It was NO fun at ALL, let me tell you. By 11:00 this morning, I was in full-blown withdrawal, calling all of my clients "Edward" and asking them if they sparkled in the sunlight. Something had to be done. So I figured since I hadn't really thought to include Twitter in my self-imposed exile from the blogosphere, it would be ok if I checked in... You know, just for a second... And let me tell you, if work was one-tenth as fun as Twitter, I'd be an A+ worker-bee. Anyway, one tweet in particular stood out... It was from Myg (and apparently KSpice75 was simultaneously sending it to JJ, which probably speaks volumes about us and possibly not in a sane way) and it went a little something like this (ok it went exactly like this - you are all smart people and you know "cut & paste" when you see it) -
@SnarkierThanYou @Latchkeywife @JennyJerkface, I think there's a post in here for you. http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/tlg/1893560318.html
And as usual, Myg was TOTALLY right. Behold this "talent gigs" post that went up on Craigslist yesterday - I love this chick and I think she needs to join us in Forks...
Be the Edward to my Bella (Dallas)
My aunt just died and left me some cash with instructions to blow it however I want. Not into drugs. Fucking LOVE Twilight. Also, a lesbian. It's relevant, I swear.
I'm sure this ad will get me some creepers, but it might be worth it.
I will pay you $50 an hour to act like Edward for me. My schedule is flexible, and it would only be a few hours a week. I do NOT want any sex or kissing, but some platonic cuddling would be nice. You need to physically resemble Edward to some degree. You need to put on some sort of sparkly stuff on your face before hand. I'll ask you to hold ice for a while (not a dangerous while) so that when you touch me your hands are cold.
I'm going to be clumsy, and you're going to stare at me and tell me how awesome I am and treat me amazingly. If you can quote the book/act out small scenes with me I'll even pay you more.
I know this is stupid, but this book is the first time I've understood being attracted to any guy, and I want to play with it. Reminder: this is NOT SEXUAL. It's an emotional itch that I can now afford to scratch.
Please send me a picture to confirm that you somewhat resemble Edward (hair length/color, skin color, build of body are most important). If you wear glasses you'll need to be able to function without them. I'm willing to buy you the right outfits so don't worry about clothes.
Serious replies only.
The funniest thing??? This doesn't sound all that preposterous to me (I admit that this signals I'm a little crazy). I forwarded it to a friend at work who declared it a sign of the apocalypse [JJ's note - a sparkly vampire apocalypse?!? Awesome!!], but frankly, I get it. There, I admitted it. I would never have the balls to do this (plus I am a married heterosexual woman and not a Twi-curious lesbian AND I don't have any wealthy and recently departed aunts, but let's not quibble here) but good for her! Scratch that itch, girl!
Let us know how it works out, Twi-Curious! And if it does work out, please send pictures of this guy. PLEASE. I'm begging you.