Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Want To Kiss Those Waxy Lips Right Off!

You may find this weird, but I'm a huge fan of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. I spent a month in London a loooong time ago when I was 20 (wow, a really long time ago) and the Wax Museum was one of my favorite stops (right after Stonehenge which was just fucking nuts!). I spent a good part of the day wandering through the various areas of that freaking museum just amazed at how realistic this shit is. I especially loved the Chamber of Horrors but I think you already knew I was a bit demented.

Sorry, I have a thing for capital punishment.

And if I couldn't get enough of the waxy folks, I also hit the Rock Circus, another part of Madame Tussaud's featuring rock stars only. The cool thing about this place is that you put on headphones and as you walk around, the music changes to whoever you happen to be ogling at that moment. It's designed in a ramp style so you walk upwards until you reach the top where Robert Plant stands singing Stairway To Heaven. Very cool (especially for us Zeppelin fans!).

If I were a teenager in the 70's, I totally would have been a Zeppelin groupie.

More recently, I hit the Madame Tussaud's in NYC. I'm a little older, a little bolder, and of course my girlfriend and I had to get all silly and shit and have our pictures taken with a hundred different characters. It was fun to go back and look at some of the photos - and imagine my surprise when I found this one. Guess my obsession with vampires started a while ago. Although he is definitely not a VILF for sure! Yeesh, I think he wants to suck my blooooood!

I definitely don't need to see this vampire naked.

Why am I telling you the history of my wax fetish? Well... I just read that Robert Pattinson is currently being made into a wax figure that will show up in both the London and New York museums on March 25. The story (found here) says the press release "sounds suspiciously like a cover for Robsessed Tussaud employees to indulge themselves studying hundreds of photos and poring through hours of video to ensure that they capture RPattz's trademark sultry expression." Hmmm... I think I'd offer to do that for free. Come to think of it, I DO do that for free!

Dude, reinforce those lips... they're going to take a licking!

God, I really hope they get this right! From the initial photo, I'm loving the smirk. I'm totally thinking this is going to warrant a field trip to NYC because fuck me, this might be the closest I ever get to getting my picture taken with him... Or kissing him... Or dry humping the fuck out of his leg. I have a feeling that poor waxy Rob is going to get sexually abused like nobody's business. They may have to rope him off or keep him behind glass to keep all us sluts from kissing his shiny red wax lips right off. Or from stripping him naked to find out if he's anatomically correct (and hopefully well-endowed.) I know I'm going to try and sneak in for a lick or two. Depending on how intoxicated I am, maybe I'll even try and drag him into a closet and have my way with him.

Level with me whores... will you be making a Madame Tussaud's pilgrimage anytime soon? If so, what are your plans for our waxy precious? Or am I the only pathetic sicko who's excited to see if they make him sparkle?

35 comments:

  1. I'll be in London in June on the way to Italy. Very tempting. Seeing as my husb is already going to Volterra I wonder if he'll object to us going to the was museum too. I admit it's a bit creepy.
    Can you imagine Rob standing there looking at himself going - jeez I hate that fucking hair!

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  2. damn...that is a little bit sexier than I expected...lol! although I feel like the hair should be a little bit messier for it to be really authentic.

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  3. Madame Tussaud's creeps me out. I keep waiting for the figures to talk or move or something. I wouldn't mind seeing how Rob turns out though. I will wait for your pictures of it I think :)

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  4. @LKW - Crap, you make me laugh EVERY time. "...dry humping the fuck out of his leg. I have a feeling that poor waxy Rob is going to get sexually abused like nobody's business."

    The hair looks a little too Elvis. Hopefully they'll work on that more. If they ever take the wax peeps on a tour, I would buy a ticket to see The Precious. But I'm just not crazy enough to travel across the continent for it. *hangs head in shame*

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  5. Hi Latchkey! I still want to be a Led Zeppelin groupie. Robert Plant aged well.:)

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  6. I would definitely go, but don't know when we'll be able to afford a European vacation. I read about this, too, though, and Mme Toussaud's is now definitely on my must-see list whenever we DO make it over there!

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  7. I will definitely venture to NYC all the way from snowy Colorado to satiate my desire for RPattz...Of subject you guys, did anyone realize Victoria's shirt in Twilight says, "Kiss me, I'm Irish " or am I just slow

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  8. I won't be making a special trip to NYC anytime soon just for this, but when I eventually do get there for a vacation in however many years that is from now, I will make a special trip to this musuem to see the Precious. I wonder if they will make him sparkle...I know what they could use for the sparkly penus! LOL!!

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  9. OMG LKW you outted yourself to the bloggy world...Great pic! LMAO.

    I too read about the wax Rob. I would love to see it/him in person. I think I'd get all goofy and starstruck, then try to hump his leg as well!

    I have been to London several times. My Mom was born there and I still have cousins who live outside the city. Unfortunately I never went to Madame Tussuads when I was in London or in NY...it's a must-do now!

    xoxo
    J

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  10. oh LKW - you so funny.

    "dry humping the fuck out of his leg"

    and

    "poor waxy Rob is going to get sexually abused like nobody's business".

    seriously? where the fuck do you come up w/this shit?

    and yes, i am sooo up for a trip to NY to hump his leg too!

    veriword: fockeder

    i plan to fockeder rob's waxy leg when i vist w LKW...

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  11. They are definitely going to have to encase him in climate controlled glass. Just the heat coming from my nether region might cause some waxy drooping and meltdown.

    I love the wax museum in London! Next time I am there I will get my photo with wax Rob....quickly before I melt him. ;-)

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  12. well you lucky bitches, I live in friggen Australia, so no Madame T's for this little Twitard *tear*

    NOT TO MENTION THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE-NOTHER MONTH FOR NEW MOON DVD RELEASE!!! NO FAAAAIR!

    I've just cheered myself up with THIS Eclipse-spoiler filled youtube vid
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD_i08H2GYA&feature=player_embedded

    I know, I know, some of you are staying spoiler virgins, but bugger that! this is so worth it. THere are shots of "the bed scene-leg hitch"involving a mighty good showing or Rob's..i mean Edward's...chest (with that delicious spattering of hair he's got)...it's almost too much for me. I'm very uncomfortable in my seat now...time to go buy some gold sheets!! lol

    enjoy it loves!! and come on STY & JJ, just give up the virgin act botha you!! watch this vid!!! (and the one on "a life on our No List" (its on the right side of your page)...Rob chest is too hot to wait for...

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  13. LOL LKW! I don't have a trip to London planned, but if one of my Brit Twi-Ho's suggested a Tussaud's pilgrimage then I might be persuaded ;o)

    I agree about the lips too, my friend knew someone who paid £50 for the Edward Twilight cinema cut-out, then when they got it in the light at home they could see it was covered in everyone's manky lip marks where they'd kissed it, so take an anti-bacterial wipe for before you plant your lips on him.

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  14. Wow, that is awesome! Not making the pilgrimage anywhere except maybe to my parents' fridge, cause I'm flat out broke.

    Can't wait to see how Rob turns out. Looking at his photo, he doesn't look much like himself, but I trust them. I hope.

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  15. I'm sooo going to see him when I finally hit the ground of London (whenever that will be...). But I think there will be so many girls so to catch up with him I may have to use a tazer *evillaughter*... Awwww

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  16. LOL! Looks like I'm not the only with a bit of a creepy wax fetish! I'm wondering if they're going to an Edward Cullen look with the bouffant hair do - if so, you're right, I don't think Rob will be happy with it... HA!

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  17. I love the wax figures. We were jsut there in november. They say that Brad Pitt's blothes have been stolen several times since he has been a figure. I imagine the same will happen to Rob. They also say that they have to change Brad's clothes alot as well, because of all of the lipstick stains.
    I think the people at the place are well versed are crazy people and will be able to handle it. I think I will go see it, but i may wait a little while so that i don't have to wait in liine forever just to see him up close.

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  18. I would definitely LOVE to get my hands on a waxy Rob.

    Unfortunately, it appears like we have a waxy Randy Travis instead.

    Doesn't do as much for me.

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  19. I have to admit I am a little worried but I guess we'll have to wait and see what they unveil! If they don't get the coloring JUST right it could be a fail... Oh please don't let this be a fail - because like LKW this is probably the closest I will ever get to the precious - lol!

    : )

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  20. Oh LKW, once again you make me laugh long, long time.
    Oooh, oh so tempting to do that - ALL of it. Humping his fake legs might truly be as close as any of us get to those real getaway sticks. Will you promise to tell us what his wax lips taste like? Wax? Cherries? Heaven?
    And yes, please do take a peek down his pants and fill us in on that situation. You know we all talk about it WAY too much!
    Love your posts!

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  21. LMAO! Oh my god...what is going to happen to that statue...can you imagine? they are going to have to put it behind some glass or something, for sure.

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  22. I'm crossing my fingers that the Madame Tussaud's in Las Vegas will have Rob soon too!!! It really is awesome how you can walk around and touch (or more, as in LKW's case!) all of the figures. I imagine I would spend an embarrassing amount of time there just staring...

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  23. Yay! I love Madame Tussaud's! I will definitely make a pilgrimage to the Rob figure and turn it into an inappropriate photo op! Anytime I'm in a city that has a Madame Tussaud's, I go. My absolute favorite picture of myself is at the one in Vegas grabbing Frank Sinatra's ass. The Elvis figure was a big let down for me because it only sort of looks like him, but I still took a picture of me about to lick his face. Yep, I'm mature.
    @Cupcake Donna - Waxy Randy Travis has me cracking up.

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  24. @Twired Jen - That's the very first thing I thought of, too! I had to reread the paragraph and make sure it was LKW in the picture and not her girlfriend.

    @LKW - Thanks for sharing the picture and the post. I got to go to London my junior year of high school with the French Club. I agree with Dangrdafne, it totally creeped me out because they were so life-like and you thought they were going to move at any moment. Having said that, I don't think I would be creeped out at all by the thought of Rob coming to life. Gah!

    @Em - I hope they get the hair right, too.

    Lisa

    LMAO!!!! My word ver is manti.

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  25. I need to see the finish product. They really do amazing mock ups of people these days, but I've never been into that.
    But... I'm not going to lie either. If I was able to get a picture with the wax figure. I would so do it. It's a step up for me, from the cardboard Edward.

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  26. I can't wait to see how it turns out! I don't think I'll be making any trips to London or NY any time soon. Too bad though.

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  27. Um yeah, I find the whole wax thing creepy.

    While I love the smirk, I feel like it doesn't look like him.

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  28. You so crack me up @LKW, dry humping his leg! Yes I do see the precious being sexually abused & they are going to have to do heaps of maintenance on his poor waxy body because of it.
    I so hear you @lusciouslinda53 I'm from Aus too and am so fucking jealous of these ho's having their NM fix already. Where are you, I feel like the only Twitard in the country! I went to RM yesterday & there was only 3 people in the theatre & the old bird behind me thought she knew everything such as "they have finished filming BD & it's going to be 2 movies" but the one that cracked me up was "Kristin was seen buying a preg test recently" WTF?! I'm so wathing your vid rec, spoiler virgin be buggered.

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  29. When I told my husband that I would be molesting a wax figure in public....he said "I hope they don't put him outside to draw people in".

    If they do that he will be ripped apart in seconds....

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  30. I have o say, Robs hair looks more like Elvis'. Yikes. But you're right JJ, no one will be paying attention to anything but his lips...and eyes...and jaw...neck...

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  31. I'm going to try and not be offended that you found out about this of HollywoodCrush (I judge you) rather than TCA where I posted it last week *facepalm*
    - Lorabell
    P.s. I've actually been invited to the London unveiling on Thursday, lol - what's it worth for comedy pics?!

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  32. Booooooo! Wax Rob is creepy looking. I was really hoping it'd be decent. I'd still take inappropriate pictures with him, though.

    @Lorabell, please go and take comedy pics!

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  33. Wax Rob doesn't look anything like him. The wax should be melted and shipped to The Vamp vibrator factory for recycling.

    Speaking of lips...anyone else been singing "Your lips are metal. Your tongue is wide?" I should've looked at those lyrics sooner...

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  34. well you lucky bitches, I live in friggen Australia, so no Madame T's for this little Twitard *tear*

    NOT TO MENTION THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE-NOTHER MONTH FOR NEW MOON DVD RELEASE!!! NO FAAAAIR!

    I've just cheered myself up with THIS Eclipse-spoiler filled youtube vid
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD_i08H2GYA&feature=player_embedded

    I know, I know, some of you are staying spoiler virgins, but bugger that! this is so worth it. THere are shots of "the bed scene-leg hitch"involving a mighty good showing or Rob's..i mean Edward's...chest (with that delicious spattering of hair he's got)...it's almost too much for me. I'm very uncomfortable in my seat now...time to go buy some gold sheets!! lol

    enjoy it loves!! and come on STY & JJ, just give up the virgin act botha you!! watch this vid!!! (and the one on "a life on our No List" (its on the right side of your page)...Rob chest is too hot to wait for...

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  35. I'll be in London in June on the way to Italy. Very tempting. Seeing as my husb is already going to Volterra I wonder if he'll object to us going to the was museum too. I admit it's a bit creepy.
    Can you imagine Rob standing there looking at himself going - jeez I hate that fucking hair!

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