FTR, this was not the version that showed up in my dream. Although I still wouldn't have asked him to leave... even dressed like this.
I rarely have sexy dreams, so when I do, I wake up with a big, gushy smile on my face and I spend the entire next
Whoa, that was weird. I just showed up in the dream of the most foul-mouthed-yet-incredibly sexy woman I've ever [not] met.
So anyways... the dream. Rob shows up at my house unannounced, although it wasn't actually my house, which is probably a good thing. Had he shown up at my front door, Mr. Latchkey would have most certainly kicked his skinny ultra-fine ass and thrown him to the curb. This action would, of course, result in our immediate divorce. You do not harm The Precious!
I remember he kept trying to get away from me [huh? I don't understand, I am sweetness personified. I said sweetness, not slutness. How come even in my dreams he's running off to get a restraining order??] There were other people at this house and I didn't know any of them, which makes me think it was some kind of contest and I won and had to have a meet-and-greet with a bunch of strangers. All I know is I kept trying to lure him into the empty kitchen to have a little one-on-one "alone time" with him (if you know what I mean...). Good gawd, I'm a fucking whore even in slumber!
In case you don't know this about me, I love to make people laugh. In my feeble attempt to keep Rob interested, I kept cracking jokes, hoping to hear that panty-melting guffaw of his. And it worked!! He was laughing with me (or maybe at me, but who cares? he was laughing!), and I was happy. But then, Old Slutskey Wife had to make an appearance (gawd it's hard to keep Her Horniness at bay) and suddenly all I wanted to do was touch him. I needed to touch him. I HAD to touch him. I kept putting my hand flat against his chest and he would kind of back away like he was uncomfortable with it. And then I'd step in a little closer... you get the picture. Apparently I don't respect his personal space in my dreams, either. Ooopsie!
At one point, I leaned in close enough to take a big ol' whiff of him... and he smelled good, by the way. I'm pretty sure after that, all hell broke loose. I started making suggestive comments [kind of like I do in my interviews] and he got a little weirded out by it and kept trying to escape back to the other room (which is pretty hard when you're handcuffed to the leg of the kitchen table). Even in my dreams, Rob is not relaxed around me. It's almost like he thinks I'm just going to jump his bones every second. Which is true.
He finally started to loosen up the more I made him laugh and I took the plunge and leaned in to see if I could taste those luscious lips of his... aaaaaaand I woke up. Muthafucking morning makes me want to punch someone in the mouth! I was soooooo close to running my fingers through that hair... oh that hair!
P.S. Mr. Latchkey kept talking to me and I kept trying to fall back asleep to get back into the dream... I needed to finish that dream! But it wasn't meant to be...
I'm hoping these types of dreamy visits happen a little more frequently now that he knows where I live. Maybe like every night! Don't be afraid, RPattz! I'll make you laugh! Among other things...