Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Little Sad, A Little Laugh but One Big "I'll Miss You, Chicken."

Here's the deal with tonight's post, folks. It's going to be a little sad, and then hopefully a lot of funny. But most of all, it's very personal for me. If you want to bypass the sad and go straight for the giggles, just skip the first few paragraphs.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may remember that I mentioned having to take my furry, stinky little companion of 8 1/2 years, Gizmo (aka "Chicken" - long story...), to the vet. Unfortunately, Gizmo's heart gave out and ML and I made the agonizing choice to put him to sleep.

It's amazing how much of a presence such a tiny little creature can have in a home, and both ML and I agree our house seems so much quieter and emptier now that Chicken is no longer here to divest our bags of all our belongings (where it would take us days or weeks later to find them hidden away in a closet or under the couch). We'll miss his giggling and the way he'd pounce on whatever it was you were doing because "pay attention to me gahd-dammit." And we will most definitely miss his adorable little ferret face and his ferret-y little kisses.



But, really, we'll just him most of all.

Gizmo was an awesome ferret from the get-go and it was essentially the reason why I got him from the pet store all those years ago - he just didn't seem to fit in with all the other ferrets. He was big, doofy but so, so sweet and gentle. When I got him home that first day, he shot out of the box like a rocket...directly into the leg of my coffee table and almost knocked himself out. I stood there, appalled that he almost killed himself within 20 minutes of being under my care, but I just knew he was the one companion for me. Because, really, what animal in their right mind would do that?

He was with me through about 5 moves, a break up or two, and even a couple of deaths in the family. He would lick my tears when I cried and then he would steal my cigarettes when I wasn't looking.

I respected that about him.


He was just a good chicken. Snarkier Than You was a tad apprehensive when her and the chicken were first introduced but soon enough, she was even cuddling with him.

Now! On to the funny. I do admit that I'm recycling this post from an old blog from a long time ago, when Gizmo was just a spring Chicken but it explains my sweet old ferret-face to a T.

Junior Is Up To No Good!!!

Ok, well Junior actually goes by the name Gizmo. Or Chicken (long story). Anyway, Gizmo is a ferret. For those that aren't familiar with these cute little critters, ferrets like to hoard stuff. And they steal what they hoard and, quite honestly, make excellent little thieves. Actually, the ferret's Latin name roughly translates into 'Stinky Mouse Killing Thief'. So there is your useless knowledge for the day - do with it what you will.

This is Gizmo:


Gizmo's 'room' is actually the box spring of our queen size bed. We were not happy with this but, as I've said before, ferrets are very resourceful and quite determined to get their way. It was a good, long hard battle but Gizmo persevered - the box spring was his.

Gizmo also really really likes plastic - you crinkle a plastic bag in the kitchen and he comes out of nowhere and will go ape shit to get the bag. So, naturally, Gizmo hoards plastic bags. And anything they contain. I've found books in plastic, shoes in plastic (that I carry to work with me), jewelery in plastic, etc. Every month I go through his hidey hole and clean out the contraband and make sure that he doesn't have anything valuable, important or dangerous in there. After this month's sweep, however, the box spring is going far far away.

This is what we found:


Apparently Gizmo's plastic fetish has reached epic proportions. That big mound in the middle of the bed is comprised of plastic bags of every shape and size from sandwich bags to gigantic Target bags. He must have been pulling them out of the pantry behind my back and hiding them in the box spring.


I honestly could not understand why I was going through pocket tissue packs like crazy. It now appears that someone has figured out how to open my purse. Which I hang up on the doorknob, by the way. How he even gets up there is a mystery.


That, my friends, is a FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH!!!! And it was inside my box spring!!! Gizmo apparently really coveted this gem of a find because I found it inside a plastic bag that was already inside a plastic bag. Oh, and that's also some important looking cable and a maxi pad.

Just for the record, Gizmo has no interest in chewing or eating any of his finds. He just likes to hide them. His box spring days, however, are over.

62 comments:

  1. Great post in honor of chicken/Gizmo. I'm sorry for you and ML's loss, but I believe the joy you both experienced with chicken will sustain you in the down times.

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  2. JJ, Loosing a pet is always sad, even with all the good,and funny memories.. I had a feret once,Chico.. he was fun and mischevious as well. Sorry for your loss, glad you shared your fun stories..He sure was a pac-rat er ferett..Did he actually sleep in the box spring?? There must be some MORE stories around that tid bit...

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  3. I am so sorry that you lost your pet. That is one of the worst feelings in the world.

    The post about him stealing all those bags, however, is hysterical. I am in tears laughing at the photo of the things he stole. Especially all the tissue packs, and the sandwich.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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  4. Awe. What a sweet post. I am laughing through my tears. I'm sorry for your loss JJ, truly. Seems Chicken was a great pet, friend, companion. He will be missed.

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  5. Aw, so cute, that chicken! My heart goes out to you:(

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  6. Oh NO! Bye bye Chicken...you were amazing. I lost my dog and I still cringe when the doorbell rings because I think he's going to go ape shit like he used to...and it's been almost a year now. It'll take a while...xoxoxoxo

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  7. Aw what a sweetie pie. Thanks for sharing your memories of your cute little guy.

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  8. What a wonderful sweet post. Losing a pet is so hard. Big hugs to you and ML and thanks for sharing the fantastic laughs of Chicken with all of us.

    Ummm...my word verification is potheda...LOL

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  9. Oh JJ, you big sweetie. You made me want a chicken of my own, only I think my enormous, exuberant dog might think he was a chew toy.

    Rest in Peace, chicken. You were well loved and will be missed.

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  10. Oh Jenny, I am so sorry to hear about Chicken. I don't think people really understand how hard it is to loose a pet, they ARE family members. ((HUG))

    Thank you for sharing your story about Chicken and his fetish of all things plastic... (and I thought I had issues with Twilight and Rob!!!!) at least I'm out in the open with it and not stuffing my Twilight paraphernalia in my box spring!!!!!

    Much love JJ.. I'll be thinking about you. MWAH.

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  11. I'm familiar with your loss. I had 2 babies, Snickers and Reeses, and my poor Reeses passed earlier this year at just over a 1 year old. I'm now up to 3 with adding Skittles and Pepe Le Pu as friends for Snickers. My love of ferrets started when I was 12 or 13 and was reignited a couples years ago by a visit to the Whisker Wagon and meeting my dearest Goober. GREATEST FUCKING ANIMALS IN THE WORLD! May you get dream visits full of sweet Gizmo ferret kisses. All my love and thoughts your way. MWAH!

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  12. Oh sweets, I'm so sorry. Sending big hugs your way. Have you ever read "The Rainbow Bridge" poem? It's fitting. Here's a link: http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm. I'm sure your choice was agonizing, but that's the most loving thing you can do for your pet in that situation, and you did the loving thing for him.

    Your stories about Gizmo made me laugh - I bet he made you laugh a lot too. I never thought about a ferret as a pet, but he sounds like a sweet and funny little guy!

    w/v: fervian. Ferret Heaven, where Gizmo is happy and healthy :)

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  13. Oh Jenny I am so sorry for the loss of Gizmo/Chicken. I always loved your stories about him. He is sooo adorable. I showed my hubby the post and the pictures and he said that it looked like you had one picture of Gizmo's face and you placed it in front of different places - I went back and it does look like that LOL!!!

    I totally know what you mean about the quiet. I only lasted 4 months after the loss of my first cat Simon before I couldn't stand the quiet and we got Milo and Otis, my two cats. Now of course I miss that silence LOL BUT I would trade it for anything.

    Hugs to you and ML.

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  14. Now THAT is the way to do a Eulogy. Celebrate your lil buddy's life and awesomesauce, dammit! I'm sorry you lost Chicken, but you have some BADASS hilarious stories to keep.

    I will crinkle some plastic bags in his memory. ::raises a Kohl's bag:: This one's for you, Gizmo/Chicken.

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  15. oh bb...

    i didn't like ferrets when i met you. i had a roomie in college who had a ferret and i hated that fucking thing. it would steal stuff, get all hopped up until i was in the kitchen counter while it did a ferret-y war-dance on the kitchen floor... i woke up one day with that little beastie on my chest, staring me down (note: it had to crawly under a 1" space beneath my door to get there).

    but gizmo? gizmo was different. he was sweet and lovable and won me over from the start... i am going to miss that stinky little chicken and his little speckle-y nose, too.

    xoxo

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  16. RIP Gizmo the ferretface. I am sorry to hear about your loss JJ. I've been reading Twitarded ever since February of '09, and best remember Gizmo as "being stinky and adorable, kind of like RPattz". May he spend all eternity in a ferret heaven filled with plastic bags to crinkle and destroy and hide in box springs.

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  17. bb words are never enough. Chicken was one remakable little guy. Thank you for sharing him with us. ((Hugs))

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  18. sorry to hear about gizmo. it's so hard to lose a faithful friend. i had a few ferrets for a while and had to give them up in a breakup. i missed them more than the boyfriend. they are such lovey animals, stink and all. i would put the little boy, loki, into the front pouch pocket of my hoodie and put my hand on the side and he would rub his little nose into my palm. the female was just a bitch. that is what we got for naming her sweetie. murphy's law, i guess.

    xoxo

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  19. Sorry for your loss, @JJ.

    Lovely, sweet post.

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  20. Sorry about Gizmo.It is always painful to lose a pet.

    As the owner of a cat who EATS plastic bags (I have to keep them under lock and key)and steals any kind of food he can get his jaws on- esp.PB sandwiches-- I enjoy Gizmo's antics. RIP, little stinky one.

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  21. **HUGS** JJ & ML. Little Gizmo will be smiling down on you and stealing all the things covered in plastic in ferret heaven and leaving poop surprises!

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  22. Awww, man. Pets are wonderful. Sorry about your Gizmo.

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  23. Aww JJ! Like I said before, I feel like a dickface. Here I was all day bitching and complaining about my hurt back and you've had this goin on. I saw this post and started to tear up in my car in the Walmart parking lot...so I waited till now to read it.

    I am so so sorry for your loss!! I know what you're going through as I've had to put down 3 of our dogs in the last several years. Gizmo seemed like a fun lil guy and it sounds like he had such a good life. The stories of him and the plastic bags made me laugh my ass off! Thank you for sharing your story of him with all of us.

    Love you bunches bb!

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  24. Oh my JJ, so sorry to hear about your loss :( But what a great lil dude you had. I hadn't seen the hoarding post...it was hysterical. It's a good thing he didn't eat any of that stuff! Jake (my cat, named pre-twi) will eat plastic bags, clothes, pads & tampons.

    RIP "Gizmo...aka CHICKEN." :)

    xo Jen

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  25. So long Gizmo you are missed lil' guy. I know I would have loved you too.

    JJ, you know I get this, it sucks. I still miss my dear sweet dog every day but it is remembering the stories like you shared here that make it all bearable and carry you through. I wish I could be with you to have a good cry and a good laugh about your sweet chicken. XO bb.

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  26. RIP Gizmo, and big cuddles to you, JJ.

    It's hard work losing a pet, I've been there.

    Just one question, a little lost in translation, what's a box spring?

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  27. Ahh, JJ, I'm so sorry. He was so cute, and I loved the plastic-hoarding story. I can tell he was a good friend and companion. Maybe you can write him into a novel next month. I memorialized my sweet Wire Haired Fox Terror (sic) in a novel I wrote. Ruby lives on... Chicken can, too.

    Hugs... I know it's hard, but every day will be just a little bit easier... one less tear, one more smile.

    Love ya.

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  28. Oh Jenny so sorry for your loss. Pets really are family (sometimes better than actual family) & it's heartbreaking loosing them. He was gorgeous & such a character. XOXO.

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  29. Ferrets = The Idiot savant of the animal kingdom. Smart enough to steal every remote control in your house, yet naive enough believe to their furry core that that their slinky bodies are actually aerodynamic enough to reach the kitchen counter if only they fling themselves off the back of the couch with enough gusto.

    Ferrets are unlike any other animal. The bond with a woozle is special. That corn chip smell that nobody but ferret people can appreciate. The fact that they are 3 inches high but can poop so loud you can hear the fart while you are in another room. My ferrets were my joy for many years. It's simply impossible to be grumpy when you watch a ferret war dance. That such reckless abandon can be contained in one tiny furry body is impossible to comprehend. They pack so much living into their short little lives. I understand your heartbreak. Sending you lots of love.

    - Kirstin

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  30. I don't like ferrets in general. My first husband had one & that's a whole story unto itself.

    Gizmo must have been the most special of ferrets. I feel your pain & encourage you to look for another special critter after some time to mourn.

    Rescue organizations are great. They normally take in animals & can tell you about their habits & personalities.

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  31. JJ, I am sorry for your loss. Pets are family too, just smaller and furrier, and losing one is never easy. Gizmo sure was cute, and I'm sure he was a fabulous little companion!

    Thanks for sharing the funny stories and pictures of his stash! I'm sure he's in his own little box spring heaven now, full of plastic bags and other assorted treasure.

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  32. Aw JJ, sorry to hear. My condolences. That was a lovely post though. Methinks Gizmo aka Chicken would be proud of his mama. I had no idea about the hoarding thing either lol. I lost my cat- Tommy, not too long ago. I had gotten him as a present on my 8th birthday.. yeh he was pretty old. But its always hard, losing a beloved animal.

    *Hugz*

    Lux

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  33. Putting down a pet is the worst. (((HUGS)))

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  34. JJ..I am so sorry for your loss. Pets are a big part of our families and it is a terrible feeling when you have to say good-bye to a family member. Gizmo sounds like he was an awesome family member!!!!

    Your post hit close to home for me. Exactly two years ago to this day my hubby and I had to put our little lorikeet Sammy (aka Pig) to sleep. It is the only time in our 15 years together I have seen my hubby cry.

    Big hugs to you and ML. Hang in there.

    If you need a quick cheer up here is a link to Sammy bustin' a groove to "Push It"

    http://www.youtube.com/melvescio#p/u/4/--esT__bSLM

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  35. Aww JJ, I'm so sorry for your loss. Ferrets are such wonderful little creatures. My sister had two (Ebony and Ivory) who stayed with us at my parents' house for a little while. I used to LOVE playing with them and just watching them play and do the ferret war dance. I swear one of the best noises in the animal world is the sound of ferrets giggling! They always brought a smile to my face. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece of your life with us. I hope all the good times you had with Gizmo/Chicken bring a smile to you and ML's faces when you're feeling sad. Sending lots of hugs, sunshine, and sparkley things your way. xoxo

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  36. So sorry for your loss - anyone that has lost a beloved pet feels your pain right now.

    Thanks for sharing the old post of Gizmo's tricks - I literally burst out loud when I got to the "FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH" part. And those good times are what you'll always remember.

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  37. I have more pictures of the chicken than I do of my husband. True story. He was well loved & will be missed by many people he never even met.

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  38. I did have the pleasure of meeting the Chicken once when I stayed with JJ. I had to keep all my bags zipped up tight and let me tell you, that little thief spent more time trying to get into those bags.... He was so friggin cute, you couldn't get mad at him. I'm gonna miss him too. I love furry little creatures... even if they do smell funny.

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  39. So sorry, JJ. I love your tribute to him. I especially like the uneaten pb and j. It really was all about the plastic, huh? Oh, and our dog, when we first got him as a puppy spent every night at first in the box spring. It felt safe, I guess.

    You're lucky to have had him in your lives as he was lucky to have had you. Kisses.

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  40. I just recently (like last week) found your "power panty" link on another page(can't remember...)and started reading. I have laughed and laughed at some of your posts!!! You are now on my favorites list that I visit every night. This post on your ferret made me giggle with all the plastic!!! I have worked in the pet industry for years, so I know all about these little "plastic pilferers." Anyway, had to leave a comment and tell you how much I enjoy your site and every post. You make me laugh and FYI I am just like the Texas girl who wrote in the letter of how she got sucked in over nite with the books and has moved on to secret obsession. Sadly, I have no friends to share this with either...

    Thanks for the nightly laughs!!!

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  41. Pets. We put up with the shit they do (often literally) without a second thought. If people behaved as our pets do, we'd...well, actually the world would be a lot better off.

    Deepest sympanthies JJ. Our beloved ancient cat, Smokey, passed away this week, at home, peacefully.

    I may now be able to have a houseplant or two again. j/s

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  42. I am sorry for your loss. I too had my own Chicken. She was a cat. Everyone thought it was such an odd name. I'd like to think both Chickens are up in heaven playing with plasic bags and rubber mice. My current pet Mazie is a pack rat. Her "treasures" are hidden under our bed. It is amazing the things they steal!

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  43. Big sorry. Pets are so easy to love, with such an uncomplicated love. Hugs to you all. XXX

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  44. ((hugs)) I'm so sorry for your loss. I loved to get your tweets about mischief Chicken would get into, and thanks for sharing the post about his antics. I love seeing his cute little face and then his hoard of treasures, and I'm sure you have tons of funny stories and happy memories with him. xo

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  45. Such a face on Gizmo! I'm so sorry for your loss, JJ. Pets come in all shapes and sizes. My dog of 11 1/2 years died a year ago July. My heart broke. I adopted her when she was about 3 yrs old. She was with me through quite a few moves and a messy dissolution and for most of that time, it was just the two of us. Unconditional love... they have it and we're lucky to be the recipients of it. I adopted another shelter dog last November and she's a sweetheart (in my profile pic :) I can't imagine not having an animal aorund. When you're ready, I hope you'll bring another furbaby (or shelled, or scaled, or whatever) into your home :)

    xox
    J

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  46. I'm so sorry JJ! That is so terribly sad... My aunt always had ferrets, and they are such funny little creatures. I'm so sorry you lost him... My cats are part of my family and losing a pet is like losing a family member.

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  47. JJ, that was a lovely eulogy for Chicken, and I'm sorry you had to go through the trauma of putting him down. At least he is in a better place now, probably running through acres and acres of plastic bags, pocket packs, and peanut butter sandwiches, and maybe even a Mrs. Chicken.

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  48. “To be loved by any animal, should fill us with awe – for we have not deserved it.” – Marion C. Garretty

    So sorry. Really. SHIT! TOtally not good with this kind of stuff.

    On another note...HOLY GIANT PILE OF PLASTIC BAGS!! What a talented little guy! He even looks like a little bandit with that mask!

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  49. JJ, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is hard for anyone. They become so much a part of your lives, the good and the bad. I actually read this last night and was telling my husband about it (he had a friend that had TWO of them and the horror stories, I would hear). Regardless, I feel your pain. But your pic of his plastic fetish is super cute.

    xoxoxo
    Suzie

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  50. Raise your glasses to ferrets, the pets with the most (quirky) personality! We owned 2 ferret-faces 15 years ago, and still miss the onery, lovable little critters. Our ferret cave was an old hide-a-bed sofa; one ferret had a leather fetish and the other a rubber fetish. The vaccuum cleaner was their great Enemy.
    Your posts about Gizmo always made me smile. RIP little Chicken.

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  51. thanks so much to everyone for stopping by to say a word, share a story (@mel in the atl - your bird - omg! - beautiful! and he had rhythm! he was a better dancer than i am - lol) or just read - pets are a huge part of our lives and it's so hard when they go... as non-kid-people, well, i think sometimes are attachments are that much deeper (not saying that people with children don't love their pets!). gizmo was like 800 in ferret years and had a cushy life but, like everything and everyone i know who has passed from this world, i wish he could remain with us forever...

    and at that last Anon - you have friend to share with now - welcome aboard & hope to see you around!

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  52. & @I Heart 50 - a boxspring is the [sorta hollow/filled with springs] part of a mattress set that goes under the actual mattress. [wow worst definition ever but hopefully you get the gist.] : )

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  53. Wow. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments and stories. You have no idea how comforting it is to read all of your comments.

    Pets always manage to weasel their way into the deepest fiber of our hearts. It's the unconditional love, their funny/quirky/bizarre behavior and their little (or very big) personalities.

    I want to thank you all for your comments. You've truly made a sad situation a little better.

    Laters, baby.

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  54. JJ
    So, so sorry. The pics of Gizmo are adorable. I'm glad you have wonderful memories. Boy, he really was resourceful! I understand what it's like as we had to put our cat down last year around this time too. My younger daughter took if very hard. You will feel better eventually, but you'll never forget your little chicken!

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  55. Girl, I'm sorry for your loss,
    lot of kisses from Argentina.

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  56. Much love to you and Gizmo. I used to have 4 ferrets myself, it has been years since I lost all of them. And I still miss them. Recently I took pictures of them out to tell my daughter a few stories. She loved it.

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  57. @STY - Thanks! We just call that the 'base' of the bed. Makes sense now tho x

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  58. JJ, thanks for sharing, and my condolences on your loss. He looked like a fun friend to have around! :D

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  59. i feel for you. i just lost my lil fletcher. he was an albino ferret. when i got him i realized he was deaf. he loved stuffed animals and would drag huge teddy bears as far as he could. he also liked flip flps. the button on the bottom intrigued him. my lil guy had adrenal cancer. died last month. so now i just have my lil girl brody. she is the thief. her favorite is pens. when i moved, i found a shit ton of pens, around 100, under my dresser. as well as about 10 lighters and anything that was pen shaped. ive had her for 7 years now and got fletcher a lil after her. i miss him. he was never the smartest but he was a sweetie. so now i just spoil the fuck out of brody. and then day he died she gave me kisses and licked the tears. as if she knew.

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  60. Hey JJ-

    I'm so sorry for your loss--pets are the best and the key to the family.

    I'm thinkin of you--lots of love!

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  61. JJ, thanks for sharing, and my condolences on your loss. He looked like a fun friend to have around! :D

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  62. Girl, I'm sorry for your loss,
    lot of kisses from Argentina.

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