Monday, October 5, 2009

Defcon 3 - An Almost Twitarded Meltdown

77%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

77%? That's it???

Something frightening happened today in Twitarded land. It wasn't our usual "almost got caught blogging by the boss" moment, and not the "fml did I just send somethin really profane to my largest client?!?" or even the "holy shit did I just hit 'publish' on that post where I jokingly put a naked picture of myself?!" Nope, it was even worse--much worse!--and it shook us to the core.

We couldn't even get on the blog. At all. And we tried e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. But we were essentially blocked from Blogger completely. No Twitarded, no TwiCrack Addict, no Latchkey Wife... Nothing! If you were on Twitter at some point this afternoon, you may be aware that Snarkier Than You and I were having some technical difficulties getting into Blogger. Naturally, when we're totally clueless as to what the hell is going on we reach out to all you folks.

And here is where it gets really strange.

All of you could get onto Twitarded. But STY and I could not.

As first, I didn't really think anything of it. I went to Twitarded but was cock-blocked by that annoying error message 'this page cannot be displayed because you're an epic failure'.

The ultimate online cock-block...

Whatevs. I didn't think too much of it. Then a half hour later I went back and got the same error. Huh.

Huh, my ass. Those tweets STY was throwing out my have seemed calm and collected to the casual observer, but trust me, we were FREAKING THE HOLY FUCK OUT!!!

I mean, seriously, the situation when from "oh twizzleshits, I can't get into Twitarded. You too?" to "OH MAH GAHD, THEY TOOK DOWN OUR SITE!!! WHERE IS THE KOOL-AID - YOU MUST DRINK THE KOOL-AID, THE END IS HERE!!!!!!" before you could say 'do your best Bella'.

STY and I immediately went through the possible reasons why we were unable to access our blog.

1) Blogger realized we are actually total twats and shut us down in the hopes of preventing us from morally bankrupting our age demographic

2) Blogger figured out that we didn't use their crappy 'adult' content warning and was displeased with ours and shut us down. I will never, ever put that fucking warning on my blog. I'm convinced that it sends IT departments emails tattling on you AND enters your IP address in a sex offender registry. Paranoid, you say? Yes I am...

3) RPattz finally stumbled across Twitarded and discovered that not only do we want to poop in his trailer, we also plan on stalking him with STY's ashes in the event of her untimely demise and had his attorneys put a temporary block on the site while they got the paperwork for the restraining orders ready. Frankly, if this was the scenario, I can't blame him. I'd be scared of us, too.

4) We're really fucking stupid and actually forgot how to use the internets.

Anyhoo, everything turned out for just ducky and thankfully STY was able to log in before I hurled myself off a moving train. But we've learned our lesson. We will be backing up all of our posts this weekend, just in case the bloggy Four Horseman come our way.

Oh yes, we will be prepared. We will not go down without a fight.

Plus, there is always Wordpress... We don't want to defect, Blogger, so don't force our hand, okay???


  1. Yay, glad everything is working again! I don't know what I would do if something happened to this site. However, I was also unable to access any Blogger sites this afternoon, so it wasn't just you! I was actually relieved when I saw your tweets, because it meant I wasn't the only one having a total panic attack. :) (No Twitarded!?! Can't breathe...must find access...)

  2. I hear a collective "phew" in the hallowed lands of Twitardia. (I'm glad you found the 'on' button).

    F Kat

  3. I blog on blogger and wordpress and I have to say wordpress is 1000000bazzilion times better than blogger. The posting tools are better and when you post a picture if you want it in the middle of the post where ever you left your cursor is where the picture will appear, where as with blogger I have to fucking go to the top of my post switch to HTML and copy the code where I want the picture to be... fucking annoying.

  4. Glad you both made it back online without popping an aneurysm.

    Did you finally figure out what the prob was? I use Firefox and came up to a problem with one of my addons... You know that question in the quiz you took that says something like, how many hours do you spend reading blogs each day... and you lie and say 1-2 hours... *grin* Well, this addon that I had helped be know WHEN there was a feed and HOW MANY... So I could fool myself into believing that lie... Now I have to face the music and admit that I spend WAY more time reading my blog feeds because I have to log into all my different readers!

    Also, I work with both WordPress and Blogger blogs... I like WordPress better, but I like WordPress on my own server.. not on WordPress servers.

  5. I'm so glad you both got it worked out. I hate when my work computer cockblocks my ability to Facebook and Tweet during the day. No doubt some nerd in IT logs my every move but he can kiss my grits. I do my job. The least they can give me is a Twitard fix a day!

  6. Hmmm, my boss had a small stick up her ass on Friday so I reacted by going on my blog sites, uh, a little less frequently today. (I refuse to admit what normal frequency is.) However the SCANT (less than 10) times I checked in were problem free, thank God! It was a Monday for Christ's sake - how does one do Mondays without Twitarded and gratuitous Rob?!

    As I read your post and felt your pain, I admit my money was on reason number 3. (Although in my heart I think he has a kickass sense of humor and has you bitches bookmarked!) 'never know!

  7. Thank god you all figured it out. If Twitarded ever went away or you lost all your posts, I would absolutely kill myself. Literally. I don't know what I'd do. I'm dizzy just from the thought of it. Don't ever EVER leave me. Ever.

  8. That sucks! So what was the reason that you couldn't log in to blogger? When my computer starts acting up and gets real slow (at work), I swear that my human resource gal somehow has a way of viewing my computer and is fucking with me and looking my internet history (which usually scares the beejesus out of me when it happens) but I'm glad that you guys worked out. No twitarded would be fucking devastating thing for me. You have no idea how many times I go on your site during the day. I use your blogroll to see who updated. Hehehe

  9. On a VERY happy note... I got my Team Twitarded pin today!!! THANK YOU!

  10. Glad everything is working again! I usually check Twitarded several times a day but didn't this afternoon. Probably it was a Blogger problem. They like to shut down periodically for no apparent reason (other than to piss off twitards like me, I guess). Enjoyed the Rob fix. Thanks!

  11. That error message is evil and should be banned. I know it pisses me off when it just shows up and won't get the hell away from me. It might not be a bad idea to have a backup at Wordpress since you can just have it copied from here to there without having to do it by hand.

  12. I hate to say it but Blogger does kinda suck ass. It's sufficient for Twilight SagaPalooza's measly 34 followers (thank you each and every one of you) but you guys have hit the big time!

    As stated in the comments of the previous post....those of us who do not have a local BFF Twitard really rely on you two to not only share our obsession but to validate it as well.

    I think it may be time for an upgrade.....and perhaps a Twitarded theme park (21 and over of course.....I'm counting on an abundance of debauchery and booze.)

  13. I will follow you wherever you go O Captains my Captains.

    So glad to hear it all worked out. I fucking freak out when one of my comments is lost in the internets so I can only imagine what you were feeling.

    JJ you answered one of my many questions by telling us why you don't have the 18 and over entry warning on your blog--I love you all the more for it. So Washington State (for whom I work) has not tracked me down and given me the boot--now I feel like I have you to thank for this.

    Just think if Rob's lawyers shut you down that totally narrows down your degrees of separation from him---gotta alway look on the bright side you know.

  14. "before you could say 'do your best Bella'."

    I gotta start use this! Hummm.... I'm road trippin' with my sis this weekend..... 8D

    But thank goodness all in well Twitardland! phew!

  15. OME, it must have been TERRIBLE!!! I couldn't log on to facebook for 36 hours one time, it was terrible. That was BEFORE my twisession, if i got barred from the twidom, I think someone might end up stabbed...

  16. Glad everything is in working order again. It would have been a sad day in the Twilight blogger world if you guys were shut down.

    BTW, the part about RPattz discovering that you wanted to poop in his trailer made me laugh out loud and snort embarrassingly...thus gaining myself another crazy look from the bf. Thanks for the posting flashback!

  17. PHEW! What would I do without my daily dose of Twitarded?? I agree - no fucking way am I putting that Over 18 stupid ass warning on my innocent blog either!!

  18. Fuck me sideways with a pinecone if there was no Twitarded I'm not quite sure what I would the streets naked's a good possibility.

    Glad you are out of panic mode.

  19. ...ok 2nd attempt.
    blogger just refreshed my comment for some reason FML.

    anyway as i was saying, i would have cried if i couldn't access our blog and my boss probably would have had to send me home bahahhaha!

    2/5 of wtforks work on ie6 and can't even view the site, BUT can post - GAH!

    but use wordress - way to go. just beware that if you try to do a whole site re-design switching servers etc.. you'll probably face more issues - but when we were just wordpress alone - it was BEAUTIFUL lmao!

  20. thank GOD it came back before you flung yourself in front of that train. i don't know what i'd do without my twitardeds!!!!

  21. I just love your posts. I am so glad that I don't have to sneak peeks at work (SAHM) but I do live in constant fear that my viewing history will come back and bite my booty say if a virus strikes and my DH takes this work provided computer in for service. YIKES! This just shows how tech-challenged I am in that I just discovered private browsing last week!

    BTW I bet RPattz does know about this site and loves you two.

  22. Freaky! Did you ever find out why exactly you were blocked?

  23. Girls, I've been in and out of the net due to work related issues, but if there's one thing I'm always counting when I do have the time is Twitarded!
    Don't ever scare me like this again!

    You are NOT going anywhere! Ok, you may switch from blogger to worldpress, you may switch tools, computers, keyboards, even write it in japonese but please, please don't leave me....!!!! *inale, exhale, inale...*

    This was not funny!

    Twitarded forever!

  24. OMG- I was following the panic on twitter yesterday and feeling your pain. However, I am too much of a technological idiot to actually tweet back. Anyway, I promise to follow you two Twitards wherever you go (I'd quote Edward at the end of the hospital scene, but that would be too cheesy - right?)

  25. @want2binForks - I would die of ebmarrassment if RPattz ever ventured onto this blog, lol.

    We don't know what happened, to be honest. This is unsurprising since we are still impressed that we can even navigate blogger.

    STY and I have gone back and forth about possibly making a switch to Wordpress but understand that the learning curve is... difficult. I almost suffered a stress induced heart attack trying to get three columns on blogger so I'm not sure we'd survive the change to Wordpress. But we still think about it...

  26. @ JJ - I totally agree... If RPattz EVER stumbled across mine, I would DIE of embarrassment too (and so would he probably!!) LOL! Is it so wrong to want to do dirty things to him? I think not...

  27. That was THE funniest frickin post I HAVE EVER READ. I created a little pissy blog thinking I was all RPatz cool but ain't got nothin on you chics. You are the funnyiest & coolest!!!

  28. Kori/ Team Switzer-JacobOctober 6, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    No Twitarded? *dies* Let's let that never happen, shall we? =D! Glad everything worked out. <3

  29. nnnneeever!!!!!!
    i would neeeever survive my office days without you girls!!!

  30. "RPattz finally stumbled across Twitarded and discovered that not only do we want to poop in his trailer".......too f'kin funny! I almost choked on my trail mix (those damn sunflower seeds)!

  31. Wait, *you guys* were freaked out because *you* couldn't see twitarded?!... since it's all about me, holy shit can you imagine the epic fail across the universe if all the TWITARDS couldn't access the blog??? Networks would crash from the flurry of txt msgs from Twitard to Twitard. SOs would stand there, mouth open, thinking "WTF?" as their Twitard, isolated and blogless, bursts into tears because her Diet Pepsi isn't cold enough. Children everywhere would be forced to eat 6 course gourmet meals since their Twitard moms would have extra hours to kill and nervous energy to burn off, agonizing over the silence in Twitardia... it's too scary. It can't happen. EVER!


Comments are our life now. Leave one!