Friday, February 27, 2009

'86 Rabbit

Sometimes it's hard to be a thirty one year old female who happens to be a fan of a teenie-bopper love saga like Twilight. Let's face it - Twilight is no War and Peace. Couple that with the fact that the demographic this book is geared to wasn't even born when I was learning how to turn a Coca-Cola can into a bowl and, well, it kinda sounds pathetic.

As a general rule, if you know me you are aware of my obsession with Twilight. I kept it under wraps at first but I'm out of the closet now. Thankfully, I roped my good ol' bff into it as well and, of course, there are SO many wonderful women (and men) our age that are also equally smitten with this ooey gooey cheesiness. However, with the exception of carrying around an Edward doll and snapping pictures of him on a regular basis, I look pretty normal (well, not really, but that has nothing to do with Twilight and more to do with my genetic makeup).

Recently, another blogger, 86 Rabbit, has been kind enough to link to our site. You should definitely check her out, she's quite clever and her site is excellent. But she got me thinking about the whole 86 Rabbit thing so I asked ML how much it would cost to buy a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit. My request was met with raised eyebrows.
"Wouldn't you want a newer car?" He asked.
"Er, No," I replied, hoping he wouldn't delve any further.
"You can get a nice Jetta," He offered. ML is a rabid Volkswagen fan - we even get a Volkswagen magazine sent to our house from time to time. Therefore, he knows his Volkswagens. In retrospect, I should have anticipated this and searched for the damn thing myself but he was already at the computer and I'm convinced he has a sixth sense for all things Volkswagen.
"Nope, no Jetta. Just check to see how much an 86 Rabbit is, please."

"Let's see..." He clicked on a website and a picture of a blue rabbit popped up; I forgot how boxy cars from the 80's were. "This one is about $1,500.00. Looks like you can get a restored one for about five grand." He clicked another link and up pops a picture of a decrepit red Rabbit.
I squealed, very uncharacteristic of me. "Oooh, how much is that one?!"
ML looked at me, suspicion flickering in his eyes. I smiled back as innocently as I could. His eyes narrowed.
"Does this have anything to do with that stupid vampire book?" He demanded.
"No," I lied, averting my eyes.

"Yes, it does," He insisted. Damn him for being an astute boyfriend! Then again, it's not hard to figure out what I'm up to these days.
"Ok, fine," I crossed my arms. "Jacob had a 1986 red Rabbit. And I want one too."
ML sat there for a moment, considering. "It's impractical." He announced and closed down the screen. "And you are SO weird, sometimes."


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Mini Edward's Movin' On Up!

Edward's OLD accommodations: utilitarian, well-intentioned but embarrassing (for both of us). The zip-lock baggie served us well, but look at him: face down-turned; he can't even look at the camera... And who could blame him? I'm sorry, OME!

Edward's brand-spanking NEW diggs: form meets function--woo-hoo!!! We likee! He would smile that special crooked (dazzling!) smile of his if he could... [Ed. note: I have not broken it to him yet that this is technically a pencil case, so mum's the word.]

What do you think he'd like for a housewarming present???

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Twilight Confessional: Pocket Edward Cheaper Than Therapy

It's taken me a while to get to the point where I am [usually] capable of whipping mini-Edward out of by bag and snapping pictures of him and his hijinks. Truth be told, snarky or no, I hate drawing attention to myself and generally tend to do whatever it takes to go about my day-to-day existence unnoticed. In fact, I'm pretending that nobody but JJ and myself are reading this blog due to the fact that I would otherwise be too mortified to 'fess up to some of this stuff, and while this is not far from reality, I know it is not entirely true. But I am making progress. Baby steps...

Case in point: a few weeks (months?) back, when I found myself in Hot Topic for the first time, uncomfortably wandering around looking at the stuff I had owned the first time it was cool (Judas Priest Screaming for Vengeance? Really? Been there, done that, stenciled it on a denim binder...), it was tough. I felt like I should be whipping out photos of my [non-existent] kids to justify my presence there. But I was on a mission, and I wasn't leaving without sniffing the Twilight perfume. It was hard to have to ask - as nonchalantly as I could, having come from the office and clearly not wearing enough studded accessories and conspicuously lacking piercings - to have said perfume brought out from its locked cabinet. While this was a minor victory for me, what happened next was truly a breakthrough: just as it was about to be whisked back to its lucite lair, I quickly mumbled to the [half my age] salesgirl something about how my friend and I were doing a "where's-the-garden-gnome?" type thing with our Edward Cullen action figures, and would she mind terribly if I took a picture of Edward with the perfume bottle??? To my surprise, she was totally game, admired Edward (the action figures had apparently never made it to the brick-and-mortar store shelves), and told me she thought the whole thing was pretty cool. I left elated. Say what you will, but for $19.99 (and a potentially massive cellphone bill), I am eventually going to get over my inability to make a spectacle of myself in public. For better or for worse.

Together at Last!!!

Seeing as how she is my bff, I happen to know that two of Jenny Jerkface's favorite things in the whole wide world are Twilight and Sweet-Tarts*. And now, viola! They have been brought together in some sort of semi-unholy matrimony. If she is extra-super-duper-nice, I might even share [side note: I don't really even like Sweet-Tarts]!

I happened across the lone remaining box of special Twilight-edition Sweethearts when I stopped at Blockbuster on my way home from work today (my heart also went pitter-patter as I walked past the entire shelf of Twilight DVD mock-ups they have made just to taunt me). Although I saw them, left the store without them, and then returned ten minutes later to make the purchase (I have issues with outing my Twitardedness), I probably would have bought more than one box if they had been available. There are supposed to be three different packages out there, after all. But apparently, some like-minded crazy Twitarder came along and bought [almost] the entire case the second they hit the shelf earlier today. Either that or she was an eBay seller; we'll just never know for sure.

Sadly, I don't think any of the hearts read "Say it!", which is a glaring omission imho. I may be forced to draw my own.

*It has been brought to my attention by both JJ and DH that "Sweet-Tarts" and "Sweethearts" are actually two different candies made by two different companies and they have slightly different attributes. My bad. This possibility crossed my mind - fleetingly - but my knowledge of candy is limited mainly to the chocolate sphere. Considering one of the aforementioned people has near-encyclopedic knowledge of all things sugar-based, I should have fact-checked (I won't name names, but one of you would snort Pixie Stix for lunch if you didn't think it would cause a commotion).

Edward Goes to the Trash Bar

Snarkier and I have been dragging poor Edward with us everywhere for these past few months. Eventually, we hope to get all those pictures up at some point, so the million Twilight fans that flock to this blog on a daily basis can see just how completely retarded adult women can be when it comes to something like this.

Lucky for Edward, my other boyfriend is in a band, Roadside Graves (Edward's cool with the open relationship but I think ML has mixed feelings about it) which means that we get to go to lots of fun places and watch ML play.

Last Saturday, ML's band played at the Trash Bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. For those of you unfamiliar with Brooklyn, it's a mecca for hipsters. Seriously. You hop off the L train and suddenly you feel like you're in an American Apparel ad. It also kind of reminded me of Logan's Run, as in everyone is pretty young and there aren't too many Cryptsters hanging around.

Another thing about some of these hipsters - they seemed to really feel offended about the amount of time Edward and I spent making memories together at the bar. Not all of them, of course. Most didn't even notice, some thought it was funny but others definitely gave me the stink-eyed-oh-mah-gahd-who-let-the-totally-uncool-person-into-my-bar? look.

Anyway, not only did I have my regular old camera phone with me to capture the memories but I recently also purchased a real camera which, obviously, takes much better pictures of Edward than my crappy phone one.

First stop on our trip was the drummer's house to load up gear.

Edward just couldn't help himself and jumped on the drummer's kit for a quick jam session.

The car ride up to Brooklyn was pretty uneventful. Edward and I were squished between ML and a couple of guitars so there really wasn't much photo ops available.

The Trash Bar is, well, trashy. It's narrow in the front but pretty big in the back, where the bands play. And Edward and I were on the guest list so we didn't have to pay. Sweet!

Of course not paying meant we could treat ourselves to some fancy drinks. Edward got a beer.

He thought it was really yummy but he still wanted to try my Absolut & Soda. What can I say, I'm a simple girl. Edward thought my drink was good too! Now he can't decide which one to sip all night long.
I told Edward if he really wanted another drink I would buy him one later. He agreed and then trotted off to see if he could get ML interested in a game of pool.

He couldn't. Poor Edward!

Edward's a good sport, though. When ML asked him if he could watch our drinks while I helped him load in some gear, Edward was more than happy to oblige. And boy did he take his job seriously!
Having someone slip roofies into your drink is always a concern but with Edward around, I know I'm safe!

It looks like Edward's going to be a regular old fixture at ML's shows here on out!

Things I Love: Twilight, My Husband, Jon Stewart (not necessarily in that order...)

Knowing I was still sulking a bit over the previous evening's missed photo opportunity, DH alerted me last night when he was watching the Daily Show and Jon Stewart flashed THE Robert Pattinson ennui/Mickey Rourke moment on the screen! In my defense, this is a [poorly lit] camera-phone pic of a [kinda dirty] television screen that is showing another previously filmed moment and therefore the quality is, well, pretty dang awful, but I couldn't resist!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Damn You to Hell, Tivo!!!

So like any good Twilight addict, I sat through the Oscars last night - all 3+ hours of it! - primarily to see what Robert Pattinson would bring to the table. Apparently he didn't rate to get a pre-show red-carpet interview on the station I was watching - or maybe I missed it, fine, whatever, I got a late start and didn't have time to channel surf. When he did finally make it to the stage, I was a tad underwhelmed. That little fluff-piece he introduced was totally gratuitous and just an excuse to get him involved, imho. Sure, it was a nice montage, but kind of unnecessary. Let's face it: it didn't really even qualify him as a "presenter" in the technical sense. An "introducer" perhaps... Good to see him up there (shaved! well, sort of...), natch, but they could have made it better.

Later (sooo late here on the East Coast!), in the final moments of the show, with all but the Best Actor and Best Picture awards done and over with and everyone in the audience looking forward to cutting loose at a post-Oscar party, I saw the moment I had been waiting for: the camera pans the audience, and there, lurking behind Mickey Rourke (who was in typically bizarro form - wtf happened to the hot guy from 9 1/2 weeks, anyway?! Sheesh but that dude got hit hard with the ugly stick) was a rather bored looking but undeniably hottie-McHot-hot R-Patts. Even my husband caught it - "isn't that...?" (and he had no idea of my ulterior motives for watching the entire show). Because he is vaguely aware of my Twisessive ways, we simultaneously lunged for the Tivo remote.

Before I get to the part when I condemn my Tivo to eternal hellfire, a little back-story is in order here: although Jenny Jerkface and I have been massively remiss as far as attending to this blog, we've been dutifully taking pictures of our Edward Cullen action figure everywhere he goes (which is, um, everywhere we go... look! he made a snowman last week!! he gets lonely...) and at some point we will get off of our collective lazy asses and get them posted up here so that everyone can be as entertained by them as we have been this last month or so (in the meantime, Lauren at Lauren's Bite had been posting absolutely HYSTERICAL accounts of Edward's Adventures). But a picture of mini-Edward with real-life Rob at the Oscars and wacky Mickey Rourke to boot?! HAD to have it!!!

Anyway, when Robert flashed up on our television screen last night, DH and I both knew that we absolutely positively needed to capture the moment. See that nice pic I nicked from via Confessions of a TwiCrack Addict? It should have been MINE (with mini-Edward superimposed on it!). So we paused the Tivo playback. Or tried to... But somehow there was no longer any way to pause it. OH NO - we were out of time!! We made a split-second executive decision to hit "record," which sometimes saves the day, and sometime is ruinous. Of course, this time it was the latter, and not only did I NOT get my pocket-Edward/Robert Pattinson/Mickey Rourke pic, I also didn't get to see the last 5 minutes of the Oscar broadcast. So no seeing the Best Actor or Best Picture for me! It was all I could do to keep myself from flinging the Tivo remote through the television (in truth, this did require some semi-gentle restraining from a second party).

I HATE being thwarted!!