Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween & A PantyGate '09 Update

Happy Halloween!

This is going to be a really random post and Jenny Jerkface is going to tell me it's too long, but bear with me!

First off, I'd like to thank Twitarded reader Patches for sending me a picture of her Twitard-O'-Lantern [above] - she and a few friends got together one night recently, fixed themselves some cocktails, and broke out the pumpkin carving knives. Amazingly, everyone ended the evening with their digits intact and nothing was spilled but booze and pumpkin guts. She got creative and decided to declare her Twitard self to the masses on Halloween - now that's out of the Twi closet! I'm impressed...

I'm actually going to a Halloween party tonight...and I think I'm gonna go dressed as Bella. This wasn't my original intention... Like every year before this, I always tell myself that I am NOT getting dressed up in a costume (I'm not a party-pooper; I'm just lazy and not very creative). And then I end up getting invited to a party (or throwing one) and everyone decides to get dressed up and at the very last possible second I decide that I should wear a costume and I wind up at the stupid Halloween store on 10/31 fighting with a bunch of other idiots over the last pair of shitty, over-priced vampire fangs in the place. But not this year! I was laying in bed earlier trying to figure out a way out of this predicament and it occurred to me that I DO own a Bella dress. And a full-size Edward. And I am not opposed to donning a wig or dyeing my hair brown (been there). Plus it's an excuse to go buy a pair of cute new sneakers. Bonus! Too bad I will look like a total fat cow standing next to NM FSE because he's turned sideways and is just a little slip of a thing [note: I would probably look like a big fat cow standing next to Robert Pattinson, too, but I'll never know since I am expecting the restraining order to be served any moment now but more on that in a sec...].

SO! I am going dressed as a character who most people my age won't recognize in an outfit from a movie that hasn't even been released yet [19 days!!! GAH!!!] and I'll be drunk and toting around a huge chunk of cardboard, but what the hell - sounds like a fun way to spend a night, right???

What JJ would be wearing if she could find one... and I will ignore her if she does.

Moving on...

PantyGate '09.

[I promise that when this whole thing blows over, you will never see the word "panty" here ever EVER again - pinkie swear!]

If you haven't been on Twitter and following me and Jenny Jerkface, you missed a lot! Just in general, you should be on Twitter. I used to think it was useless/stupid/a total waste of time but now I am addicted plus it's only 140 characters a pop with hardly any bells and whistles to figure out so even a total technophobe loser like me can figure it out--it's THAT easy! But here's a little recap: the Edward undies have been EVERYWHERE [which is what they are--"Edward undies"; it's a shame that "Pattinson Panties" has a better ring to it because that definitely ups the creepy factor somehow imho]. If they were really traveling and not just blazing 'round the internets, they'd be all dirty and tatty and I'd have no choice but to burn the slutty bits and give them a dignified [ha!] burial or something. But they are safely tucked away along with my other Twi merch.

I'm not going to link back here, but in some way, shape or form, they've been on Perez Hilton, DListed, E!'s The Awful Truth [complete with a "would you wear these or should they be for KStew only?" poll - last time I checked, it was 37% "yay" and 63% "nay"], Best Week Ever, The Huffington Post [no shit], Jezebel, a gazillion international sites that I can't read but I can make out words like "sparkle dildo," Celebuzz, Socialite Life, Suicide Girls, MTV [with the tag-line "for the woman who has everything...except Robert Pattinson's icy, undead stare embroidered onto the front of her underwear"], Bust, The Frisky, Videogum, and some site called "Bloody Disgusting." We've been all over the Twidom and beyond to IMDB blogs, mommy blogs, Buffy blogs, all over livejournal and facebook...

Someone even made these Lestat Undie mock-ups! I'll make an exception and link back to Videogum because even though they called us "gross," they were funny... And we ARE gross. Sometimes.

I found these next to a pic of the Pattinson panties on 107.5 KLZ's site - yup - we even made the radio, folks! Another (Australian) radio station put us on their "Daily Dirt" web page with the line "Twilight hysteria is heading downstairs..." - oh and in general, these things are HUGE in Australia! And did I mention that they are splattered all over gay sites, too? Um, yeah...

Well, you get the idea. They've gotten around. If you do a Google search, there are now over 300,000 results. Both JJ and I have had people forward them to us! I even had someone send me a link about something Twilight-related but unrelated to the undies and when I clicked on it, there they were on the sidebar with the words "Going Viral NOW!" emblazoned above them.

Most of the comments in the blogoshpere at large are...not nice. And we get the "ew!" factor - we do! - that's part of what makes them so freaking funny! We just never expected that the ha-ha would leave our dirty little corner of the Twidom...

In an even more curious and potentially disturbing turn of events, in the midst of a massive tweet-fest over how wild and massive this whole thing was getting, we got the following email from Red Bella [who made them] -
Red Bella: Should I be freaked out that "The Ellen Show" is now following me on Twitter?!

Snarkier Than You: Um, yes - you should be very freaked out!!!!

Jenny Jerkface: WHAT?!!!!! THUD.
So there you have it... We figure that "the man himself" has already seen them [gulp], and now it looks like there is the distinct possibility that he could find himself confronted with them when he's on The Ellen Show on 11/20 (or at least that's when the episode airs). That's really the only part of this whole thing that we are sorry about or find regrettable! We only hope that he has the sense of humor we think he does and isn't too freaked out. I know we've said it before, but WE'RE SORRY, ROBERT PATTINSON!!! Oh and if anyone knows how we can send him a sincere apology that might actually have a possibility of getting to him (a la "the Stoli shirt"), please email us. Really. We'll even send the only two pairs of these in existence to him if he wants us to [JJ's note - Speak for yourself, bitch]. He and Kristen Stewart can dance around their suite at the Chateau Marmont with them on their heads and then they can throw them into the fireplace and laugh over it and then go have more amazing sex. Or something like that.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Twitarded Aims Low... As Usual

On Wednesday night Snarkier Than You and I attended the Aiming Low Party. At first we were hesitant about going out in public, but we deduced by the name of the party that we would fit right in. I mean, you can't get much lower than a blog that is entirely devoted to older women cursing, getting drunk, obsessing over teen novels and lusting after a certain male actor who would, most likely, whimper in fear if either of us ever actually approached him. Especially after, ahem, what will forever be known as Pantygate 2009.

We were wrong. Apparently their lowered bars still rest high above ours.

The meetup was hosted by Hewlett Packard and held in the Sheraton in New York City. Fancy Schmancy! To prepare, STY and I met up with adorable, funny-as fuck-Effbit. You may know her from the blog Nomness. If you don't you need to check 'em out.

Anyhoo, we met up at a bar beforehand because STY and I are socially defective and needed to have a few cocktails before heading over to the hotel to, well, socialize. We knew we would get along famously with Effbit when both her and STY whipped out their flasks (I left mine at home! I'm an irresponsible drinker!).

Like peas in a pod... that's all I'm saying...

After one or three drinks, Effbit took the lead and we were off, buzzed enough to feel comfortable meeting total strangers. And even talking to them! Well, for me at least. Effbit seemed totally nonplussed about the whole thing. Bitch.

We go to check in at the hotel and I experienced one of those moments when I wished I had thought through my decisions a little harder. You what I'm talking about? It's the kind of moment where you suddenly step back and think, 'well, fuck me. This was a really stupid idea, after all. Wish I had thought of this before!!' You see, there were all these sweet and efficient looking mommy types wandering around when the lady with the clipboard asks, "Your name?"

"Jenny..." [fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!]..."Jerkface." I can't be sure because I immediately burst into a bout of embarrassed sweating, but I think people moved away from me. Alarmed.

"It's okay," STY grumbled as she slapped her hastily written Twitarded sticker on her tit. "I just had to sign in as Snarkier Than You."

I felt better.

Goodie-filled schwag-bags in tow, we started for the front of the ballroom but had a high school moment and corrected our trajectory to make a beeline for the back instead, where I assumed we could go unnoticed. That's what one wants in a social event, right? Plus it was closer to the food and the bar - wooo! best. seats. ever.

We didn't go unnoticed and, for once, I'm glad. We had a nice chat with TJ Barber, author of Chronicles of a fat girl named miss t. j. who is just plain awesome. Next we met Barefoot Foodie, who was pretty much the whole damn reason we went in the first place because she actually made me pee a little when I read her post Hot Pants.

We had a really good time! All the ladies at Aiming Low were really nice and no one punched us in the face for being a Twilight blog [even when STY put her nametag on her forehead], though I did get a raised eyebrow for snorting at the table. I think. Did I mention they had free cocktails? Uh huh, they had free cocktails. And really really good hors d'oeuvres (a.k.a. "dinner").

The free booze may or may not have had anything to with the fact that I almost dragged poor STY on the wrong subway on the way home. Luckily, I realized it - otherwise we could have ended up someplace we wouldn't want to be. It didn't help that STY wasn't exactly stoked about being at my mercy navigation-wise, especially since I have zero sense of direction, but we managed to get back to Penn Station relatively unscathed.

Yes, STY, I totally know where I am going. We have to go down here. Hellooooo I take the subway everyday and.. oh, fuck me. We're going the wrong way. Shut up.

Oh, except for some dude that was making fun of us on the subway. See? We were on our best behavior and people STILL rag on us! Well, okay, I might have been making fun of STY because she didn't want to touch the pole [that's what she said] but still. It's bad when complete stranger mock you on the subway in New York City. I didn't think we were that weird but there you go. Bastids.

Oh, by the way, Pantygate was gaining speed and about to turn into a full on, no-lube-anal-clusterfuck at this point. In fact, we weren't even aware of the storm brewing...

See? See how happy and calm we look?! Well, STY says I always look evil but whatever. Oh, and to all the male commenters that have been gleefully throwing out their two cents regarding Pantygate. No, we aren't fat ugly women with nine million cats and warts. So lick my whisker biscuit, fuckers.

Happy Halloween!! (It's Early But I HAD to Share!)

Soooo... Apparently some of Jenny Jerkface's friends had a little time on their hands... [I am in TEARS over this!]


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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Random Acts of Twitardedness

STY & JJ, I'd email you pictures if I knew where to send them... Really really good pictures...

You guys email us stuff... And we love stuff!!! We have good intentions of sharing all the wonderfulness with you guys 'cause hey, we love to share, but sometimes things get lost in the shuffle or we maybe can't do an entire post around one picture, no matter how dang cute it may be... But then I had an idea: maybe I'd just post a whole bunch of the awesome pics and graphics that we've received?! Hope you enjoy... It's been a crazy few days and I know I can definitely use a laugh!

In completely random order - and sorry if I don't credit correctly - please feel free to let me know if I don't get it right of if I missed a link to anyones blog or something!

Anntastic23 sent us this awesome pic of her ridiculously cute daughter in her special TwiCon outfit!

She really loves Mini-Edward!

This is how I feel when I am hangin' with Mini-Edward, too!

Anntastic23 also let's Mini-E frolic in her jewelery collection (she swears this isn't all real, but regardless, it all looks good to me)!

Mini-Edward actually really gets around! He goes places; you tell us about it...

He likes this street a lot... (thanks want2beinforks!)

He goes on weekend bender drinky sprees...

And then gets a lil' late-nite bite to eat! Mmmmm... In-n-Out Burger... (Thanks, VitaminR70!)

He goes set-stalking! (Thanks, Red Bella!)

And to Niagara Falls - representing Team Twitarded! (Thanks, Mrs. Vanquish!)

He stays in hotels with..."curious" decor in the bathrooms. (Thanks, Smuttier Than You!)

...and he always plays safe! Er, well, almost... (Thanks, Adventures of Pocket Edward!)

But sometimes, spouses lash out at Mini-E and make it clear how they feel about "the competition" - eek! Kinda strange that he looks so ghostly here, isn't it??? (Thanks, Lisa! Check out Lisa's blog, 17 Forever!)

Even FSE gets in on the act! Kim snuck out and took these pictures of FSE next to her neighbor's shiny silver Volvo - ballsy! And I agree, this is more like the Volvo I had in mind, too...

That Volvo would look better with this license plates! (Thanks, Twi-me?)

This is from a mod furniture/housewares catalog called "CB2" - I love their stuff! Melinda noticed a familiar book in this shot... Another Twitard, outed!

See? He still loves us... We hope... (Thanks TwiCarol - check out her Team Jacksper blog!)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A Twitard Runs Afoul...

Our friends love us. They really do. They are also just as evil as we are so when we got an email with the link below, along with a warning that this could happen to us we... fucking couldn't stop laughing because we knew it was no idle threat.

From here (Click link to enlarge pic)

This was sent to us by none other than our lovely OPattz, who is a kick ass dancer, if you'll all recall. While he is the best sport EVER, he only tolerates STY and my addiction to Twilight because he knows we make fun of it as often as we extol its virtues. This was the note accompanying the link.

This is what will happen to both of you if you ever say how "awesome" twillight is. I just thought you should be warned that you must keep disparaging the series or all bets are off.....


This is hysterical and we want this to happen to someone we know. Just not us. And while Mr. Snarky and ML frequently threaten to start treating us like the juvenile delinquents we've been acting like lately, at least we won't get grounded.

I don't know who this poor sap is but his friends are diabolical. I'd buy them a drink but trust me, I'd stay sober around them...

P.S. - Snarkier Than You and I won't be around tonight. I know, we suck. We are attending a little bloggy meetup called Aiming Low in New York. We fully intend to take advantage of the free booze and will hopefully not get jumped by all the non-Twi bloggers.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Twitarded - Living the Way of The Twilight...

It's no secret that Snarkier Than You and I probably have a rather unhealthy obsession with all things Twilight. The amount of Twi-merch we each have could easily fill a couple of shelves down at the local Hot Topic. Actions figures, Full Size Edwards, band-aids, keychains - even the Bella dress. Multiple ones!

I was looking for the one that said "holy fucking cock gobblers! I'm addicted to Twilight." but I couldn't find it. Sniffles.

At first it was fun in a weird holy-shit-you're-way-too-old-to-be-doing-this kinda way.

But now it's just straight up getting out of hand. Twilight has officially seeped into every single aspect of my life. Like some kind of Twi Monk, I am now living The Way of Twilight. I'm all "the way to peace is to tear the vampire to shreds and burn the pieces, grasshopper." Or something like that.

It was an insidious transformation. First we talked constantly about Twilight (er, okay, we still do that). Mini-Edward and his exploits followed shortly thereafter, covertly at first but eventually we'd whip him out wherever the hell we were.

Fast forward a few months later and I'd be walking down the street and see some dude with crazy hair and think to myself, "hey, that guy has Robward hair!" or "I wish Alice was here so she could have warned me not to get shit-faced at the company party". The next thing I know I'm doing the unthinkable - I'm talking to strangers on the train. I would see someone with one of the books and the Most Important Rule** ever is completely forgotten and I would speak to them. About Twilight.

Moving right along the Twi-line to present day and I find myself sniffing perfumes at Kohl's because they have the word Twilight in their names. And I'm suddenly struck with the thought, "holy fuck, I don't know if I like this scent because it smells good or because of the name."

But it wasn't until this weekend that I knew, just knew, that Twilight had really, totally and completely taken over my brain.

Photo from here

SnarkierThanYou and I went to TJMaxx over the weekend. As is our nature in stores like this, I made a beeline for the shoes and she raced toward the handbags.

So there I am, perusing last year's rejects in a size 6 when I spot them. My heart picks up speed and I actually let out a little squeak. I want them. Badly.

I'm reaching toward those suckers when it hits me harder than Tyler's van would have hit Bella if Edward didn't get all 'knight in fucking shining armor' on her.

SQUEEeeeeeeeee? Oh no. I've just hit rock bottom...

What the hell is wrong with me?

These boots are an abomination! These are the kind of shoes you only wear if you live someplace really wet all the time, are camping, or are shoveling out horse manure. Yet I was actually considering introducing them to my closet full of cute and adorable shoes. Shoes with bows and roses. Shoes with skinny heels and sharp plaids. Fuck me silly stilettos that leave me hobbling for days after I wear them [in more ways than one!]. Pink heels, for fuck sake! I mean, sure they could have hobnobbed with my 14-hole Docs but what. the. fuck. was. I... ohhhh. Fuuuuuuck me.

I only want them because they remind me of the boots Bella was wearing in the movie.

These shoes. But not that fucking hat. Ooooh, I like that bag, too... Wait, when the hell did she have that bag?! How could I have missed that. Oh well, guess I have to watch the movie... again.

I backed away from the boots slowly, vaguely horrified as I processed the fact that I was just about to buy a pair of ugly ass boots that I will never, ever use in my lifetime just because they reminded me of Twilight.

Finally, I text STY. I wanted affirmation that I still had one shred of sanity left and that these thoughts were okay.

Is it bad that I want to get a pair of rain boots bc they look like the ones Bella was wearing in Twilight?

My phone beeps a few seconds later.

Are u really texting me from the shoe section?????

What? Did she actually think I was going to hunt her down? Hellooooo, handbags are like twenty feet from the shoes. I'm not a marathon runner. Clearly, I went to the wrong person. And anyway, I had moved on even further from her. I only know this because I could see her red noggin bobbing through the clothing racks. I'm thinking if I ever changed my handle I would change it too 'Lazy Twat-face"

I text her back.

No, I'm in Housewares.

I hit send and look up at the shelf I'm standing next to. Right there, on eye level, is a glass candle. With a picture of a cupcake on it.

Holy crap, these look like breasts with the nipples on fire. Just sayin'...

For those of you that don't know cupcakes are synonymous with Tattward in Clipped Wings & Inked Armor (if you haven't yet, you must read this).


I stare at it. It winks at me and whispers seductively, "you know you want me. You want to bring me home and light me up and pretend that you're about to fuck Tattward three ways from Wednesday. Say it. Out loud. You want me because I remind you of Twilight fan fiction!!!"

GAH!!! Fine, fine YES! I WANT YOU!! Satisfied? I mean, I don't even like the smell of cupcakes but I needed that candle. So I bought it. I'd already passed up on the useless boots, after all. And anyway, I don't recall Bella getting any action in those boots but a candle always sets a nice romantic tone, right?

I get my purchases home and hide any contraband I shouldn't have bought from ML, since we're on something that's a total buzz-kill called 'a budget'. Then I light my cupcake candle, saunter over to the computer and sit down to reread CW&IA, the sweet smell of butter cream all around me. By the time ML got home I was practically licking the computer screen.

"Hi," he says, looking alarmed at the probably feral, insane look on my face.

"Hi..." I trail off because, for a split second, I came very close to doing A Very Bad Thing. And ML knows it.

ML looks at the screen and recognizes the fan fiction website. He frowns. "You were going to call me Edward, weren't you?"

"No," I blustered. "Of course not, don't be silly!!"

But I was.

Yup. Twilight owns me. Hard.

** The Most Important Rule Ever is the rule that you never, ever talk to someone you don't know because they are most likely an insane, demented person who will kidnap and do unspeakable, vile, painful things to you just because you said "hi". I think this rule may only apply to the East Coast, however, because you folks in the South are really fucking friendly.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Memes From the Field, Pt II: Lorabell from TwiCrack Addict

So after we tagged a few folks with our meme last week, we realized that not everyone is as...blatantly gauche as we are here at Twitarded. Hard to believe, I know, but we take it for granted that we can talk about...well, just about anything! Because we didn't want to offend anyone outside of Twitardia [read: kids don't hang out here but they do elsewhere in the Twidom] and you guys are all pretty much unoffendable, we offered to post a couple of our tags here!

Pt. II is Lorabell/His Crooked Smiles from TwiCrack Addict!

Take it away, Lorabell--

1) The craziest/most stupid thing I've ever done - *hangs head in shame* on a recent trip to NY I did in fact visit the set of Remember Me on my birthday - and it was a late 20's birthday, which makes my fan-girl-geekdom even less OK, lol! However, at one point when Rob came out of his trailer, the young girl next to me went to freak out, scream and run at him, I blocked her with my arm and said "you do not run at him!" - I think that gains some of my cool points back?

2) Who would I "Fuck, Marry or Kill" out of the Twi cast - lol, I don't know whether I could go the whole way but I'd totes get it on with Kristen; marry (puh-lease) Edward for an eternity of schmexy times; and kill, hmmm... tough call but I'm gunna say Christian - I know that's controversial and she seems super nice but she looks JUST like a girl I went to Uni (college) with who was the biggest bitch!

3) My favorite band/type of music - current rotation on my iPod includes Florence + the Machine, Blue October, John Mayer, Muse, Marcus Foster (<-- I heart him!) and the Kings of Leon.

4) My favourite movie besides Twilight - I always love Good Will Hunting the more I watch it, am a sucker for chick-flicks like The Notebook, classics like An Affair To Remember or How To Marry A Millionaire and total awesomeness like Labyrinth - you remind me of the babe!

5) Does my RL family/friends know I'm addicted to Twilight/blogging? - Um... just a bit ;) I've converted near every one of my close family and friends to reading the books - I'm not in the Twi-closet by any means but don't know if they actually realize how far gone I am as blogging redirects my addition away from talking Twilight to them 24/7!

6) How many hours a week do I spend doing Twi related things? - Too many, probably as many as I do at my actual job, which isn't exactly 9-5 - I'm awake until gone 3am most nights blogging, check in on Twitter from work and I've printed off hundreds of pages and stayed awake until 5am one entire work week to finish Wide Awake - I like me some angsty-lemony Fan Fic!

7) Any random fact I might want to share? - Hmmm... well random Twilight fact, I only saw the film after my boyfriend read the books, I was all "what are you reading those lame Tween books for?" and then went to see the movie with him and was immediately "you have these books you say?" and then proceeded to finish all four within the same week that I was moving back to the UK from NYC before Christmas.
Random totally non Twilight fact... I love the smell of sponges. Seriously.


Thanks for playing, Lorabell!! [and sponges?!? sea sponges? kitchen sponges?? I need more info - lol!]

Memes From the Field, Pt I: Robsten Lovers

So after we tagged a few folks with our meme last week, we realized that not everyone is as...blatantly gauche as we are here at Twitarded. Hard to believe, I know, but we take it for granted that we can talk about...well, just about anything! Because we didn't want to offend anyone outside of Twitardia [read: kids don't hang out here but they do elsewhere in the Twidom] and you guys are all pretty much unoffendable, we offered to post a couple of our tags here!

First up are the loverly ladies at Robsten Lovers/Rob & kriSTEN lovers! Take it away, Robsten--

Hey girlies!

There are three of us admins - here are all of our answers!


1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
Wow. I have to narrow this down to one thing huh? How about when I got bumped into at my wedding reception and I fell straight on my back? Or when I spilled an entire cup of coffee on my cheerleading uniform right before a game and had to cheer with a huge stain on the front? Or the time my high school boyfriend spent the night (you know, after he snuck through the window) and I farted in my sleep so loud that it woke me up?

Just to name a few.

2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.
Fuck- This is really tough cause Edward is a hot mofo. But I'm not really into banging anyone prettier than me. I think I'd enjoy a good hump with Jasper cause he'd make feel all warm and fuzzy while we're getting it on. That might sounds pleasant doesn't it?

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?
I like ANY type of music. Even get a huge kick out of obscene rap music. It cracks me up. I have to keep it g rated though when my kids are in the car. Which is like 98% of the time.

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?
You guys picked like the hardest effin' questions. I honestly could not pick just one. I prefer comedies. I almost peed my pants watching The Hangover (the 2nd movie I saw in theaters in the last 12 months. Twilight was the other one, natch).

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger? a certain degree. I think K is the only one who knows just how bad it is. And it's bad. I camped out overnight at comic-con with my then 8 month old daughter. That's all kinds of addicted.

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
Ummm, a lot. In fact, since you asked, I'm probably going to log the time I spend doing it this week. I'll get back to you.

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.
Most people know from the blog that I have 5 kids but most don't know I'm only 26. Only being 3 years older than RPatts makes me feel slightly better about being a Twitard.


1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?

Seriously, I don't know how to answer this! You see, I am very outgoing and have said some pretty off the wall stuff! (Some being quite stupid actually!) It's just part of my charm! LOL! Here's one for example, ever get the hiccups? Was bartending one night when the local cop came in to "check things out". Well, to make things short and sweet, he had the hiccups. I proceeded to ask him when the last time he had sex was. (The look he gave me was priceless) It was meant to shock him into forgetting about his hiccups, but instead he though I was offering! (Not good! My hubs nearly fell off his chair laughing as he realized what I was missing.) Literally had to explain the reason for my asking in detail so he understood. After which he thought it was a rather clever way to cure the hiccups!

2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.
Eff: Hello! I know I am the only one out there, (**wink, wink**) but can you say EDWARD!!!! (LOL, Anyone else ever think about all the fun things you could teach a younger man! LMAO! **Did I actually say that out loud...**Thinking, thinking** Yep I did and I don't regret it! Naughty -M-)
Marry: Er, let me think, EDWARD!
Kill: Well, just gotta say it, I'm a lover not a fighter! Not a one of those boys or gals I'd hurt! LOL

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?
I'm kinda equal opportunity in this department. I don't really have a "fav" type in general. As long as it has a catchy beat and doesn't give me a freakin headache I'm all for it!

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?
Gladiator!!!! (Can you say H-O-T!)

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?
Hell ya! My Mom is the one who got me hooked! My hubby quickly realized he better support my OCD or else our separation papers might read "does not sparkle" for the reason I was leaving him! (Isn't he funny! Came up with it all on his own! I was impressed!) He even takes the time to read our blog now to make sure he's up to date on all the Twi-News! My kids joke around that Edward is by BF and that makes me a cougar! (All I can say is, G-r-r-r-r baby!) Overall I am very blessed that my family supports my blogging and my Twi-addiction!

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
OK Twi-hards, please keep in mind I am one of the administrators of ROB & kriSTEN Lovers when I answer this! I probably spend at least 60 hours a week doing blog related things. I don't work out of the home so our blog is my full time job so to speak! (**And I love every minute of it!**) My kids even get a kick out of helping me pick out You Tube Videos and cast pics. It's like a game to see who can find the best stuff.

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I just wanna say that being a Twi fan means something different for all of us. It doesn't matter how or why you connected with the Saga. Regardless of what is said, know that we all have the right to support the cast in our own way, and as long as we remain respectful and safe we're doing nothing wrong!



1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
Crazy…hmmm don’t want to go there. Stupid? Sure. Plenty of those. I admit the amount of time, energy and effort that’s gone into my Twi-session is a bit stupid when there are infact many areas of my life that need some immediate attention. Personal grooming maintenance, for example. As of late I only blow out, push up, pluck, dye, flat iron or stiletto if Twilight is somehow involved. And believe me hubs has noticed. If it weren’t for him reaping the bennies of the hot fanfic then I’d be in hot water.

How about a stupid moment for pre teen K? (highschool stupidity was spent in the nightclubs of Tijuana…I grew up in San Diego with a few HS cheerleading stupid moments mixed in. An example? we coined the term COD 93 (cheer or die… yowsa), and college was quite simply a blur of stupidity mostly involving the rubgy team):

The start of K as stalker girl:

Eighth grade- family vacay to Boston gone wild when I insisted we camp outside Donnie Wahlberg’s house (do I even need to say NKOTB…if you are reading this you are a stalker fan girl type…you are my peeps) and then further insisting that we follow him in a paparazzi, before there were paparazzi, style chase to the airport, hopping into his limo to ask for auto only to get shut down by Donno’s security in a very not friendly to stalker fan girls way. Oh and my toe got broken in the shuffle…not pretty. Very stupid.

2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.

Okay a lot of Robstenites are young (but surprisingly many are also… not so young) so I gotta keep it clean. Eff Edward…who wouldn’t? hard to be creative here. Kill Jacob…he just bores me and without him it would just be a lot of Edward and Bella-icity…ahhh…Marry Dr. Cullen. I’m cool with being parental to Edward after I eff him. Is that weird?

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

It’s safe to say I don’t get music…I always defer to E’s musical talents to tell me who is who. If a bubble gum pop song has been over played to the max, that’s when I catch on and like it…point being…I love me some Britney. I also love 80s and currently I have ditched my Robward obsessions since seeing Sam Bradley live. Go see that guy while you can. AMAZE. Rob Who? Right now my song of the week is, “Shut up and let me go” by the Ting tings…I’ve been saying it to everyone.

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

Movie Besides Twilight? Oy. Well since everything comes back to Twilight, I’m going with The Family Stone (Elizabeth Reaser is in it)…it’s about crazy family dynamics and it is my life. You need to see it if you haven’t. trust.

5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?

My family knows and a few friends know about my bloggin’ but I have seriously gone awall since the blog started (I mean our blog is called Robsten Lovers, would you discuss it at soccer games or PTA meetings?). I try to blame my unruly toddler for demanding of my time, but the time on the computer is really starting to become an issue.

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? I cannot disclose the amount of time spent on Twilight but does this question include travel time cuz I’ve traipsed my arse from San Diego to Vancouver “covering events” for my non paying job. Can you imagine if we banned together to solve world peace instead of Edward lovin? Frick. Twilight Bloggers could run the UN. We are some serious bi-otchs.

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.
Random Fact: I always say that Twitared is our inner blog…if I wasn’t afraid of conforming to twi-ciety, I’d be twitarding all over the place…and believe me behind closed doors, I do. I guess I’m hanging on to the fantasy that some day the big wigs will read our blog and recognize our devotion to the Saga and insist that we meet the cast over cocktails. Yes. I said Fantasy.


Thanks for playing, ladies!!! Any time you feel the need to get down & dirty, you know where to find an outlet... : )

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Pattinson Panties! Edward Undies! We Got 'em!

Update: Um, we REALLY didn't anticipate the amount of attention that these undies would garner... They have been ALL over the world at this point (well, the pictures have - the real deal will remain tucked away with our Twi merch stash!) and the furor shows no sign of dying down any time soon. So we just wanted to say...Robert Pattinson, we are really REALLY sorry that you might actually see these one day soon. Please don't hate us! And if you want us to hook you up with that chick who called us nasty, dirty, stinking whores, we could arrange that - she seems nice! Although she could use a copy of the Creative Cursing book, in our humble opinions.

We mentioned a while ago that our friend Red Bella (aka Deb) was doing some custom embroidery for us... She generously contributed two custom-made Twitarded t-shirts to our "100-ish Ways Twilight Changed My Life" contest, and because we felt a little left out that other people were getting Twitarded gear and we weren't, Jenny Jerkface and I sent her a couple of items that she graciously agreed to embroider for us. The whole time she was working on our pieces, she kept alluding to a little "extra special" sumpthin'-sumpthin' that she was going to include when she sent our parcel back from Canada! We had no idea what to expect, but we got the distinct feeling that it was gonna be... very naughty. And we were right! Yay! We love being right almost as much as we love naughty stuff!

Ladies and twat-waffles, I present for your viewing pleasure...PATTINSON PANTIES!!!

The hoo-hoos have eyes--you can run but you can't hide!

It's like a bumper sticker but for your ass!

We nearly D-I-E-D laughing when we opened the little tissue-wrapped parcels and gawked at the contents: there was Edward! And Twilight! [Not sure how the chick who holds the apple would feel about the placement of her hands here, but oh well...] And Twitarded, too! This is the next best thing to having a Twitarded tramp stamp, imho. Less painful and you don't have to explain it to anyone... But I might stay out of communal dressing/changing rooms, just to avoid any questioning looks. Although on second thought, that might be a great way to out other Twitards... "Hey, is that Edward Cullen on your twat???"

Because how else can you get Robert Pattinson's autograph on your taint?

The accompanying note from Red Bella read:
You undoubtedly have heard of the Pattinson Pants, well... I give you straight from my devious little mind your very own Robward panties. Complete with extra lining in the special places for those times when the fan fiction gets steamy and the lady bits start to react. Oh and I also added the images of Robward's lips on the liner to help with those fantasies of having his mouth up against you... Enjoy!
You read right: check it out!*

So wrong... So very very wrong... Yet SO funny!!!

Thanks again, Red Bella, for the awesome undies! They might never get up close and personal with our bits and pieces, but we'll always be comforted by the fact that the possibility is only a short skip to our underwear drawer away...

[JJ's note - We tore into those packages and when we saw the panties we squealed and laughed at the same time. In retrospect, it was probably a really bizarre and/or terrifying sound, which is why Mr. Snarky came dashing over to investigate...about two seconds after I'd flipped the undies inside out and was staring, face to face with Robward's luscious mouth in the crotch of a pair of underwear. Awwwwwkward.]

*So do we wear these to the NM premiere under our Bella dresses or Twitarded gear [we haven't decided yet]? Or save them for the court date when we contest the restraining order/cease-and-desist from Robert Pattinson's camp??? Maybe wear them on our heads when we storm the stage of the Regis & Kelly Show?! So many possibilities, so few Pattz Panties...

Note (another update...): These were made for us as a gag by a very talented – and funny – reader. They are not for sale and are not being mass-produced.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Finally! A Robert Pattinson Video You Can Enjoy With The Kids!

That's right: someone finally made a video that you won't have to feel embarrassed to watch and listen to with the lil' ones lurking around... Tired of little Ethan singing "Sex On Fire" in front of the other, less-understanding, non-Twi mommies? Think it's time to maybe get your wee one listening to something other than Pussycat Dolls and Britney Spears songs?? Well my friends, today is your lucky day. Hot pics for you, an educational song for the little ones!

In a happy string of sorta coincidences, I was tweeted a link to this by purpleg8r last night. She said she saw it and envisioned Jenny Jerkface and I singing along after a bit of weekend-level imbibing. Not gonna say it could happen, not gonna say it didn't... When I went to YouTube to check it out, I found that I had already subscribed to her videos - unicorns429 - and had posted her "Robert Pattinson I Want Your Hands on Me" video a couple of weeks back. Small Twidom!

No hand-puppets were hurt in the making of this video. Except maybe the couple hundred they skinned, dyed white, and pieced together to make that shaggy fur rug Plaidward is splayed on in a few pics. Other than that, though...

OK, I was looking at unicorns429's other videos, and I HAVE to post this one, too! Er, kick the kids out of the room for this one, because there's definitely "let's get it on" kinda music here and the first minute and a half of the video features pans of Robward's crotch exclusively [note: I can make out his phone and nothing else - should we be worried?!] before moving on to lips...and elsewhere... Yeah, lock that door behind the kids why dontcha, just in case you need a few minutes (and I think you probably will). Oh but you might want to stop this one at 3:30 since the final, lingering shot is...well, you'll see... Now that I watched it to the very end, I feel comfortable saying you will be snapped back to some harsh plane of reality faster than you can say "The Tuck" and you'll be able to go on with your day after you shake that parting shot off... Don't say I didn't warn ya', but I do love the other 210 seconds to bits! : )

Friday, October 23, 2009

It's Friday Night in Twitardedville and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

It's Friday night in Twitardedville. It's been a long day and my back hurts from bending over my desk so my workload can fuck me in the ass.

Me at work, minus the nice lighting and James Spader. And way, way, WAY less sexy. Okay, my shit is nothing like this but you get the idea.

But life is good. I'm sitting on the computer, browsing Twilight-related blogs, listening to Twigasm and sucking down a bottle of vino through a straw cuz' I'm tres classy, bitches. Maybe ten years ago I'd be getting ready to go out for the night - showering, shaving given the off-chance I might trick some hapless young lad to come back to whatever shoulda-been-condemned hellhole I was living in at the time and, more than likely, smoking cigarette after cigarette while guzzling ridiculously cheap beer. While I remember those times (vaguely, admittedly) with a certain amount of nostalgia, the only thing I really miss are those fucking smokes. Hot damn I miss those smokes.
This picture is absolutely torturous for me. I'm not sure what I want more - the cigarette or the man. [note from STY - I saw this pic and went looking for my fave Robward smoking pic and five pages into my Google image search my lady-bits spontaneously combusted and I had to go take care of that situation. Seriously - I quit smoking what - six years ago? and would totally start again in a nanosecond given the opportunity to bum a smoke off of RPatts... I practically have nic-fits just looking at him holding a ciggie...]

Where was I? Oh yeah, Twiland.

Any. Way. Life is good. There are 27 (aww, c'mon, this day is almost over - 26 days) looooong more days until New Moon and every time I even think about it I get all hopped up like a kid on Christmas Morning when you knew you were getting that fucking bike. Or Laser Tag. Or Nintendo. Whatever, you know what I mean. [note from STY: I got a pony - not for Christmas, but still - a friggin' PONY, and I have also never been this excited.]

As you all know, SnarkierThanYou and I are going to see the New Moon Premiere a leeetle earlier than most of you folks and are planning on hobnobbing with a few other bloggers in the great city of New York. Rumor also has it that a certain young British, fuckhawt actor may also be in the same city.

Oh yes. That's right. RPattz and Twitarded in New York. Together. Yet soooo far apart. Which is probably a good thing for all parties involved since I'd really rather not have embarrassing photos of me sobbing and throwing myself at RPattz's feet, where I would probably totally just poop my pants.

RPattz? RPaaaaaatttz... where are yoooouuuuuu?

Then again, mortification and me are really good buds and I'm quite comfortable in it's presence. Therefore, I think we're going to try to hunt him down, half-heartedly of course. You know, typical Twitarded style.

STY - OMG!!! RPattz was seen on 52nd and 7th!!!
Me - Duuuuuuude, that's too far. We're on 48th and 7th. Where's the subway?
STY - [Considering] Meh, you're right. Let's just get a drink instead. What time is it?
ME - [Rolling eyes] You know the rules. You can drink alone and you can drink before noon. But you can't drink alone before noon. Annnnd we're not alone!! We're with each other!
STY - [Throws arms around me in complete adoration] You're right!! I love you bff.
[STY and JJ totter off arm in arm, RPattz completely forgotten.]

Yeah. Right.

{{Sigh.}} Let's face it: the end result of the above conversation would more likely be STY and I racing through the streets, shoving tourists and old ladies into oncoming traffic, dodging bike messengers and vaulting over homeless people to find the set or wherever the fuck RPattz is.
We would track RPattz like fucking Twi-ninjas and we would find him. Oh yes, we would find him. And then I would throw myself at his feet sobbing and poop my pants. [note from STY - wear Depends if you must but let's do this thang...]


Fuck me, I'm just all over the fucking place today, aren't I?

There is a reason for this, I swear. Half-way through this post it occurred to me that I have not yet watched Twilight in my new holy-shit-I-own-this-shizz house so...

Happy Friday, Twitards!!! Muhwa! I'm outta here!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

It's Time: Pre-New Moon ReVirginization!

That's right: I'm on New Moon lock-down 'til 11/19!

Like many a slutty chick who has happily flounced around the block more than a few times and then wants a fresh start, now that "The Big Day" is fast approaching, I'm starting to rethink my whorish online consumption of all things New Moon and how it may sully my premiere-night experience. Honestly, I am done. Over. Going to turn over a pristine new leaf. That's right: it's revirginization time!!!

I thought I was totally good with my level of pre-movie online stalking. I went NUTS when New Moon was being filmed because I didn't want to follow along with the on-set stuff, but I was aware of everything happening on a day-to-day basis even if I wasn't looking at the pictures. I finally gave up trying to avoid Robward's about-to-hit-the-sun, sculpted, almost-naked body (I love YouTube videos too much) but never went back to watch the 8,647,321 photos of the event that were splashed across Twilight blogs EVERYWHERE that day. Maybe when it's all said and done, the TwiPurity chicks like Cutie, Mrs. Vanquish, KG, EtomyB and I can get together for a belated "SQUEEEE!!" over the footage from that day???

Anyway, I was fine with watching the first few official snippets of film, images, and trailers that were released... But then... Something happened... It got to be too much.

When all of the trading cards and scans from the New Moon Movie Companion started showing up everywhere (along with those "back lot" photos which I assume are in a book somewhere), it hit me: I didn't want to see all of it. In fact, I didn't want to see any more of it than I'd already seen. I'd already seen too much. I was watching a video the other day that included a pic of Robward in the "Reunion" scene with full-on CGI vampire sparkle going on, and I was immediately really pissed that I'd seen it like that! It's like you want your first time to be all special with flower petals on 400 thread-count sheets with candles and soft music and romantic cuddle-time after and instead it ends up being a futon with questionable bedding and incense burning and afterwards you have to go to your shitty job at Jamesway... Wait where was I??? Oh yeah - there were just TOO MANY spoilers out there - if I looked at all of it, I'd see the whole movie - and then some! - before I even headed out to the theater on November 19th (which, I'd like to note is exactly four weeks from tonight!!! Four weeks from this exact moment, I will have seen New Moon - wooooooo!!! GAH!!!).

See you soon, STY, you dirty girl. I miss you already...

Back when JJ and I happened across Twilight, we had a few months to kill from the time when we finished the saga for the first time to the time when the movie was released. No biggie. We watched the trailer when it was posted on the official Twilight site. We watched it a LOT. Like every day. Several times a day. Rare was the day that I hadn't watched it at least once before leaving my house for the office. Usually a few times. But we were clueless to the rest of the stuff that was likely available in the Twidom, because we weren't aware that the Twidom existed. [I KNOW - we can't believe it, either!!]

I wouldn't go back for all the lemons in fanfic, but WOW there's a lot of content out there!

I ran my dilemma by our friend NeedsIntervention (who now goes by the name "InterventionReject" since there was some sort of a mix up over her first Twidom moniker) after she left a comment suggesting that she was also going to try to knock some of the slut out of her system prior to seeing New Moon:
I'm a greedy born-again virgin whore: I just want that "feeling" that I got from watching Twilight for the first time, which was on DVD by the way. (I'm a complete late blooming Twitard). I'm a drug addict in search of a new high. I want to be surprised and entertained and to ooh and ah. I want to squee and squee like I mean it. I don't want to be thinking, which I have a nasty habit of doing, in the movie theater, "Oh, I remember this from online. Oh, so that's what this scene was. Eh, I think Kristen's acting too hard. Uh, Rob looks so angsty here."

I want to be in complete Bella/Edward/Jacob Twi-La-La-Land. I don't want to be thinking about director's or actors' methods. I certainly don't want to experience deja vu in the theater. I know the movie will be slightly different from the book, so I'm really looking forward to Chris Weitz's artistic interpretation. I have a mild non-sexual crush on him; I'm in love with his brain (though his looking like Superman doesn't hurt much). If Rob were just hot and not nerdy too, I'd go for his nerdy best friend Chris Weitz. (Me lurves the nerds.)
So what do you think, folks??? Are you feeling the overdose or are you plowing ahead in your skanky twi-surfing ways right up to the happy ending on 11/19-11/20? Will you be standing on line for NM, greedily watching the latest dirt on your iPhone??? Is it too late for the likes of me and InterventionReject??? Hell, even JJ is off of her NM feed, having not watched the latest clips of the film that were recently screened in Rome - I saw Danger Magnet mulling it over tonight, too.

And then there's the bigger question: is four weeks enough time for our Twilight hymens to grow back???

If I wear this, I can probably grow back my other hymen, too! Bonus! They sell these at the grocery store now - g'head - buy a few extra pints of ice cream - who's gonna notice???

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Twitarded Meme

We like you guys. Hell, we lurv you guys. I'm sure this is no surprise. When Snarkier Than You and I started this blog we really didn't expect anyone (except the Blogger police) to come visit us.

We were wrong. Yay for being wrong! Woo hoo!

Anyhoo, in the ten months or so since we've been running Twitarded we've met (er, well, you know what I mean) so many awesome ladies (using the term loosely here...), and even the occasional man. We've watched other blogs start and flourish and it's like we're one big happy family, joined together by our love of Twilight and the desire to do unspeakable and yummy things to Robward/Jacksper/Kemmett and even Taycob (when he comes of age, natch). Hell, I don't even think I'd throw KStew out of my bed, unless she got all pouty/blinky/stammery or something.

To be totally honest, I've probably divulged more dark and dirty secrets to some of you folks than I have to people that I actually see in real life on a day to day basis.

I let that guy over there stick his big toe in my ass... and I liked it! Tee heeeee!!!

This got me thinking - do we really know you?

Of course not! Sure, I know the important things, like how you want to fuck Robward sideways until the cows come home and the fat lady sings but I have no clue who my fellow bloggers are otherwise!

Which is why we came up with the most amazing idea ever that we totally stole from a million other people.

Let's do a Meme!
So here's the deal: STY and I came up with a couple of questions for all you bloggers. If you're tagged, answer the questions and tag four other blogs. Don't forget to link back to the blog that tagged you! Let's see how many blogs we can get to participate and hopefully at the end of all this we'll know a lot more about each other. Believe it or not, we even made the questions 99% other-blog friendly! I don't think I said vagina or cock gobbling in a single question!

On your mark, get set, GO!!

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?
2) One my personal favorite games: Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast. I can't wait to read these! (Or "Eff, Marry, Kill" if you don't have my potty mouth.)**
3) What is your favorite band/type of music?
4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?
5) Do you RL life family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? A blogger?
6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.
7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter.

Annnd, here are our answers!

Okay, me first, me first!!
1) Craziest thing I've ever done? Hmmmm, there have been many. Skydiving, I guess. For legal reasons (and the fact that my mom does read the blog) I can't discuss any other craziness. My life is pretty full of Stupid, too, but here's one story - when I was in high school we were at a party drinking with a bunch of older kids. The cops came. I hid in these scraggly-ass bushes next to a pool for, oh, I don't know, a fucking HOUR while the cops searched the place. I just crouched there like a fucking jerk, waiting for the cops to stop searching the property. When they finally did, I somehow managed to scale a six foot fence so I meet up with my punk ass boyfriend on the other side. As he was helping me down, I promptly pissed my pants, not because I was scared, but because I had consumed a massive quantity of beer before the cops came. It was another shining moment in Jerkfaceville. Oh, and by the way, the cops totally knew I was there. They were just fucking with me. They knew I was there and let me suffer. Bastids.

2)Okay, here we go - Fuck = Edward (duh), Kill = Bella and Marry =... Jasper. What?! Don't kill me!! He's a mellow dude. I'm an angry chick. He'd be like prozac but I wouldn't have to pay the co-pay.

3) Favorite band is either Mogwai, Man Man or Fugazi, depending on my mood. I'm more a folky/indie person but do enjoy hardcore and punk. A lot. Oh, and I love going to GWAR shows.

4) My other favorite movie would be... Sin City. Or Suburbia, because it's just THAT bad.

5) Everyone knows I'm obssessed with Twilight and a blogger. I'm sure I'd cringe if I knew just how many RL people actually read this tripe.

6) I would estimate {grimaces} I spend almost 30 hours a week blogging/doing Twi things. Scary, I know...

7) Annnnd my random fact is - I won Most Bizarre for my senior High School superlative.

OK - STY here! My turn!

1) Um, I have to admit that I haven't done a lot of crazy stuff. Stupid stuff? All the time, but most of it not noteworthy... I am gullible. Truly. This gets me in trouble frequently. Crazy, though? When I was in college I followed the Grateful Dead for a two weeks one summer. We drove from New Jersey to Wisconsin (my hippie friends making fun of me the entire time for bringing my hairdryer on tour) and promptly got into an accident that totaled my friend's new car. We finished the rest of the tour by accepting rides from other Deadheads. It was an adventure! And maybe a little crazy...

2) Eff: Emmett (Tasha is on to something with him...). Kill: Bella (gotta get her outta the way for this next step...). Marry: Edward (Bella's out of the way & then after we're all married, there'd be lots of honeymoon action! Plus he'd make me a vampire, and I want to go to there.

3) I like different kinds of music. I love stuff from the 50s and 60s (Ella, Jobim, Getz, Sinatra, Dino, kitchy/retro tunes, jazz) and I love new stuff, too - mostly indie/alt/college-radio-charting bands - Los Camposinos, Yo La Tengo, The Hold Steady. Side note: I am the last person I know who actually still buys CDs.

4) I saw "Where the Wild Things Are" last night. It was spectacular, awesome, amazing - I loved it and can't recommend it highly enough. I would consider seeing it again in the theater; it was THAT good.

5) My friends know. Some of them follow the blog, even (I try not to think of this when I write terrible, terrible things - lol)! I try not to talk about the blog non-stop when I'm hanging with my non-Twi friends but usually fail miserably. My sister knows how obsessed I am, but nobody else in my family knows... I tried to get my mom to read Twilight but she's not interested. My MIL is, but I would die if she came here and found out what a huge pervert I am and that I openly discuss bonking the dickens out of someone other than her son. Even if her son is OK with it...

6) I'd guess I spend as much time as JJ does: twenty or thirty hours a week. I honestly would be afraid to actually time it but now I kind of want to... I think I would be shocked...

7) When I was a kid, I had Bells Palsy. For a month, half of my face was paralyzed and I had to tape my eyelid closed at night. It went away; although nobody notices but me, I still look a little lopsided sometimes (when I do the drinky half-lidded-eye thing after a couple too many cocktails on the weekend, it's waaaay more noticeable - lol!).

Okay, so here are the blogs we tagged, you lucky bitches, you. Either that or you're totally cursing us out for making you do extra work. C'mon, you knew we were assholes.

Robsten Lovers
I Love Boys Who Sparkle
We Bite Pretty Hard
Letters To Twilight

Update: And even though they usually only do news-y stuff and we though we were letting them off the hook, we're also gonna tag TwiCrack Addicts (Lorabell, have at it - we want juicy stuff!). You totally would've been on the list if we thought you'd play! : )

**Fuck, Marry, Kill Rules - Out of all the Twilight characters pick one character you want to fuck, one you would marry and one you would love to kill. Ang (Amcas) at Why Not? Twilight, RPatts & Me did an awesome version of "Do, Dump, Marry" - same thing! - a little while ago that was hysterical - check it out for inspiration and laughs!

READERS - Want to join in? Don't have a blog? Leave your comments below!! Leave comments on other readers' comments! It'll be like a great big information-comment orgy!!