Friday, August 20, 2010

Oh Mah Gahd, They is Kissin!!!

By now, I'm sure all of you have heard that there is a picture of the Precious and KStew doing the tongue tango. Hell, I'm pretty sure all of you have probably already seen it with your own peepers. And by "seen it" I mean, enlarged it on your computer screen and then stared at it until your eyes started bleeding. It's definitely a gritty, seedy photo and kind of leaves you with a holy-shit-I'm-a-fucking-peeping-Tom feeling but, it's there nonetheless. And feeling like a total pervert doesn't phase me in the least.

Even though I've seen the photo a few times on various sites, I heard a rumor that if you post it Celebuzz will come to your house in the middle of the night, kidnap you, strip you naked and force you to look at picture after picture of that little shit Justin Beaver. So, yeah, not posting it here.

Anyhoo, if you haven't seen it, I'm pretty sure it looks just like this but with KStew and RPattz:

Like I said, not sure if the whole you-post-the-picture-we-forcibly-put-things-up-your-anus threat is true but I'm not taking any chances so you can find the pictures here.

I don’t doubt that they're hanging on to that photo like it's the second coming of Christ, actually. Getting a picture of RPattz and KStew kissing is like snapping a photo of Bigfoot jerking off. That elusive, dude.

Waaaait!! I swear it wasn't what you think it is! I was SCRATCHING my thigh, you bitch. GIMME THAT FUCKING CAMERA!!!!

To be honest, I don't really blame Robsten for trying to keep that shit under wraps. It has to absolutely suck a dirty dick to have popping bulbs and flashing cameras in your face 24/7. Shit, ML and I aren't even remotely famous and we almost never kiss in public, but that's mainly because ML is really shy and thinks everyone is looking at us when they are actually looking away. I like to make him kiss me in public and then I whisper, "everyone's waaaaaaatching yoooooooou" because I am a kick ass girlfriend like that.

It's very romantic.

Regardless, when it comes to Robsten, Nonsten or whatever, I've always been don't-give-a-flying-fuck-sten. If they're together, more power to 'em. If not, whatever.

Hot damn, KStew. You lucky, beautiful little bitch, you. Hot. Dayum.

But, whatever's going on, it better stay "going on" for at least the next, what? Six months? Or there is going to be trouble. Because I suspect that Breaking Dawn is going to need all the help it can get.


  1. FIIIIIIIIRST! I heart R+K. I squeeed over the pictures like a drooling, brainless 14yo t.waffle... as I will for every picture of them canoodling. Team Crapsten!

  2. ...or maybe i shouldn't be bragging about being first at 9pm on a friday evening. maybe it's time to rediscover my social life, which has been missing since approximately august of 2008...

  3. Eh I don't really care.... As long as they are happy who cares.

  4. :) LMAO! OMG...I posted the pics but made them black and white and hid them amongst a bunch of other Robsten pics. Let's hope nobody tries to anal probe me in my sleep.

    And yes, Kristen is a beautiful lucky bitch.

    xo J

  5. He's a beard. Remember you heard it here first.

  6. I personally am whatever-sten, but those pics are HOT. Dayum....

  7. Aaaaaand now we know what we've already suspected all along. I don't care what they do in their personal lives. That's their business but I sorta think perhaps, just maybe, their relationship might have kinda pro'ly killed their on screen chemistry. There. I said it.

    I mean, there was nothing hotter than their snog session in Twilight (I still can't get over that little lip curl thing he did during that scene) but it's just gone completely downhill from there.

    I'm not gonna root for them to break up just so I can watch some fuck-hawt pillow trashin', headboard breakin', good time sexin' on the big screen. However, if that's what happens I'm not gonna complain. Just sayin'.

  8. Yeah, I pretty much agree--as if we didn't know this already. I AM surprised that it took this long for the Paps to get it on camera, though.

    Ugh, I used to be up in the air to whether I thought she was attractive or not, but fuck. She's hot, he's fuckhawt. And I am nowhere in this equation. Ugh. Enjoy his perfect lips, "you lucky, beautiful little bitch, you!!" LoL

    VW: sumbowe- "Rob will be getting sumbowe chika bow wow after THAT photo!" *snicker*

  9. I still refuse to believe it, call me a stupid twat licker but nope, I just don't see it as anything more than a drunken fumble in front of the BFF (creepy Tomstu seriously)..their social lives have got to be pretty limited with their schedules, they're just horny victims of circumstance and limited outside interactions....It's cool that they can appease their horniness but I don't think it's anything deeper, not like what I think matters anyways lol ( note to self figure out how to get embroiled in limited canadian social scene for next time muuhahaha)

  10. Count me in on team "don't give a flying fuck-sten"!!! Sometimes I read blogs that devolve into the are too, are not, are too, are not, bullshit and run screaming back to the safety and sanity (relatively speaking) of Twitard.

    @Porphryias_Curse (need to look that up)....I agree with you on TomStu...fucking creepy or what?

  11. Hey,

    Check out my blog. its called

    follow it along, and comment on the chapters. It is also an artwork for my uni project, so pretty cool.


  12. Well said JJ!!!! Someone needs to be tapping that hot arse and more power to the Stew if she is.

    And I totally agree....they better keep that shit together through the filming of Breaking Dawn because that book is going to need all the help it can get when it gets to the big screen.

  13. I think they are a cute couple, and don't really GAF if they are or aren't, but, I am hoping Mr. Myg is right. For all our sakes. Because if she breaks his heart and leaves him for Dakota? We'll be right here to pick up the pieces.

  14. I'm game for whatever they got going on. But really, as soon as I saw the pic, I went home and threw in my Coupling dvd because I immediately thought of this:

    Susan: So is it absolutely necessary to think about somebody else? [during sex]

    Jeff: Well, everybody does. That's why there are so many celebrity marriages.

    Sally: I'm sorry?

    Jeff: Eh? Well, you know, if - if you fantasize about someone else during sex, and so does your partner, and, you know, those two people that you're fantasizing about happen to meet while you're still doing it, they're bound to sense something, aren't they? Because they're connecting on, like, a virtual plane. So can you imagine what it was like when Posh first met Beckham? They were the epicenter of a non-stop, nationwide virtual shag!
    [Coupling, 2000. Seas. 1 Ep. 2: "Size Matters"] *Start at 4:59 for the scene, but the whole epi is hilarious*

    I think that's what happens. For real. I'm still holding out for the sex tape, though.

  15. OMG- this post was effin' hilarious!! I literally almost peed my pants since I had to go really bad but couldn't before reading the post and all the comments. Since I saw THE pics I was hoping it would end up here. (those grainy pics did look shady and did make me feel a little dirty)

    TomStu is creepy for staring but he may have been looking for paps... in which case, he is an EPIC failure.

    Can't imagine "hiding" from a little snoggery 24/7 tho! Especially several drinks in!! Surprised they kept clothes on with all that dark alley hautness.

    My thoughts...they need to abstain for at least a month before BD. I want to see major action and passion baby! Not "Cut". "Ok see you in my trailer in 5." BRING IT R+K!!

    @MyAfterCarIsAnXKR: LMFAO~ I think we can all relate! We're Twitarded~

  16. Maybe this is the deal - they're rehearsing for Breaking Dawn. I believe that they are both serious actors and care about their craft, and they both know that BD is going to be an important legacy for them, so they're practicing and rehearsing so they can get the sex scenes perfect. (I have to get a tissue to wipe the sarcasm off my mouth.) Also, when I was at the grocery store yesterday, I saw an article in InStyle magazine (and we know that it's an impeccable source) that they have rented a little bungalow in LA, the pix of it is just too darling and so romantic - I hope it's true so they can continue with perfecting their "craft". (Got to get another tissue, that sarcasm is just dripping all over the place!)

  17. That's it. I'm changing my name to Kristen Stewart. At least then there is a chance Rob might confuse us if I ran into him while he's really drunk.


  18. "Getting a picture of RPattz and KStew kissing is like snapping a photo of Bigfoot jerking off."-- Bwahahahahah oh I luv u JJ!

    Yupyup I totally ogled and inspected the shit outa The Snog Pix like it was my job... I guess feeling like a peeping tom doesn't phase me either *shrug*

    And the Robsten 'mouth fucking' pix (nod to MOBS) are on one of my craptasticly sad blogs.. but I didn't post 'em, I swear Celebuzz! One of my team members did! So goddamnit she better be willing to take the probing!

    And hey, don't be hatin' on the lurkin'/pervin' TomStu... I fully admit I'd be shamelessly gaping if that shit played out in front of me.. I guess that makes me a pervy pervert too... Call me Tom!.. We can perv together!

  19. Great post, love it! I am totally Robsten. I want to be/see/lick both of them. And I rejoiced to see a pic of them giving each other a little going over.

    But having seen the spoof Breaking Dawn trailer over at twicrack addict, and then reading this, I am really not looking forward to Breaking Dawn.

    How are they going to make it any good? At best it's going to be a total chick flick (at least the first one anyway) emotions, marriage, sex and babies. Wooop-de-doooo. At worst. Well, that spoof trailer's pretty accurate sadly.
    The only positive going for the whole production at the moment like you say is the Robsten Chemistry.


  20. i call shenanigans on those pics. Are they supposed to be on the same day? in the close-ups, she's wearing a big baggy T, and in the snogging pic it's like a baby doll shirt or tank top. and what's that thing on her upper arm? a tattoo? some arm band? i don't care if they're together or not, but if the media is making shit up, that's not acceptable. those leeches will do anything to get a scoop, even make it up.

  21. I'm glad you brought this up. I am a sick, sick-o loser and cannot look away from this none-of-my-bizness. The house photos made me REALLY feel dirty all over, but I kept on a lookin. Now I see that they had to duck into a cop shop to prevent a paparazzi death crash.
    So....does my clicking on these links get these skeevy photog bung holes paid? Or am I inculpable so long as I don't buy any celeb gossip mags? I'm perversely fascinated by these hawt & edgy people, but I really don't want any blood on my hands. I do want them to have their privacy. I just want to not get caught lookin, if you catch my drift.

  22. I have always been an "I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck-sten"

    And I utterly agree if they're together, more power to 'em. If not, whatever. As long as they don't fuck with my movies LOL.

    I don't need to see the grainy kiss pics bc if I wanted to torture myself with the reminder that they are both really fucking lucky to be so in love and rich and pretty and well I don't need to subject my self esteem to anymore so anyway I could just watch Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse and feel only slightly less like a perv.

    Someone mentioned once... why is it that there is no music in the bedroom kissing scene in Twilight... if that doesn't make you feel slightly uncomfortable I don't think anything will make you feel like a perv :)

  23. So count me in on the "Who the fuck cares?????" side. What complete pervs these paps are for stalking the Beautifuls, trying to catch them doing anything "newsworthy." If they can't get them doing something illegal, they snap them sucking face. And, btw, what shitty-ass pictures they were. That dick-munch needs to be fired. I'm happier than a fat kid locked in a ho-ho factory that you didn't post the pictures here. I much more enjoyed your alternate selections as I lmao reading your blog!Although, the one about french kissing brought back some really bad college memories. I think I need to bleach my brain now. Line up the tequila shots!

  24. First of all thanks to JJ for making me laugh while drinking diet coke with lime, I don't think my sinuses will ever be the same. You really need a "don't drink beverages while reading" warning on these posts, the bigfoot thing nearly killed me.

    Franki, you hit the nail on the head. I would love to believe that whatever is going on that Rob is happy, he deserves AT LEAST that much. But I also feel something has changed their on-screen and off-screen (during interviews and appearences) chemistry a bit or maybe even a little more than a bit. She seems somewhat standoffish towards him and I feel all squirmy inside when I notice it which seems to be more frequently as of late. It's almost like she is trying to overcompensate to deny whatever relationship they may or may not have. I give her a lot of credit though, if I were doing oh so many rude things to the hottest man on the planet I would have a hard time not smiling like an utter moron 24/7/365. I hope that she will loosen up once she accepts that they have been caught - if that is in fact what happened and it does seem like that is the case. All the while, Rob seems to just roll with the punches.

    Robsten, nonsten, whatever, I just wish Rob (and Kristen) some love, happiness and maybe even a much deserved break.

  25. hahahahaah, fucking Big Foot, too funny!

    I feel ML's pain. PDA...*Shudders*

  26. All I can say is thank goodness he is getting some....because that would sure be a waste of a mighty fine man in his sexual prime. I just want them to be at ease. PDA kids....if we see it all the time then it wont' be news...well, it probably still will but it sounded nevermind.

    And yes I am just sick enough to be a wee bit envious and a tad jealous. Whatever. Lucky, young, ritch, skinny @#!$%!!!! :P

  27. I personally am whatever-sten, but those pics are HOT. Dayum....

  28. :) LMAO! OMG...I posted the pics but made them black and white and hid them amongst a bunch of other Robsten pics. Let's hope nobody tries to anal probe me in my sleep.

    And yes, Kristen is a beautiful lucky bitch.

    xo J

  29. He's a beard. Remember you heard it here first.


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