However, just because it's not related to Twilight doesn't mean that Twilight doesn't somehow manage to sneak itself in to pretty much everything I see, hear or do at this point. This includes a particular police drama that I have a mild addiction to - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
God forbid I like the regular old Law & Order. Nope. Instead, my favorite "branch" (there are like thirty gazillion spin-offs) is the one that deals with the sex crimes. Because I'm pervy like that.
Oh, and Ice-T is one of the detectives so that makes it all okay. I mean, how can you not love the irony of a "cop" who gained notoriety back in the day for making a song about... killing cops.
Plus, I may or may not want to "interrogated" by Detective Elliot Stabler. Repeatedly. You know, the whole "bend over, spread 'em" shtick -- replete with handcuffs and maybe even a little hair pulling or something. Because Elliott Stabler is most definitely the bad-ass cop.
Lusting after a 17 year old fictional character is within SVU jurisdiction. Put your hands against the wall and spread 'em. NOW! Lift your skirt up first...
That is why, a few nights ago, I was curled up on my futon catching up on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Season 8. For the record, if you think I'm absurdly slow keeping up with Twilight-y stuff, I should point out that they are currently up to season 12 or 40 or something like that so I'm waaaay behind. If it wasn't for Netflix I'd probably still be on Season 2.
Anyhoo, so there I was, watching an episode called "Pretend." I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but it involved a dead kid in a gimp mask who was beaten with a wiffle ball bat wrapped in barb wire by another kid in a gimp mask.
Who, I realized with a small shriek, was Mike Newton.
In a gimp mask.
When it finally occurred to me who was behind the mask, I kinda felt like I had seen something dirty. And not good dirty, either -- I'm talking bad dirty -- like walkin' in on your parents bumpin' uglies.
Suffice to say, I'm pretty sure that every time I see Mike Newton in the Twilight movies from now on, I will imagine him wearing a gimp mask.
And now you will too.