Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Eclipse Trailer: The Good, The Bad & The Attack of the Newborn Zombie Vampires

In typical Twitarded fashion [i.e. late and vaguely apologetic about it but not that apologetic], it's time to dig into the Eclipse trailer that was released on Friday. The plan was to do this post on Friday night (yeah, yeah - the road to hell is paved with good intentions and all that shit...) but then JJ came over to Casa Snarky and we had dinner and ate and drank too much wine and then went out to catch some live music... and yeah. No. It didn't happen. Soooo... time to get to it!

As I mentioned periodically throughout the weekend on the blog and on Twitter, I thought the trailer was damn good but since I gotta be me, I still have a lot of smack to talk about it. As I try to explain to Mr. Snarky when we go out to eat and I give a running critique of the meal, it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it; raking shit over the coals is just part of the enjoyment process for me (and jftr and I waited tables for years AND I am an awesome tipper and unfailingly polite to restaurant staffers).

Anyhoo, I thought that I would be able to pepper this post with lots of relevant screencaps from the trailer, since I got an email from Twilighters Anonymous saying that they had a full gallery available. Sadly, I can't view any of them in a size larger than 1/4" x 1/4" and after scouring the web and realizing that as a "just the tipper" I can't really DO a search for "Eclipse trailer screencaps" without seeing pretty much every Eclipse-related image out there, I gave up. I'd ask our supposed resident Eclipse spoiler-whore Jenny Jerkface to do it for me but she's a lazy twat. Screw it - I know you people watched the trailer a gazillion times just like I did and can follow along, and if you didn't, then here's a perfectly cromulent excuse to go watch it again. I'll even repost it here - take 90 seconds to refresh your memory if you need to...

OK aaaand here we go!

I like the score so far... It has that same gripping sound that got me all excited each and every one of the countless times I watched the Twilight trailer... I didn't like the score for New Moon, so I am hopeful that this will be an improvement, and David Slade was certainly excited about it.

The makeup and hair? Uh... Looks like there will be some fail moments here... Fine, I bitched about the obvious demarcation lines and mauve lipstick in Twilight, but I would take Catherine Hardwick's smexy vision of Edward back in a heartbeat. In Eclipse, Edward's sporting mutton-chop sideburns, his hair is brassy and his eyebrows are too dark (see that one spot about halfway through that looks like "the tent scene" to me - where Edward is wearing what appears so be a white collared button-worn shirt - I guess he came from the office?), and he looks... not as hot as he could. Come ON! We KNOW how hot RPatts is!! It takes work to mess this up, people!!!

The wigs...Oh fuck, the wigs... In all honesty I didn't notice Kristen Stewart's wig the first time I watched it. But since then? Uh yeah, it's bad. Her hairline is all fucked up and she has three miles of forehead. Plus it looks like she needs a deep conditioner STAT or maybe they should have used some of the budget for a really nice hairpiece or weave instead of recycling Jacobs tatty rat's nest of a wig from New Moon. Someone needs to take that thing out back and give it the Old Yeller treatment.

I miss Twilight Edward, too. {{{sigh}}}

And Carlisle... Holy crap - WTF did they do to Carlisle??? I have seen Peter Facinelli in person and he is drop-dead gorgeous. He has that kind of sparkling sexiness that makes me think that movie stars are perhaps a different species than you and I. But in this trailer he looks...not so good. He looks poofy. His hair looks like a cemented-on bleach-blonde helmet. And when did he start speaking with an accent??? [Note from JJ: oh please, he looks fucking terrible. He has a ridiculous blond helmet and speak like some kind fucking fey Brit.]

"Someone's cree-ahhh-tiiing ahn ahhh-meeee..."
And where did they find a back-of-the-head shot of me with the perm I got in 9th grade?
Oh wait that's Jaaaahhhsphaaa...

Artist's rendering of Carlisle's helmet hair.

I found the vampire army pretty bothersome after a few watches, too... OK, here's the deal: newborns are supposed to be uber-powerful, fast, and filled with an insatiable and unquenchable lust for blood. So why do these newborns move more like zombies than vampires? It's like someone created a bunch of hipster-y drab-clothes-wearing zombies and is calling them vampires . Sweet jeebus, it's like Williamsburg early on a Sunday morning when everyone is still in a daze from their booze and coke-fueled Saturday night. The walk over everything in slow motion. They come up from the water in slow motion. Huh?!

Even the engagement ring is not consistent with what they have shown in the past - it doesn't even look like the "official" Stephenie-Meyer-approved version shown here (from Twilighted):

We have one of these... Our friend won it at the New Moon premiere! We're not saying it's particularly up our alley under normal circumstances, but JJ's kinda attached to it and hell - what's normal about our Twilight fixation? Regardless, it doesn't look like the ring they show in the trailer. [JJ's note: MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!!!]

So what do you think??? Hit or a miss??? Now that you've watched it over and over and over again, what do you love and what makes you want to grab David Slade by the nuts and demand that he hire one of us as a consultant? Perhaps we should start the petition now to have a Twitard on-set for the filming of Breaking Dawn. You know, to ensure the get it right. And to make sure that Robert Pattinson's... "needs" are met. Hey - someone's gotta fetch his ciggies and hot pockets!

Despite all my carping, I'll be first in line to buy tickets when they go in sale! And if PFach and Kellan happen to join us again, all the better! In the meantime, enjoy this mash-up of both trailers that Latchkey Wife sent around earlier today to try to ease our collective case of The Mondays. That's right - I spend all this time bitching about it and I STILL want to watch it a few more times. Today. And tomorrow I'll watch it again and again and again...

64 more days - GAH!!!


  1. The minute I saw Peter Fachlisle walk through those ER doors in Twilight, I thought "Oooohh yeah...mmmm...that's some good...casting. Hot, sexy casting."

    But this New Moon and Eclipse bloated not-so-fresh feeling Carlisle? Eh.

    (And the fake accent started in Twilight - check the garage scene where he says "we protect our fahm-uh-lee." Oddly Irish...for an Americanized English vamp.)

  2. Uh yeah makeup fail! Okay I saw a different still of Carlisle and it's like when did he get really old? I too have seen PFach in person from about 2 feet away and the dude is hot so why are we taking away from that and making him look weird? Oh and don't even get me started on the wigs and the bad hair trio pic you got up with Jasmin and Emmett. They fucked both of them up too- Emmett looks like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber and Bella's wig, yeah I agree her hair line is all jacked up. Hey Summit, what'd ya do with all that money we gave you seeing these movies that you can't afford better wigs? Also they've slapped so much makeup on Rob he looks like a a god damn powdered donut, I mean don't get me wrong I'd lick or bite him any day of the week but it's just not okay looking and I agree it takes real talent *sarcasm* to make that boy look bad LOL

  3. UGH - can't get past the hair. All the wigs are godawful. Everyone looks like shit.

    Otherwise, I like it. I agree that the vamparmy could be a little more bloodthirsty and energetic, but I'm hoping we get more of that in the actual movie.

    I think I'm missing the ring thing. I'll have to look into that more closely.

  4. Damn, I really need to pay attention but that is what I have all of you for.

    I have twitarded blinders on and even the mash up of both trailers looked great. The one that flashes across my brain during that few minutes of bliss is for me, Carlisle. He does look bloated and the hair is off. I cringe at what they will look like by the time the second Breaking Dawn gets filmed.

  5. Not a fan of the wigs, on anyone. Why couldn't they keep actors looking like they did from the Twilight?
    @Layna.Lane I am with you, Seriously with all the money they make off us crazy bitches, why couldn't they spooge a little and make 'em look hot!?!?

    As for Carlisle, in the beginning I wasn't a fan of him in Twilight... but then I met him ( http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1321892098574#!/photo.php?pid=2120407&id=503467448 ) and fell in love with Dr.Smells-So-Yummie-On-A-Hot-Sweaty-day-Cullen. So this better not be an epic fail or I will hunt down someone important over at Summit.
    The ring is not my style but if EDWARD-FUCKING-CULLEN was putting that rock on my finger I wouldn't complain...I would just find a way to convince him later on down the road to buy me something more "up-to-date"...
    @STY I am totally with ya on the VampArmy looking to zombie like for my vampire lovin' ass. They need to look a little more "lively".

    Everything else looked okay(other then Bryce playing Victoria...)and I am uber excited for June to get here.

  6. I've said it before on other blogs and I'll say it again - you need a woman director to make the vamps (esp. Edward) as beautiful as they should be.... only chicks can get the right tone for these books.

  7. Obviously the wigs earn an Epic Fail. The newborn army of zombie vampires is questionable. In spite of that one thing got me uber excited. Eclipse will be out June 30 in IMAX! Can you imagine? That's even better than Twilight movies in 3-D.

  8. So I posted this last night but had it dated April 2 [oops...].

    This week is feeling a loooot like last week. Blergh.

    @ShelbiferLynn - Edward could put loop of twine on my ring finger and I'd be pretty damn happy (although it might get a little crowded there - lol).

    @Musing Bella - yup, that's kinda how I feel - other than the massive amount of awful shit, I like it a bunch.

    : )

  9. I have to agree with the whole Carlisle thing... with the helmet hair (died laughing at the FP person picture), the fucking hideous, magically appearing accent which makes me want to nut punch him, and is it just me or does it look like he's been maybe experimenting with anabolic steroids? How's that for a run on sentence?

  10. PFach has been looking very bloated the last two movies...any word on his health? I hope he's ok. Also, I thought I saw the hint of an arm tattoo on him when he's sitting on the couch talking about the ahhhh-me of vampires passing out tickets to the gun show. On that note, Jacob almost looks too thin...losing his baby chunk? Also...since when could vampires grow out their hair? I'm fairly certain SM clarified that Alice didn't have long hair because it remained the same when she was changed...Is Jasper just watching those infomercials finding the alterna-perm straightener shit? I agree Catherine had the right look for Edward, but something about Chris Weitz helped K-Stew act and show emotion-and didn't make the entire film look blue-thank god for the warm tones!

  11. love- the wolves, when the vampires are running full speed at each other(yes, they are suppose to be A LOT faster... but it still looks cool) and alice does the in the air twist over the wolf (sweeeet), the meadow (duh), edward's face after he proposes, jacob saying "we're in", jasper looking bad ass, the fact that riley is HOT, edward's dark v-neck, and just that there is MORE of Edward:)

    hate- edward looking like a mix of the joker and ray liotta, bella looking dumbfounded in every scene (she needs some depth), the wigs, the ring (although your pic makes it look much nicer), the way jake and bella look when he is professing his love for her.

    know-that i will be watching it at least 50 times! TWI FEVER!

  12. Eclipse Edward. Disappointing. From the very beginning interviews Pattinson "got" it: "You look at Edward and cream your pants." Otherwise, why would any self -respecting woman put up with the baggage that comes with a 108 virgin with issues? He's a stalker, over protective, mood swings, gives bad jewlery, and refuses to FUCK you even when you BEG for it. Please. If Edward's looks didn't make her cream her pants, Bella would so be doing it doggy style with Wolfie boy!

  13. I am in complete agreement with you STY about the dire need for a Twitarded Representative on set for Breaking Dawn.

    Beyond the travesty that is hair/makeup for RPattz and PFach....someone needs to take pity on poor JBone. Somehow the Shirley Temple look just isn't working for him.

    And even though the Varmy seems a wee bit sluggish, I do still quite enjoy when the wolves go "Bowling for Newborns!"

    Is it wrong that now when ever I watch the trailer and Edward is on the screen, all I can think is [Sulk]? hahahhaa

  14. I didn't even mentally process the make up because I couldn't get past the "hair".

    Poor Carlisle.
    Poor, bouffanted Carlisle.
    Poor, bouffanted, inexplicably British Carlisle.
    I can't even talk about it, it pains me so. I have to go watch a few episodes of Nurse Jackie to remind me what a fucking stunner PFach really is.

    And oh, OH, my dear love Jasper...
    What have they done to you?!
    It's all been downhill for you since Twilight. I didn't think they could drag you down any further after the pageboy fop mess they put atop your head in New Moon, but now they've gone and given you what looks like my failed bodywave/drugstore peroxide experiment from 7th grade. The only thing I find solace in is the fact that once I ripped that atrocious excuse for a wig off Jasper's dome, underneath I would find the flawless specimen that is Jackson Rathbone - and then I would do things to him so filthy it'd make his mother cry.

  15. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonApril 27, 2010 at 10:24 AM

    How about when I think it's Alice is jumping over the wolf and her limbs like Barbie circa before Barbie's knees could bend? It looks...awkward. That is all for now other than I agree with everything said about Carlisle. His voice does not draw me in...nor does his face. It kinda draws my fist in though. They are twitching at my sides and eager to punch both his face and his larynx.

  16. Does anyone remember when Jasper had a sex change in the book? I can't seem to recall that but clearly it happened, according to this trailer.

    Now every time I see Carlisle I have that awful faux accent rolling around in my head.

  17. MyHeartGoesPitterPattinsonApril 27, 2010 at 10:34 AM

    Barbie vs. Alice comparison:

    It was hard to find a good pic of Barbie sitting. I ultimately chose this one b/c it shows Barbie packing pills which reminds me of Karen on Will & Grace, possibly my favorite sit com character: http://www.flickr.com/photos/migrainechick/1391658947/

    And Alice doing the Barbie Limb effect:

  18. So we can pretty much count on: 1) bad hair, 2) bad makeup, 3) Granny-looking Alice, 4) tranny-looking Rosalie, 5) crappy lines (thanks MR!). And yet, with all that... I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!

  19. From my brain to your laptop? LOL, I swear sometimes you take the words right out of my head or you've been intercepting my emails!

    ROFLMAO @ And where did they find a back-of-the-head shot of me with the perm I got in 9th grade?
    Oh wait that's Jaaaahhhsphaaa...

    I'll give them this: thank fuck they fixed Rosalie, she finally looks hot instead of like a barbie doll in desperate need of either a new wig!

    Seriously, how hard it to make things consistent from movie to movie? I can only imagine how Jackson feels each time he puts on a new terrible wig!!! They really need fans like us (pick me, pick me) to get the details right. Grrrr.

  20. i'm just gonna lay it out there.


    1. mopeward. SMILE, goddammit! make a joke! something! edward is not this depressed in the books. he has a damn sense of humor.

    2. constipated bella. again with the SMILING. people smile. JEEZUS. the playful aspect of their relationship is practically non-existent.

    3. jasper's hair. poor jackson. the boy is HOT. why must they do this to him! i don't even know why jasper had curly hair in the first place. he was a fucking civil war soldier! if he had had short hair (like jasper is supposed to) from the beginning, this wouldn't be an issue now.

    4. the slow zombie-like movement of the newborns. i share your thoughts on this. i want feral! snarling! speed! but, i have to say, it does look pretty cool overall. the creepy mood is nice.

    5. bella without a coat. i mean, wtf?

    6. carlisle's accent. just no. no...

    7. ashley greene (as super gorgeous as she is) still can not act. i think this disappoints me a lot because alice is my favorite character.


    1. rosalie's hair. random, i know, but it looks much better to me. not bleached, just blonde. it's softer and prettier.

    2. esme's caramel waves have returned!

    3. the wolves. they scare me and i love it.

    4. the score. it gives me goosebumps every time i watch the trailer.

    5. xavier is looking hot, right?

    6. the stunts look pretty damn amazing. i still miss rachelle, but victoria does some cool shit.

    overall, i am really digging the effect of this film. the cinematography is breathtaking. and the darkness, the adrenaline, the urgency. nice.

  21. I would give anything to have Twilight Edward back!!!

  22. This is why I was afraid of David Slade directing Eclipse. Have you seen "30 Day of Night?" The newborns in Eclipse look like his zombie/vampires in this movie. I'm not kidding..check it out!


  23. Can you please start a petition to have someone from Twitarded appointed as creative consultant for BD!?
    They need you!

  24. Dude, doy -


    - Lorabell ;)

  25. P.s. Who in the holy fuck won that fugly ring at the NM screening?! It's still fugly but that doesn't mean I don't want it - gah!

    - Lorabell

  26. "Sweet jeebus, it's like Williamsburg early on a Sunday morning when everyone is still in a daze from their booze and coke-fueled Saturday night." HAHAHA! That is a great visual comparison. You crack me up.

    I feel so sorry for Jasper, there are no words to describe that hair.

  27. What do you think Jackson's response is when they show him his new hair for each movie? "*Sigh* Well, it looks like I won't be getting any THIS time around, either." Or maybe he just withers and dies a little inside. Or maybe, "Oh shit, now that poodle will NEVER stop humping me."

    @STY, I died at the Fischer Price hair thing!

    @Toefunny - Bowling for newborns! Love it :-D

    In all seriousness, this trailer made me way excited for the movie in a way that the previous one hadn't. I am sooo excited for the action! I am, of course, disappointed in the helmet hair, fake accent, crappy wigs, etc., but I expect the action to be sweet. The first time I watched it, the only thing that bugged me was how there was only a single second of shirtless Jacob. The ration clearly needs to be much higher than that. I actually wouldn't mind if they just interspersed shirtless Jacob pics approximately every twelve seconds, regardless of the other action going on in the scene. Either way, when he says "We're in," I sort of... oh god, I have to go.

  28. So you guys can't get over the Carlisle sitch, huh? I get it, and I'm with you. The bloating, the too-blonde hair, the weird pseudo-accent (I'm hoping it will be fixed in post, and it's not really a big deal in the actual flick)...I'm there!

    My biggest issue is the make-up. Everyone is paler than usual, but Edward..Oh g-d. He looks like a fucking geisha. I've come to terms with the fact that the eyes will never be right, and that no one pays close enough attention to Jasper in the book to get him right on screen (we're SO sorry, Jackson. We think you're fucking hot, and thank you for being my Jasper in every ExJ slash I read).

    ...Every other issue I have has been voiced or I'm just gonna shut my mouth and dwell on the good things. Like the leg hitch that wasn't included.

  29. @Amanda "Or maybe he just withers and dies a little inside."

  30. Oops, and by "ration" i meant ratio!!!

  31. I'm very pouty over the bad hair/make-up... they're supposed to be crazystupidomfg gorgeous vamps.... :(

    @jane is a vamp -- I agree w/you 100% (except for Ashley Green, I like her Alice)

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  33. They f-ed up the ring!!!! I was watching the Oprah episode on my DVR and I had a total shiz fit about it. I am a jewelry whore so I have a very distinct vision in my mind and this was not it. It looks like some cheap piece of goth crap that they are going to knock off and sell at Hot Topic.

    The hair is AW-FUL. My gawd...it is like they try to F this shiz up. The hair and costumes only needed minor tweaks from Twilight (i.e. Rosalie's roots, Jacob's wig and tame Jasper's fro). These are not hard to fix people. Especially when you have millions of $s at your disposal.

    If JJ, STY and LKW are not available to consult on this stuff, give me a call. I am here. I too, will work for free.

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  35. @pickle: thanks :)
    and, i mean, it's not like i can't tell ashley is trying. she's certainly cute and all that. but i think that's kind of the problem (for me). she's trying TOO hard, and i can tell. it's distracting. it would help if she was more natural.

  36. http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fl.php%3Fu%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Fv%253D4ZsJIRg9d8A%26h%3D8a2c7&h=8a2c7
    please check out our video we want to get into the Oprah show!!!!!!
    Go Team Edward!!

  37. Vampires aren't suppose to change, right? Then why the heck have they allowed Jasper's hair to grow longer?! He totallt looks like a girl.. and to think that he was the hottest guy in twilight.

  38. Well, I loved the trailer. I do agree with you that PFach looks weird...bloated, puffy, helmet-hair...it's not a good look for him. He's so hott, they should make him up so much...too much. I'm not diggin' Eddie's sideburns. After about 50 views, the sideburns are getting on my nerves. I also think his eyebrows are too bushy. Pluck those things! I actually love Rosalie's hair this time around. I thought she was too made up in the first two, so I'm happy with the more subdued look. I also agree that the newbies resemble zombies. I am pretty positive that there will be some Team Riley people pop up. He was lookin' mighty fine, if I do say so myself, and I do.

    I was just pleased to see the action...the fight scenes are my favorite! I can't wait to see the whole thing. Come on June 30th!


  39. That ring/shiel looks like something my kids get out of the gumball machine at the grocery store. That thing is so big it could deflect Jane's piercing gaze. Maybe it is meant to be foreshadowing of Bella's power in Breaking Dawn...whatever it sucks.

    PFach, PFach, PFach just does not look good as a blonde...

    Wigs Shmigs..they suck

    I think Robward looks fucking hot...sideburns and all. Would fucking Bella crack a fucking smile around him already. If I were Bella I wouldn't be able to keep a stupid grin off my face or my tongue in my mouth. Take a chill pill girl and loosen up a little....granted she hasn't had her vampgasm yet...but jeebus.

    All in all it all looks good and I am excited. I could listen to Roward say 'Seattle' over and over and over again....now if he would only say 'Vitamin R' my life could be complete.

    OK...back to Twymen stretching...I am gonna watch that extended trailer mash-up again....my Twymen is certainly limber now.

  40. Typos, typos. I wrote Roward...sheesh. STY I mean to say that I love the Fisher-Price figure reference for Carlisle's hair. Maybe I need to go gather up the old Fisher-Price family and turn them all into Cullens.....

  41. Thank You! I've been saying it takes work to ugly up these people! They've never done J.Bone justice. But this time they got RPattz and PFach too!
    How bad are the helmet hair and bushy sideburns gonna be on the big screen.... :/

    But amongst all my complaining still can't wait for June 30!

  42. Oh and I miss Rachelle as Victoria...real bad. :(

  43. Carlisle looks like Data from Star Trek.
    The wigs and make up get worse with each movie. At least so far Alice's wardrobe looks better, a def improvement from the moomoo she wore in NM.
    But still, ick!

  44. layna lane u busted my gut with god damn powdered donut

  45. @layna - you nailed it with emmett's hair looking like jim carey's in dumb and dumber. totes.

    @HV-yes, a gay general custer!
    and, i love debbie downer so no worries there:)

    and with the side burns edward is a cross between the joker, ray liotta AND brandon walsh.

    @Jane is Vamp- JEEZUS is right.

  46. @HV-LOL, I actually snorted at "Jasper's hair? I can only assume they are modeling his hairstyle on General Custer, and really, who knew Custer was gay?"

    @Lindsay Rae-a geisha, fucking hilarious!

  47. I couldn't put my finger on why I liked Twilight better than New Moon till you nailed it! Edward was just friggin' sexier in Twilight. Why...oh Sweet Jesus...why do they make Edward out to be such a dead pan, stick up his ass???? Did they not read Twilight? Did they not experience the book-Edward? The funny, silly, witty, lickable, Edward? Well they fucking need too!

    I like the idea of a Twitard assistant position on set! Someone has to keep these directors, costume, hair & make up, and screen writers on the right track before they ruin the whole thing!!!

  48. As bad as Bella's ratty, nasty wig is, I feel worse for Jasper. Because that is (I think) the dude's actual hair and they still made him look that way. Sadness without words...

  49. I loved hot Edward in Twilight -remember hot bedroom kissing scene -GAHH - but I would not look twice at NM Edward or Eclipse Edward. SO SAD and epic fail for me. Honestly I did not like NM at all - I haven't even watched the DVD yet - and I may just wait for the DVD for Eclipse 'cause it looks like it sucks! I prefer what is in my imagination over this craptastic failure from Summit! :( And let me tell you I was OBSESSED with Twilight until New Moon which just had no emotion in it and such a crappy score and bad everything -including the awful acting that did not bother me at all in Twilight because I loved the characters so much. I am not happy

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  51. Ok....damn you all to hell for pointing things out to me that I had not noticed before but can't NOT notice now...sigh.
    Carlisle's accent made me laugh (out loud) after reading your review & watching it again. Did not even notice it before. And mutton-chops...seriously...WTF. Don't mess with perfection!
    Also, I am totally Team Edward, but I am LOVING me some Jacob in this trailer - he's just so damn sweet.

  52. @Hypo Vag - I totally horked wine when I read your comment about trailer security. You fucking kill me. You're insane, you know that, right?

    Oh, and you're also an asshole. ;P

    Moving on...

    I have to admit I'm mildly tempted to email Summit and suggest that a Twitard be on set for Breaking Dawn but then I remembered that the last thing we want is the great evil eye of Summit on us again so... damn.

    I think all of us can agree that Carlisle is a fail and I still have no CLUE how they can make such good looking people ugly.

    Oh, and I'm wearing Bella's engagement ring as we speak. Mine's prettier than that ridiculous crap in the trailer....

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  54. @Hypo Vag - LMFAO!!! I literally cannot stop laughing!!

    I guess I can't move on.

    And you're an asshole for pointing it out.

    You're officially on my Shit List. (OMG, that was SO corny I just punched myself).

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  57. Does anyone one else find it annoying that Bella says "Edward, she found us" alluding to Victoria? Bitch, you never left Forks.

  58. The trailer made me giggle because there is something very funny about needing an ENTIRE ARMY of newborn vampires to kill one very small human girl who has near-death experiences on a daily basis without any help from mythical creatures.


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