Monday, December 13, 2010

The Eclipse DVD: I Want To Marry It.

As you know, I was a veeeeery bad Twilight fan-blogger-lover and did not run right out at midnight last Friday, purchase the Eclipse DVD, and watch it on a loop for 48 hours like I should have. And believe me, I really did feel bad about that. But since LatchkeyHubs is home like 24 fucking 7 (or it seems because he's at work when I'm at work), it didn't happen. Until this past weekend. And while I didn't get to watch it for hours and hours non-stop, I did manage to squeeze in roughly four viewings...give or take a few scenes here and there. I love being able to choose my favorite Edward scenes without having to watch all that Jacob stuff!

I plan to make this DVD a nice dinner, give it a blowjob and hope it proposes to me soon!

First and foremost, I watched it with the Robsten commentary twice. I'll report more on my feelings about this later on...once my co-bloggers have had a chance to experience it, too. They're such slackers sometimes. In a nutshell, I love giggly Rob like a crack whore loves her, er, well, crack. I think I could live on his laugh. He also makes me want to abuse my lady bits like it's nickel night at the brothel.

But the one scene I can't seem to stop watching over and over again: the leg hitch/proposal scene - or as it's labeled on the DVD - "do me the honor." Motherfuckingholyshit! Yes, Edward...YES! That fucking leg hitch makes me sweaty - but not nearly as much as when the commentary is on. If you've seen it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If not, do it rightthefucknow! Just skip to that part. You won't be sorry. And my cousin [Double_Dippin] is right: listening to Rob with headphones on is truly fucking eargasmic! Especially in this scene.

Gah! Even Rob got a little hot and bothered watching this scene and he was in it!

I love everything about Edward in this scene... his smile, his face, his voice... and his proposal. The one thing that does sort of piss me off is the music over the leg hitch scene because you just know there was some serious panting going on humina humina... He makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, like he's talking to me only my name isn't Isabella Swan. If it was, I may have fucking died a thousand deaths the very first time I heard him say the words: Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me? Seriously. Maybe a million deaths.

I would have accepted a Cracker Jack ring from Edward Cullen... just sayin.

Even his talk of chaperoned strolls and ice tea on the porch and stealing a kiss or two, with all it's old fashioned-ness, still gets me all in a puddle. Because let me just tell you, Mr. Latchkey doesn't even hold a matchstick to his Sparkleness in the romance department. Ya, ya, I know he's a fictional character but my engagement was, shall I say, I tad bit different. A tad more real-life boring and completely unromantic. [Wow, could I sound any more like an ungrateful little spoiled bitch?]

There's nothing wrong with stalking. I've been known to do it myself a time or two. I may or may not have even stalked Mr. LKW... he had no choice but to marry me!

Not only had we been dating for almost 10 years, we had already talked about getting married so the ring and the actual engagement day were the only surprises. It was Christmas morning, we were getting ready to head out to my parents. I was all bundled up in my winter coat, purse in hand, boots on, when he pulled the small ring box out of his pocket. He handed it to me and said "this is for you." You could almost cut the fucking romance with a knife {{insert sarcasm here}}.

My ring is so much better than Bella's. And I have a headless husband!

I'm not saying I wasn't excited, because I was! I'd been waiting a very long time for that ring. And it was completely worth it. If you thought Twitarded was slow at getting shit done, you don't know Mr. LKW. It was almost another two years before we actually officially tied the knot. After much deliberation over the planning, we opted to elope which if you know us, it was the perfect solution. White dress... ick. People looking at me walking down the aisle... gross. Call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of attention.

I think this is why I love these movies so much... for the love story. So fellow Twitards, does Edward's proposal make you all giddy like a school girl like it does for me? Are you lucky enough to have someone in your life that would bite the head off a bad vampire to protect you? Tell me please... I'm feeling all soft and squishy inside after watching this movie all weekend. I need someone to hold me. And maybe leg-hitch me... [where's Snarkier Than You when I need her?]


  1. i gotta get it still but i really wanna see the commentary. or rather hear it

  2. That's exactly why this badly written story has sucked us all in. Deny it all you want, but who doesn't want romance in their life? Edward does it so well! I'm in the minority, but I'm more of an Edward than a Rob fan. Probably cuz' of the age difference.....

    Luckily with a little goading, my hubby really tries.

    LKW you are cuter than cute!

  3. OMFGJMFJF!! LKW is married to the headless horseman!! I knew she was an abomination straight from the deepest bowels of hell.

    I still can't believe someone so cute and innocent looking is such a fucking dirty cunt.

    And I'm a bad blogger. I still haven't gotten Eclipse. **Runs and hides**

  4. Er, Mr LKHubs has big hands and long fingers - that explains the big smile on yer face. You are one lucky biATch.

    Proposal scene is the one part of the film where I will say "Sssshhh be quiet" and watch with my mouth wide open and tongue hanging out. I don't really know why I say "Sshh", since I'm usually watching it on my own.

    By the way, has anyone else noticed how long it takes Rob to button up his shirt in this scene, in fact, I think he only
    manages one button hole. Somebody else has been dressing him in real life me thinks!!


  5. Yes! The proposal scene made me teary the first time I saw it. I still get chills when I hear Robward say "Isabella Swan..."

  6. It's the way Edward smiles after she says yes.....

  7. I heart you so much LKW! You are so hilarious! I loved the proposal scene as well! The commentary is the best! I think I could live off of Rob's giggle too! Just wanna squeeze him then make sweet sweet love in one of those brothels! LOL!

  8. I still haven't watched it, but it'll be the commentary first when I do.

    LKW, I'm totally there with you in the non-romantic real life department. I had no real proposal, no engagement ring, a hastily-arranged wedding (we threw it together in a week one summer when my parents were out visiting) and no honeymoon. It's no wonder I'm starved for romance!

  9. @Smitten I had no honeymoon either!!! And come to think of it, I chose my own engagement ring as well, and even told Mr Laxplays that he had to propose to me someplace other than bed. Oh and I also told Mr Laxplays that we were getting married b4 I chose my ring. Wow, now that I think of all this, I now understand where I went wrong ; 0

    p.s. I did make Mr Laxplays pay for the ring. It's the least I could do.

  10. I, like @jj, still don't have the dvd...but at least I can say it isn't because I'm too lazy to go to tarjay.*coughs*myhubswon'tletmewatchitcuzhe'saninsecuredoucherightnow*coughs*

    @lkw - something else we have in common, I waited 10 yrs for a ring too. On the up side, hubs proposed to me on a trip to was very sweet. :)

  11. The commentary is the BEST!! Can't wait till your slacker bloggy buddies watch it and you guys can give us your thoughts. It makes me die from laughter but the leg hitch scene w/ commentary made me want to change my pants. YUM-MMMMYYYYY.

  12. LKW- you give me hope. It's been 6 yrs for me and my s/o....but you know the story!

    PMSL at the photo of Bella's scar, totally looks like a "pearl necklace" if you ask me. Geeezus, did Rob splode' on her, pre- engagement?!?

    I have only watched Eclipse once since I have had it, no wait, twice...second time with commentary. I'm thinking it's due time. My s/o has to work at 6am, so maybe he'll go to bed early!

    xo J

  13. The Eclipse DVD is still sitting on my desk, unwatched. I can't wait to watch it with the commentary. Oh yeah... I also bought the Rifftrax today. I can't wait for that either.

    After dating for a couple of years I couldn't stand the lack of proposal and moved 3,000 miles away. He visited on Christmas a few months after I moved. When we got our presents out to exchange he got out the blue box. I stared at it with wide eyes and looked up at him and whispered, "Am I going to cry?". His eyebrows drew together and he said, "no, why would you cry?"

    I opened the box and it was a key chain. IT WAS A FUCKING KEY CHAIN!!! Not only that, but he came back a few months later and knocked me up. On the plus side he finally decided he should move to be closer.

    10 years later we're (basically) happy. I have two beautiful kids with him a nice home and he fucking rocks in the bedroom, but I never did get a proposal out of him (which is why I say "basically" happy). You know... a nice proposal would've been so... well... nice.

    Oh well, I guess it could've been worse. He could've ended up being a serial killer or something.

  14. I have to say that MY dvd is in my Lapward bedside my bed... and everynight I play the commentary with mah headphones on just to hear Rob talk, sigh,eat,giggle, moan,laugh, and do very naughty-naughty things to my ear..Oh yes Virginia there is a fucking Santa Claus and his name is Edward. If you haven't had an eargasim...I highly recommend you get a pair of headphones and listen in..They should have put a caution on the Dvd "CAUTION...listening to commentary with headphones, may result in #wetcrotchleghitchinghorneyness .Go ahead...give it a try.. So glad hubs MADE me watch it with his super awesome bose headphones..although he did bitchbrow me several times for my uncontrollable moaning..

  15. LKW, I didn't realize your husband was a fucking giant! Holy crap. I have to admit to never actually listening to the commentaries on any of the DVD's...I'm a terrible fangirl...

  16. I do melt at that scene.

    I didn't think much of the commentary, but I'll go back and try it with the headphones and see what happens.

    I WANT a romance like that!

  17. sweetie, i will leg hitch you three ways to sunday - you just say the word! and make sure Mr. LKW doesn't put me in your freezer... not sure if he is the jealous tyoe, you know???

    : )

  18. Yep, I am also a big fan of the proposal scene. I cried like the little Twi-bitch that I am the first time I saw it! I love that cute little nervous swallow thingy he does! :)

    As for the leg hitch...loved it but it could have been a little longer if you ask me. At my virginal Eclipse viewing I leaned over to my TwiBestie and was all "Oh my fuck, here it comes." Yeah, by the time I looked back to the screen it was GONE! Son of a one legged whore! Fuck my life! So of course I had to go see it again and again and...well you get the idea.

    All in all I was pleased with the proposal/leg hitching business, unless you count that monstrosity of a ring which still makes me throw up in my mouth and have nightmares!

  19. Everything about the proposal scene is spot on except for that fugly ring. I love when she jumps in his arms. The commentary is freaking amazing. In fact, I need to go listen again. That part and the part where Rob is chewing on his cheeseburger. Pure fucking gold. I am so happy that he is still just as goofy and odd. I hope he never changes....EVER. He could change lovers though...I'm here baby.

    @LAXplays I can totally imagine you watching that with your mouth open and "Sshhing" imaginary people. Love it.

  20. @JJ, you hit that nail right on the head with "I still can't believe someone so cute and innocent looking is such a fucking dirty cunt" <-- so true! LKW you're a cutie patootie. And your hubs has HAWT arms. Lucky girl.

    I FUCKING LOVE the proposal scene. My insides literally leap for join everytime he gets all 'Isabella Swan...' Oh. My. Lord.

    As a seemingly eternal singleton (hence my NEED for more sextoys, like, stat!) I daydream and wish for the day when I have some romance in my life. And yeah, I agree, it's the lovestory that sparked my addiction to Twilight. It's all of you biotches (and the Precious) that keep me here, but it was the fantasy of the perfect romance that captured me in the first place.

    So yeah, get me someone like that, like, now please. My list of pre-requisites is getting shorter by the day. Right now, I'd go with the following:

    1. Breathing
    2. Non-psychostalker
    3. Penis.


  21. @I_heart_fifty:
    I think you're asking too much. Edward himself only satisfies one of the things on your list, and his is deadly.

    w/v butwert: that's just crazy.

  22. OK so yeah, I had to go watch the scene again with commentary after reading this post.

    I NEED soundbites of the following:

    "I'm your boyfriend"
    "OK, hitch that leg, hitch that leg now"
    "Ooh, woooh" [during said leg hitching]

    You can SO tell Kristen wants to say "You dirty son of a bitch cock blocking whore" when he first breaks off the kiss, but she's so holding back.

    OK I'm done now. As you were.

  23. @Mrs P - True. I may need to reconsider. Psycho-stalkers may be welcome, so long as they're hawt, vampiric, and have tousled hair.

  24. I'm so fucking ripped off, our choice down under is a single disk with commentary or 2 disk with DVD extras & NO COMMENTARY! Fuckity fuck fuck. At least Rob talks & giggles in the extras coz it's all about Rob for me.

  25. Ugh I'm so jealous of you guys who have already watched the commentary, and those of you who haven't even gotten the DVD yet....well that's just sad.

    I have a dilemma, I got my husband a Blu Ray player for Christmas. So do I satisfy my need now by getting the DVD or do just wait to unwrap my own Eclispe on Blu Ray on Xmas??

  26. i admit that while i DID purchase the dvd, i STILL haven't found time to watch it. i see some epic eclipse marathons over the holidays when i have some time off, though! can't wait, based on this ringing endorsement!

  27. @Ms.hopeful2010 - I bought the Eclipse DVD/Blu Ray disc at Target. It's just one disc that you flip sides. I wanted to be able to watch it anywhere!

    I was literally watching Eclipse with commentary for the first time when I saw this post. So of course I quickly went to the leg hitch scene. Wow....My only regret is that my husband wasn't home after I saw and heard that scene again. I actually love the leg hitch scene so much that I actually reread that scene over and over the first time I was reading the book.

  28. My Husbands proposal was that we shopped for a ring (after dating a week) and we applied (I mean me) for credit to purchase the ring. When the salesman said that we were approved for the purchase, my future husband looked as he was going to pass out. The salesman offered him a chair. (how romantic)

    Here we are 15 years, two kids be fair,early on my hubs did purchase for me a gift that I wanted as a small girl and was denied as it was a "girls" toy - and I wasn't allowed to have.
    An Easy bake oven.

  29. This scene completely blows me away! The "do me the extraordinary honor" part...I want someone to feel honored that I want to spend my life with him! Is that so much to frickin ask??? Oh, and I totally want my leg hitched! Like, now.

  30. Yep, it's the romance that does it for me too. I had some romance with my proposal. It was just enough for me, because, honestly, I'm just not a girly girl. I got flowers, the ring, the getting down on one knee. And it was nice. We had been dating for four years so I knew the proposal was imminent...

    Now, for the Eclipse commentary during this scene - it totally made me laugh and aww and just get all emotional. (Don't judge me! lol) I like how Kristen goes "Aww." and then, just as quickly "This is such a stupid movie." She likes that scene too. :)

    For those of you that haven't seen the DVD - what are you waiting for?! lol


  31. I'm dying laughing at all the comments about my headless husband! Yes, he's pretty tall but I'm also borderline munchkin size. He's a good foot taller than me! And I'm sooooo glad I'm not alone in the lack-of-romance department.

    JJ - You're such a liar. I AM sweet and innocent. You put words in my mouth.

    TwiredJen - Be patient... unless you get to the 10 year mark, then you need to get on his lazy ass!

  32. I think the leg hitch scene is one of my favorite scenes in this series, so far. I love the way Rob talks, the sound of his voice, the way he looks, everything. I swoon everytime I see and I have to watch that part at least twice before I can move on to the rest of the movie.

    My husband and I went and picked my ring out together. The jewelry store we went to happened to have a sale, the ring happened to fit, and they approved him for a line of credit. I thought it was fate *shrugs* 5 years later I'm not so sure, JK, JK. Although I wish he would watch these 3 movies and learn a thing or 2,000 about romance.

    Farts and burps and other bodily functions are NOT romantic... js.

    Thanks so much for this wonderful cite. I have truly enjoyed it!

  33. The hubs and I decided to get married and planned quite a bit of the wedding before I had a ring. In fact, I told him I didn't really need one...I was OK with us using the money toward a down payment on a house or something. But he insisted that I should have a ring. I knew that he was shopping for one, I just didn't know when it would happen. Long story short, as we were driving to the wedding for friends of ours, he reached in his tux pocket, cracked open the box, and handed it to me. Of course I bawled and put it right on. At that point we hadn't told anyone outside of our immediate families that we were getting married so when we danced the first dance of the wedding, the lights caught the sparkle of my ring (the hubs did an OUTSTANDING job...he knows his four Cs and for that, he gets a lot of my C whenever he wants it!), and our news was out! Later that night when we got home to our apartment and were walking our puppy, I casually mentioned that he hadn't really ASKED me to marry him. He stopped walking, turned around to face me (and I think was about to drop down to one knee) when the puppy saw a rabbit and took off running, dragging the hubs with him, so my proposal went like this, "UGH...Oscar, no! Will you marry meeeeeeeee?!?" as he was dragged away!

    On a Twi-related note, my Secret Santa exchange is in two days and as I mentioned in the "bad blogger" comments, my SS better come through for me...I can't believe I've held out this long, but I'm cheap and the thought of someone else paying for the DVD was enticing.

  34. The proposal scene KILLS me. Literally every time after I watch it, I sigh. It's so romantic. And the romance gets me, hook, line, and sinker. I LOVE the hug where she jumps into his arms. Only thing that bugs me is that it cuts to Bella while Edward is dropping to one knee. Who doesn't want to watch Rob fall to his knees to propose?

    I had a very sweet proposal - he went to a lot of effort and gave me the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. And he even did it before the deadline I may or may not have given him (look, we had been dating for four years, it's not like I jumped the gun). I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a very, very lucky girl.

  35. And also - I like the softer side of LKW. Look at you, talking romance and oozing sweetness. It's still you, though; I can tell because of the 234089 f-bombs in this post :)

  36. I finally watched my DVD this weekend and oh hells yeah, Edward's proposal totally gets to me. It's the "extraordinary honor" part that really does me in. If only I were ever to hear a man say such simple, but intense, words to me... uh, I don't know what I'd do.

    I was proposed to once. The proposal was actually very sweet and romantic. I'd take a do over on the proposal, just swap out the man.

  37. I get it. My proposal was not a surprise in timing, but its location was. I thought having only 30 people at the wedding would get rid of some of the issues you mentioned (except I wanted my big white dress), but later wish it had been just parents and other relatives. Eloping is a fine choice.

  38. umm, mr. lkw looks verah nice. you go girl.

    i love, love, love the proposal scene. will have to listen to the commentary again and pay closer attention to hearing words rather than staring at rob's...movements.

    rob rocked that scene, it was like his soul came right through those contact lenses. even kstew got all sappy about it. lucky bitch.

  39. still looking for my vampDecember 14, 2010 at 7:50 PM

    AHHHHHH! My friend bought me the Eclipse DVD - I just finally opened the bag she gave me. Last year I bought her New Moon, the two DVD version. What does the donkey whore do to me?? Single DVD. Seriously, what the fuck is she thinking??? I have heard so many good things about the commentary...

    As for the movies, it is the love story. As girls, you have the Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc. etc., and you think, oh! I can't wait to be in love! Look at how fucking wonderful it will be!

    And then you fall in love, and it isn't too much like that, and then you get married, and suddenly the romance dies down and your husband farts in bed and can barely remember your birthday without some prodding.

    Edward is the ultimate romantic. The first time I read Eclipse, I actually cried at that scene because in reality, it is what all the little girls in us want.

  40. OK, so this morning I watched most of the movie with the commentary, and just now made both my kids suffer through the entire movie yet again (they're 4 and 8). Watching it with them is hilarious! They branched off into "pretending", taking turns being Victoria and one of the wolves, and occasionally Emmett, and yelling at each other, "no, you can't cross the river! That's the boundary line!" Love my Twi-kids.

    My proposal was pretty dang romantic. Mr. Monster did it in front of my parents (gah!) and in a very significant location. Dropping to one knee and the whole shebang. I only wish I wasn't wearing an old sweatshirt and carpenter overalls, cause I look hideous as my mother was of course snapping photos. ;)

  41. the post!!!

    Mr. MIA botched his proposal as well, but made up for it by giving me a ring he customer designed just for me and took me on my first overseas trip for our honeymoon.

    I just receieved my copy of the dvd...I can't wait to watch it over the holidays.

  42. LKW- You're too cute! Love the picture of you and the hubs...what we can see him!

    Geez, I never even thought about wearing my headphones while listening to the commentree. I believe that's on my 'to do' list like... tonight!

    The proposal scene is definitely one of my favs too. That, and the very end when they're in the meadow and Edward says "you mean it's not all about me?", his smile is do die for!

    But what gets me all gooey was when Rob says in comments "mmm-hmm" to Kristen on two different occasions. I just melt listening to him being silly and adorkable.

  43. I really kinda liked Eclipse in the theater but on DVD? Meh. I bought the DVD the first Saturday after it came out and watched it 4 times over the course of 2 or 3 days but I just didn't like it that much. Maybe I just need a bigger TV with surround sound. :)

    I think I'm old 'cause I liked the Wyckenie commentary better than the Robsten one. However, I didn't listen to Rob with headphones so Imma get right on that. Excellent idea!

    The proposal scene was sweet except why does Edward always look like he's in pain? Does it hurt to be that beautiful?

    I've been proposed to by two men. The first time Mr. Asshat handed me a small little ring sized box. I opened up the box, got excited, looked up at him expectantly and then... nothing. He just plopped down next to me on the couch without saying a word. So, I said, 'Is there anything you want to ask me?' and he replied, 'Oh, yeah, do you wanna get married?' Unbelievably I said yes after that but in my defense I was very young and apparently very stupid. We never did get married (whew!) but I stayed with that dope for 5 more years. The second proposal was very sweet. My bf had moved to the other side of the world (literally) months earlier and I had gone to visit him for 3 weeks. On the last day of my visit he got down on one knee, told me he loved me very much and asked me to be his wife. We didn't get married either but he was a good guy and I'll never forget how I felt the day he proposed. *le sigh*

    The behind the scenes stuff on the DVD is pretty decent. I thought the jump feature for Edward and Jacob was pretty fuckin' brilliant. Apparently David Slade or whoever decides these DVD things was actually thinking about what Twi-fans might want to see. Cool.

  44. I actually enjoyed Eclipse better with the Robsten commentary. They're both so cute. I agreed with some of their criticisms as well.

    Loved the proposal scene but was expecting a bit more umph to the leg hitch - a bit rougher would have been more sexy.

  45. I'm just going to say it. Robsten for the MFW. Yeah. I give a big, fat Crapsten. LOL!! I love the commentary. Adorkable Rob talking about his stomach rumbling from the In-N-Out cheeseburgers, bitching about Bella and Jacob, telling Kristen the scenes where her wig looked good. Kristen saying his name...out loud...giggling and saying we were getting a good dose of Rob. Amen to that!

    I cannot believe how tall Mr. LKW is, girlfriend! And you were together 12 years before you got married? Wow. Well, at least you know for sure that you're compatable. And I squeed seeing your mug. Miss you big time.

    The proposal scene in Eclipse is beautiful. I wish Slade would have left the camera still, but the way that Rob delivered the dialogue was absolutely perfect. It was the part I was waiting for the most, and he nailed it.

    Sorry I've been such a bloggy fail lately.


  46. umm, mr. lkw looks verah nice. you go girl.

    i love, love, love the proposal scene. will have to listen to the commentary again and pay closer attention to hearing words rather than staring at rob's...movements.

    rob rocked that scene, it was like his soul came right through those contact lenses. even kstew got all sappy about it. lucky bitch.


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