Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Robert Pattinson Magazine Mash-Up!

What?! I don't have a problem... Really!

I went to the grocery store after work yesterday just because the one near my office has a HUGE magazine selection. Sure, sure - I suppose I also needed something for dinner, but that was absolutely secondary: what I really wanted was the US Mag "Sexy Stars of Twilight" New Moon Edition. Bad. And in fact, I thought I DID buy it right then! I even took a pic and tried to tweet it saying "SCORE!!!" but Princeton is like the black hole of cell phone service because everyone who lives there has three cellphones but nobody wants a cell tower within eye-shot of their million-dollar mansion. But I digress... Anyway, I had previously chastised people for not buying the Twilight "Sexy Stars," but tonight I sat down to write this post with the intention of telling you how I felt: "Don't waste your money--I did, and I am majorly ticked!!! I spent 1/10 of a Bella dress for that piece of crap, and it totally wasn't worth it. I feel robbed (and not in the good way I'd use that phrase if I was Tweeting Jenny Jerkface after a rough and tumble night of unbridled debauchery with RPatts...). Ummm, but just now- literally - I ran out to Rite-Aid aaaaaaand I was faced with the harsh reality that I had bought the wrong fucking $10 magazine. Fuck me.

What I wanted...

The useless piece of junk that I wasted my money on instead.

I knew when I picked it up that it felt a little light on content, but I was in a rush and was still elated to have it in my greedy little mitts. Despite the fact that the picture on the cover was kinda pretty lame (which makes more sense now - but really - how did they take almost the same picture and make it look like his mom in drag? no offense to Mrs. RPatts, but really???) . I laid it in my cart face down in an effort so save face. No dice.

Better than the cover, but still has no place in my cart...

And as I started to skedaddle from the magazine section, I stopped in my tracks when I came face to face with the tweeny mag section. I may be partial to "my team," but I was a little surprised? creeped out? a touch of both? by the plethora of the teeny-bopper magazines featuring Robert Pattinson on the cover [read: all of them] alongside a lot of little kiddie stars that I don't recognize. He's inevitably the oldest dude in the group. I don't even know who Justin Bieber is, but I looked him up and he's only 15. When I was a tween, I don't think I had the hots for many people in their twenties. I'm gonna go ahead and totally date myself here: Matt Dillon was probably the oldest "older guy" I had the hots for (and he's not THAT much older than me, for the sake of full disclosure). It would appear that like the way women OUR age are making exceptions, the younger set are also stretching the rules a bit to lust after him do whatever it is that 10-year-olds do when they think of hot guys. Think about making out with him? Girls, if you want to borrow my Edward pillowcase to practice smooching, the answer is "no." Sorry. It's taken.

My mortifying moment: I spent fifteen minutes taking pictures of all of these tweener magazines... I think they were about to call the authorities on me.

Tiger Beat? STILL?! Is David Cassidy the centerfold this month??? No? Oh...

Back off, Megan Fox! You are SO wrong on a tweeny mag.

Did I mention that Wegmans is really well-lit? Nice glare, right??? Oh and yes, I AM psychic.

Yeah I want the board game! And YES my friends can depend on me!

I had almost broken free of my spell and moved on, but it wasn't to be...

I admit it: I bought this. [hangs head...]

...and it also didn't offer me a an inconspicuous back cover for my cart.

I saw the mag above and said "Hello! What do we have here?? An all-RPatts magazine? Oh I shouldn't..." And then I started flipping through it and realized that it was probably more useful than the US magazine (or at least the one that I THOUGHT was the US magazine) and there were a couple of pictures I actually wanted to use for the blog. If it's for the blog, well then, I HAVE to buy it, right? I swear that at times like this, I am acting as if I have some sort of expense account associated with the blog or it's a tax write-off if it's blog-related. Which of course isn't the case, but it helps me to rationalize anyway. Just don't tell Mr. Snarky that I spent thirty bucks on Twilight magazines tonight, OK? It'll be our little secret...

79 comments:

  1. I got you beat.

    I am both proud and ashamed at the same time.

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  2. @ And(Amcas) - I am both in awe and embarrassed for both of us - lol! This is tax-deductible, right??? I mean, my laptop is my Twilight blogger office and I spend more time doing this than I do working some days so that's gotta count for something, right??? Please???

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  3. Oh man STY, you got screwed! I'm so sorry you bought that crappy rip off New Moon mag. But I proudly bought the Twilight board game over the weekend at Marshall's for $10 SCORE!!!! I see drunk Twilight trivia all next summer! I know I'm probably late to the game (no pun intended, I think) but I didn't even know the thing existed until July.

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  4. I am so impressed with the extent of your devotion to anything Robert Pattinson! I wish I am free to do the same and just bask in everything Twilight related! I feel so envious!

    As usual, I laughed so hard after reading your entry tonight! Please don't ever stop blogging! Twitarded is the best site ever!!! :-)

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  5. buahahahaha *evil laugh*
    unlike you I *do* get to write off all my twi-obsession on my tax - it's research!

    however, in australia our selection of twimags is truly pitiful. we just have the awful 'Kristen's preggers' tabloids.

    when I was in LA I bought that Twi issue of Film Fantasy - did you see it, with the really bad fan art brown crayon drawing of Edward, Bella and Taycob? They all looked 40. Edward looked like Simon Le Bon gone wrong(er).

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  6. I went to B&N yesterday to pick up a couple more copies of the Precious II to send to some overseas pals and couldn't find it. I mean WTF? Mommy FC was just wandering around...what are you looking for FC? What do you mean what am I looking for? I need more copies of the Precious II! I actually went to the kiosk and asked the lady in the middle and she was totally clueless, but excited. And then Mommy FC came up brandishing the magazine like she had just won the lottery. And I was all like, I need another one...stat! Why do I always make such an ass of myself in B&N? And I almost purchased 4 more magazines, but when I looked at some of the prices, I decided against it...especially since they seemed pretty light on content and pics. I applaud you STY!

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  7. Snarky - it's okay. You're among friends no need to be embarrassed. But ya know - maybe we should fund some of your twitardedness. I vote for a paypal button to get you that magazine that you wanted to buy. I'll chip in - after all - I get HOURS of entertainment from you two. There should be some perks :)

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  8. You are too funny STY. The only mag that I've bought and I had to send my sister downtown to find it was the GQ mag because they suck ass here in Hawaii and don't fucking order magazines on time like a normal state. (Ok, sorry that was me lashing out) I commend you and your spending habits on all things Rob. Yes I approve it as a tax deductible businesss expense. :)

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  9. Thank you for showing us what's out there so we don't have to see them for ourselves! That last magazine may be worth embarrassing myself for - will be waiting to hear your professional opinion!

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  10. Instead of Donny Osmond, I liked Bobby Sherman and a few years later it was Paul Michael Glaser. So I'd like to think that if I was a tweener nowadays that my refined, mature tastes would be all about Robert. That's what I'd like to think. And I try NOT to think about the fact that David Cassidy is probably the centerfold of this month's AARP magazine.

    Remember, the blogosphere is virtual therefore your blog expenses are just as virtual (and vital.) We all, as the virtual board of directors of Twitarded, heartily approve of these expenditures. Until Mr. STY is voted in, he really has no say:-)

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  11. OK - got the US Mag and saw the RPattz one. Bought one but thought I was pushing my cougar luck if I bought the second! LOL!

    Wow....they still publish Tiger Beat! Cooool! (so remember David Cassidy - he was "MY" older dude!)

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  12. suszpetals - OMG! I thought I'd be the only one on here who would know who Bobby Sherman was! I think he was my first real tween crush - I loved those stupid little black chokers he used to wear. I think I made one, if I remember correctly.....

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  13. Abigail - yes, I did - but totally my fault - lol! And drunk Twilight trivia sounds like a delightful way to spend an evening... : )

    @CTB - don't worry - for better or for worse, you guys are stuck with us for a while!

    @Lisa - I didn't see that (I don't think) but sounds frightening! And if you get a tax deduction, maybe we can work something out, magazine-wise - lol!

    @Fire Crotch - "Precious II" - bwahahaha! and yes I am a tad shamed - if I had know they were ALL ten bucks a pop, I might have rethought it! Good thing today was payday!

    @Twiswearstoofuckingmuch - thanks for the mini-pep talk! And I don't think I could ask you guys to support my Twi habit - it ain't cheap! Plus I am amongst other addicts, sooo... And don't forget - I am going dress shopping tomorrow... Wish me luck!

    @Honolulu Girl - i need a creative accountant who understands my situation, that's all!

    @Robinn - it DOES have promise... I will tear through it as soon as I am totally alone! (no cat to pounce on it or Mr. Snarky to look at me funny... Or is that the other way around? anyway...)

    @suzpetals - ah, starsky & hutch - sigh! ok, maybe i liked some older guys! nothing wrong with a little creative license (or selective forgetting) for the sake of the blog! I never bought a starsky & hutch mag, though! but don't get me started on huggy bear - lol! and where do i submit my virtual expense report!!! : )

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  14. Hey I like those pretzel sticks too!! For a pretzel that's gluten free they're pretty good.

    Kate

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  15. @STY have you considered forming a 501(c)(3) non profit? I have seen stranger non profits that is for sure. I am sure JJ could write up a great business plan--ha!

    That is hilarious that you bought the wrong mag. I so wish I could catch another Twitard with a cartfull of mags like this in the grocery store--that would make my day. Wait, you just made my day...as usual. But hell, who cares, it is officially (on the east coast where you are) now your birthday month! Yay!

    Loved the Matt Dillon and David Cassidy references. I, myself, was a huge Shaun Cassidy fan. Did I mention my mom went to college with his mom? Yep, I know pretty cool.

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  16. I bought the *correct* NM mag today, STY! I almost told the checkout lady it was for my niece, but luckily she was zoning out (musta been thinking about her next break) and wasn't even paying attention.

    By rights I should buy a 2nd copy though, one to keep pristine and one, well, you know...

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  17. @Kate - I have to take these away from my gluten-eating friends - lol! they are almost too good and a lot more $ than a pound bag of regular pretzels, for sure!

    @vitaminR - i should look into that! of course i would go to jail for twilight-related tax evasion or something like that - hehe! And yes, that's pretty cool!

    @jukienne - i bought two copies last time but figured this time around I should make do with just one - thankfully! or who knows what my tab would have been today - not pretty, for sure!

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  18. I didn't buy it, but I did stand in WalMart for over 20 minutes looking at it. In fact, I was pulled away from wiping the drool off of my chin by hearing my name over the loudspeaker to come to the service desk. Apparently my 6 year old couldn't find me...I know, mom of the year, right?

    @ Abigail - I've had that stupid...er...wonderful game in my hands several times, but haven't bought it. My DH asked me the last time, who's gonna play it with you? So I didn't get it *sigh* Oh, and you did score! I've never seen it for less than $14!

    @ STY - my 9 yo has that first kiddie mag (Yikes!)

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  19. LOL You should see the mags at our place. I have to admit I bought the Up close Life Story Rob one as well.

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  20. I'm one that you gave shit to for not buying the first US Sexy Stars magazine, but I'll spare you. (Even doped up on Percocet I managed to buy the right magazine)

    XOXO :)

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  21. acK, the Glutenos are Way better than the regular pretz1es! We have GFCF boys & I've had to tell Myself to step away from the nums many times! (if they weren't so much more, we'd all eat GFCF!

    I didn't see the one about RPattz whole life story when I bought MY precious deux,I'll have to go back for it!

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  22. and, it would make my day to run across another adult lady with all that in her cart! (provided there's no tween in tow...)

    - veriword - seemingl... as in smeegul golem ... step away from the precious!

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  23. @ STY Re 'robbed', I have no idea how I never thought of it before but thanks for another word I'll never be able to think of the same again ;o)

    You lot are far too lucky, none of the magazines over herereally bother with him, I purposefully went and scanned the stands in Borders the other day in the hope that some obscure publication might have him on the cover. Nothing, although I did round a corner and stumble upon a Rob calendar so managed to get my fix that way. It's just as well actually because knowing the collecting glitch in my brain I'd be bankrupt in a month (but on the plus side I'd probably be a of stones lighter from having to visit every newsagent around because I was too embarrassed to buy them all in one place.
    I'm actually a little scared that it'll all pick up closer to 20th Nov.
    Having said all that, I do believe that today is the day that the AnOther Man mag (never heard of it, it must be a Borders obscure rack only one) is out over here. WOOOHOOOOOOO!

    @ TwiWeasel, I cracked up at you losing your daughter cos you were staring at Rob for so long!

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  24. @TO Twicat - I forgot about the choker! Jeez, I wonder why that little fad has never made a comeback? It's funny how I'm going in reverse now: then I was 12 crushing on a 30 yr. old; now I'm... well, you get the picture.

    @VitaminR - Bitch! Shaun and I made eye contact at a concert once (after reserving my seat in the 3rd row all day) but your story trumps mine.

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  25. Hello Snarky and JJ,
    Its ok to give in to the mags, I just bought my second GQ of Rob, I dunno. I just need to buy another one. The new one will never be opened for safekeeping, the older one will be for everyday use haha.
    Crazy OCD!

    -Shaui

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  26. You know your a Gluten Free Twitard when....
    You see Rob and a bag of Glutino Pretzel Sticks, next to each other and YUMMM applies to both!;)

    "The Vampire Next Door" - Sounds like the title of a Fan Fic. *Goes to FF.net and checks* It IS the title of a fic!!!

    Ok, so every time I'm at the story and in the check out line, I count how many mag. covers Robs on. What else is there do while I wait in line? Most so far I think the was 9.

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  27. Celiac Cutie, A member of the Saga Mafia at Twilight SagaPalooza, has just started her own blog dedicated to Gluten Free recipes and available foods. You might want to check it out.

    I know she'd appreciate any recipes anyone else has since she is now knocked up and has to really stick to the GF diet.

    http://celiaccutie.blogspot.com/

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  28. "My mortifying moment: I spent fifteen minutes taking pictures of all of these tweener magazines... I think they were about to call the authorities on me."

    Just about choked to death laughing at this one. Whenever I try I glance at the tween mag rack for Twi stuff I probably look like I'm about to steal something with all the glancing around I do to make sure no one spots me. So much shame.

    The honesty you ladies have with your addiction is truly inspiring.

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  29. @mmMoxie, thanks for the tip, I'll have to go check her out, I post all my gluten free recipes in my autism blog under my other login, it's always good to hear other GF recipes (we're also off milk and eggs so it keeps things interesting ;)

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  30. i.want.me.dat.rob.magazine.
    holycrapp!!! a whole magazine dedicated to him?!!! i want!!
    my sinful path along the magazine trail started innocently enough with my boss getting me my very 1st magazine copy with rob on the cover. now i have to get every single copy with him on the cover. ok no. i draw my line at the tweenies. anyways don't u guys think he doesn't look as nice in the tweenies covers?

    anyways since i'm somewhat of a closet twitard at home, I keep my stash in the office. and the 1st thing that came to mind the moment i got a new job was where am i gonna keep my shrine/stash of twilight magazines/merchandise??
    the new office pple r gonna think i'm nuts while the old office pple are already pretty much resigned to that fact.
    sigh..

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  31. Am I the only one who fucking hates that picture of RPattz where his nose looks all crooked and fucked up? What the hell is going on there??

    I almost made the same error the other day at the grocery store - there was a lame-o New Moon mag that I picked up greedily, but realized it wasn't the right one and quickly abandoned it!! Yikes!

    Matt Dillon was the shit when I was a teen - and I can't believe Tiger Beat is still around! I used to live for the pictures of my 80s heartthrobs in that rag!

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  32. WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! I'm back with a mighty fine stash of Robazines! I did scare myself slightly when I realised I was being a bit James-ish tracking through the stands (lifts nose, inhales, eyeballs assistant "You have Robazines", pounces). Ok, so I didn't go that far but I would have done if they'd stood in the way.

    Got the AnOther Man mag, my fave pics since the OPattz ones, and also GQStyle which has a collage type pic of Rob, young Marlon Brando & James Dean (I'll have me an invite to that party please!).

    And YAY, they had the Sexy Stars of Twilight one here too! How I wish we had more shops with such good stock so I didn't have to out myself buying it all in one place. Oh, I did resist Taycob on Teen Vogue ;o).

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  33. You're sooo lucky in US, I live in the Middle East, to get all these things available. I actually just got back from Borders to check their magazine rack looking for that Another Man mag..nope, its not there. Maybe Amazon can help. Lets not start with Twi-merch..I so envy you..

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  34. STY-
    Being a Twilight/RPatz fan is an "all consuming, 24 hour job, that I will never completely tell you about!!"...somewhat paraphrased from Tom Cruise, Jerry Maquire. LOL!! I love his place!!! Keep up the good work!!!

    "I spent 1/10 of a Bella dress"...love it!! Bella dress is the new currency.

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  35. Yay - GF Twitards (& spawn of GF Taitards) unite!

    I'll definitely chime in later with some of my fave GF (& dairy-free & egg-free treats/products) if anyone's interested and I will absolutely check out the other blogs mentioned - thanks!

    Off to work!

    : )

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  36. Mmmmmm...Matt Dillon. lol

    I'm glad to hear that the imposter magazine sucks. Everytime I pass by it in the store I think about buying it, but haven't yet. And I totally do the "flip it over and cover it with a bag of cat food/gluten free pretzels" thing too. Covert ops! :)

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  37. In Border's on Saturday buying the real NM magazine. Then decided to buy a so called friend, her first Twilight book, (hence the so called friend part), for her birthday as she refuses to read it. Get to check-out and on speaking with the saleslady, cough, "Could you gift wrap the Twilight book please?" Certainly, not a problem. Returns with gift wrapped book and then suddenly says, "Oh sorry, did you want me to gift wrap the magazine as well?"
    I got all flustered and made her gift wrap my NM magazine for me.....until daughter pipes up from somewhere beneath the desk, "I thought the magazine was for you?" Totally busted.

    x

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  38. I bought the New Moon Mag at Micheal's they had it UP FRONT next to the registars. I just to keep the ladies from shop lifting them. I dont get the "tweeny" ones. I do look at the articles in the store and its just a recycle of a comment from last year.( the fact that I know that - *hangs head in shame*)

    Found your site recently and in one of my favorites. Makes me laugh everytime out loud.

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  39. My mom bought my daughter the Rob Pattinson Mag last week. She is such a nice grandma. Well...my daughter has yet to receive it.

    It IS MINE!!! ALL MINE!!! hehehe

    Purely research of course..

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  40. Hmmm I think it's time for another run to the magazine shop and see what I can find. Gotta keep that twilight collection up...
    When I bought the sexy stars of twilight mag I did the same flip over to the back to try and hide it, no such luck it had a fugly drawing of Kristen, Rob, & Taylor. I thought that Kristen looked like Princess Leia and Rob looked like Elvis...

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  41. I have successfully kept myself from buying any mags. I want, but can't have! The family has no idea about the level of my obsession, and I'm trying to keep it that way. It was bad enough when my daughter discovered my copy of "Twilight: The Complete Illustrated Movie Companion" which I had stashed in the deepest bowels of my bookshelf located in the headboard behind 4 king-sized pillows and 2 throw pillows, right next to the heroin, crack, vodka, and chocolate (kidding, but not about the chocolate). So, I have to stay strong and will continue to roam the internets for all those lovely outtakes.

    @VitaminR - Sean Cassidy was my dude too, but how can you forget about that dreamy Leif Garrett with his beautiful Farrah Fawcett hair and those tight satin waist-high bellbottoms? Have you seen him lately? He's now wearing a motorcyle bandanna ala Brett Michaels in order to cover the fact that he either has no hair, or his plug job has gone horrible awry.

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  42. My drive into work is 40 minutes on a good day. I start work at 5:30 am. How bad is my Robsession? Now I get up even earlier just to squeeze in a few minutes at Wal-Mart on my way into the office so that I can stalk the magazines while the place is relatively empty. I'm on a first-name basis with Ray, the volunteer, for crying out loud!

    I'm also going to go broke ordering back issues of magazines I've convinced myself I have to have off of eBay (VMAN, GQ, and In Style just to name a few) and pre-ordering merch at Amazon (can't wait for the Twilight Edition of Scene It). Sure hope they understand why my son's college tuition payment is going to be late this semester.

    Lisa

    P.S.: I mistakenly bought the Beckett magazine, too, and didn't realize how bad the photoshop job done to Rob's pic was until I got to work. Love the glossy back cover photo of the first kiss, though.

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  43. Boy did you get the short end, and not in a good way.
    I can't find it anywhere here in Delaware either.

    Re: keepin it on the dl from mr snarkey -
    This reminds me of my friend, a 30ish stay at home mom, who bought the $10 Sexy Stars of Twilight mag. I rush over after work to oggle the goods when she shrieks in horror from the basement. It had been through the washer. How? Oh, the mag was stashed in the laundry basket so the hubby wouldn't find it. ACK!

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  44. Okay girls I don't know where this post topic goes so I guess this is as good as anywhere.

    I JUST HAD MY FIRST JACOB SEX DREAM.

    I've been team Edward since May 2009 when I read Twilight.

    This changes things.

    OH MY JACOB! He was warm caring explosive. I don't know how my unconscience mind has done this but it has.

    Okay so WE (some select group of about 100 fans had won a day with the Twilight cast. It was the perfect fall day beautiful, crisp, blue, windy.

    The location was an outdoor park, totally closed to the public except for our group.

    First we played some crazy tag football game. (Shouldn't this have been baseball?) Any way we were having so much fun and no one was enjoying the day more than our beloved Twilight cast. We were all as one...

    However at the beginning everyone was totally focused on Robsten. What are they doing, they are playing foot ball okay I'm watching that. And just fyi in the dream it was totally open that they were a couple, were going to be a couple and everyone was very relaxed in that. No tension what if what ifs.

    Then somehow I met Taylor. This is wierd too, but i wasn't my "real age" self and I wasn't my teenage self. It was more of the real me and the real
    Taylor.

    So things went along and he promised that he would meet me later in private. I looked forward to that all day.

    When we finally saw each other it was explosive. He was so generous andd GIFTED. And girls trust me I've had my share of Robward dreams.

    I don't know if the comparsion has any basis whatsoever in real life...but let me say that if I were Bella or Kristen I would give some serious consideration to Jacob or Taylor because the boy is talented.

    He kept his eyes open and connected to my eyes during the cummulative moment! Ever, have you ever???

    Think about TAYCOB girls...

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  45. i h-v`e one of thos elarge plastic bins filled with ALL of my "twilight" "edward" mags. for a few weeks while New Moon was filming EVERY weekly gossip rag was dedicated to rpattz & kstew & the cast..of course i subscribe to 3 of them & bought the rest. including a few of the little teeny bopper ones & specialty ones..i hung 2 posters from sexiest twilight stars by us weekly on my bedroom wall..i am 33 btw :)
    i am going to get sexiest starts of new moon tonight & see what ok weekly/star weekly has on their covers about my boy edward this week for me to buy..
    b&n has a crap load of twilight gear. i have a twilight perfume, twilight umbrella, key chain, etc.
    i make stuff too. i made a twilight mouse pad & am making a twilight pillow case next!
    computers & certain cool craft programs rock!
    i can turn any pic into a high quality iron on transfer!
    i made my awesum new moon t (for movie weekend)
    i am dressing up as jane volturi for new moon weekend, red eyes & all! i am stoked!
    what is "taycob
    mean?

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  46. @CINDY: i have had all kinds of odd vampire dreams! i had one where i was in a small airport like place & a stranger (that i knew was a vamp) was watching me closely & he had jasper with him so i was not scared & did not run even thought i knew he was a vamp (they both had red eyes)
    & i spoke to him in depth about my life & asked to be made a vamp & jasper was there to put the emotional voodoo on me..
    i have had dreams of running in the woods with edward, hangin with bella, etc.
    they were all the same me begging to be made a vamp.

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  47. Girls here is our list of lust from waaayyyyy back in the day...
    1. Shaun Cassidy
    2. Donny Osmond
    3. Bobby Sherman
    4. Leif Garret
    5. Any Bay City Roller

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  48. I am so fucking jealous of you fuckers in the US! I can't get any of these mags except the shitty tween ones I didn't buy when I was a tween, and I'm sure as hell not going to start buying now. Since Mommy and Daddy Banshee are in New Jersey right now, I thought about asking them to bring one of the hot ones back, but they already think I'm nuts and I don't need to add fuel to the fire.

    Oh, and I was at the movies yesterday, where they have a 'Threesome' New Moon poster up, and all I could think (after 'I really want to shag RPattz,' of course) was 'You're doing it wrong.' People were looking at me funny for alternately drooling and giggling uncontrollably. Thanks a lot JJ!

    @STY: Good luck with the dress hunt! I'm crossing my fingers that it's not all lame and Halloween costumey.

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  49. hahahahaha you are so brave, I do think that perhaps the publishers shoudl furnish a discreet paper bag for the Twilight magazines like they do with real porn...not like I know how they make porn discreet...but seriously..I laughed...out loud...when I saw your cart picture!

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  50. @Latchkey Wife - it's true - even Rob can take a bad pic (or have a photoshop disaster, more likely)!

    @Stan - "I realised I was being a bit James-ish tracking through the stands (lifts nose, inhales, eyeballs assistant "You have Robazines", pounces)" - hahahaha!! cracking up here...

    @anon - i used to have "Hardy Boys" bell-bottoms. and i still remember Robin Zander's name, which I suppose says something... I saw Leif Garret and his shitty band play my local dive bar (where Mr. Snarky plays!) a few years back. Let's just say he hasn't help up well... : )

    @Cindy - holy crap!!! lol!!! i am not sure how i would feel about a Taycob dream - he is just waaaay too young for me. but wtf it's not technically statutory rape if it's a dream i suppose - heh-heh! I've only had the one rob dream and i am happy with it even though i totally dorked out the way i would in RL. : )

    @all you folks on the fence - go forth and get some Rob mags - it's gonna be a looong 49 days [er, give or take a few, depending on where you are...]. but SQUEEEE!!! only 49 days!!!

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  51. First, anyone could walk into my office any second now. *nervously typing fast* And the IT people might find my browser history here. I'd be ruined professionaly if anyone knew how Twitarded I am.

    Second, my V/W = driest. As in I'm feeling driest (the antonym of moistest) since I can't see new pictures of Rob everyday, a la Remember Me New York days. I'm jonesing so bad; I keep staring at the latest one where his two fingers are at the neck of his shirt. I'm totally normal for thinking his fingers are elsewhere . . . *ahem*

    Third, hubby brings kids little toys from various cities after his business trips. He always brings me back a Rob rag-mag. No "mother-load" $10 Sexy Stars magazine yet.

    I've threatened to close shop permanantly if he doesn't bring that one back the next time he returns from his next biz trip.

    (Yeah, I make my hubby do my dirty work. What of it?)

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  52. STY - don't feel shame, I bought a Spartan's basketball warm up jacket off ebay simply because it's from Forks high school. And some twilight lighters, bookmark, pillow case, comic con cards, Japanese Twilight movie poster, twilight purse, pencil case..... And stayed the night in the Twilight themed room in Forks with my bff. If that isn't enough to make you feel better, I too have long past the teeny-bopper phase of my life.

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  53. Rob-in-print alert: Check out the video featuring pictures from the New Moon movie companion book at robsessed or twicrack! (Or not, if you're avoiding the 'tip' - there are a ton of new shots)
    This can be pre-ordered on Amazon which means no embarrassing looks from the grocery store clerk or closet-outing offspring. Okay, I've done my civic duty for the day and I'm back to work:-)

    - suzspetals
    (blogger or wordpress isn't working so I'm semi-anonymous I guess!)

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  54. I'm probably the only one who finds my RPattz obsession weird because he's 3 years younger than me. First time I've ever crushed on "younger" man. I think my first celebrity crush was Chris Isaak when I was 12 (he would have been late 30s at the time), so I don't think the tweens crushing on Rob are too strange. I'm so jealous of your ability to buy mags like that at the store, STY. I confess the only Twi merch I own is the Saga itself (oh and the dvd of course). My husband offered to buy the New Moon mag for me, and I couldn't even go through with it. I'm a big closeted wimp.

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  55. @ Cindy, pmsl! I love that you're comparing Robward & Taycob's prowess in your dreams!

    I have to confess swinging both ways a bit, I love Edward (of course) but every so often I need a Jacob fix. I have to say that this has become more frequent since the lastest topless shots came out. I still get a big shiver of wrongness through me though when I find myself having *ahem* inappropriate thoughts about him. Although the age of consent is 16 over here ;o). Trouble is though, the more if these pics I see, you know. God knows what I'll be like at the film. I think a Taycob dream might just tip me over the edge (yes I did say tip :oP), I had a Rob dream that had nothing but flirting in it and that notched my Robsession up to unacceptable levels for about a week before my hormones died down enough to function again. Have to confess to having this window open against my topless Taycob wallpaper though. Taylor comes across as really nice in interviews too, he seems pretty genuine. Enough of this underage madness now *sigh*.

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  56. Snarky - so funny you should mention this....Mama Cougar made the same TwiPorn Mix up! (I forgot my damned bifocals when I went to the local CVS to get my mag.)

    Here's the video evidence of my rant:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81lznG7BTZQ

    Mama Cougar

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  57. I was actually thinking about this just the other day -- i.e. the fact that when I was younger, I liked relatively "older" celebs... Like, when I was a teen, I liked Johnny Depp (who is 13 years older than me) or Keanu Reeves (who is 12 years older)... But I never had crushes on the guys my own age... So, yeah, I get why the kids love Rob, even though he's relatively older...

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  58. ****WHAT IS EVERYONE DOING TO HOLD THEMSELVES UNTIL NOV 20TH?***

    I have re read the entire sagag & am now reading ALL the fan fic i can get my obsessed mitts on..I have recently taken to learning about Carlisle before Twilight & Jane & Alec & The Volturi b4 Twilight too..

    I found the most fabulous Carlisle b4 Twilight leading into Twilight story (a book really) that I read obsessively in 2 days..looking for good Jane & alec fan fic.

    I make silly collages too :)

    I have watched "You Tube" & the Xtra's DVD about a mill times too..

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  59. BOOK ABOUT CARLISLES LIFE. TRUST, IT DOES NOT SUCK AT ALL. IT IS FABULOUS! SO FABULOUS! I PROMISE :)

    http://www.lulu.com/content/7435818

    IT'S CALLED "WANING MOON" BY "YBOR JEN.

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  60. Hey - It's "seriously considering TAYCOB" Cindy

    So...I'm not my real age in the dreams. I'm always an appropriate under 20 OR there is some dream world where nobody has a physical age we're all just our spiritual age thing. It's the subconscious mind at work. (how do you spell subconscious?)

    I can only do what I can to control my CONSCIOUS (Am I still spelling this wrong?)...ne way...as I was saying I only have modified control over my thoughts when I'm awake. And these body uh I mean boys don't make it easy.

    YOU see what it's like to be in hormonal hell. And I don't have a husband to take out all this "energy" on.

    So if you know any 108 year old vampires or 16 year old werewolves or (Breaking Dawn spoiler alert) shape-shifters. Send their fine asses down to Texas. I'll find them from the border.

    So it's not Cindy God help you you're old enough to be Robward's mother and yes I am old enough to be TAYCOB's grandmother. (But for the record just barely. As if I and my offspring started reproductive years at age 14.5. So now math wizards, how old is pervy Cindy?

    Anyway I don't think of Edward as being 17. I think of him as being an exceptionally well preserved 108year old. So that would make HIM pervy not me!

    Cindy

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  61. I'm laughing so hard at all the flashbacks of my Tiger Beat days. I had my room plastered with pictures of all the guys from "The Outsiders" (Tom Cruise, Patrick Swazye, Rob Lowe, etc.) Those "older guys" were all I could think about. Now that I'm much *cough* older, it's so frustrating to be embarassed to buy the Rob magazines and look at the check-out girl and think, if you even make a comment, I will rip your fuckin' throat out!!! I just want to enjoy my Rob loot in peace.

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  62. Okay so one more thing...

    How many thought could a
    Twitard think
    If a Twitard could think

    How many thoughts could Robward wanting-woman think
    If a Robward wanting woman could
    think?

    How many things would a Robward
    wanting-woman could want non Rob things?

    How many JayCob girls could if they could would they?

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  63. When I was a tween, it was all about Robbie Williams, Boyzone and the Backstreet Boys (I liked Nick. Sister Banshee used to call me a lesbian because of it). Oh and David Beckham and Michael Owen, another soccer player who is, imo, way hotter than Becks.
    I still like older guys (Johnny Depp, Anthony Keidis, Dave Navarro, Ewan McGregor, to name a few). Rob's the only guy I've really crushed on who's younger than me. But it's only a year, so I don't feel like too much of a perv.

    @Cindy: I'm pretty sure you're spelling conscious and subconscious right. I'm such a nerd...

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  64. I just LMAO Sty-at your post ..and all these comments!
    what a fucking hoot.

    I have to say that going to the stores where all the mags taunt me is painful because i see all the tween mags (and all the 14 year old heart throbs on them with those lawyers/doctors to be "The Jonas Brothers")..and I just cringe at myself. I feel waaaaay too pathetic. Some days I'm brave and all Rosalie like VolvoBackseater..but most days - not so much! I just lurk from my laptop. So STY I need your research - I too will help fund! getb that paypal going! I need YOU!

    and I LOL for Cazza and the gift wrapping the mag. This was hilarious! Thx everyone!

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  65. I so wanted to buy one of the all RPattz magazines but I thought my husband would kill me for spending $10 on that since he has been out of work for 4 months and hates my obsession. But I did buy the M magazine picutered above because I thought I could blame that on my 7-year old daughter wanting it. How sad is it that I have to blame things on a 7 year old to hide my obsession.

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  66. You'd think this my deter me from having my boy in NY send me a copy over to the UK but I really want the posters... I'm 27 :/
    - Lorabell

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  67. They have Wegmans in NJ???? I LOVE Wegmans!!!!!!!!!!

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  68. I'm in RiteAid today to buy a pack of Guinness, and I see one of the Rob mags. HAD to have it. So I'm at the check-out with my booze and my porn and the clerk cards me! And she tells me not b/c of the beer, but the mag LOL. I almost said it was for my niece but I just hung my head and slithered out ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hi...
    This is such an awesome post.I have enjoyed alot while browsing it here.I love Robert and Kristen!!!They are both great actors and actress
    Druckerpatronen

    ReplyDelete
  70. Fuck you.

    Because of this post I spent 2 hours at Borders last night reading Rob magazines.

    Fuck you.

    ReplyDelete
  71. @Rob's Bitch - LMFAO - sorry!!! We heart you, still! Don't be mad...

    : )

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  72. I got Rob pattinson's life stories mag for my birthday, it was a very welcome gift from the girls. All I got from my husband was an eye roll when he saw it.

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  73. They have Wegmans in NJ???? I LOVE Wegmans!!!!!!!!!!

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  74. Hey - It's "seriously considering TAYCOB" Cindy

    So...I'm not my real age in the dreams. I'm always an appropriate under 20 OR there is some dream world where nobody has a physical age we're all just our spiritual age thing. It's the subconscious mind at work. (how do you spell subconscious?)

    I can only do what I can to control my CONSCIOUS (Am I still spelling this wrong?)...ne way...as I was saying I only have modified control over my thoughts when I'm awake. And these body uh I mean boys don't make it easy.

    YOU see what it's like to be in hormonal hell. And I don't have a husband to take out all this "energy" on.

    So if you know any 108 year old vampires or 16 year old werewolves or (Breaking Dawn spoiler alert) shape-shifters. Send their fine asses down to Texas. I'll find them from the border.

    So it's not Cindy God help you you're old enough to be Robward's mother and yes I am old enough to be TAYCOB's grandmother. (But for the record just barely. As if I and my offspring started reproductive years at age 14.5. So now math wizards, how old is pervy Cindy?

    Anyway I don't think of Edward as being 17. I think of him as being an exceptionally well preserved 108year old. So that would make HIM pervy not me!

    Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  75. ****WHAT IS EVERYONE DOING TO HOLD THEMSELVES UNTIL NOV 20TH?***

    I have re read the entire sagag & am now reading ALL the fan fic i can get my obsessed mitts on..I have recently taken to learning about Carlisle before Twilight & Jane & Alec & The Volturi b4 Twilight too..

    I found the most fabulous Carlisle b4 Twilight leading into Twilight story (a book really) that I read obsessively in 2 days..looking for good Jane & alec fan fic.

    I make silly collages too :)

    I have watched "You Tube" & the Xtra's DVD about a mill times too..

    ReplyDelete
  76. hahahahaha you are so brave, I do think that perhaps the publishers shoudl furnish a discreet paper bag for the Twilight magazines like they do with real porn...not like I know how they make porn discreet...but seriously..I laughed...out loud...when I saw your cart picture!

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  77. Okay girls I don't know where this post topic goes so I guess this is as good as anywhere.

    I JUST HAD MY FIRST JACOB SEX DREAM.

    I've been team Edward since May 2009 when I read Twilight.

    This changes things.

    OH MY JACOB! He was warm caring explosive. I don't know how my unconscience mind has done this but it has.

    Okay so WE (some select group of about 100 fans had won a day with the Twilight cast. It was the perfect fall day beautiful, crisp, blue, windy.

    The location was an outdoor park, totally closed to the public except for our group.

    First we played some crazy tag football game. (Shouldn't this have been baseball?) Any way we were having so much fun and no one was enjoying the day more than our beloved Twilight cast. We were all as one...

    However at the beginning everyone was totally focused on Robsten. What are they doing, they are playing foot ball okay I'm watching that. And just fyi in the dream it was totally open that they were a couple, were going to be a couple and everyone was very relaxed in that. No tension what if what ifs.

    Then somehow I met Taylor. This is wierd too, but i wasn't my "real age" self and I wasn't my teenage self. It was more of the real me and the real
    Taylor.

    So things went along and he promised that he would meet me later in private. I looked forward to that all day.

    When we finally saw each other it was explosive. He was so generous andd GIFTED. And girls trust me I've had my share of Robward dreams.

    I don't know if the comparsion has any basis whatsoever in real life...but let me say that if I were Bella or Kristen I would give some serious consideration to Jacob or Taylor because the boy is talented.

    He kept his eyes open and connected to my eyes during the cummulative moment! Ever, have you ever???

    Think about TAYCOB girls...

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  78. My mom bought my daughter the Rob Pattinson Mag last week. She is such a nice grandma. Well...my daughter has yet to receive it.

    It IS MINE!!! ALL MINE!!! hehehe

    Purely research of course..

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  79. Hmmm I think it's time for another run to the magazine shop and see what I can find. Gotta keep that twilight collection up...
    When I bought the sexy stars of twilight mag I did the same flip over to the back to try and hide it, no such luck it had a fugly drawing of Kristen, Rob, & Taylor. I thought that Kristen looked like Princess Leia and Rob looked like Elvis...

    ReplyDelete

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