All day long, I've been counting the hours until quittin' time. Not that this makes today any different from other days, but today I had something to look forward to when I got home. Someone very special was patiently waiting for me on my TiVo. Someone, oh, about 6'2" tall, British, incredibly sexy with a spanking new haircut. I have to say it was somewhat torturous spending the entire day trying to quell the urge to hop on over to YouTube to get an eye full of RPattz's visit to Ellen. I normally don't possess this type of restraint, but today I did. I know, I even surprise myself sometimes. I waited mainly because I needed to get the full television effect of the new haircut.
Ellen rarely disappoints me... especially when she interviews Rob. He almost looks as if he's comfortable with her. He doesn't appear to stammer through his answers as much as with other interviewers. Except, of course, when she mentioned dancing. The look of utter shock that flashed across that pretty face was fucking priceless. He was absolutely petrified that she was going to make him dance. Oh how I love frightened Rob... makes me want to hold him tight, and rock him until the scary stuff goes away.
So I got home, changed into my comfy clothes, flopped down on the couch and told my husband he had to stay upstairs while I watched Ellen. When I first saw the preh-tay with his fresh new locks, I'll admit, I really had to suppress the urge to lick my television set. Good thing... because if you saw the thick layer of dust on my TV right now, you would definitely question my housekeeping abilities (which have not been so great since the discovery of all things Twilight nearly a year and a half ago - and I'm looking at you, fanfic... Not good for taming the dust bunnies.) I'm gonna come right out and say it, I absolutely looooooove the new hair! Funny thing... my local radio station reported this morning that the reason he cut it was because Reese Witherspoon refused to work with him if he looked like Edward! Is she stupid? Seriously? Who wouldn't want to work with Rob these days? He mentioned he did cut if for Water For Elephants, but said nothing of Reese's supposed demands.
And then there's his clothing. Oh gawd, the white v-neck t-shirt... it makes me sweaty just picturing it in my head... and in a ball on the floor next to my bed... wha? Where am I? Oh right, the clothes... and of course the layers and layers of clothes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it warm in LA? Why is he always wearing so many layers? Jenny Jerkface has a theory: it's because he's shy and wants to hide behind his layers. Well then, how the hell is he ever going to get naked in front of me? It's ok Rob, I'll be okay if you just want to dig your pecker out of your pants for the sexy times. I'm not picky...
So the clothing thing got me to thinking... I know, it's dangerous when I start thinking. What if Rob wasn't a famous person? What if Rob was a homeless person? Would hobo Rob be the type of vagrant who wears every single piece of clothing all at once? It's dangerously close to that right now. Almost like he just rotates through so something different appears on the outer layer every day. (Kind of reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler's clothes.)
I thoroughly enjoyed Ellen today. She even made him play a game. I seriously wanted to cut the lucky bitch who got picked from the audience to essentially fondle the fuck out of RPattz and two other dudes in the Pattin Pattinson game. It was pretty funny. But shit, if that was me, I'm fairly certain I would have recognized those looooong legs and maybe even the shoes, before working my way up the rest of him - just to be thorough of course! I kept yelling at the TV: "The hands stupid, you can recognize him by his hands!!" If you missed it, check it out here...
*Photos from Robsessed.
Here it is...your moment of Robert Pattinson
5 hours ago