Thursday, January 21, 2010

Remember Me - Now an After School Special

I was perusing IMDb this afternoon and came across something that I found interesting... Apparently, Remember Me is down 36% in popularity this week. Hmmmm... I wonder why???

aka "this movie is fucking going to be lame"

PG-13? For real? Whoever came up with that brilliant idea obviously hasn't seen the trailer. Or read the synopsis. Or is trying sooooo hard to include the masses of Twilight-obsessed tweeny-boppers that they are perfectly willing to go all Puritan on what could potentially be a decent GROWN-UP movie.

Fuck the tweens.

This is just absurd. I can understand why they wanted to keep Twilight and New Moon [and the rest of the saga] tween-friendly because, well, it's geared towards tweens. But Remember Me? Really?

She totally wants to gobble his meat. I can see it in her eyes. and THAT is not PG-13... no cocksucking for you Tyler/RPattz!

Dudes, these people are college-aged. Like, old to enough to drink and get their birth control on the cheap at the campus health center. I'm not saying that being old enough to booze it up automatically bumps up the rating on your life to rated R but... it certainly has potential. Plus, let's face it: PG-rated is boring. Who wants to pay twenty bucks to see a couple making goo-goo eyes at each other while their chaperone sits between them, all fucking disapproving and shit? What - are they in the Miss America pageant or something? Miss Teen U.S.A.? Golly gee willikers - sounds like a gas! This is a movie, dammit. With Robert Pattinson in it. And, thanks to two letters and two numbers, he will most definitely NOT be naked.


I mean, there is a scene in the trailer where he picks what's-her-face up, slings her over his shoulder, and takes her down the hall like a conquering caveman, presumably to the bedroom. What are they going to do there? Talk about My Little Ponies? Have a tickle war? I swear I'm going stab someone if the closest thing we get to a sex scene is that shot of Emilie de Ravin's back with that alarming mole thingy on it.


For god sake, Summit, take the chastity belt off of RPattz. He can handle it. We can handle it. Promise.

P.S. - If The Runaways get a PG-13 rating I'm punching someone in the kidney.


  1. i don't think i can handle it ;0
    just kidding, of course I can......over and over and over.......

  2. I'm just afraid they're going to pull a BD-blackout on us... and you just know they will... *le sigh*

  3. As much as the trailer for Remember Me made me excited - I figured the best parts were going to be in the trailer.

    My only hope is Bel Ami.

  4. Right on JJ!! You did hear about the raunchiness that is Bel Ami though right? Cause that will NOT be tween friendly!

  5. Still going to see it. Fucking tweens better not be screaming, "OOOMMMGGGG, I LOOOVVVVVEEEEE U Edward."

    And as SusieFAF said, when Bel Ami comes out, you should see lots of nakedness from The Precious. Lots of fucking in book and in the script.

  6. Remember Me always looked to me like it should have Jennifer Aniston and a dog in it... romantic comedy/drama... has never done it for me. I'll watch, for the perve factor, and I'll own it, but only becuase I'm obsessed.

    Now... Bel Ami... I reckon we're gonna see bums!!!!!!!

  7. This makes me want to torture kittens. Fucking chicken shit ass chunks.

  8. No shit, this movie comes out right around my birthday. I have a bunch of pals lined up because we wanted the good stuff that goes with that R rating. Now? Much. Less. Urgency.

  9. OMFG! Jenny you are most righteous! I am so fucking pissed! Total kitty block. What teensy eensy bit of whatever I had for Scummit is gone. Rest assured that Bel Ami will most definitely be R and hopefully with an X-rated director's cut. A girl can dream.

  10. i swear to all that is holy summit hates us... but its summit so they suck balls anyways, could we expect any different?

    i agree with the ladies... bel ami is our only hope... 3 different sex scenes INCLUDING one on a desk!?!?! nomnomnom!!!

    FUCK the damn tweeny bitches. bring on the nakedpattz!

  11. So disappointing...

    Let's go together and throw cock rings at the screen...that should shock the tweens.

    Bel Ami for the win!

  12. Last I heard, The Runaways is rated R for sex and violence, so I think that will satisfy you :)

  13. I'm glad I'm not the only one who ranted and bitched about the rating decision. I kinda went off on our blog.

    My interest in seeing this movie has now dropped more than 36% as well. Good job Summit.

  14. Everything has already been said better than I could.
    Want naked Rob :-(

  15. Please have Rob naked in Bel Ami. Please have Rob naked in Bel Ami. Please have Rob naked in Bel Ami. Please have Rob naked in Bel Ami. Please have Rob naked in Bel Ami.

    Just sayin.

  16. a fucking men. i can't believe they're making it pg-13. so much for rpattz peen. pssssh

  17. I guess I just thought that with all the smoking and revenge dating and eventual sob-worthy, non-tween friendly ending that this would natch be an R rating. Silly me.

    I will go, and I will still probably love, but I will love it in SPITE of what they give us, simply for the fact that its filming gave us so much drool material over last summer.

    I know it's already been said here, but I am waiting for Bel Ami so much that it's not even funny. If I can't see Rob having angry hate sex up against a wall... then I just don't think life will be worth living. ;)

  18. Shmuckmitt's banking on all the "tweens" to go see RM, that probably why they piggy-backed it onto NM. Well I just checked and Dear John also is a Rated PG-13 for some "sensuality and violence". That was also in the pre-views.

    I'll just have to endure it.

  19. Thanks for the laughs, I needed it more than you know!!

    If memory serves, there was quite a bit if swearing and drug use in the script. Apparently that got edited out?? Or just not filmed?

    And, for research purposes only, I re-watched the trailer a couple(8) times. Do we know for a fact thats Rob carrying whats-her-name into the chamber of love? Could be a stuntman. We all know his history with picking his co-stars up and the injuries that occur.

    Ya, sucks slimy balls its PG 13. But its still Rob with no make-up, no lipstick, no contacts. I am still going to wear my vibrating panties. Scummitt can't box-block me! I am getting me some regardless of the movie rating.

    Word ver: hotsc I swear it said "hot sex." Need to lay off the twiporn.

  20. Um..JJ...Silly silly JJ....let's just get to brass tacks now, shall we????...are we EVER REALLY going to be satisfied with him doing anything short of PORN??? Really, come on...let's be real here...okay???? You make it sound like an R rating would be good enough.

    We musn't kid ourselves. Unless he goes the way of XXX feature...I would say we are all pretty fucked and disappointed from this point forward. Or at least some Skinamax worthy material.

    Or maybe that is just the booze talking.

    OMFRICKING...thanks for the I Run to You rec...I have been sucked in all night!!!

  21. @fanficzombie---I think you hit the nail on the head. Unless i see full frontal, and actual penetration without the help of a 'fluffer', I probably will not be satisfied.

    Um--why do I know all these porn terms?

  22. I won't lie, I wasn't going to run out and see this movie opening weekend even when Rob's goodness was high on my list. And now that the Rob appeal for me is lacking for me these day and it's PG-13, I'm thinking Chinatown $5 special, okay not really. I'm thinking Netflix or better yet YouTube.

  23. Kind of on a side note...but not really...Has anyone besides me noticed that in the trailer for Remember Me, Rob throws some large, steel can through a glass window? AND..did anyone else notice in The Runaways trailer that Kristen Stewart throws a chair through a glass window? Both scenes are shot from similar angles...Just sayin' big revelation or anything....just something I noticed!

  24. @rottymama ....I'll just have to endure it....that was the perfect place for that line!!

    @Kneedshelp Vibrating the movies?????...... BRILLIANT!!!

  25. I was really, really looking forward to this. But PG13? WTF??? Give me a little Rob-porn, PHLEEEZE!!

    A little research shows Bel-Ami to be much more promising for some smexy R. - sex on the floor? On the desk? In a house? In a nest? Sign me up.

    I will see Remember Me, I just won't kill myself to be there opening day.

    I hope you ladies feel better - booze and soup. In that order.

  26. i think summit is slowly trying to kill me...lucky for them i'm a total masochist. fuckers.

    @fanficzombie & @Mrs. P.: please, i don't know how long my imagination will keep up with my libido. i will gladly be a fluffer...correction: i will gladly be HIS fluffer. i majored in skin flute.

    vw: deptoph. ummm yeahhhh...i hear there's a smokin' hot deptoph scene in Bel Ami. my day will come.

  27. Fuck the tweens?? That made me LOL out loud. Honestly, PG-13? Really? That blows.

  28. So pissed about this! I wanted the goods not goo goo eyes!

    VW "nobed" - Suckmmit "nobed" US!

  29. @JJ- I am SO glad that I'm not the only person who noticed that weird looking mole on what's-her-face's back. It's really disturbing. Frankly, I'm a little scared to see the film in theaters now because I know THAT mole will be there. WAITING for me. LOOKING at me from that gigantic movie screen while its owner makes out (all PG-13 style) with RPattz. Here’s how I see this story unfolding after all the LOOKING:

    The giant-mole-thing suddenly starts waving both its mole-arms at me. I turn my head and look over my shoulder. With a quizzical expression on my face, I point an index finger in my direction and say to my imaginary Twi-friend, “Did that way-too-large-mole just WAVE at me?"

    To my utter, shit-selfing horror the largest-mole-in-the-world responds to my question! It speaks to me in a sing-song fake southern accent like that pothole from the Geico commercial. She says, "Hay, I'm Molly? Bet you wish you were a giant mole on this bitch's back right about now."

    THAT'S how disturbed I am by this mole.

  30. I'm pissed. Just straight up PISSED. Summit can suck me off, they ought to after denying me the RPatz fix I've been jonesing for for MONTHS. Fuck them, corporate fucking ass-flaps. Blech.

  31. Damn pissed, pissed all to freakin' hell! I was so looking forward to the sexin'! Stupid Summit! Damn you!!!!! BTW, linked your site to my blog, cause you know you rock!

  32. Just don't shoot the messenger...

    Rob is one of the Executive Producers of the movie. It's their decision how the movie gets marketed and promoted so this could be his decision.

    Found this definition:

    "When a studio invests in a motion picture and it assigns an executive to oversee the making of the film, this executive is given the title executive producer. But he or she doesn't have a specific job on the set. Instead her responsibility is to make sure that everyone else is doing their job -- that the project is on schedule and is not over budget. The executive producer protects the studio's investment by overseeing the project.

    The executive producer will work closely with the director if any concerns arise. For example, if bad weather holds up filming, or an actor is injured -- if anything at all goes wrong that threatens the picture staying on budget or on schedule -- the executive producer will press for solutions.

    Another role of executive producer is to make sure that as the film is being made as planned; they ensure that ad hoc changes do not inherently alter the original project the studio approved.

    Movies could not be made without financial backers, and executive producers play a credible role in protecting the investments of those backing the art of filmmaking.

    Sometimes an actor, director, or producer will financially invest in a film he or she is making. In this case the investor will carry the title of executive producer in addition to their normal credit of actor, director, etc."

    (Putting Marketing Hat on)

    It could be that Rob has some of his own money wrapped up in it so he's looking at getting the best Return On Investment on his buck and he knows it's going to be the Twilight fan-base whose target market is, unfortunately, the 13 to 17 year olds.

    Sucks for us but whatcha gonna do?

    There's still Bel Ami and Unbound Captives (rugged 95% nekked Rob with long hair and a tan riding bare-back.....)

  33. @Kneedshelp - I'm a little despondent right now because all the years I've been -uh- taking care of myself and I never thought of vibrating panties. Genius. I'm off to find my sewing kit and a wascally wabbit.
    @Erica - Thanks to your little tangent I think I can safely say I won't be obsessing over Rob's nipple bite anymore. I will however be counting all my moles before I go to bed to make sure they're accounted for in the morning.

    Wordver: multio - the kinds of O's I'll be having with my new undies!

  34. Took the words right out of my mouth.....We need some rated R Patz!!!! NOW!!!.. Hopeing Bel Ami will give us some NekedPatz...mmmmmm

  35. WTF! How did I NOT know it was PG13? I just want to go see a damn RPtaz movie that my 9yr old daughter can't go see! Why is that asking too much? How can Summit not get that it that there are PLENTY of people wanting to see a R rating (acutally if we're wishing let's wish BIG and go for a higher rating!) it's called expanding your demographic! idiots.

  36. I was pissed about the rating and blogged about it, too. And I agree with fanficzombie. Now that we're all ff whoreflaps, nothing may do. I will see this movie because of Rob. And at least that boy can kiss in a way that gets me going every time...the first kiss in Twilight...the birthday and reunion kisses in New I'd like to add a RM kiss, or two, or three to that list, too. That will have to tide me over until Bel Ami. But then I have to deal with the female leads picked for that film. Ugh!


  37. Thank GOD there isn't a puppy in the room cause if there was, I'd kick it. This makes me so mad I could...well, kick a fucking puppy.

    If there's not some nude RPatts ass in Bel Ami I'm gonna lose my shit.

    E @

    PS-I need to comment here more often. Feels so good say fuck on someones blog even if it's not mine. ::sigh::

  38. Well, I just recently learned what ‘Bel Ami’ is about. That should be rated R. I mean, how can you do that story justice without the actual sex scenes (fuck I just vomit in my mouth, when I heard the women they cast). Anyway, I’ll still see Remember Me.

    As for Bel Ami, I can’t wait for the clips to hit youtube, cause someone’s gonna make me a fuck hot video, right? Okay, will I’ll try.

  39. If this fucking trailer made my clitoris recoil in fear then the movies gotta give a little more fuck-hotness, right......RIGHT????

  40. P.S hadn't really heard much about Bel Ami except for the comments here so i just went and looked it up and WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I don't want to see Rpattz getting his end wet in Uma Thurman or Kristen Scott Thomas!!!!

    Well i lie, its better than Remember me, if im seeing naked Pattz i guess im happy, but the whole time ill be thinking id rather see Kristen Stewert getting on the end of it rather than those cougars. YES ITS THAT BAD. Fuck this. Fuck Summit. Fuck whoever cast Bel Ami. Fuck my life.

    @rottymama - ahahah "I'll just have to endure it" that was perfect

  41. This comment has been removed by the author.

  42. PG13 sucks... but I look forward to the fan fic possibilities.

  43. Yes to what everyone else said above more cleverly than anything I could have up with. However, I'll be there the second the movie opens to soak up as much delicious RPattz as possible. I'm powerless to resist, even if I wanted to.

  44. Thats totally ridiculous - BOOO to Summitt! If the story calls for an R Rating - as the script does, because lets face it is an angsty kind of film, thats what it should be! Tweens or no tweens...
    They are obviously not tapping into the more mature audience/fan base that he has - that want to see MORE, lots, lots MORE of RPattz!! (Maybe someone should send them one of the many articles about that very topic!)

    They will see the error of their ways - because as many tween fans as Precious may have, it was also Taylor Lautner that bought them into New Moon especially as well - anyhow just saying....

    But as @alyxmaz says - our imaginations can add in ALL the additions/modifications that Summitt has blocked from us! Hmmmm....

    Bring on Bel Ami!


    (when is that supposed to get underway, anyway? because i'll be a TOTAL spoiler-whore for that one! bring on the leaked-from-the-set nekkidness. (and when did i become such a slut? huh.)

    and yes, yes - i am looking forward to "remember me" - it does seem like a cute movie. and it looks like rpatts does a swell job in it. but i'm not expecting to burst into flames below the waist while in the theater. for better or for worse.

    : )

  46. Here's what pisses me off about the whole thing (this applies to fucking BD too)....what is the #1 thing on most teenagers minds???? Come on now, let's all say it together..FUCKING! So, give us ALL what we want. We all know most parents don't care what the movie rating is (as I've seen 4 year olds in movies like Saving Private Ryan), so the tweens/teens will see it anyway. Teenagers are ONE BIG HORMONE, so, give them, and us older (just rediscovering our big hormones) folks what we want....GAH!

  47. @STY - i think it's starting filming next month... so it'll be awhile til we get anything to wet our panties over... but i have a feeling it'll be worth waiting for!!!

  48. Yes ladies, this fucking sucks!

    However eventually Rob is gonna get pissed off with scummit turning all of his projects into PG13 tweenfests. Then he will start doing some really racy shit.

    Do not fear ladies, the Rob sausagefest is coming....he's just making us wait for it! Lol

  49. You have got to be f*cking kidding me!
    Well hell I'm still going and if the tweens start screaming I'll do like I did at the New Moon screening and stand up and yell "shut the FUCK UP!"
    It worked for about 30 seconds.
    So I had to go to a matinee showing during the week while the tweens were in school to hear the damn thing.

  50. haven't you noticed? every movie that should be awesome (including horror movie...HORROR MOVIES! the very epitome of blood-and-guts-plus-tits-and-ass) are being softened to PG-13. it's a disgrace! I want to watch adult movies sometimes! Adult movies with lots of sex and violence and "Fuck" the verb and the expletive damn it!

  51. My kitty has officially packed it's bags and walked out on me. I'm doomed 'til Bel Ami....

  52. not happiness to hear this!Of course, not surprising out of me considering I was outraged toward the end of New Moon when Edward was asking for forgiveness and KStup said, "Come here" and she managed to twist her entire arm in front of Rob's face shielding my view of his kiss!

    Oh F-me, I'll still probably dye my hair blonde, make it wavy with the curling brush, put on a plaid shirt, eat my dessert first and then go see the movie...3 times cuz I'm already in love with it!

  53. Well, fuck me. I thought I was going to get to avoid the screaming tweens this time.

  54. I am curled up in a ball, in a pile of leaves, at the thought of a PG-13 rating.


  55. twi-obsessionwillbethecauseofmydivorceJanuary 22, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    The fuck? Oh well I'm still pretty excited to see the movie, the Notebook was PG13 so RM still could be good. I guess it'll have to Bel Ami for the win, ladies. He can make it up to us with ass candy, bump n grind and O faces and damnit if he uses a body double WE WILL KNOW because we are some resourceful bitches in the fandom.

  56. @ z any mouse - hahahahaha!
    Fuck it I'm going to go sit in my room for 3 months straight and listen to "possibility" on repeat

  57. @Raptor: LMAO! I dare you to make a video like the scene in NM. You can use a Bella doll as your stand-in.

  58. I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that all of you are even bigger sexual deviants than I am!

    For some reason, this news doesn't bother me. I guess I just want to see him playing a "regular" guy (non-dork, non-gay (not that I minded the gay sex - still hot), non-psycho, non-vampire)in a film, that I don't even care about anything else.

    Just seeing Rob on that big ass screen is going to satisfy...something at least.

    I know - it's because I don't read much FanFic, isn't it?

    PS - bwahahahahaha on the waving mole

  59. FILM BREAKING DAWN AS AN R rated, edit to PG13 for the kiddies show both in theatres...IT CAN HAPPEN

  60. The only hot kiss for me so Bellas truck after her birthday...THAT WAS A REAL KISSSSSSS

  61. Oh never mind if it's is rated PG-13 or not. I wasn't expecting anything really steamy in RM anyway, but - remember the bedroom kiss in Twilight? It's nothing, really. And yet - I guess everyone got completely crazy about it. So I completely trust Rob to be able to make any love scene breathtakingly steamy & sexy - even if you don't actually see much.


  63. i think i've officially become uninterested in "remember me." i'm a grown ass, perverted woman.

    at least we'll get to see him bump pretties with christina ricci, uma thurman, and kristen scott thomas.

    i drool. i want.

  64. What an effing load of crapiness!!! I was totally looking forward to a GREAT sex scene with Rob in it. (And pretending Emilie De Ravin wasn't there. I've hated that whore since she was Tess on the tv show Roswell. LOL!) PG-13!!!??? Really??!!! I am so sad.

  65. I agree. He obviously "handled" a gay sex scene already. Free Willy!

    -love, Catherine, Cat, Cathy

  66. @ anon - agreed, the by the truck kiss was hot, due to the moaning, but I also thought the Twilight first kiss was incredibly hot as well. The heavy breathing, the,hot,hot. Lucky, lucky bitches!
    I was also annoyed at the New Moon kisses because they all seemed to be shot from an angle that you couldn't really appreciate the lusciousness that is Rob's lips. Guess that's the difference between a man & a woman directing a movie, maybe?

  67. BTW, the 'lucky bitches' I referenced are any and all women (and men I guess) that get to make out with Rob.
    WV - 'tatid' - I feel a bit 'tatid' ever since I found this site.

  68. You expressed everything I wanted to say...well done.

    LOL re My little ponies...

    wv-gomet- as in...she totally wants to gomet RPatz...along with everyone else who is over 12 and has public hair.

  69. I am still semi-excited for RM bc it's his first post twilight role. I'm excited to see what he can do. I am REALLY excited, however, for Bel Ami. I've read the novel and holy shiz. I think I'm going to need a serious shamwow when that comes out in theaters geesh! Let's hope that at least gets an R rating. (It totally deserves it based on just the novel). I will be saddened also if The Runaways is not R either. Nothing says sex drugs and rock and roll like an r-rating for that. Though I'm sure they'll try to make it "kid friendly" too. Grr...

  70. Are you drinking all alone on a Friday night? No, you aren't pathetic, but why drink alone when you have us?Join us at Twilight SagaPalooza to play Drunk Twilight Mad Libs.

  71. Atleast we have Bel Ami.

    To be honest, and yes this makes me that much more pathetic, I could watch Rob on a Sesame Street segment and I'd leave smoking a fucking cigerette.

    (shaking my head in disgust)

  72. I forgot to say that Rob said he only choses a project by the quality of the script. I bet you anything it will be a fantastic movie. Im personlly excited to see him in a nother role.

    I just saw him on the Haiti reliefe thing and he looked scared shitless. God, Id adopt all those homeless babies if I had Beyonces money.

  73. @Kerri - Exactly! I could watch Rob peel paint and it would still be f*ckhawt. I felt like sobbing just to finally get a glimpse of him on the TV tonight. He has absolutely no idea what he's done to us. None.

  74. Well, just be patient...Bel Ami will definitely be a strong "R"! And if he does, indeed, sign to do "Water for Elephants", that has to be "R" as well.

  75. I don't want to see Rob in R movies I m so mormonish in that sense lol.. there is an image of Rob that I want protected and I totally hate objectifying Rpattz. love u twitardeds comment me I'm tired of being lonely:)

  76. oh and i m pretty sure ratings with most of rpattz movies will ensure maximum viewers for the Benjamins $ Rpattz is the golden eggs' layer now..the scenes u r looking for would sell the DVD as extra's again for max profits..keep everybody happy!

  77. After watching Nip/Tuck late last night I was suddenly hopelessly fantasizing about the possibility of a new show.

    "Nip / Tuck: The Early Years"

    Starring Kellan and Rob as Christian and Sean, respectively.

    Wouldn't that be fuckin' fantastic?

    <> the thought of it had me deeply excited after the news of the RM PG-13 rating!

    Screw the movies Rob! We need you, uhhh...screwin' on CABLE!!!

  78. OMFG IF I DON'T SEE RPATTZ WITH A) HIS KIT OFF OR B) HIM PARTAKING IN A PRETTY LUSH SEX SCENE SO I CAN PRETEND IT'S ME WITH HIM IN JUST ONE FRIGGIN MOVIE, I'M GONNA COMMIT MYSELF TO AN ASYLUM & BE DONE WITH IT! I really wish these teens would bugger off now! It's like they own him or something! Let the man make adult movies already! Grrrrr. I would've thought there'd be enough numbers wanting to see him get down & dirty! There is SO a market for that!!

    LMFAO at "punch someone in the kidney". Right there with ya!


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