Friday, February 19, 2010

Aaaand Just Like That, The Tip Slips In...

This won't hurt a bit...

I know I am pathetic, but I have really been having a hard time deciding if I wanted to watch or see (or hear, for those of you who made sound files of "the moan" in New Moon the second it came out - I'm lookin' at YOU, Twigasm Podcast!!) any Eclipse footage prior to June 30th. Part of me was thinking that it would be cool to not have any idea what I was in for when I walked into the theater that day. To be a complete and total virgin...

Instant virgin. Just add this amazingly wacky lube and BAM!

But then, something happened.

This tweet happened:

The #EclipseTrailer will play with REMEMBER ME in theatres on March 12!
Twilight
Summit Entertainment

And all my resolve went out the window faster than Edward that first time that Bella woke up and kind of caught him standing in her room watching her and any question I may have had about what I might be able to keep away from was answered.

There is NO FUCKING WAY I would be able to go see Remember Me on March 12th - and know that they will be showing the Eclipse trailer - and not watch it. It would kill me. Possibly literally. If it didn't kill me, I would certainly kill Jenny Jerkface if she watched it and I didn't. What would I do - leave the theater while the trailer played? Stand outside the doors like a total tool listening to everyone go "SQUEEEEEEE!!!!" and then come in afterwards? No. No. NO. I am not that strong. I don't think I want to be that strong. And I know I would see spoilers anyway so there's no point in kidding myself into thinking that as a Twilight blogger and person who doesn't live out of the mainstream loop that I could avoid seeing some of the stills or footage. I don't want to freak out over it and frankly JJ and Mr. Snarky would probably both want to kill me if I tried to stay totally spoiler free. JJ and I have already been discussing the seriously redacted posts that she will have to send me if she want me to read her stuff before she puts it on the blog (which is generally how we both work/write).

What the "spoiler posts" would look like when sent to me.

So I am going to watch the trailer. And that's IT.

Here's my rationalization: watching the Twilight trailer a gazillion times did not ruin the movie for me. At ALL. If I am being totally honest here (and I am almost always), the movie ruined the trailer. Really. I'm not even kidding. Watch this again and tell me that it isn't awesome! And not in a "it's hokey but I love it to death anyway" way -

Exhibit A:



This STILL give me chills. No shit. And it has over six million views.

Exhibit B:



Eleven million views... Also very awesome and possibly more awesome than the full movie. Which is what a trailer is supposed to be. The best of the best. Well played, Scummit.

Oh and I love the full length movies, too.

For the record: the poll in the upper left-hand corner of the blog? Only 8% of you are going to be virgins. And I applaud you. But I can't to it. I'll be joining the 29% of you who are "Just The Tippers" but not the 58% of you dirty sluts who want all the spoilers you can handle buried balls-deep as hard and fast as you can find them. Whoooores!

I love you all.

I give up. Or I'm giving it up. A little bit. Just the tip.
It probably won't even break my Eclipse hymen.

48 comments:

  1. I think it is totally acceptable to watch the official trailer. I plan on avoiding any additional footage or so called "leaked" pics.

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  2. sorry if this is riddled with typos or doesn't make sense in some spots - i was in a hurry and trying to do thirty seven things at once! & JJ wasn't around to proofread... : )

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  3. Woah woah woah -- is it *only* playing on the 12th? I don't understand. They're only playing it for one day?

    I applaud your integrity, STY, but I will be balls deep as often as possible. I tried to avoid the moan for about a week. Then after that was the breakup scene... Aaaahhh!!! Twi-temptation is a bitch and I am pwned.

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  4. Oh, I can't WAIT! I hope it a BIG tip.......

    BTW - DETAILS and VOGUE available in Toronto! Picked them up yesterday on my lunch hour and had DETAILS on my desk for the rest of the afternoon.

    Yeah....go precious little work done....

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  5. I too applaud you integrity STY, but I am the spoiler h00r and I will greedly take it all and ask for more! Enjoy the Eclipse trailer and remember me!

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  6. Hang on Details and Vogue are available in Canada now? I know what I'm doing tomorrow!!!!

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  7. Is it terribly sad that I WANT TO BE A WHORE SO BAD, but I also want to be jumped and taken for a wild ride the first time without seeing anything? I think it will be TOO hard to see nothing, that means no interviews, no TV really, and in general no media what so ever come may. So, I think I can start my own catagory, more than the tip, but not to climax.... but then again I may just be a whore!

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  8. @red_bella...yep! I got mine at PharmaPlus! They'd just put them out.

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  9. pretty soon you'll be doing the pull and pray and then it's all over for your virtue:)
    c'mon, how much fun would you miss out on the day after the trailer is shown!?!
    even if it does give away the movie, is that going to stop us from seeing it in the theater, buying the dvd, and watching it 100times in a row-in particular one golden bed scene? that's what i thought.
    blame robert pattinson and his charms. he is the most dangerous creature I have ever met.
    love the talking iceberg by the way:)

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  10. Just do oral, all the other "virgins" are doing it. ;-) It doesn't count.

    OK, I don't know what that means, exactly, as I'm currently polishing off my bottle of cheap-ass red, but there's a metaphor in there somewhere...

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  11. @Robzsinger - LOVE your name. It's so perfect! Wish I'd thought of it...........

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  12. STY - Just make sure he pulls out and you'll be fine.

    I will be cumming all the way to the theater. I mean, for real? Have you seen the stills? They are fucking amazing. And I get to see Robward before Robler? Win-win.

    @TOTwicat - I got the Details on 2/17 in Chicago. Rob has been properly fondled and the magazine currently sleeps in my bed with me.

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  13. I'm going for just the tip! I'll only watch the official trailers and that's it, well maybe a couple of pics here and there. When new moon came out I had already seen so much leaked shit I felt like I saw the whole movie! I mean I still loved it but I'm def not gonna go crazy looking up spoilers again! I wanna be at least half a virgin! Lol

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  14. STY I am with you sister! I am going to play Just The Tip also. I was hoping to be comletely spoiler free but I just can't do it...and I accidentally already saw all the leaked photos (thanks FB hoors!). I am not sure I can just play and not go full speed ahead but I am going to try dammit.

    It was so good to watch the Twilight trailer again. I will never foget when that came out I was completely freaking out and yelling at my family to Shut the fuck up...so good.

    Bring it!...well, just a little bit.

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  15. CullenLover07 - LOL! So does mine!

    Hey...it's the closest I've had in a long time to having a man in my bed.....







    (what?)

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  16. watching both of the trailers gave me goosebumps...*shivers*

    i am a whore. i know myself, and i know that i can't get enough. the movie will not be ruined for me no matter how much i see beforehand. let me get all vulnerable and naked and just plain fucking real for just a sec...i came late to the game, but as of now have not come anywhere near being fed up with this shit, and i relish every delicious morsel that i find. i can't see myself ever being all like "hey, i can't take anymore".
    i'm open man...i'm wide open. i love and respeck all, no matter what your denomination is. pure or not, we'll still enjoy ourselves.
    muah.
    E

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  17. I'm going to watch/read/search out anything Eclipse (and Breaking Dawn) related.

    I'm going to be a total whore.

    I already am. :)

    Spoilers don't spoil anything for me because I just want to experience anything Twilight-ish.

    I loved the books. The rest is just gravy.

    Movies. Websites. Blogs. Fanfics.

    I'm clearly not a purist.

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  18. STY I thought surely you must be full of shit that the Twilight trailer could be better, and maybe it's the fifth glass of wine, but It was TOTALLY awesome...if only I could say the same for the disaster that was the majority of New Moon. Yay! I have a new Youtube to watch repeatedly.

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  19. I for one can say that I never saw Exhibit A, until now. Yes I was late to the movie but not the DVD.

    I became a NM h0or the moment it popped its evil head out. Saw Exhibit B, ALOT of times. And just now.

    So, I'm gonna make a point to see Eclipse clip either by spoiler leaks or at RM on 3/12. Pass the lube!

    Don't forget NM is out on DVD 3/20!!

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  20. Spoiler whore all the way baby! It didn't ruin New Moon for me...or any other movie I have spoiled for myself...so I am sticking to what makes me feel good. LMAO!

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  21. I think I am going to stick with watching the trailer a bazillion times and possibly some stills...I don't usually pay attention to the pics but those leaked ones were HOT!!!! So I am going to play a game called 'just the tip' for right now

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  22. @TO Twicat @red_bella - thanks ladies. I've been checking Chapters and nothing. Good to know it's out for sure - going tomorrow am!

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  23. Well more power to you STY for allowing yourself to see the trailer.

    I just need to say that I called it - I knew you were going to slip and let the tip in: http://twitter.com/tjbarber/status/9105838241

    And I'm going to twitter about it again because I'm dumb and got nothing else better to do.

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  24. Man I wish I had the willpower to abstain, or even to play just the tip but I am going to be the biggest whore and take it however i can get it, probably up the rear, I dont really care!

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  25. Go for it STY!!! I will 100% admit that I was a total NM whore and plan to be with Eclipse as well. It didn't ruin NM at all! Can't wait for March 12th, I already know i have to work and already have my excuse ready to why I can't be there.

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  26. STY

    Why wait? Seriously, you can only be a vigin ONCE.
    Doesnt matter what exercise or Surgery you have. You have already bitten the apple --might as well go all in. (again and again)

    Shameless h00r here bring it on!!!!

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  27. what can i say? just the tip is NOT enough ;)

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  28. I feel like I saw waaaay too much of NM before it came out and I'd like to preserve SOME of my leghitch innocence. So I'll watch the trailer once and look at stills. At least that's the plan. But who knows what kind of slut I'll turn into if I've had too many drinks and feel like the tip just ain't cutting it.

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  29. I was origionally going to avoid the trailer but I had a similar mini meltdown when I found out it was playing before Remember Me.

    I am NOT going to be able to avoid the trailer anyway once it starts on regular TV so I might as well break the Twymen with a bang...right?

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  30. can i just say I LOVE THAT FUCKING TWILIGHT TRAILER!!!

    ok i just had to get that off my chest... i didn't even wtch the entire thing last night because i was running around my house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get out the door so that everyone didn't make fun of me for being ridiculously late (like they always do because i always am. but that trailer STILL makes me shiver and get all hopped up. freaking amazing stuff imho. i must have watched it a thousand times before i saw the movie. i'd watch it every morning before work, several times. i got nothing else done in the morning and it was totally worth it. wow. i can't WAIT to see the eclipse trailer!! i have a feeling it's gonna be AWESOME. it had better be. it HAS to be !!!

    wow i am way too excited for someone who hasn't had a proper dose of caffeine yet today.

    i gotta go buy those magazines TODAY!

    you guys all crack me up!

    i wish blogger made it easier to reply to individual comments - i really like that about wordpress. crap.

    @tigerkitten36 - can't i be a virgin for each movie?? i mean, in theory?? this is the twidom, damn it, and we can make up our own rules - lol!

    @TJB - yup you did call it. i guess i am just that predictable. but srsly, how could i not watch the amazing trailer when it comes out??? i'd have to be a total masochist!

    @rottymamma - wow i can't believe you never saw the trailer but it makes sense if you came in a little after the movie/dvd. glad you got to see it - i love love LOVE every second. the only part that hinted some of the things we love to make fun of in the movie is the part where edward says "my family, we are not like others of our kind..." - aaaand he sounds like christopher walken meets tony soprano. gah!

    @SmartEPantz - i agree it takes a while to get fed up. last time around i think tht a lot of people revirginied after the break-up scene was released. like there was a collective "SQUAWK!" in the twidom and a lot of people pulled their spoiler plugs after that (boy that sounded really diiiirty). : )

    ok imma post this comment and then start a new one because every time i do a really long comment and reply to people blogger fucking eats it and then i end up leaving a two-second comment like "haha! and i don't want that to happen...

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  31. @musingbella - yeah, i guess the trailer is like the oral-equivalent - lol! adding the pics and leaked stuff would be anal - ha! ok i am getting carried away with this metaphor and i can't even blame it on cheap red wine. go me!

    @racheal1042 - i'm sure the trailer will be everywhere soon enough, but i think the 12th - before Remember Me - will be the first theater screening. and i want to be there! i HAVE to be there!! i can't wait.

    to everyone who already has details and vogue - i am SO FREAKING JEALOUS!! mr. snarky and i had plans to do some shopping today anyway but he isn't going to realize that i am mentally recalculating our route and all the stores we'll hit so that i can ensure maximum magazine rack perusal opportunities. I WANT THOSE MAGS!!

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  32. I want those mags too! I'll have to see if they are out on the West side. If not, the 23rd. BOO.

    I checked out the article on Details.com and they are fucking funny!

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  33. I voed to be a Just-The-Tipper, but after watching those two trailers back to back, the inner Twilight whore is screaming.

    Tip or Whore? This is quite a dilemma!

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  34. Was just a tip gal, now I've switched to Whooooore!

    And I've never seen Twilight trailer either, cause I didn't even know the movie existed until april of 2009.

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  35. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    I'm confused. I don't know what do to do. This is making it really hard (that what she said) to play virgin.

    Maybe I'll watch the trailer. Maybe.

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  36. @cupcake....not sure what part of Ontario you're in but check PharmaPlus. That's where I got mine. Shoppers might have them too.

    You can also try the Great Canadian News - these are all over the place and carry every magazine you can think of.

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  37. SNY--Why deprive yourself of all the foreplay?

    Had I not seen the New Moon trailer I would have Robbed myself of the best music (loved that theme music and how it made me feel, Rob, extra scenes, and Rob.

    Jump on the whore highway--I think JJ just admitted the other day she needs you as designated driver.

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  38. Yeah the Twilight trailer still gives me goosebumps and makes my eyes roll back in my head. Oh RPattz you are my life now (man I'm pathetic!)

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  39. Welcome to the Just the Tip Club, STY! Loved watching the Twilight trailer again. *sigh*

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  40. @Twifiltered brain - "Jump on the whore highway. haha!!! i think i'm going to stay a just the tipper. for a while. i think i can live with it. : )

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  41. Welcome to Club Tip, STY! It's warm and cozy here, with just the right amount of satisfaction without feeling bad about it in the morning. It's guilt-free lovin!

    Oh - and in order to not lose your comments and be forced to rewrite, just copy it first, then you can paste it into the comment form and voila - no pulling your hair out or throwing things at the screen.

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  42. I seriously cannot believe that a day existed when the Twilight trailer was playing on TV and I'd roll my eyes and change the channel! It feels blasphemous! I didn't read Twilight until early Aug of 09...
    Nowadays, it gives me chills watching it too!

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  43. More power to those with the self-restraint to abstain from spoilers? Me? I'm all over it like white on rice.

    I rewatched the vids you posted. Exhibit A was a trailer? That was the whole of Twilight with the exception of Eric Yorkie's La Push comment. And Exhibit B...well, not only does it reinforce how much I loathed Alice's wardrobe but the way Ashley Greene says "Volturi" bugs. It's so...white girl. Alice is supposedly fluent in Italian...come on girl, try for a bit of an accent.

    I will be at the TwiTour in LA the day Remember Me is released. I'm facing the dilemma of staying at the convention that night to watch Justin Chon host the festivities or blowing it off and going to the movies to get my Precious fix. Oh what is a girl to do?

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  44. can i just say I LOVE THAT FUCKING TWILIGHT TRAILER!!!

    ok i just had to get that off my chest... i didn't even wtch the entire thing last night because i was running around my house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get out the door so that everyone didn't make fun of me for being ridiculously late (like they always do because i always am. but that trailer STILL makes me shiver and get all hopped up. freaking amazing stuff imho. i must have watched it a thousand times before i saw the movie. i'd watch it every morning before work, several times. i got nothing else done in the morning and it was totally worth it. wow. i can't WAIT to see the eclipse trailer!! i have a feeling it's gonna be AWESOME. it had better be. it HAS to be !!!

    wow i am way too excited for someone who hasn't had a proper dose of caffeine yet today.

    i gotta go buy those magazines TODAY!

    you guys all crack me up!

    i wish blogger made it easier to reply to individual comments - i really like that about wordpress. crap.

    @tigerkitten36 - can't i be a virgin for each movie?? i mean, in theory?? this is the twidom, damn it, and we can make up our own rules - lol!

    @TJB - yup you did call it. i guess i am just that predictable. but srsly, how could i not watch the amazing trailer when it comes out??? i'd have to be a total masochist!

    @rottymamma - wow i can't believe you never saw the trailer but it makes sense if you came in a little after the movie/dvd. glad you got to see it - i love love LOVE every second. the only part that hinted some of the things we love to make fun of in the movie is the part where edward says "my family, we are not like others of our kind..." - aaaand he sounds like christopher walken meets tony soprano. gah!

    @SmartEPantz - i agree it takes a while to get fed up. last time around i think tht a lot of people revirginied after the break-up scene was released. like there was a collective "SQUAWK!" in the twidom and a lot of people pulled their spoiler plugs after that (boy that sounded really diiiirty). : )

    ok imma post this comment and then start a new one because every time i do a really long comment and reply to people blogger fucking eats it and then i end up leaving a two-second comment like "haha! and i don't want that to happen...

    ReplyDelete
  45. what can i say? just the tip is NOT enough ;)

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  46. I think I am going to stick with watching the trailer a bazillion times and possibly some stills...I don't usually pay attention to the pics but those leaked ones were HOT!!!! So I am going to play a game called 'just the tip' for right now

    ReplyDelete
  47. Spoiler whore all the way baby! It didn't ruin New Moon for me...or any other movie I have spoiled for myself...so I am sticking to what makes me feel good. LMAO!

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  48. STY I thought surely you must be full of shit that the Twilight trailer could be better, and maybe it's the fifth glass of wine, but It was TOTALLY awesome...if only I could say the same for the disaster that was the majority of New Moon. Yay! I have a new Youtube to watch repeatedly.

    ReplyDelete

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