Image from Polyvore.
It's come to my attention recently - on several occasions - that I might be missing out on... ummm..."stuff" or "life" or whatever - let's just use the umbrella category of "Things Not Related to Twilight." Apparently, things not related to Twilight (or "TNRTT" for short) no longer register in my brain. When this realization first dawned on me, I was a tad abashed. But upon closer examination, I think I am ok with it.
And by ok, I mean I don't really give a fuck.
Mr. Snarky and I were watching The Office last night [sorta spoilers ahead if you are not caught up on your Tivo watching] and towards the end there was a reference to a YouTube video that apparently went SO ridiculously viral that the entire viewing public was supposed to be in on the joke. And I didn't get it. Because apparently, everyone but me had seen it.
[Note from JJ: Holy fuck, I even saw that. I may have never seen an episode of Lost, Heros, 30 Rock, or even Seinfeld or The Simpsons, but I have seen that video.]
Fine. So What! So 27 million people have seen this video in the last two months (even JJ threw me under the bus on this one). So what if approximately 10% or so of the population of the United States have seen it - who cares??? But Mr. Snarky was aghast. He said that while he hadn't sought it out, he'd inadvertently seen it--or parts of it--twice. People had sent him links, it had come up in his travels - whatever. He was aware of it (personally, I think Mr. Snarky needs to expand his horizons).
Instead, he declared "Life is passing you by while you're busy trading inside jokes about Twilight."
Pish posh. Twilight IS life, right? Right?
I'll admit that one of the many running sorta jokes Jenny Jerkface and I share is that when someone asks us if we've heard about something or if we want to do something, our response is inevitably something along the lines of "Is there twilight in it?" or "Is it about twilight?" And we're only half-kidding.
Upon further consideration of things that I used to think were semi-important, I started to realize that I wasn't missing out on much. Maybe nothing at all, in the grand scheme of things.
Things I no longer pay attention to that I am not sorry to be "missing":
Gossip. I used to be a total Perez Hilton/tabloid whore. Now? I actually forgot that Brangelina even had twins. This makes me happy. Like it's proof that I am recovering somehow from a very dark time in my life when I could have named said twins and told you their birth order.
Bad things happening to famous people. Patrick Swayze. DJ AM (who I liked for some reason despite the fact that he dated that twat Nicole Ritchie). Farrah. John Travolta's kid.
Awful, sensationalized deaths/bad things happening to not-famous people. Or any occurrence that is sensationalized and/or disturbing. Disturbing can go either way: insane serial killers or people who kidnap kids and raise them in tents in their backyards = disturbing. The 20-something rancher dude out in Missouri who won the katrillion dollar PowerMegaBallyThingy = also disturbing [or was it Montana? I'm from Jersey! We're assholes! We don't generally pay attention to the other states!]. Because WHY WASN'T THAT ME?!
I have enough shit going on in my own life that keeps me up at night. I don't need fodder in that department, thank you. I shouldn't be reading about other people's shit, too.
I'm on Twitter. I know...stuff. Stuff that falls into the TNRTT category, even! Like when celebrities diss other celebrities at the VMAs. I follow thirty some-odd Twilight peeps and the CDC. You want swine flu stats? Bring it: I'm your gal. I listen to news on the radio in moments when I can't watch, read, or blog about Twilight. So I know other...stuff. Like who's winning Nobel prizes. I know about politics and other related things that we will never ever ever not EVER be discussing here at Twitarded. I even glance at the newspapers that get delivered to my home. I glance twice, actually. Once when I bring them in from the sidewalk so that the neighbors don't think we're still asleep, and then again when I bundle them up for recycling and bring them back out to the sidewalk (it's the newspaper circle of life). Point being, if and when REAL shit hits the fan, I don't miss it... Usually. All the rest? On some level, I'm happy to have it pass me by.
Ah, sweet, sweet Twilight bubble. Bonus: it's pretty in here!
P.S. This malady had apparently afflicted Jenny Jerkface, too... (As if that was ever in question...) I just talked to her and she's wandering around RiteAid looking for who-knows-what when she says the following: "So I'm wandering around at Twilight...[pause]...Wait...What did I just say?!? Did I just call 'RiteAid' 'Twilight'?!" Ah, that's my girl...