Jenny Jerkface is not the only spoiler whore in this triumvirate. I love me some good spoilers too! In my desperation for June 30th to get here faster, I have become hopelessly addicted to the latest clips that hit the airwaves last week. Specifically, the Angry Edward clip. Ooooooooh ya, you know which one I'm talking about... some yelling, some pushing... some panting... some staring... makes. me. crazy!
Hmmm... two angry men... looks like Bella's in a bit over her head. Latchkey Wife to the rescue. (Or maybe they're all so angry because Bella's wig is ridiculously ugly!)
I know some of you think that all the clips and photos and shit will ruin your Eclipse experience, but I don't think it's true -- at least for me it isn't. I was an absolute whore while both New Moon and Remember Me were being filmed... sucking up any bit of insight into the set goings on, the photos, the short fan-made video clips. I was like a Hoover on steroids. I literally could not physically stop myself from doing a daily scouring of the web to feed my need.
And did all this ruin these movies for me? Nope. In fact, I had no fucking idea how Remember Me ended until I was there, in the movie theater, staring open-mouthed at the screen. And I already knew the New Moon story so no spoiler there.
Ooooh, Happy Edward! Ok, he makes me tingle too. And is Bella actually smiling or are her teeth just dry?
I might be a tad slutty when it comes to these movies, but I do have one hard limit - script reading. Sorry, can't do it. When I see folks tweeting about scripts, I scream "TURPENTINE" at the top of my lungs - or at least type in all caps - that's the equivalent of screaming right? And please don't ever spoil an ending for me. Trust me, you don't want to see me angry...
Speaking of angry... back to Angry Edward... After first seeing this clip on Oprah last week, I nearly lost my shit. I hit rewind, and played it again... and again... and again. Fuuuuuuuuck me. Angry Edward makes my lady bits tingle like nobody's business. I want Angry Edward to pay me a visit, preferably when he's angry. And horny. I want Angry Edward to spank me (I've been a very bad girl.) I want Angry Edward to rip my panties. Off. I might even let Angry Edward use that scary looking vibrator on me [JJ's note - yeeesh, that's hardcore]! Sky's the limit for me and Angry Edward...
This clip alone made me immediately wish for the next 43 days to be gone. Now. I have a good feeling about this movie and I can't fucking wait! Let's just say if there's a lot of Angry Edward present, I may need to bring some, ahem, props to the movie theater me...
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on? Now this makes for Angry Latchkey Wife. And I think Edward's gonna like her more. Lips off, ho.
If we get to see Angry Edward in Eclipse, I imagine Breaking Dawn is going to bring out Seriously Fucking Pissed Off Edward when he learns of his impending fatherhood... I wonder, is it because he thinks he's too young at 17 or too fucking old at 109? And I bet we might even meet Wife Beater Edward when he finds out what Bella names that freaky kid! All I know is someone better fucking beam me to June 30th... STAT! Or I just might die waiting for this movie.