Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Let's Talk About Sex! And Twilight. Well, Mostly Sex...

Warning - DEAR FAMILY MEMBERS. There is nothing you want to read here. Move along. Remember, you will be embarrassed, not me. I'm doing you a favor...

So, rumor has it that there is something going on at FanFiction.net and people's fics are being taken down for violating terms of agreement. Or something like that - there has been quite a few whispers these days and some of them smell like total stinking bullshit. Others... not so much.


Well, I'd like to spout off about it but, frankly, I haven't a clue what's going on so I'm going to keep my trap shut until I do. I like to talk shit but I want to know what shit I'm talking about before I talk shit. Ya know?

I will admit that for a minute I was aghast. I was all "fuck me! How will I ever get my Darkward fix? Whatever will I do without Twilight porn?!"

And then I remembered that I've been reading porn a hell of a lot longer than I've been reading Twilight and this thought got my horny little cells in my brain a-whirring.

Maybe not everyone else has been reading erotica as long as I have. I mean, I'm sure most of you were not that pervy creepy kid who dry humped everything when she was little and people stared and pulled their kids away.

I was.

I was the creepy kid who not only humped things but insisted on wearing shit in my hair so I could pretend it was long. Plus, what's with the fucking Exorcist I'm-gonna-kill-you stare? I'm fucking six!!!

I was also a really curious kid and quite resourceful in getting what I wanted. A one track mind, if you will. So when I set my sights on the oh-so-dirty-thus-totally-enticing genre of porn, nothing was going to stop me.

But a lot of shit did slow me down. If Mommy (not a)Jerkface ever read romance novels, she was a fucking stealthy ninja at hiding them because I never found a single one growing up. That's probably good because secretly I think that Fabio guy that graces the cover of most of those books is fucking skeevy but it's bad because it meant that I jumped right into the big guns of smut at a young age.

Yeah, no. Dude is prettier than I am.

No wonder I'm fucked up. I'm totally blaming it on the porn. Uh huh.

Anyhoo, suffice to say that I have spent a good deal of my time reading about smexy-times throughout the years and I figured now would be a good time to share some of them with you, since the ficdom appears to be... under siege.

I suppose I should preface this by saying that I tend to gravitate toward more of the darker S&M-y stuff but I pulled a few authors that I thought would be palatable for everyone. Most of these authors and stories are really famous and widely popular, too. An extra added bonus is a lot of universities use these books for various classes so you won't look like to a total fucking degenerate buying them from Barnes & Noble.

But people will probably still stare a little.

Story of O - Pauline Reage. This, I shit you not, was the first erotic story I read. EVER. I was horrified and turned on and then even more horrified that I was turned on. If there is one erotic novel you should ever read - this is it.


The Tropic of Cancer - Henry Miller. Let's put it this way - it takes some balls to write this shit in the 1930's. And trust me, ladies, he doesn't hold back. At all. Someone wrote this here and I thought it was interesting:
This was written in 1934; a lifetime before Punk Rock, more than a generation before 1960s Counterculture, even before The Beats began to Howl or took their act On the Road. Tropic of Cancer is primordial. I don’t think I read my first Miller so much as absorbed it. I felt Miller’s power with words emanating off the page, coming up through by fingertips.
The Pearl - Dudes. Living in the Victorian era had to suck, hands down, when it came to sex. These folks were so fucking uptight it was ridiculous. I mean, we're talking prude with a capital P. Of course, when one lives in a totally sexually repressed society one tends to act out.

And by "act out" I mean doin' your sister and whipping the maid... then stickin' it in her pooper.

The Pearl was a magazine that was printed in London during the Victorian era and the fuckery, buggery and shenanigans that it contains are just... amazing.

And a little creepy. I have to be honest.

Next on the list is Delta of Venus by Anais Nin. She was buds, and probably lovers, with Henry Miller so you know where this is going. This is a collection of h-a-w-t stories and I made the mistake of reading this on a flight and actually considered rubbing one out in the bathroom until I remembered that I was claustrophobic, which apparently trumps horny-ness.



Oh, and this was also quoted from her, which makes me love her even more:
I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.
Have we had enough of erotic literature? Looking for something a little more... base?

Look no further, whores.

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty - Ann Rice writing as A.N. Roquelaure. This is actually a trilogy of mostly S&M porn but I only read the first two. Don't get me wrong, they were amazing and made me all mushy inside but then one day I found the second book in my older brother's room and, when I was done dry-heaving because my sibling and I apparently read the same pornographic novel, every time I tried to pick it up again I thought of my brother and, well, total buzzkill. Biiiiiiiig time.

{Shivers}

If you're a Darkward, Masterward, Domward fan then pay attention. If there is one series that you need to, you absolutely MUST read it's this:


Carrie's Story and Safe Word - Molly Weatherfield. This is more modern erotic but it is seriously, hands down, without a doubt, the best two S&M books I've read. Carrie is a quirky, intellectual graduate student who isn't quite sure what to do with her life. So she becomes a slave. Safe Word is a continuation of Carrie's Story. You won't regret reading these, I promise.

Welp, there you have it! While I'm sure that many of you have already read a few of these (because you are a huge group of insatiable, amazing bitches) I hope that a few of you become, er, a little "enlightened" through my suggestions.

So, stock up on the C or D (or nine-volt?) batteries, locate the S/O and get to reading!

P.S. - If you're interested in recs like this, let me know in the comments and we'll be sure to do more!

85 comments:

  1. I always love your recs. I have only read one on this list and I don't even remember how or why - Story of O - but is was really good. I will have to check out the others.

    wv: ingumora - in gomorra - how appropriate

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  2. Oh my god...this was awesome. YES! Y.E.S!!! Do more posts like this!!! First of all, your writing is insanely addicting. Secondly, i am trying to figure out how I'm going to buy all of these at once and not look insane. I don't give a fuck. I'm doing it.

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  3. I actually had been thinking about reading the A.N. Roquelaure books for a while. With writing Vampire Diaries, I come across a lot of Anne Rice references and I recently wrote about an article where she said that those fascinated with vampires were really searching for angels. At any rate, I'm highly intrigued to read these since these were written by the same woman who can make that statement.

    You know, everyone fully expects that at some point in the future, there will be a JJ book of erotica out there. LOL

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  4. This is fucking HILARIOUS!!!

    So you might love KStew for this: Once in an interview she said the last book she read was Sexus by Henry Miller. Apparently she really liked it.

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  5. Rec. more please.

    Henry Miller just in general was ready to just let it all hang out. Ahem, "Sexus" - oh boy! There is a bit of rambling in there, but tons of sex and loads of dysfunction. Note, I haven't read Plexus and Nexus but it's on my list of books to get.

    Delta of Venus is amazing and I'm pretty sure she slept with both Henry and June Miller.

    Coming from a childhood where I was reading the height of dysfunction - V.C. Andrews. I thought for the longest time that everyone had sex with a family member because of V.C. Andrews - hence, I was way too young to be reading those books to understand that's not the case.

    Amazing post and it makes me want to re-read some of the novels listed.

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  6. I think I love you even more for this.

    Fanfic has been my 1st foray into smut. I know! What the hell was reading before?

    This is going in the next indigo order. Which ironically enough was already going to contain sex books. Yay fanfiction.

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  7. I forgot to type cute kiddie pic!!! How is it that you don't have a trail of snot out of your nose as most kids do in all pics at that age?

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  8. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty was my introduction to erotic lit. My friend bought the trilogy for me when I was in college. Now I regularly check out http://www.Ellorascave.com for a never ending supply of reading material!

    Oh and btw, you are not the only one who used to put stuff on your head and pretend it was long hair. I used to wear pj bottoms tied withribbons as they nicely simulated long pony tails!

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  9. As always yalls posts are oh so very timely in my life. I am still consumed by fanfic but mentally I can only keep up with so many Bella/Wards plot lines before I'm all... wait is this the one where Edward is all emo? Who's the Dom in this one? Has Bella been collared yet?

    So I'm saying I NEED some new reading material! I can't wait to check into all of these. And I'm not saying I wouldn't buy them in a person but if I can get them on Kindle all the better.

    oh and there's a smutty book club recently formed over at the Fanfic Sandbox. They've even gotten a few authors who've agreed to be interviewed and to give away signed copies of their books. "keepingupwiththekids" is running it and is fab. She is always looking for new recommendations for books and authors- smut and non-smut welcome. Check it out if you haven't already.
    http://www.fanfictionsthesandbox.com

    Thanks!! you ladies always leave me laughing!

    Cheers,
    Ouiser

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  10. JJ I think I just fell in love with you. I already lurved you but now I LOVE you. We like the same books. Kay. I just did a post on The Story of O because I just read it and read it because I just a few months ago, read all three of the Sleeping Beauty books from Anne Rice. I went to pick up her Exit to Eden, and in it mentioned the Story of O, thus why I read that one as well.

    All... amazing. Story of O, simply because it was ahead of it’s time. Sleeping Beauty, because it’s kinky as fuck. Like... I can’t even describe weird shit.

    Anyhoo. I want more recs because clearly you like to read, what I want to read.

    Last, I have heard something about this fanfic shit, and I’m nervous. I have Cinderella; A Tale of Lust up and it’s like Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty. No big deal, right? Well someone tried to post my fanfic on facebook and couldn’t because it was sited as abusive. WTF? Out of all the fanfic out there? Seriously? I don’t know if someone ratted me out, or FF is doing it to all.

    To me this sucks, because FF has the largest audience out there, and to eradicate it’s erotic section would suck donkey dick.

    So I’m looking at real Erotica websites for submission, but they generally only want stories that are under 7,000 word count. What? That’s like three chapters.

    Okay sorry for long comment, I need more info on fuckfic too & what they are doing.

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  11. I've read some of these! I own both the book and the dvd of Story of O, and I was wondering if you would mention the Beauty trilogy!

    It's really such a shame that you skipped the third book, tho! I understand why, but I always liked that one the best! Anne Rice wrote some of the hottest erotica back in the day. Most of it was bisexual and borderline, if not heavily BDSM. But so damn hot! She had another pen name that she wrote under that was a tiny bit tamer, but still so hot. Rampling? I can't remember. Anyway, Exit to Eden and Belinda were very good, too.

    I was always strangely enamored with smut and porn from a very early age, too! It's nice to meet a fellow natural born perv!

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  12. the first erotic books i read were the sleeping beauty ones. i seriously can't watch a parade with horses the same because of it. the ending of the last book however was really good!

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  13. Yep, I have read a couple of these. But I am headed to Amazon right now for the rest! I love it all!

    I started reading smut at the age of twelve i think. My daughter is twelve...thank GOD it still grosses her out and she reads Tween Sci Fi. Whoo! Couldn't have paid me to put down the Jude Devereaux novels for Sci Fi when I was twelve. BAH!

    Great Post

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  14. LOVE the recs have been concidering for some time as to weather or not to order the anne rice beauty books was a big fan of the vampire chronicles from a young age i to useto dry hump things from a very young age and get yelled at and told it was for when i was older i unfortunately don't do it as much now esp in public lol, i do love me Edward dominating and vamp. keep up the good work

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  15. testing my new avi---please ignore me !!!

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  16. I've heard a lot about the Story of O but have yet to read the book or see the movie. I saw the movie Lady Chatterley's Lovers which was good.
    First smutty book I read was The Happy Hooker when I was 14. Check out this You Tube video: Tom Lehrer- Smut at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pva35TFiBfI
    I found the link on a hunterhunting tweet.

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  17. Oh this is awesome. I have skimmed some Anais Nin before and I have read Tropic of Virgo but the rest I have not yet read. I love this! Oh and I love you to JJ...but you already know that.

    I am so fucking confused by this whole fanfic thing. What the hell is going on? Don't be taking my smutcrack away from me...I am an addict and I need my fix dammit! I want to bitchslap whoever is behind this.

    Oh and JJ you were one cute kid.

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  18. One of my good friends gifted me with a pop up book. It was the pop up Kama Sutra Book. Tons of fun.

    I also have an Anais Nin book. Unfortunately it's not a pop up book. Must confess though, stories containing incest squick me so have yet to finish Nin's book.

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  19. Ok, firstly, Mrs.P - ATTENTION WHORE!

    Ok, had to get that out of the way. Thanks for the recs JJ, I haven't read any of those, but I'm def going to - you know why? Because they're not from the Young Adult section and I was starting to wonder if I would ever by a book written for grown ups again, YAY!

    Just wondering whether Claustrophobia would also trump mile high sex with The Precious?

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  20. Hey guess what. I've never read erotica (other than 1 1/2 fan fic stories).

    Where the fuck have I been?

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  21. Ha! Ha! I just realized I made a fanfic slip in my comment...I meant to say I have read Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller not Tropic of Virgo...but I have read that too. Teehee!

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  22. Boy, I am really going to out myself now.
    First - that classic of 18th century smut: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. (aka Fanny Hill)So classy my copy is Oxford U Press. Comes with footnotes and everything.
    Then a pile of Victorian reprints: The Romance of Lust; The Boudoir (a short-lived journal) and finally The Intimate Memoirs of an Edwardian Dandy. Smut just seems more elegant when it's historical. It becomes legitimate research.

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  23. "Anonymous" here - that was pretty funny since I logged into my account. Must be the same gremlin that keeps deleting my facebook posts.

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  24. JJ, should i be looking for you at the next munch???


    ;)

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  25. Cute pic of you at 6. Does reading Penthouse to your SO count as erotic literature??

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  26. @VitaminR: thanks for not making me feel like a total idiot. This fanfic shit is messing me up too - but people keep saying it's nothing to worry about. Well, I'm gonna watch out for myself here and prepare for the worst case scenario and keep checking in on my fave stories and see which ones have been relocated. After all 4 of them already have.

    It started with AngstGodess having to change Wide Awake on fanfiction.net to a censored version, which I didn't care so much about since she has the smutty version on Livejournal and I've got it on pdf as well. But it made me strangely worried.

    And last night I was going to enjoy myself with a little Tara Sue Me Domward and Oh. My. God. It was gone! I nearly had a heart attack. You know the startled, chocked feeling when adrenaline rushes through your entire body and it get's all numb for a second, all sound disappears and stuff? That's what happened! Over a bloody fanfic!

    So yeah, JJ might think I'm totally stupid and need to cool my sorry pathetic ass down, but I'm still going on the safe side making sure my fanfic smut obsession is not being messed with. I'm having addiction issues with this. It's like... my own personal brand of heroine (did I just write that? Corny...)

    And maybe later I'll actually be able to read some smut that is not Twilight related. After all I read Jean M Auel's Clan of the Cavebear books when I was 12. But I don't know... Is there an Edward in it? I need an Edward...

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  27. That'd be fucking right! I'm a novice with the fanfic having only just discovered it a few month's ago and now there's the threat they'll take it off me!
    @Swedensara. I found the Dominant & another one that I can't remember the name of (sorry) but it said it's the sequel, on Twilighted.
    We used to have a wonderful magazine here called Australian Womens Forum which was very similar to playboy except (obviously) it was for women. It had erotica, full frontal centrefolds, education on all aspects of your sex & love life, you name it but sadly the censorship ship board here couldn't handle it and it went out of production. Looks like wowsers run the entire world and you can only enjoy porn if you are a man.
    w/v phings: Phings look sus over at fanfic land batman.

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  28. @Stacked Like Sookie: Yeah, I bookmarked Tara Sue Me on twilighted yesterday... Now Emancipation Proclamation has lost a few chapters on FFnet as well, and will probably be totally removed since there's no point in having a story missing chapters up there. It's now on http://kharizzmatik-ep.blogspot.com/ instead.

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  29. Oh gawd, I need to purchase me one of these... or all! I'm sure my husband would thank me.

    I do hope that all that fanfic bull is just that - bull.

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  30. Thanks for the recs JJ--and yeah, keep em comin. I'm so f-ing pissed at ff right now--what the hell is their problem? Do their advertisers know that they're kicking off some of their most viewed stories? What can we do about this? I don't mind Twilighted that much, but it is just frankly not as user friendly and reading against that black screen hurts my eyes--plus there are no alert emails, that I can figure out how to turn on. Does anyone have any ideas of what we can do? Now I'm gonna have to go back to every story I've begun that is not finished and find it again somehow--I'm so pissed (I know I'm repeating myself)... arghghghgh

    blah, angry rant angry rant

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  31. @M474: Totally agree about Twilighted - It looks pretty with the banners and pictures and all, but it's not user friendly. I haven't figured out the story alerts either - checked the faq but the only function I found was the "add story to favourites" button and I don't know if that automatically gets you an alert email. Sure hope so, though...

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  32. To get alerts on Twilighted you need to make sure you have favourited the story, then go to Account info in the top bar. Select edit prefences and check the box for update alerts. You can change the background to white as well, someone put about it the other day, was it by clicking some icon in the top corner? I'm sure someone will come along and help.

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  33. Is it wrong that I'm probably going straight for "Carrie's Story"? I'm with you JJ, I totally was always looking for dirty shit to read as a kid. I used to love reading Jackie Collins as a teen for all the smut. LOL!

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  34. Perfect post for Hump Day, JJ ;)

    I was a virgin to erotica in print until fanfic, which I quickly became addicted to. So it would figure that I finally find it, and they start taking it down.

    So thank you for this post and for the recs. I have been wondering what it would take to get me out of the Twilight-related reading bubble, and this is it.

    Lisa

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  35. Serious question...Can you rent erotica at the library?

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  36. Hey there! Glad you're likin' the recs. :) I'll keep that in mind when I go to buy more smut.

    I do have to say that most that I recommended in this post, the exception being the sleeping beauty and Carrie's Story series are mostly historical erotic literature.

    @SwedenSara - I don't think you're stupid for being upset about the fan fic shenanigans!! I just haven't figured out what is going on so I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

    I will say this - it sounds like a bunch of people are going around and reporting these stories. If there is one thing I absolutely loathe it's censorship. If you don't like it, don't fucking read it. I'm not sure this is the case but... I'll keep ya posted.

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  37. Oh, fuck me gently with a chainsaw - the Jenny comment above is from me.

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  38. I found out (thanks twitter!) that EP was reported by a person who apparently thought it was a great story, but it didn't follow "the rules" and they apparently liked rules... Lame!

    @Jeny: Good to know you don't think I'm stupid! I think I'm stupid all the time... *rolling eyes at myself* LOL

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  39. Okay....so I pretty much already revealed the depths of my depravity in THIS POST where I shared my penchant for posing my Barbies in the positions I saw in my dad's Hustler mags...which it turns out he was NOT successfully hiding in his sock drawer. What a naive fucker.

    Can you believe however, that I have not read a single fucking ONE of these books?!? I mean...these recs have shaken the foundation of my sexual being, JJ. I was going to wait for an Ipad, but fuck it. I'm ordering the B&N e-reader, The Nook, TO-FUCKING-DAY so that I can inconspicuously download every single one of these books and drown myself in erotica.

    The control you have over me JJ...it's a tad bit unsettling. And yet, I'm kinda turned on by it.

    MC
    The Cougar's Den

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  40. I saw my first porn vid in college, called The Autobiography of A Flea. I found out a few years later it was based on a victorian erotica novel when I saw it in a bookstore. Of course I HAD to purchase it (and several others including The Pearl). Like JJ said, it's kinda freaky weird but still hot LOL

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  41. Story of O was also my first smutty story (well other than my mom's bodice-rippers, and that doesn't really count because it's NOT the same AT ALL lol). I had this book hidden in my bedroom. Maybe this helps to explain why our tastes in porn tend to be so similar. Huh - who knew?!

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  42. nice! Sleeping Beauty was the first erotic novel I ever read. I was 17 and I remember thinking I was too young to read it. HA! w.e. Those were good books.
    Right now I'm going the the Black Dagger Brotherhood. I'm not sure I'd call it full erotica, but it's good reads anyways.

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  43. As for the FF.net debacle, it sucks balls (and not in the good way)! I have cut & pasted several of my favorite stories cause I must be able to reread them! I agree with others that reading stories on Twilighted is not friendly at all.
    I don't know anything about designing/creating websites but I'd donate money or whatever to start one for our smutty fics!!

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  44. and apparently I can't type when talking about all of this. I meant to say "I'm reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood." *facepalm*

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  45. To say I am devestated by the news about the fanfic stories would be a gross understatement.

    I have a twilighted account, but that leaves me stuck on my computer and I do almost all of my reading off of Kindle.

    I have not been able to download stories with any success like I have fanfic.net.

    Has anyone found a fanfic downloader that works with twilighted.net?

    If fanfic.net really goes this route, twilighted.net is going to need to accept that they are now the go to spot and get their site more user friendly because I don't think I am alone in saying it isn't that user friendly at the moment.

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  46. Oh Thank you GOD!

    I always thought my wiring was messed up because I was reading smut at such a young age.

    Once again the World of Twitardia has made me feel even more "normal" about what I am in to.

    LOVE YOU ALL!

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  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  48. @TinkerBell - would you want to borrow it? I thought about it -but then quickly decided that since I didn't know who's er - hands- it'd been in that I'd rather just own my own.

    p.s. the deleted comment was mine. I had an english fail. Sry!

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  49. I am disgruntled and dismayed at the news of fanfic.net removing the good and dirty stuff. Being a late bloomer to fanfic reading, I just finished Wide Awake, and have a list about a mile long of must-reads. What??!!! They can't do this to me! Maybe it's time to go old fashioned, and get an actual book, ya know...with paper?

    @JJ I love the book recs. I took a path similar to Honolulu Girl, reading Anne Rice, which led me to the Story of O. That one quickly became my go-to gift for friends and horny relatives. I also have Delta of Venus. I regularly update my Visual Bookshelf on FB. It's good to know people still read! I thought everyone had traded books for Twitter schmitter.

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  50. Can somebody fill me in on what could be happening with fanfiction.net? I'm worried!

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  51. Twi-obsessionwillbethecauseofmydivorceFebruary 10, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    @ SwedenSara The Clan of the Cave Bear books, my Mom had those and I used to take them and read them when I was like 10 LOL. Those and the Thornbirds.
    I just finished Water for Elephants over the weekend (not erotica obviously) but a really good book none the less and it's supposed to be RPattz next movie.
    Anyhoo that sucks about FF.net wonder what's going on it's really fishy.

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  52. Too funny! I am glad to know I am not the only girl out there that actually prefers the S&M type books and men that dominate in them. I only discovered this about 6 months after I first read the Twilight saga. Talk about going from one end of the spectrum to the other!! HAHA! I think I will look for these book online now as I am new to this I haven't even heard of these. Thanks!!

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  53. Note from out here in lit-ville: Anais Nin and Henry Miller? Definitely lovers and definitely fucking awesome. That's the literary world's term for them. Fucking awesome. And, if I recall correctly, it was Nin who had published first, knew Miller in Paris, and when she thought his work was good enough, introduced him to a publisher and BANG! We get the Tropics and an opening like: "I am living at the Villa Borghese. There is not a crumb of dirt anywhere, nor a chair misplaced. We are all alone here and we are dead."
    Kick. Ass. And it gets better from there on in. Literate and shit hot.

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  54. Well, well! Happy Hump Day to me!!! I'm off to re-stock my Kindle!

    JJ - you are my hero. This post totally brightened my day.

    Also, the crap over at FF.net really sucks. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'd totally rally to stop it if I could figure out how!

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  55. I have not read erotica, never even crossed my mind. I guess I'll be starting with The Story of O. Thanks for enlightening moi:)

    Saw a great twi video on youtube this am. Type in: twilight kiss scene tribute.
    There is some hot footage in there that I hadn't seen before.
    See, I guess I am a perv after all.

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  56. Hmm, taking notes and making a list for reading material. Thanks JJ & everyone!

    One that I bought, geeze, over 10 years ago, is called Ladies’ Own Erotica the info says, “Tales, Recipes, & Other Mischiefs by Older Women”, By Kensington Ladies’ Erotica Society.

    That is my smut rec. They have a couple of different covers because the paperback that I have is pink. None the less, it has some funny stories by the Ladies’. They put their fic into a little society & into a book—hmm isn’t that us? LOL

    Oh, I guess they have another book too, Look Homeward Erotica, I don’t have that one. I did a “Look inside” and the first story is called Macho Woman—have a look by going to amazon.com. LOL

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  57. JJ- I heart you hard! Thanks for the recs!

    The Thorn Birds and Clan of the Cave Bear- omg, that was me starting at 13! I guess we were all pervy little girls..

    The Delta of Venus is excellent- better than her other one, Little Birds. I do also like Henry and June- which covers her relationship with Henry Miller and his wife.

    JJ- read the third Sleeping Beauty chronicle. It's worth it.

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  58. oh, jj, you post these things just for me, don't you?

    ok ok, i know you don't post them JUST for me, but i love it anyway.

    anais is my hero!
    besides her prodigious talent for writing erotica, her writing style is just so damn beautiful. i get so caught up in her stories that i forget they're erotica until the sexin' starts.

    p.s. my mom liked me to have short hair when i was little, so i would frequently put panty hose on my head to mimic long hair...

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  59. I too have been reading smut from a young age. I had older brothers and raided their porn stash on a regular basis. I prefer BDSM stories, they remind me of a cough*special*cough relationship I had at 17, we were all about the kinky fuckery.

    I have been trying to read the Golden Lemon nominated fics but with 3 days till the close of voting I know I won't get thru them all.

    So much erotica, so little time.

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  60. Yeah, so I've been trying to keep my shit together while I am fearing that my smutty goodness will be banished to less friendly sites or I won't be able to find it at all. So thanks for this. I too was an early lover of the smut. I found My Secret Garden in my mom's lingerie drawer when I was 13 and it was the best book I had ever read. Re-discovering smut now through FF has been such a freaking blessing - both for me and the hubs.
    What I'm saying is, yes, please keep it coming.

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  61. I think it is a great idea, keep it coming. I love my FF smut but if it's disappearing then yes please keep it coming!

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  62. It is far from erotica but I still own my original copy of "Forever", that I stole from my friends older neighbor, with dog-eared sex scen pages and all.

    Can someone please provide me with a fucking tutorial for Twilighted. I have tried to creat a login and figure it out like sex times now...I can't even fucking get in. I gave up a while ago but it looks like I have to overcome my impatience to get my fix. I swear I am not totally technotarded.

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  63. Ooops I had a little case of Sexlexia there. Bwahahaha! I typed 'sex' instead of 'six'--how freaking appropriate.

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  64. I've just put up a post about favourite fanfics and where they are (eg. which ones are cross posted to twilighted.net)
    Also reminder for everyone to start downloading their favourite ff to their ipods and iphones if you want to make sure you keep them from disappearing

    http://twilightcupcake.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/fanfic-get-it-while-its-hot/

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  65. @VitaminR---LOL I have that too but I don't remember where. I never read the other Judy Blume books, but saw the Fudge? TV show.

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  66. @VitaminR- YES "Forever" was my first real sexy read. It was all downhill from there.

    Oh Judy Blume...what you have done to me.

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  67. When I first saw your headline, I thought WHAT THE F! I just recently discovered (with help) fanfiction and the ones I'm following might get pulled before they are done? What will obsess about now?! I read the terms of service again and hopefully it won't cut any of my favs. Has anyone checked the Altered Lion Sacrificial Lamb blog page? They post LOTS of fanfic reccs.

    @STY- The Anne Rice series were probably the first I read when I was in, well let's just say not yet legal, disturbing at times yet high on the eroticism. If you like this try A Picture of Dorian Gray.

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  68. @VitaminR and rottymama - How about "Are You There, God? It's Me Margaret"

    Not sexy.

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  69. @ Z Any Mouse - or the adult sequel from Mrs.P "Are you there, Rob? It's me, Margaret"

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  70. The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward is amazing. If you haven't read it already you need to check it out.

    Love this post!

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  71. @Stan - LOL, that sounds much sexier. Or, "Are You There, Rob? It's Me, Zany Mouse, In the Attic With Nibbles"

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  72. Soooo excited about this post! I have just gone to ebay and bought the sleeping beauty trilogy and the two by Molly Weatherfield. thanks!!! I so love Nin. That is one of my fav quotes from her! I have just wrapped up the black dagger brotherhood series as well and I highly recommend!

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  73. You should start a book club. Do it.

    I've read all of those except "Carrie's Story & SafeWord"...(aaaand I may or may not be on Amazon.com, atm.)

    Luckily, I've only had to purchase one (in-store). "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty." The pimply dude at the register didn't stare..sorta. He kept glancing around nervously. Maybe looking for a swift exit?

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  74. ok its scary how similiar our book history is. i could find the story of o and sleeping beauty trilogy in 2 minutes. speaking of childhood reads- i remember passing around sharon green's warrior series, at the lunch table. big buff blond men making the women submit and wear bands. is it getting warm in here. maybe i need to revisit that series.

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  75. OMG. Please do this again. After you've read Exit To Eden by Anne Rice as Anne Rampling. Holy effing A!! So hot, to well-written...you'll love it!!!
    Strangely enough, I have both that and Delta of Venus within reach of my desk now...

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  76. http://thetwilightawards.blogspot.com/2010/02/pulled-fics.html

    They're compiling a list of pulled fics, please help them out if you know of any others and/or where they're posted now!

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  77. You cannot forget Belinda also by Anne Rice (although I think she used her pen name for that book)...about the underage girl who gets into with an older man.

    And then there's that book by Judy Blume (yeS, THAT Judy Blume). The name escapes me although I think it's called "Forever". If memory serves me well, it's about a girl who meets a guy over the summer, has sex for the first time and how we learn that the guy has named his penis "Ralph".

    And I believe someone mentioned Flowers in the Attic and If There Be Thorns by V.C. Andrews about a brother and sister having an incestuas relationship.

    A lot of fucked up writing out there, lol.

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  78. thanks for the recs! I grew up on slutty romance novels and thought "throbbing manhood" was in everyone's vocabulary until i turned about 18... now i can graduate to slutty "literature"!! it sounds way smarter.

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  79. Right, VC Andrews books... Screwed up but still hot. Read them in english when I was 14 and my family went on a 4 weeks vacation in the US. (We ran out of swedish books...) Mom read them first and then gave them to me when she finished.

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  80. Well, I'm not around as much so I'm catching up on posts, but this is great! First, I will Fuh-Reak if the fics are gone. I mean I damn near melted down when the Office was gone, but luckily I got a copy of it *phew*.
    Anyway, I read The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by accident. I was a HUGE Anne Rice addict and I knew she wrote these books under a pseudonym. So i picked up the box set....well HELLO! I was like 14, so they were CRAZY to me. Eventually friends borrowed them and I ended up having one random book left. It's in the garage somewhere LOL.
    I have taken to saving my favorite fics in word files to read for ever and ever. So sue me.....
    I will have to check out the others reccd here- but my problem lies in the fact that I'm not really a fan of the S&M story lines, probably why my Sleeping Beauty book is in the garage and not my bedroom.

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  81. The drama at FF.net is ridiculous. I don't mind prudish people if they keep it to themselves and stop trying to dictate it to others. What happened to fucking vanilla and fucking chocolate? Not to mention Rocky Road. Dammit.

    Anyway, I think this was posted already, but here again are the steps to making Twilighted so the site doesn't have the black background:

    1. Login on the main site (http://www.twilighted.net)
    2. Go to Account Info
    3. Click "Edit Preferences"
    4. Click drop down menu next to "Skin" & select "white"
    5. Click "Submit"
    6. If you try it and don't like it, to return to the classic Twilighted skin, you'll need to go back through the same procedure, selecting the skin called "Twilighted," and clicking submit, but then you have to clear your cache and re-login in order for it to go back to black.

    The site is still very un-user friendly, but at least I can read the stories without going blind. So to speak.

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  82. Thank you, Jude! I tried this a few days ago, but the only skin available was the Twilighted skin. When I tried again after reading your comment it actually worked - and now I won't risk going blind either... Yay!

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  83. For everyone looking for the ebook versions of JJ's erotica recommendations, I have a list of them here.

    http://wp.me/pLLHu-cJ

    And a list of favourite fanfics and where they may have moved to

    http://wp.me/pLLHu-bU

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  84. Perfect post for Hump Day, JJ ;)

    I was a virgin to erotica in print until fanfic, which I quickly became addicted to. So it would figure that I finally find it, and they start taking it down.

    So thank you for this post and for the recs. I have been wondering what it would take to get me out of the Twilight-related reading bubble, and this is it.

    Lisa

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