There's been talk forever in the Twidom about the possibility of Robert Pattinson hosting Saturday Night Live. Petitions have been circulated (granted only 5,000 people signed it over the last year, but still), people have begged, and yet Lorne Michaels has yet to relent. Last year, I think it was just too late by the time it became abundantly clear what a hot commodity Robward had become to do anything about it. Fair enough. THIS year, however, it's not too late and I really really REALLY want it to happen. I think. Maybe.
Let me explain my trepidation...
There is potential for Robert Pattinson hosting SNL to be an amazingly good thing. There are people who I have been iffy on/disliked for no real reason who I came to love after seeing them on SNL. Justin Timberlake, I'm lookin' at you. I thought you were a total twat until the first time I saw you hosting SNL. Can you blame me? I'd caught snippets of you & Brit-Brit on whatever that train-wreck of a "reality" show you two did back in the day [belated note from STY - I stand corrected - it wasn't JT - I guess I blocked it out too well - thanks Abigail for the correction!] - it was so bad I've blocked it from my memory. But then you hosted SNL... And danced around on their holiday special in a huge Cup-O-Soup costume. And then... there was "Dick in a Box." Even before he took on "Single Ladies" [which just isn't available and I probably infected my computer with who knows what looking for it as I was inadvertently led to Russian gay-porn sites], there was Dick in a Box. I am CERTAIN that you've all seen this, but I can't help myself from reposting it here. I am certain that a number of aghast and/or lucky ladies have had their S/Os mimic this "gift" [ahem] in the years since. For better or for worse...
And here's the original won-me-over piece, "Cup O Soup" - and frankly, when a dude puts on white tights, Bozo-sized shoes, and a Cup-O-Soup costume and WORKS IT, well, what's not to love?
I'm also posting these videos for JJ, who has seriously had her head shoved up her own ass for the last...30 years. [even more so than since she discovered Twilight] because who. the. fuck. doesn't. watch. SNL??? Ever. My bloggy partner. That's who. Good think she's so cute.
Peyton Manning also won me over on SNL, big-time - I don't even know what team he plays for and I don't care, so don't go getting all crazy on me with your sports allegiances, OK? He's fucking funny and not afraid to push the envelope. The audio is iffy on this vid, but you can appreciate it anyway -
There is all sorts of potential for amazing sketches with RPatts. And we know that he can do funny. "How To Be" was pretty entertaining, and I didn't have the highest of expectations (sorry).
Robward can be funny. Mini-Edward can also be funny! [Thanks BarnesPEdward!]
Honestly, if RPatts spent 90 minutes on the stage of SNL and just stared directly into the camera making smoldering kissy faces, I would be ok with it. More than ok. Best. SNL. Ever. But since that's probably not going to happen, here are some things I'd like to see:
Robert Pattinson in "The Cougar Den" - [preferably with me in his lap, ahem] for obvious reasons [ahem]. It would appear that SNL (or their lawyers) are real bitches about having their clips posted on YouTube, so instead of a swell clip from their SNL's "Cougar Den," I present you with some chicks on YouTube who CALL themselves "The Cougar's Den" (ladies, we ARE your people here at Twitarded!!!) as they watch the NM trailer at the VMAs. LOVE that someone off-camera is manning the remote. And that they hold hands and are glued to the screen! Watching them watching the trailer for the first time totally gave me the chills all over again. In a good way!
Honestly, I am also totally down with there being a skit that rakes Twilight over the coals. Go for it - taunt The Precious. Poke it with a stick. 'Cause it'll be fucking funny and I can take a joke. I hope they have him running through the streets in his black Nikes, plaid shirt streaming out behind him, with a hoard of hormone-addled girls and their moms chasing after him. It should be like the running of the bulls, only with RPatts being chased... Um, or something like that...
Anyway, I say BRING IT! Let's do it [heh-heh]!
P.S. Letters to Rob's "Really!?! Robert Pattinson w/ UC & Moon" post expressed a similar level of..."I want this but only if it doesn't give people more ammunition to make fun of my Twilight obsession"-ness (and btw I don't know who does their graphics but I would love to