Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hey everybody! Meet Gus!

Who the hell is Gus? You may be asking yourself.


That's Gus. The guy behind that cute JJ kid, who's behind a very tired, very fat-headed Myg.
But Myg, why do I want to know who he is? you might now be asking yourself. Other than the fact that he's bold enough to keep company with the likes of me, Jenny Jerkface and Snarkier Than You, he also happens to be one hell of a kickass photographer and videographer. And he's coming to fucking Forks, ya'all, so if that doesn't vouch for his insanity character, well I guess I don't know what does.

So, those of you not making the pilgrimage, despair not. There will be a full on documentary, of sorts, of this adventure. And those of you going who are like what the mother of fucking fuck are you thinking, capturing this on film? We understand. Honestly. We've got a system, see, and we promise, and Gus promises that only those of us stupid brave enough to be caught on film will go on film.

(Being serious for just a minute--we know that some of you simply cannot have your face and/or name publicly associated with the brand of fuckery that's likely to go down on the Olympic Peninsula in 9 days. We absolutely respect your need for anonymity and promise to protect it. The rest of you? Consider your public reputation hereby trashed. Start grieving your good name now so by the time we get there, you're over it.)

In Forks, you'll mostly encounter Gus like this:

Yep. He'll be the one crouched down unobtrusively with the really, really BIG camera.

Gus is seriously like family to me, folks. He is an old housemate of mine, he's the guy who takes care of my cats when we go out of town, he did the photos of my wedding (and STY's wedding too!). Gus is easy. And when I say easy, I mean he's a super duper relaxed chill kind of guy who is up for anything, can make conversation with your grandmother or your toddler, is the kind of friend who will help you move a couch for a slice of pizza, kwim? He has great manners, a good sense of humor and wait... is this match.com? Sorry. But this shit is all really true. And from 9/29 until 10/3, he's all ours. MUAAAHAHAHAHAHA....

Lord have mercy (Brown?) on him.

P.S. from LKW: Twitarded was recently approached by an anonymous, very closeted (but uber-awesome!) Twitard who couldn't be in Forks but wanted to make sure we did something special to commemorate the occasion. What better way to honor the trip than by having a professional document it?! We were very lucky to receive a donation from this amazing contributor to make this happen! And poof... GUS! Thank you, anon patron of the Twitarded Arts!

72 comments:

  1. YAAAAAAY GUS!!! you all are going to LOVE gus. he is awesome people.

    p.s. yup i took that top pic... when i am drinky at parties, the camera-phone gets busy!

    : )

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  2. And you didn't have the fat head filter on, either. Sigh.

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  3. Well that settles it. I have to bring my make-up team with me now.

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  4. Twitarded has the greatest, bestest, most awesomest peeps ever. Thanks to "anon" for making this happen!!!

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  5. Yay for Gus :) can I call him "GusGus"?

    - Lorabell

    P.s. Is OPattz joining too?!

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  6. @Mrs. P - you bring the makeup people, I'll get my hair people. And by get my hair people, I mean, I'll bring my flat iron and we'll pick up shitloads of product at target in Seattle. And by that I mean I'm really just going to wear a baseball hat to contain the frizz.

    Hi Gus!! *waves*

    Dear Anon, You rock. love, CC

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  7. Is he single?

    I am, of course, asking for a "friend".

    ;D

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  8. Ok, I'm scared now. Yay for Gus... I want to call him "GusGus" too!!!

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  9. @Mrs. P: I was thinkin the same thing. Don't forget the hair team too. You know what? We should just bring the whole queer eye team. I think that will be the only way to be prepared.

    But reading this post made me think of an issue much more pressing. Myg, if you go out of town, and Gus goes out of town, WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE CATS??!!!!!

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  10. This is AWESOME! What a fun way to remember this trip forever, as well as share it with those that can't go.

    Guss, JJ, STY, LKW, & anonymous THANK YOU! This is going to be epic.

    xo J

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  11. @Living With Edward - well, Mr. Myg will have to find time to feed them in between running after the toddlers. He'll probably forget, and the cats will become even MORE resentful. They still haven't forgiven us for the dog.

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  12. I can honestly say that Gus is the nicest, coolest, chillest dude EVER. He always has a big grin and he's super polite.

    And I need a makeup/hair team too. Just for the record.

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  13. Bring it on Gus, I'll be ready for you. Just make sure you get the highest bidder for the footage ; 0

    X

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  14. Poor guy. Whatever you paid him is not nearly enough. Are you making him read all 4 books and watch 3 movies in 8 days??

    He can read the Best of Twitarded on the plane.

    Gus looks trustworthy. Let him hold the bail money.

    PS He can wear my Twitarded button.

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  15. I agree with Adonicass! He holds the bail money.

    I guess with you girls, the least thing I have to worry about is my hair and makeup! :-P

    Documented shenanigans!

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  16. I cannot wait to see this footage! I can't make it on this epic trip, but I am counting down the days to see this and live through the evidence! Thanks anon!!!!


    Have fun ladies!!!

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  17. Let's get Summit to send their people to do our hair and makeup.

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  18. There's a DUDE going and he has AGREED to this?! WTF am I thinking missing this trip?! Damnit to hell this economy and my crappy paying job!!!!!!!!

    However, I am extremely happy and thankful someone made that donation. woot! btw, am I too late to get my t-shirt? I'm a douche and didn't order yet.

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  19. Anon is AWESOME and really is making a HUGE difference here - and I know the end result of her good deed will be spectacular!!

    I have spent the last six months researching humid-hair elixirs and I am READY. I may have to send a trunk ahead of time to cart all the shit I want to bring to Forks, but I will be like a one-woman hair salon out there. Oh and I am bringing hats. Multiple. Hats. Because my hair will frizz no matter what. Oh and I am not photogenic and need make-up help PLEASE. anyone want to donate for a makeup artist and a stylist?? They can stay in my room...

    : )

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  20. Twitardia recorded for all eternity that is all.

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  21. Oh Hell, I'm bringing my confidence wigs now!

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  22. i'm so glad it's getting documented!! i live in seattle and wanted to come but it's also oktoberfest weekend in leavenworth (washington's bavarian village) so alas i'll just have to live vicariously through gus' pics.

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  23. I'm excited, too! I can't wait to see this hot mess on film, and live vicariously through you awesome wackadoodles.

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  24. Awesome! If, & I say this cause I won't be bringing my hair/make-up team, Gus gets some pictures we want to have, can we purchase from him later? Just wondering.

    Also, if the video get on a PBS special or the Sundance Film Festival, I want tickets! LOL!

    Hi Gus!

    @Dangrdafne, you are so right!

    And thanks anonymous!

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  25. Aw, this just makes me want to go stand on the nearest corner and raise the cash so I can go to Forks with everyone. *crickets* Yeah, I still can't go, dammit. This will be great and I hope it's so epic it becomes annual - I'll start turning- I mean saving now!

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  26. I'm going to keep my theories on the anonymous donor to myshizzle and just be grateful that this is happening. As if this most epic of all epic vacations wasn't EPIC enough!

    HI, GUSGUS! (If you don't like this nickname, you'd better get it in writing ASAFP. It looks like we wanna roll with it) Thanks for joining us, and I for one am ALL.FOR.THE.CAMERA. Don't worry about my dorky ass being in every other shot. And JFTR, my rep was trashed when I slipped out of my mom's vajay. *Big ups to Mommypants!*


    vw: patin

    We're gonna need a patin on the kind of debauchery that will be forever contained in the FOORRKKSS!! party vid. Cain't NOBODY recreate this shit!

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  27. Aiyaiyai! That is just the warmest welcome ever.
    I won't let you down! I swear, especially as now I feel honored to say "fuckawesome" among those who really know what it means!
    But i'm in awe of my dear and sweetsweet friends JJ,STY, and MYG for bringing this crazy magic out of each of you, who in turn are bringing this crazyfuckawesome magic out of this whole planet. I'm proud to be part of this and have not been this inspired in a long friggin time. I cannot wait for magic to happen in front of my cameras - it's just what blows me away.
    So, okay. Saw Twilight and liked it. My first q to JJ was if we can have a baseball game. Was impressed they also managed to make the teen angst just freak me out! And yeah, I see what you see in him now and I'll just have to be big enough to admit my skin may never sparkle like his. Ahh well. but Bella is a sweetie!
    Watching New Moon tonight, though I should be changing out this optical drive.
    Love, errr, uhmm, lusssst the fan fic. Wooooohoo! (What AM i getting into?)
    Oh, and yes.. I knew I'd be getting some kind of new name out of this. Looks like the consensus is forming.
    And no, someone else keep the bail dough. I'd rather be in the clink w you all than be locked up even w a devoted lil Bella, and some handcuffs. ahem.
    Thank you all for your openness and trust.
    all for now.. xoxo
    gusgus

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  28. are you even kidding with him? he is the sweetest ever and what an amazing idea! we totally need to keep gus on the payroll!!!!
    Have so much fun you guys, can't wait to see the photos/video/police evidence etc!!!!

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  29. If I was making up the imaginary "most perfect person to come document Forks" I would not have been able to do it this well. This is for real, people. Don't be afraid...

    : )

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  30. OK, as if I'm not already pissed that I'm missing the FFFFOOOOOOOORRRKKKSS trip... now you have the most awesome photographer~ GUSGUS sounds like he's going to fit in just fine with you twatwaffles. I want to party with GUS!

    Please get it ALL on film for those of us partying at home with you gals! This will be a trip that Forks will never forget!! (Or Gus for that matter) THANK YOU Anon!

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  31. Hi GusGus! Twitarded in FFFOOOORRRKKKSS!!! Recorded for posteriety is really a public service. Thanks Anon!
    So is there a plan for this footage? Maybe the final product can be submitted to Sundance. :P
    Oh, and @kintail has a good idea. Summit should totally do our hair and makeup.

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  32. "Love, errr, uhmm, lusssst the fan fic. Wooooohoo! (What AM i getting into?)"

    You will soon find out Gus. you will soon find out. That is all.

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  33. Holy shit. I am most definitely not drinking half as much as I was planning on now that it's gonna be on film! How freakin cool! I freakin love all you Twitards! Fuckin Forks is sooooo close, guys!!!

    Hair appointment this week!!! :)

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  34. Have Gus make a "mug shot" book of all the Twitards! LOL

    "that's her Chief Swan,the one with that funny T-shirt that says FFOOORRKS!" LMAO!!

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  35. oh good! i'm so glad i can kind of live vicariously through you guys!

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  36. Hiya Gus...I saw on Twitter that your real name is Augusto...I may need to call you that cuz it's just, well, such a great name. Anyhoo, all I can say is if JJ, STY, and Myg love you...well then you are loved by me.

    Now Gus do you want me to bring the curtain and backlighting and voice distorter for when you interview me? Also, I am counting on you to come up with a really sexy black bar to cover my eyes/identity and that makes me look thinner. You can do all that right?

    P.S. My cleavage is fair game...I don't care about that. You may, however, find some other Twitards nuzzled there getting some love. :P

    P.S.S. I am so impressed that you are doing all your homework Gus...and I mean all..fanfic too? Wowza. That better include Osa Bella.

    P.S.S.S. Can't wait to meet you Gus.

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  37. I can't make it to FFFOOOORRRKKS:( but I'm frickin happy now that I'll be living vicariously through all the incriminating footage and photos that Gus can rustle up! Woohooooooooo!!! Feeling much better now :)

    Thanks Anon & GusGus, you're both fkn AWESOME!!!!

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  38. Hiya VitR.
    Been doing as much homework as I can while prepping equipment and preparing for a little bday party this coming weekend. I don't think I've gotten to all the fanfic, but loved the one about the new employee in the elevator, uhghghghgh! And gotta confess I haven't read MYG's hot scenes yet, but already love it cos it reads effortlessly and how it takes you from car chase to shrink session just like that. I need to print the downloads to read it all.
    I think I have a sweet taste of it all already, but I'll keep ingesting and see if I change shapes ;-).
    And Rottymamma, mugshot book sounds great. I figured I'd be doing some nice portraits of whoever wanted and with time permitting. But I figure priority will be with real time events and interviews, ey? So a mugshot compilation would be a nice solution to fitting in the more complicated portraits. We'll see. Either way I am at your service so if you want it and we have a lil time, then hell yes.
    And to all, I'll have both still and vid cameras but I must explain that I have been more in love with video than stills lately. Again, we shall see.

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  39. How awesome. This trip is going to be epic, and I am so glad that I'll at least have a chance to see it.
    I am so excited for you.

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  40. Dear Gus,

    We haven't officially met yet. I'm Latchkey Wife... part of the debauchery that is Twitarded. I'm really looking forward to meeting you. You should know a few things... First off, the camera hates my fucking guts. Any camera. So if your camera likes me, then we'll be just fine.

    Also, I'm really hoping you have a magic lens that makes my double chin disappear and my thighs look thin. If you do, we iz gonna be best buds!

    Oh and I kinda have a problem with making funny faces anytime I see a camera pointed my way... hmmm... maybe this is why cameras hate me. Huh.

    I'm glad you're making this epic journey with us and if JJ, STY and Myg say you're ok, then you must be!

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  41. *claps hands* yay! Unfortunately I will not be joining all you hoors on this epic pilgrimage to Twiland *sob* I AM beyond excited that the trip will be well documented though! Thank you anon-twitard and GusGus!! xoxo

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  42. Don't worry - Gus will definitely be bringing all his special skinny lenses. The pics he took at my wedding were the only ones where I have ever had a discernible jawline - true fact. Now I just need to track down the chick who did my makeup that day...

    : )

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  43. WOW. I'm both scared and freaking excited! Gus, you are one brave dude to come on this trip, and man am I excited that you'll be there! Can't wait to meet you!

    And dear Anonymous Donor: THANK YOU!!!!!!! (I think) :)

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  44. GusGus you are already a twitard-and we already LOVE you- thanks so much MUHA. Girls you rock for making this an epic adventure for all of us..MUHA x2. As far as pic/video, I may or may not be wearing a wig and glasses- hell I'm a mom of 4, Nannie of 2- I may not want naked photos of me out there(js). You don't need to see that. ok..maybe an occasianol bewbage shot.. from what I've gathered of the group, there will be bewbsaplenty all around. . and the stripper pole is def out too.I am so excited to meet all ya'll and rip it up with ya's. GUSGUS... again thanks so much for joining us. We promise to go easy on you(or not) has he read MotU?? hmmm collar or not? I'm kiddding..or am I??

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  45. Man, it's getting harder and harder to realize that I am really going to be missing out on some crazy fun in Fooorks! Boo hoo! And to think that I could be trashing my reputation all the while makes me even more rueful! I love trashing my reputation-- you can search for me on You Tube under such illustrious captions as "woman in ball gown falling down" or "drunk lady hiccuping in sleep". It would be fun to have a caption like, "Crazy Twitard jumping over a bonfire" or something something.
    SIGH... Great news about Gus though!

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  46. Oh Sweet JEEEEESUZ....GUS IS A UNICORN!!!

    I cannot believe you girls actually found this rare, mythical creature to share & document our experience!

    Gus...you have free reign to take any pictures of me that you want to...just promise me that when I go all "Twitards Gone Wild" on you that you'll photoshop my tits to look like they did before three babies sucked them into saggy oblivion.

    My entire body is literally humming in anticipation of meeting you all.

    7 DAYS TO FFFFOOORRRRKKKSSS!!!

    MC

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  47. That is so great that you guys are going to be able to document this trip! Like others that can't make it to FFOORRKKSS I hope this becomes some sort of tradition, even if it's every other year, so maybe more can go next time!

    Rottymama - I think you're idea of a "mugshot" book is terrific! It'll be great practice for the real ones you know are coming!

    GusGus - what are the chances you'll be posting pics somewhere during the trip so we can all keep up with you guys???

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  48. Ohhhhhhh my god.

    Gus, I apologize in advance for what you are about to experience. As well all know, what has been seen cannot be unseen, and I have a feeling that it's going to include a fair amount of drunk Twitarded ass.

    Seriously. I don't even know what to say. I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified about this development.

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEE

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  49. Oh dears. Bodies humming and collars - I am the luckiest mortal male on the planet. What wisdom awaits. LKW, and everybody, I been shooting for, oh, almost 20 years. And of course I know every woman always wants to put their best looks forward, but I also know our society has damaged us all too too much about our appearances. I will do my darndest. I will do what has carried me through all these years. I will look for the beauty in everyone I meet. I will catch you being happy. I'm a newspaper photographer for my daily biscuit and would rather you not mug or smile at the camera (tho I sure can catch a tongue stickin out at me ;-). Not that we won't be doing plenty of muggin too. OBVIOUSLY there will be plenty of beauty to go around, in your faces, in your experiences, in your bonding, and in yo smut! To be successful and present a coherent account, WE only need to capture a remarkably small amount of it all. I do hope to catch so much more than a little, tho!
    xoxoxoxoxo everyhotbody out there!

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  50. GUS.....STOP.

    Stop it Right the fuck NOW.

    You're making me love you with this "seeing beauty in us all" shit.

    ***THUD***

    MC

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  51. K! Okay!
    Guess you'll just have to work extra hhhhhhhhharrd to gross me out ;-P

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  52. Wow. Just WOW. This is such a absofreakinfabulous idea!!!!!! Thank you Gus, Anon, and my Twitarded heroines for making this happen :) I can't wait to see the outtakes reel (evil grin). Only one more week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  53. I just have to say I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate having my pic taking and video is even worse. But because its Gusgus and he seems to be the kind of guy that unicorn legends are made of...I won't hide too often, but only if Gusgus promises to bring the skinny lens! :)

    GUSGUS - I'm with Mama Cougar, you gotta stop with all the "beauty" talk. You're makin me squeee just a little. And I don't think my husband will like that too much ;)

    Anon rocks for making this possible!

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  54. Where did you FIND this guy???? He IS a mythical creature! One dude and a helluva lot of Twitards... uh oh.

    Hell. I want to see a video of GUS meeting these hOORs!!

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  55. YAY!!! Another man like Mr.SV will be there! They can hang. My hubs is definitely EVERY description you gave of Gus, except that he isn't a photographer/videographer.

    DAMN - I knew I should've started Weight Watchers!!! Is it possible to lose 50lbs in a week?

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  56. @pigeon lurve - Keep an eye out for all my co-workers in Leavenworth! They'll be the ones barfing after running the half marathon, followed by barfing that night after too much beer. They are giving me so much flack for going to Forks instead!

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  57. Yeah for Gus!! I am so excited there will be someone there to capture all of this. I had considered doing this myself, but honestly, I can't drag equipment with me on the plane. I'm a nervous wreck as it is.

    Gus! Thanks again for taking on such a daunting task. It is awesome that you have volunteered to do this.

    I can't wait to meet everyone in Forks.

    Suzie

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  58. Oh hell! I guess I better head on over to Halloween Adventure and get myself a confidence wig and a Zorro mask! [The Zorro mask w/o the wig will just mess up my SEX HAIR and that won't do at all.]

    This is going to be sofa king EPIC! God help us all!

    Thanks Anon-Twitard for your generosity!

    WV: outsm

    I fear we are gonna outsm deep undercover Twitards next weekend!

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  59. Oh this is perfect! I am already excited to hear how the Tw-exodus to Forks goes but now there will be a visual story as well? CAN'T. WAIT.

    Have fun everybody! Remember you're all beautiful so let your hair down, let your mascara run and your lipstick smear 'cause you're all a part of something really fucking amazing. And GusGus sounds like he's gonna do what's right by all of you. SO LET YOUR FREAK FLAGS FLY, PEOPLE!

    P.S. Someone do a shot - or 5 - for me while in Forks, ok?

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  60. @STY - There'd better be a post ASAP with the results of your research on humid-hair elixirs!!

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  61. Whoa! I can't wait to see all the fuckery that is known as Twitarded goes to FOOORKS! For the people like me who can't go, it will make me feel like I was there with you guys. Oh, and who doesn't just love a man with a LONG camera lense!! Thanks to the anonymous donor and to Gus for agreeing to this mission.

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  62. P.S.
    STY - Love the pic you took of JJ, Myg and GUS! You look lovely ladies! Gus looks adorkable! Something tells me Gus is going to become very famous around here!

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  63. So, after I read your post (p.s. Thanks for the heads up BTW) I recalled a convo I had with my forks roomie who mentioned something about cute clothes to which I replied (sort of partly in my head) "Fuck it. I'm bringing as much fleece as I can shake a stick at and some hiking boots". Flashforward to the present blog post: Must go shopping lest I be caught on any sort of recorded device as the only one in dumpy camping clothes. Crisis averted. Yay Gus!

    Forks doesn't even know what they are in for....or the motel has tipped law enforcement off after googling Twitarded.

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  64. anon, anon.

    alas. sadly.

    sempre.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmQMrpsQwfk

    vw: inonit

    no one's ever fucking allowed inonit.

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  65. Don't worry - Gus will definitely be bringing all his special skinny lenses. The pics he took at my wedding were the only ones where I have ever had a discernible jawline - true fact. Now I just need to track down the chick who did my makeup that day...

    : )

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  66. *claps hands* yay! Unfortunately I will not be joining all you hoors on this epic pilgrimage to Twiland *sob* I AM beyond excited that the trip will be well documented though! Thank you anon-twitard and GusGus!! xoxo

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  67. I can't make it to FFFOOOORRRKKS:( but I'm frickin happy now that I'll be living vicariously through all the incriminating footage and photos that Gus can rustle up! Woohooooooooo!!! Feeling much better now :)

    Thanks Anon & GusGus, you're both fkn AWESOME!!!!

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  68. Hiya Gus...I saw on Twitter that your real name is Augusto...I may need to call you that cuz it's just, well, such a great name. Anyhoo, all I can say is if JJ, STY, and Myg love you...well then you are loved by me.

    Now Gus do you want me to bring the curtain and backlighting and voice distorter for when you interview me? Also, I am counting on you to come up with a really sexy black bar to cover my eyes/identity and that makes me look thinner. You can do all that right?

    P.S. My cleavage is fair game...I don't care about that. You may, however, find some other Twitards nuzzled there getting some love. :P

    P.S.S. I am so impressed that you are doing all your homework Gus...and I mean all..fanfic too? Wowza. That better include Osa Bella.

    P.S.S.S. Can't wait to meet you Gus.

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  69. i'm so glad it's getting documented!! i live in seattle and wanted to come but it's also oktoberfest weekend in leavenworth (washington's bavarian village) so alas i'll just have to live vicariously through gus' pics.

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