Thursday, December 17, 2009

Owning Our Robtardedness

Back in January when Jenny Jerkface and I gave birth to Twitarded amidst a kerfuffle [the magnitude of Bella giving birth to Renesmee, I might add] over whether or not I would be able to post all-Twilight content to another, long-since-dead blog we were collaborating on, we had one thing in mind: Twilight. The books. The saga. Maybe to a lesser extent, the movie. And then, something happened. Or should I say "someone happened"?

Well hellooooo there!

Not you.

You.

When we first saw Robert Pattinson on the cover of Entertainment Weekly (which wasn't even the the first time Twilight was featured), we were...not disinterested... But we were far from obsessed with the actor who'd been chosen to bring our newly-found and deeply (yet inexplicably) beloved story to life. Back then, Edward Cullen would have been "The Precious" - RPatts would have been "that definitely not un-hot guy playing Edward Cullen." At the time, I happily handed over said Entertainment Weekly - the only copy we had between us (we weren't even buying magazines in multiples then - egads!) - and didn't even mind [much] when ML hacked it to bits in order to make a Twilight/Edward-Cullen-themed birthday card for JJ. Let me put that in perspective for you: today, if anyone so much as waved a pair or scissors in the general direction of my Rob porn collection, they would have decide how attached they were to their balls. Also, they should get the fuck out of my closet.

It was many weeks - almost two whole months! - before I even posted something that had to do with out-and-out drooling/lusting over RPatts (this is well over a year in blogger time). Before that particular post (which I have to admit is very tame by present standards and given the fact that our vaginas have recently started their own "We Love Scruffward!" fan page), I talked to Mr. Snarky to make sure he was ok with the fact that my Twitarded topic-du-jour involved... another man. I was sheepish! Mortified! And too old for this! RPatts will never be in my "half plus seven" age-appropriate-ish range! And I have n-e-v-e-r had a random celeb crush like this! EV-ER. And here some twenty-something dude who I had never even heard of several months earlier had thrown me into a catatonic state with his burning fuckhawtness (at the time, neither JJ or I even knew this term existed. It was that many New Moons ago). Surprisingly (or not, because Mr. Snarky is awesome), he was fine with it. Although Mr. Snarky IS in a band, and I had to concede that he could write songs about evil, mean, bitchy, cheatin' hoes and/or falling out of love and I wasn't allowed to accuse him of writing about me (er, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it).

We didn't even add "Rob Blogs" to our blogroll initially... Why would we?! We were a TWILGHT blog! Silly us... Now I think we need an entire separate column (a nice, looong, firm column) of blogs that are unabashedly all Rob, all the time. And by the way, if you look back, it probably took us at least eight or nine months before we got all chummy and were on a first-name basis with Mr. Pattinson.

What's that? "GUITARDED"??? Well that has a nice ring to it, doesn't it...
(And I don't know what he's doing with his fingers here but I fucking like it! And that stare! *dies*)

So did you have a similar it-snuck-up-on-you transition from Twilight obsession to RPatts obsession? Twilight fan to Twitarded and Robtarded??? Or did you do it backwards, with RPatts luring you into the all-consuming world of Twilight (I know you folks are out there, too)??? Tell us all about it in the comments!

130 comments:

  1. twilight got me first. but the first interview video i saw of him was my utter undoing.

    how could that fuckhawtness AND that personality co-exist?

    i'm still trying to figure that out.

    Jittzpattzing LOVES Robert Pattinson

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  2. My Robtarded-ness definitely snuck up on me. I was originally a casual fan of his because he portrayed my beloved Cedric in HP&GoF (which is my #1 fave HP book so he had a lot to prove to me). When first seeing the film, I remember thinking, "Oooh that guy is pretty cute" but, like I said, it was a casual admiration at first.

    Then, Twilight exploded. Rob was everywhere. And I was hooked. I would list myself as a Robtarded menu item, with a side of Twitarded. My obsession with Rob is definitely a lifestyle for me now. He utterly consumes my "when-I'm-not-at-work" & "I-should-be-working-but-I'm-ogling-Rob-online" times.

    (Btw, I love how you ladies have now given me a word to describe myself. I'm totally Robtarded for Rob. "Robsessed" is close, but Robtarded really brings it home when describing what I am.) :)

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  3. Yup. I think the transition was the same for me. Twilight to twitarded and Robtarded. I actually though he was funny looking before I read the books and saw the movie. I know shockng. Not so sure how Mr. Twi-swears feels about my lusting of RPattz, but that's okay...I suspect the FF that you two introduced me to makes up for that.

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  4. going against the grain here. i'm not robtarded. granted some of his pictures are great but he doesn't do it for me. i was edward first and as i made it through new moon and eclipse i fell totally (like totally) in love with jacob. and now that i have some nice abage to stare at(thank you taylor), i remain twitarded with a nice side of jacob.

    wv:phodynge- 1. bondage with your phone. 2. a phone that needs cleaning(dingy)

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  5. Same here, I mean, I didn't even have any great pull towards him after watching Twilight every other week.

    It didn't really come to fruition until a few months ago when I started really getting into all the fanfic, and following people on twitter. Which lead to the inundation of RPattz pics. OME! It was a very sudden and intense overload of the senses.

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  6. Ah, I love this post because it is an island in the dreaded drought and because you used THAT picture. Beard and fingers... shit.
    It definitely sneaked up on me. I had read all the books and hadn't seen the movie yet (about Feb. of this year) and I was at my friend's house who got me hooked on the twi-drugs. I clearly remember her pointing to a small picture in a magazine of 'the guy who's playing Edward' but just thinking he looked vaguely familiar.

    Then in a matter of weeks - don't ask me, they were lost weeks - I was watching the trailer online over and over and over. I googled him a few times until I saw enough pics and interviews to become robsessed and robtarded with his looks, intelligence, humor, hands, jaw, height, sex stare,...uh, you get the idea. For the love of all that's holy (HHH), I'm in my forties and also have never had a crush like this. Even Shawn.

    Sorry Shawn. Rob has my heart AND hormones. I probably didn't know what to do with my hormones when you were The Guy.

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  7. I did not find Twilight and Rob till this past May when was stuck in an airport for 5 hours and bored outta my gorge (no idea what my gorge is but trust me it was bored). I had seen the news coverage of Rob & Twilight but had remained blissfully unaware of the fuckhawtness.

    My Robsession quickly surpassed my Twi obsession. Then my twiporn obsession quickly surpassed everything else in the world.

    You know, for Christmas, I think I am going to re-read all the Twi books. Pretty bad when I cannot remember what was in the books and what was FF.


    WV: shablam - what happened to me the first time I saw a pic of Rob's eye-fuck-look.

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  8. It all started for me with Cedric Diggory.


    -SM

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  9. God, what i confess to you people..so I refused to RENT the movie - hadn't read the books, b/c I don't "DO" bandwagons I don't read books, and certainly don't read VAMPIRE love stories..PLEASE! I thought the broody looking guy on the cover was kinda goofy looking. Yep..that WAS me. Then after peer pressure from 2 seperate friends I finally bought the first book..it sat on my shelf for a month beforeI finally read it. Before I had it finished, I ran to the store and bought book 2 and 3. I got sick that weekend and read all 4 books in 5 days. THEN i sent the husband to rent Twilight. Rpattz was...interesting..NOT my usual 'type'..but then I got online, found out he could frickin play guitar, piano and SING?! I read, and read and read about him..all the while thinking, WOW, suddenly he's exactly my type! :) There's no going back..most my friends are all Taycob crazy and I just can't get into it..shirt or no shirt..I'll take Rpatz anyday over those abs! *sigh..lurve me some Spunk*

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  10. I loved Rob first, because of Harry Potter. But not to the extent I do now, thanks to Twilight, obviously. The level of obsession of the two seem to go hand in hand, I think.

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  12. I'm going to cheat and borrow two questions and answers from the TwiBite Challenge I recently took with Mrs. P.

    Q-We’ll start with an easy one. In 3 sentences or less, how did you become obsessed with Twilight?

    A-Having never read the books, I saw the movie in the theater and thought it was pretty good and that the actor playing Edward was hot. A co-worker hounded me until I read the first book, which only made me want to watch the movie again. After watching it a second time on DVD, I realized how much I enjoyed the music, bought the soundtrack, heard Rob’s songs, and then fell head over heels in lust with Rob.

    Q-If you discovered that Rob reads your blog and he wanted to meet you, would you be embarrassed because of how we all want to hump him into a coma or would you actually meet with him? (Note...he would know who you are...this would not be an anonymous meeting.)

    A-Is this a trick question? I threw my pride out the window when I found JJ & STY at Twitarded, started toting Pocket Edward to family events, started following more blogs and writing my own blog dedicated to a boy the same age as my kids, outed myself at work, and started hanging around with the likes of Mrs. P.
    ______

    I'm a Robtarded Twitard and proud of the company I keep.

    Lisa

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  13. My transition was similar. I subscribed to EW and saw the first cover back in Aug 08 and found out he was playing this Edward fellow. I was like "That's the kid who played Cedric Diggory? But he was cute and clean cut. I can't believe it's the same guy" Well after I saw a clip of the ballet scene on the Spike Awards I decided I'd go see the movie but I wanted to read the book first.

    When the 3 EW cover issue came out I was traveling and saw the first cover of the two of them. I wanted to get that one for keepsake purposes. I kept walking waiting to buy it once I got to my gate. I passed by the Rob cover and was like, I might get that one but I think I should get them both on it. When I got to my gate the magazine stand only had the one with Kristen. I didn't think anything of it and bought it. Now I could just kick myself.

    I read Twilight the week the movie came out and LOVED it. Saw the movie the day after Thanksgiving and loved it but not as much as the book. RPattz was cute but I wasn't fawning all over him. By January I had become addicted to fanfiction, seeing fifty thousand pics of him almost every day. I can now pinpoint the moment I knew I was Robtarded. I had gotten hubby an IPOD for Valentines Day. A few days later he brought it in to show me a Twilight trailer he had downloaded. Rob introduced it. I'm a 37 year old grown woman and when I saw his face, I screamed like a 14 year old girl. After that the Oscars happened and I watched the red carpet arrivals waiting for him and watched every morning program the next day waiting to see his pic. Yeah it was and is still bad, and i'm loving every minute of it :).

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  14. I'll admit, for a moment my Twilight obsession was eclipsed by my Rob obsession. Then out of no where, I'm so over Rob.

    It's like kindergarten and I've become a fickle bitch in regardless to Twilight hotness. One day I like this, another day I like that. And it's totally weird for me. I'm usually down for the long haul or as my fellow urbanites say I'm a ride or die bitch. Donnie Wahlberg can still make my upper lip bead up - seriously.

    My admiration for Rob was fleeting. Now, don't get me wrong, there are days when he makes me fan myself but on average - meh!

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  15. I do remember thinking Rob was really hot in Harry Potter at the time, but had no idea who he was. Anyway, my little sister was obsessed with Twilight when the first book came out. Years later, I first saw Rob as Edward when she showed me the first promo photos--I though he was ok looking. The thing is, he looked so different from those first photos than in the actual movie. When I saw him walk in the cafeteria on Twilight, I about died from his hotness. (This was on dvd April '09.)

    I had a dream 2 weeks later, read the books after that, and had started looking up info about Twilight and it progressed into looking up just as much stuff about Rob, himself. I have to admit, out of character, I usually didn't find Rob that attractive. BUT, then there are these random shots and professional photo shoots when he's one of the hottest/sexiest guys I've ever seen! And wow, his personality really does it for me.

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  16. at first I was like... REALLY? he is ok, but he must have sold his sole to the devil, or he got some voodoo woman to hex us all cause I would do anything short of selling my child for a night with him!

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  17. I was a Twilight fan before I saw the movie (bought the DVD to see how bad it was). I hated the varying weirdness of Edward's hair and the stupid sparkling scene. I thought Rob had a funny-looking nose and that he was nothing special - just a kid. Then I found sarcastic Twilight blogs written by women who love the books but also love to make fun of them and the movie. I saw more and more photos of Rob and then, suddenly, he got hawt. Why? I have no idea! I lose interest periodically but I'm usually on the lookout for RobPorn. He's just so interesting looking ... and fuckhawt. Some photos don't capture the Robaliciousness but most of them do. Just wish I could figure out why he fascinates me (besides being fuckhawt and adorkable).

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  18. He had me at the Spunk Ransom interview released while he was filming 'Twilight'....the lust has continued to compound since that day long ago back in April 2008. I, too, have NEVER EVER lusted after a celebrity like this. At least since finding Twitarded, I know I am not the only age inappropriate luster--I thought I might have to check myself in voluntarily there for a while. I am shameless now. I remember long ago I vowed I would never put Rob in one of my profile photos...yep that went out the window...though I will only do this with a can of VitaminR in the photo as well...I have some scruples people!

    I am hoping beardy guitarded Rob will be re-posted many, many times here. I don't think I will ever tire of it.....as I am a full-blown Twitard/Robtard all the way. The nice thing is that while the Twilight Saga hype will perhaps die down someday I am hoping we will have a lifetime of Rob ahead of us.

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  19. Well thankfuckingjeebus! I'm in good company. Same as most, fell the fuck in love w/ Edward, then fell the fuck in lust w/ Rob. I mean fuck, before I read the books I used to see Robward on various media and didn't give him a second glance! Silly me, think of all the time I squandered. Then FF started owning me, in every position. But YES it fucking snuck up on my mutherfukin ass!! I did NOT SEE THIS COMING...I mean, I was reading some stupid tweeny books right? RIGHT??!!
    This whole mindfuckery started for me in Sept. when my supposed friend (aka:the pusher) gave me all 4 books and the movie all at once...yep. One week later, I was a 'changed' woman...and I kinda really like it...alot...

    v/w: sessins...what happens in the playroom.

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  20. Definitely the books and I fought against them! I was actually introduced to Twilight by a male friend. When he told me he was reading these chaste love stories about a teenage girl and her vampire boyfriend, I asked him, "When did you turn into a girl??"

    I bought my first book out of sheer curiosity about six months later in April of this year.

    I was hooked.

    I read the entire series in a week and a half - Eclipse took me one day. Breaking Dawn, well.....you know........

    I then bought the movie...I had to have me some of this Edward Cullen!

    And the Robsession started from there. Here was that kid from my favourite Harry Potter movie (my first reaction to Rob was "What a beautiful boy!"....well, boy no more! He alllll growed up now!)

    It started with pictures on the internet. Then, YouTube videos. Then, a friend told me about Twicracked Addict....and that's how I found youse guys.

    More YouTube....New Moon leaked footage, and sigh.......Cannes. Cannes sealed it for me.

    There have been many times (the last month in particular) when I have asked how a woman my age can suddenly become obsessed with a young man who is conceivably young enough to be her son?

    I post on several fan sites - have made a friend or two here and there and I know there's a special place in Hell reserved for me for some of the things I've thought of doing to Rob....and vice versa!

    Anyone want me to save them a seat if I get there first?? ;-)

    How long will this last? Not sure but in the meantime, I am having fun!!!

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  21. I was forced to read the books because all of my coworkers read them and talked about them every day and I CANNOT be left out of a conversation! I succumbed to the peer pressure....and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

    Then, LizardStew (my co-bloggy biotch) showed me a picture of Robert Pattinson online and said "That's the guy who is playing Edward Cullen".....now lemmie 'splain something. I'm sure the picture she showed me was some hideous post Cedric Diggory shot........(and LizardStew will NEVER let me live this down) but I said, and I quote "I wish you never showed me that picture because now when I read the books all I am going to picture is that guy's ugly face" (or something to that extent).
    Yes I thought he was U-G-L-Y ugly. I wasn't into Harry Potter and no idea who he was and only saw the one picture.

    Then, we went to see Twilight at the theater (I had just finished reading Eclipse at that point). The second Robert as Edward walked into the cafeteria and Bella said "who's he?", I said "THATS HIM!!!???"
    Then the tingling in my nether regions began and I was officially ROBTARDED.

    The end

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  22. @Twicat: I got us some choice seats...come sit next to me. *pats seat, raises eyebrow*
    E

    v/w: wilite...how my 2 yr old says twilight. Though she's got Edward down pat...and sometimes sees a Robward pic, points to it and says "dada". I don't bother to correct her.

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  23. Twilight was my first interest, I think its always be my MAIN interest.
    RPattz is just added benefits ;)

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  24. I swear...I thought RPatz was all gangly and shit when I saw GOF. I truly didn't like him. I saw him in Twilight and almost dry-humped the arm of the couch (I saw it on DVD). Patz led to twilight...(for me)...which has also led to a tiny Jasper crush as well...maybe not soooo tiny

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  25. My favorite part of this post? The two little words "Not You" under you know who

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  26. One last word...dibs on "Robtarded" once the saga is over...just kidding, I plan on using "RobBite"

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  27. Bloody hell Mrs. P, you don;t half go on! I know by the time I finish typing this comment that Lisa will have appeared from nowhere and slipped in under you first ;o).

    Mary, my bloggy co-ho over at Edbrella introduced me to the books, let me fall in love with Edward and then showed me these pics of this really odd looking bloke who played Edward in the film who she was lusting after. I was disappointed, I'll be honest. I mean, what was with his face, how it seemed to be all caved in from certain angles? Then I watched the film and I totally got it. I was Robbed, that was me done. And now we get to this point in time, where me, a married mother of 3 in her 30's, sets her alarm a whole hour earlier in the morning to sit looking at stuff about him (even though I'm a stay at home mum and have all day to do the same!) in my kitchen. The same kitchen with my beloved Rob corner, a pic of him that my son did stuck to the cupboard and a 6' cardboard cut-out that, quite frankly I regret ever ordering (sssh, don't tell Mr Stan). The reason? His disapproval is starting to get to me. It's getting to the point where I turn round, see that look and want to yell "WHAT?! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? WHAT DID I DO?!" I swear, it's tantamount to domestic abuse the way he looks at me. Ok, I'm going now because I'm getting worried for my state of mind ;o)

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  28. I drank the book Koolaid - read the first 3 and anxisouly awaite the arrivel of BD. Picked up my reserved copy at 12:01 AM (waste of good sleeping time!). I remember when they announced Rob would be Edward - and my younger she-who-shall-remain-nameless friend who always has her knickers in a twist over highly age-inappropriate young men, declared he was hot. So I set out to supply her with Rob porn. It's been fun, to say the least. (If my computer is ever audited at work, I am sunk) It's how I found Twitarded and found myself sinking further into the morass.

    But honestly, I can't get over the fact that he's younger than my daughter. Major yuck fctor.(She jokingly said he was too young for her too - then admitted she'd screw him in the middle of the street if he wanted.)(I can write that here knowing she will never see it.) I'd swap mp3s with him, but not body fluids.

    Now Gil Birmingham and Billy Burke... they have potential.

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  29. Jeez - can I type or what? Sorry about all thosed missed keys

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  30. My daughter was a huge fan of the books and I resisted reading them for ages cause they sounded so silly (vampires and warewolves... seriously?!). I finally gave in and read Twilight a few days before opening weekend and, to my surprise, thought it was fabulous. Then I saw the movie and...WOW.

    I completely and irrevocably fell in love with Robward. Hard. And that was it. I felt like a old lady creeper lusting after someone so young, but I just couldn't help it. I kept this dirty little secret to myself until I stumbled onto Twitarded, and the rest is history. I still can't explain this obsession, but at least all of you understand. I am so Robtarded.

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  31. Let me just say that I am re-visiting my youth. (SHHOOSHH!) In a technology-twisted way because there would be no other!! You see, back in the day, never thought I’d sound like my parents, hahaha, dating myself, (SHHOOSHH, AGAIN!) I,(we) did not have the internet, cell phone, texting, facebook, myspace, twitter stuff that everyone has-to-have-or-the-world-will-end. We watched MTV and bought the Enquirer, Star, Tiger-Beat and Seventeen magazines to get our latest gossip and paps pictures. Today, everything is instant, right here, right now. Viral is the new word.

    I didn’t even “touch” Twilight until this past April, thanks to my daughter, my pusher. I found Twitarded, JJ & STY, and took the ball and ran. Out of breath, but ran with it. That lit a spark and I restarted my blog, still weak, but trying. Here’s some of what I put on my first page. That answers STY question.

    The purpose of my blog is to release "fan feelings" towards the famous Robert Pattinson. So be it that I could be this guy’s mom. So glad that I am not. But if I was, I would be so proud as I am sure his parents and family are. I am proud of all 3 of my children. My oldest son is 25,(whose birthday is the 15th of May—two days before Rob—but my son is still older) my next son is 22, and my last but not least daughter is 17—ha-ha, yes “17”. So like I said, I'm old enough to be his mom.

    So what is all the hub-bub about this guy? Yes, last year I didn’t even know about him except for his role is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I thought he was cute in that too. He’s also had some other minor movie/TV parts. Since he’s from London, England you can be a BIG actor over there but in the America, they say, “Rob who”?

    I never read, and still haven’t read the Harry Potter books or saw the movies at the theater. My daughter read the books and saw the movies. MY DAUGHTER! I wasn't even into The Twilight Saga books when they came out, my daughter was and I even bought the books for her! I did not jump on the "Twilight band wagon" until this past April. My daughter asked if I wanted to watch the movie (that I bought) and then, if I wanted, read all 4 of the books.

    Can you say, "hook, line and sinker?" Cause that is what happened once I saw the Twilight DVD and then read all of the books within a two week period. I needed to find out more, everything and anything about this Robert Pattinson. What was it about him that made every teenage girl and woman go gaga?

    First, I know it was the character he played, Edward Cullen. Second, once I got over that, then it was Robert Pattinson, Rob Pattinson, RPattz, Robward, and the list goes on. So, this brings me to my Robsession. I stumbled about a blog site called Twitarded. Two 30-something chicks that just blew my mind and opened all the possibilities of Rob and Twilight in general—and I don’t even use or take drugs! LMAO! I didn’t want to hijack their blog all the time, and then I remembered that I started a blog back in 2006 when I was into my cake decorating. Oh yea, that. Sorry step-child, {{kicks to the curb}}.

    Sorry so long. I'm using a vacation day, so I'm up late. See what you did Snarky!

    WV= vimpar, I might be turning into one.

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  32. My obsession started with HP aswell but not when I saw it at the movies. I read the books and as I read a book I'd watch the DVD and that's when it happened. I thought they cast Cedric very well as that guy is beautiful. I remember watching the credits and googling him and saw that he was in this movie called Twilight. The book was released with E&B on the cover so I bought it for my daughter for christmas and thought I'd better sanction it for her as she was only 11 at the time and instant addiction. I saw the movie when I was half way through the book and I still can't work out how a bloke with a strange nose, crooked teeth one ear that sticks out more than the other and is gangly and a dork could be so fucking HOT. Shit I"m 45 years old and he's young enough to be my son but I figure if skanky old Madonna can have an actual boyfriend of 22 then I can lust after Rob. We sound like a group of crack addicts recalling our first hit.Oh I'm team Jacob by the way so how does that work? At least if she'd chosen Jacob we wouldn't have to endure BD. Taylor is beautiful but he doesn't float my boat like Rob maybe it's someone's imperfections that makes them hot.
    W/V hymps yep who would we all like to hymp

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  33. Aw, now I REALLY know I'm among my brethren! Obsession with Twilight the books led to Twilight the Movie led to Interviews and photoshoots, led to searching YouTube to find MORE interviews/photoshoots led to Twiblogs & Twitter, zeroed in on Twicrack Addict which led to Twitarded, led to fanfic.... and Holy Cow somewhere along the line became completely Robtarded over this does NOT-look-23-year-old-especially-when-he's-beardy-or-scruffy-so-I'm-trying-to-justify-my-crush-inhumanely-sexy-beautiful-creature. It does feel like some sort of enchantment because I don't understand it either. His face...his voice.... elicits feelings ranging from pure bliss to fuckhawt sexiness. Hell even just body parts! Look at those flexy bendy fingers in the guitar pic....gah it's mezmorizing. I feel completely ridiculous. Thank God for Twitardia where my sanity stands half a chance.

    Fkat

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  34. @Stan - PMSL - @ domestic abuse!

    Anyhoo, everything happened so fast to me. Immediately after reading the books, I found Twitarded, and while I didn't share your Robsession, after a while, I started seeing what you're talking about. I still am a devoted Twilight lover, and it has not turned into lust for Rob. The most I want for him is to be my BFF. IDK why. Don't ask. I'm retarded. But, thinking about sex with him definitely turns me on, especially when I'm writing about it. :D

    I think the problem is, in some photos, Rob looks too much like my first boyfriend, who, even though I really loved at the time, turned out to be very shallow and uninteresting. And lusting over my first boyfriend would just seem shallow. Help!

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  35. Here's the easy version:

    ->August 2008 - I, clueless of what the fuck Twilight was or that it was a teenie thing, buy the book...

    ->Before it's done, the hubs buys me New Moon, then the last two. Twilight obsession begins at fever-pitch.

    ->I discover BD had just come out right before I got it, AND they were making a movie. I recognized the "okay" looking guy who played Cedric was playing my beloved Edward. Meh. He'll be fine, I guess...

    ->The trailer is released. Me: "Wow! He's PERFECT for Edward!" But in my mind, still - meh. I still watched the trailer every day online because I was so excited. But I never looked for fan sites or anything.

    ->I go to a wedding in Oct. '08 and discover a few friends like Twilight too. We plan to see the movie together in just over a month.

    ->I see the movie and think it's not bad for a book-to-movie adaptation. I decide Rob's only good-looking as Edward. (Sheesh - how naive.)

    ->I think, "Hmm, mabye there's something on the net about this, more than the official stuff." In my search for more things Twilight, I go to Stephenie Meyer's site. I then discover TwiCrack Addict, then Twitarded, and here's the clincher - Rob's still - meh, to me.

    ->After repeated assault as a lurker on Twitarded, I start to see some fuckhawt pics (fuck you jawporn!) and learn more about Rob as Rob, not just as Edward.

    ->And a big FUCK YOU goes to STY and JJ!!! I'm screwed. By you two. I didn't think he was that cute! Then damnit - it happened. I watched the videos, and pics, and now the FUCKING FAN FICTION!

    Snarky Sunday is my favorite day, cuz STY puts up AMAZING vids!

    WHY?! I kept repeating the mantra, "I only think he's hot as Edward." Right! Like that could last long around here. Fuck no! I drool all over my laptop at the mention of the VF pics. I get all squirmy at the fuckhawt videos.

    ALL. BECAUSE. OF. FUCKING. TWITARDED.

    Is that what you wanted to hear STY? It's the truth. How do you two feel about yourselves now?

    Actually - feel fucking PROUD! I was a non-Robtard and you've converted me to the Robcrackhead that I am today.

    @Stan, F-Kat, & Jelena - You chicks crack me up! So glad to share air with you twatwaffles!

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  36. I am a 43 year old lesbian lawyer - I don't read books - I saw that wretched movie for the first time in August on cable and my vagina instantaneously took control of my mind - I was immediately in terminal crush mode - i read all 4 books in 2 weeks - I bought the DVD and have watched it almost every day now for 3 months - I trawl Rob sites day to the extent that I can identify every clip and photo savant style - I have a tarp over my computer chair - when one work colleague (an old queen) said Rob looked like a "lady-man" I scratched his eyes out and the personal injury suit is pending - I dig his hoboliciousness - I have a "Do Not Disturb -I am dreaming of Edward Cullen" tag on my office door - I hyperventilate at the thought of OME - oh and btw - you bitches make me giggle - love stephie from sydney xx

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  37. PS: in light of the December 09 Rob drought - I have taken salvation in rpattz finger porn - lovin the burn in my throat with that shiz - love again stephie xx

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  38. I fell in love with Edward when I read the books. But I fell hard for Rob when I heard him speak at some MTV thing. It was love at first hearing that accent.

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  39. @StarlitViolets: OME! Robcrackhead is sooo the right term for my condition...

    I went down the same road as most of you. Books, Movie, Twitarded, Robtarded, RobPorn, Robcrackhead.

    And now I realize I'm starting to use the Twitarded vocabulary not only in my mind, but also as I speak out loud. And since my mothertongue isn't english, that makes people look kind of weird at me...

    Well, fuck that. I'm now going back to my jawporn. Bye bye!

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  40. Ha! Problem solved. Not so disapproving now, are you? Muahahahaa!

    Revenge!

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  41. For me it was Twilight first, then Rob... I remember I went to the theater to see another movie but as the session was complete, I bought a ticket for Twilight - I had only a very vague idea that it was some kind of supernatural romance with vampires... and a year later here I am on your fabulous blog ladies - every day! The strangest thing is that I did not find Rob so hot at first, I found him handsome but in an unusual way, I wasn't too sure about his nose (love it now!), but I admired the way he could be so beautiful and creepy at the same time in certain scenes... but I admit I had a little Jasper-crush at first (it's completely gone now). Then I started to see tons of blogs, pics, interviews, I saw Rob's real face without the white make-up, I heard his laughter, his self-deprecating jokes, his lovely Brit accent (he speaks just like my Brit cousin who's from somewhere near where he grew up) I saw his smile, his messy hair - I also realized he was the same guy who played Cedric in HP (I hadn't even recognized him! I didn't even know his name in HP! I hadn't even noticed him at all- do you know I preferred the Weasley twins? yeah, things do change...) - and well, I was LOST forever. And will be forever. I can't even begin to understand why. I'm 44, I'm old enough to be his mother. I should be crushing on Billy Burke, for God's sake. Or on Johnny Depp, who's 2 years older than me and the perfect age. But, no, it's Rob. It's not even Edward, I couldn't care less about Edward compared to the real Rob. So how can grown women like us have a crush on someone so young ? It never happened to me even when I was a teen ! All of you, you can't know how I'm glad to know there's so many of us who feel like that and I'm not some kind of freak...
    The good thing about it is that I made my husband watch twilight and NM, he loved it, but he thinks RPatzz is "not really very handsome, so what's about this guy?" So he isn't jealous ha ha... although he has never seen the tons of pictures which I hide in this innocent-looking folder filed under WORK.
    Oh, @TO Twicat, save me a seat...
    Lots of love to you all!

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  42. Okay, I have to make an addition to my prevoius anonymous post (yes, my husband read this blog occasionally...). After going through some jawporn I went on to the hairporn and the fingerporn, and then it hit me - like a wreckingball - at what precise moment I moved on to be totally Robcrackheaded. It was this interwiev http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7d3q1_robert-pattinsons-interview_shortfilms that made me shift from TeamEdward to TeamFuckingRPatts. Fuck me sideways that man is getting my ladyparts happy!

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  43. Wow, lots to say about this subject. For me - Twilight first, then Rob... now fanfiction coupled with fantasizing about Rob. Fuck me. That guitar picture, sweet baby Jesus, am I in heaven?

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  44. omfROB these comments are s-l-a-y-i-n-g me and I wish I had time to respond to everyone individually - you twat-waffles are killing me and there is hot tea everywhere! Your awesome comments and RPatts' hottttttttness are enough to make me smile and get me off to a shitty, busy, RL say with a whistle and a smile on my face...

    : )

    @Stan - uh, it looks like the "Rob Corner" has...expanded a tiny bit??? AND GET THAT MASK OFF OF EDWARD!!! (although I agree that the NM Edward standee looks all like he's silently judging you... the REAL answer is: get a Twilight Edward standee (really - it's the only way)

    @MrsP and 17ForeverLisa - LOVE the TwiBite Challenge - debating whether I am up for it myself! It's hysterical!

    @TJB - [STY does her best Bella] wha-wha-whhhhh-uh-uhhh-stutter-blink-blinky-blink - - DID YOU JUST SAY "meh" describes your feelings re: Robward?! Who ARE you?! lol...

    : )

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  45. @Mrs. P, Stan, & STY - RL is kicking my ass today (sinus headache; project deadline at work; to borrow LKW's phrase, "Fuck me!"), so I've been trying to avoid the blogs until my lunch break. But then I saw your comment STY and had to break my silence. HELL, YES, YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TWI-BITE CHALLENGE!!! I told Mrs. P last night that I feel like the STY to her JJ, so maybe we could tag team on a challenge. But even if JJ's not up to it (WTF?!), don't let that stop you. It will be an instant classic. Somewhere I think Mrs. P is Peeing her pants ;)

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  46. Saw Cedric and thought "that guy is going to be a lady killer at 35",

    Listened to all the audio books over christmas while I was quilting. (someone uploaded them all to Youtube at the time)

    Saw the movie twilight, and then got a copy and watched it a few times(until I WORE IT OUT) and I was hooked. Then found the books, in english so I bought Twilight...and the next day went back and bought them all.. And then discovered jaw porn, and beard porn and Rome Rob and twitarded and fan fiction.

    I embrace my addiction, to Hell with everyone else who doesn't get it.

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  47. I definitely went the same path as you. I became obsessed with the books, then the movie, then (slowly) the actors, and then (inexplicably) Rob!! It'll never make any sense. He's 10 years younger than me for god's sake!

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  48. I think it all happened pretty quickly, if not recently for me...I read the books about a year ago and was on pins and needles waiting for the movie to come out on DVD. Trolled around sites and had a casual interest in the actors in the leading roles. I was firmly Team Edward/Twitarded and convinced that the movie would probably not be anyting other than required viewing to complete the experience. I never expected what happened to me a few months ago...

    I'm innocently trolling around Twi-sites and decide to make Twitarded a regular visit (I'm not really kissing your asses here, I'm just stating facts) because I love a dirty whore mouth more than anything. I had already decided that the Pattz deserved a good chunk of my "alone time" (if you catch my drift). Then there it was...HAIR RAKE...FINGER PORN...and my vagina all but EXPOLODED. How could I have missed this before? How could I have previously viewed all these interviews, watched the porn-i-licious fingers & listened to the sexiest of voices all those times and NOT immediately and completely jizz in my pants?!? WHAM! I am completely Robtarded. I am hopelessly obsessed...

    Add FanFic to the mix (at JJ & STY's insistance) and I am barely able to keep my hands out of my drawers.

    That's it in a nutshell. Thanks, Bitches. Robtarded = Me.

    Now, @Mrs. P: Jackson has snuck up on me in much the same manner. I'm actually a little afraid of myself and for poor Jax...my new-found and recent fantasies about him are INFINITELY dirtier...

    And now I'm all jittery and a little sweaty, truth be told, and must sneak off for a smoke break.

    Love all you, Sistas!! I feel like I've found a home.

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  49. i had noticed rob's hotness in harry potter, but distracted by how gorgeous rupert grint was becoming, my lust for rob didn't really bloom until later.

    then, last november my friend convinced me to read the twilight books after i'd been railing against them, stating confidently that they could in NO WAY be as good as harry potter. but i was wrong...and i fell for edward. hard.

    however, i didn't really find rob all that attractive in twilight. I KNOW I KNOW! i'm sorry. it wasn't until i started following some blogs and watching his adorkable interviews that i became obsessed. robsessed.
    and i've been lusting after him like a bitch in heat ever since.


    p.s. there is seriously a band where i live that is called "guitarded." not joking.

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  50. @Starlitviolets- I tried to ride the Its-not-Rob-Its-Edward train for a long time too. Then it became impossible to deny. Hello. My name is Fkat and I'm a raging Roboholic.

    On a lighter note, I went Christmas shopping with my daughter yesterday. I bought her the New Moon movie companion, whereupon she promised to look surprised on Christmas morning, and to ignore the doggeared pages because I will have already read it. She bought me a Rob calendar (This is a big step out of the closet.). I'm practicing my eyeroll with heavy sarcasm as I announce that I really needed this teenage vampire hearthrob calendar of that Patterson kid. Same eyeroll will accompany anytime someone mentions the calendar hanging in my kitchen in the next year as I explain "it was gift from my daughter."

    I love sharing the airwaves with you twatwaffles, too! Oooo, gotta go - Rob's calling me! Hehheh. It's funny how I love being interrupted on my iPhone now when my hubby calls. The same pic I'm using here pops up. Mmmmm. I kinda like that my husband how gets a sexy "hello" from me instead of an annoyed "NOW, what do you want....." See. The obsession can be good for a marriage in many ways.

    Fkat

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  51. For me the last six, nine, twelve? months have become a Rob haze. I can't even distinguish fantasy from reality anymore. I think I liked Twilight first, vaguely remember reading the book before seeing the movie, and now my life is divided up into Rob events. Where were you when he was at the Cannes Film Festival, what were you doing when he was attacked by crazy fans in NY, kind of like where were you when John Lennon was shot, etc. I'm pitiful.

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  52. @F-Kat - LOL, we must have our eyes on the same calendar! I told my daughter I MUST have it for Christmas, and it's something I can't really get away with buying for myself. I warned Mr. AnyMouse last night that she will be wanting to buy that for me, and he has to go along with it. He agreed, mainly because he's in so much trouble for cancelling Christmas (long story short, sometimes he can be the biggest asshole), and he's trying to make up for it now. I...can't...wait!

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  53. It's coming up to the year anniversary of my twilight obsession. I read the books between christmas and new years last year. Then OME it was on...

    Started with the books...

    Then I dragged my husband to the movie..
    That was it when he made his entrance into the cafeteria..

    Started trolling the internet for infromation on him and the rest of the cast... Found Twitarded!

    Discovered they were filming near me... Went set stalking... Breifly caught a glimpse of our lovely as he was leaving the Cullen house set for dinner/lunch whatever @ 1:00 am during the filming of New Moon Birthday Scenes. That's right Bitches I was freezing my ass off outside on the street while they filmed the birthday scene.

    Twilight has defineatly changed my life in many ways. I have no shame lusting after someone who is half my age.. I proudly pack around a Pocket Edward and will whip him out and take pictures of him anywhere. I've made wounderful new friends during this ride and wouldn't change it for anything...

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  54. Twilight First.

    Jacob Black - Second
    (not Taylor Lautner...no no...just Jacob Black the character. What? I can't help it. I'm hopelessly attracted to the underdog bad boy with long hair and anger management issues.)

    RPatz - Third...I know, just shoot me, I can take it.

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  55. I found out that one of my friends has "Rob's girlfriend" listed for my number on her phone. She addresses me as such when I call her. I love that bitch!

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  56. @17ForeverLisa & @MrsP - tag team?! BRING IT, bitches!!! it's ON!

    >: )

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  57. S'funny cuz it happened the same way for me. Thought he was cute in Twilight, but too much of a slob-kabob in real life, but now (fanning myself to put out the fire), I am completely the opposite. Edward gets on my nerves, but I am all about Rob. SO HOT. Taycob too - he's totally more my type - dark skin, muscles, great smile. I'd like to be the creamy filling in the center of a Rob/Taycob sandwich - hmmm.

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  58. OMG, I can't wait for the tag team challenge!! WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! I'm as excited as a kid at Xmas!

    Speaking of which, can I pimp my jokey lemony Xmas fic here? Thanks ;o)
    Jingle Balls

    Enjoy!

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  59. I liked Twilight first. It wasn't until way after the movie came out that I feel in love with Rob. It was a Friday night and I was at home bored and wanted to have nothing to do with actual people. I went to YouTube (bad idea) and ran into one of his interview...4 hours later I was in "very passionate" about him. There is a 19 minute video of his interview put together and it is fabulous!

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  60. Forgot to mention. I love LOVE love Rob's dorkyness - makes him SO much more appealing to me. He's hilarious & hot, what more can you ask for?

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  61. @Z Any Mouse- lol. Actually, I didn't spot the calendar. I was at the magazine rack while my daughter was in the next aisle. I suddenly hear (but can't see her), "Mom, I found your Christmas gift!" So I look around trying to determine where that voice is coming from when a disembodied hand clutching Rob's face comes shoving at me through the metal magazine racks from the other side. WTF? I laugh, take the calendar, and throw it in our shopping cart. We were laughing like a couple of drunk teenagers. I'm surprised we didn't get thrown out of Target.

    Fkat

    W/V: nonse.....yeah I know this is nonsense, but it's fun.

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  62. I have my husband to blame for introducing me to Twilight. I had never even heard of it till he 'rented' the DVD from the internet. I was humoring him by watching a ... get this... teenage vampire romance Yuck!

    I watched the movie with him and immediately hit the internet to find out more about this. I got the books that week- read them. Then did something I've NEVER done before... (or since) I read them again as soon as I was finished. And still have yet to go a month without reading anything Twilight... No other story has taken me like this one.

    I also had the strange celebrity crush syndrome- that has NEVER happen to me either. And not just for RPatz but for Krisiten, Peter, Jackson, Ashley, Kellan, Billy... pretty much the whole cast. I had never even looked at a gossip page before... now I'm looking at gossip blogs all the time.. ewwww!!!
    I'm hoping I recover from this part soon.

    I even started learning to play guitar- partially inspired by all those musically inclined actors.
    I had the sign my guitar idea about 2 weeks before the guitar store asked Rob to do what he did for the charity auction.
    Now I will seem so unoriginal. Drat!

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  63. DID I HEAR SOMETHING? Did STY agree to be Challenged?????

    I think I heard that.

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  64. @Stan - you crack me up. I just bookmarked your little Christmas ditty. Thanks for the link. It's the only way I can find these things. I shouted at my phone, "what!!?!!!" when he just came right out and said that he kept his desk clear because it was better for fucking on. Then lol'd when he didn't really say that. Or did he?? Haha. There's a little teaser for your story.

    Fkat

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  65. @Stan - uh sorry. Did that even make sense? I was reading your story on my Iphone...hence the reason I started talking back to it. (I do that. Haha) it's just another thing about this Twilight obsession that has changed me. I talk back to the characters in the books/stories I'm reading. *chagrined* mostly just rhetorical questions and expletives though.....

    Fkat
    (hanging my head)

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  66. @Mrs. P - Game on super bloggy BFF!!!

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  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  68. I heard a bit about the books when Breaking Dawn was released because of all the screaming teens waiting for the release ala Harry Potter but I did not even know what the book was about until the movie trailers began.

    What FINALLY got my attention and made me go buy the book that same day was the Today Show interview of Robward and Kstew. I remember asking myself: Is that Cedric and who is that extremely awkward girl? That interview was so awkward it was almost painful to watch. And everybody kept saying it was as the new Harry Potter.

    After that I bought Twilight at Duane Reade determined to hate it. That night I did not sleep because I was officially hooked. And a Twihard was born.

    To truly answer the question, Rob made me buy the book, I read the books imagining Rob as Edward from the start, then I fell in love with Robward. Then I heard the audio commentary and I fell in love with Rob.

    @stephanie from Sidney- hilarious!

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  69. I love English men -- Rob included! I wish Edward was English in the book! And I love this guitar pic with Rob -- I linked to it at my blog!
    http://seducedbytwilight.wordpress.com/2009/12/18/for-those-twilight-characters-on-your-list/

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  70. Twilight first, then the movie, then wanting more about the moive, then watching the interviews... after the interviews I was hooked, fucking smitten, by Rob
    *sigh*
    That's when I found the blogs and finally fanfic.

    I don't know who I was before all of this and I don't ever want to go back to being her.
    I love it all!!!!

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  71. @17foreverlisa, MrsP@Twibite, and SnarkierThanYou - I am so looking forward to this Twi WWF Smackdown!

    (I don't do wrestling, but couldn't help but think it was more than appropriate in this instance)

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  72. Definitely Twitarded first. When I saw pics of Rob as Edward I was totally 'meh', even though I'd thought he was cute as Cedric Diggory. Even when I went to see the movie dragging Sister Banshee with me ('Isn't this that stupid vampire movie all those little emo fuckers want to see? Fine, but I won't enjoy it') I still didn't think he was hot, and neither did SB. When he does the cafeteria walk and Jessica's saying he's gorgeous, she actually said 'No he's not!' Out loud. And she says I embarrass HER.

    Anyway, by the end of the movie, he'd grown on me. When I finished reading the movie companion, I wanted to fuck him senseless. And so did SB. But that little hoor is Team Jacob now so she can kiss my ass.

    Rob's still not as hot as the Edward I imagined when I read the books, but he has the distinct advantage of being real. Yay Rob!

    @janeisavamp: Rupert Grint? Really?!

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  73. I fell in luv with Rpattz when he was the guest on Jay Leno, you the know the one that also had Heidi Klum on it. I was like who is this guy!!!? He got me with his little giggle and witty banter. That night I watched Twilight on the interweb, and started reading the books a few days later. I read the whole series in a matter of a week.
    I totally blame it on Rob luring me in to all this. But then again he could lure me any where ;)

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  74. Oh, and I'm also guitarded. Not in a good way, but because my fingers are too stubby to do anything cool with them. Stupid fingers. Rob's fingers, however...uhhhhhhhhhhhnghh...

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  75. I saw Twilight in the theater the first weekend it came out -- but only because my niece begged me to take her. I knew nothing about it. And I fell asleep during the movie. I'm not lying. All was forgotten, then in February my son started reading the Twilight books. So I did, too. Then he wanted to see the movie, so I took him. And I (finally) took note of Rob. Like others, I preferred him as Edward and thought when he wasn't in character he looked funny. Then, over time, my preference was for scruffy, jawporn Rob. I'm in my 40s, by the way. Soooo embarrassing.

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  76. My Robsession story is almost exactly like yours except the blogging didn't start until much later. First it was the books, then websites & blogs. The web introduced me to RPattz & I wasn't sure if I liked him at first, other than as Edward. Now I would choose Rob over Edward in a heartbeat. He has no competition, unless they start blogs about Kellan.

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  77. In the words of one brilliant mind, fuck me sideways all through to Sunday (or something along those lines), STY has agreed to do the challenge. Can't wait to see what answers you come up with for her, Mrs.P.

    @StarlitViolets - I totally see what you're saying, and I agree 150%. I was not Robsessed until Twitarded started shoving him in my face. Ye, let's blame it all on JJ and STY, grin. Oh, and thank you. These bitches in the blogosphere are simply inspiring, and cracking me up too.

    @F-Kat - there! That photo that you use for your avatar, I hate it!!! I can't even look at it, because it's a spitting image of my first boyfriend (who popped my cherry btw), honest to Rob... er, God, I mean.

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  78. HAHA this is easy, my lil 18 year old cousin told me to watch Twilight this March and I said "nah, that sounds shit" (even tho she didn't tell me about the story). Then one day at home a few weeks later, I wanted to stream a film online, the only name I could remember was Twilight, and I thought "why not". When I go to the bit where Edward pushes the car away from Bella, I vaguely remembered the Trailer from TV (UK version) and remembered that Rob looked really like an "American teen". When the filmed finished I felt empty and that was strange for me. I did some research online about Rob and I was so Happy he was English, yes i'm English but I still don't know why I felt so happy about that! lol. After that I was hooked, read the books and loved it all (tho i'm still not sure about Breaking Dawn sorry!) But I see Twilight, Edward and Rob as Different. Rob is my obsession, I love Twilight loads, but Rob fucks me over big time! my BF asked me if I would leave him for Rob (if a miracle happened lol)and I said "no" and I was serious....but I never said I wouldn't shag him ;)
    and he doesn't know about all those daydreams lol...................

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  79. @Jelena - sucks for you. :D. Having never met your ex, Ill continue to lust after my avi. Of course Rob has many incarnations so you can take your pick.

    Fkat

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  80. @Stan lol, funny!

    I just want Rob, it's that simple, I like twilight and Edward too, but Rob......love everything. beard, dress sense, attitude, musician, smile, hair...just want it all!

    The film came first and then Rob straight away!! now he is the obsession more than Twilight and I wonder why I was the only one to go "WOOOO" the first time u see Rob in NM in the cinema, all seven times lol xx

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  81. @ Dear Robert Pattinson, thanks! And please feel free to keep posting comments, I got this funny shiver when Messenger popped up with 'You have a new email from Dear Robert Pattinson' ;o) x

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  82. Lol will do :p here is one for you right now :p

    i keep meaning to write on my blog, but i realised it sounds like me just winging about how I can't have him! lol :p

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  83. @DearRobertPattinson - You are not alone! I've seen NM seven times, too, and I am totally the only still clapping when Robward appears and loudly whispering, "Don't do it!" when he asks Bella to take a walk with him for the breakup scene. If there are any of you out there who skipped going to the midnight showing or even opening weekend, don't cheat yourself again. It's thrilling to sit there in a packed theater with other fans going nuts.

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  84. @StarlitViolets - I DO feel proud!!! And somehow the "big fuck you" shout-out makes me all happy - lol!

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  85. @Lisa - I do the same thing! Read the damn book countless times, seen the movie 3 times (sorry, I'm behind schedule) and I still try to stop her from following him. (But I admit I do the same thing watching La Bamba "For God's sake, don't get on the plane Richie!")

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  86. So my robsession started this year a little backwards. I actually thought the whole Twilight book series was idiotic and childish and never read them. Then I saw "him" as Edward in Twilight for the first time on a friends DVD. YOWSER, I was hooked from the moment he walked, hair wind blown into the school cafeteria. Then I had to get the books, for Christ Sake! I read them in 4 days like everyone else and got absolutely no sleep as I day dreamed about being mounted by a white, pale and wispy Rob Pattinson. I normally like my mens thick and football player size but there was something about that little Robbie I couldn't resist. Was it the stalkerish behavior, the constant attention he paid to Bella or was it my lack of me not getting any in the sack? hmmm...didn't matter...He invaded my thoughts, dreams and soul...oh gag, I sound like a syrupy 13-yr old. But on the home front as my house got messier and my laundry piled up, my mood lifted from my hum drum craptaptic life to hey, there is something to live for besides boneless buffalo wings and my Ikea feather bedding. So, my hubby thank goodness, understands and buys me every magazine that my "boyfriend" Robby is on. Even my 5 yr old son points out mommies' boyfriend when we see him in the grocery store. Rob's appeal is simple...he's shy, humble and a musician...any man that plays an instrument is just yummy, period!

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  87. @suzspetals - Glad I'm not the only one! LOL! And, "Not my Ritchie!" God, I can still hear that actress screaming that line and then crumpling to the ground. La Bamba is such a good movie, but so heartbreaking. My dad actually had tickets to the show that the plane was headed to when it crashed. Small world.

    @vigallmon and tsharee - I don't think we've met out here in the bloggy world before, but I loved both of your comments, especially your closing lines.

    @tsharee - While I'm sure Rob's instrument is yummy, I know what exactly what you mean. His music is what pushed me over the edge into Robsanity.

    @vigallmon - It's hard to even imagine a life before Rob, isn't it?

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  88. How to describe the first Robcounter...

    For moi, it was Twilight the movie- well after it had left the regular theaters for the after market theaters. What actually got me is a) my almost orgasmic affinity to the Pacific Northwest (three trips yearly since 2007) and b) the beautiful cars...they are porn of a sort for me. I know I'm weird, but anyway, I was intrigued enough to get the book- after which, Edward had me in his cold, lanky, breathtaking arms.

    I read all four in one week over spring break from the moment I got my child off on the school bus until 5am the next day on a repeat cycle.

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  89. I've seen it 4 times & still get anxious when Bella hops out of the Porsche to stop Edward from the big reveal. I just want to shout RUN, Bella, RUN! As if I don't know she's going to make it. WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED. TO. ME???

    ALso, I've said it before, but I'll say it again...Edward's 2 moans during the birthday kiss - KILL ME. Oh how he must sound during the big O! I'd go to jail to experience that.

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  90. just effing hilarious blog today...

    Oh Rob how I've told this story before...

    The local Jersey news was showing SWARMS of teens (hey were you there JJ and SNY?)lined up at a mall in Philly waiting to see Rob before Twilight came out last year and my thought was "Who the hell is this guy? How come I don't know about him?" I saw him and forgot about him instantly. All I knew was that he was British.

    The first night I watched the movie on DVD in August by the first biology scene I said to hubby, "I don't see what the big deal is about this guy" by the restaurant scene I was dazzled, by the kissing at the prom my loins were on fire!!!

    I'm so sorry I missed out on that GQ cover! Thank goodness I have the VF locked away in my bedside drawer. I prefer his mag covers without Kristen..no offense KS, but this way I don't have to share him. -Junie

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  91. Twilight DVD at Red Box for a $1, internet search on Rob, my pusher, er, um best friend forced the books on me, more internet searches, Rob interviews, done.

    I keep thinking he's going to do something to turn me off, and I keep hoping. But not yet...the twit

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  92. @ Robs Bitch - I know what you mean. I'm a little envious of the person who said she was over him. Anytime I see a picture not quite as attractive as I know he can be, I'll think, "okay this is it. My interest is waning." But nope. It's still there. And I'm just as inexplicably hot for him even when he looks like a homeless man with gimpy feet. What is WRONG with me? Since I can't figure it out I'm resigned to sit back and enjoy the ride.

    Fkat

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  93. I'm a mess, I keep waiting to get over him...but there is no end in sight. So in March my 12 year old complains because all her friends talk about is Twilight and so we watch it with her so she won't feel left out. Next I buy the DVD and when I watched the commentaries and behind the scenes and found out about his music I was cooked. I must have watched that restaurant scene a million times. Then I get a bunch of his old films, and Bad Mother's Handbook killed me-it's a small part, but you can't even believe it is him and you fall even harder. I have my own company and it's a wonder I'm not out of business with the hours I spend on the internet trying to get my Rob-fix.I am so robtarded it's out of control and I'm too embarrassed to tell my therapist. Thank god for fan fic, and the good people of twihard who help me know that I am far from the only crazy broad that has fallen under his wicked spell.

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  94. @F-Cat - exactly. It's like this dance of "eh, yeah, not so hot" then "damn, there he goes being all cute" to redeem himself. I find myself searching for things not to like, I guess because this is so fucked up and unexplainable.

    I think the bloggy world plays a big role for all of us. It's easily accessible validation of our lunacy and everyone is so damn funny and creative that it encourages continued adoration.

    Or he is just some Svengali who was put here on the planet to torment us and ensure that we have dirty homes and dirty dreams.

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  95. I wasn't impressed with Robert as Edward...His vampire makeup and serious mood (which was great for Edward-He portrayed him well!) did nothing for me. But then I watched a few youtube videos of him being plain ol' adorkable Rob, and I fell head over heels!

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  96. @Rob's Bitch - I guess he's just here to tease us ;)

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  97. @17foreverlisa I agree about the midnight viewing, I went to one here in the UK and it was brilliant! never been to a cinema with it packed and all the people reacting together and when Jake first takes his top off...there was a lot of giggling! ha ha

    But still not many "oooo ahhhhhs" for Edward, I couldn't believe that! Maybe they was all just so speechless! lol

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  98. @Rob's Bitch - yes! I've had ALL of those exact same thoughts!

    And then there's this one. (Arguing/negotiating with myself) "Okay, gotta put the fanfic down and go to sleep, work, make dinner, whatever. No. Just ONE more chapter! :D

    Fkat

    W/V: slishar....hm.. Sounds like the word verification guy is drunk.

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  99. Soo clever and so on-spot. I like the term "Rob Porn" and I too would de-ball any M-Fker who neared my stash or hated on it. I also have an understand Mr. S, (well my version that is . . .)

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  100. @17foreverlisa - lol, Just as that thought occurred to me, I read your comment. ;) That whole scene with Tyler in Remember Me is the funniest, sexiest thing - RP's facial expressions and line delivery are perfect. Can't wait for the movie!

    Fkat

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  101. @F-Kat Noooo! I hate that scene, it really bugs me how he holds his hand all gay when he's out his fag out lol

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  102. @F-Kat - Mine too!

    @Stan - But it's so Rob and so not Edward which is part of the sexy charm for me :)

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  103. @F-Kat - Have fun with Twilove1 and Z Any Mouse out there in sunny SoCal. I'm SO jealous!!

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  104. Saw the commercials for Twilight and knew I HAD to see it. Saw the Movie - got hooked On Twilight and Rob. Cruised the internet for Rob-ness..and poof. His humor and great looks ended me. Since then - i web cruise everyday for Robness. Read all the books twice and Rob is always (almost) Edward in all My FF visions. I love "Robtarded" - It says it all. Mr. Snarky is win btw. j/s

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  105. I had seen Rob in a few gossip mags before I read Twilight (this last August)...I thought he was odd looking and couldn't understand the fascination....Fast forward to reading Twilight...I couldn't help but envision Edward Cullen as RPattz....It was all down hill from there. Fell retartedly in love with him....he became the most beautiful man on the planet. Good God, or as I like to say..Rob.
    -Jen

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  106. @Stan - I think it's funny - so NOT Edward. I love that!
    @17-4-Ev-Lisa - thanks! I should be housecleaning for company right now, but I've been lounging around catching up on both EP and CW/IA which had chapters I hadn't yet read. Oh I know Twilove and Z Any mouse would forgive a mess but Im actually having non-twitards over beforehand (gasp). I think they'll expect that I at least realize the proximity of Christmas and throw around some holiday cheer. Pschaw. Imagine a holiday that doesn't involve being robtarded. I'll have to surreptitiously sneek in a New Moon ornament on my tree or something. Lol.

    Fkat

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  107. @Stan- Well duh. Of course anyone putting his fag out WOULD look gay. Oh wait. You mean cigarette, right! I love all this international flair on Twitarded! JJ and STY, you are enriching my culture in many ways.

    ;D

    Fkat

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  108. @F-Kat - I told Twilove1 and Z that I expect a picture of you three toasting me so that I can post it on my blog. Have a grea time. I'm heading out for a Christmas program. Sounded fun when we made plans a month ago. Not so much now.

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  109. Books first. Then I watched Twilight. Then I watched it again, and again, and again. I'm pretty sure I watched it at least 15x that first week.

    Then I started to look for mags with Twilight. Then I started searching the web for RPattz. Then I found you guys and it's been all over since then.

    And, I'm totally out of the Twicloset. I used to only tell some family members who had read the saga that I was "interested" in all things Twilight. Now, I don't give a fuck. Everyone, including my husband now knows of my obsession. Although he thinks it's a Twilight obsession, not necessarily a Robsession. Don't want to hurt the ego too much.

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  110. @F-Kat Don't bother cleaning up. My house is a mess too, and I'm easily distracted by pics of Rob. All you have to do is put a few of those out, and I wouldn't notice if there was an elephant in your living room.

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  111. Damn! Loving all these comments!

    It was definitely Twilight first. I read the books, fell flat on my face in love with them. Then we watched the trailer and the baseball scene over and over and over and over again. My RPattz infatuation kind of snuck up on me, though. I mean, I thought he was yummy but it wasn't until AFTER Twilight came out that I got really into him.

    And now I'm hooked on the Pattz. LOL!

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  112. Fuck! The comment above is JJ. Stupid gmail...

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  113. Hello, My name is Z Any Mouse, and I am a Pattzaholic.

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  114. Long time lurker, first time poster but I read your blog religiously. I am a member of a literary website and started hearing about Rob and Twilight from some of the posters. Saw some pics of him but thought, meh, doesn't do a lot for me (I generally don't like blondes.) I have a tween daughter who was reading the book but there was NO WAY I was going to read that tween drivel. DD rented the Twilight dvd and the rest is history. I had to find out who played Edward...started reading print interviews and went to YouTube to look at vid interviews. OMG, you know when someone becomes more attractive as you get to know them? Wellll, hit me over the head, I now found Rob irresistible with his adorkable ways and GREAT sense of humor plus his humility didn't hurt (in additon to being a sucker for a funny guy, I love guys who play AND sing music LIKE THAT!) Yep, I'm waaaayyy too old for this but I'm Robsessed (which I don't entirely understand because I never had any type of celebrity crush even when I was younger!)

    Found Robsessed which led to LTR which led to Twitarded (love you gals!) I have definitely fallen down the rabbit hole with this guy. The thing is, I wasn't into 20 year old guys when I was in my 20's so I'm very confused about that -- though he definitely comes off as more of an old soul than a frat boy-type.

    I felt compelled to read the books which I did on a vacation to NYC (had to keep running to the damn bookstore for the next book in the series, up until 4 am every night reading it in the freakin BATHROOM so I wouldn't keep everyone else awake and was talking to random strangers on the subway about it -- crazy!) Husband finds it funny as well as dd who programmed "call me...Rob" on my phone. I have to admit, I was more than a little creeped out to see Twilight shirts on some of the girls in my twin boys' third grade class though!

    I'm still trying to figure out why exactly I care about this guy and what exactly it says about me. Glad to know I am definitely not alone. Never really understood celebrity worship (most celebs wouldn't piss on the average fan if they were on fire) but I really want this guy to succeed (he's already a gazillionaire but it seems like he has more to prove.)

    Keep up the good work ladies! You make me choke on my morning coffee I'm usually laughing so hard! Thanks too for the fanfic recommendations. FF totally owns me. My husband thanks you too! :-)

    twingles

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  115. I'm a late bloomer I guess. I honestly though all this vampire teeny booper stuff was just that, and kinda laughed at how girls have not changed since I was one. Then I saw a preview for New Moon. (Like I said late bloomer.) I wanted to see that (if I had known it was Twilight related I would have laughed and walked away). Well, I told my teen son I wanted to see New Moon and he laughed (knowing full well my Twilight aversion) and said I would never understand it unless I watched Twilight first. I was shocked! But hubby (having NO IDEA what was about to happen) went and found a used copy of Twilight so I "see" if it was worth it. Well that was a month ago. I have watched the movie everyday since! I will not disclose my age, but I will say I can say I remember when New Kids was well, new. My teenage daughter was/is mortified at how I can and do quote the entire movie. My husband is trying to blame it on pregnancy hormones (I was due two days ago). I soooo have a thing for Robert. lol I can't believe how I just love watching him. I have since watched New Moon - repeatedly. I have yet to get the books - getting ready for our soon to be here baby girl. I can't believe how much I love these movies. I can NOT wait to read the books!!

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  116. Get the book *Mrs. Anonymous (above) STAT. What better to do during baby naps after the first month or so with baby. Also, READ Midnight Sun on the authors webpage, it's in the Twilight Saga section but it's a readable PDF (unreleased/unfinished) of the start to Twilight from Edward's perspective...it's hilarious, especially after you read the first book and you have seen the movie. HAPPY TRAILS! Wish I were a Twi-Virgin.

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  117. So - I've been a bit MIA for a couple of days, but I'm getting all kinds of warm-fuzzies reading all the love in the comments. Sorry I couldn't respond earlier, RL kept me off my laptop and away from you bitches. Ugh - the nerve of RL to interfere with my Twitardedness.

    @Anonymous - I too find myself using Twitarded language in RL. Hell - I just texted Mr. SV something funny about the Sparkle Peen. His sense of humor is as dirty as mine, if not worse, so yes, I showed him the pic of the Sparkle Peen many moons ago.

    And my suggestion to your problem of the hubs reading on here, create an alter ego. Then you can become officially Twitarded and we'll know what to call you.

    @Mrs. P, and Lisa - TAG TEAM TWIBITE CHALLENGE - YES!!!! I can't wait to read STY's.

    @F-Kat - Gasp! Dog-eared NM Movie Companion?! Blasphemy! ;) Mr. SV actually bought mine for me. He gets the book/movie obsession, I just haven't exactly clued him in to my lustraction to Rob. Thus, my jealousy over your Christmas present is raging. I saw the calendar in question and DAMN!

    And I LOVE the "eyeroll" and "it was from my daughter" cop-outs. That's EXACTLY my style! I was going to use that if I get the Min-E I asked for, but - I ASKED for it and everyone in my fam knows it. I got mad lurve for you chicky - you rock!

    And your avatar is my new Robfave!

    @Stan - I can't wait to get my grubby little paws all over Jingle Balls.

    @Banshee - I've got the curse of the stubbies too. My guitar has been gathering dust for over two years now.

    @Jelena - I always feel better when blaming others. ;)

    @STY - LOL! It was meant as a compliment. ;)

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  118. @ banshee713: what can i say? i like gingers. and dorks. and floppy hair. he meets all this criteria. plus, he likes good music (e.g. mogwai), which i find super sexy, and he bought a damn ice cream truck with his hp money for who knows what reason.
    i loves it.

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  119. @janeisavamp: kay, you probably won't see this, but anyway. Whatever floats your boat, baby. I can't really talk, I have a thing for Patrick Stump. You know, the lead singer from Fallout Boy. With the sideburns. And the dorky glasses. I have no idea why, I just do.

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  120. @banshee713: dorks are so cute. it's a fact :)

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  121. Commenting on an old post to say that pic of Rob with the guitar was taken at a shop about 20 miles from my house. *sigh* how does one function knowing he was lucking SO close to them?

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  122. I saw Mr. Pattinson in Harry Potter first and liked him. Then I forgot all about him till I saw his picture in the news paper one morning alongside a news of how much box office record twilight made in its first week. The same day I went to the book store and discovered that TWILIGHT is actually A book (I didn't know it had 4 parts) I bought it and started reading it on a sunday morning. The entire week thereafter was all consumed by Twilight saga and then the weeks followed by my obsession with it. I saw the movie after I was done with all the books and got robtarted!!

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  123. Old post, I know, but I have just discovered Twitarded after having just discovered that I'm totally, inexplicably, senselessly Robtarded. I don't get this - I'm new to this particular insane asylum and somehow I unintentionally checked myself in when I discovered I'd been watching Rob videos and reading twiporn until 5 in the morning. Fuck, I don't DO this! It's EMBARRASSING! To myself that is! Because there's no way known I could ever fess up about THIS.

    But aaahhhhh, you Twitarts are just gorgeous - a balm to my tortured twhacko soul - and at least I'm not in solitary confinement. Cool - there's more twhackos in the world. Except of course I would never stalk him (no... really!)

    Edward or Rob? Edward never left the 2 dimensional pages of the book - when I saw Twilight, I thought he was just bloody awful. I only googled him to see what all the fuss was about. Sacrilege, CH, covering that god in all that white paste!!!! It's like whitewashing a Michelangelo! How DARE she! SHOW US THE STUBBLE!

    Imagine my surprise when I discovered that 'Edward' actually had a personality... checking out Rob videos is like watching a london pub crash into hollywood... irreverent meets glam. Love it.

    Well, I haven't been this in love with a celeb since I wanted to have Bono's babies way back when I was 16 *sigh* why is it that he was unattainable then, being 13 yrs older (oh yeah, that was the ONLY REASON!) and now there's an equally unattainable crush in the other direction. I am crushed. I've only just realised through this that I am in fact no longer of that generation - been so caught up in kids and business etc that 36-ness never really hit me until now :( boo hoo... I'm sure I was 26 when I closed my eyes last night - someone bodyswapped me in the night!

    OH! 13 yrs in the other direction! How ironic! I'm sure a psychoanalyst would love that!

    I think I'm babbling. This is my first ever blog post, ever. For Twitarded. Can't seriously comprehend.

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  124. @Twhacky - It's never too late to post a comment, especially when its as entertaining as the one you wrote! Welcome to the land of Twitardia. You are definitely in good company. Trust me, there are older Twitards than you (*cough* I'm 47. *cough*). JJ & STY are a riot. Do yourself a favor and spend some time going through old posts to get caught up on what a difference a year has made in their lives and ours - their loyal followers.

    Lisa

    P.S.: The ff really is a time suck isn't it? But what a guilty pleasure. I never even knew it existed before I unintentionally checke myself in to this particular insane asylum, too ;)

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  125. {sigh}. I love it when another one inadvertantly drinks the koolaid and doesn't know what happened. We feel your pain, @Twhacky. Welcome. Sit down. Take your coat off.

    Fkat

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  126. So my robsession started this year a little backwards. I actually thought the whole Twilight book series was idiotic and childish and never read them. Then I saw "him" as Edward in Twilight for the first time on a friends DVD. YOWSER, I was hooked from the moment he walked, hair wind blown into the school cafeteria. Then I had to get the books, for Christ Sake! I read them in 4 days like everyone else and got absolutely no sleep as I day dreamed about being mounted by a white, pale and wispy Rob Pattinson. I normally like my mens thick and football player size but there was something about that little Robbie I couldn't resist. Was it the stalkerish behavior, the constant attention he paid to Bella or was it my lack of me not getting any in the sack? hmmm...didn't matter...He invaded my thoughts, dreams and soul...oh gag, I sound like a syrupy 13-yr old. But on the home front as my house got messier and my laundry piled up, my mood lifted from my hum drum craptaptic life to hey, there is something to live for besides boneless buffalo wings and my Ikea feather bedding. So, my hubby thank goodness, understands and buys me every magazine that my "boyfriend" Robby is on. Even my 5 yr old son points out mommies' boyfriend when we see him in the grocery store. Rob's appeal is simple...he's shy, humble and a musician...any man that plays an instrument is just yummy, period!

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  127. HAHA this is easy, my lil 18 year old cousin told me to watch Twilight this March and I said "nah, that sounds shit" (even tho she didn't tell me about the story). Then one day at home a few weeks later, I wanted to stream a film online, the only name I could remember was Twilight, and I thought "why not". When I go to the bit where Edward pushes the car away from Bella, I vaguely remembered the Trailer from TV (UK version) and remembered that Rob looked really like an "American teen". When the filmed finished I felt empty and that was strange for me. I did some research online about Rob and I was so Happy he was English, yes i'm English but I still don't know why I felt so happy about that! lol. After that I was hooked, read the books and loved it all (tho i'm still not sure about Breaking Dawn sorry!) But I see Twilight, Edward and Rob as Different. Rob is my obsession, I love Twilight loads, but Rob fucks me over big time! my BF asked me if I would leave him for Rob (if a miracle happened lol)and I said "no" and I was serious....but I never said I wouldn't shag him ;)
    and he doesn't know about all those daydreams lol...................

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  128. Lol will do :p here is one for you right now :p

    i keep meaning to write on my blog, but i realised it sounds like me just winging about how I can't have him! lol :p

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  129. For me it was Twilight first, then Rob... I remember I went to the theater to see another movie but as the session was complete, I bought a ticket for Twilight - I had only a very vague idea that it was some kind of supernatural romance with vampires... and a year later here I am on your fabulous blog ladies - every day! The strangest thing is that I did not find Rob so hot at first, I found him handsome but in an unusual way, I wasn't too sure about his nose (love it now!), but I admired the way he could be so beautiful and creepy at the same time in certain scenes... but I admit I had a little Jasper-crush at first (it's completely gone now). Then I started to see tons of blogs, pics, interviews, I saw Rob's real face without the white make-up, I heard his laughter, his self-deprecating jokes, his lovely Brit accent (he speaks just like my Brit cousin who's from somewhere near where he grew up) I saw his smile, his messy hair - I also realized he was the same guy who played Cedric in HP (I hadn't even recognized him! I didn't even know his name in HP! I hadn't even noticed him at all- do you know I preferred the Weasley twins? yeah, things do change...) - and well, I was LOST forever. And will be forever. I can't even begin to understand why. I'm 44, I'm old enough to be his mother. I should be crushing on Billy Burke, for God's sake. Or on Johnny Depp, who's 2 years older than me and the perfect age. But, no, it's Rob. It's not even Edward, I couldn't care less about Edward compared to the real Rob. So how can grown women like us have a crush on someone so young ? It never happened to me even when I was a teen ! All of you, you can't know how I'm glad to know there's so many of us who feel like that and I'm not some kind of freak...
    The good thing about it is that I made my husband watch twilight and NM, he loved it, but he thinks RPatzz is "not really very handsome, so what's about this guy?" So he isn't jealous ha ha... although he has never seen the tons of pictures which I hide in this innocent-looking folder filed under WORK.
    Oh, @TO Twicat, save me a seat...
    Lots of love to you all!

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  130. My obsession started with HP aswell but not when I saw it at the movies. I read the books and as I read a book I'd watch the DVD and that's when it happened. I thought they cast Cedric very well as that guy is beautiful. I remember watching the credits and googling him and saw that he was in this movie called Twilight. The book was released with E&B on the cover so I bought it for my daughter for christmas and thought I'd better sanction it for her as she was only 11 at the time and instant addiction. I saw the movie when I was half way through the book and I still can't work out how a bloke with a strange nose, crooked teeth one ear that sticks out more than the other and is gangly and a dork could be so fucking HOT. Shit I"m 45 years old and he's young enough to be my son but I figure if skanky old Madonna can have an actual boyfriend of 22 then I can lust after Rob. We sound like a group of crack addicts recalling our first hit.Oh I'm team Jacob by the way so how does that work? At least if she'd chosen Jacob we wouldn't have to endure BD. Taylor is beautiful but he doesn't float my boat like Rob maybe it's someone's imperfections that makes them hot.
    W/V hymps yep who would we all like to hymp

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