I know, I know - it's Friday, you've just survived another week, and you're ready to get your weekend groove on... NOT SO FAST! We're calling to order the first-ever Twitarded Operations meeting and we'll need your attention. Hold on, stay with me now! Unlike your uptight boss who could probably shit a diamond, his/her sphincter is so clenched, we don't care if you're sober at our meeting - hell, drinking is encouraged! It IS the weekend, after all, so go and pour yourself an adult beverage of your choice and c'mon back. We'll wait... Really... It won't be bad! Promise! This will be the most funnest ops meeting EVER and cursing will be encouraged rather than frowned upon, so you in the back pretending to be paying attention but really reading fanfic on your cellphone - stop giving us the stink-eye and settle down!
So humor us as we get a few things out there that are meant to inform and hopefully entertain along the way... We stay up at night worrying about random shit--c'mon, you already knew we were bat-shit crazy--and this might even help us to sleep better! Possibly you, too. Or at least we'll all be able to stress about other things... Like how we're going to lure RPatts into our basement and seduce him until he begs us not to stop... But I digress! Where was I? Oh yeah...
In no particular order...
We love getting email. You've read the bottom of the blog: We Crave Attention - Contact Us. And you did. We get emails from people telling us their Twilight stories. We get thankful emails from other Twitards who want to let us know how happy they are to have found a home (sometimes we feel like Kevin Costner in "Field of Dreams": we built the Twitarded field and waited...And you came - yay!). We get emial from people who have been inspired to start their own Twilight blogs. We get pictures and stories from our bloggy friends who we've never met in the flesh but whom we've told things about ourselves that we'd never reveal to our non-Twi real-life friends... And we try to reply to everyone. It might just be one of us, but since JJ and I essentially morphed into one inseparable unit many months ago, it's as if we both replied (trust me - I am not exaggerating; it's true and both of us replying would just be redundant).
Er, it also might take us a while to reply. It used to be right away [-ish]... Then it was a few days... And now it might be... longer. Please don't stop emailing us - we love your emails! But we wanted you to know we're not ignoring you if we don't reply right away or--even worse--if something gets lost in the shuffle and we don't reply at all. Didn't hear back from us??? Well then email us again and ask wtf is our problem and why haven't we responded for fuck's sake?! Really. Even if we don't reply right away, we read ALL of your emails and we get all giddy when we see that people are taking the time to contact us.
And just so you don't think we're sitting around in our jammies, forsaking you for fanfic while Mr. Snarky and ML hand-feed us cream-filled Twilight bon-bons, we get several hundred emails a month. And we love each and ever one of them. So keep em' coming and we will try to keep up, but we apologize if we drop the ball sometimes. It's a big ball.
Ummmm, we're amongst friends and we can speak freely, right? We suck at it. But we're trying! For those of you who languished in 'friend request' limbo for up to, oh, two weeks or so, don't take it personally. Honest. Facebook to us is about the same as someone coming up to you and saying "do you know where the bathroom is?" in Klingon. We just don't get it. Be that as it may, it is on our 'to do' list of shit we need to learn before the wine finally offs our remaining brain cells.
We LOVE our followers. We pay attention to our followers. Our egos are linked to the number of followers we have the way an imprinted werewolf is joined to his beloved. When you join us, we are thrilled!! When you leave, we are hurt but figure you have your reasons. Shit happens. But please, get yourself a bloggy pseudonym if need be and follow us. Don't know how to do that??? Want us to create a clever name for you??? Then email us and we'll try to help! But please see "email" section above... All you long-time "Anonymous" readers - we're lookin' at you!
Our adoration of comments is on par with our love of email and followers. Maybe slightly higher, if that's possible. When we don't get many comments, we assume whatever we wrote sucked ass and nobody loves us anymore. That said, comments are hard to keep up on. We want you to know that we read each and every comment you leave, even if you're been digging through our archives and comment on something we wrote months and months ago. Sadly, we have jobs that occasionally require us to not be on Blogger. We're sure you can relate. We love chiming in when we can! Have you ever heard of the term "Seagull Manager"? It's a manger who comes in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything, and then leaves. Well, sometimes we feel like seagull commenters: we have two free-ish moments at work, we dash to the blog, see what's doin', leave a quick comment, and then get back to the grind. We try to reply to individual comments when we can, but we rarely have all the time for this we'd like... That said, we LOVE when you all comment to each other and go back and forth!! So talk amongst yourselves and comment to your your heart's content! Please, keep those awesome conversations in the comments section going... We know it would be easier if this were a Wordpress blog where you could actually reply to individual comments, but we're stuck with Blogger for now 'cause we hear that making that leap it a total bitch.
Please welcome Jenny Jerkface, who would like to give the parting remarks... JJ, take it away!
Somewhere along the way there was a very dramatic shift from "the blog Twitarded is important to us" to "the readers of the blog Twitarded are important to us."
I know we've said it before but STY and I started this blog for each other. And then all of you came along and we realized just how fucking awesomer you guys are then us and suddenly Twitarded wasn't about us after all, it's about you. So please, if we don't respond or our comments blow monkey tits, we're sorry.
Oh, and by the way, we totally talk about all of you. In a good way.
STY - Did you read that comment that XXX wrote on XXX post?! The one about dog testicles???
JJ - Ha ha ha ha! Yes! I almost sharted when I read that one it was so funny. Our readers rock!
And when it really comes down to it, if we miss any emails or don't update our Facebook page for a month... It's all Robert Pattinson's fault. With a dash of fanfiction.