Monday, May 17, 2010

Angry Edward Makes Me T-T-Tingle! *Spoiler Alert*

*Spoiler Alert* - For all you wannabe virgins. You know who you are... pansies.

Jenny Jerkface is not the only spoiler whore in this triumvirate. I love me some good spoilers too! In my desperation for June 30th to get here faster, I have become hopelessly addicted to the latest clips that hit the airwaves last week. Specifically, the Angry Edward clip. Ooooooooh ya, you know which one I'm talking about... some yelling, some pushing... some panting... some staring... makes. me. crazy!

Hmmm... two angry men... looks like Bella's in a bit over her head. Latchkey Wife to the rescue. (Or maybe they're all so angry because Bella's wig is ridiculously ugly!)

I know some of you think that all the clips and photos and shit will ruin your Eclipse experience, but I don't think it's true -- at least for me it isn't. I was an absolute whore while both New Moon and Remember Me were being filmed... sucking up any bit of insight into the set goings on, the photos, the short fan-made video clips. I was like a Hoover on steroids. I literally could not physically stop myself from doing a daily scouring of the web to feed my need.

Hello? Excuse me? Get yer grubby hands off please! Dirty bad vamps.

And did all this ruin these movies for me? Nope. In fact, I had no fucking idea how Remember Me ended until I was there, in the movie theater, staring open-mouthed at the screen. And I already knew the New Moon story so no spoiler there.

Ooooh, Happy Edward! Ok, he makes me tingle too. And is Bella actually smiling or are her teeth just dry?

I might be a tad slutty when it comes to these movies, but I do have one hard limit - script reading. Sorry, can't do it. When I see folks tweeting about scripts, I scream "TURPENTINE" at the top of my lungs - or at least type in all caps - that's the equivalent of screaming right? And please don't ever spoil an ending for me. Trust me, you don't want to see me angry...

Speaking of angry... back to Angry Edward... After first seeing this clip on Oprah last week, I nearly lost my shit. I hit rewind, and played it again... and again... and again. Fuuuuuuuuck me. Angry Edward makes my lady bits tingle like nobody's business. I want Angry Edward to pay me a visit, preferably when he's angry. And horny. I want Angry Edward to spank me (I've been a very bad girl.) I want Angry Edward to rip my panties. Off. I might even let Angry Edward use that scary looking vibrator on me [JJ's note - yeeesh, that's hardcore]! Sky's the limit for me and Angry Edward...



This clip alone made me immediately wish for the next 43 days to be gone. Now. I have a good feeling about this movie and I can't fucking wait! Let's just say if there's a lot of Angry Edward present, I may need to bring some, ahem, props to the movie theater me...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on? Now this makes for Angry Latchkey Wife. And I think Edward's gonna like her more. Lips off, ho.

If we get to see Angry Edward in Eclipse, I imagine Breaking Dawn is going to bring out Seriously Fucking Pissed Off Edward when he learns of his impending fatherhood... I wonder, is it because he thinks he's too young at 17 or too fucking old at 109? And I bet we might even meet Wife Beater Edward when he finds out what Bella names that freaky kid! All I know is someone better fucking beam me to June 30th... STAT! Or I just might die waiting for this movie.

56 comments:

  1. LMAO. I totes agree. Angry Edward made me want to assume the position (if know D/s - you know what that means) ;)

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  2. Angry Edward is so Fifty, Twitchy palms and all. Unf.

    Also make me think of Prof. Masen in UofEM when he rescues Bella from the biting Jake.

    "Let me give you a clue...Wait for her to say the words."
    mmmm...so growly!!

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  3. Ok, so I said this earlier on another blog site, but every time I watch that clip, I get all tingly because I imagine Edward & Jacob totally locking lips. I'm not even into 'slash', but they are both so fucking HOT, I can't help myself. I always said I wanted to be the creamy center of an Edward/Jacob sandwich.
    And that last pic of Edward & Bella open mouth kissing - fucking swoon - I can almost imagine what it would be like to kiss Rob that way. Ok, gotta go before I have heart failure.

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  4. Is it just me or did I read the scene as Jake being more happy/ smug when he told Charlie he kissed Bella?

    Def have watched this clip a feeeew times so far! Love territorial Edward :)

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  5. InlovewithRPattzMay 17, 2010 at 9:33 PM

    I knew to posting here, but I love this site! It's so refreshing and hilarious. My god angryward is the death of me.

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  6. i have a feeling we're going to be shouting, "all hail david slade!" come the first of july.

    angry edward is naughty. i want him to throw me against a wall fifty style and make ME say the words.

    did you see the red mark edward left on jacob's neck?

    way to step up to the plate edward, you sexy vampire you.

    edward never said he was going to play fair jakey. i'll forgive you for kissing bella though, as long as you keep leaning against the car with those sexy abs and low cut khakis. mkay. i don't mind looking at your mouth either.

    @LKW-feel exactly the same about not reading the scripts.

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  7. The clip totally got me.
    I have got to cover my mouth to avoid screaming out loud.

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  8. @laphipps-

    Basically in the book, Edward's cool, calm and collected and quietly, but sternly tells Jacob to lay off.

    Jake is a smug little asshole and proud of his actions.

    Bella is a pissed of crazy person who punched a man of fur and steel.

    And Charlie just about high-fives Jake for forcing himself on his daughter and lectures Bella about picking on someone her own size and that she should just give Jake what he wants so she doesn't injure herself.

    So, yeah...I think the movie version might be a little off.

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  9. I totally agree....angry Edward slays...makes my hormones do fucking laps.

    I'm beginning to think I'm gonna have to apologize to Mr. Slade for all my worry and doubt (I hope so!).

    And Robert, bless him, that half hitched upper lip and nostril flare his Angryward is sporting? That's a million miles away from the biology lab crap-pants face and the Volturi/softball rraowr face... You GO Rob!

    @Twilight Junkie, I'm with you...I've been mooning over that huge open mouth kiss he's going in with for a good while. And knowing he's got that huge fucking tongue in there, just waiting to unwind. Gah!

    want

    Want

    WANT

    VW molutv If he kissed me like that, my vag would explode like he put a molutv cocktail in there.

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  10. @ Hypo Vag - if they insert a moan a-la New Moon kiss during this kiss in Eclipse, I WILL spontaneously compust, right there in the theater. My imagination is overactive enough with Rob porn as it is.

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  11. @ Cupcake Donna-- I knew something was off! I can't wait for this movie!

    God I love this blog and that I have somewhere where squeeing is acceptable and mostly preferred :p

    wv: bicie
    I'm team Edward all the way, but mmmm Jake has a yummy bicie :)

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  12. I love your nod to twi "Woah Woah Woah, WHAT is going on here?" LMAO!

    Love me some angry Edward too! And, that clip was finally the first clip to get me excited for Eclipse...Finally!

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  13. BWAH Hahaha...are her teeth dry? *gigglesnort*

    I'm with you on all things spoiler (sans script). I can read the Bel Ami script no problema, b/c I don't have anything to compare it to. I did NOT read the RM script b/c peeps were whispering about a gut shot ending. But the Twi scripts? No way. I can't afford for my brain to dwell on the "Where the shadoozle did that come from?"S that would litter my thoughts.

    But the clips/pics....Oh G-d, the Angrward. @Cupcake Donna - Right the fuck on w the Fifty/Prof. Delicious blend.

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  14. twitchy palms, Twitchy Palms, TWITCHY PALMS!!!!!!
    Angry Edward makes my lady bits happy happy!!

    Just keep this video on repeat ladies!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z6L_MwAAvo

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  15. umm - quick question cause I'm seeing ppl talk about it everywhere - what's fifty?

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  16. RAR! again, you took the words right outta my mouth! LOVING angry Edward. It's honestly a side we haven't gotten to see in the movies. WOoot!

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  17. @cupcake donna- def different than the book. but i think it's a good change. i like that edward reacts this way...obviously;)

    @anon-fifty is the nickname of edward's character in the fanfiction story Master of the Universe, because he is fifty shades of fucked up in the story. i didn't know what it meant a month ago either.

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  18. OME you took the words right outta my mouth. After seeing the "You can go to hell" scene in New Moon I was begging for more, and it looks like they delivered! Squeeeee! :)

    PS My verification word is "Pusica"
    I'm sure you can get creative with THAT one...

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  19. Photo quality not good...but it's worth taking a look at Angryward's NECK! He looks dangerous. He looks like a dangerous mf vampire (even with the cute little hoody).

    Be angry with me Edward. Show me the error of my hooring ways.

    http://twitpic.com/1orlyq

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  20. I know in the book Edward is all calm, but I LOVE angry Edward soooo freaking much better. mmmmm....is that wrong? LOL This was one of my fave scenes (among many) in the movie! (yes, I'm one of those whores who saw Eclipse and the Oprah show)Anyway, I think you guys will like sarcastic Edward as much as angry Edward as well. 43 more days!!!!!!!!!!!

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  21. Sweet baby Jesus, when I saw this clip for the first time I was AT WORK on Friday and I proceeded to watch it no less than sixteen times. And then I got home and watched it three more times, and then had some Special Fooorkspimp time with the Drawer of Orgasmy Goodness.

    And then I watched it approx 5,000 more times this weekend.

    At what point is it a problem?

    For serious, though, this clip makes me SO HOT. The angry Edward (and yes, HypoVag, in his cute little hoodie!), the sexy Jacob (I am not-so-secretly a total slut for that barely legal kid - MANDA WANT). I think I mentioned this before, but I just tend to imagine myself in between them until they decide to give up and just double team me instead.

    HypoVag is going to have to arrest me again.

    @beckthter - HA! pusica!

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  22. Any of you livin' in upstate NY, 'cause seeing the premier of Eclipse with one of you would be...well...it would be somethin'

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  23. Oh and @Robzsinger - I'll yell it from the rooftops already, "ALL HAIL DAVID SLADE!!"

    VW: rearina. Hee. Heeheehee.

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  24. I have tears in my eyes laughing at the "Wife beater Edward"!
    And of course I caught the "whoa..what is going on here" b/c that line makes me cring in the movie. I don't see why they didn't go with "what's"! Irritates the piss out of me! Anyway, I'm w/ you on everything else, we need a life FF button b/c we need it to be June 29th already! (I'll take that day b/c that's the pre-party!)

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  25. Turpentine! Turpentine! La, la, la, la, la, la.

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  26. Oooh... "Seriously Fucking Pissed Off Edward when he learns of his impending fatherhood... I wonder, is it because he thinks he's too young at 17 or too fucking old at 109? "
    I never thought of it that way before.... I like this thought, makes way more sense.

    Oh hi there Fifty. I laughed reading all the comments and how many of us went there after watching the clip.

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  27. While the other trailers were good, this one really got my attention ... in a good way. W00t Angryward!! This just makes the wait 'til June 30 more torturous, damn you Hobbit Slade!

    v/w: comar as in "comar, Angryward and do me."

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  28. Yeah I'm a total whore for all the info too but I can't turpentine the scripts, nope I can't do it I read them all (finally read WfE last week after having it for months- amazing!). Reading RM's script did nothing to take away from the ending. I knew it was coming but actually seeing it still got to me and in all honestly it was even worse in the script, they tweaked that just a bit in the movie. And oh yeeah can't wait to see an Angry Edward on the big screen.

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  29. Oh dear God that was hot! I also like Angry Edward (Wife Beater Edward made me LMAO) and definitly reminds me of Fifty. Oh it needs to be June 30th now!

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  30. Let me just say. You go gal :) omfe I was like OMFE
    mr rpatt / Edward is hot when he is frigging angry and the way he tells jacob to wait until she says the words had me panting every gowd dam time I watched from 3.55mins lol

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  31. Need 11 seconds of happiness ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P267pZZcL8k

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  32. When I first saw this clip I thought I was going to go up in flames! First the angry look, then the angry and distraught look he gives when Jacob says he kissed Bella. Priceless!

    Can't wait for the movie! OMG, I think something in me might die when watching man-on-fire-Edward in Breaking Dawn. He is just too good!

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  33. Who knew Edward could get hotter? Not me... Angry Edward = serious extra fuckhawtness! W.O.W. Must. Watch. Again. And. Again.

    I guess I have David Slade, MoTU and everything by Tarasueme to thank for the fact that I now have an irresistable desire to be dominated by Edward! Panty-ripping Edward? Yes, PLEASE!!! Damn life is so unfair!

    LMAO@ Ooooh, Happy Edward! Ok, he makes me tingle too. And is Bella actually smiling or are her teeth just dry?

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  34. I have to agree, with the general consensus here. Angryward definitely gets my girlybits in a lovely tizzy. (And yes its prob partly due to MotU but also, I think I just like the idea of soft-spoken Rob getting all heated and angry and shiz)

    I hope that unlike the book, after Jacob and Bella finally share a consensual kiss on the mountaintop, Edward tears Jake-pooh a new asshole! And then spits some profanity at Bella for being a cheating skank (or maybe just put her over his knee?)..Yeah that'll happen...

    Oh btw.. all the Eclipse E/B kissing we've seen already IS pretty damn hot. Seems Robward always has his mouth wide open.. less guarded maybe, much more so in Twilight and New Moon imo.

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  35. @Ferial, that clip you posted is a) awesome and b) totally puts into perspective for some reason the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing!

    Oh, hold on a sec while my fuckhawt vampire boyfriend sticks his tongue down my throat and I moan in anticipation, k? And then I'll walk over to my jacked and gorgeous "best friend" with his rippling abs who's waiting to wrap me in his arms and also wants to get in my pants.

    YEAH, BELLA, I FEEL REAL SORRY FOR YOU, BITCH.

    Sigh.

    vw: alattest. Alattest that some angry Edward (and Jacob!) makes me hot!

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  36. Well, I'm pleasantly surprised this morning that there are some many spoiler whores out there to keep me and Jenny Jerkface company! It's like a fucking harem! I'm home sick today so I think I may watch Angry Edward about 100 more times or so while I'm laying on the couch.

    And I love that 11 second clip - if only for Edward saying "Doesn't he have a shirt?"

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  37. @LKW - "doesn't he have a shirt" is hands down the funniest line Edward utters

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  38. Love Angry Edward. Nice way to start the morning. The golden contacts look better than in NM, no?

    What's the story with Forks? When are you guys going?

    xoxo

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  39. sorry about the anonymous post above - I'm still figuring out this blogging thing

    i'm fairly new to the site, and have you tell you you've changed my life; love your stuff, plus you've led me to twiporn -- Wide Awake, The List, MOTU; I had to stop reading MOTU in the middle because I have to finish The List first, but I'll go back; my 16-year-old marriage has spiced up a whole bunch; my husband loves you all - he calls fan fiction "fan friction" . . .

    xoxo

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  40. I loved Edward´s black eyes in this clip. And hate Chris Weitz as he gave Edward yellow eyes in the Italy scenes. Asshole.

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  41. Uh, yeah, my thoughts EXACTLY! I immediately sent out text messages to all my Twi-people saying, "Angry, feisty Edward = H.O.T.!!!" No one really seemed to share my affinity for pissed off Edward, so I thank you for this post. It's not just me!

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  42. good point about italy -- i thought in general the NM eyes were bad -- too opaque and pop-eyed looking

    didya notice in the clip (sigh) Rob says "agaynst her will"? a bit of his inner brit coming out?

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  43. oh yes-I'm glad to see others also so into pissed off Edward :)
    My 16 year old daughter(who has cooled somewhat on her Twilight love)and I watched the clip on Oprah.
    I said, what the hell was that!?
    and she said, let's watch it again!

    Mmm hmm. It's going to be goooood.

    and thank you for the kissing pic...could look at his mouth open like that for days on end...

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  44. i can't believe i'm being called a pansy on my own blog. fml - lol!

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  45. OMFG!! (*MOAN*) THAAAANK YOU for posting that video!!! Angry Eddie (or Robbie even ;D) got me so turned on and turned up and I had to clamp my thighs together to control myself! That roar ... OMG!!! "Let me give you a clue" ... I'm the one doing all the panting. I can't stop watching it. Oooh and the murderous look in those eyes ... Fuuuuuuck. I think I'll go out of my way to piss him off just so I can see and hear that more often! (Oh and I agree - the more hands-on he is the better!! ;D) Jeeeeeeeeeesus ...
    LOL More spoilers the merrier I say! But yes, NO ONE show me scripts and NO ONE tell me the ending of the movie or I will hunt you down as well. Lol. And that open-mouthed kissing pic ... I REALLY need to excuse myself right now ... (*SPRINTING OFF* *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*) ;D Love to you all. (& Angry Robward). xoxo

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  46. OK, I don't know how I have JUST NOW come across twitarted. OMG!! I love this!!! I have watched this clip too many times to count-gah!

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  47. Mmm, yeah, I don't mind a stray from the book if those are the results! I lurve me some angry Edward. And I lurve me some smiling, laughing Edward. Basically, I love Edward emoting anything! He can emote all he wants all over me. Seriously.

    And I am so absurdly behind on the fanfic thing. But MoTU is at the top of my list. Now, how do I convince my book club to ditch the normal readings for a few months and join the FanFic train?!? Woo woo!! Chugga, chugga, chugga, all hoooors aboard!!

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  48. Fuck me LKW This:
    "And I bet we might even meet Wife Beater Edward when he finds out what Bella names that freaky kid! " was some funny shit!

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  49. Addicted2TwilightMay 18, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    Anyone notice how RPats says against. I laughed the first time I saw it on Oprah. I love me some RPats.

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  50. LKW, you crack me up girl. I totally rewound that scene on Oprah like 50 times and I just did about 50 more from this post! Angry Edward is a DREAM!

    Why can't my husband be that hot and smoldering when he's angry? Unfair. I want a DO-OVER! (oops!)

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  51. Oh man that scene! I so wish Charlie didn't step in! I mean I love me some 'stache but man I wanted Edward to rip jacob's face off!! So glad they finally made him a little agressive/possessive of Bella!

    And I don't know what is is about this still but I love me some Edward fucking up tress... http://iloveboyswhosparkle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/eclipsesnapshot11.jpg
    I think it's my favorite ;)

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  52. New to posting but a long time lurker here. Angry Edward is HOT!!! The only thing better is smirking Edward like when he walks in the cafeteria in Twilight or right before they kiss in Bella's room for the first time. The kids aren't allowed to watch Twilight or NM with me any more because according to hubby, I make sounds I didn't realize I was making. lol Shame too cause my 3 yr old LOVES "Twi LIE"

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  53. Oh man that scene! I so wish Charlie didn't step in! I mean I love me some 'stache but man I wanted Edward to rip jacob's face off!! So glad they finally made him a little agressive/possessive of Bella!

    And I don't know what is is about this still but I love me some Edward fucking up tress... http://iloveboyswhosparkle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/eclipsesnapshot11.jpg
    I think it's my favorite ;)

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  54. LKW, you crack me up girl. I totally rewound that scene on Oprah like 50 times and I just did about 50 more from this post! Angry Edward is a DREAM!

    Why can't my husband be that hot and smoldering when he's angry? Unfair. I want a DO-OVER! (oops!)

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  55. Love Angry Edward. Nice way to start the morning. The golden contacts look better than in NM, no?

    What's the story with Forks? When are you guys going?

    xoxo

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  56. @LKW - "doesn't he have a shirt" is hands down the funniest line Edward utters

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