I'm kind of pissed at the Breaking Dawn director right now. He owes me $9.99. I was in the middle of dying my hair this afternoon. Yes, I should have that professionally done, but I've been scarred by some assbag hairstylist who butchered my hair years ago. I went to him looking for light brown hair with dirty blond highlights, but I got fried purple. And that was before half my hair fell out. I'd really like to post the name of that ass-munching, donkey-fucker, but our legal department (aka STY) has advised against it.
Nonetheless, my hair was simmering in dye earlier when Twitter blew the fuck up. Rob. Kristen. Almost naked. I swallowed my tongue and my vagina shot a laser to the center of the earth. The timer went off for my hair. I hit 'ignore.' Like I'm going to walk away from my phone when Rob is stripping to his Pattinson Panties. Bitch, please.
I'm not sure how much extra time my hair fermented, but I've gone from medium brown to goth black. Bad timing, Bill Condon. Please to be working around my grooming schedule next time. Below is the reason I look like Wednesday Addams.
It was so worth it.
Images from Robsessed and RobertandKristen.net
Take it offffff!!!! (Sorry. Lost my head for a minute.)
This is my favorite picture ever.
I get it. He's yours. I'll back away slowly.
"Is that bitch, Jenny Jerkface, in your trailer again?"
I like the color of the bikini, but I'm not loving the style. Either way, she's still prettier than me. Bitch.
"I just peed."