Monday, May 24, 2010

Turnabout's Fair Play

Ever since Mr. Latchkey Wife started working first shift back in October, I've done nothing but adjust my schedule to accommodate him. I spend less time perusing the web for Twi-related things because he's always wondering where I am when I'm not sitting next to him on the couch. Which means I spend less time doing bloggy-related things because he can NOT find out about that. It's almost like I'm having a sordid affair on my computer and every time I hear him head upstairs, I immediately close out of all Twi-related stuff and switch over to Facebook! I'm such a fucking chicken! And I end up recording all my TV shows because he "doesn't want to watch that shit" - his exact words. Well, I'm sick of it! I'm taking a stand.

Lucky all my secretive Twi-blogging hasn't reduced me to this! Well, not quite anyway...

Every once in a while, if there's nothing on television, I'll ask him if he would like to watch Twilight. And every single time, I get the same eye-rolling look that screams "I definitely don't want to watch that shit!" Well, guess what asshole? I am now putting a lock down on doing all that annoying shit you like to do until you give me four hours of your time to watch Twilight and New Moon. And you better fucking like it.

There should also be a slice here for "to get sex from the wife!"

The other day we were hanging out and Mr. LKW was telling me about this car show he wanted to go to. I was only half listening because honestly, the second the words 'car' and 'show' were uttered, I only heard what sounded like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Now if he was smart, and watched Twilight when I asked him to, he could have told me that a Volvo C30 or an XC60 was going to be there and I would have wondered if Edward would be lingering... somewhere... and maybe I would've entertained the idea of going... but nope, he's stoopid like that.

My type of car show. What? There's a Volvo in this picture! Sort of...

Our car show conversation went a little something like this...
Mr: So about that car show next weekend... You want to go with me?
Me: Nope.
Mr: No?
Me: That's what I said.
Mr: Why not?
Me: Do you want to watch Twilight with me?
Mr: Nope.
Me: Ok then. No Twilight, no car show. Simple as that.
Mr: {{eye rolls and continues with his channel surfing}}
I know it's just a tiny baby step, but I felt good about standing up for my Twi-beliefs. There are too many times when he chooses our activity and it's most always something I have no interest in whatsoever! But we're married so I try to at least act interested in the crap he likes to do. I mean shit, I go hunting for crying out loud. Hunting! I'm all for nature and all but I don't need to be whacking poor unsuspecting animals! I go, I carry my gun, I take a shot or two - maybe I miss on purpose, maybe I'm just a horrible shot - he'll never, ever know!

Ok, so I have a little more hair than Elmer... but I'm about as good a shot! Oh, and I don't have that same stupid hat!

Frankly, I'm surprised he didn't balk when I told him about the trip to Forks. Lucky for him (and his balls) that he didn't - he'd be searching for those fuckers a long, long time if he had. We've got two acres of land and I have lots of places to bury things. So has your love of all things Twilight led you to compromise more? Less? Do you stand up for what YOU want to do, or just suffer in silence while wondering how big a hole you should start digging in the backyard? I think we'll need a backhoe in Twitardia. Just in case.

56 comments:

  1. my husband and twilight..haha. he is sick and tired of me talking about twilight this and twilight that...according to him i ruined new moon for him because i kept showing him spoilers :) oops my bad all you had to say was.."hey stop it right now i want to see the movie all at once not in little bits and pieces that are posted on the internet." and now eclipse stuff is starting to pop up all over the place..and i am trying really really hard not to show anything besides the trailers to him...but hes not that into twilight he just likes the wolves. other than that he thinks twilight is gay! lol. if i had more twilight friends i wouldn't be using him like a Guinea pig :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so glad that I am not the only one that this happens with. You sound exactly like me..I have all my tabs open on my screen between looking for twilight blogs and my latest obsession, fan fiction (OMG...I am so glad to see Edward and Bella getting it on finally!!). Then when my husband walks into the room, I have to switch to Facebook or email and act like I give a shit about something else. I am just so glad that I am not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do what the fuck I want. My husband is TAKEN care of in more ways than one, so when I want something (which isn't often), he is all for it. That doesn't mean that he doesn't roll his eyes like a pro, he totally does, but that's all the complaining I hear. Unfortunately, he has been working out of state for the past 3 months, which gives me hours to watch Twistuff in the evenings, but I'm so addicted to fanfiction right now, that's all I do after the wee one is in bed. I have started taking a little DVD player to the gym with me & watch Twilight or New Moon as I work out. AND..I have already layed out the plan for June 30th - his ass WILL be back in town for that so he can watch the boy (he and said boy vacated the house for 4 hours during my New Moon DVD release party - coward).
    Not going to Fooorrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkks, but if I were I'm sure he would give me crap because I'm such a tightwad.
    That said....this day has been a whore, so I'm off to read some fanfic & hopefully dream about Rob doing dirty dirty things to me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this post. I am also having an illicit relationship with all things Twilight. Not really, but I do have a secret twitter acct and tumblr actt that hubs knows nothing about. I don't talk much about Twilight (or, god forbid, Rob) because I also get the eyeroll and the "I'm starting to worry about you" comment. The only thing he's ever seen is the preview fro Eclipse that played before Iron Man!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LMAO! LKW dear, I just love your posts. Luckily my s/o is completely aware of my obsession. He knows I have a blog, knows I read bogs, knows I search fan sites and obsess over EC & RP... I figure if he's watching sports, I can the freely enter my twi-zone..Though sometimes I kind of feel bad because he offers to let me watch TV and tries to have conversations...

    As for the movies, he's indulged me and watched Twilight...he said he didn't hate it...which is good. I have tried to get him to watch NM w/ me, and while he doesn't out right say no...he finds excuses..."It's too late"...etc...I asked again tonight & he didn't respond...sigh...

    As for FORKS, he's ok with me going if I have the $. But he knows I/we don't right now...so he kinda gave me a guilt trip about it recently...UGH.

    Now that my novel is over, I bid you adieu!
    xo J

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL!! My husband is just glad to have the living room TV and the remote all to himself. He is currently watching the History channel as I type this. I have a spare bedroom set up with my desk, my computer, a flat-screen TV, and a DVR. Of course, we'll be married 30 years this year. Our days of sitting next to each other on the couch are long gone. I totally agree with your addition to the piece of the pie, though ;)

    Lisa

    P.S.: LMAO picturing you hunting. My husband is an avid duck/deer/turkey hunter, and we live on 3 1/2 wooded acres. I haven't picked up a shotgun since I practically shot him when we were first married and he took me claybird shooting on some farmland. I could go for a do-over right about now. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Excellant post! I have hidden some of my Twitardia from my husband, friends and family. They all know I am crazy about Twilight, but I don't think they have the slightest clue as to how extreme it is for me. For example some days I don't read real news because I am too busy reading Twilight-related news. Other days I spend all day thinking about what outfit I am going to wear to the opening night of Eclipse. I even spend hours wondering how Jackson Rathbone's latest Jasper wig is going to look on the big screen. When my husband asks me what I am doing online I usually bend the truth. I say I am reading the news, Facebooking or chatting with friends. These things are all true to some extent because I am usually reading Twi-news, reading my friend's status updates about RPatz, or chatting on TwilightMoms.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmmmm Hubby and I lead very different lives but we are working on making sure to do things together. We are trying to remember what got us together in the first place. We are both working on it and we are getting there. He is very supportive of my Twilight obsession. He sees how happy it makes me and that makes him happy. In the same way as I watch him do the things that make him happy and I support them. The differences were a problem for awhile but now we are celebrating them again and like I said reminding ourselves of what we liked to do together.

    All I can say is more power to you with your hubby acting the way he does. I am pretty sure I would be out the door if my hubby acted like that. You are a much more tolerant woman than I.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wish I had a husband to hide my Twilight addiction from :( My poor BFF has to listen to all my Twi rambling, she does not give a flying f*ck. She thinks that me giving her son my burned copy of Twilight was to get her to watch it and be obsessed like me. Uh news flash your 6y/o has better taste lmao. No really he asked me if he could have it, he wants to study up b/c I kick his little butt at Twi-Scene It lol.

    @LKW- it sucks when the people in our lives can't just suck it up and allow us this little release from RL

    ReplyDelete
  10. I LOVE this post. I literally just read the whole thing out loud to my husband (yes, I made him listen to all of it, haha). He didn't think it was as funny as I did, but that's because his humor isn't as dry/sick as mine. But, I totally get what you're saying :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr. XKR has precious little clue about my life-sucking obsession. He knows that I have FSE (who lives at my office) and that I read Twilight blogs, but when he started to raise his eyebrows too much and I could practically see him wondering how much a group home and therapy would cost, I shut up about it. He is very sweet and patient (=absolutely no protest when I asked him about going to Forks), and I have tried to take an interest in cars and sports for his sake - tried really, really hard - so I don't feel bad about occasionally subjecting him to my verbal Twi-arrhea. However, there is no way I am going to tell him about drooling over The Prettay or reading FF. I want to stay married to him!

    @all, if your husbands ever give you grief about the Twi-obsession, I find that reminding them why their sex lives are suddenly rejuvenated - and perhaps more risque than ever - really does the trick! I explain that Twilight reminds me of how I felt when we fell in love and it brings back all those feelings. By then he is usually unable to protest :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. My husband hates Twilight. He didn't used to. He read all four books in a week. But apparently I am so obsessed with it, that I have 'run it into the ground'. He hates the mention of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, fanfiction (I read Twilight and I write Grey's)Rob, Pattinson, Kristen, Stewart, or RobSten. That doesn't leave a damn thing for me to talk about...LOL!


    I don't care. I don't like wrestling, boxing, Twi Kwan Do, the history channel, Spike TV, or anything of that nature. So as Rob would say, Bugger off!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Bahaha love the Twilight mental hospital cartoon.

    Hmmm sounds like a compromise is in order?...
    How 'bout you tag along to the car show with the hubs and maybe even give him some good loving later.. But NOT before y'all have a Twi movie marathon. I mean he's gotta be grateful for Twilight in some way. Like maybe reaping the benefits of Twi fanfic, perhaps?

    The bf humors me and thinks its 'cute' that I 'like' something that's supposedly for tweens. I don't live with him so its pretty easy to keep my Twi-freakness on the DL. He's watched Twilight and New Moon with me. I was careful to keep my drooling and sighing o'er Rob to minimum. But didn't really need to worry about that 'cause he fell asleep! He doesn't know HOW obsessed I am. But if he did, I think I'd get the 'are you fucking crazy' stare from him. Yeah, not ready to out myself just yet...

    ReplyDelete
  14. My husband is very tolerant - he and one friend (Hi, Mrs Fashion!) are the only ones outside of you all who know the true extent of my obsession. TH doesn't particularly like Twilight, but he liked New Moon okay and he LOOVES the rifftrax. And he gets that the books made me happy and that as far as hobbies go, Twilight is a pretty inexpensive and harmless one, so he totally tolerates me. :)
    I love that you stood up for your Twi-beliefs, LKW!! You go girl!! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  15. Could the backhoe be a write-off? hmmmm...
    I've been outted, he knows most of it. (I'll admit to closing Twi related websites when I hear him heading down the hall), but after he found the Robporn stash on my puter I was busted. He totally rolls his eyes, says, "WTF, AGAIN?" when I'm watching Twilight, and can't believe the besties and I are doing an overnight Eclipse thing :) But he knows whats best for him so rolling the eyes and a few snide comments is the max I get from him about it (TG). However, I'm not going to Forks, but I know I'd have to borrow that backhoe...

    ReplyDelete
  16. As always, LKW, you hit me where I live -Twitardia, natch.

    NO ONE in my RL knows my obsession. I am beyond 0obsessed, I have written just how badly in this space (remember the power outage and I couldn't get on line??). I am blissfully crazed for FF and all the hilarious posts on Twitarded. Frankly, your collective posts have gotten me through some extremely difficult times this past year. Reading all things Twilight is cheaper than therapy, safer than ruining my liver (sorry, JJ), and leaving my two teenage sons to be raised solo by their father.

    Speaking of the Hub, he knows NOTHING of this. Let me tell you, if he lived on the computer as much as I do, I sure as hell would be wondering what he was doing. What does it say about us that he doesn't even peek?
    He helped me put a "Be Safe" decal on the window of my new car, and he didn't even ask me about it. I have NEVER put a decal on ANY car I have owned.
    Our 31st wedding anniversary is 6/30. WTF, who wants to go to the Eclipse opening with me, 'cause I sure don't want to go with you-know-who.

    If I sound bitter, well, I guess I fit in with you all!

    We live on a couple of acres, too(hmmm, I see a pattern developing here).

    Thanks for listening, posting, and making me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Adoncia - Welcome to the club ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hmm, I kinda with @Dangrdafne with this one. ML and I lead totally separate lives -- he has his stuff (the band) and I have mine (all of you) and we kind of agree to meet in the middle.

    I don't know how to keep this shit a secret -- except at work, where I've almost spilled the beans more than a few times. But I"m glad I don't have to. And I'm even more happy that all of you who are leading Secret Twi-Agent lives have this place to come to.

    Because that shit just makes me happy. Oh hai, redundancy...

    @Adonica - Welcome aboard! I'd be more than happy to go see Eclipse with you but the fact that you're living on actual acres of land I'm going to say you aren't anywhere near me. ;P

    ReplyDelete
  19. stilllookingformyvampMay 24, 2010 at 10:42 PM

    The true depth of my obsession is not known. However, when I did win the RPatz calendar here a few months ago, I slammed that baby up on the wall right above my computer where I can see it All. Day. Long.

    Hubby plays along pretty well. He asks me if I have seen the latest news on RPatz, KStew, and even asked the other day when Eclipse was coming out. I also noticed he is doing something funky with his hair....it is longer, tousled...and it made me wonder if he is trying to do a little copycat of the The Precious. I also found out he is cruising this blog, so I am officially changing my name :) He doesn't need to know all me dirty little secrets.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The padded room toon was CLASSIC. I might have to print it out and put in on the fridge. The Bentist would love it. He's....tolerant....of my obsession. While he loves our "read it. OUT LOUD." nights with smokin' fanfic one shots, but every time (including about 4 seconds ago) I start typing, he says something along the line of "blogging," or "Twilight crap," or "just don't read it to me." I really don't give a shit. He is finally 110% down with me going to FOOORRRKKSS!! and that's all that I really care about right now.

    And uh, idk what you guys are up to, but BJs didn't cut it for a free pass to The Promised Land. They're one of my fave pastimes, so I had to up the ante (I realize I am younger than some of you twats *27*, but we've been together for 11 years). And it hurts to sit on wooden chairs the next mornin' (If ya know what I mean). I ruv him like crazy, and I got him to read Twi and NM, but he won't pick up Eclipse b/c NM was so depressing. I'm still trying to convince him that it does not suck.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Funny.
    I don't remember writing this post. And yet here it is. Straight from my brain and onto the computer screen.

    *Hubby wants me to sit with him while he does boring shit. check
    *Same assaholic won't watch Twi or New Moon with me. And eye-rolls and says no fucking way. Check
    *Me deciding I will refuse to do any of his stupid shit until he gives a little. Check
    * Quickly switching to the innocent, Twi/Rob free facebook from the Twilighty blogs and Twitter. Check

    What gives??? How did LKW get into my head. it must be some sort of "Lost" conspiracy.

    ...and oh shit...here he is now. GTG!

    ReplyDelete
  22. @JJ - we can go to Eclipse in my new car - with THE DECAL! I can drive to NJ in a few. Fooooorks, not so much.

    I would happily trash my liver with you!

    ReplyDelete
  23. nope, it's out and proud with me in this house! My entire craft room looks like a teenagers Twilight room. hubby has his interests and I have mine so it works!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I can't figure Mr. VitR out. He is all about the eyeroll and the muttered comments about me spending too much time online, etc, etc. Right before New Moon came out he said, "So this is going to die down after this movie right?" I started laughing like a lunatic telling him that Eclipse is coming out on June 30th and then there are likely going to be two more movies after that. He looked horrified.

    BUT this is also that man that helped me edit my PE video, has helped me on numerous occasions take great photos of PE in various locations (we even shot him up in a water rocket). This is the man that brings up my Twilight obsession at parties when I am content on being quiet about it. This is the man that just yesterday helped me pick out many Twilight themed wines at Trader Joe's. Oh and he has been known to,on occasion, randomly send e-mails to JJ and STY. He is an odd one that Mr. VitR....all in all a good sport. He will not watch NM though...I think I somehow damaged him when I made him watch Twilight.

    @LKW--I still don't know how you keep it all under wraps but I like this little display o' sassiness and righteousness to the Mr. These men get away with waaaaaaay too much in my opinion. Just say no to the car show...chant with me now.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You go girl! Way to take the bull by the horns! Take a stand -twitards unite:)

    My hubby knows about my obsession, and while I'm sure he thinks it's unhealthy to some extent, he plays along. He isn't going to bite the hand that feeds him, if you know what I'm sayin. So he lets me feast on Twilight.

    Just tonight we were saying prayers with the kids, we all take turns saying what we are thankful for. When it was my husband's turn, he said he was thankful for fan fiction. I kid you not. I know, he's a keeper.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My hubs is the only one who knows the true extent of my addiction. He knows I have a blog, that I read other blogs, that I write fan fiction, and didn't make the tiniest fuss when I decided to display mini Edward and Bella on our living room bookshelf.

    That's not to say he gets upset from time to time with the amount of time I spend online - that's the thing that bothers him the most, actually.

    I used to be all lost, depressed and shit, and now, it's like I'm a different person - I even have a goal. It's like I fucking found my spot in the world, and that's why he doesn't mind one bit. On the contrary. I do, however, make sure he knows he is my one and only love, and that there's no reason for him to feel threatened. And, that, I think, is the most important thing in a relationship.

    @RobzSinger - LMAO at your hubs being grateful for fan fiction. That is brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  27. hmmm...Do I stand up for my love of all things twi...absofuckingloutely! I could see som fisticuffs if my hubby didn't work 3rd shift and sleep all day tho. the last 2 weeks he's been home with an injured back and jeebus christ if I didn't want to feed him all his pain pills at once. In his drug induced haze he had the balls to say ( in regards to twilight)I was stupid, the things I like are stupid and Rob looks like he has downes syndrome.So I went and bought a brand spankin new Rob poster for the bedroom:) . I basically spent the last 14 years letting him indulge in his stoopid man interests...without complaint, I find this and he's all eye rolls backhanded comments and insults...So fuck it, he can be as jealous as he wants and yes I will use the 56" bigscreen to read my FF and look at pics of The Precious even tho he wants to play Killzone...it was his genius idea to hook the computer up to the tv neways....And If I can scrape the $$ together I'll be in FFOOORRRKKKSSS with you lovely ladies and he can use those 3 days to roll his eyes all he wants while he plays ps3...hehe

    ReplyDelete
  28. Actually, my husband don't mind the twilight stuff, or the fanfiction, or me googling for RPattz pictures, or me writing fanfiction. If I want to show him an RPattz interview he watches and smiles, and he can even admit that he actualy is a funny guy. Not sure if he really means it, but I don't care!

    He even went with me to New Moon, AND to Remember Me. I guess he'll come to Eclipse and Water for Elephants as well. He'll be properly rewarded for it, and he knows it!

    He's the kind of guy that realizes it is not good for our marriage (or his sex life) to bug me about these things. Plus, the amount of sex has gone way up since fanfiction was discovered, and I think he can live with that...

    I usually watch the movies when he's not at home, or when there is nothing on TV; and he only smiles and tells me I'm cute. And he thought me going to Forks was an excellent idea, even though I'm leaving him all alone with 2 kids for a week...

    The stuff he puts up with to keep me happy... ::sigh:: Good guy, right?

    ReplyDelete
  29. LMAO, I can definitely relate *rolls eyes and shakes head*

    Mr NotSmitten is mostly tolerant, though he is exasperated at how much Twilight has taken over rl.

    Sometimes he cracks me up - when I'm on the computer I hear "Robert Pattison, you're so hunky" or some other hilarious (but true) nonsense coming from the other side of the room. I even got a voicemail at work once day in a bad British accent, I laughed my ass off! Mostly though, I'm sure he'd like to yell "get off the effing computer and spend some more time with your kids-Twilight isn't going anywhere" but doesn't, probably cause he knows the response would be "get off your lazy ass and do some effing house/yard work-I'm not your maid or your mother!"

    I'd like to tell him he can just sit back and reap the benefits (which he does), but I'm a little afraid he'll start asking questions I'm not prepared to answer about the sudden ramp up of my sex drive. I don't think I want to get into just how much I think/dream/fantasize about RPattz, or the awesome lemony (and some not so lemony) fanfics that I love to read. I can see the horror now if he found out about slash! Gasp. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ok...coming out of lurkdom because I identify with so many of you on here.
    Luv luv luv Twitarted.
    My hub has no idea of my ocd when it comes to RP.
    However my 16yo daughter thinks it is hilarious...she knows of the hundreds of pics saved on my laptop.
    I can't even tell my bff...she is obsessed with Harry Potter but has no interest in Twi???
    So I worship at the altar of Rpatz alone...except for the company of the gorgeous babes on Twitarted.
    Am I nutz???

    ReplyDelete
  31. Well, my situation is different since Mr. Myg is actually the person who first introduced me to Twilight. He used to edit an entertainment mag and is into all things pop culture. He is not an actual Twifan, but he saw the first movie before I did and he knew I would like it. And possibly he knew it would get him laid.

    He watched New Moon with me--thank God he didn't go with me to see it the first time though because all he did was make fun of it. "Are those plastic muscles?"

    He has been very helpful with the fanfic, but there have been many, many times over the course of me writing it that he's gotten pissed off with how much it has taken over our lives.

    He is also a regular Twitarded reader. Because the man knows and appreciates funny.

    But watch me put on an Rpattz video or stare at photos online, and there are eyerolls aplenty in the Myg house.

    And he doesn't make me hunt, probably because I would accidentally kill myself if I did. But LKW, there ain't no harm in letting Mr. LKW know you're a good shot, right? Just in case...

    ReplyDelete
  32. So glad to see some of your share my ridiculous husband-type. I'm convinced that some day I'm just going to lose it on his ass and spill every stinkin' Twi-related secret I have and he's not going to know what hit him! And he'll be so shocked by the whole revelation, he'll just nod his head in agreement and not do a damn thing about it.

    @Myg - Little does Mr. LKW know... it's probably a bad move for him to get me so comfortable around the firearms.... LOL!

    Seriously... things could be SO much worse! At least I'm not smoking crack or cooking meth in the bathroom. Geez... I think Twilight is a very safe hobby to have!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. My husband is well aware of my Twi obsession. He has watched both movies with me, multiple times-I would not take him to the theatre to see them, that's me time :) And He sees me watching the movie, while I read the books and work out on the treadmill (hey, multi-tasking at its best AND i'm not a vampire so it requires lots of working out to keep this girlish figure). He also knows I read Twitarded, alot. He even recently said Forks was not a problem, have fun! (though I have not acted on this yet, maybe I should before he changes his mind)

    Still I am considering a seperate super secret email, facebook and twitter acct...can't participate as activiely as I might if I knew my mom (and others) couldn't see!! just haven't come up with a name...any suggestions?

    ReplyDelete
  34. The BF knows of my love for Twilight/Rob related things! Maybe not the full extent, but I can make a Twilight reference or mention a Rob interview that's coming up, and he mostly just gives me the side-eye and smiles. He knows it makes me happy! Hell, he can even appreciate a little FF, too!

    On Saturday, I nonchalantly encouraged him *mmwhahaha* to go to his buddy's place to watch a basketball game. Naturally, when he left I brought over a bottle of wine, put on a face mask, and watched the Twilight Rifftrax....it was a perfect night!! Except for when the mask dried and I was cracking up....that shit kinda hurt...

    ReplyDelete
  35. Well I have no hubby or bf to hide anything from. It's just me and my dog, and she doesn't give a shit. So I can watch, read, obsess, moan, groan, etc. over all the Twi and Robporn I want! It's a beautiful thing.

    I just got the Edward silhouette and 'Be Safe' decal for my laptop. I lurves it.

    Oh and I almost forgot, I have a very important question and I cannot think of a better place to ask it. I want a mini Edward. Amazon has two - one by Mattel and one by NECA. Which one is better????

    ReplyDelete
  36. @ Jacksonstat - The Mattel Edward is a Barbie doll and not a true mini Edward. The NECA is most likely what you want. http://www.livingwithedward.blogspot.com/ is a whole blog devoted to her mini Edward and he is a NECA version. Does that help?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ahhh, so true! I do things to I loathe just to please the husband all the time...and get nothing in return!!! GOOD FOR YOU!! STAND YOUR GROUND!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. @Dangrdafne, danke schon! That's the one I was leaning towards, the Barbie one looks, well, weird. That blog is giving me all sorts of ideas! *rubs hands togeter while grinning stupidly* Hmmm, I wonder what adventure I will take my miniE on first...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Not that I have a leg to stand on when it comes to experience with functional, healthy relationships, but like Henry Ford said "Fucking up helps you learn shit". Or maybe that wasnt the exact quote, but it was something like that.

    Being a d-bag (and sharing my thought processes), I'll just say that you may get a more favorable change in behavior if you made your argument less of a "tit-for-tat" thing and more of a specific discussion explaining that it doesnt feel good that all of your 'together time' has to be doing activities he chooses. If you can find a way to tactfully approach that, and use small guy-friendly words, I think it would be worth the effort. Us dudes are terribly selfish and can often miss the bigger picture (unbalanced shared time) when its masked by a specific thing (you won't go to the car show cause I dont like twilight). Does that make sense? All you women understand the point...but I am pretty sure most dudes wouldnt 'get it' unless your conversation was paraphrased here. Good luck with that.

    Though I also think I should help manage expectations a little bit. It will be a 'win' if he watches the movie with you. Thats not to say he won't be a comment-making, eye-rolling PITA during it (like I was, IIRC).

    Last thing - I wouldn't feel so bad about being a twi-nut. I'm sure the guy in your life has wandered to a site or two in his time that in comparison makes this blog look as G-rated as a Dr. Suess book.

    ReplyDelete
  40. @CF4LIFE: I'm pretty sure my husband visits the booby sites quite frequently... among others... *sigh* maybe I'll just stop hiding my Twi-obsession.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I just let it all hang out when it comes to my Twiobsession. I have friends who hide it *achem, Trix, achem*, but not me. I'm kind of just like that in all areas of my life...take it or leave it. I do feel your pain though, Mr. Tess does NOT like to watch anything Twi-related. He actually watched Twilight with me 3 times after it came out on DVD and I could tell that he was excited about New Moon (ok, maybe not excited, but interested). However, by the time NM came out on DVD, I think he was on twioverload due to my party planning, party throwing, watching New Moon 7 times at the theater, New Moon this, and New Moon that, New Moon DVD release party, New Moon DVD release, etc...he was ANTI New Moon...didn't want anything to do with it. So, he still hasn't watched it yet. I don't care. I just carry on with my Twi ways and he rolls his eyes at me. It's the way we express our love.

    Tess♥

    ReplyDelete
  42. Don't even get me started on my nerdy husband.

    First and foremost, my husband detests Twilight simply because of my Rob obsession. He claims he can't go anywhere without having some refferance of Twilight to ruin his day. Which is true. It's everywhere from our computer screen to Burger King. LOL! But do I hide it from my Nascar obsessed husband? Hale no! I spent the first five years of our marriage pretending to be interested in Nascar but that got old reeeaaaal fast. If I can't have a normal husband that wears baseball hats and watches football (which I enjoy) than he has to deal with my Twiobsession!

    His testicals are nestled firmly in my purse, thankyou very much. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Surprisingly, I have a great Twi-husband. Soooo . . . maybe he's a bit of enabler sometimes, but whatever. He tells me when he sees a Twilight actor being interviewed, buys be Twilight candy, and always takes a break from World of Warcraft (what can I say - we're both nerds in our own way) to at least watch the baseball scene. He's even watched Twilight and New Moon one time each BY. HIMSELF. - WITHOUT. ME. Crazy, right? He's not doing any midnight premiere crap, but he's pretty cool about it.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Well, my husband and I have been separated for years, so I don't have him to worry about, but my kids make fun of me constantly for liking Twilight, especially my daughter, who thinks it's ruined the name of good literature or some such nonsense. I don't even get her started, because she's so horrible about it all. She HATES when I mention anything to do with Twilight or Rob Pattinson, so I try not to say anything to her about either of them. The worst thing was at Christmas, when we went to my sister's house for Christmas Eve, and my niece said to me, "Oh, btw, Twilight? The WORST movie I've ever SEEN!" And then everyone chimed in, chortling about how horrible it was, and I'm sitting there with a red face, trying to defend myself and my choice of entertainment. The thing is...I know Twilight is neither great literature nor great filmmaking, and I too certainly have some issues with both the books and the movies, but DAMN IT! It's like people talking smack about your family -- you can say shit, but don't let anyone else say it!

    ReplyDelete
  45. My bf knows that I'm obsessed with Twilight and I've gotten plenty of eye rolls. He sort of freaked when I bought the books ("but you've already read it!"). But he did sit and watch Twilight with me when it was on Showtime and he even said he'd watch New Moon. He really can't be upset with the time I spend on the internet or reading because he has his own baseball blog and lives on his iphone. However, I haven't let him know about my fanfiction reading yet, just not sure how he'll react to that. I was re-reading MofU this past weekend on my blackberry and almost completely ignoring him and he kept asking what I was doing and what I was reading. "Oh a book? what's the name of it? what's it about?" Once we move in together, I'll either have to sneak it or he'll have to deal with me staying up all night to finish Wide Awake

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm lucky to have a husband that is a rare breed. He actually loves Twilight. He is always quoting the movies to me, so much that it can actually get annoying. Some times I tell him that I think he is obsessed and has a problem. He can't wait for Eclipse to come out and totally wants to be Edward.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You slay me Mrs. LKW, you slay me.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I don't have to worry about a husband or BF at the moment, but I dislike when people are so disrespectful about Twilight, if you dont like it, fine, but don't rub it in or continue to complain, it makes you look like a dumbass. I don't harp on what other people dislike, I imerse myself with things I love!!!! Besides if Twilight was so bad it would have the following it does, people are just jealous or tired of hearing about all The Twi stuff...lol.

    ReplyDelete
  49. My husband had a nerd obsession before Twilight came into my life. He likes those Warhammer books and tries to talk to me about space robots who fight on other planets and stuff. Anytime he starts on Twilight I can retort with space robot armies and we hit an impasse.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I will never understand why women stay in these oppressive relationship. cut the cord-live your own life. fuck him and his shit! if they didn't have dicks they wouldnt have a purpose. sorry but i lived it and LEFT! sure its been awhile since i had some dick but we learn to compensate! sorry LKW love your stuff but i just can't see living in fear of being outed as a Twi-loving woman!

    ReplyDelete
  51. @Robzsinger - the image of you saying prayers with your kids is SO WHOLESOME AND ADORABLE and the fact that your hubs said he was thankful for FF - AWEOMSE

    @Jude, I'm totally with you - I can't stand other people talking smack about my Twilight! Only I can do that!

    @Lindsay Rae - holy moly, 11 years, and still going strong! Congrats on that, love. I shudder to think of what it would be like if I was dating the same guy I was dating at 16... but that reflects more on my poor 16-year-old judgement!!!

    I have to say - I'm not married, and this post/comments make me sooooo glad that that is the case! LKW, good luck with the hubs - it sounds like he just needs a bit of a firm hand (heh, heh). I hope you find a way to assert your Twi-needs!

    My bf does not know the extent of my Twi-obsession. He knows of Twitarded, but doesn't exactly know that I check it obsessively (I was in a LOST-bubble for the past couple days, and started having Twitarded withdrawl symptoms). When I told him about FOOORRKKS he laughed openly, but was actually pretty cool about it. I have NEVER watched any of the movies with him, and I certainly haven't made him read the books. I know he would pretty much hate them and make snarky comments, thus ruining it for me. Good thing I have my girlfriends to watch it with! :)

    ReplyDelete
  52. My hub knows it all and has no problem with it. He'll even watch it with me - poor man's probably seen T and NM twenty times! Guess I'm pretty lucky.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Thanks LKW, great post. Mr. Munkee teases me about Twi but he doesn't care. I finally got him to watch Twilight and he wanted to get NM the next day. Hee hee. He knows he'll have to see Eclipse with me, and yes, Alaska is getting its FIRST IMAX THEATER just in time!!!! But yeah, sometimes I wait until he is not at home to look at some stuff. It's healthy, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ladies - seriously, I dont think there is any guy that is going to be upset you're reading fan fic. First, because guys just dont look at racy writing as a threat. (Pictures are a diff story, cause that is more 'our brand' of smut.) Second, because if you left it at "I'm reading fan fic", they'd never know the content. They'd think it was like the spun-off star wars books. And even if you left it on the screen, they wouldnt read it!

    @anonymous - JFTR, I do have a few other roles where I am somewhat useful outside of the 'having a dick' dept. Though I do get your point. But you never know, one day maybe you'll meet a dick you like thats attached to a decent person - theres a few good ones also attached to good ones, you just need to dig around like in the bargain DVD bin at Best Buy.

    ReplyDelete
  55. AMEN SISTER!!!

    I could have written the exact same story! (Except we don't go hunting - we go target shooting.)

    I spend ALL my time at home on the computer and he is totally fucking clueless! I'm reading fanfiction on the couch and he is on lazy-boy island looking up sports statistics or some similar guy shit.

    Heck! I wish he would look at some porn sites! I've learned so much from these stories - I'd like to try some! Whenever I do something "new" or "different" in the bedroom he sort of freaks out and looks at me like WTF? Where did that come from? Does he think I'm learning these new tricks from guys I'm doing on my lunch hour?

    I told him I was going to Washington for a weekend this fall, but I haven't mentioned Forks! I probably could say Forks and he still wouldn't even catch on.

    Dude - Don'cha see that big calendar in the kitchen with the pictures of that sexy British movie star? I have two FSE's and two pocket Edwards. Did it ever occur to you to ask about those? Nope.

    Even when my adult children tease me about Robward, my DH never even looks away from the basketball/football/poker/Law & Order/whatever shit he's watching on the TV. If I was that clueless, people would accuse me of being born blonde.

    And fuck if I just didn't have to kill a spider myself (in the middle of writing this comment)! Hell. What. Is. He. Good. For?

    WV preakin

    I'm pretty preakin fissed off right now! Fucking spider!

    ReplyDelete
  56. AMEN SISTER!!!

    I could have written the exact same story! (Except we don't go hunting - we go target shooting.)

    I spend ALL my time at home on the computer and he is totally fucking clueless! I'm reading fanfiction on the couch and he is on lazy-boy island looking up sports statistics or some similar guy shit.

    Heck! I wish he would look at some porn sites! I've learned so much from these stories - I'd like to try some! Whenever I do something "new" or "different" in the bedroom he sort of freaks out and looks at me like WTF? Where did that come from? Does he think I'm learning these new tricks from guys I'm doing on my lunch hour?

    I told him I was going to Washington for a weekend this fall, but I haven't mentioned Forks! I probably could say Forks and he still wouldn't even catch on.

    Dude - Don'cha see that big calendar in the kitchen with the pictures of that sexy British movie star? I have two FSE's and two pocket Edwards. Did it ever occur to you to ask about those? Nope.

    Even when my adult children tease me about Robward, my DH never even looks away from the basketball/football/poker/Law & Order/whatever shit he's watching on the TV. If I was that clueless, people would accuse me of being born blonde.

    And fuck if I just didn't have to kill a spider myself (in the middle of writing this comment)! Hell. What. Is. He. Good. For?

    WV preakin

    I'm pretty preakin fissed off right now! Fucking spider!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are our life now. Leave one!