Friday, June 11, 2010

The [Thankfully] Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

[Note from STY: JJ is cranky tonight! You've been warned...]

A note to all you Eclipse virgins before I get a started. I do not think that reading and/or discussing this novella is in any way a spoiler for the movie. So I think your virginity is safe with me tonight. Until I get you sloshingly drunk and take advantage of you, anyway.


Snarkier Than You was going to discuss this a few days ago but I got all petulant and bitchy because 1) I hadn't read it yet and 2) I'm an idiot and actually bought it because I totally forgot you could get it free online and since I shelled out the whopping seven bucks I was going to write about it, dammit.

Overall, I thought the novella was...okay. I'll give ya' the bad before I give you the good, though.

I'm not going to bother getting into all of the technical fails of this story--mainly because I probably overlooked a majority of them--but one of the things that I found irritating was the whole "teenage voice" style of writing that Stephenie Meyer attempted to do with TSSLoBT [and yes, I'm THAT lazy]. I've always been honest in my viewpoint of SM's writing, which is somewhere along the lines of "not that great but love the stories anyway," but it was pretty bad in this novella.

I'm also beginning to suspect that Stephenie Meyer was never actually a teenager herself, which would explain why she writes a bunch a books about teens who are teenagers forever.

Yup. Definitely no clue what it's like to be a teenager...

It's also clear that she knows nothing about the "dregs" of society because I highly doubt any fifteen-year-old runaway would actually suck a dick for a hamburger, which is apparently what Bree was willing to do with Riley. Crack or heroin, yes. A Big Mac from McDonald's... um, highly unlikely. I mean, seriously dude, aren't hamburgers on the dollar menu? Handjob, maybe...blowjob definitely not.


Basically, this little novella was entirely about Bree acknowledging--to varying degrees--and then dismissing every red flag, gut feeling, and blatantly obvious sign that she was marching right into her impending doom, and that made it kind of difficult for me to like her. Because she's a fucking dumbass.

I wanted to like her and I kind of did a little but after Riley came back to the basement without Diego and she stuck around I knew she deserved the ending she got.

I mean, seriously, Diego was all "I'm going to talk to Riley and show him we can go out to the sun but you can't go because it's super dangerous and I might die" and then he not-so-but-kinda-obviously does and she still doesn't splitsville. All because they shared a super-special two-second stony-lipped kiss (more of a peck, really) and it was important and, like I already said, really super special.

And this coming from a girl who was possibly going to give a blowie (or more?) for a burger. Uh huh.

Actually, this burger might be worth sucking some dick...

Moving on.

I realize that this was a novella and SM wanted to cram all she could into 178 pages but this little tale basically plowed through the plot like a fucking wrecking ball. Let's face it -- SM doesn't exactly do plot very well. You ever suddenly really have to poop and you sit down and it's all BAM! over and done with and you feel a little better but now you have to clean up?


That's kinda how this story is. It's like an explosive and vaguely satisfying dump.

There was so much more she could have done with this story, but instead she seemed intent on focusing on the fact that the newborns were unstable and violent and bloodthirsty.

Dude, we know. We read the saga, remember? Focus on Fred and his history, or give us a little more insight into Kristie or Raoul or someone because the only thing you really did get into was something we already fucking knew.

That being said, I did like reading the "other" side of the story, even if I did take issue with a lot of it. I wish she had taken a slightly different approach and maybe examined the relationships between the newborns a little more than she did.

There were some surprising aspects to it that left me feeling a little pleasant inside. Despite the fact that I thought the whole scene was kind of cheesy, I really liked the little twist of the Volturi showing up at Victoria's gingerbread house [gag]. I also thought Diego and Bree's discovery that they could venture out into the sun pretty neat-o, too. Although any vampire who believed the whole "oh you can go into the sun four days a year" thing deserved to be consumed by their own sparkly-ness.

Death by sparkle. It would be like this but only more painful and way less attractive.

At the end of the day (literally), I think this novella was redeemed by its, well, ending. It never occurred to me that Bree would try to "send" a message to Edward about the Volturi, and if that was implied in Eclipse, I totally fucking missed it. But her last act of courage, if you will, made me like Bree as a character a little more.

So, despite all my poo-pooing and nay-saying: would I recommend reading this?

Surprisingly, considering the rip-and-shred treatment above, yes. It's a really quick read and if you're a Twilight fan you'll enjoy it, even if you're rolling your eyes at some points. It's a juvenile tale... but then again, so is the entire saga. I think I forget that sometimes.

Regardless, I am eternally grateful for SM for writing the saga because if she never had, I would never be able to have such a wonderful love/hate/love relationship with it and whatever stems from it.

Now hurry up and finish Midnight Sun.

What did you guys think of it? Tear it up in the comments. The novella or me - I can take it.

65 comments:

  1. Just got mine (thanks Amazon) and will crack it tomorrow. Thanks for the additional background though...
    However, I'm still waiting for
    MIDNIGHT SUN, MIDNIGHT SUN, MIDNIGHT SUN!!!!

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  2. "That's kinda how this story is. It's like an explosive and vaguely satisfying dump.". <--- I am going to use this similie every chance I get. :)

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  3. I agree with every word you said.

    ESPECIALLY the "Now hurry up and finish Midnight Sun." Bitch better get on that shit now. TSSLoBT only held me over for the amount of time I read it. NEXT!

    "It's like an explosive and vaguely satisfying dump." I think that's a good comparison. SM totally pooped this book out extra fast.

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  4. Alright, someone slip her a laxative and see if Midnight Sun comes out her ass.

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  5. I was a little confused over her descripton of Edward, a red head?!? WTF. I agree with you opinions it was like a power dump. Would have liked more or better yet I rather she finish midnight sun than this.

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  6. Oh, I forgot about that part.

    Why DID she say Edward was a red head?! Epic fail for everyone?

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  7. I read it online.. and then i saw it in the store.. I was like OOOOOoooooooh i should get that.. its Twilighty..but then i thought.. erk I'll never re-read that so why bother.. It was short and sweet and i really like that she was sending messages to REDward but yeah.. thats about it.. And then she dies.. silly bitch should have ran.. but nnnnoooooooooooooo!! Hello dumb vampire!!.. DUH!

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  8. Is it obvious that you shouldn't read these comments if you haven't read the book? Anyway, **spoiler ahead***

    I was really bothered by the pile of ashes. Did I miss something? Like, if it was Diego, wouldn't Fred have told her something? I was reading it pretty fast, so maybe I missed the explanation.

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  9. To munkee- Diego wasn't killed in the house by the newborns,I think Riley and Victoria killed him when Diego told them about the whole sunlight thing.I think the ashes were just another vamp that got in a fight and got killed.

    anyway I liked tsslobt,although I do agree with you on the sense that I wish it was longer and there was more of a background story on the other characters.by the way,am I the only that totally loved fred?and I didn't realize either in eclipse that Bree was sending a message to Edward.this book made me really wish that the volturi had just let Bree go because there couldve been a whole spin-off book series,which means more things for us to waste our lives on =)

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  10. I love that HS caption - I teach geometry - don't hate me.

    I am saving my reading of ttsl (SHIT, I can't spell it)until next week as I am attending what is sure to be a deadly dull conference. I can only hope WI-FI is available in the seminar room. A little fan fic should make the day go faster, dontcha think?

    Celebrating my one year anniversary as a Twilighter. I RENTED Twilight a year ago this weekend. Hadn't even read one book. Didn't know anything about FF. Never blogged, or twittered. Hooray for a VERY interesting, lemony year, and thank you for making my RL (including geometry) suck a lot less.

    Thanks especially to all of you, and the awesome JJ, SNY, and MYG. I stumbled onto your site last summer, and it was you who turned me onto all things Twilight, especially FF. You make me laugh everyday. and snort. and change my panties. and sometimes, cry.

    Love xx

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  11. I pretty much feel the same. I don't think it was earth-shattering or anything, but it was, indeed - (suprisingly) interesting for the most part. I would love one day to see the Cullen's come across Fred, maybe even adopt him into the family. I especially liked the part when Bree filled Edward in on Jane & co. Ya know, it's kinda like fan fiction. It's another take of the story. That's why we all ran to ff right? To get a little something more of Twi. Unless she has some kind of aversion to making a bajillion more dollars, she really should get on MS. There's been a lot of people talking about MS lately, many don't get why some of us want it. It's the same story..blah blah blah. But again - it's a different take on the same story - when the original storyline is so good - why wouldn't we want several different angles of it? Whatever. I'm rambling. I need another drink...

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  12. you girls fucking rock my shit. that is all.

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  13. @Adonica - {{{sniffle}}} - it might just be the Friday night cocktails talkin' but that's sweet (even though I think you left out LKW but she'll probably be ok and not hunt you down and kill you)! Happy anniversary! Twi-niversary!

    : )

    oh and "the redhead" thing - WTF?! that was nuts!!! not sure how the book/novella got published with that in it - clearly the copy editors aren't fans - lol!

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  14. Yikes! Holy twatwaffles - my bad. Thanks for the heads up, SNY. I owe you.

    1000 apologies to LKW. Guess that's what I get for posting so late at night after a full day of teaching geometry (!). Sadly, no one even close to EC or EM or JW has ever entered my classroom. A girl can hope...

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  15. Um, that's STY. Time for bed now. Alone. sigh.

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  16. sounds like I should read the last few pages... read the first few and said "meh". There is far better FF out there. And thanks again twatwaffles for ruining my life by getting me hooked on FF.

    wv - dizes. Bree dizes at the end.

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  17. @Janey....didn't she count, and everybody but one was accounted for?
    I think it would have been more satisfying for her to find out the details about Diego.

    Thanks for the help!!

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  18. Um, yeah. What you all said.

    The "redhead" stuff - I saw someone comment somewhere (too lazy to go find it) that they thought that was SM's attempt at showing Bree's lack of vocabulary. Like, she couldn't come up with "bronze," and the closest thing was "redhead." Meh. I don't buy it.

    The "message" to Edward - I totally felt like this was an SM "brilliant" afterthought. Like, she thought of it and went, "That's genius!" Because I don't think when she was writing Eclipse she had any idea that was what she was doing. It seemed like Edward just figured it out that Jane and those guys *just happened* to come along right after they were needed - I don't think he needs the thoughts of a newborn to help him reach that conclusion. So I felt like that was a little lame.

    Freaky Fred - BEST part of the whole story. LOVED Fred.

    Overall, I'm glad I read it, but I don't think it said anything new. It was just a like a short, poorly written fan fic alternate story, IMO.

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  19. Hmmm. I'm on the fence. I bought it to add to my twi-collection, and read it in an hour or so, but I don't feel like my life changed. My biggest issues:

    1) No chapters. 178 pages is too long without breaking it up. It's not that hard, Stephenie, you've done this before.

    2) REDward. What the fuck. Thesaurus, much?

    3) The whole re-telling shit we already know thing. The only people who are going to read this are already fans of the saga, tell us about some shit we don't know. More about Fred, perhaps.

    4) IT'S NOT MIDNIGHT SUN.

    There. I feel better now. Have a nice weekend, bitches xx

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  20. Agree. Agree. Agree. Just a little read just to keep the Twi-fun rolling, I guess. I, too, opted not to buy the book from WallyWorld last night.

    Now. I am SO glad you brought up MS. I found a vid about a week and a half ago that skeered the everlovin' shit out of me. I've had nightmares. I've been afraid to say anything till now. WTF is she SAYING??!!??!!

    http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Twilight-Author-Stephenie-Meyer-Video

    :: running to the corner, hands over my ears, I can't hear you...I can't hear you!!! I don't really wanna know!!! La-la-laLALALA ::

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  21. Two things about it kind of got to me. 1. Riley's overly detailed description of the torturous death the newborns can expect from "her" if they disobey, I thought that was a little graphic for SM's usual PGness and because it was unexpected it affected me more. (But then again I just have absolutely no ability to tolerate depictions or descriptions of torture in movies or books.)
    2. The very last sentence and the idea that (at least in Bree's mind) Edward was talking to her and not Bella when he said don't watch, was oddly touching to me for some reason.
    All in all it was at least worth reading online for free.

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  22. Totally appreciate the 'dump' analogy- Nietzche was also fond of a good dump so you're brilliant!
    Wasn't going to read it! Started it when I found out it was free online- husband tried to buy it for me @ barnesnnoble; & I wouldn't let him & then finally- The nice children's librarian told me they had just gotten a copy back in & I should check it out- so I did... & I'm on my second read because it is just that short!
    Found a typo which annoys- Too lazy to go see what page but- Bree is saying Diego is "aways" on her mind- should be 'always'?
    About the Red head- I too got the feeling SM was trying to show Bree's lack of education & that whole 'dregs' thing feels forced like what SM thinks some po' kids would do and say...
    I LOVE Twilight and yet also think SM's writing 'skillzzz' leave something to be desired like better writing skills.
    I also had a problemo w/ the ashes Bree came back to!
    & really why DID they not just stay out when they didn't trust Riley to begin with?!
    There was good bits like Freaky Fred- More of him would have been good & also loved the play on Edward's words at the end where he says not to look... I could see how Edward was able to see the volturi's alterior motives from Bree and it was cool to see it through her pov.
    The other thing that bothered me was how Bree felt she was, 'missing something obvious'- Isn't that how Bella feels when she is solving the 'visitor' riddle in Eclipse? The language was too similar...
    All in all it's more Twi for the hopelessly addicted & that's me but seriously just give me more MIDNIGHT SUN! I've read the draft 3x already!!!

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  23. I havn't read it yet so I really have no right to comment but am I the only person who was pissed off that Bella wasn't a bloodthirsty newborn thus highlighting another gaping hole in the plot of Breaking Dawn?

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  24. Bree got more action from Diego in her ssl than Bella got in her long ass three and a half novel, 946773483 paged life from Edward. Just sayin.

    LMAO @ SM never having been a teenager! And @ the hamburger for a blow job- omg.

    I thought the mind-talking to Edward was extremely contrived. Edward can read the volturis mind and wouldn't need Bree. And even if they blocked him,, any dimwit can guess the volturi held back to see if the cullen's lost...and Edward "needing" Bree to explain this to him makes him a fiditiot.

    To be honest, Bree's whole attitude was kind of contrived...in eclipse she was painted as an out-of-control newborn, crazed for Bella's blood. But in this story she was like a different person, and I felt SM had to twist her feelings when she was captured to stay true to Eclipse. But in doing that, she was inconsistent with how she painted Bree in the earlier parts of the novella. Reading this story on its own, I totally didn't buy Bree as the blood thirsty newborn Bella sees. I almost wish she wrote it from another vampire's perspective so she could make a whole, strong character without being confined to what she already wrote in Eclipse, including the ending...but then we'd be extra pissed she wrote about a real nobody yet still ignores MS!

    The best parts of the story definitely was the new stuff, like Diego and seeing how they hunted and lived and swam and of course there is the hysterical FRED! I'd like to see emmett's reaction to that gift, lol. So yeah, SM definitely didn't need to retell us things we already knew.

    The ending, "close your eyes," really was nicely done.

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  25. Love the post, as usual JJ I am waking up everyone in my house laughing. And thanks for the Death by Sparkle pic, my new background image.

    Saw a clip the other day where Riley is talking to Bree, she actually has lines in Eclipse before she is captured...

    On the Bree book. No she does not seem much like a newborn vamp. And she definitely does not seem like a teeange runaway. Still I liked it, but not enough to buy the book. I did like the message to Edward, though during my 8 times reading Eclipse I always assumed he had read one of the Volturi minds and saw that they waited until it was over to show up. Of course I barely noticed Bree in that book.

    I would have thought with her extra special vampire eyes she could have come up with something better than 'redhead' but she is only a teenager apparently with a shallow vocab. I loved the ending "close your eyes" that was nice.

    Hate to bring up religion, but SM was probably never much of an average teenager, she is mormon and I am sure that made a difference. (I have lots of Mormon friends and see the differences in how they were/are raised.)

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  26. I saw it at the bookstore yesterday, picked it up and then put it back down. I just can't seem to make myself read it. Guess I'm not a true twihard:(

    But your post was hilarious, as usual.

    I do have to add that I don't think there is anything juvenile about giving BJs for burgers, even if it means Bree can get a toy with her happy meal.

    It's too early for all this, must wake up. Thanks for the rec!

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  27. I'm not sure why I'm dragging my feet here... I kinda want to read it but I'm afraid I'll finish it and wish I had those two hours back (or however the fuck long it will take me to read it.)

    Meh, still undecided. Too much fanfiction to get caught up on... that's more important!

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  28. My thoughts on the Bree story --
    1)Read it online and make your own donation to the Red Cross. That way, you get a tax receipt.
    2)Lack of chapters or breaks was really annoying. We need our bio-breaks. Where were the editors?
    3)Freaky Fred was the best character in story. I bet he'll be around for the Breaking Dawn movie.
    4)Red hair? I had no idea who Bree was talking about when she described Edward. Edward's hair is bronze!
    5)Interesting little Volturi plot, but we kind of knew that was happening in Eclipse.
    6)I loved the reference to Riley Park in Vancouver. It does exist.

    While I want her to finish Midnight Sun, all the fanfiction out there has spoiled me. Not sure if it will measure up.

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  29. Luckily I found it to read online before I bought the book..and I am happy I did. Honestly it was a great idea to write this little back story so we can get more info on what was happening behind the scenes ...but... it just seemed so rushed to me. It was like SM got this idea to write this and hurried to get it done and out before Eclipse to try and make a quick buck.

    Here is what I liked and didn't like so much:

    [1]Riley not telling the Newborns about being able to go into the sun..genius. I mean its not like they would know either way with all the old vampire superstitions.
    [2]In Eclipse Riley seemed so unsure of himself (to me)and in this book he was calm (minus the random anger issues) and he was a leader...
    [3]Freaky Fred...WTF was that. did SM have to much to eat one night and while taking a crap came up with the brilliant idea to have a newborn with the power to stink it up? he was like the weird stinky kid in school. I actually felt bad for the guy. What does that mean he was like when he was human(since vamps powers are enhanced traits of yourself)
    [4] the whole story all I could think of was. Bree your a dumbass. The whole way thru she was making the wrong decision.
    [5]Jasper was an asshole...I love me some Japser but I mean come on Bree was giving herself up and he was being a douche..just saying

    To be honest...after reading this I am scared to see what Midnight Sun is going to be like...but like all you..I will still read it because its full of Edwardness :)

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  30. I read it in one sitting. And per my usual reaction to reading SM, there were many a times when I wanted to throw the book across the room and ask "why am I filling my head with this garbage?" I have no doubt SM was once a teenaged girl, but clearly very sheltered and molded. It's almost embarassing reading and getting that peak into her head.

    I think that's why Midnight Sun is so fu@king good. Writing from a male perspective was creatively freeing. She could dump her preconceived notions of young women like a good shit.

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  31. WTF?!?? Blow jobs in this one and "fade to black" on Isle Esme in Breaking Dawn?

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  32. stilllookingformyvampJune 12, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    I actually felt sorry for Bree because she was so fucking dumb about Deigo not coming back to the house. I went from shaking my head to yelling at the book that she deserves to die, back to shaking my head.

    And I loved Fred and Diego. I thought both were far more interesting that Bree.

    The twist at the end with Bree sending her thoughts to Edward made me feel like I hadn't totally wasted my time reading it. But when I thought about it, why does he need Bree? He can read the Volturi

    I was hoping to learn something new about the newborns, and I didn't. But it was Twilight, so I enjoyed it. I think SM would be far better off spending her time finishing MS.

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  33. Was it the best read in the world? No, but for what it was - a "novella" which was really just going to go into the movie companion or whatever - it was good enough. It was interesting to see what was going on in Seattle and the relationship between the newborns, which is, of course, so very different from the Cullens and even the Volturi. I also loved the Volturi's little involvement, as it was unexpected (for me, anyway). I actually give a shit about Bree now. Reading Eclipse, I couldn't have given a shit about this bitch, but now? It makes me sad that she dies.

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  34. Hey...
    I haven't read it yet but this weekend it WILL happen...but I spent my first cup of coffee this morning reading this review and all your comments. JJ, god...I love it when you review something because a) you do it so well and b) there is a 99% chance I am going to agree with you...so I always enjoy reading them.
    You know...I think we DO forget that this series is YA..mainly because we have Bella getting rammed on the air hockey table in fanfiction.

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  35. JJ, "like an explosive and vaguely satisfying dump" - I knew there was a reason I loved you.

    I have to say that when I was reading this and Bree and Diego have their "moment" where they see each other in the sun and fall in love, I sort of forgot that I wasn't reading fanfic, and internally I was like "Oh man, they are SO gonna do it!" Oops.

    Also, did anyone else have issues with how SM described vampire kissing as "sounding different?" All I could picture was how I used to make my Barbies kiss as a kid. Totally Not Sexy.

    Overall, I definitely enjoyed the "novella," but yeah, I'm pretty much onboard with everything JJ said. I sort of attributed Bree's idiocy to her being so young, but honestly - no excuse. Diego was gone, girl, you shoulda peaced with Fred when you had the chance! And I DID love the end, "Close your eyes."

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  36. I'm with everyone who thought Fred was a great character. I really wish she had developed him a little more. I liked the whole "talent" of being repulsive. I kind of pictured him as the kid who always sat by himself in the lunch room or something.

    @Fayted17 - Yeah, Riley's description of the death was a little over the top and not exactly PG -- kinda like Edward gnawing the baby out of Bella in Breaking Dawn.

    I know others have said it but I wanted to kill Bree for not being smart enough to realize that Riley was indeed describing Diego's death. Idiot.

    @SpinningHead - LMAO!! You're absolutely right! Bree did get more action than Bella in the first three books. lol.

    I didn't think it was absolutely terrible but I did like the ending -- I have to admit that I felt a little sorry for Bree because she took comfort in someone's last words that were meant for someone else.

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  37. Totally agree with you! (I wrote a review on my blog, lenzilikesit.com...which is not a portn site, no matter what the title implys. I honestly wasn't thinking when I named my blog.) Bree was annoying. I teach 8th graders for a living, so I'm perhaps a bit more aware of how teens sound nowadays, and Bree sounds nothing like one. It's sort of like SM tried to "talk teen" at the beginning of the novella and then just gave up. What's with all of her teen girl protagonists being book nerds, too? Do girls who suck dick for burgers also enjoy a good book every now and then? Hmm.... I did enjoy learning about the Voluturi and Bree's private conversation with Edward (who was referred to as the "red head"...WTF?) I'm sure we are going to have more of Freaky Fred, but I'm sick of learning about other vampires. I want more Bella, Edward, Jake and Reneseme. I don't want to read more about a vampire who can make me gag. eh. Not interested SM. Not interested AT ALL!

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  38. 1. That Handjobs for Hamburger pic...priceless.
    2. The Burger Motorcycle = Rob's wet dream.
    3. I love you.
    4. I hated this book.
    5. I read it AT the store...I was neither embarrassed nor impressed.
    6. Red haired vampire, mind-reader. What the fuck ever....

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  39. I totally agree with you. It wasn't a very good "story". And it wasn't well written either. But I liked knowing what happened in Eclipse from another point of view... The only real "revelations" for me were that the Volturi did indeed know about Victoria's plan to kill the Cullens and were going to let it happen. They only imply this in Eclipse. And the revelation that Bree does in fact confirm this to Edward through her thoughts. But this made me enjoy only about 30 pages of this book. The rest was so heavy-handed. Trying to force Bree to come to these realizations about her situation just because we (as the reader) already knew them... No 15-year-old newborn vampire would have that much sense according to SM. So why are we to believe Bree is so much smarter than the rest of them? She wouldn't be thinking any of that according to SM from previous descriptions of Newborns. She would only be thinking "blood blood blood"... So, trying to give Bree a voice is kinda ridiculous. She was meant to be a throw-away character in the first place. A vampire without control. To show Bella what her future might be like.

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  40. JJ I was like you. I was on vacation and my friend picked me up a copy, then when I got back, I was like Fuck! I could have gotten it for free! Oh, well. At least a part of the sale will go to the American Red Cross.

    As for reading it, I’m a total TwilightFail. I have yet to venture into Bree’s mind. I did thumb through it, and the only thing I could get out of it, was the font was fucking big. Or maybe that’s just my eyes. Uh, anyway, I do intend to read it and as always, LOVE your review.

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  41. I just wanted to say how I think it's great that you can bring almost anything, in any conversation, back to poop. You seriously made my day with this post!

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  42. I love me some Freaky Fred. My new goal in life is to find him and make him my bitch.

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  43. I alreaady said my whole opinion on the other post. But Ithink it's worth saying again. Yes, I enjoyed it. And in all honesty, I enjoy Stephenies writing style. I hate when an author takes four pages to describe a fucking livingroom or certain mountain scene. God, it's annoying and nothing but page fillers. I appreciate when an author writes like we talk. It's easier to read and flows better. That being said I really enjoyed the novella and think it should be read before Eclipse. It gave me a tremendous understanding of the newbrn phase and how chaotic it can be. It gave us all a better understand into Jasper. Bree spent 3 months in chaos/survival mode. Jasper went decades. It makes me realize he wasnt weak like we all thought, his thought process is so ingrained that he has a difficult time not going on that first instinct; to kill and drink a humans blood. Poor Jazz. Bree, on the other hand, made me tear up a bit in the end, while she was desperatly telling Edward all she knew. Can you imagine, realizing your family was living a lie, and that your so called enemy was really the good guy all along? Poor Bree. She was smart but not smart enough. Deigo and Fred we're a sweet twist to the story I thought. I wish she would have added Fred more.

    I said it more eloquantly in the other thread. Im sort of spewing forth verbal diarea. Sorry.

    As JJ said, WRITE MIDNGHT SUN bitch, or I swear I'll cut you! Please?

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  44. Completely agree 100% with everything you said.

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  45. (This is the other anonymous, the one who has been lurking and writing for weeks but is too lazy to get a name.)

    JJ@12:08- I agree, the ending was the best part of the book. And the last two lines were f'ing brilliant, SO poignant. It's what she does best. It's why SM has sold millions of books; it's why I keep reading page after page of her sometimes dribble.........

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  46. i neither loved or hated this novella. it had some good points (mainly Fred), but the part I really didn't like was the reaction that they all had to Bella's scent. To me, her scent should only be that "sweet" to Edward, which is why he is so drawn to her. To every other vampire, she should smell like any other human.

    Honestly, SM could write a novel about the trip Charlie's food takes from ingestion to sludge cake and I would read it. I may not love it, but I would read it. Although, I will not be reading any sequels she may write to The Host. Now THAT was crap.

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  47. Bree was a character I found intriguing every time I read Eclipse. Odd for how little a part she actually had. I enjoyed The Short Second Life. The writing was dumbed down more than normal but it only took me a second to realize it's because Bree was 15 and likely minimally educated. I'd like to know how Fred's doing though - he was really interesting. Poor Diego, he and Bree could have had wonderful adventures. It was a tragic story and I enjoyed it!

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  48. My first post. I read the book, didn't love it, but I thought it was OK. I wish she had thought of this before she wrote Eclipse. If the Cullens could have saved Bree, she would have been perfect for Jacob to imprint on instead of the mutant baby. She would have been part of the Cullen family so he would still have been around Bella, but without the whole pedo storyline.

    I also found the ending sad, we don't know if Edward is actually getting Bree's thoughts, or if she just thinks he is & that he's being nice to her, & the last two lines where she thinks he's telling her not to watch is kind of heartbreaking.

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  49. I liked it for what it was... but I totally agree with Another Jenny... I kinda felt like it was more like fanfic than an original Saga piece. Other than that you all covered it. I liked the learning about the sun thing and the end when Bree tries to send a message to Edward. The only thing that didn't bother me that bothered most of you guys is the red head thing... I guess I kinda thought "bronze" was pretty much an odd shade of red. Maybe I'm remembering wrong! OMG I better go read the books again. I'm forgetting the details! 8-)

    BTW: as a side note, I do think some 15 yr old runaways would give a bj for a burger... I actually know a couple of teens who'd be all too happy to if the guy was cute... its sad to say.

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  50. @Kerri - good point about Jasper! I can't believe I didn't think of that. It's so true, the story DOES give some great perspective on what Jasper's life must have been like for sooo long - now I kind of want to go back and read it again with that in mind!

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  51. I'm with LKW... I've got a list of fanfics a mile long I would rather read. I'm not a big SM fan, but I thank her for creating these characters. Midnight Sun is my favorite book of the Saga but will she EVER FUCKING FINISH IT?

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  52. OK...yeah read it and it was OK. I wasn't expecting much going in...it only took two hours and since it is 100 fricking degrees in ATL this week not like I was going outside this weekend!

    But on to more important stuff....

    WHERE THE HELL IS JJ's COMMENTARY ON THE ECLIPSE SOUNDTRACK???? :)

    I puffy heart Sia, Band of Horses and Vampire Weekend so I am totally biased going into it, but I am dying to read your review.

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  53. I'm with everyone who thought Fred was a great character. I really wish she had developed him a little more. I liked the whole "talent" of being repulsive. I kind of pictured him as the kid who always sat by himself in the lunch room or something.

    @Fayted17 - Yeah, Riley's description of the death was a little over the top and not exactly PG -- kinda like Edward gnawing the baby out of Bella in Breaking Dawn.

    I know others have said it but I wanted to kill Bree for not being smart enough to realize that Riley was indeed describing Diego's death. Idiot.

    @SpinningHead - LMAO!! You're absolutely right! Bree did get more action than Bella in the first three books. lol.

    I didn't think it was absolutely terrible but I did like the ending -- I have to admit that I felt a little sorry for Bree because she took comfort in someone's last words that were meant for someone else.

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  54. WTF?!?? Blow jobs in this one and "fade to black" on Isle Esme in Breaking Dawn?

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  55. I read it in one sitting. And per my usual reaction to reading SM, there were many a times when I wanted to throw the book across the room and ask "why am I filling my head with this garbage?" I have no doubt SM was once a teenaged girl, but clearly very sheltered and molded. It's almost embarassing reading and getting that peak into her head.

    I think that's why Midnight Sun is so fu@king good. Writing from a male perspective was creatively freeing. She could dump her preconceived notions of young women like a good shit.

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  56. Luckily I found it to read online before I bought the book..and I am happy I did. Honestly it was a great idea to write this little back story so we can get more info on what was happening behind the scenes ...but... it just seemed so rushed to me. It was like SM got this idea to write this and hurried to get it done and out before Eclipse to try and make a quick buck.

    Here is what I liked and didn't like so much:

    [1]Riley not telling the Newborns about being able to go into the sun..genius. I mean its not like they would know either way with all the old vampire superstitions.
    [2]In Eclipse Riley seemed so unsure of himself (to me)and in this book he was calm (minus the random anger issues) and he was a leader...
    [3]Freaky Fred...WTF was that. did SM have to much to eat one night and while taking a crap came up with the brilliant idea to have a newborn with the power to stink it up? he was like the weird stinky kid in school. I actually felt bad for the guy. What does that mean he was like when he was human(since vamps powers are enhanced traits of yourself)
    [4] the whole story all I could think of was. Bree your a dumbass. The whole way thru she was making the wrong decision.
    [5]Jasper was an asshole...I love me some Japser but I mean come on Bree was giving herself up and he was being a douche..just saying

    To be honest...after reading this I am scared to see what Midnight Sun is going to be like...but like all you..I will still read it because its full of Edwardness :)

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  57. Love the post, as usual JJ I am waking up everyone in my house laughing. And thanks for the Death by Sparkle pic, my new background image.

    Saw a clip the other day where Riley is talking to Bree, she actually has lines in Eclipse before she is captured...

    On the Bree book. No she does not seem much like a newborn vamp. And she definitely does not seem like a teeange runaway. Still I liked it, but not enough to buy the book. I did like the message to Edward, though during my 8 times reading Eclipse I always assumed he had read one of the Volturi minds and saw that they waited until it was over to show up. Of course I barely noticed Bree in that book.

    I would have thought with her extra special vampire eyes she could have come up with something better than 'redhead' but she is only a teenager apparently with a shallow vocab. I loved the ending "close your eyes" that was nice.

    Hate to bring up religion, but SM was probably never much of an average teenager, she is mormon and I am sure that made a difference. (I have lots of Mormon friends and see the differences in how they were/are raised.)

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  58. Totally appreciate the 'dump' analogy- Nietzche was also fond of a good dump so you're brilliant!
    Wasn't going to read it! Started it when I found out it was free online- husband tried to buy it for me @ barnesnnoble; & I wouldn't let him & then finally- The nice children's librarian told me they had just gotten a copy back in & I should check it out- so I did... & I'm on my second read because it is just that short!
    Found a typo which annoys- Too lazy to go see what page but- Bree is saying Diego is "aways" on her mind- should be 'always'?
    About the Red head- I too got the feeling SM was trying to show Bree's lack of education & that whole 'dregs' thing feels forced like what SM thinks some po' kids would do and say...
    I LOVE Twilight and yet also think SM's writing 'skillzzz' leave something to be desired like better writing skills.
    I also had a problemo w/ the ashes Bree came back to!
    & really why DID they not just stay out when they didn't trust Riley to begin with?!
    There was good bits like Freaky Fred- More of him would have been good & also loved the play on Edward's words at the end where he says not to look... I could see how Edward was able to see the volturi's alterior motives from Bree and it was cool to see it through her pov.
    The other thing that bothered me was how Bree felt she was, 'missing something obvious'- Isn't that how Bella feels when she is solving the 'visitor' riddle in Eclipse? The language was too similar...
    All in all it's more Twi for the hopelessly addicted & that's me but seriously just give me more MIDNIGHT SUN! I've read the draft 3x already!!!

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  59. Two things about it kind of got to me. 1. Riley's overly detailed description of the torturous death the newborns can expect from "her" if they disobey, I thought that was a little graphic for SM's usual PGness and because it was unexpected it affected me more. (But then again I just have absolutely no ability to tolerate depictions or descriptions of torture in movies or books.)
    2. The very last sentence and the idea that (at least in Bree's mind) Edward was talking to her and not Bella when he said don't watch, was oddly touching to me for some reason.
    All in all it was at least worth reading online for free.

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  60. Hmmm. I'm on the fence. I bought it to add to my twi-collection, and read it in an hour or so, but I don't feel like my life changed. My biggest issues:

    1) No chapters. 178 pages is too long without breaking it up. It's not that hard, Stephenie, you've done this before.

    2) REDward. What the fuck. Thesaurus, much?

    3) The whole re-telling shit we already know thing. The only people who are going to read this are already fans of the saga, tell us about some shit we don't know. More about Fred, perhaps.

    4) IT'S NOT MIDNIGHT SUN.

    There. I feel better now. Have a nice weekend, bitches xx

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  61. Um, that's STY. Time for bed now. Alone. sigh.

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  62. @Adonica - {{{sniffle}}} - it might just be the Friday night cocktails talkin' but that's sweet (even though I think you left out LKW but she'll probably be ok and not hunt you down and kill you)! Happy anniversary! Twi-niversary!

    : )

    oh and "the redhead" thing - WTF?! that was nuts!!! not sure how the book/novella got published with that in it - clearly the copy editors aren't fans - lol!

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  63. Is it obvious that you shouldn't read these comments if you haven't read the book? Anyway, **spoiler ahead***

    I was really bothered by the pile of ashes. Did I miss something? Like, if it was Diego, wouldn't Fred have told her something? I was reading it pretty fast, so maybe I missed the explanation.

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  64. I was a little confused over her descripton of Edward, a red head?!? WTF. I agree with you opinions it was like a power dump. Would have liked more or better yet I rather she finish midnight sun than this.

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  65. Just got mine (thanks Amazon) and will crack it tomorrow. Thanks for the additional background though...
    However, I'm still waiting for
    MIDNIGHT SUN, MIDNIGHT SUN, MIDNIGHT SUN!!!!

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