Saturday, November 13, 2010

Bill Condon Ruined My Hair

*SPOILERS*

I'm kind of pissed at the Breaking Dawn director right now. He owes me $9.99. I was in the middle of dying my hair this afternoon. Yes, I should have that professionally done, but I've been scarred by some assbag hairstylist who butchered my hair years ago. I went to him looking for light brown hair with dirty blond highlights, but I got fried purple. And that was before half my hair fell out. I'd really like to post the name of that ass-munching, donkey-fucker, but our legal department (aka STY) has advised against it.

Nonetheless, my hair was simmering in dye earlier when Twitter blew the fuck up. Rob. Kristen. Almost naked. I swallowed my tongue and my vagina shot a laser to the center of the earth. The timer went off for my hair. I hit 'ignore.' Like I'm going to walk away from my phone when Rob is stripping to his Pattinson Panties. Bitch, please.

I'm not sure how much extra time my hair fermented, but I've gone from medium brown to goth black. Bad timing, Bill Condon. Please to be working around my grooming schedule next time. Below is the reason I look like Wednesday Addams.

It was so worth it.


Images from Robsessed and RobertandKristen.net

Take it offffff!!!! (Sorry. Lost my head for a minute.)

This is my favorite picture ever.

Afjdjfsdhfhkfjhiuyhfdjksf...

I get it. He's yours. I'll back away slowly.

"Is that bitch, Jenny Jerkface, in your trailer again?"

I like the color of the bikini, but I'm not loving the style. Either way, she's still prettier than me. Bitch.

"I just peed."

42 comments:

  1. "i just peed"


    oh, rob.... you're not the only one. i blame TexasKatherine.

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  2. "Is that bitch, Jenny Jerkface, in your trailer again?"

    baaahahhaa!

    wv: trolog (as in like a troll took a dump?)

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  3. I am DED looking at the hottness that is Rob. Umph. No words, just drool. I'll have to copy these to my personal spank bank, and crop the Stew out. No offense, it just works better for me without her showing off her flat tummy. God, he's perfection personified.

    Sorry about your hair, but hey, shit happens and Rob's almost naked, and you now have a really good reason to buy a new hat. That's a win win!

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  4. Is Rob's hand on Kristen's ass in the picture where he's smoking? Look again, I think it is.

    Fucking shit, he's so damn hot. I'm watching Harry Potter right now and 3 minutes in, Rob jumps out of a tree and I practically wet myself. I feel like a huge pervert but I don't even care. Mostly because I'm home alone and so there's no one here to judge me. I know you guys won't, right? RIGHT????

    FYI the word verification on this comment is "dorki"! Yep. Even blogger is a Judgy Von Holierthanthou

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  5. @Vermonstermom--Yes, yes it is. I need someone to Face in the Hole my head in there. Unf.

    @Jaymes805--I make my son watch HP4 all the time just so I can perv on baby Rob. There are at least 4 things wrong with that. Not that I care.

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  6. Thank you for the urgent text message that blew up my night as well. No hair dye was involved, but I 'pretty much' had dinner ready when I just left it sitting there to go online. I think teaching my kid to fend for herself in these situations is a good life skill that she will thank me for. Some day. Eventually. After therapy.

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  7. Hahahahah @TK I'm glad I'm not alone. At least you can blame watching it on the fact you have a son. I've got nothin. My cats don't really appreciate HP.

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  8. Wait there are no dots for the FX guys... were they shooting?

    Nice picture of "the V" though. Very nice.

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  9. Wow, sorry to hear about what happened to your hair TK. Makes me glad that I decided to put off dying my hair purple until tomorrow (imagine how bad that would be if I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter 7 looking like Tonks if she got into a fight with both a stylist and a lawnmower).

    I wonder if my professors will let me off for not doing my homework if I told them I was too busy looking up these pictures. Probably not.

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  10. I see our first C&D on this one! Then we'll know we've REALLY made it. Until then, I'm going to go have happy dreams to all this. Yummm...

    Sorry your hair had to be the sacrificial lamb here, TK - hope you agree it was totally worth it!

    xoxo

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  11. I didn't get to see these till later today..I was like...wha..oh...hellls yeah...woah... can you see her ahh...yeah I think you can...wow Robs lost some weight..hmm...yeah pretty hawt I must say..Oh and one more thing I hope our Edward LOOKS like our Edward..because these pics are telling me differently.... new hair is throwing me off, and the cloths...but JJ already ranted about that ish..but the hair... God I miss that hair....The End

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  12. I needed to be resuscitated this afternoon when this happened. Woah, baby.

    I. Cannot. Wait. For. This. Movie.

    ...wait, it's not happening for another year? FML.

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  13. I just cannot stop looking at these pictures. Drool. I was really worried about seeing so much about the movie before hand, but after all these pics, hit me baby!

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  14. These are the shots I've waited 2 years to see. I can die a happy woman now.

    WV = crunc
    Lots of images come to mind.....

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  15. Hey wait a minute *shakes self out of lust-induced stupor*
    Just WTF is wrong with looking like Wednesday Adams bitch?!

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  16. Holy shitballs! Um. OK, ladies. I think the world may end soon. Our precious is half naked and in his undies!! Holy shitballs. I think half of us passed out and the other half instantly came. Geez. Isn't this what we'd been pleading for?? For years! THIS is why it pays to be a spoiler hOOr! Who still has their spoiler hymen now?? Who could resist this?! Damn.

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  17. Screaming..hooting...hollering...muttering intolerantly at the monitor..that pretty much sums it up. I had to get up and walk away for fear of hyperventilation.

    But seriously..what girl doesn't know the perils of a white suit....IT NEEDS LINING KSTEW!!!

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  18. @Myaftercar tweeted these at me yesterday and I went off the grid for a good 5 minutes until she tweeted me out of my Rob lust induced haze. All I have to say is now I need another shower. Those pics are just UNGH.*looks around for shamwow* Thanks @TK...and isn't the goth look coming back in :-)

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  19. *sigh* I intended to remain relatively spoiler free but I have no self control (this does not come as a surprise to me). The last two posts cleared stated they contained spoilers yet I looked anyway because I'm a weak impulsive Twi-h00r. FML.

    So, I'm giving up the no-spoilers-for-me-'cause-I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck 'tude because it's obvi a bunch of bullshit that I made up to get myself thru the next year.

    Robward can wear white jort-pris as much as he likes as long as he follows it up with almost nekkid goodness like this.

    Agreed 'bout Kstew's swimsuit. No way Alice would have packed that in the honeymoon slut trunk.

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  20. Umm gonna go ahead and suggest they film the whole damn movie in Brazil if we're gonna get spank bank worthy spoilers like these. I didn't even notice the jacked up hair this time, too many sexy ab pics.

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  21. Happy Chrismhukkwanzaa whateverROBmas to Twitardia!

    VW , I kid you not, PURABLE. Not much pure in my thoughts when I see Rob like this!

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  22. I was all OMG when I saw these pics last night! My hubs looked over at my lap top and shook his head at me. He did like the pic of Kstew in her wet white bikini (you didn't post that one) w/ little left to the imagination of her girly bits...well she is in Brazil.

    I love the one of him jumping in the water! My brain has to turn to mush!!!!

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  23. This is a good sign... is there a sequence of photos somewhere that I'm missing? Did he take off the boxers? Is there a photo of that? I need to see that photo. Oh, and I kinda want to stuff a couple cheeseburgers down KStew's throat... that skinny bitch. I wasn't that thin at birth.

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  24. You know you are fucked up when you are screaming "Rob is in his boxers!!!!!!" and your 11 yr old is mentions that something may be terribly wrong with me.
    If lovin Rob is wrong, I don't wanna be right...

    Sparkle Mindy

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  25. You hit the nail on the head with the 'laser to the centre of the earth' thing.

    At times like this I feel like it's a Close-Encounters-of-the-Third-Kind-for-Vaginas kind of thing. The Vagina mothership is communicating to us on a profound level, calling us home.

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  26. I missed the commotion, but shit these pictures are gold... Hmmm what can I do with these.... Muhahaa

    Bwahahah verifcation word: nopolman

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  27. @mysharona--"The mothership!" Bwahahaha!

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  28. dfkajsflslkjslfjksd*drool*sjasopifasmwlk4j324*die*sdlkfajlfjslfjsk*combust*

    How the hell am I supposed to write 27,000 more NaNo words with THIS distracting me?

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  29. WHEW!!! Thanks for that...Seriously...words escape me in times like these. :D

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  30. Rob is in his skivvies....Rob is fucking in his skivvies!!!!! Holy shit! Are you kidding me? Why are the skivvies still on? Why is he not in a bathing suit? Why are they still on? I am so freaking confused. I shall not complain though....because we have photos of Rob in his SKIVVIES!!!!! So, so, so very nice.

    @TK--sorry about your hair love. Is it really that bad? I would take the 'glass half full' approach because now every time you look at yourself in the mirror your hair will make you think of Rob in his SKIVVIES!!!! That is pure magic darling.

    P.S. I was NEVER as thin as KStew...EVER. Damn her and her Rob snatching ways. Robsnatch ways?

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  31. TK- I suggest you take the attitude that you made your hair darker on purpose since Rob's hair will be darker in Breaking Dawn.

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  32. You kill me. You are so funny. And Kristen almost makes me want to put the bowl of ice cream down. Almost.

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  33. Not sure that the bikini is very flattering to KStew. She's so adorable (and I was never that thin. Ever. EVER) but I think they could have done a little better.

    Oh, and RPattz? Yeah, he's all right looking in his skivvies... ;)

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  34. Oh. My. Fuck. My vag is totally whimpering right now and I'll probably need a shamwow for my computer chair. Fuck that...I think I am just gonna need a new chair in general. Ladies, we have hit the mother fucking mother load! Glory hallelujah! After an extensive drought we deserve to bask in the glory of Robward. And not just any Robward, mind you, but boxer brief clad Robward! Anyone else hear angels singing or is it just me?!? xoxo

    P.S. Glad I'm not the only one who puffy hearts Baby Rob from HP4! I feel a bit pervy while obsessively watching it...but hey what of it?!?

    Oh yeah, TK, sorry about your hair! Don't sweat it, I am sure you make one hawt goth bitch! :)

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  35. OH...MY...GOD!!! I love the 2nd & 3rd photo!! BAH HAHAHAHAHA!!! He looks like he picking out a wedgie & I think from the looks of that uhm...dive?? That might be the reason he gets the wedgies. LOL! MAN I JUST LOVE HIM!

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  36. Seriously...2nd to last picture...that's freaking Booger from Revenge of the Nerds!! But, KStew looks hot in her bikini. Bitch.

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  37. I know people will jump down my throat for this but I think Rob needs to start working out. He is too skinny to be the Edward described in the books. He is still beautiful either way.

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  38. Ummm I think 2 of those photos with the Kristen are not like the others...that is Kristen's double...look at the face and look up pictures (her name is Roberta?). And this girl actually has curves!

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  39. I see our first C&D on this one! Then we'll know we've REALLY made it. Until then, I'm going to go have happy dreams to all this. Yummm...

    Sorry your hair had to be the sacrificial lamb here, TK - hope you agree it was totally worth it!

    xoxo

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  40. "Is that bitch, Jenny Jerkface, in your trailer again?"

    baaahahhaa!

    wv: trolog (as in like a troll took a dump?)

    ReplyDelete

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