Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Jacob's Doggy Birthday Greetings

As a small handful of you are now aware, I ran out of stationary while I was sending out the thank-you Twitarded buttons to the people who made donations to the Peter Fachinelli/Alex's Lemonade Stand fundraiser/auction. Despite the fact that I ran out of semi-nice paper and envelopes, I wanted to keep going and at least get out the last handful of buttons I had in my possession. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I ransacked my greeting card stockpile.

What? You don't have a stockpile of greeting cards? What's the matter with you?! I buy greeting cards randomly. Every time I need a birthday card or whatnot, I end up buying three other cards that I have no particular plan to use. Which is why I have a whole drawer filled with cards - Birthday, Valentine's, Mother's Day, Just Because, Get Well, Thanks!, Christmas Greetings - you name it, I have it. In multiples. A lot of these cards were bought years back and would probably never have been used (mostly because when I need a card, I go to the store, not the card drawer - go figure). So when I ran out of stationary, I had a MacGyver moment and I put them to use!

It turns out that I inadvertently sent a particularly Twi-appropriate card to Stan over at Twi-sted Edbrella. She thought it was so funny that she added her own special Stan twist to it!


If Hallmark isn't going to make Twilight cards, we'll take things into our own hands, dammit...

The funny thing is that I didn't even think about the dog/wolfy/Twilight/New Moon connection - I was so preoccupied with the fact that I owned a "Happy Birthday From The Dog" card when in fact I have never owned a dog that the Jacob-doggy thing was completely lost on me! You have to admit, it IS kind of baffling. I think my card "thing" might require profession help... [JJ's note - it's a massive stockpile. Seriously. I'm not sure who's going to end up on Hoarders first, STY or ML.]

Stan also wanted us to know that Chimpsten looooved her new Twitarded accessory - and I must admit she looks mighty fine sporting cartoon JJ & STY. If you didn't already send us pics of yourself (or someone of something near and dear to you like ol' Chimpsten here) sporting Twitarded gear of some sort, please email it to us so that we can add it to our Facebook page!

Chimpsten, you're so cute I'm not even a litttle jealous of the way you are all wrapped around Mini-Edward... OK, maybe I am a little jealous... I sorta wish I was Chimpsten-sized, actually...

P.S. To the few of you who are still waiting patiently (er, or not so patiently...) for your buttons, you should see them in the next few days. I am sorry it took me a month to get the last batch in the mail, but it was a hell of a month! And you probably already know that we don't get much done on time here in these parts...

25 comments:

  1. Haha, Stan was holding out on us! From the looks of that card, Taycob has grown completely into manhood. Pretty soon he's going to be just like Al Bundy.

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  2. "If Hallmark isn't going to make Twilight cards, we'll take things into our own hands, dammit..." I actually saw a Twilight birthday card at Hallmark today. It had a picture of Edward on it and it said something along the lines of "I would never forget your birthday" and on the inside - "It's almost as if I can read minds or something". It has music, too... Full Moon from the soundtrack.

    I've been following your blog for a while now and have neglected to comment because I'm not much of a joiner; whatevs, I suck at life. But I have to say you are two of the funniest bitches EVER!

    PS I say "twatwaffle" all the time and my husband is totally disturbed. If he only knew why I'm on my laptop so much...

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  3. I wonder if Jacob eats random shit like Christmas tree tinsel and then gets it stuck in his butt half way in/half way out causing someone to have to pull the poop covered string out. It's my dog's favorite past time.

    Do they make a card for that?

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  4. Jeebus fucking Christ I had a comment all laid out and then I read @mmMoxie's and fucking died. My parents dog used to shit tinsel too. What the hell is it about tinsel that makes dogs want to eat it?

    Okay, seriously going to bed now. Damn you, mmMoxie!! If I have bad dreams of dogs shitting sparkly-ness it's all your fault. Just sayin'. ;)

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  5. @mmMoxie--I think you just wrote the card for that...all you need is the visual now. I can one up you on that though. When my dog was a puppy he ate a condom that came out the other end...intact--yep that is definitely card worthy material.

    Love the addition to the doggy card...would go well with my Jacob doggy bags I made for the New Moon premier. Well done Stan!

    Ummmm, STY were you hinting I need to get off my 'all consumed in holiday cheer ass' and start uploading those photos to FB? Yep, I think you were in your not so subtle way. Ha! Love the photo and love all photos of Twitarded gear out in the real world...it was not so long ago I recall begging JJ and STY to make gear with their fuckawesome logo. Yay!

    I am drowning in holiday "to-do's" right now...thanks for the levity as always. Mwah!

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  6. @VR - Ok, that is disgusting because not only did the dog shit out a condom but I know that condom was used! ew

    On a happier and less stinky (in my opinion) note, I made my own NM soundtrack and I am LOVING it! Music makes Moxie happy :)

    http://twilightsagapalooza.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-new-moon-soundtrack.html

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  7. STY: LOL - I have a card collection too. With things like "Happy Easter Grandma" from my daughter's youth and a whole bunch of high school graduation cards - at least I can repurpose them as Twi cards!

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  8. Stan, you're the man (or the sheep *inside joke*)!

    I have an entire drawer full of cards, too. I went to use one a couple of weeks ago and it had been in there so long that the envelope had lost it's jingle juice and wouldn't seal after I licked it ;)

    Lisa

    P.S.: Don't tell me you haven't read Stan's Christmas ff story Jingle Balls yet!

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  9. Sorry about whoring out my blog but here are some of my favorite Christmas cards.

    http://twilightsagapalooza.blogspot.com/2009/12/santa-clause-can-suck-it.html

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  10. @mmMoxie--Of course it was used...my dog is not stupid! OK, well, he is not dumb enough to just eat latex without some protein motivation--sheeeesh! At least I knew where it came from.

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  11. In the astute words of Mike Newton "Gotta get that protein in there!"

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  12. @mmMoxie - I went back and looked at your Christmas cards again. That was me commenting on your post as sprtzmom1721 - before I went all PDiddy and changed my name ;)

    Lisa

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  13. I knew that was you Lisa. I figured it out from your blog name plus you always sign your name, Lisa, at the end of your posts ;) I'm quick like that! Not to mention you're one of 3 people who ever comment on my blog. Even my partners in crime rarely comment. BITCHES!

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  14. @mmMoxie - I luv ya, Mox, you know that!

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  15. I think the ass is delusional!! What an idiot.

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  16. LOL! Tinsel and condoms are pretty nasty. You ladies make me laugh!

    Ever had a cat than eats plastic Easter basket grass? Yeah - that's real fun to remove.

    And Stan just rocks all the way around!!!

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  17. Woooo! STY, that card absolutely made my morning when it arrived, I couldn't stop laughing! I too have a card stash, not from buying too many though, I buy them and then never send them, I'm shit like that.

    Chimpsten is loving the button, she even kept it on when I dragged her out in the snow for some pics ready for Eclipse - got to think ahead in this game you know.

    @mmMoxie & @VitR, ewww at the dogs! Not sure which I'd rather deal with, I mean, there's going to be more traction with the tinsel, but then, a used condom? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think that one through LOL.

    Ok, off to sign some autographs, Jingle Balls made The Lemon Sisters blog today!

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  18. That frickin' chimpston makes me piss myself whenever I see her. The day Stan posted her premiere photos and Edward dumped her out of a dump truck I seriously had to change my underwear.

    I'm so terrible when it comes to buying REAL cards, that when a non-computer-homemade card arrives at my relatives' houses, they ask if the computer was broken.
    CAN'T wait for a Chimpsten tent scene...

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  19. OMG! that chimpsten!! jajajajaa looks reaallyy comfy around minie, and fashion with that shirt and the button!....jajaja but what kills me is the miniature sofa jajajajajajaja this will keep me happy till noon at least!!

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  20. Have a very Happy Holiday you guys!

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  21. Very nice...

    I don't know if there are any other Veterinary inclined folks on here...I'm sure there have to be more than me...but you all would be SHOCKED at some of the shit we pull out of dogs and cats in exploratory surgeries.

    Some of my favorites over the years: condoms (in a cat...how weird right?), thongs, barbie shoes, christmas lights, a man-thong,...the list goes on.

    Lurve to you all!

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  22. Hi, girls!!!

    Work has been chaotic and completely time absorving!

    Just stoped by to say MERRY XMAS to all of you!

    Lots of kisses.

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  23. I really really really need to stop reading these at work. I can't hold in the laughter without hurting myself - ow! Oh my this was soooo needed. I LOVE you all!

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  24. That frickin' chimpston makes me piss myself whenever I see her. The day Stan posted her premiere photos and Edward dumped her out of a dump truck I seriously had to change my underwear.

    I'm so terrible when it comes to buying REAL cards, that when a non-computer-homemade card arrives at my relatives' houses, they ask if the computer was broken.
    CAN'T wait for a Chimpsten tent scene...

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  25. "If Hallmark isn't going to make Twilight cards, we'll take things into our own hands, dammit..." I actually saw a Twilight birthday card at Hallmark today. It had a picture of Edward on it and it said something along the lines of "I would never forget your birthday" and on the inside - "It's almost as if I can read minds or something". It has music, too... Full Moon from the soundtrack.

    I've been following your blog for a while now and have neglected to comment because I'm not much of a joiner; whatevs, I suck at life. But I have to say you are two of the funniest bitches EVER!

    PS I say "twatwaffle" all the time and my husband is totally disturbed. If he only knew why I'm on my laptop so much...

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