Thursday, April 8, 2010

Eclipse Stills n' Stuff that you've already probably seen because I suck...

Okay, okay, I'm clearly a really shitty spoiler whore. I mean, the movie will probably be out on DVD by the time I get around to checking out all the goodies that are floating around in Twi-dom.

That being said -- it's all Snarkier Than You's fault!! I LOVE the fact that she doesn't go into these kind of posts. I should just start labeling all my posts "spoilers" so I can totally talk shit but I think she'll figure it out. Immediately.

Anyhoo, despite my ultimate slacker-ness, I did manage to come across a few pretty cool stills I figured I'd pass on to you lovely hookers. Ya know, just in case you're hanging out under the same rock as me...



Okay, so it's Alice, Rose, Esme and Carlisle but who is the new chick in back? Jasmin?

I'm starting to wonder if they are making Jasper look like a total twat on purpose because I didn't think anything could be as bad as that deranged Poodle 'do he was sporting in Twilight.

And then I saw New Moon. It seemed to me that they kept the Twilight wig but electrocuted that shit.

Now he just looks like a girl.

It's really a shame because Jackson Rathbone is a pretty good looking dude.

Anyway.



Here we have Jacob running Bella up the mountain -- shirtless, naturally. I'm torn between thinking this is a really awesome still and wondering what would happen if someone tried to run up a mountain carrying me. I'm assuming the end result would be a few hernias or slipped disks.

Oh, who I am kidding. Jacob would probably make it two steps before he would say "fuck this, you need to stop eating french fries and milkshakes for lunch and try exercising once in awhile, Jenny McFatface." Then he would dump my chubby ass on the ground and walk away while flexing his muscles.

Moving on...



Helloooooo, laaaaaaaaaaaaaadies. Ah yes, the leg hitch scene. I mean, I'm assuming this is the leg hitch scene but I could be wrong, which I'm sure you all will (justifiably) rake me over the coals for.

I originally had some snarky comment to make about this picture but then I focused on Edward's facial expression and, more specifically, his mouth and... yeah, what's going on? Where am I?

And his hand that is seductively, almost cupping her ass, actually made my vagina tingle a little.

Because he has really, really nice fingers...

{Shakes head to clear dirty thoughts and wonders if any new fics have been updated lately}

But wait! There's more!

One of our anonymous readers left a link in our comments section for this video. It's like the wham-bam-thank-you-m'am of Eclipse spoilers. Thanks, anonymous!!




I was also trolling over at Confessions of a Twi-Crack Addict and found this -- an Eclipse calendar!



I have to admit that I find this calendar mildly cheesy -- or maybe I'm just bent that Jasper looks like a douche and he's gracing November, which is my birthday month.

Now, if they had this picture of Jacksper instead, I DEFINITELY would be picking up that calendar. And some batteries.




Oh, and of course we can't forget THE grand daddy of pics, the one that I KNOW everyone has been waiting for:


Hey, it's been awhile since Bad Vampire has graced this blog, what can I say.

63 comments:

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the Edward/Bella leg hitch pic. In another window, I am reading Master of the Universe & this pic has improved my visual greatly! Hope my rabbit is ready - Mr. Junkie is out of town.

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  2. LOLOLOL. I have tears running down my face I'm laughing so hard. I was wondering about "Jasmin" myself since I thought vampires didn't get haircuts or that their hair even grew but maybe I was wrong and he just settled on some extensions?

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  3. That calender is so cheesy. Its obviously intended for kids - like a quickly made up Hannah Montana one.
    Yet...I will still buy it.
    A) Because it will piss the boyfriend off.
    And B) Because it will piss the boyfriend off.

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  4. Why are you so mean??? We were going along so well and then that Bad Vampire pic - blech. I must go back and look at the leg hitch picture to save my brain before bed.

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  5. I find Jasper's hair... perplexing, to say the least.

    @Dangrdafne - I'm sorry!! Well, no, I'm not but really? You know you should expect this of me. :) It's only because I love you!!!

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  6. *fans self* yup that leg hitch scene is hawt.

    Well, it's official. I'm playing just the tip. Virginity is for losers.

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  7. What the fuckity fuck is that last picture?

    Am I out of the loop on this or what!

    And the Jacksper picture.... oooh makes my giney tickle.

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  8. Jasmin! Hilarious!! Poor hot hot Jackson... they aren't doing him any justice.

    So here I am... One tab has Wide Awake (rereading now b/c of your last post on fanfic and I'm all nostalgic), the next tab has Twicrack, the other of course Twitarded.... and I'm watching Twilight with the audio commentary.

    I'm always so amazed how horny Catherine is for Rob. it's so freakin' hilarious!

    I'm so glad there are others out there like me. =}

    Does Eblogger purposely give us related w/v words? "realsoxi" C'mon... !! Rob, Jackson - they're REAL-SOXI!

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  9. Whoa....what....is.....going....on? That guy at the end has HUGE tits!! I'm pretty sure more girls are jealous of him than guys. I bet the girls at Victoria's Secret just cringe when they see him coming. He probably always asks to get measured too.

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  10. In the top picture, what's up with all the denim? And is it just me but does Alice not look like she has pooped in her pants the way her jeans are hanging down from her crotch.....

    Now did someone mention *his* fingers - instant lubrication.

    x

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  11. I think the really insightful pull quote from that Behind the Scenes video was from the girl who plays Bree:

    "The story revolves around Bella and Edward. And Jacob. Bella, Edward and Jacob."

    You know, I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm so glad that nugget didn't end up on the cutting room floor.

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  12. Whoa... What the fugity fuck is that last pic???

    @CaClifford-- I'm with ya on all the Twi-tabs...mine are constantly on Twibite and Twitarded and some good fanfic of course!

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  13. Yay for being a just-the-tipper! I stumbled on these stills ages ago, so I don't feel too bad looking at them again. Except any of them that feature Jasper's hair. It's sooo not fair, especially after seeing that Jackson pic. Yum. And I will not be buying that lame-ass calendar. Mostly because the twitchy bitch is on my birthday month.

    @Cupcake Donna: You a South Park fan by any chance?

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  14. That first picture, they are so color coordinated. Bugs me.

    Have you seen the other pics from the leg hitch scene? Not sure if they were part of the leaked bunch or not. There is one where Edward's HUGE hand is right above Bella's boob. Classic high school move.

    Me likey all the make-out pics where Edwards mouth is open. Who cares about vampire venim when you can see Rob tongue?

    I would trade in Eclipse (with the leg hitch) AND Breaking Dawn for one X-rated movie with Rob playing 50-Shades, Beautiful Bastard, Tattword,Domward... You get the picture. Could you imagine?

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  15. @Living with Edward ...Bwuahahahahah

    hmmmmm....leg hitch...long sexy fingers...*sigh*....AA batteries

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  16. @Banshee713
    Of course I am? But why don't I remember that weirdo??

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  18. @Cupcake Donna: I wasn't talking about bad vampire, I was talking about the giney tickle, because I've only ever heard that used on South Park. I don't remember him either, I've only been following this blog since last October, I think.

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  19. Oh, come on you guys. Jasper went and had his hair set so pretty at the salon before the big vampire fight and you guys are being so mean about it! It's not his fault he looks so fierce with a perm. ;) Yeah, okay, seriously, I have no fucking clue what's up with his hair - or Esme's, for that matter, why the fuck is she a dark brunette now?

    LOOOOOOOOOOOVE the leg hitch pic - I had not seen that one yet...

    w/v: "precusn" - it's like the time right before you start searing your fucking head off.

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  20. At first glance I thought the title of this post was Eclipse Scratch & Sniff

    Veri word: norop. Rob's needs no prop to achieve the leg hitch

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  22. @hypovag. i'm stayin an eclipse virgin, so i'm only sorta scanning these comments and nothing DEEP on JJ's post here but oh my:

    HOW. DEEP. IS. YOUR. LOVE.

    how fucking deep? all the way to my lower intestines and right out my ass, you laugh-h00r.

    fucking classic vag-a-lishous humour. rolrflmfaoaipal.

    fucking woke up the dog.

    vw: fautsk.

    fautsk me! hypo vag is on a roll tonite!

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  24. @hv. OMFGLMAO. let's break this bread down, shall we?
    "hv is the roll"...who did all that ummm jammy stuff cum from that's slaathered ummm SPREAD all over your ummm apparent crack there? just WHO split you?

    and ahhh...

    wait for it...

    wait...

    and...

    what do i spy, with my little twatty eye...

    it's a motherfucking SILVER SPOON.

    GAH!

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  28. I must say, I am in love with what they did with Rosalie's hair for all this fightin' stuff. However...Jasmin?! *snort* That's awesome. But seriously, JJ? You had to give us man tits after that FUCKHAWT Jacksper? I didn't know my kadizzle could go from 180 degrees to 0 so fast. God damnit...

    @HypoVag: YES. He is totally a Gibb with that shit. But I was thinking more of a
    Cuz it's just e-mo-tions taking me over. Caught up in sor-row, lost in a song....

    So...funny story. Went into my local sex shop to get a new toy today. Treating myself since the bf will be out of town...And the new chick (must have been, I didn't recognize her) was completely too hands on. Everything she saw me looking at, she ran over to give me a *ehem* demonstration. After a half dozen "mhmm, oh, cool"s, I decided to walk over to the BDSM corner. She fucking followed me over and I got so pissed at her insistence that I asked her if she would put on the gimp mask hanging on the wall. I must have looked serious as shit, because she for SURE put that fucker on. I had to stifle a guffaw, but it didn't stop the guy working behind the check out counter from laughing his ass off...And thanks for the new G Spot vibe, I like that it's neon green.

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  29. Does anyone else notice that at 0.22 on the video, Edward's eyes look red? I'm wondering if the lighting is just making them look that way or if it's a flashback scene from when he was seperated from E&C or if it's a scary Bella dream.

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  30. Does anyone else notice that at 0.22 on the video, Edward's eyes look red? I'm wondering if the lighting is just making them look that way or if it's a flashback scene from when he was seperated from E&C or if it's a scary Bella dream.

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  32. HOLY SHIT it's Bad Vampire!!! We haven't see him for a while, so I suppose we were due, but still...

    Thanks JJ! But this means we won't have to see him for a while, right?

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  33. Picture #1:
    Okay - so the matching denim, their expressions and Jackspers hair all scream CHEESY VAMPIRE CRIME FIGHTERS!!!

    Pic #3: FUCKHAWT! Daaaaammmnnn! I haven't seen that one before.

    @JJ - I forgive you for Bad Vampire just because of the leg hitch pic. :) I have a pic on my phone of a women's bathroom sign where the girl looks like she's hitching her leg. It's SO f'n funny!


    @HypoVag - I was thinking more along the lines of Criss Angel and Adam Lambert. But close! LMAO!!!

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  34. I can't decide whether or not to watch the video...

    I'm a just the tipper. I have limited myself to "official" stuff only, but that video sounds pretty f'n tempting right now.

    I can't cheat. But cheating is more fun now. But it'll be better the less I know. But...

    GAH!!!

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  35. @ Twi-Hearted: Yes I noticed that too! --Pretty sure those are eyes of crimson! I'm thinking its prob a vision illustrating Aro's desire for Edward and Alice to join the Volturi. Also look closely and you'll see Edward is wearing a necklace (perhaps the Volturi pendant?) And his collar is buttoned up all the way, a lot like the Aro and other Volturi wears theirs.

    Mmmm le leg hitch *sigh*... Robward's long ass phalanges grabbing at Bella's thigh and that mouth of his open ever so slightly.. Gah so damn sensual. This is the part of the movie I hope to God they don't skimp on... No lacking on the leg hitchy, sexy times, k Slade? ;)

    Also, Jasper (now forever known as Jasmin: Bawhahahaah) is supposed to be this bad ass stealth fighter.. the Cullen's secret weapon. But I don't think I can take him seriously w/ that atrocity atop his head. Seriously his hair gets progressively worse w/ every movie! WTF?!

    And yeah the calendar is pretty LAME-O :/

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  36. Ok, I feel bad for whoever goes to see Eclipse with me.... because I might fucking dry hump their leg during the leg hitch. No joke.

    And I fucking LOVE that video! Robward running on the treadmill makes ME sweaty and I'm just sitting here. {{wipes brow}} And I don't care if he's wearing bright pink striped socks, I'd still let him jizz in my eye (sorry, inside joke... that one's for you @cullenarycurser!)

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  37. JJ you bitch! You were doing so well, and then WHUMP! Upside the head with ole Bad Vamp. And of course I was scrolling with eager anticipation due to your set up, "THE grand daddy of pics..." BEE-ATCH! Gah!

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  38. @Cazza - that, my friend, is Bad Vampire. He likes to make an appearance every once in awhile but it's been a loooong time.

    @Luxie - I agree. He's their secret weapon and he looks like a fucking little girl. Fail.

    @Lindsay Rae - YOU GOT HER TO PUT ON THE GIMP MASK?! GTFO!! You are officially my new hero. {Bows down}

    @Kneedshelp - You know, I didn't even notice all the coordination and denim in that first pic because I was so flabbergasted by Jasmin's hair but now... I think I just hate that picture. lol!

    @RobsBitch - Scratch n' Sniff! LOL! Trust me, if I could somehow get scent to travel through the computer we would have absolutely no followers. I would feel compelled to pass on the stinkiest shit (ha!) I could to you guys.

    For now I'll settle for Bad Vampire...

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  39. The wig issues in Eclipse are just killing me. I mean, come on, are you seriously telling me Summit doesn't have the budget for better? That costume person should be fired!

    If you were Jackson or KStew, wouldn't you raise your hand and say "What the fuck is on my head?" or "We all know Rob is the 'hot one'!" Bleeeeehh.

    Isn't that vid the seven minutes of heaven Wally World Eclipse sneak peak??? I'm sad because I decided long ago to be an Eclipse hoore but I haven't had many opportunities between the stills & the official preview. How sad is it that Mr. Mart had to deliver the most goods.

    @Twi-Hearted - Yes, his eyes were red in the video. I read somewhere that it was either a flashback or as @Luxie said, a vision from Aro.

    Bad Vampire = Baaaaaddd Vampire. I seriously think he wears a larger bra cup size than I do!

    @JennyJerkface DITTO on Robface in leg hitch picture. That and fingers make being a spoiler hoore totally worthwhile, but I would still like additional hoorage to happen before the main event. Even hoores like foreplay.

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  40. You ladies previously mentioned how TWI brings you back to your teen-love years, and hell, I have to admit that hot little "leg hitch" pic brought me back too. Unfortunately, IIRC, the appropriate caption in that photo would be "WhOaaoaooaa! Ugh, just finished, thanks". Hahahahah, I see disappointment in her face, dont you? I know - I am so f*cked up.

    Also, @JJ, you are too hard on yourself - being a grotesque and super-judgemental male I can assure you that Jacob would easily carry you up the mountain (you posted pics here...I swear I am not stalking you. I only stalk on Wednesdays). But I can assure you that Jacob wouldnt be able to run holding you up the mountain, because either A) You'd have some crazy-balls-funny comment to say to him that would make him laugh, or B) You'd drop one of those "Vagina Status Report" comments and his easily distracted male brain would shift gears from "run" to "lets do this...right now".

    Anyway, thats my friday 2 cents.

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  41. @ Kneedshelp; JJ:
    Really. With all those matchy matchy navy blue, denim duds the Cullen's are sporting, reminds me of those awful family photos. You know the ones...where everyone's donning the same cheesy get-up. Yeah like this (minus the awkward monkey pile)
    Seriously, they have the newborns taken care of, 'cause they'll prob die of laughter.

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  42. Oh, JJ, you made my day. Also, I propose the matchy matchy denim picture for awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

    And despite my being a chick, I would gladly carry you up the mountain any day, as long as you keep making me laugh. I promise not to pee my pants. Maybe.

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  43. gah- i'm so behind. will watch video spoiler now.

    LOVE the Jackson picture.. nom, nom, nom... THANKS! (getting batteries after work)

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  44. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonApril 9, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    I think I was "anonymous" that posted the video the other day. I was fucktacularly busy at work and couldn't be bothered to type a name. This way I could pretend I wasn't twi-slacking, yet again, when already buried at work. Also, I felt like a huge bitch, like I was arguing with you by even posting it or trying to prove you wrong which I was most certainly not!

    Jasper does look like a bitch with the new do. Clearly 3rd time is not the charm. I actually have nightmares about these Breaking Dawn rumors and what that shit will look like in 3D. Medusa won't have shit on 3D Jasper-Tress-Mess. BTW, what happened to Esme's caramel locks?

    Matching battle Cullens is most definitely a bit munch. I know they aren't supposed to feel discomfort but isn't going to war in skinny jeans overdoing it even for them?

    Don't mean to steal whomever does the verification word thingie..you're brilliant by the way...but couldn't resist this one. My verification word is "billem", what the Twilight Saga wig makers and wardrobe team said about Summit. Everyone knows sometimes you have to pre-pay for some quality work.

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  45. Sorry all you Team Edwards. I think they made Jasper look so unlike Jackson because they would be afraid he would steal the show from Robert.
    RP has his moments but JR is the cats meow.

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  46. @ CF4LIFE - well I think your friday 2 cents are priceless LOL!!

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  47. @LKW - Of course you'd still let him jizz in your eyes. You're a whore. You'd probably let him jizz in your ears too. And then ask him to do it again. I really am going to have to get you those easyknee jeans aren't I?

    @CF4Life - *snicker* Good one dude.

    And I would like to 2nd the mention of awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

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  48. thanks for this, JJ -- you rock; love all you ladies -- it's good to find kindred spirits! love the leg hitch . . .

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  49. @Banshee713
    Oh. I'm a tard.
    Yes the Jax makes my giney tickle. Jonas Brothers spraying their hot foam...not so much.

    flowi

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  50. @CF4Life... Ha! You are so right. Now that picture's ruined. Here I am thinking how hot the expression on RPattz's face is and now all I see when I look at it is "WhoooOOooa." And you are totally right about the disappointed Bella face. Gah!

    @Luxie, that is just creepy. Who decided that it would be a good idea to pile 500lbs of bad fashion onto poor Grandpa? Probably the dude in the middle of the manwich.

    w/v: diculax. The Cullen wardrobe is ridiculous. I want to put Diculax in the head costume person's coffee.

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  51. @Cupcake Donna: lol don't worry about it. Love that episode. And Jackson makes my giney tickle almost as much as the Pattz does. Yum.

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  52. JESUS! Your leg hitch picture left me reeling; his slightly open mouth, his fingers....GAH! Then, BadVamp. That dude/chick thing is the equivelant of a naked picture of your grandma. *shudders*

    What s up with Jasper?! They continually make him look like a fucking girl! Whats so hard about slicking his beautiful honey blonde hair back, and letting cute Jacksper smirk. Thats all it would take. I dont get the hair and make up crews confusion.

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  53. gold bed gold bed gold bed gold bed gold bed gold bed

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  54. I wonder what happened to "bad vampire" we haven't seen him around lately.

    Dude I just saw an interview w/ Jackson talking about how it was his real hair in the first movie...um....this saddens me. Not only did they die it a fugly color but they curled it and cut it too. bleh. Poor guy, no wonder he wears hats all the time, he probably got into that phase when he had to look like a poodle douche. :(

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  55. @CF4Life... Ha! You are so right. Now that picture's ruined. Here I am thinking how hot the expression on RPattz's face is and now all I see when I look at it is "WhoooOOooa." And you are totally right about the disappointed Bella face. Gah!

    @Luxie, that is just creepy. Who decided that it would be a good idea to pile 500lbs of bad fashion onto poor Grandpa? Probably the dude in the middle of the manwich.

    w/v: diculax. The Cullen wardrobe is ridiculous. I want to put Diculax in the head costume person's coffee.

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  56. thanks for this, JJ -- you rock; love all you ladies -- it's good to find kindred spirits! love the leg hitch . . .

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  57. gah- i'm so behind. will watch video spoiler now.

    LOVE the Jackson picture.. nom, nom, nom... THANKS! (getting batteries after work)

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  58. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonApril 29, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    I think I was "anonymous" that posted the video the other day. I was fucktacularly busy at work and couldn't be bothered to type a name. This way I could pretend I wasn't twi-slacking, yet again, when already buried at work. Also, I felt like a huge bitch, like I was arguing with you by even posting it or trying to prove you wrong which I was most certainly not!

    Jasper does look like a bitch with the new do. Clearly 3rd time is not the charm. I actually have nightmares about these Breaking Dawn rumors and what that shit will look like in 3D. Medusa won't have shit on 3D Jasper-Tress-Mess. BTW, what happened to Esme's caramel locks?

    Matching battle Cullens is most definitely a bit munch. I know they aren't supposed to feel discomfort but isn't going to war in skinny jeans overdoing it even for them?

    Don't mean to steal whomever does the verification word thingie..you're brilliant by the way...but couldn't resist this one. My verification word is "billem", what the Twilight Saga wig makers and wardrobe team said about Summit. Everyone knows sometimes you have to pre-pay for some quality work.

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  59. Oh, JJ, you made my day. Also, I propose the matchy matchy denim picture for awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

    And despite my being a chick, I would gladly carry you up the mountain any day, as long as you keep making me laugh. I promise not to pee my pants. Maybe.

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  60. Picture #1:
    Okay - so the matching denim, their expressions and Jackspers hair all scream CHEESY VAMPIRE CRIME FIGHTERS!!!

    Pic #3: FUCKHAWT! Daaaaammmnnn! I haven't seen that one before.

    @JJ - I forgive you for Bad Vampire just because of the leg hitch pic. :) I have a pic on my phone of a women's bathroom sign where the girl looks like she's hitching her leg. It's SO f'n funny!


    @HypoVag - I was thinking more along the lines of Criss Angel and Adam Lambert. But close! LMAO!!!

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  61. I must say, I am in love with what they did with Rosalie's hair for all this fightin' stuff. However...Jasmin?! *snort* That's awesome. But seriously, JJ? You had to give us man tits after that FUCKHAWT Jacksper? I didn't know my kadizzle could go from 180 degrees to 0 so fast. God damnit...

    @HypoVag: YES. He is totally a Gibb with that shit. But I was thinking more of a
    Cuz it's just e-mo-tions taking me over. Caught up in sor-row, lost in a song....

    So...funny story. Went into my local sex shop to get a new toy today. Treating myself since the bf will be out of town...And the new chick (must have been, I didn't recognize her) was completely too hands on. Everything she saw me looking at, she ran over to give me a *ehem* demonstration. After a half dozen "mhmm, oh, cool"s, I decided to walk over to the BDSM corner. She fucking followed me over and I got so pissed at her insistence that I asked her if she would put on the gimp mask hanging on the wall. I must have looked serious as shit, because she for SURE put that fucker on. I had to stifle a guffaw, but it didn't stop the guy working behind the check out counter from laughing his ass off...And thanks for the new G Spot vibe, I like that it's neon green.

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