Pic totally filched from Kristen Stewart Wants It - Thanks, KSWI Jordan!
As some of you may know, we have a not-so-secret weapon in our arsenal here at Twitarded. No, no - we're not talking about "The Vamp," Jenny Jerkface's atomic potty mouth, or our... "special" underwear. We're talking about "The Secret Language of Birthdays" - our fave book for delving deep into the psyche of anyone we choose, provided we know their date of birth. So here's looking at YOU, Kristen Stewart, and all you other April 9th people!
April 9th - The Day of Excess
April 9 People are certainly one of a kind. They are often the extreme embodiment of unusual trends in society, their talents conveyed in excess. Any compromise, restriction or tempering of their abilities is out of the question. Usually they leave no doubt as to their views on any subject--they are outspoken, direct, sometimes even harsh. But talking about what they do is not really their speciality; they just prefer doing it [*cough*doingRPatts*cough*] which usually means doing it a lot [mmmm hmmm... I'll bet!].
April 9 people have a particular genius for translating ideas [like wanting to boff the pea coat off of their hawt co-star] into action, giving rein to their fantasies in the most practical ways [KStew wanted to boff Edward Cullen! I am sure of it now...]. They can even make a good living doing so [ahem - I rest my case]. Fortunately, their ideas are usually of a social nature and thus enrich the lives of others [I stand enriched]. April 9 people have a strange thought process, often quite humorous, but are not idle dreamers. On the contrary, they have a strong realistic streak and the uncanny ability to know when an idea's time has come [...and it's time to dump the probably-nice adolescent boyfriend and move on to
Not overly social people, those born on this day may find their ideas the principle link between themselves and their associates, family and friends. More often than not, the world of the April 9 person is a highly individualized and somewhat lonely one [especially when your boyfriend is in Hungary for his Bel Ami wrap-party on your birthday]. There is a great desire to share personal discoveries with intimates, but this is not always possible. The greatest gift an April 9 person can give is to reveal him/herself at a deep level to another; too often, however, this gift is never given.
The strong influence April 9 people have on others is not always for the best [see: Sister Snarky's take on how Robsten will ruin the Twilight franchise]. Their families or followers should beware of adopting their more strongly biased and excessive ideas literally. To do this could have shattering results [maybe getting that Joan Jett-mullet 'do after KStew rocked it was a mistake?]. Above all, those born on this day set an example for freedom of action, for discipline in work, for a kind of uncompromising behavior that most people cannot emulate [translated: you will never boff RPatts]. When the aim of April 9 people is to radically change the thought of others by way of example, they usually succeed. But because April 9 people usually have a strong amoral streak, those around them may even see them as unprincipled or selfish [translated: KStew will NEVER share].
Numbers and Planets: Those born on 9th of the month are ruled by the number 9 and by the planet Mars. Extreme forms of aggression may manifest along with impulsiveness and anger [note to RPatts: be careful! she could go all Lorena Bobbit on you at any moment!!!].
Health: April 9 people must be very careful of literally destroying themselves and and others with their energy. Self-inflicted injuries of all kinds are a danger [clumsy - yup!]. Mars influences are so strong in April 9 persons that they may also attract antagonism, even violence, from others... [We don't wish her any ill will but if she were standing between an army of tweeners and RPatts, I would walk the other way...] In April 9 people the physical aspects of life need to be tempered [note to KStew: step AWAY from RPatts's junk for two seconds! sheesh...]
Advice: Beware of selfishness; giving and receiving love is important for everyone [and there's more than enough Robert Pattinson to go around, am I right???].
P.S. If you're interested, you can read the VERY revealing "Secret Language of Birthdays" break-down on both Robert Pattinson ("The Day of Natural Appeal") and Edward Cullen ("The Day of Ecstatic Appeal" - we can't make this stuff up!) - definitely more entertaining than all that other productive nonsense you might have planned for late Sunday night or Monday!