Monday, August 2, 2010

Twitarded Sounds Off on Water for Elephants. In Our Usual Timely Manner, Natch.

You know you're officially lame when your mother calls you at work to tell you that Robert Pattinson is in a new movie.

You become the Queen of Total Absolute Lame-O's when you're all "yeah, Ma, I know he's in a new movie, I practically know what his bowel movement schedule is because I have a terrible addiction to the internet and--what the hell do you mean 'something is wrong with me'??"

After I convinced Mommy(not a)Jerkface that I wasn't having some kind of weird early mid-life crisis or joined a cult (the jury is still out on that one, actually), I realized something about this new movie starring Robert Pattinson.

Yup, that one.

I've never talked about it here on Twitarded. I mean, we discussed Brazilians and facials but I don't think I've ever written a post about Water for Elephants.

Jenny Jerkface is a blogger and she has never written a post about WFE?? Really? How pathetic.

Truthfully, I'd never even heard of the book until word starting spreading through Twi-dom that Robert Pattinson was going to be starring in the movie version. The irony of this is that Twi-dom is probably the reason that I had not heard of this book but now I know so it's all good.

Fuuuuuuck, they found me!! Don't worry, cute puppy, I'll save you from Twitarded! RUUUUUUUUN!!!

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what's going on with this flick but judging from the pictures I've been looking at all day, it's about animals and a circus and possibly Robert Pattinson having poop problems.


See? Need more proof?

What?! The fucking horses and elephants shit here!! WHY CAN'T I???

Okay, okay, I know it isn't about pooping, sheesh. It actually sounds like a really amazing storyline and I'm looking forward to seeing it and kind of wish they were filming nearby so I could totally creep the poor guy on the set.

I wonder if I can impale JJ with this pole if she gets to close, that creepy little bitch...

In all serious, I'm really pleased that RPattz has been cast in both Water for Elephants and Bel Ami. As much as we joke, tease, mock, drool over his sharp jawline and stare at his crotch, I really think that Robert Pattinson has some incredible potential to be a fantastic, versatile actor. He really does seem like a very intelligent, driven and talented guy and I would be very disappointed if he was forever typecast as a sparkly vampire.

And the fact that he's pretty easy on the eyes definitely helps.

Movie? What movie?!


  1. siiiigh.
    good god hes delicious...

    wtf more is there to say?!

  2. Great book. I cannot wait to see him in this. Yum!

  3. Last. Picture. Kills. Me. ....Dead.



    I'd watch golf if he were playing, and that is fucking saying something.

  4. I was stoked when I heard The Prehtay was doing this film. I can totes see him as Jacob (which makes my Twi-heart vomit a little bit as a natural reaction...), and I can't wait for the critics to say good shit about this fuckhawt man. He's got great potential. And not just to make my panties disintegrate.

  5. Am halfway through the book and the whole time I've been picturing the precious.

    It's a great story and I feel like I've practically seen the movie since I've been such a pic-whore with all the shots of Rob...

  6. JJ...again, you have me laughing out loud on this one...but, in all seriousness, I read WFE about 3 years ago and loved loved LOVED it - it's a completely awsome story....I got super happy when I learned that it was being made into a movie earlier this year and when I heard that The Precious was going to be one of the leads....well, lollipops and rainbows appeared,fireworks exploded, nipples hardened and ovaries was a stellar day....I can't wait until April 2011!!

  7. Mmmm poop gags. That man can poop in my field anytime. O_o that sounds kinda weird doesn't it... Oh well

  8. I am sooo excited for this movie. The book is great, the script is great and it's got a great cast. When April 2011 hits I think that will be the end, I might die in the theater from fluid loss. I'll make sure I have my empty popcorn bucket to catch my drool and my Shamwow in my seat. On a serious note, I agree with the assessment that he is growing as an actor and has enormous potential and I'm excited to see him out of the Saga and away from that cast and doing things on his own merit.

  9. JJ- This is just more proof that you can make ANYTHING about poop. You, my friend, get a simultaneous tip o' the hat AND wag of the finger from me *shakes head in mock disapproval*

    Btw, Rpatz w/ a dog... um adorb!

    And the last pic.... *Le Fucking Sigh*

  10. There is a little person starring in this move too. As if Robert Pattinson weren't enough to draw me in. I can't wait!

  11. Bad blogger, LOL. :)

    I bought WFE the day we saw the first pictures of RPattz filming. He looked so mother-effing hot there was no way I wasn't reading that book! The cashier was surprised at how it was suddenly flying off the shelves, but I knew the true reason!!

    WFE was my first post-Twilight read (very proud of myself). I really enjoyed it. And picturing Rob as Jacob Jankowski... a new level of fuckhawtness might be achieved here ladies! I'd say it isn't even possible, but the boy keeps proving me wrong! Mmmmm, the great Robowski.

  12. JJ, I feel like it would be FASCINATING to have Myg analyze your poop fixation sometime. Fascinating.


  13. I bought WFE when the rumors started that Rob might be taking on the role of Jacob. So I was kinda picturing him when I read it. Now that I'm reading it for the 2nd time and it's a done deal and there are pics, I SOOOOO seeing Rob as JJ. (Hey you have the same initials! LOL) He is perfect for the role! I can't wait to hear Rob speaking in Polish, and walking around with a chimpanzee on his hip....that's gonna be soooo cute!
    If you haven't read WFE, what the hell are you waiting for???? LOL Get going!!!!

  14. *wipes tears from eyes* Oh, Mox. I fucking love you!

    JJ, I have practically lived on the WFE film blog. I cannot get enough of the information about the movie from cast, crew, sets, fan stories, etc. It's been the best (train) ride ever. This movie is going to be special.

    I had never heard of the book before Rob signed up to the film, either. But since then, I've shared the book with my parents, my in-laws, my daughter, my son's girlfriend, etc. They all loved it and look forward to seeing the movie. I cannot wait!


  15. This movie is wrapping up today near my house and I'm so sad! I had the great pleasure to be close to the set Friday and Monday and have tons of pictures, just one so so pict of Rob. They were VERY protective of the Pretty! I did see other actors and even received their autograph! I was also on my local news talking about Rob!
    I loved the book and think it is a perfect role for Rob, besides Edward, of course.

  16. @Luxie - I have no idea why I like to talk about poop so much. Perhaps being obsessed with Twilight isn't my major malfunction after all!

    @mmMoxie - I can't begin to tell you the inner turmoil I had about the little person. I admit it - I kinda wanted to go to there. I'm a terrible person.

    @RoseT - That's so cool that they were filming near you. I'm pretty sure they have some kind of alien forcefield around the precious these days.

    I am seriously going to go get this book today and start reading!

  17. still looking for my vampAugust 3, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    JJ - pick up the book. Fantastic read!

    I think it is a perfect role for our boy.

    Sweet baby Jesus, that last picture just kills me every time I see it...

  18. You should definitely read the book. There's at least a few different passages I truly enjoyed picturing Rob that went beyond a fade to black. Although, still funny what a slutty smut whore fanfic has made me b/c I still found them to be pretty tame.

  19. WFE is an EXCELLENT EXCELLENT book and you all should read it NOW!!!!

  20. Oh, what I'd give to see him cast as "Julian" in a remake of ~*AMERICAN GIGOLO*~ what's that you say? Pimp my whaaa?

  21. I read the book some time back as well and I LOVED IT! When I found out the Presh was going to be in it...I nearly pooped.

  22. Both Bel Ami and WFE were amazing books. I actually read Bel Ami a while ago and had to re-read it once I heard about the movie.

    Sadly, there is some fad to black (or sad) in the book so I am hoping the movie fills in the that is going to be some good stuff!

    If Bel Ami fails to fill in the blanks then one of you h00rs is going to have to get to writing some fan fic.

    WV: angly - like Rob's perfect face and jaw line. ;-)

  23. WFE is going to establish RPatz as an A-list actor apart from Edward. This movie is going to fucking amazing. I read the script online and we're going to see RPatz like we've yet to see him. Reese Witherspoon is the leading lady and Oscar winner Christoph Walz is the other leading man. They considered releasing it in December so it could be considered for an academy fucking awards for 2010, but they decided to wait until April 15 so they wouldn't have to rush the editing and get the movie right. Even so, they still believe that this movie and the performances are good enough that it will be remembered when they nominate candidates for oscars. Mark your calendars.

  24. Oh! I just realized that if the movie follows the book we may get a glimpse at Rob's nekkid peen!


    Well, if not full frontal (or profile perhaps?) maybe at least a decent view of his ass? I assume this movie hasn't been rated yet. Let's hope for an 'R' rating shall we? *fingers crossed*

  25. @JJ - little people are The Shit. Unfortunately Peter Dinklage is not playing the dwarf clown in WFE. I have a (not so secret) crush on him. Dinklage and Pattinson on the big screen together would have kicked some serious ass!

  26. i am a vet, and Rob is playing a vet. this makes me happy. i wish he had consulted me while filming. i've even treated an elephant!

  27. BRANDI1217 - (damn thing won't let me sign in!)......
    This was a great book and when I heard Rob was playing the lead man - giddyup!!

    I agree that our precious has in it him to be a great actor and the fact that he's going to be in movies that will give him more coverage and not just leave him labeled as "that twilight guy" leaves me with big grins!

    PS - the "pooping" in the meadow pic cracked me up! I almost sent that the other day to JJ due to her obsession with dropping a deuce in his trailer! :)

  28. I gotta say I love Rob in old fashioned clothes. I think it seems like a real interesting story anyway. I'm tempted to read the book. Ofcourse I'll have to pry myself away from all that delicious fanfiction. @JJ Are you planning on reading it or just gonna hope for the best and watch the movie?

  29. Mmmm poop gags. That man can poop in my field anytime. O_o that sounds kinda weird doesn't it... Oh well


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