Thursday, November 5, 2009

Jenny Jerkface Gets Dominated... by Fan Fiction

[{{{Sigh}}} - Dear potential lurking family members. Leave. Now. Seriously. Thanks!]

Today, my lovely friends, I was dominated. Oh yes, it was quite uncomfortable and embarrassing at some moments and quite exhilarating and exciting at others. I squirmed, flushed, sighed and was very, very turned on.

Unfortunately, I was at the fucking office.

My day has been completely pwned by Master of the Universe. This is my punishment for trying to avoid spoilers - pure, utter distraction at the workplace.

And I don't mean this guy...

Maaaaaaaster of the Uniiiiiiiiii - wait, why the fuck am I wearing a loin cloth? How the fuck can I beat Skeletor in furry boots? This is bullshit.

Or this guy...

OMG, my clitoris just screamed in horror and died.


I mean this guy...well, some variation of this guy, anyway.

Or whatever kind of fantasy dude gets your rocks off...

It's all Kerri's fault. She left a lovely little comment on this post about MotU (see how lazy I am?) and I got all excited because... I had totally forgotten about that one. I mean, I started it and put it on my list, where it was promptly buried under the mountain of Twismut I've been amassing. So, thanks Kerri! And ML will thank you, too but he doesn't know that yet.

Every moment I was not working or at my desk, I had my nose buried in my blackberry. Frankly, I think this makes me look very professional and attentive. Especially when I walked into a packed elevator full of stuffy suit-types. Still reading porn. For five floors, I giggled quietly to myself as Domward gave Bella a good, hard spanking. That's right, Mr. I-think-this-pitch-is-going-to-have-them-eating-out-of-my-palm. While you were showing off your proverbial cock to your coworker, I was reading porn. Take that, my clit is bigger than your dick.

Search for porn? Yes, please. Oh, fuck, that says photos... Search of RPattz photos? Yes, please!

Yup. Domward got me good today.

He also got me thinking and I realized something. Two things, actually.

1) There is probably something seriously wrong with me for reading smut on my blackberry in an elevator full of people. This is not the first time I've done something like this, either. A few months ago I was out in Colorado with ML and his band (and holy fuck I hope they never, ever read this EVER) and I was reading smut on my blackberry. In the van. The band van. ML kept looking over at me with this strange expression. When we finally get out of the van, he pulls me aside.
"What were you reading?" he asks.
"Fanfiction." Duh.
"You were reading Twilight porn in the van?"
"ummm, yeah."
He gives me a weird look. "You were reading porn in a van with seven guys."
"Yeeeeah." I don't see the problem with this, but apparently there was one. See, something is wrong with me!
"I could tell it was porn," he tells me.
"Why?"
"You kept biting your lip and sighing."

Busted.

2) I don't picture Robert Pattinson when I'm reading Twi-smut. Hell, I don't even really picture Edward Cullen.

Zoomage, Latchkey Wife, Team 6 Pack, KintheFlo and STY had an email chat about this a little while ago, actually. We were bantering back and forth about the various stories we were reading and someone mentioned that they couldn't really see RPattz as Edward in Clipped Wings & Inked Armor.

This statement prompted both STY and I to pause and ask - do people really see Robert Pattinson or, for that matter, Kristen Stewart when they read fan fic?

This question has been tossed around between quite a few people lately, both on Skype and via email (you know who you are!) and now I'm flat-out curious:

Do you picture Robsten when you read naughty Twifiction?

I don't. It's true. For all my smexy talk about RPattz, I don't really ever picture him when I'm reading the smut [note from STY: me neither. In fact I don't picture a specific person--real or imaginary--at all. It's more...vague. Maybe my imagination is lazy, too?]. Well, with the exception of The Office, maybe. In fact, I don't even like reading the smut that is based on Robert Pattinson and not Edward Cullen.

Ummm, nooooo. I mean, you're hot. You're really, really hot. But I would squash you. Sorry. Wanna make out, anyway? (Image jacked from here)

Huh.

So, dear fan fic readers, what are your thoughts? Who do you imagine when you're reading Twilight-related smut? Twitarded minds want to know.

Oh and P.S. - I'll let you all in on a little secret. There is a writer on Twitarded who is very, very behind in her fan fic reading. I'll give you a hint: her name starts with "S" and ends with narkierthanyou...

133 comments:

  1. I'm in the same camp as STY: vague. How it is when I read most things. I have this blurry, vague idea of the character, but never a clear vision. Maybe I have a lazy imagination, too. I AM really lazy in real life, so it must translate. :-P

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  2. @Marta - Mine is kinda vague too, to be honest. I'll get snippets of people I might recognize but mostly it's just... someone. lol

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  3. I have a very clear image of a body type and the hair but i don't see a face. And it's not him in my mental picture when I am reading. It's not any particular person at all. I would be weird to see him. I currently reading The Submissive and my brain would break forceing Rpattz to be that person.

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  4. Sometimes I see Kristen and Rob, sometimes I see the Edward and Bella that are in my head from reading the Twilight series but usually I see a lost love of mine that would most definitely do the things in the Fan Fiction I have read - The Office, Clipped Wings and Inked Armor. I already think the Fan Fiction is amazing but add in a real life person and wow!

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  5. The closer the smut is to canon, the closer the Bellward in my head looks like Robsten. Like if they're in high school still, still innocent and virginal, etc. They always have some vague resemblance in my head but I have an especially hard time reconciling Rob with Domward. Kristen isn't as much of a stretch since she has perma WANT eyes and there are lots of photos of her dressed all sexy. And she's very outspoken and talks like a sailor. Even though she's younger I feel less weird picturing her in those smut roles than Rob.

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  6. Ok, I guess it depends on the fanfic. When I read Breathe Me (fragilelittlehuman) I totally picture Edward and Bella 100%. When it comes to the Office. An older Rob comes to mind, it's not clear but he sorta looks like Rob. The Bella in that story is not KStew at all for me. In CWAIA, the Bella in my head is so petite and is basically this cute little brunette, not KStew and the tattward. Awww.. He's built just like they describe him and maybe he does have Rob's face but again and older huskier version because Rob in RL is a little skinny. So without going through each and every fanfic I would say for me, it just depends on the story. It is interesting what people think of when reading this fanfics though.

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  7. Yeah, I don't really "see" anyone. But they never look like the cast of Twilight.
    Sometimes if I do "see" the character, I can't make out their faces and for some reason Edward's always REALLY tall, and Emmett kinda looks like a cartoon character :/

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  8. Hmmm...I have to say that I don't really picture Kris and Rob or Edward and Bella either. It's not really anyone in specific. I thought I was weird for it because why read Twilight fanfiction if you aren't even picturing the characters...it's like why not go and read a dirty book or something, but for some reason, Twific is what does it for me!
    I am glad to see that I am not the only one who doesn't picture Bellward or Robsten.
    Ok so while we are on the whole fanfic topic...anyone have any suggestions for some really good ones? The Office was amazing, Confessions of a Nanny is really good and I am going to check out this Clipped Wings and Inked Armor..any others??

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  9. I'm in the 'vague' group. I don't really picture anyone specific, just a body without a clear face. Some of them might have some of Rob & Kristen's characteristics, but not either of them specifically. It's the same when I read anything, not just smutty fanfic. I guess I don't form clear pictures from words?

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  10. Okay... for The Office and Edward Wallbanger, I do think of Rob. (For Wallbanger, it's pretty much him. For The Office, it's a 30-year-old, muscular version of him... how I imagine him when he grows into his body like a _real_ man.)

    For Wide Awake... not really. It was a skinnier, strung-out version of... someone. But pretty vague facial features, like y'all have said.

    My Yes, My No... yeah, pretty much Edward.

    Hydraulic Level 5... no, I don't see Rob so much. Just a hot adult man... faceless, again.

    I haven't read CW&IA. It's on my list, but I'm writing a novel right now and am having to take a hiatus on any NEW stories. I'll keep up with the ones I've started.

    As far as Bella/Kristen... no. It's always me. ;)

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  11. Damn.... if JJ and STY aren't even imagining RPattz, how can I even admit this? Oh, ok. DAMN straight I imagine Rob! *sigh*

    WV: quack - yup, that's me

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  12. I've been reading mostly the human Bella and Edward fanfic (CW&IA especially) and I find that the personalities are just so different than the Twilight books that I don't really see Edward and Bella. More of a vague impression like a lot of the others. I'll have to put Masters of the Universe on my reading list - I'm not sure what I did with all my time before I found out about fanfic!

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  13. OMG! I carry my freakin' blackberry around with me now like a fuckin' security blanket. I read fanfic everywhere. I was in the elevator with an exec from my office reading how Mobward entered his hard length into Bella's tight...well you know. I had to giggle...

    ...and then there was the time when I was in a meeting with two of my colleagues...and they were having this discussion about something I wasn't apart of... I zoomed right to the bberry... hot sexy shamwow worthy reading while Bob and Joe are talking about amortization and lease amendments. It's freakin' hilarious!

    ...and kinda creepy too.

    "my clit is bigger than your dick" HILARIOUS!!!

    I do imagine Robert Pattinson in varying ways in all the fanfic. I fucking love him.

    w/v - induse... "Edward indused Bella with his manliness..."

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  14. Wow, I totes need to get a blackberry!

    @Jessarae Def go read Clipped Wings and Inked Armor...if you haven't read it yet, read Dark Side of the Moon (EPOV of New Moon). Amazing. :-)

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  15. I usually picture a mash up in my head. Rob's hair, fuzzy & out of focus face, random body type that fits the story.

    The more bad-ass Bella is in a story, the closer to "Kristen." Because she is incredibly bad-ass IMO. the meeker, milder Bellas are usually a fuzzy, vague character in my head.

    Jasper and Alice are always Ashley and Jackson. Kellan and Nikki are never Emmett and Rosalie. I take that back... Poughkeepsie Emmett is Kellan. Peter is always Carlisle.

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  16. For me, it depends on the fanfic, and which photo shoots have come out so far. I definitely imagine this RPattz when reading the office, something like this for wide awake, and even though I never really had one for CW&IA, that changed when the sweantderpants shoot and someone did this to it.

    Simple answer, yes.

    It doesn't always start that way, but, more and more it ends up there. I just really really have a thing for RPattz.

    I'm usually Bella, or it's somewhere between KStew and me ;)

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  17. I read it at work too. Tee hee. Only no crackberry for me. Copying and pasting into my gmail, saving it as a draft, followed by a good old copy and paste into word (and making the text uber-tiny) is totally my MO. Of course, only when things are quiet. I read most of CW & IA this way :P

    Nope Rob doesn't feature in my twi-smut. Apparently my imagination is like STY's - I've got no specific pic in my mind. Although I can sometimes picture some of the other cast as the characters, it's always K-Stew free.

    p.s. I honestly see nothing wrong with reading porn in a van with 7 guys. I fail to see the problem. No really, I'm missing it. completely. Is there something wrong with me?

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  18. I hardly ever picture RPatz or KStew when reading fan fiction. I kind of revert back to a version of the Bella and Edward I pictures when reading the books....only very, very, naughty :)

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  19. Hmm - I'm in the imagining specific characters and people camp (i.e robward) I guess that's why so many people don't want to see the movies before they finish reading the books, because you often have such a clear idea in your head what a character looks like, and when you know that so & so is the "face" of that character it's hard to imagine anything else. I was quite happy to read Twilight having seen Robert Pattinsons picture plastered all over the place because I really enjoyed imagining him as Edward. I don't have a hard time imagining Robwards face/body when I read fanfiction - it kind of adds to the appeal - in fact it IS the appeal!

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  20. I stopped envisioning Robward (it was never one or the other, just a combo of both) after a few stories...especially with all the Edwards running about. Now it is some vague representation based on the personality the fanfic author has created....but they all tend to lean toward a certain type which happens to be very much like Robward. But, I have to say with the new VF photos I can match up so many of the shots to many of the fics out there.....as soon as I saw them it was like...yup that is "BB" and yup that is "Domward" (from the Sub/Dom/Training saga) for sure. The Bella's are all over the map...there are so many different personalities for her in the fics....I tend to like the stronger more empowered Bella's over the SM version of her-rarely do I see Kristen as these Bella's. Emmett/Rose and Jasper/Alice always seem to be the the same as the movie versions....same for Carlisle/Esme.

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  21. Twiporn rules. I had a 'no twiporn' rule at work and it's constantly being broken. I console myself in that I don't read it on my computer at work. I print chapters and hide them in a file and pretend like I'm NOT reading twiporn!!!(trying really hard to remember not to leave a chapter in a file)
    Really sad. Can't even read the Twilight books now because there are no F-bombs and BDSM scenes.
    Yes, my twiporn characters look like the actors.
    If you have not read "A Life Extraordinary" by LolaShoes, check it out. It was my first Fanfic and I still go back and re-read at least once a week.

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  22. Hmmm, seems the Tattward pic link didn't take, so, let's try again...

    and yes, it's sometimes a little different RPattz (taller, beefier, whatever) based on the character, but, it's him :D

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  23. I never picture Kristen...it's my imaginary skinny ass all the way (not my real-life fat one lol). CW&IA has an awesome altered photo of rob on the authors profile page so I can soooo see Rob that way.
    In Breathe Me In,I see Edward and Mitch (I was a huge Moonlight fan).
    I tried the office but hated it. I hate assholes no matter how sexy they are so I just can't go the domward route.
    I love stories that stick to the novels but expand...I made a note to seek out "Dark Side of the Moon". Any other suggestions?
    Oh, and I have a playlist of Rob singing that I listen to while I read****fanning herself and thinking of buying some shamwow knickers!

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  24. That is so fucked up that you said that! That's how it is for me too. Vague. Just a someone. I thought I was just weird. Now I know we all are. Right on.

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  25. Ok so if you feel weird reading porn in an elevator imagine how I feel reading it sitting on the couch next to my children. Yes its a little creepy I know!

    As for who I picture, it depends on the story. I am very similar to @Lori. For Wallbanger its Rob, for The Office it is an older, bigger Rob. Any story where Edward is a vampire it is always Rob. For WA, CW&IA, The Dom/The Sub/The Training it is always Hayden Christensen who is my second love.

    Also @Lori you must must must read CW&IA. It is my FAVORITE!

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  26. In re: reading porn on your BlackBerry ... I do it all the time! Unfortunately I don't work in an office, I work at a daycare (I generally try to read fluff, comedy, or non-M rated stuff while I'm at work, but if certain people update then I *have* to read!)

    As for visualizing cast members as the characters, I totally don't ... What I get is kind of a combination, maybe RPattz jaw with some other random dudes features for my Edward, but it's generally vague and the same visualizations as when I first read the books (waaaaay pre-movie).

    Also just wanted to say that you guys make me laugh! Keep up the great blogging! :)

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  27. @sharon - Me neither. Haven't been able to read the books for MONTHS.

    @sparkle - oh please give the office another shot. It's so good.

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  28. I always pic a version of Rob that fits the description, sometimes Bella is Kristen-like, but sometimes she is more like me. I only started fanfic about 2 weeks ago, but I am obsessed and bought an ipod touch, in case I am in the middle of a story and can't get to my laptop. Jasper and Alice are always the same, same with Emmett, but Rosalie usually has better hair when I picture her.

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  29. Depends on the fic for me. If they are younger and still in school then it's definitely Rob and Kristen, but stuff like stop drop & roll and the dominant and CW&IA i picture an older beefier Rob with arms like Taylor’s...

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  30. Oh and for the others:

    Carlise - always Peter
    Esme -kind of a version of Elizabeth.

    Emmett - always Kellan
    Rosalie -always Portia De Rossi
    Jasper - always a vague tall blonde. He is not my favorite.

    Alice is Alyson Hannigan(How I Met Your Mother/American Pie) with short black spikey hair.

    OK do not ask me about Rosalie and Alice. I have no idea why I picture them, they are just who I pictured while reading Twilight the first time and it stuck.

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  31. I've only read twi FFs. The first was Wide Awake and the other is The Office. I picture Rob in both of them but Bella is...........ME!

    I tried to read CW&IA. I couldn't get into it. Don't get me wrong.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE a tatted up guy. I have a couple of my own but I am definitely not into piercings. They give me the willies and not in a sparkle peen willy kind of way.

    Screw KStew (and I don't mean that literally)

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  32. Well, luckily, bookEdward is entirely my type and always has been (skinny, tall, etc.) so when I am reading any of the canon fanfic, I picture almost the Edward in my mind. With the other stuff, I picture this kind of vague but delicious version of that, similar, but not really Edward either. For me, Edward is very specific. Whenever I am reading any Twilight, be it fanfic or not, I get inclinations to picture him like Rob, but not very often. I've never pictured Bella in any readings as Kristen Stewart. The Bella in my brain looks and acts totally differently than she does in pretty much every way, maybe aside from the skin. My Bella is far curvier and more seductive for sure, and actually smiles and when she stammers and her eyes roll back in her head from the lust, it's in a sexy way, and not like she is having some epileptic fit. Great question!

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  33. twi FFs = two ffs

    Even my typos are in Twilightese!

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  34. Hmmmmm, well, I guess I will just bite the bullet and throw myself out there....I completely immagine either Edward / RPattz in the few stories I have managed to read - "The Office" definately. Unfortunately, the Clipped Wings and Inked Armor was not my fave...only because I couldn't imagine Edward/RPattz as a tatted,pierced kinda guy! What's wrong with me? LOL. And I find that type of guy quite sexy.

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  35. Ummm...I have read twiporn while meeting with the Governor. Truth.

    There was a special session of the legislature this week (can you tell I am a lobbyist??). All the other lobbyists (mainly old dudes in their 60's) were hanging out in our normal spot outside the chamber. Everyone was acting so important with their crackberries. Constantly checking thier e-mails, etc... Guess what I was doing? Hmmmm Starts with T and ends on porn.

    I have read twiporn while at the vet with my dog.

    Scariest is when I saw "The Training" updated and I started to read it. While in a church. Without a second thought. That, my friends, is rock bottom, or dedication.

    I bought a new "toy" simply because it had "Wallbanger" in the name.

    I never, ever, ever picture Stewie. Nada uno timo.

    Rob, hells ya. I picture him all the time, albiet a beefier version. I admit, sometimes I get a bit, ahem, foggy, and picture more generally. But most the time its Rob. Rob being my Domward, even Tattward. Especially my BB.

    And my hubby knows without a doubt when I'm reading twiporn (again). #1 he says I get flushed and my eyes bug out #2 apparently I yell things out loud while reading. I guess its my version of Twiterrets #3 I actually want him to touch me and I am not saying "get off me" and "put that thing away" like I normally do.

    Word verification - wooked...I am so wooked on twiporn it aint funny

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  36. OMG Portia would have made an awesome Rosalie! I just HATE the hair in the movie...ruins her looks.
    Ok, all you twied and twue fans of fan fic...educate me please.
    Lemons are sex scenes...right?
    WTF are unicorns?
    @Twiswearstoofuckingmuch - I REALLY can't go there with The Office...I just get pissed reading what a dick he is...I can't even move past his personality to get into it.
    I don't mind kinda bossy or that whole protective thing but he is just a dick in that story! But again I am not into the true dom thing....now a blindfold and a couple of scarves and Rob..yum. And don't think you are gonna fucking hit me lol.
    For some reason the biting in inked armor gets my motor humming tho.
    ****thinks I may be sharing a bit much

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  37. unicorns are orgasims. If you keep reading The Office he really isnt a dick. It is really good.

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  38. I am a FF n00b at this point... can't say virgin..that cherry's been popped... but I don't really picture Rob as the face in what I've read. To be quite honest, Rob is NOT the face I envisioned for Cannon Edward...but it works. I suppose that's why I have no trouble saying I would fuck Edward, no prob, but I stumble on the idea for Rob & its not exactly the same... Don't get my wrong...Rob gets me thinkin' and skirmin' on my seat... *smirk*... I digress... *ah hummm* Where was I? What's totes hysterical... none of my imaginary Edwards resembles my dh... and I love him a lot.

    Ok. I'm done... stepping down.

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  39. It depends on the story, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. But I was just thinking the other day, I can totally see Rob portraying James Bond in about 10 years. Does anyone have an opinion on Rob as James Bond?

    WV: scoar. I'd like to scoar some twi smut.

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  40. This post is going to be short and sweet....

    I picture Rob...and myself...I love my imagination!!!!

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  41. @Sparkle - I am not into tatts or biting, but I also was a little too turned on by the biting in CW&IA. I so want Tattward to ink & bite me!

    I may have asked hubby to pierce his peen. He said no. I will not ask him to bite me. He is a 6"4, 300+ pound ex football player. That shit would hurt.

    @Donnal14 -
    Rob has the sex appeal and swagger for James Bond but the boy is way to uncoordinated to be able to do any of the stunts and action scenes. HAve you seen him run? Not pretty.

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  42. I am completely addicted to Twismut/porn/lemons/erotica. I read it on my phone everywhere I go... school, work, doctor's office (not a good idea btw when going to the girly doctor), vet, bathroom, restaurants... well you get the hint. Seriously, I can't stop. I just discovered ff this summer - right after I discovered the books (I read them all in 4 days - I'm a freak - I know.) *sigh*

    I all depends on the fic for what my mind creates for the characters. Most of the time it's vague. I agree that the closer the fic is to the series - the more I see Rob and KStew. The rest of the cast usually remains the same.

    I haven't officially come out of the closet with my Twilight obsession to anyone, so I am glad to have found a place where I don't feel like an outcast.

    I love this blog and I have found my new home, keep up the good work JJ & STY...

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  43. it honestly depends on what type of story im reading. if its something close to canon edward or some kind of edward that in my warped mind ive decided is probably exactly like rob in real life, then i picture rob. but most of the time its a vague image with no face. just edward hair. honestly, when i read anything i rarely have a clear image of what the characters look like in my mind. its all vague and blurry and more about the emotions than the actual appearance.

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  44. It's never KStew/Bella but it's sometimes RPattz, I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes it's John Mayer. IDK. Sometimes it's Justin. Duh.

    It's ALWAYS Jacksper. ALWAYS.

    *sigh*

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  45. @bierbeck- I read it on my iPhone on the couch with the kids watching NickJr. I'm with ya on that one sister! But not if I'm nursing the baby- too many mixed messages for my body LOL

    I see Rob, always Rob.
    The Office- Rob, with a little of my DH thrown in (is that weird?)
    Submissive/Dominant/Traning- Rob
    CW&IA- Rob
    BAtB-Kinda Rob,but not completely, someone once mentioned Johhny Depp and/or Jensen Ackles, so they kinds work too
    WA was Robward, probably cuz it was my first one I read

    Strange part is, I'm not a huge Rob fan.....I mean, he looks hot when he's all clean and pretty, but dirty Rob isn't really my thing. I guess I could get down with a tatted up super cleaning oriented Rob though.....

    People usually make Jacob out to be a villain, and pansy, or an actual DOG, which is hard for me. I lean Team Jacob :-(

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  46. I have to say that now that I have found fanfic- CW&IA in particular- I almost cant even get myself to read the books and I am a little less excited for the movie than I was a few months ago..BTP..Before TwiPorn.

    I am in the same group with a lot of people. I dont see particular faces unless I really think about it. Im mostly picturing the surroundings or what they are wearing or just the story in general. This is true for most books I read though too.

    Either way, Ive only gotten hooked on a few stories or authors, and am always looking for more. I get more upset when one of my fanfic stories ends, than I do with anything else!

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  47. I could pretty much cut and paste what @Honolulu Girl wrote because, well, I swear she gets inside my head sometimes.

    So to recap, if it is canon then I picture Rob and a less open-mouthed slightly different Kristen. If it is all human then I picture Rob in various different body types (in CWAIA he is more toned and muscular, in EP he is more like the real Rob) and ages and a more vague Bella that is not really Kristen.

    I printed out fanfic for my recent plane ride and read it with about 100+ men around me--I was laughing to myself thinking the two guys in my row probably thought I was reading some work document (my print outs were safely stored in a very work-like file folder) when I was actually reading about waxed kitties and hot highly orgasmic sex. Heh-heh.

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  48. JJ- I sent our conversation to you..just got home from seeing "this is it"..so I'm late to this partee! I kept it only because i'm lazy and don't delete much. enuf @my slob ways.
    OK - I usually picture Rob & Kristen in FFs..Usually a lil more mature nicer Kstew..easily. I couldn't see Rob in CW&IA - i see Tommy Lee's body but no real face - just Rob hair. I usually butch Rob up a lil in my mind for the others.LOL...(never do i imagine the rob lying on that fur rug unless I'm reading slash hahah).
    I must check out Masters..I'm reading "Bare" right now which i like very much! I read "trust in advertising" recently - but I kept waiting for a lil lemon..nothing..zilcho..so i was a bit disappointed. specially since it had been rec'd so much.
    Good news ..Our EP author kharizzmatik has been writing ..wow. she amazes me ..since she's been through so much these past few weeks. also CWIA will have a chappie out on sunday! ( yeah - I'm alil FF obsessed eh?).
    FF Love 2 ALL!

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  49. So - I know you'll all groan and roll your eyes at this, but my sexy version of Edward is a vampire version of my hubby - and I've been married for over 12 years! No shit. I'm 32 btw.

    He embodies sexiness to me, and so that's why I was so pissed that jaw-porn made me look at Rob that way. :)

    I was fine just thinking he was only attractive as Edward - HA! That toothpaste has been squeezed out of the tube, and we all know how hard it is to try and get that back in.

    I have to admit too that the only sexy Edward I've read about is in JJ's FF. But a tatted up version of Edward is PERFECT! My hubby is tatted a bit and pierced in pretty normal places. Well - if piercing is ever considered normal.

    So someone has to make a list for us almost-twiporn-virgins. Please.

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  50. Oh yeah. Here are the other characters I picture in FF:

    Bella: Never KStew - never has been, usually my original Bella from the books but changed subtly and heavily mixed with my eighteen year old body.

    Jacob: Never Taycob. Again my book version.

    Carlisle: Never see a face and never Peter Facinelli.

    Rosalie: Now, I like the wig from NM, so I usually picture Nikki Reed from NM.

    Alice: Hmm. A mix of my book version and Ashley Greene.

    Emmett: Always Kellan Lutz, only because he perfectly fit my book Emmett.

    Jasper: Never Jackson, usually it's fuzzy.

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  51. I have been thinking about this nonstop! That's soo weird that you posted this now1 Anyway..I'm new to FanFic, but feel like I'm catching up!
    My first read was WA - and it was pretty much Edward.
    CW&IA was next and GOD I love that, keep checking constantly for Chap 29, anyway, he's more of a mix b/w Edward and Jace (as pictured in my head) from the Mortal Insturments series - I guess b/c he was "marked", but oh-so hot.
    Then I read Seducing Ms Swan - (good, but my least fave so far), and it was Edward.
    But..I just finished The Office..and OME..I don't even know who he is, looks similar to Edward but bigger/older. *sigh* I was so frickin hooked on that story, that when I had to go to class, I printed out two chapters and read them during class and on break! I felt like such a mental case having to do that, but you gotta do what you gotta do! :D

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  52. For me it depends on the fic. I almost always picture Rob as Edward tho cause that man owns my vagina apparently. But I have a harder time picturing kristen as bella. I don't read the robert/kristen smut and stick to the edward/bella stories. I dunno why, but whatever, I don't claim to understand myself. My imagination gets even more off track when it comes to the other characters. i NEVER picture nikki reed as rosalie... never liked her, she seems like a total cunt biscuit. But I find in most stories I'm on the vague side of things too when it comes to imagining the characters... BUT when i have my moments later.. that's when Robert's face gets plastered on the Edward-of-the-day :)

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  53. Ummm, sorry JJ. I can't not think of Robward cuz' He's pretty much what started this clusterfuck which I call my life right now. I agree with many others that it depends which FF I'm reading, as to which morphed personality Precious becomes...I'm currently enjoying 'A Life Extraordinary'. LUVS to Lolashoes!! I am superfucktastafragilific juiced that tby789 finally updated 'The Office'. Rob is my BB...best story ever. Next on my list is def CW/IA, I mean, Fuckingbloodyhell I've heard enough hype about that shit that it better be lipsmacking good! Luv ya ladies!
    vw: truss. As in: lay back...truss me, you're gonna like this...

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  54. Oh and I've been printing out chapters of FF after everyone leaves at work..and then head to the gym and get on the stairmaster for like 45 minutes (usually about 40 pages yes - i said 40)..but without it - i can only last like 15 on that fucking machine.
    Needless to say I'm getting acquainted with lots of new fics.
    Sometimes I read naught fics at coffee shops with wifi..and I imagine every other laptoper around me reading fic porn too. :D

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  55. Even though I think Nikki was an awful choice for Rosalie, I'll still picture her in a fic. Especially if the fic Rosalie is a total bitch. Nikki looks like she's smelling someone's farts all through Twilight and that works for me. Or maybe I just don't care enough about Rosalie to put forth the effort to think of someone better.

    Now Jasper - if there's good/important Jasper in a fic (The Arrangement, Just One Day, and Bringing Up Baby come to mind) I picture Jackson. That man is so damn hot, but once he puts on his Jasper face he's a total turn off. It's a combination of the hair and omg-my-hemorrhoids expression. I know Jasper has a hard time around all that tasty blood, but jeez. I hope he smooths that out by Eclipse.

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  56. Nope...I even have a hard time picturing Rob in the one or two FFs that feature him!

    I always have the mental image of Edward and Bella when I first read the books and had no idea who RP and KS were.

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  57. Also, I don't know how you guys are reading smut around others, let alone in public. My laughing/choking/heavy breathing is wayyyyyyyyyyyy too obvious. And when I'm really into what I'm reading I start saying stuff out loud. Not necessarily reading dialogue but I'm sure I look/sound like a schizophrenic or something.

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  58. Someone mentioned this earlier...and I had the thought earlier in the week...
    STY and JJ I know you gals work way hard on this site but we really need a forum :)
    A random place for those of us not committed enough to actually blog to chatter about random stuff.
    I know we have face book but that shit shows up on my profile page and the things I would want to talk about here well er would curl the hair of some of my pals lol
    Going back to the earlier mention:
    For those of you that use abbreviations of FF please spell it out for us newbies so we know what to look for.
    If not a forum then maybe a FF review corner to direct those of us that spend way too much time wading thru the crap to get to the good stuff.
    Kisses and Robmuffins to all!

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  59. I can't believe nobody likes RL Rob fics! I have to admit, I've only read I Love LA, but I loved it! Maybe it was due to the fact that he falls in love with a woman in her thirties? LOL, I don't know ;o).

    For The Office I also pictured GQ Rob - then the VF pics came out and I've added them to my list ;o). And maybe I'm strange, because when I watch Twilight, I don't actually see Rob in Edward, only the one tiny part where he laughs when he says "Why don't you put your seatbelt on?", other than that, I just can't blend the two together at all.

    So I think I don;t have an answer, mine for ILLA it was def Rob, the Office GQ Rob, but more often than not it's some mash up between my imagination and Edward/Rob. Don't you love definite answers? ;o)

    Oh, and Jacob is always a mix between Taylor and my own bigger, *ahem* older version lol.

    @Abigail, shameless plug here, but check my Jake out, I've tried to make him loveable, cos I heart Jake too :o) NS&SS

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  60. @Sparkle, the forum is a fab idea. I've been feeling a bit guilty this week about having conversations with people in the comments box, I'm not sure if JJ & STY mind this but I did feel a bit awkward in case they did (sorry ladies if it's a faux pas!). Oh shit, I'm doing it again...

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  61. Edward is ALWAYS Rob, it depends on the fanfic though, which rob it is, i mean hair and facial hair wise, that's the only way that he changes. Bella is usually fuzzy, she doesn't really have a face. If its a really good fanfic, i might pop myself in there. Everyone else is pretty much movie people, except Rosalie and Jasper, they look different in my head.

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  62. Edward and Bella in my mind are never Rob and Kristen. I guess I'm one of those with the vague, fuzzy faces. Honestly, I have a hard time even remembering what they look like if I'm not watching the movie or seeing their (Rob's) faces plastered on my computer screen. I may be alone in that.

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  63. I totally DO picture RPattz and KStew. Sometimes it is a bit more vague in my imagination when the stories are totally out there, but for the most part...it's them.

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  64. Thank you Krys!! (and all others who see Rob's Edward)

    Dude the point of fanfic is to picture that cutie in these hawt roles. I'm Team Jacob though, so I guess I needed the extra boost to be more Robward.

    But alright, since it's 1) fantasy 2) from 1st person POV anyway, it does blur a bit.

    However, the fanvids and manips help (that one about the Office - omfg!!!)

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  65. In only read two fanfics involving Edward, and am writing one. For The Office I picture, like someone said, an older version of Robward, even though I never really see his face.

    I had a hard time picturing Edward and Bella even in My Yes, My No, even though the characters are superbly done, but it's just something that neither of them did in Stephenie Meyer's books.

    Now, I totally a had an image of a bit older version of Jake, especially his body, yummy (okay, am I just crushing on a 17 yr old? *gasp) in Stan's Natural Satellites and Shooting Stars.

    As for Bella, I never picture KStew. Ever. She's just some random girl.

    @Sparkle - Edward is not a dick in The Office, nor is he a dominator. If you had continued to read you would've seen that he's basically a confused, but lovable and incredibly sexy individual.

    @Stan - I feel that we need a forum, too. And don't feel bad for chatting, cause you were chatting with me, and have helped me soooo much. ;D

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  66. Sometimes I try to picture RPattz and KStew while I am reading but I can never get a complete picture of them. I can't really identify who I think of while I read fan fic. I am more focused on their body and not their face usually lol

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  67. **Pictures JJ in elevator full of peeps reading Twiporn** Highlight of my day! Lol! Wow, you have it bad! But still, it's ALL good. Something THAT satisfying can't be wrong...right?!

    I do tend to picture B&E as K&R. Sometimes I picture Bella a little differently **cough(as me)cough**, but most of the time, she's the Stew.

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  68. I have never read any fanfic-I'm a freakin fanfic virgin haha. Maybe I ought to try it. I think if I were then I definately would not be imagining Bella with Mr Perfect Rob/Ed it would be me, me, Me, Me, ME, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE arrrgh sorry carried away on tide of perfect Topaz. I need to go back to work, my Robsession is getting worse. But YAY New Moon soon, YAY, Rob shortless, YAY look at that bod, um you know that V, you know from the hips down, arghhhh, here I go again. I think my imagination is way better for me than fanfic, may be I should try writing some, maybe. Um I don't own a blackberry, I've only just got twitter working for me, maybe I'm more like Bella's mom in that respect, maybe I'm just Twitarded hahaha

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  69. Hmmm typing one handed not good, I meant YAY Rob shirtless, shortless would be mosre excellent than I can imagine, a freudian slip perhaps hehe, ooooo Rob shortless, sigh

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  70. Arrgh curse this typing impaired hand of mine, thats it I'm going back to the quacks maybe he can inject me with something, chortle, maybe it will be Edwards dad doing the injecting. Reality check, my doc isn't that good looking, anyway time to go assess the damage of pulled tendons

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  71. Oh yeah, forgot to say that I too read fanfic at work, except that this time, it's so fucking awesome being in Serbia, cause none of my coworkers speak English, buahahaha.

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  72. Well, you know what i've never really thought about who i picture.. Should i be concerned that i don't even pay attention to my own fantasies? How disinterested can one be in your own life?! Sheeez.

    I need sympathy ladies. I'm dying of Flu (ok bit of a sore throat tbh) with a spiderman-clad toddler who i am too ill to stop accessing the chocolate so she's bouncing off the walls.

    have you seen the new 'BANNED NEW MOON' Trailer? Which is actually the g-force tedward mock new moon thing. Quite funny. shameless plug here: http://twipnotized.blogspot.com (with linky to my favourite gals of course xx)

    You know what, now i think about it i think it's Rob when i'm reading fanfic. Always Rob and Kristen. I'm beginning to think my Kriscrush is actually bigger than my Rob one. Ahhh milky white thighs...

    *slinks back into the murk*

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  73. The fact that the caracters are based in specific persons gives me the general guide lines of how they look: pouty lips, bronze hair for Edward, wavy brown hair, full lips for Bella, and so on, but I tend to adapt the image to the caracter in the story.

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  74. P.S. I do need a blackberry/iPhone/HTC/techy-phony-something because I have no privacy (except during breaks) at work to read and it really sucks! And I usually miss all the good stuff.

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  75. When I read any fan fiction where Edward is in high school, I for some reason can picture Rob. If he's older, I don't picture Rob as a whole, but maybe bits and pieces of him. His eyes, his hair, his jaw... but it's usually not the whole him. I rarely picture KStew as Bella.

    And I'm not ashamed to admit... I'm a fan of the RPattz-based fics and mostly because I DO get to picture the whole Rob as the character. Although most times I don't agree with the way they write his personality. But I do like the fact that he's almost always given a big cock! LOL!

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  76. Anyone want to guess why I had 4 hours of sleep last night? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

    Yeah - I read MotU in one fell swoop. Ooops.

    Need....espresso...

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  77. LMAO @twisweartoofuckingmuch!!

    I rarely picture KStew in any part of Bella in stories - maybe pieces of her here and there, like the hair or the lip biting. It's always a combination of RPattz/Edward but in the body defination of the story - I can't help it!!

    All the other characters are always the same - I just can't seem to replace those in my brain.

    I am HORRIBLY addicted to fanfiction - always looking for new ones to read - I think JJ and STY should have one link to all the stories they/us recommend to each other so we all can look at it and then give each other our opinions!

    I’m going BlackBerry shopping TODAY!!

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  78. Wow - how interesting: I never would have imagined so many people *didn't* imagine Robward when reading twiporn...for me it makes it a millions times more erotic.

    I always imagine a tweaked physical variation of Robward: older, more heavy-set for CWIA, or if it's a Geekward I'll always have Rob as Daniel Gale in BMH (but without the rainbow jumper). A skinnier, strung-out sullen robward for Wide Awake, and GQ Rob but slightly older for The Office.

    The only time I imagined something different was when I read a fic with a Southern accented, bad-ass macho Edward -- I couldn't imagine anyone else but Sawyer from Lost.

    Bella's usually pretty fuzzy, lol.

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  79. Sometimes Rob. Never Kristen. Mostly just vague images of grabbing, biting, thrusting...oh, hell. I gotta go.

    That picture of Rob up there? Words don't suffice. That is effing hilarious.

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  80. The Office = Rob
    CWAIA = No where near Rob (I see Carey Hart)
    Sub/Dom = A kinda Rob

    As for Kstew, when the author talks about lip bitting (esp in CWAIA) I can't help but see her bitting her lip in the Bio class scene in Twilight. I would never invision her if it weren't for the mannerism that she did in the movie!

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  81. I'm the same way. I don't picture Rob or KStewpid as either character. MY Edward in my head is WAY hotter than any man alive.

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  82. I don't picture Robert or Kristen when I'm reading Twi-ff, I can't. I don't find either one of them attractive when they are left to their own devices. Now when they get all gussied up by their stylist I can see them as yummo but that doesn't play a role in my image in ff. It's vague, the language gets more me much more than whatever the image could ever.

    Writing of words - I'm lazy and there like 80+ comments on here, so it may have been mentioned, but what is the deal with "15 Steps" Ms. JJ - I adore the story, love the playlist. You make me look cool to my music snob friends when they see the songs from the story come up on my iPhone.

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  83. I totally agree with Crest370. I can picture Rob in a few, but I do picture a more Carey Hart type or maybe Travis Pastrana. I CAN NOT picture Kstew in any of the stories. I just can't do it.

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  84. I am all for the forum idea for Twitarded!

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  85. i might should be worried that i DO picture rob and kristen...now, depending on the fanfic, their body types will change a bit. like some rock hard abs or bigger breasts...i think i'll stop now...

    i will say this, it's like picturing a kristen or rob that can actually act...yeah, i said it.

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  86. My first experience with Twilight was the actual movie, so by default, I tend to picture the actors when I read or write. With Bella, I always pictured a young Stephenie Meyer, esp with her description of Bella with a heart-face, mahogany hair, pale skin, etc. I also tend to picture someone closer to Henry Cavill for Edward -- not as thin, much more muscular.

    You think reading fanfiction in public is bad? Try WRITING it in public. I have spent five straight hours writing lemons (making out with Edward). It's so addictive getting Edward to do EXACTLY what you want him to... Rawr...

    There is an author on fanfiction[dot]net (screen name "Twilight Enabler") who has an extensive list of the best Twilight fanfiction out there. If you look closely you'll see my fanfic there too called "I Don't Exist." *Squee*

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  87. Is anyone RECORDING fanfic for MPplayer downloads? Now THAT would be convenient!

    I just don't have enough time to read all of it...

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  88. Rob's Bitch, FFFW have audio fics on :o)

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  89. Holy crow there are a lot of comments! LOL!

    I find it interesting that a lot of us have the faceless/vague image when we read this shit. I wonder if that's why women seem to prefer written smut while men prefer visual? Damn,I should have been a psychologist instead of a slacker. I'd like to know this. It's probably out there on the internet somewhere but I'm too lazy to look it up. At least I'm good at being a slacker.


    Squee!! I'm glad a few of you like my version of Edward. That makes me happy. And on a side note - I will get the next chapter to you early next week. Sorry, Pantygate spanked me and I didn't have time to work on it.

    @Rachel1042 - writing smut in public can be very uncomfortable. I tend to utilize my lunch break at work for my smut writing and... well, let's put it this way - if the lemons don't make me squirm, I keep writing them until they do.

    As for the forum - we would love to get a forum up for all of you. Someday. Maybe soon? We hope? When we figure out how the hell to do it. And please feel free to use the chatbox to converse with each other - we love when you guys interact.

    We will try to figure something out. Promise.

    @TJB - Thank you! I'm glad you like the playlist. I spend a disgusting amount of time listening to music and it helps that ML is addicted to music blogs and stuff. Plus, he's in a band so I get the opportunity to listen to band that I otherwise wouldn't be able to hear.

    Right now, I'm ADDICTED to Man Man. You should check them out. It's crazy and awesome. :)

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  90. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  91. The star of my Twiporn fests is most definitely Rob, because he is the ultimate package (insert your own smutty comment here). I'm glad to read that I'm not the only one who is sneaking in fanfic anywhere she can get it, although it did feel a little weird to be reading it at a 7 year old's birthday party. Did I stop? Hell no. Thanks for all for the fic recs!

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  92. Hi All,

    This is my first post ( awwwwww…) although I have been following the blog for months! Shame on me… I have been enjoying all the shenanigans from a distance and enjoying it all – as STY said its like I found “MY PEOPLE”! and its so great!

    What started as what some may consider as an “unhealthy level” of interest in all things twilight, has now given way into a full blown obsession of it all! And thank goodness there are so many more “mature” ladies that are part of this sisterhood….. You are all fab!

    JJ & STY – You ladies rock!! – I love this blog, and always gives me a place to go and “hang” when work is driving me up the walls! And is usually where I start my daily rounds in Twidom!

    Anyhow to my actualy point.... about FF – I must say that most of the time I do imagine E&R, not so much K-Stew, although she is now the face of Bella in the films, the picture I formed in my mind when I read the books, and read the FF is very kind of a hazy version of her, her attitude, but not her physic so much, more so what I imagined Bella to look like in the book, and a little of me of course! Always looking for FF recommendations – so please pass them on!

    I can’t tell you how excited I am about New Moon – so much so, that when coming home in a taxi the other night I saw that the posters had been put up on a huge billboard and I got all happy and couldn’t get the silly smile off my face!!! Thank god it was dark and I was in the back of the taxi! Bring on the 20th! Woo Hooo Hooo….!!


    And I put a vote in for a forum too!

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  93. I hardly ever imagine Rob as Edward in my head. One of the first things is -- Edward is supposed to have, like, coppery colored hair! And I don't think I would ever categorize Rob's hair color as coppery. Not even in Twilight. It's just brown. (Don't get me wrong, he is a pretty pretty boy and I like looking at pictures of him way too much.)

    But I also NEVER picture Kristen as Bella. Just can't. Kristen has a petulatnt type of attitude that relays into her face that is really un-Bella-like for me.

    As many said, it depends on the fic. For example, CWAIA Edward is a little tougher (as he has gone through a lot in his life) and Just One of the Guys Edward (also known as Pinkieward) is a little more on the preppy side.

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  94. OMG - totally love (Molly) Twinatic's pic of Tattward. DUDE... that is TOTALLY what i'm going to picture now... loving that story right now. Tattooed guys are so hot - and tattooed Rob? F me. That's my dream-man.

    For the most part, I do envision some variation of Rob and/or Edward. For WA, he was skinnier and more goth.... and for The Office, he was all supah business like. But overall, yeah, I see some version of him. And the girl is usually some version of KStew too... I wish I could say I played the girl part in my mind, but I'd be lying unfortunately. I do play that role in my DREAMS, but that's a different story all together...

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  95. A little late to this party, but anyway... The movie was already cast when I read the books. While I didn't specifically picture the actors, I didn't have anyone else in mind as I was introduced to the characters. Robward definitely stars in the few fanfics I've read. (Thought that was kinda the point.)Images evolve a little as each character takes on looks and mannerisms, but the basics are there. Kstew doesn't get anywhere near my fantasies. lol. Can't bring myself to read Rob/Kris fanfic. I guess if I'm gonna picture him with anyone, it's gotta be me. :D If I still worked, I would be way too uncomfortable to read fanfic there. In fact, I probably wouldn't even read The Office at home, because I'd never get through another meeting. I'd glance down at the conference room table and start blushing at the images I wouldn't be able to keep outta my head. I'd try to look away, only to gaze out of the window and...oh no...up against the window....argh...I'd rush out the door claiming to need a break, only to be confronted by the elevator doors...no, no, too many fanfics include elevator scenes. As I make my escape down the stairwell instead, I suddenly remember what that Beautiful Bastard did in the stairwell...just as the hot intern from accounting comes walking up from the floor below. Egads, I've got "hot and bothered" written all over my face. He's gonna think I'm flirting with him...meh..Yeah, I could never do fanfic at work. I read safely at home, where my husband is the only one around to attack.

    Fkat

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  96. @Stan - wow, I went to FFFW and became very overwhelmed! I can't believe the fanfic underworld that exists. Please hold me...

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  97. Again, when I thought I was alone on my insane and deviant behavior you guys show me that even though I may be insane and deviant I am not alone!

    For some reason when I read Wide Awake I kept picturing Jacksper instead of Rob. I guess thats because WA Edward had too much of a dirty mouth to resemble Edward or Rob, now Jacksper looks like he can get dirty. And I like him for that :-)

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  98. Even when I read the Twilight books I don't picture Rob... KStew comes close to the picture I had of physical Bella, but I don't picture Bella or KStew when I read fanfic. The images I have when I read fanfic are more mature versions, maybe because I'm not 19, or 23 for that matter.

    I'll have to follow w/ STY with saying that my mental pictures are vague at best. My favorite vague image HAS to be CW&IA. I love the EP story, but it makes me a bit weird that I'm getting hot over some 17 years olds getting it on.

    Work w/ me fanfic writers, at least make your characters 21 hahaha.

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  99. JJ, you made my day! You actually read my mindless comment about Motu! LOL!

    I totally do everything within my power to picture Rob Pattinson while reading twi-smut. That man gets me off like no other. Cant quite explain it myself, but I've never felt so drawn to fingers like I do Robs...*shivers*

    And now, when I bite my fucking lip, I think of Domward hissing to a submissive Bella, "Stop biting your lip...I want to do that."

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  100. @Stan & @Rob'sBitch (god How I love the sound of that )....What is FFFW? and link please? (cause i just know I'll like it)

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  101. @JJ - I would say that 98% of the fanfic I read is at work. At my desk.

    I have a co-worker that never fails to walk by and get a bug in his butt to see what I'm up to, and I LOVE the shock value when I tell him **stage whisper** IT'S PORN. HAHAHA, did I mention he works in HR?? I love my freaking job sometimes.

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  102. Do I picture Rob when I read Fan Fic? Hmmmm....his hair I do...always his hair. *sigh*

    In I Love L.A. it's Rob all the way and I pictured a *clears throat* smaller and more toned version of myself for Grace. (BTW, thank you Stan for telling me to read this!)

    In CW&IA - an older/beefier Rob...his hair anyway.

    Edward Wallbanger...yep, it's Rob.

    Poughkeepsie - not Rob at all and not Edward, either. My own version of some hunka hunka sex hair.

    15 Step - is always Edward from the movie.

    Mr. Horrible - You know the dude who played Wyatt (is that the right name?) in Weird Science...him. And Bella is Jenny Jerkface, not kidding.

    Letters to Gramercy - a cross between Rob and George Clooney.

    The Canvas - too soon, I don't have a clear picture of him yet. But this was an awesome first chapter!! Speaking of which...

    @ Jelena - if you haven't yet, email me...my addy is on my profile!

    @ Rob's Bitch - Now don't get too handsy...that's my Stan. *snort* Fanfic underworld is right, too bad I have to surface every now and then...

    @ Desiree - Right on with the insane and deviant behavior!!

    Crap, now see what you've done? You've taken away precious *snicker* Fan Fic reading time!! Oh well, it was time well spent anyway!

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  103. @KinTheFlo, it's
    Freedom Fan Fiction Writers

    :o)

    VW - armast - 'I've armast a large collection of Rob pics on my computer' ;o)

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  104. @TwiWeasel *gasp*! I had no idea you had a possessive streak. Do you feel protective of me? ;o)

    PMSL

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  105. I only wish I could see RPattz and/or KStew when reading FF! *sigh* Alas, it very rarely happens and I'm stuck in Vague Land too. I do feel their chemistry translates though.

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  106. I'm right there with you JJ. I read twismut in class all day, everyday! I get very, very distracted. It's no wonder my grades suck this semester and I already unofficially withdrew (aka a big fat F) from one class. I'm actually at work right now and read the blog via my iPhone. Sigh ... Hi, my name's Amy and I'm an addict.

    But to answer your question, I don't picture Robsten while reading naughty naughty fanfic. In The Office, I did picture Rob (GQ Rob specifically) but for Bella, I pictured some seriously sexaaay Victorias Secret model. Biel's video for The Office on YouTube is exactly what I picture - the beginning clips of the brunette in lingerie, I mean. Same goes for The Submissive/The Dominant. I need to dive into Master of the Universe asap!! Thanks for the heads up!

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  107. I read it on the bus. But I got one of those screen protectors that keeps people from seeing it. I get so into it I've missed my stop. More than once.

    Mostly I'm a non-picturer, but I have a really strong visual of E in HL5 as a young Tony Head. IKR? Collision of the V worlds.

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  108. There are a few stories where I can see RPattz in the role. Not many. Usually it starts out kinda lookin like him, and then changes till I think it matches the story.

    Theres no way in hell RPattz could pull off CWIA Edward.

    I don't ever picture KStew when reading. Mostly cause I don't like KStew. She gets on my damn nerves. I don't even like Bella. Its a rare day that i find a fanfic where I like Bella.

    And thanks SOO much JJ...cause now I have ANOTHER story to add to my never ending list of stories to read. How will I survive ;)

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  109. For me it depends on the story. If it is a vamp story, most of the time I picture Rob. When it comes to AH, I picture him in some but not others. Weird?! The really hardcore ones I just havemy fantasy man fill in. Not sure who that is but he is hot in my mind!!! I never, EVER picture Kristen as Bella in these stories for some reason! MOtU is awesome! Glad you are reading it.

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  110. The only fanfic that I read where I pictured Rob and Kristen was Wide Awake (and to be honest, my Bella in that story was a lot smaller and more delicate than Kristen).
    Everything else I've read, the people in my head were sort of vague mashups of people I know, Robsten and my imagination.
    And I can't seem to stop reading fanfic. I just got into it not too long ago, but there's so much out there and whenever I finish something I find something else or I read a great recommendation. Gah! I used to read books and literature all the time, now all I'm reading is Twismut!

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  111. Giggles, all of you are so funny. I am still a fan fiction virgin, and I've got 8 more days before my big work deadline is met. At that point the gloves (and panties) are coming off and I shall be deflowered! Even when I read Twilight now, I don't picture Rob (although he is creeping into my mind more and more).

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  112. Fanfiction will get me fired soon! And how in the hell will I explain that to the Mister? I have a small window open on my screen that has whichever flavor of the day on it while I am trying to do my work. The funny thing is that I am an Executive Assistant and reading the Office or Creature of Habit or countless other Office scenario fics really gets my lady bits tingling. Fortunately, there are no Beautiful Bastard's around here so I don't jump anyone with any inappropriate office behavior. I just wait until I'm home & the kiddies go off to bed and pounce on the Mister.

    Anywho- here are some of my thoughts on who I picture:

    @jbugnr - I totes agree! I start off picturing Robert Pattinson (or Edward)in most of the stories and then they just slowly turn into some vague person that fits the story. Not matter what though - it's always Roberts hands, hair, jaw, and lips.

    I guess I do picture KStew and Bella for most Bella Fics. I want to smack her a lot, but I still picture her. The rest of the people are all the same.

    I just got done with Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel. Lurved it!
    Gotta run to catch the latest update of CW&IA.

    P.S. Please come up with a chat room for Twitards!!!! Not only do JJ and STY crack me up, but so many more of you do to. Would love to chat with everyone all at once. (Is that even possible?)

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  113. @ISeeTwiPeople - Good idea! I vote for chat!

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  114. I'm an FF writer and I'm not always able to imagine Robward in my story.

    Though when I write my UST or my lemon scenes I'm DEFINITELY imagining him. *Drool* those scenes are the best to write!

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  115. @TwiWeasel, don't worry I'll email you. My second chapter is still a mess, but I should tidy it up in the next few days. Once again, don't worry.

    @JJ - I didn't know you wrote fanfic. Give us a link.

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  116. @Stan & TwiWeasel - Hey, now. I don't want to get in between any girl love - unless Rob is in there somewhere.

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  117. Argh! Work sucks! I've said it before and will repeat it several times again!

    I've been reading your comments (I'm half through them) and I got struck by guilt. I think I need to apologize to JJ and STY for all the rambling I tend to make and the personal messages... Sorry girls. But I do love this blog+comments!

    The forum idea seems great.
    I'm gonna google exactly how a forum works because with all the trouble I'm having with twitter (I ahven't touched Facebook... I'm scared of it!) I'm sure I'll fumble around the forum.

    Thanks for bearing with me.

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  118. @cuddlebug I'm surprised, I totally picture Robward when I read "Lingering in Meyer" whether it's citrusy or not! **hugs**

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  119. @ TwiWeasel - I love your picture!!

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  120. I have my own personal Edward who's been with me since I first read Twilight, and even Rob can't compare. I love Rob, but mmm, fantasy Edward... Anyway, it's my personal Edward who usually stars in my Twismut reading. Except for BB, he's kind of a combo of my Edward and Rob.

    KStew who? I totally agree with whoever (I am waaay too lazy to go back and check who it was) said that they picture a younger Stephenie Meyer, cos I do too.
    Rosalie always looks like one of the blonde Pussycat Dolls that I can't tell apart. I'm not a fan, but they are hot. Portia de Rossi is a good choice too.

    @TwiWeasel: Next time Muse are touring the US, you NEED to go see them. They. Were. AWESOME! I'm knackered but I'm still up writing this feckin post because I'm still psyched even though the concert ended five hours ago. WOOOOOOOOO!!!
    ps Love your new avatar! :D

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  121. Calling all Twi-Smut buffs!!!

    As a twi-porn virgin, with the exception of the first seven chapters of JJ's 15 Step, what is the best one for me to start with? Or one I can't miss?

    OH - SQUEE - Just bought my NM tickets for the 22nd on a 50 ft. screen. Oh yeah - all that Rob and jailbait.

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  122. @starlitviolets-- Wide Awake is a great one to start with. It is awesome. I also just recommended Let Your Light Shine and its sequel A Life Extraordinary by Lolashoes to a friend who was just starting out in FF. WA is all human where the other follows Twilight very closely but with lots of good lemons!

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  123. @StarViolets. Yep as Bierbeck says, Wide Awake is amaaaazing. it's the one that got me addicted to twific in the first place.

    If you wanted canon with lemons, then yes, again I agree Let Your Light Shine is awesome, but The List gets 5 shamwow knickers out of 5 as well (note JJ and Snarky I am not saying the 'p' word - let's bring the very british 'knickers' back, as it is, after all the word rob would use in his native tongue...tongue... rob's tongue...oops I digress).

    Other great '5 shamwow knicker' rated lemony goodness:
    * The Lost Boys (this is sexiest Edward ever in my book and the story is crazy original)
    * Midnight Desire (a kind of all human parody - hot and funny)
    * Bonne Foi (if you want your Edward a dark vamp - pre-vegetarian, this one is hot and dangerous)
    * oh of COURSE The Office as well as Clipped Wings and Inked Armor (all human, all shamwowwie)

    there's a whole moist universe of the stuff - this is just a taste.

    By the way if you're ever looking for more twismut recs, you need to check out the perve pack smut shack blog -- they review the best and most interesting twismut, and rarely steer us wrong.

    Enjoy!

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  124. I see Rob in Some of the FF. Wallbanger, I love LA, the Office (GQ style - yum!) I like the humor and banter aaannnddd the lemons. Some I can't see him being that commanding so its vauge who it is. I never see Kris a Bella. I havent figured out who in my "mind's eye" it is. Crazy stuff

    Why of why does Edward or Rob always have to be "damaged" in some way ie fifty shades of effed up?

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  125. @ Stan - I feel very...protective of you.

    @ Jelena - Awesome, I'll wait for you, and I won't worry...

    @ Rob's Bitch - It's a date...You, Stan and Me...and Rob. If he can't make it though, I'm out. I'm just not brave enough to put my face in it!

    @ Dangrdafne & Banshee - Re: my new Avi...Thank you, I put a whole like, 30 seconds into it weeks ago, but I never bothered to update my profile till now. *snicker*

    @ Banshee - I didn't get over here quick enough to tell you to have a great time without me, Biatch! *whine* I really really really really waaaaaaant to see Muse!

    @ Starlitviolets - Oh yes, read Wide Awake. Popped my own FF cherry with that one. *sigh* Angstward...
    Other must reads are:
    The Office
    Clipped Wings and Inked Armor
    The Submissive/The Dominant/The Training
    Mr. Horrible
    Cocktails and Dreams
    Edward Wallbanger
    I Love L.A. (This is about Rob and *ahem* NOT KRISTEN)
    Natural Satellites and Shooting Stars (by our very own Stan)
    The Canvas (by our very own Jelena)

    Happy Reading!!

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  126. I don't know if anyone has posted this video by Biel (155 comments! c'mon!) but if you can't picture Robward in THe Office you need to watch it! I block out the Kstew parts.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvVvPbvlLPg

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  127. I do end up picturing rob a lot because honestly he's how I pictured Edward to be anyway lol. But it depends on the story... some stories I can't picture him in because of the way the character is written, but I still imagine someone with his features because again Rob looks like how I imagined Edward to look... haha so I guess yes I confess I think of Rob:D

    For Bella it's kind of tough, I can't imagine what I want her to look like, but at the same time I can't imagine what I want Elizabeth Bennet to look like no matter how many adaptations have been done there's never someone whose just perfect because the character is in my head. Mostly I just think of a petite brunette with a warm smile i guess.

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  128. I do end up picturing rob a lot because honestly he's how I pictured Edward to be anyway lol. But it depends on the story... some stories I can't picture him in because of the way the character is written, but I still imagine someone with his features because again Rob looks like how I imagined Edward to look... haha so I guess yes I confess I think of Rob:D

    For Bella it's kind of tough, I can't imagine what I want her to look like, but at the same time I can't imagine what I want Elizabeth Bennet to look like no matter how many adaptations have been done there's never someone whose just perfect because the character is in my head. Mostly I just think of a petite brunette with a warm smile i guess.

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  129. Argh! Work sucks! I've said it before and will repeat it several times again!

    I've been reading your comments (I'm half through them) and I got struck by guilt. I think I need to apologize to JJ and STY for all the rambling I tend to make and the personal messages... Sorry girls. But I do love this blog+comments!

    The forum idea seems great.
    I'm gonna google exactly how a forum works because with all the trouble I'm having with twitter (I ahven't touched Facebook... I'm scared of it!) I'm sure I'll fumble around the forum.

    Thanks for bearing with me.

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  130. @ISeeTwiPeople - Good idea! I vote for chat!

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  131. Fanfiction will get me fired soon! And how in the hell will I explain that to the Mister? I have a small window open on my screen that has whichever flavor of the day on it while I am trying to do my work. The funny thing is that I am an Executive Assistant and reading the Office or Creature of Habit or countless other Office scenario fics really gets my lady bits tingling. Fortunately, there are no Beautiful Bastard's around here so I don't jump anyone with any inappropriate office behavior. I just wait until I'm home & the kiddies go off to bed and pounce on the Mister.

    Anywho- here are some of my thoughts on who I picture:

    @jbugnr - I totes agree! I start off picturing Robert Pattinson (or Edward)in most of the stories and then they just slowly turn into some vague person that fits the story. Not matter what though - it's always Roberts hands, hair, jaw, and lips.

    I guess I do picture KStew and Bella for most Bella Fics. I want to smack her a lot, but I still picture her. The rest of the people are all the same.

    I just got done with Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel. Lurved it!
    Gotta run to catch the latest update of CW&IA.

    P.S. Please come up with a chat room for Twitards!!!! Not only do JJ and STY crack me up, but so many more of you do to. Would love to chat with everyone all at once. (Is that even possible?)

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  132. Holy crow there are a lot of comments! LOL!

    I find it interesting that a lot of us have the faceless/vague image when we read this shit. I wonder if that's why women seem to prefer written smut while men prefer visual? Damn,I should have been a psychologist instead of a slacker. I'd like to know this. It's probably out there on the internet somewhere but I'm too lazy to look it up. At least I'm good at being a slacker.


    Squee!! I'm glad a few of you like my version of Edward. That makes me happy. And on a side note - I will get the next chapter to you early next week. Sorry, Pantygate spanked me and I didn't have time to work on it.

    @Rachel1042 - writing smut in public can be very uncomfortable. I tend to utilize my lunch break at work for my smut writing and... well, let's put it this way - if the lemons don't make me squirm, I keep writing them until they do.

    As for the forum - we would love to get a forum up for all of you. Someday. Maybe soon? We hope? When we figure out how the hell to do it. And please feel free to use the chatbox to converse with each other - we love when you guys interact.

    We will try to figure something out. Promise.

    @TJB - Thank you! I'm glad you like the playlist. I spend a disgusting amount of time listening to music and it helps that ML is addicted to music blogs and stuff. Plus, he's in a band so I get the opportunity to listen to band that I otherwise wouldn't be able to hear.

    Right now, I'm ADDICTED to Man Man. You should check them out. It's crazy and awesome. :)

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  133. I am all for the forum idea for Twitarded!

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