I've never taken a good picture--not even when I was a kid--though that had less to do with my physical attributes and more with my mental. Plus, I'm really pale. Seriously, people could tan off me on the beach (not that I would actually go to the beach in the first place) and, at a family gathering, Daddy (not a)Jerkface got all annoyed and shit because the flash kept reflecting off my skin and he finally yelled, "Goddammit Jenny! Get a tan!"
So yeah, there are some people who look great in pictures, all the time.
I am not one of them.
The other day, I was going through some photos from Fooooorks (and yes, I know we owe y'all the pictures. They are coming, promise. One of us volunteered for the task of compiling the photographs and then she went and signed up for NaNoWriMo, the stupid twat) and noticed a couple of things, one of them being that I don't take good photographs. As in, I literally do not take good photographs and I don't look good in photographs taken of me. Whatever, you know what I mean.
Case in point-- photos pulled from my camera:
Mrs. P TwiBite's teefs. She has the prettiest smile. Too bad I didn't capture it because I suck at taking pictures.
All I need is some glitter and then I would pass for a fucking Cullen. Daddy (not a)Jerkface is right. I need a tan.
Let's just say it's a good thing Gus was there.
Anyway, I was going through a bunch of pictures the other day and I began to see a pattern emerging...
That pattern was "Everyone looks awesome but Jenny Jerkface looks like a fucking asshole in 80% of the pictures." Now, this is through no fault of photographers, don't get me wrong. I own this one, all the way. It's like the moment I even think there is a camera around, I do stupid or asshole-y things.
Or, more likely, I just act like a stupid fucking jerk all the time so it was inevitable that there were going to be many pictures of me.. well, being me.
And then there is this:
Yay for me! I'm not smirking or giving that creepy I'm-thinking-about-doing-something-awful-to-you smile, doing weird body contortions, flipping someone off, giving someone rabbit ears AND my eyes are fucking open. For the win! I'm just going to chalk it up to being so overwhelmed by all the awesome-sauce women I was getting my picture with that I actually behaved like a fucking adult for once.
Maybe by the time Forks rolls around again next year, I'll behave myself and try not to act like a total fucking douche the entire time.
But probably not.