was like he had been on the computer for hours defilling my pics!!!! and as for my five year old daughter...well she loves to tell everyone im a twi-mom. the other night while she was taking a shower she said to me "mom, so should you tell your husband that you have a twi-boyfriend?" also she decided to give me a pedicure and painted my toenails black and red, well after the paint dried she told me my toes looked like a vampire bit me and maybe i should show daddy my "twi-toes"....im so happy the other kids are to young to start giving me crap!!!!

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  94. YAY! i'm first! i think its a testament to how i need to get a life, but anyways...

    I live with my best friend who for all intents and purposes is my brother. He's an awesome guy and we get along on every level possible... with one MAJOR exception... as you can guess by now.

    Since Twilight and Robert Pattinson essentially took over my life a few months back i get NOTHING but grief... EVERY time I'm on the internet I get questions like "what crappy twilight shit are you reading now?" etc etc... I torture him with pictures of Rob on the desktop (since we share my laptop) but I give in to his love for Cam Gigandet and grace it with his beautiful bod every now and then...

    the BEST was when a fellow twitard and myself got together on one sunday to have brunch, mimosas and BOMBARD my roommate with twilight before he knew what was happening... OF COURSE being the dirty minded gay man he is, the movie was filled with comments from him like "is he at least gonna fist her?" and "where are all the gay vampires?"

    Needless to say, altho he tortures me, he was kind enough to buy my new moon ticket for me :) I claim its cause he loves me that much... he claims it's so he doesn't have to hear me whine every day :-P

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